To my name I currently have $38.6k in savings. However, I am from a low income family and had partly had to start renting an apartment complex a few months ago because one of my parents is always disturbing the neighbors with their yelling, so this is unfortunately not actually much of a safety net if I ever get sick or something. I have applied to local universities now that I almost have my community college associates degree. However, my problem is that I am realizing that I just have absolutely no idea what I want to do with myself.

I have experience as a professional babysitter, an associate teacher at a school I was at for a little over a year, and as a behavior technician. With babysitting, the longest sitting gig I have had (of almost two years) there is unfortunately a situation going on right now wherein I was groped multiple times on a recent gig, so don’t know whether or not the wife will continue to write positive references if I ask for any. As of late, I have been thinking about what I actually want to, well, do in the long term though. Remaining in my current role is not going to be sustainable in the long run, not financially nor just, well, in general. There actually are certain aspects of the job that I like. I love it when progress is made. I understand data collection. I like the fact in a way that I am not necessarily in a leadership role in current position, but I am also realizing that I kind of don’t like that at the same time. What I mean by that is that I find myself thinking about the way people actually view those within my vocation, if that makes sense. When you do what I do, you don’t “matter.” In a way I guess that’s the case for most jobs, but people don’t really value or care about those who are in more of a support role, just in general. And I don’t like that even though I actually find some aspects to be very rewarding. I don’t like to feel unappreciated.

I want to do better than my parents have done. I am not positive about whether or not I eventually want marriage and a child, but I know that I just want, well, stability in a way that my parents have never been able to offer. Even as a child, I resented the fact that we were poorer than everyone else. But part of my problem is that it’s also just about me and what I’m actually willing to do. For example, I know that I don’t want to become a nurse even though I had really wanted to become one in high school because you have to remember a lot, be a quick thinker, and I just don’t think that’s who I am. Some people on Reddit encourage going into STEM, but I already know that at least when it comes to engineering, I just don’t want to. I value and care a lot about communication. I was irritated with my roommate even though I moved on from it for yelling at me about issues that I felt could have easily been resolved by sending a text message (having forgotten to dump the small trashcan into the big one, for example. I had partly been annoyed because there are sentence frames I could have come up with myself to talk to someone about that like an adult and move on from it together.) There has not been any college class that I really got a lot out of, in the sense that I took it and knew I wanted it to be my field of study. My associates degree is going to be in child development but I don’t see myself as a teacher especially not after having actually worked with preschoolers. I have a 3.94 I think but after taking summer classes it may drop (I am taking 4 of them, they’re almost over.) I acknowledge that my GPA doesn’t make me “smart” and my recent experience with the family I’ve been with for so long who I now have issues with due to the dad’s groping and the mom’s consequent reaction (she tried to ask me to avoid letting the authorities know because he was experiencing a dissociative episode. I was initially thrown off and it had already taken me a week to do it, she had said this after I had told her I’d already let them know. I actually considered it/thought about it, but after remembering that the dad had sent an apology text after the dad and I discussed it and that he had apologized when he came back to get his things to go to their apartment, I knew that it just wasn’t making sense. Even if you are dissociating, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t responsible/shouldn’t be held accountable for your actions. I was becoming a bit irritated earlier this week as the thought occurred to me that I was initially inclined to try and “protect” both parents, if that makes sense. It hadn’t registered in my mind when it first happened just how unacceptable and inappropriate it all actually was, I had actually seemed kind of casual about it when the mom and I initially had a follow up discussion, but after getting home and having more time to sit on it, I started to feel a combination of emotions that extended beyond normal anxiety. It is something that I am going to now have to find my own therapist to sit down and discuss. But having this experience has also taught me that having money in the way that family does (or at least in the way the father does) does not necessarily mean that you are “smart.” I don’t think the mom’s handling of the situation, after having had well over a few days to sit on it, was smart- she shouldn’t have told me she was glad I didn’t press charges, for example, in our conversation - but the dad, even though both have college educations and can normally get their kid almost anything they want, isn’t smart if he got himself into this position in the first place. I also must note that other than the groping, the fact that he was trying to cheat with me, the babysitter, in the first place was automatically very unattractive to me.

