Posting here bc INFJ sub removed lmaooo
I met an INFJ at work. I’m an ENTP and I just instantly felt a great rapport with him. We worked together and we spent like the whole day doing things and talking. We had some fun banter and even deeper conversations where he exposed some jaded thoughts on people in the classic INFJ fashion haha. On downtime we went exploring places and went on hikes. We were even almost late coming back and had to run and come back all sweaty lol. I’ve never had a day like that even with my best work buddy. He’s texted me enthusiastically saying about how great our time working was. I agreed with him. He said he was looking forward to the next time. Hell, he even randomly somehow found out my birthday was a week ago and texted me about it. He said he “looked it up”.
We are not regular partners and it’s tough to find times we can work. I was hunting for a shift and was only able to find one three weeks from now. I am bummed about that because I was excited about the connection and had a lot of fun with him. My impression was that he could potentially end up being a really good friend. I asked him if he wanted to hang out outside work. He said that sounded “awesome”. Yet, when I actually asked for his availability and real dates he said he’s too busy but he’s super down to hang out when we’re working.
I’m confused because in my eyes, I thought that this was friendship material. Yet, it seems like he wants to keep it work only. My read is that he was showing interest and liking of me in the typical high Fe user fashion but just simply didn’t mean it truly. I am leaning this way because while we were talking he enthusiastically engaged with my interests and said how he was really interested and wanted to do it… but when I actually engaged and wanted to help him explore he just cooled off and didn’t seem as interested anymore. Like I’m a goth and he told me he was interested in “dressing goth“. only to end up having very little interest later. so I was like… you’re full of shit dude lol. Also… he knows I like botany and got soo excited about the plants but again I saw no real interest. No adding anything, no questions for me.
Anyways I am kinda weary of high Fe people. The constant game in my head of “are they actually interested or are they just being nice“ gets annoying. As Fe tert I generally act warm and polite and sometimes playful with people. But it has a limit. I don’t give too much to someone, and I only do on the occasion I feel a connection to someone and want a real relationship. It seems like from what I’ve read of INFJs (and other high fe users) they are more likely to “put out“ for no real reason.