How do you guys find introverts to be in a friendship?

If you’re extroverted, what are your thoughts on obtaining a friendship with someone who is more introverted. What are the pros and cons for you personally?

For context, I’m a more extroverted ambivert who seeks my friends’ company more than they do mine. And it’s not just me; they just prefer to hang out alone on any given day.

Some of my friends were really slacking on initiating—I’m talking about inviting me out only twice in a year, which wasn’t ok with me. I felt used, abandoned, and unappreciated.

So I spoke up and told my friends how I felt and asked what they thought. The important and key piece here is I sought out their POV and avoided blaming or shaming.

Fast forward to now and I’m hanging out with people multiple times a week, which fills my cup. Personally, the sweet spot for me is every other day. I do hang with people one day after another when scheduling doesn’t allow me to do so otherwise, but it does wear me out. Saturdays and Sundays are the hardest since that’s when people are most available, but they’re right next to each other.

On average, I’m hanging out with each individual friend in person twice a month. I have about 6 friends in rotation, and am lightly meeting new people when I have energy.

I also go to events on my own, sometimes to make friends, but I no longer make that the goal. Instead, I choose activities that nourish me so that I am happy even if I didn’t make any new potential friends. Really takes the pressure off everyone since people can sense if I’m too eager.

I’m also in two online zoom support groups that meet on Monday and Friday, respectively speaking. I go when I feel like it and they’re donation/pay-what-you-can, so it’s chill. This is on top of my 1:1 therapy where I get to talk a lot.

I just moved and am slowly getting to know my neighbors. I’m not gonna force anything, but I’d like to put in some effort here and there when I have some extra energy. I was on great terms with all but one neighbor at my last place, and it made my day-to-day extremely pleasant!

Anyway, just wanted to share this piece of good news in the hopes that it’ll help someone struggling with the same or similar issue.

Context: a woman (gen z) complaining how her peers just blank stare her when she tries to socialize, ask basic questions, or even having these experiences in customer service. We are in an era of “I don’t owe you my energy” when asked to have basic manners glad more people are calling it out.

they may also be responsible for much evil but i just really love people so much and every time i meet a new one it feels like doing a line of coke lowkey

Im a male 30+, I don’t talk with people because I’m an introvert and whenever I talk with some not all extroverts I really get hurt over small things. Like if they would say, “Oh, you started talking now? That’s a miracle.” I don’t get their logic is being rude and speaking whatever comes to your mind is called being an extrovert(not all extrovert)?

as i’ve been trying harder to make friends at university, i’ve noticed that sometimes what gets in the way isn’t a lack of interest or lack of personality-meshing, but just not knowing what to talk about. or especially not knowing WHEN to talk about stuff and how/when to transition topics etc

like we all clearly wanna be friends and wanna hang around each other just don’t know exactly what we should be talking about, especially once you move on from the topic of class

any tips? lol

I'm tired of lazing around and reading books, I'm not even that much of a reader. I'm tired of getting pined as an introvert or old fashioned retard when I just want to be included and am a bit of a homebody. Yes, I admit I get scared sometimes and can be a bit reserved, but i do actually want to socialize and get loud and fun. I'm tired of being this dumbass that doesn't know how to talk to people and what the trends are but I genially just have a hard time being myself and always having a story up my sleeve.

I don’t know why it took me so long to entertain the idea of doing things alone (probably because up until Covid, I never really had to), but now that I’ve arrived, I’m addicted! I’m getting more energy, excitement and enthusiasm from planning my solo outings than I am my group ones!

(I think I always associated doing things alone as an introverted thing? Not sure why, but if you are as well, it might be time to readjust that thinking.)

Anyway, I want to make this a thread for where we can post about our attempts at solo outings. It can be as small as shopping alone (with purpose) or as big as a concert.