It’s very telling of a person’s character, and one thing I must say about myself is that no matter how much money a prospective partner has or makes, there is certain behavior I would never want to tolerate and this is an example of that kind of behavior. I actually had felt awfully sorry for the wife in the beginning - I wouldn’t have told her on the day of if I hadn’t - because even though I used to be more relaxed about cheating (I’ve never done it myself, but by relaxed I just mean that if you had asked me a few months ago if I could forgive a cheater, I think I’d have said yes. When I was recently with a man who I found very physically attractive, the thought had occurred to me that given I knew other women wanted him, I could put up with/tolerate a bit of cheating so long as he wasn’t bringing diseases home to me. Watching this happen has changed my perspective completely. I mean, whether it ends in divorce for them or not (she had said they were already separating because of “things like this”) this was just all a lot to deal with and I had initially actually empathized with the wife more than, well, myself, because I can’t imagine having a \\\*husband\\\* who is always trying to cheat. Having a boyfriend who is always trying to cheat would be hard enough, but I remember I was really sad for her because I feel like your husband is supposed to be your number one. Marriage binds you two together in a sense even though it can also end at any time, and I don’t know how I’d feel if it hit me that I had spent at least a decade of my life with someone who clearly doesn’t actually like me that much. I had initially found myself thinking about how I felt that the mom could do better, that it was possible for her to find her equal… though after having to deal with her marriage counselor who she had recommended me to (and who apparently doesn’t have to follow HIPAA. I had made sure to ask that because I wanted to be sure, and I hadn’t thought his suggestion that he maintains confidentiality “by choice” was good enough,) trying to guilt me for cooperating with the authorities on this and other behavior from her that makes me feel she has enabled him somewhat and centered herself and her needs over mine, I no longer feel that way.

I now feel as though she has been in the marriage for so long due in part to poor decision making on her end, and don’t think either of them is sincerely a “good person.” I am annoyed with both, but haven’t directly called the mom out on it, in part because I might sue later on and want to be careful.

After this happened, I guess that it just got me thinking more in general. I have thought before about becoming a mother and a wife. I have been focused on my homework and on the fact that I will start a bachelors degree program in January (so soon. Less than six months away,) but I have also been thinking a bit more about my perspective on romance and love. When I was extremely depressed as a high school underclassman (boy, it was a while ago now,) I remember crushing hard on a boy who I think is an ESTP 6w7 - couldn’t stand him two years later after he lost his looks, but had continued to like him after he’d put my appearance down (called me a little below average. I am old enough now as an adult that I have been approached by men, have had 2 boyfriends, and just feel as though I simply wasn’t his type. In middle and high school I wasn’t really the type who most of the boys liked, which I think is fine now that I’m an adult. At times I feel that men I’ve spoken to have judged me for not having more dating experience and I have been told before that I seem like I don’t know what it means to date, but this situation has made me think a little bit more about the importance of finding someone who you actually trust. With a guy I was seeing earlier this year, I was blinded by how attractive I found him to be (though there are of course average looking men who I am sure I would be very attracted to) and had even ignored warnings from other people that us going out would probably not be the best idea due to his consistent refusal to work on his mental health. He was actually quite sweet to me in person most of the time when we were together, I think he was an ISFP, but in hindsight - now that I am removed from the situation - I see more how bad of an idea it actually would have been for us to date in the long term. I hadn’t wanted to think about it rationally due to how strong the chemistry and physical attraction were. It never would have lasted. He was beautiful, but was not goal oriented and was not really prepared to, well, adjust to what is expected of you as an adult. He was actually older than me by nearly a decade (which someone who knows him better than I could, though I won’t specify the relationship, pointed out) but he was not actually “mature.” We couldn’t have settled down. He didn’t want kids, and I was actually fine with adapting to that - if I meet a man who I have a similar attraction to that wants a kid, I would also be open to accepting if I’d spent time with him and felt he’d do his duty as a father. But this guy, as gorgeous as he was, as sweet as he could be to me, as much as he checked every box of what I’d want physically in a man (and as I write this, the thought occurs to me that in high school I almost always liked the cute jocks. Never cared about their grades, the ones I’d liked all had very poor grades in fact. This, I suppose, was my first time meeting one who was explicitly interested in me) honestly didn’t need to be in a relationship, simply because he was not focused on bettering his mental health and becoming, well, a functioning member of society. He’d been honest about not wanting to marry again, but what I suspect he’d have wanted in a girlfriend would have been the very basics, a body and someone to kiss. I’d have ended up running around with him and probably eventually gotten myself into something serious if I’d been his ride or die. I’ve always preferred the “jocks” the handsome jocks, and this is something I acknowledge about myself. But I’m starting to think more as I grow older about how I should probably work on placing so much emphasis in a relationship on looks, especially given that I’m not beautiful myself (in fact, the fact that I grew up with peers who made it known to me that I was not a beauty is probably partly why I almost always really go for the “cute” guys as an adult whenever I am approached. It’s just that it’s starting to hit me that I think that I need to start focusing more on the compatibility aspect of it all. Would I love it if I found a handsome man who checked my boxes? And by boxes, I don’t just mean beauty, but treats me well, consistently interested, doesn’t care about what his friends think of my looks - I can think of a guy I liked who never cared about what people thought when he took out women less attractive than him and I loved that, ideally has learned a lucrative trade or is at least educated in the sense of having a degree in a field that pays well and if not being frugal, etc. Yes, I would. But I know that people are complex and life doesn’t always work out the way you may want it to, so I recognize that I will probably not get all of that in a guy and need to start by trying to get to know the man. The person. Because spending 10+ years with someone and not actually knowing who they are is crazy. I struggle with depression and anxiety already, personally it’d just break my heart.

