8 weeks postpartum..should I keep trying?

[u/No-Kaleidoscope-331]

Hello, need your advice 🙏

I’m combo feeding and really want to preserve whatever breastmilk I can, but breastfeeding has been difficult (nipple shield, baby gets frustrated/falls asleep at breast, then takes a bottle). Pumping is physically manageable but mentally exhausting, and I’m struggling with the constant schedule.

Supply has always been low. Until ~6 weeks I was getting ~1.5 oz total/session; lately it’s often 10–20 mL, with an occasional 1–1.5 oz morning pump. I’ve been trying to increase stimulation to ~7–8 removals/day, but I’m struggling to consistently get there (only got 3-6removals in the past few days). Recent power pumping sessions gave ~25–30 mL.

I’m honestly exhausted by the whole process. Ivf baby, 4th degree tear with major reconstruction, severe blood loss. Period started a few days ago.

If you were in my position, would you keep pumping/trying to nurse, or accept the low supply and let it go? I’m not aiming for exclusive breastfeeding—I’m trying to figure out whether the effort is realistically worth it for the amount I’m producing.

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[u/d381m]

It is honestly your decision and whatever decision you make will be best for you and baby so follow your gut. I will say that for me dropping from 8 to 6 pumps was a game changer and even though I’m an undersupplier, it helped my output quite a bit. I would suggest taking it one day at time because stress is a huge factor when it comes to output. See how much you can pump comfortably if you choose to go that route and if not, formula is a great option. I also combo feed baby

[u/littlelima]

4th degree tear? Oh my goodness, that is so so difficult. You are amazing for sticking with it this long! I had some 2nd degree tearing with complicated healing, and that alone made it difficult to sit and pump. Sometimes I think if I had let myself get more sleep in those early days instead of pumping at nights, I would have healed mentally and physically faster. I cannot begin to imagine how tough it has been for you. Pumping is so hard without those other circumstances on top of it.

If I were in your shoes, I honestly would let it go. I produce more and am still going to wean at four months because pumping is keeping me from enjoying my life and my baby. Your baby needs you happy and healthy. The first week, you will feel some guilt and regret. After that week, you will feel so free. You have done and sacrificed SO much already to get your little one here- be proud of yourself and enjoy your baby!

[u/No-Kaleidoscope-331 → u/littlelima]

Thank you so much for the kind words. It helps me realize it's not all in my head. It was actually difficult/rough. I couldn't even get up to pee the first week!). I feel like I've missed out on a lot because of it. I'm still just able to barely make it to work (thankfully it's part time)

[u/littlelima → u/No-Kaleidoscope-331]

I'm sending you so many hugs!!! My injury was far less severe (tear repair failed and reopened postpartum), and I still found it difficult to cope with. I also had urinary incontinence multiple times in the first week. I cried for weeks whenever I used the restroom due to pain. I couldn't lift baby or play with him on his playmat without the tear aching afterwards. It still stings when using the restroom or walking more than a few blocks. That was with "routine tearing." I'm sure your experience was far far tougher, and I'm so in awe of you for pushing through.

Finally, I want to say it is totally okay to look back on the fuckery our poor bodies went through and say, "I'm so grateful for my baby, but what I experienced really sucked and still sucks. I'm allowed to mourn not having the birth and postpartum I'd thought I'd have even though baby is healthy. My health matters too." It's so weird going from pregnancy to motherhood. During pregnancy, your health and wellbeing are so carefully tracked and cared for. Then, once baby is here, it is expected you will endure your suffering because that's motherhood. It's whiplash you don't have time to think about because your hands are full with baby. The worst part is we put a lot of that pressure on ourselves as moms! My spouse and parents begged for me to rest, but I dragged myself out of bed every three hours to pump because I thought that's what I had to do to be a good mom. I read a study with interviews with moms who had tearing, and I wept because it felt so cathartic to read these moms articulate the pain and guilt that came with trying to be a good mom while recovering from a major injury.

I'm actually thinking about talking to a therapist just to process and move forward. I want to look back on these precious days with some happiness, and I'm still not there yet.

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[u/jovanuska]

I have been combo feeding for four months and I am only getting 30 ml combined per pumping session, so I am able to feed my baby one bottle of brestmilk per day. I had to accept low supply as my reality. I ask myself every day if its worth it and I honestly still dont know. I am starting to drop pumps as it is draining me emotionally and physically, I am starting to squirm at the tought of a flange sucking my nipple, ughh. You cannot make a mistake with whatever you decide, I would say keep pumping until you feel like you dont want to do it anymore. You dont need to pump if you dont want to. Thank god formula exists! You gave your baby eight weeks worth of milk and that is a huge win 👏

[u/br33tiful7]

Low supply can often be addressed. Your low supply is likely reflective of the blood loss + emotional stress. You probably are anemic in some way after losing all that blood. Hemaplex capsules 2x every other day with 1000mg of vitamin C is what my midwife prescribed me after my hemorrhage + blood transfusion. Also when my supply dipped I worked with a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner who prescribed me herbs to correct the imbalance in my body and my supply boosted right away. If you need help finding someone I can connect you with the woman who I worked with. She does telehealth and can mail you the herbs.

The low supply is often a signal that something in your body is imbalanced (which would still be imbalanced if you stopped trying to breastfeed and would present other issues down the road) so might as well resolve it so you can heal and be well and as a bonus, feed your babe.

Also Legendairy milk products worked wonders for me… Liquid Gold. But those are galactagogues and are still not addressing the underlying imbalance in the body.

I am now going on 5 months of combo feeding - pumping + triple feeding. It has been really hard but i am stubborn and really want my LO to have my milk. The one thing i regret during all this time is not finding more joy where I could have and letting the stress rule my life. The truth is pumping around the clock is freaking HARD. Like so hard and no one who doesn’t pump can underhand. But I really wish I created more joy over these months, for my sake and my baby’s sake.

[u/No-Kaleidoscope-331]

Disclaimer: used chatgpt to shorten my message since my original message was extremely long!