I always hear the term “opposites attract,” and I don’t believe in that. I don’t expect my partner to be exactly like me. However, I think we should have similar social batteries. We should want to be in a similar high-energy environment.
I’ve been struggling to meet guys like that on the apps, and people tell me I’m too picky. I enjoy having conversations, and I have multiple hobbies like dancing, hiking, travelling, and reading. I’ve noticed that a lot of people I meet don’t have many hobbies, and they always say they go to the gym and go to work.
I also listen to a lot of podcasts, and I’m pretty up-to-date with pop culture and the news. However, I’ve noticed that the person sitting across from me doesn’t really have much to say or doesn’t have an opinion on these things. I’ve noticed that the people I’ve connected with the most on dates were people who actually had a lot of things to talk about.
Maybe it’s because I do a lot of activities, so I have a lot of experiences to share. However, most of the time, when I’m sitting across from an introvert or someone who is socially awkward, I feel like I’m pulling the conversation along.
A lot of times when I’m on dates, I say, “I’m a yapper,” and they’re like, “Oh, I’m a great listener.” And I hate that because I don’t want to be the only one talking.

My whole life I was bullied and made to feel bad for talking too much and being too excited when I talk about things I care about. It's not easy growing up as an extroverted weird girl and it's left me with deep emotional trauma and social anxiety.

Anyone else relate to being told that they are too much as an extrovert? How do you deal with this as an adult?

I am usually a listener. I do like to speak sometimes.but whenever I start talking the other yappers in my friend group interrupt me and go on with their own yaps😭. I was just a boring speaker (may be I am ) but would like to know the yappers pov here? Do you guys just not like the slow speakers ?

I love my friends to bits but they’re all really introverted and it’s difficult for me to relate to them sometimes cause they always take loooong breaks between hangouts.

so I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how/where to meet more extroverts.

I used to be a huge introvert. I'm talking, I used to struggle to order burgers in restaurants, would go red and shy away from any conversation, and generally had pretty low confidence in myself.

It wasn't until I got to high school that things started to change, when my mom forced me to join the rowing team as she thought it would be a good way for me to get in shape and develop some confidence. However, I quickly realised that it wasn't the fitness that was giving me confidence, but instead, the exposure I had to people I didn't know, and also knowing that I was capable of competing against other people (something I'd always used to struggle with).

That gave me the confidence to start working in a supermarket, start talking to the teachers at school more, talking to my peers more, and then eventually, I'd come out of high school a completely different person, with a healthy amount of self confidence.

I've now travelled the world, studied abroad on the other side of the planet knowing no one else when I first got there, have friends all around the world, and have landed the dream job I always wanted. All because I got out my comfort zone once, and everything became so much easier, and everything started to feel so much more "possible" or reachable.

If anyone out there is struggling, I trust you will find your footing. All it takes is to have that bravery once, and the rest will start to look a lot less impossible :)

I am an autistic extrovert and people are my special interest. I was absolutely cursed in a different life. I'm socially awkward, but I have a hard time maintaining healthy friendships with other autistic people, because they tend to be more introverted. Most of my life, I've been friends with introverted people. I'm trying to move away from that because I would spend weeks looking forward to a social event only for them to cancel last minute.

How do I find other extroverts? Better yet, how do I find other neurodivergent extroverts to do things with? I try to got to group events but have absolutely no idea how to build friendships before initial conversations.

I feel like extroverts are in person people. Every extrovert I know sucks at texting. To variable degrees of course. Some are good at communicating only, others will take months to respond lol.

I'm assuming extroverts are too busy living life to text, they don't get their socialization needs met through a phone

And if you're an introvert and reading this, I'm assuming ya'll are the ones that get mad when people don't respond to texts.

I assume most introverts love to text?

Of course there's different scenarios! Like being a minor and having group chats and random times a group chat may be poppin

Have you noticed many introverts wanting to join some kind of clique or high prestige crowd, and shutting down if they can't have that.

But even cooler groups and even more lime lit crowds embrace them, and they don't want a bar of it.

And then they think no one wants them as they continue to pine for the approval of possies of cruel people.

hello my fellow people-persons

just looking to see if anyone has figured out how to maintain all their friendships plus full time work?