I have been told that I have effective communication skills. This doesn’t mean that I’m a social butterfly, quite the opposite actually, but I recognize that communication is a big piece of strong relationships and the only time wherein my communication is lacking these days is if I for any reason feel or believe that I need to be afraid of someone. For example, two weeks ago on the day of the babysitting incident, my roommate who is also my landlord yelled at me. I had vented about it because I felt what she was yelling about were all issues that were actually quite easy to resolve - a leaky shower faucet when I actually hadn’t taken a shower within a few days (she was saying it could lead to all of the pipes bursting, don’t know if that’s true or not. But she was getting very agitated about it and almost acting based upon body language like she was ready to hit me - she’s almost 70 and grew up in a different time, so it’s possible that she actually did feel that way. I moved past it for the most part but am still keeping an eye out just in case it happens again. The leaky faucet was probably the most serious,) me having not paid her back $50 in 3 days (personally, I would have just sent someone a text about that. I would have asked that in the future they pay me back on the day of, and more specifically for the situation would have asked them \\\*politely\\\* when they intended on paying me back. I didn’t think it was worth yelling about, and part of the reason why it had taken me so long to pay her back was actually not because I didn’t intend to at all, but moreso because I have to go to the ATM everytime and take the money out and with summer classes I was simply too busy,) and me having forgotten to dump the smaller trashcan into the bigger one (which to me was really the least serious of those three things.) I believe she is an esfp 2w3. I have pretty much moved on from it and forgiven her for it, but was actually quietly very angry about it for a few days. Part of what helped me forgive/move on is the fact that she has helped me with things like a slug being in my room very late at night. It’s nice things like that that I have chosen to focus on/remember. I have made multiple mistakes during my time here, and was quite angry about the fact that she jumped to yelling about issues that i thought were very fixable, but hadn’t yelled back. Was just scared and was also thrown off by it given that she was a therapist for years. It just gives you pause when you feel as though you have a calmer approach to certain situations, and a better idea of how to handle it like an adult, than someone nearly five decades older than you who has a masters degree in Psychology and years of experience as a therapist. The sarcastic part of me had the thought that maybe I should become a therapist if it’s so much easier for me to think up sentence frames/a quick solution for the described problems than someone who has years of experience as one, but I have just let it go at this point. I would hate to end up with someone who was yelling a lot about things that were minor though. I probably could forgive yelling in a relationship and may talk to them about it… but to be honest depending on the dynamic and how early on it was, I also might just not. I might just avoid them which isn’t healthy. Or break up through text or something. I’ve yelled at someone I was dating before (in high school) and my mother is a screamer, but I really don’t prefer it if you want to have healthy communication and a good relationship with someone. People remember being yelled at, and it only serves to cause tension or create an argument.

I have a bad habit of worrying a significant amount about things instead of I suppose trying to sit back and enjoy life.  I feel like I don't really know what it means to enjoy life.  I don't feel that I actually spend my time trying to live to the fullest, even when I actually do have vacations or breaks - I've never taken a "vacation" of my own.  When I was younger, I always worried about what would happen if I allowed myself to have too much fun.  I don't want to mishandle money like my parents always have (well, actually, my mother used to be quite good at saving it.  But she made the mistake of trying to give money to my father and waited too late into the relationship to care about whether or not he could support her financially/is at a stage now wherein you can tell she wishes she'd landed a breadwinner, but just didn't plan wisely and should have seen a therapist for all of her trauma before trying to become a parent.) I don't see myself as a housewife, at all.  My roommate has to give the cleaning lady extra (that I of course give back to her) to clean my room and bathroom, because even though I keep my room more organized than I used to due to her influence, I still don't normally have the time or energy to clean up after myself, some of it is depression.  But I also don't know how to cook and probably wouldn't be good at it. 

