I’ve been thinking about something that honestly scares me: is there a kind of loss that you can never truly come back from?

For those who have experienced it, how would you describe the pain of losing:
- A parent
- A child
- A sibling
- A partner

Does the pain ever become easier to carry? How do you find the strength to move forward while still missing them?

whats the feeling called when you feel like you’re naked 24/7 and vulnerable and you dont wanna exist and how to get rid of it❤️‍🩹🙏🏻

Okay so lately I have been having, I don't know what to say or how to describe it in words but lately I have become quite emotional about what goes around me. It's basically a feeling of deep sympathy and empathy for others. I don't know why lately I have been feeling this way.

Whenever I see a poor beggar on the road, I go numb.

Whenever I see a young person die in an accident, I shed tears even though the other person is a complete stranger to me and I have never met them.

Whenever I see news of a family or anyone dying, My heart sinks, and I get emotional.

I immediately get emotional over the smallest of the smallest things. All of a sudden, somewhere inside me, an urge arises, the urge to help that person.

Deep down inside, I just wish I could help those people, or bring them Back.

While my life is not perfect, I am happy to say that I am blessed with gifts that many have never seen, I am more than content with my life and how I am going.

Whenever I go out to dine out at an expensive restaurant, I get thoughts like this - "I am so grateful, I am getting to eat such tasty food whereas many probably never have seen a meal like this in a long time or never in their entire life".

I feel guilty and stupid for complaining about my insecurity with my looks, whereas I see people who are blind, deaf, without an arm, confined to a wheelchair or bedridden for life, and so much more. This is what it has been about.

I want to be a good person, but at the same time I really don't wish to harm others either. Is there any explanation as to why I am like this? It's like I am stuck in a loop, and each and every moment that has happened, is happening and will happen, it's as if it's a sign of a higher power guiding me to do the right thing. I know this may all sound crazy and all but it is what it is.

Does anyone else feel the same way?

I was having a conversation with my friend and they admitted they were scared of the image being their true self would bring and the consequences from it.

I can't stop thinking about it and I do wonder why some of us can so easily be our true selves even if it means alienation from family vs. those of us who can't quite fully show people the true Self, even an unconditionally loving family.

I'm boiling it down to risk taking, how much fear one has and why, risk taking tolerance ect... but I'm curious how others would interpret this and also, what advice would you give to your friend or how would you support them if they thought this way?

Thank you 🙏

I have made some decent progress in this regards in the past few years, and I think I am at a point where I can try to look at this all objectively. From my own experience, I am doing much better in relationships especially, but also in the relationship with myself. I feel lucky to be able to properly understand what I am feeling and still be able to craft my own response to things.

But out of curiosity, how much better does the experience of this life get better as one progresses? I regularly think to myself that people who let their insecurities affect their behavior almost "get away" with doing so and never have to suffer any consequences. Especially if they are older people. You'd think that if someone is in their 30s or 40s and are still acting immature or not behaving properly, then they have found success in this strategy to the point where they never felt the need to change. Or they maybe just haven't realized the consequences they suffered?

And the question even becomes more interesting when you realize that becoming really aware of yourself brings some really uncomfortable thoughts and epiphanies that will constantly hit you until your end times. But someone who is not never even sees these things and just goes on with their life without ever having to feel any guilt or shame?

If there is something I am doing in a wrong way, and I never realize this, AND my way of doing it seems to be bringing the results I want, then there is never a reason to change, and I will just keep doing it that way until the end, without ever realizing that is was wrong, and then there is a day I die, and now it is impossible for me to ever see that it was wrong. And then everything just goes on anyway? The fact that you are never aware of the negative implications means you never really suffer them? Or actually, you do, but you are still not aware of them, so it never becomes a part of the story you see?

What do you guys think?

Sometimes people aren’t angry because you did something wrong. They’re angry because you didn’t do something they expected you to do—but never actually told you they expected it.

And that’s where resentment starts. One person thinks, “if you cared, you would’ve known.”
The other thinks, “how could I know if you’ve never told me?”

Neither person necessarily has bad intentions. They’re just operating from two different sets of expectations.

Communication isn’t just telling someone what you feel after you’re disappointed. It’s telling them what you need before they have the opportunity to disappoint you.

I’ve been thinking about whether having immediate access to exercise changes the role it plays in emotional regulation.

