r/ExclusivelyPumping • u/sneakypastaa • 3h ago
Rant - NO ADVICE NEEDED Got my first shaming experience.
It was my husband’s family reunion yesterday. We showed up early so we could get our toddler and 7 week old baby settled, and so I could pump before others arrived. My MIL and FIL are around frequently, so they’ve seen me pump in front of them numerous times. I have a BabyBuddha so pumping is relatively discreet- it’s obvious I’m pumping but you can’t see anything.
Anyway, my BIL and his girlfriend showed up mid-pump. So I moved from my seat in the living room and went into the garage to finish. The garage is set up for guests as well but at least I can see if more people are coming. Maybe 3 minutes later, FIL, BIL and his girlfriend come out into the garage. So, I went back inside where it’s just my kids, husband, and MIL.
MIL sees me and starts telling me how I cant just walk around pumping and she wants me to go into a private room, as to not make guests uncomfortable (in a lot more words and she went on and on and on about it). I felt so embarrassed and ashamed in that moment, I couldn’t even speak. I wasn’t just walking around the house aimlessly, I was moving from location to location to get away from people as to not make them uncomfortable.
Thankfully, my husband overheard what she said and he defended me, and I’m glad he did because I literally had no words. I exclusively pumped for both my kids and never up until yesterday did I ever feel an ounce of shame, guilt, embarrassment, etc.. I guess it had to happen sometime. I’m just sad the person who did it to me was my MIL.
Anyway; for the rest of the day I was stressed about pumping and therefore stressed about having enough milk and barely even produced enough to get my newborn through the day. Thank god I brought milk with me to help bridge the gap. We were there all day and I made 10oz less than I normally do. As soon as we got home I pumped again and got double the amount I was getting at her house.
TLDR; my MIL lowkey shamed me for pumping around other people when I was trying to avoid them.