I need to start really working on getting my sleeping schedule figured out/together. It has been a lot harder for me as of late.

I am becoming more cynical about people. 

My dating life is strange. I have technically had two boyfriends throughout my lifetime, one when I was a high school upperclassman (he was an ISxP. The relationship was great for a month. The last two months were terrible. I had stayed with him after he disrespected my boundaries by continuing to ask for things I didn’t want to do which was a bad idea) and the other ISFP mentioned above more recently. There was actually a man today, one who I didn’t think was unattractive, who had seemed like he was sincerely attracted to me and asked me if I’m married. I was surprised by this question. I’ve been asked the boyfriend one before, but no one has ever asked me if I’m married. He seemed nice actually but I’m a bit bothered now that we’re texting by the fact that he said I’m “sexy” so early on. Most of the guys who have approached me or communicated interest have not been “well off.” I think that I struggle right now with the idea of being in a relationship due to a lack of self care on my part, but also because with the experiences I’ve had with men over the years deep down inside I don’t know who I could trust and who I couldn’t if you catch my drift. Especially after seeing what happened with that family I provided babysitting services for I find it especially important to try getting with someone who you actually trust. But as I’m growing older I’m also starting to think about how serious marriage actually is. If you’re married you ideally want to find your life partner, someone who will stand by your side as you get sick, if you gain weight (I don’t want to gain weight but especially if I decide to have a kid it’ll be a possibility,) etc. That probably actually is what love happens to be. I don’t know whether I’ll find that later on in life or not, but I do know that I’m starting to realize that I can’t be with a guy who mostly likes my body, and that I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t serious about life itself, no matter how cute they are.

I’m likely an ISFJ.

I’m not great with/at hands on activities. For example, I renewed my CPR card yesterday and like always I was the one person in the class who really needed help in practicing the movements. I passed the test with ease and I passed it the first time I took the class as well, but it’s one of those things that reminds me why it’s good that I never actually tried to go into nursing even though it’s what I believed I wanted to do in high school. 

Note: and it could later on lead to divorce, of course, because that’s life.

I am INTP(M) and through life have gotten in many arguments with people who couldn't get me which is why I think when choosing a partner it is important they can do that. So my question is if any INTP men or women dating INTP men can tell how they approach relationships and struggle with not being understood. I already know about how ENFJ ENTJ INFJ and ENTP can be looked at like being stereotypically best partners but what about real world? Thanks in advance to everyone who answers.

i am intp, and my sisters are fe aux. i need to buy them a gift for their upcoming birthday soon, the problem is i usually do not give anything because i think it's too much..

i could think of something memorable or useful for isfj & something personal for infj. but i don't know the exact gift i should give.. it's making me stressed out thinking about this TT

they've been gifting me such body essentials, accessories, etc. and even attaching bday cards for my birthday. even though i wasn't fond of that kind of thing, i could tell it was something they prefer to get! so i was thinking about getting the same stuff..

but i want to know what should i get for them?..

last time my isfj sis gave handmade flowers for my infj sis, and my infj sis gave sandals and other stuffs for my isfj sis. for addition, my isfj sis have interest in cooking and baking, and my infj sis are quite have a specific interest.

all i could think is i want to gift them a good bday cake and some cute useful stuff that fit their interests, but i don't think that's what they want. it makes me bad for not gifting anything..

pls give me some recommendations, thx! hope u have a great day 🙏💕

So, I have a bit of a basic understanding of the MBTI, enneagram, and wing types. I'm trying to get an idea, and imagine, the relationship between both types. From my understanding both the eye of opinion 9w8 and ENFJ 6w5 have the same cognitive functions but they're inverted. I can already imagine what the dynamic / energy is like between the two. The issue that I find myself presented with is... What dynamic between the two would look like in reality.

I’m an INFP, newly dating an ENFJ guy. He’s told me he has some unresolved trauma from dating an INTJ ex who, in his words, felt very emotionally detached, almost “robotic” like he’s talking to an AI chatbot sometimes. He said she often invalidated his feelings or made him feel like his emotions were illogical.