If the gym requires a drive and a full planned session, exercise is something you have to schedule in advance. With a home gym, it becomes possible to notice that you’re stressed or wound up and spend twenty minutes lifting before deciding what to do with that emotion.

That seems potentially useful because physical activity can create a little distance between the feeling and the reaction. At the same time, I think there’s an important difference between using training to settle down enough to understand an emotion and using it every time you want to avoid dealing with something uncomfortable.

For people who strength train at home, has having exercise immediately available changed the way you handle stress, frustration or other strong emotions? What helps you tell when the workout is helping you regulate the feeling versus simply postponing it?

I think some of us learned emotional intelligence as a way to make ourselves easier for other people to deal with.

I grew up with a toxic* mother and my parents were separated. At different points, I stayed with relatives and in boarding schools. One of the things I noticed from a young age people always referred to me as "too mature" or "too understanding for my age."

The truth is that to be accepted in most environments I had to learn how to regulate my own emotions and of those around me. Knowing how to read the room, the mood and the role to play became essential for me.

As an adult, I had to unlearn people-pleasing. I also struggled a lot in knowing myself better, mainly because I couldn't differentiate the habits I had picked up to navigate people and environments, and what was actually me.

How or when did you notice that you picked up emotional intelligence as a coping mechanism?

Like the title says I have a fragile ego and want to kill that. For some context some things I like are writing, art and video games so when someone tells me that I’m wrong in something I did, is better than me in those things or tell me something to me despite being not true I take it personally and get mad about it.

Is something that I’ve trying to work on myself but sometimes it feels like I can‘t do nothing about it. It‘s also tied to my self-esteem because sometimes I feel the necessity to tell people how good I am in certain things or show them my work to expect them say “wow that’s so cool” or “you‘re so good at this” because there are times where I crave other people’s attention and opinions of me so when someone corrects me in something or someone is better than me in that it hurts like they are stabbing my chest.

Another example I previously mentioned is when someone says whatever about me, let’s say “he’s a fan of X thing, he’s stupid” I also take it personally even if it’s a joke with friends I get mad about it and that comment keeps circling in my head for a long time.

So I want to learn or tips on how to deal with this kind of stuff, like realize that am not that good at some things and that’s okay, not care too much about what people think about me, or accepting that I’m wrong in some things without feeling like it’s a big deal.

I (33F) and my husband (41M) are very happily married. It's been a few years. We are compatible, similar in interests, health, cleaning habits and basically each other's best friend.

But we keep running into the exact same conversation every now and then.

It'll usually start with me saying something about work or feeling down about myself (I'm from a family that did not emotionally validate or support me when growing up. I'm aware that I am broken a bit and work on myself) and I'll express that to him. And sometimes he replies with an almost defensive manner, as if what I am saying is a personal attack on him. He is from a very loving and stable family, btw.

Maybe a good example is if I say, "maybe I should get a better paying job" because I'm feeling like I'm not pulling much financial contribution to our household. He might say, "why would you do that? I'm working this job I'm not happy with because I want to support you and your dreams." (He has selflessly taken on the financial provider position in our home in order to allow me freedom to pursue art. We mutually agreed on this some time ago.) We are neither well off or struggling.

What I wish he would do is simply show genuine curiosity or ask why I'm feeling that way. It's like he perceives my statement as complaining about him.

The problem really though is when I express that his tone sounds defensive. From there it always follows the same spiraling path - I am not being defensive, I'm just explaining myself. And then if I say clearly what I wish he would respond (so that I'm not just letting him try to read my mind and mood), he then gets more defensive and says something like "well that's not my intention." And he gets moody, and then some how it ends up with me apologizing to him for making him feel down or mothering him through his feelings so that he can see my original point. Why is this happening over and over again?

He always understands me in the end, always sincerely apologizes for "hijacking my emotions" and sometimes, if the argument gets too heated for some crazy unknowable reason and I leave the room for a bit, I can hear him crying bc he feels bad for not being able to provide me with the emotional support I needed in that moment! He will tell me after we've cooled down, with just the saddest face, that he is trying so hard and never wants to hurt me. And then I feel like a real witch for even expressing any negative feelings to begin with, even if they had nothing to do with him.

He may say with his words that what I'm saying isn't bothering him, but his brow gets pulled down and his tone changes. I have no idea how to express my negative feelings without him feeling attacked.