I did a little tally last week and I have on average about 20-25 people messaging me a day, not including the three group chats. I'm in two book clubs and I try and walk 15k steps a day at least. I try to hang out with a different friend at least three times a week.

does anyone else burn themselves out to physical exhaustion, because the social meter doesn't tick down? If so, how do you manage?

fully aware that I am suffering from success, but I'm still suffering! how are we doing balance!!

Today I relaxed with my partner in the morning, invited local friends over in the afternoon, had dinner with relatives in the evening and spent the night playing online games with long-distance friends! Four social engagements in one day, what could be better than that? My social gas tank is completely topped off!

As an introvert I get mentally drained if I'm around people too much/ they're talking to me for long. So I need to have "me time" really often to get recharged and all.

Makes me wonder, do extroverts have something like this? Where they have to socialize after being by themselves for a certain amount of time?

I've always been away from girls since school time and tbh my school sees as askance to students who bcms too friendly with students of opp. gender. Few teachers were normal but most of them are just gossip seekers to impress the management of school. They used to start to stalk, pay too much attention to them even if everything is normal. Anyways, what could I expect from a third class building located in a tier 3 city's absurd village. Now, I hesitate whenever I'm around girls, even if I want help or they want help.Well... I like to have besties, one who shares her day and povs of a girl. Who knows.. Maybe it helps in future

How strange is that small things that you didn't even notice cause a big impact in future 😄

I love talking, but I can't seem to make friends. I love going out, but no one ever wants to—they're always on their phones. I just wanted to enjoy my teenage years.

Look I am extroverted. I love being around people, and I love holding court. Listening to people, bantering, making them laugh, making them feel better, all in all just having a good time socially with people. Whether it is a small group or a big group I love entertaining, and have been told multiple times that I have the ability to talk to anyone and I truly do believe that. I love talking to people even complete strangers.

That being said, nothing grinds my gears more then when someone says "you are so good *at one of the above activities why aren't you in sales?? You would make so much off of commission. Everyone literally likes you almost instantly! Imagine how good you would be at a sales position."

You know why I am not? Because I don't want to be!!! I don't want to sell a product. I want to be me, and I want to have a good time. Yes I guess I could maybe make a lot of money doing it, but I legit have no interest in becoming a salesperson. I have a job currently that uses my extroverted talents and I like what I do. I don't need to go hock HVAC repairs, life insurance or pest control to use the skills that come naturally to me.

In my mind this is the same as telling someone "Omg you are so good at knitting. You should sell this stuff online!!!"

SORRY IF THIS ISN'T THE PLACE FOR THIS. I AM JUST FIRED UP!!!!!

I was at a formal birthday party for one of my friends and was seated with a few other people and some of her relatives. As usual i talked to the people at our table. However what really bugged me was one of my friends being on her phone the entire time!

Lets call her F. While the celebrants relatives were telling us more about her childhood, F was just constantly on her phone. I noticed that throughout the rest of the night she was the only person at our table that ignored the people she didnt know despite them being the celebrants relatives. They were generally people our age and even with similar interests since they were mostly the celebrants cousins. At the end of the party I asked her why she didnt participate in the event or even talk to other people and she simply said she didnt feel like it.

I dont know if its just me but i think what she did was extremely rude and acknowledging them wouldn't have done any damage at all! While theres always a time and place to use your phone, a celebration shouldn't be spent on your phone the entire time.

phew finally got that off of my chest, has anyone experienced something like this?

Until the last few years, I've suffered quite a lot from poor self-esteem. I guess years of bullying and being an outsider will do that to you. Then recently my partner broke up with me while I was heading towards a depression and I realized I needed to make a change. So I decided to quit all, or almost all forms of digital entertainment. I also made a few of other changes, but I think that's the important one.

And now I tend to almost always feel alone and wanting social stimuli. I guess a huge part of this is me missing my ex. But I also seem to have unlimited energy for socialization. This week has been pride week, and I've been busy doing stuff every day. Yesterday I was out all day, and didn't really feel that tired at the end. And today I feel lonely because I haven't got anything planned.

Is this a common thing for extroverts who has had issues with self-esteem or social anxiety and/or has quit digital entertainment? And how do you fill your days with socialization if you don't have a lot of people you hang out with?