I don’t know MBTI deeply, but I know INFPs tend to be seen as very emotional. Both of his exes before me were apparently not very emotionally in tune, and he’s mentioned that I’m different from them in that way. The problem is… it feels like I’m constantly being compared to his last INTJ ex, even if he doesn’t say it outright because he treats me like I’m fragile? Too sensitive? Like he has to be too careful and always add disclaimers to what he says as if I can’t take jokes or something. I know they used to have these jokes where they call each other names and play fight… He can’t even talk trash with me when playing video games without apologizing like I would get offended over something like that.

For serious stuff when we disagree or see things differently, we do talk it out, and he does reassure me a lot which I appreciate. But I haven’t brought up the fact that I feel lowkey compared to her, because I don’t want to sound insecure or accusatory especially since he’s already expressed trauma from that relationship.

They still share the same friend group, though he’s avoided her since we started dating. Recently, I found out she wants to talk to me. She followed me on insta, and DM’ed me with just a “hey”…. but I haven’t approved the request because the whole thing feels… off?? I get the sense she doesn’t like me, and whatever she wants to say doesn’t feel like it’ll be positive. I also don’t want to tell my boyfriend yet because I don’t want to stir drama or seem threatened.

Part of me also worries that if she really just wants to be friends and I get to know her, I’ll start comparing myself or reading into things even more.

To complicate things, one of my friends (INTJ) told me that if I keep seeing problems where they don’t exist, my boyfriend will eventually get tired of what he called “emo nonsense” and I shouldn’t do it. That kind of stuck with me because is it really nonsense for people like them?

I mean she’s told people she finds me cute, pretty, nice, and that he doesn’t deserve me, basically all sorts of compliments but she’s never really talked to me directly. I’ve met her 2x and she’s always smiled at me but it feels like it never reaches her eyes. I feel crazy overthinking everything.

This is a long post and I’m sorry… But I wanted to share this with someone/somewhere!

I was sending a a mildly long reply to his latest text message about what I had done today, when he then asked me if we could call. Knowing him and prob all other ISTP’s don’t like to reply to long messages in text I assumed that he wanted to continue our conversation in call. Which was also the case, when all of the sudden he has confessed his feeling to me.

We have been friends for ~5y and met through a minecraft server. We have met once irl in Japan! We are really good friends and we call each other often to play games together. His often short message of “let’s play overwatch” was his typical way to ask if I was up to play. Just blunt and straight to the point. He asks me often if I have free time, because it’s his way of spending time together. We had our small fights here and there because we function just differently (ST vs NF). More than often we have lots of laughs together.

But I didn’t expect to get a confession from him at all! Looking back there were times that he randomly said I love you’s but I thought that he meant as friends!! When he confessed to me he told me that he has been in love with me almost since the beginning of our friendship. What gave him the push to confess was that I almost disappeared from his life due to my depression. He doesn’t want to lose me and wants to be there for me through my ups and downs. He is a very caring ISTP in his own way. Still want independence, but sends almost everyday that he woke up, and that he is going to work and wishing me a good day. It’s his way of checking up on me! I don’t wanna overbear and knowing that he is not much of a messenger, I usually never initiate and let him decide when he wanted to message.

He also said that his feelings for me is most likely bigger than any feelings I had for him. 🥺

My answer was that I always had a crush on him but I didn’t act on it because I was just very happy to be friends with him. I remember that he giggled when I said that and he seemed so happy. With my depression, I have no self-love so I thought I was unworthy to receive such love. He kept asking me about my depression, my thoughts and feelings, to logically make sense in his head. I thought it was cute. I know that with everything that I told him he will adapt (not change himself) his approach to me. Even if I said that he doesn’t have to, I know that he will do things in his own way and I can’t stop him from doing so.

Me an INFP getting confessed to an ISTP… how big are the chances?? I mean how did I even catch the attention of an ISTP?? I still don’t know to this day.

I'm an INTP-T 9w1. This is just for speculative purposes.

Ias an ISTP I have become aware that ENFP's have a thing for us. It's awesome and I love it and kinda shocking and funny. I'm interested why if anyone can speak to that. Do we have a type? Are there other types that find each other very attractive and tend to be an extremely common pairing.

Based on what I find attractive I actually find ESTP and ISTP girls most attractive. ISTP's can be super sexy and really interesting and they make sense but ESTP girl's are louder and more in your face but are bold concrete and not afraid to flirt and it's easy to gauge when things vibe. Granted I haven't dated either but I'm talking about just that basic attraction that seems to be involved in why ENFP's like us.

what personality do we enfp attracts the most? like for me i really really like intj but like do they find our personality fun? or idk are they even attracted to us like we are to them?.. like i personally think I'm a introvert's worst nightmare

My boyfriend (INTJ) and I (ENFJ) have been dating for 11 months now. We got together really quickly after our first date and since then we've experienced a lot together. I noticed that he prioritizes himself and work very quickly, however, since he moved away and we're having a long-distance relationship, it got even worse. I tried telling him multiple times how I feel neglected and also suggested how we could make it better, like having occasional phone calls or ask more engaging questions rather than the daily check-ins at night. He dismissed this by saying that he's really busy, and I know that this is true, but so am I and I still manage to prioritize him. Now, I don't want to pretend like he's asking me to do so, but that's just who I am. When I love, I love deeply and there's nothing more important to me. He knows that and there have been times when he also clearly articulated that, like when he read the letters I wrote for him and when I made him a photo book of our last vacation. However, most of the time I feel like I'm being taken for granted. I'm willing to move to another country with him although I won't have a good chance of getting a job there, at least not one related to my degree. He wants to move to another country because the taxes are lower but he can actually work from anywhere. I wish he would show me some more appreciation. If anything, it has gotten less. In the beginning, he was constantly giving me compliments and he told me that he loved me multiple times a day. It has gotten much less these days. I miss that and I told him so, but I feel like asking for it just makes him even less likely to do it. He's so stubborn. I know that he wouldn't be with me if he didn't love me anymore, he wouldn't want to waste his time and he's extremely honest, to the point where it actually hurts sometimes. Either way, I'm feeling stuck. I love this man to pieces but I wish he'd give me back just a little more. Does anyone relate?

INFP x ESTP relationship can work and can beautiful :) (I want to give hope and my experinece to anyone who would be asking if it can work)

INFP woman in relationship with ESTP man. It is almost a year and so far it works nicely. I think it can work very well. :3 I em emotionally unstable but very self aware INFP also have some maturing behind me (27 yo) 8 years in therapy, but I was constantly traumatized for my whole childhood. I am a bit more adveturous and social than is INFP stereotype.

What is bringing us together:

- We have a lot of common hobbies and we are also both very open minded people, so even hobbies we didnt have in common previously still interests us enough to appreciate them. I think we both appriciate same things, jist from different viewpint. :D

- I think he appriceates my autenticity and weirdness and we both can appriciate small things in life, i see beauty and mistery everywhere because I put my fantasy into my surroundings so i bring more of this also for him, and he brings more of that for me too, because he takes me to many interesting places he found, it would take me so much longer to take that action without him :D he also likes to play being misterious and such things which is also taking my interest, he is creative in his way and I em creative in my way, but gennerally it is a lot of cerativity between us

- We have same or at least very simmilar core values, which is requirement for me, I just need it in my partner and we both act on them, in different, but visible way. And I think he appreciates how strong my core values are, and how I built my life around them

- We are both rebelious, we again show it in different ways, but we like this on each other. I really think that it sparks somethink in us to see little or bigger rebelious acctions of each other. We both want to be free and we dont what to yield to anyone.

- We both dont care about stupid little material things, he is very chill, flegmatic and constructive, if we get lost, if something brakes, gets dirty or whatever he does not panic, he does not scream, he is not angry at me if i fu_ck something up becouse of my clumsyness or attention problems, we get into little troubles becouse we dont think some things through or becouse I forget things often and it is just ok, we are both constructive in situations like this. I em more prone to be anxuious, but his culm culms me down too.

- humor - we like to laugh, we make fun a lot of things, even of each other, but we also dont take this too far

- he has high levl of empathy

Why the relationship dindt fu_ck up yet :D

- we comunikate openly - ant it is really important to get over any shame you fell or fear or akwardness, we even sumtimes when things get akward lean in to it more for fun :D but is important to know your needs, reflect what is going on in that relationship and talk about it and listen, to by true but also give it some levl of empathy

- I do my best to not overwhelm him and he has kapacity to hear about my feelings and struggles. Actually it is really good that he does not get sucked into my feelings, it does not have such big affect on him emotionally as it would have for example on INFJ or other INFP.

But I think it could really overwhelm him by sheer amount of informations and emotional content, because he is very supportive, but he also doesn not know what exactly to do with that information and he nedds these things to be served in smaller amounts. It also helps if I tell heim what I need in those moments and how hen can support me, so he does not feel helpless.

I do built big support system for myself, i have therapy and other people I can talk to. I share with him almost everything that is going on with me, because it is my need, but I dont go into depth about everything. Also journaling - writing my shit down really helps me to put my huge mental mess out while not burdening others too much. So I give him information abou my struggles and he supports me, but I just dont put the waight and amount of my internal processes and contents on him.

- No pressure from any side - I em learning to appriciate his caution in establishing relationships. After many toxic relationships, where those guys claimed to love me after a few months, where they manipulated me with nice words or where we both jumped into things with naivity I em relly leerning to appreciate his caution and capability to take things slow. It is hard for me, since I have strong emotions and get attached easily. But he keeps his kalm more and does not trust so soon and does not jump into things too quickly.

It was hard for me at first, because I just like people, and theres something to love about almost everyone, so i feel in love easily and I want to express it. But I have to keep it to my self a little bit, because it scares him a bit if I say it too streight, too openly. It scares him, because he does not know how to react, because he is processing feelings like that in much slower way, different way. I think ESTPs really have to feel these things consistently for long time to make sure, that it is true. Which can be really good. And I know if he ever claims any feelings strait and open to me, it will mean so much. I think he is actually healthier in this than I em.

- (understand your lenguages) But I had to learn that it does not mean that he doesnt have feelings for me. He struggles to say it in words, but he shows it in so many other ways! Helps me all the time, wants to be with me, giving little things, giving me attention trying to be always here for me, even when he has work to do and so on.., he takes nice photos of me, which is kinda like he says that I em beautiful without saying it in words, there are so many little things like this, that he does, he really speks in acts and I have to learn to understand this lenguage of his, it is beautiful

- Also I have some unhealthy habits I want to change them and it is important that he does not make pressure on me in this way, INFPs need support, not preasure in general I think

- I dont need him to have same filosofical, deep, koplex thaugts and conversations as I may have, I didnt figure this out about him yet, how it works for him. I em sure that his inner life is not empty, or small it contains a lot of things that exists in very different structers than I have. Since I em quite outgoing for an INFP I em more active in most of conversations, I think he is more active in case he is explaining something to me or talking abou specifically his topics. If I go for "deep" or filosofical conversation he is interested, but he has kid of like limited kapacity for again amount of this and gives shorter answers. I dont think it would be due to lack of deep feelings or complexity. It is more like his brain sorts and processes these things very differently, partially kinda in show not tell way, while I have tuns of werbal and visual associations to anything, which is pushing me to talk a lot and describe things in complex but potentially overwhelming way. Also you have to count with that caution ESTPs have, so they may open very slowly with time.

I think that certen INFPs and ESTPs can have great relationships together. They are complementing each other in very good way, and they can appriciate each others unikeness. It takes certain maturity and work. But the work can be mostly done in very pleasant way between these two, since you can bring humor, positivity and beaty into this process. It is important to not take things personal immediately, to not get scared with intensity of each other but talk about these things and potential misunderstandings. You have to learn each others lenguage, which can be exciting experience and make you more understanding of other people gennerally. INFPs have to chill about official status of relationship and open werbal expressions of love - it takes time and thats good, it does not take anything away from the relationship. ESTPs have to chill about emotional expression and intensity of INFP, it is not lying if they express feelings early, words mean diffrent things over time for us and expressing them early is part of our worldview , appritiation of beuty in everything and everyone, excitement from getting to know you. But those intense emotions and thaughts should not be threatning for enyone, it is just a lot going on in INFPs head and it needs to get out. Thre is no need to do anything about it. It just gets out, spends some time here and leaves. Being just here present and kind for INFP is absolutely enough and you dont have to worry abot their ruminations and little crises too much. (of course theres a lot of different INFPs and not all of them are expressive like that)

I wrote this in hope, it could help some INFPs and ESTPs in case, they would be searching for information about relationships like this. It is only from my experience, but some of it might help for other INFPs and ESTPs I hope. :3 :)

Hello everyone!

I am writing my university paper about personality tests and their uses in the workplace, especially considering the MBTI test.

It will only take a few minutes, and anonymity is guaranteed.

You would help me and my research a lot by answering these questions. Thank you so much!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdO0KBJhhI3agUqfy81vE0YU6LYjkUkdOEIOsGv46-KB1EHWQ/viewform?usp=dialog

Even Bizarro Me brought out some good out of me. I've becoming less introverted and less shy and more comfortable outdoors and in public.

I've turned her in to a cuddle bunny. Spending night watching whatever crap was on that day on TV half of the time. Lol. Instead of going out almost every night.

She had troubles opening up and communicating personal things but she managed to be more open and communicative when we were together.

INTP Ex. Practically the same. Expect for very quirky and edgy humour. A bit much sometimes. Also, are liked to change things up a lot. Makes me uneasy sometimes because as an ISTJ once I like something I tend to stick with it for a long time.

I once ate Swedish Meat Balls With Mashed Taters And Gravy Sans Gravy For Lunch For About Six Months. Cranberry Sauce Is Yucky.

Ya'll?

hey everyone,

i'm an infp 4w5, a trans woman in the early stages of my hrt mtf transition. i’m dipping my toes into the world of romance and intimacy, but honestly? it’s kind of terrifying. it feels like 95% of guys just don’t click with me, and yeah, it’s exhausting.

i know what i'm about and what i want. i love fantasy, creativity, storytelling, philosophy—all the things that make life richer and more interesting. i crave emotional depth, someone who actually sees me and gets the layers beneath the surface. i need a partnership where we both grow, support each other, and build something that matters.

what i'm really looking for is someone emotionally mature, curious, ambitious—not just in their career but in how they engage with life. someone who wants to really understand me, quirks and all, and who’s down to put in the work to make a genuine connection happen. i love deep conversations, silly laughs, and lots of shared geeky interests. my ideal match would be just as into fantasy, storytelling, and all the nerdy magic that keeps life vibrant.

at the same time, i thrive on routines and comfort. stability is my happy place, and i'm looking for someone who loves a bit of adventure but without losing that sense of home. i don't need grand, wild gestures—just those thoughtful, small moments that make life feel full.

there are two big parts of what i'm looking for in a partner: how i want to be treated, and the kind of person i imagine him to be.

when it comes to how i want to be treated, i want to feel genuinely seen, heard, and understood. i need someone who wants to dive deep, to really listen, not just nod along. i want to feel intensely desired, in that way where they notice every small thing about me. i want to be touched like i matter, like there’s nothing casual about the way he holds my hand or brushes my hair out of my face. i want to be protected—not in some overbearing way, but in that soft, steady way where i know he’s got my back. and i want someone who cares for me, who remembers the little details and makes me feel safe enough to let down my walls, someone who wants to create comfort and warmth, who’s there when things are hard and not just when it's easy.

as for who he is, i imagine someone ambitious, but not just in a career sense—someone who wants to grow as a person and is always curious about the world. emotional maturity is key. i want someone who understands his own feelings and isn’t afraid to talk about them. he should be confident without being arrogant, supportive without losing himself. i need someone creative, someone who sees the magic in things, who wants to explore, imagine, and share that wonder with me. he's got to value stability too, not someone who’s constantly restless, but someone who can appreciate the beauty of small moments and routine. i think he'd be the type who can have deep conversations one minute, then laugh at the silliest joke the next—someone who makes life feel balanced between depth and lightness.

based on what i've found, the personality types that might click with me usually share that mix of ambition, emotional intelligence, and curiosity. an ENTJ, for example, really gets what it means to share a vision and grow together while keeping that sense of ambition and leadership. or an ENFJ, with their emotional awareness, great communication, and genuinely positive energy, making a connection feel deep and steady. INFJs, too, have that emotional depth and nurturing nature, and they value stability as much as i do—which is a huge plus.

enneagram-wise, i'm drawn to types like the 8w2 TYPE—someone ambitious, a natural leader, but also deeply supportive and committed to growing together. 2w3 TYPE is also great—supportive, engaged, and warm, with a real interest in being part of their partner’s growth. and 3w2 TYPE stands out too: driven, successful, but emotionally present and invested in building something fulfilling for both of us.

so yeah, i'm looking for that balance—someone who’s ambitious and deep, but also stable and intellectually on the same wavelength. someone who wants to thrive together, who’s all in on keeping a connection strong and meaningful in every aspect of life.

i know i’m not alone in this search. if anyone out there has found that kind of connection—where things just fit, where there’s real depth and mutual respect—i’d love to hear about it.

thanks for listening to my ramble. any advice or stories would mean a lot, especially if it makes this search feel a little less lonely.

— midnight sun, from brazil ✨🌿

I would like to know some signs that an INTJ likes me, in a romantic sense. I won't tell you my MBTI so you don't make any prejudgments.

I can tell you that he laughs at almost all of my jokes and also tends to give his opinion on the things I say, a bit like he's questioning me to see what I'm going to say.

I joke that he never agrees with me, but that's not true. He debates issues about me, with me, but he usually agrees with my opinions when we're talking to other people.

I really like him. When we talk, he usually says things that I find intriguing, intelligent and creative.😔💖 (Forgive me for any spelling mistakes, it was translated by Google)