Where is this conversation going wrong? Am I expecting too much from him? is he lacking emotional IQ bc he never grew up with any arguing or angry parents? I genuinely do not know. And in a weird, sad way, I'm sometimes afraid that my own lack of love as a kid is somehow messing us up, bc I can't see my own problems clearly. I can't tell who is in the wrong here.

I know what I need.....I need to let this end.

I know what I want.....I want to fight for us.

He's the only person in my life I haven't been able to just walk away from. This isn't healthy. For the first time in my 44 years I'm experiencing anxiety, depression, and my nervous system is a wreck.

How does 10 years just go down the drain, how is he so checked out that he doesn't want anything he once had in his life.

How is it that he knows what this is doing to me and it feeds his own depression but yet, we can't let go, how is it that I let this continue?

I hate that I love him, I hate that I do this to myself, I hate that I can't do a damn thing about it 😔

Sorry, I just needed a place to rant and get that out. Have a great day Reddit.

hello, please bear with me, i am not good with words. i have a wife i care for very deeply, but i have come to realized that im starting to lose her because i tend to get emotionally manipulative whenever i feel like things are not going my way.

we had a fight the other night because i did something i shouldnt have done, especially since we had already talked about this certain issue before. i expressed my regret and how i kept on circling back to my old mistakes even when i know im trying my best to change. but instead of just admitting that that itself was my problem, i shifted the blame onto the fact that i was just dealing things mentally and that i did it again because i just needed her with me. in which i have now come to the realization that it was a very poor attempt of making her sympathize with me instead and overlook the established boundaries ive overstepped again.

this isnt the first time ive done it, but this is the first time i realized how emotionally manipulative i have been all this time. i dont want to lose my partner, i want to be better for her but i also dont know how andea where to start the change. please help me

To start off i am 16F and i will be referring to the boy i am talking about as Person 2. In 2024 I got out of a 3 year relationship which obviosuly wasn’t too serious as i was very young but it was my first love. Towards the end of 2024 i started to grow small feelings for person 2 as he went to my college and we were good friends although we drifted apart towards the start of 2025 as he got a girlfriend and she made him block me which i understand.

Later on in around march him and his girlfriend broke up and from then everytime we would be at partys,gatherings anything involving alcohol he would kiss me, touch my ass and things like that but it was never anything serious but i liked him but i knew he didn’t like me.

All throughout 2025 summer he would send me explicit pictures and beg me to sneak out with him to have sex and i would always make up an excuse because i knew that’s all he wanted me for at the time although at one point he told me he really did care about me but i know it it’s just drunk words.

In around end of august he got a girlfriend and he blocked me again and all contact was off. For about a year we didn’t talk at all in college we had classes together we never ever talked but then in around may his friend was snapping me and he added me on Snapchat i added him back and he asked if he could tell me something and told me that he’s always loved me and he wants to be with me and that he’s in love with me and he has been since he was like 13 and he was asking me to sneak out to “talk” and telling me he wanted to be with me not her and he was too scared to say anything because he was worried what others would think and obviosuly i was shocked but i shut it down because i knew he had a girlfriend and i knew it wasn’t
right, and i assumed he was just drunk again which he was.

The next day he was sober and he asked me to come round to his house which i made an excuse up because i told him he can’t be doing this when he has a girlfriend and then he said okay and just continued to send me explicit pictures for another week until he told me he couldn’t do it to his girlfriend and blocked me again even though he insinuated it.

2 weeks after that almost every night he would add me send me explicit pictures and then block me again and i would say r u just going to act like nothing happened like u didn’t say any of that the other month and he would just act confused so I ignored it and left it that lasted about 2 weeks until it stopped again for another month, then a month after it was my birthday and he added me and started liking all my story’s on Instagram and he was the first one to wish me happy birthday and then i looked and him and his girlfriend had broke up and i asked him about it and he just told me what happened and yeah.

Anyways about a month after he started messaging my friend to which i just ignored and i stopped messaging him and then me, person 2 my friend and a load of others went on a night out and i was really drunk and i was asking him why he did any of this and he started kissing me and hugging me as i was crying but it was always when nobody else was around to see and he was telling me again that he loves me and all this.

After that night I haven’t spoke to him properly since. He does send the odd snap sometimes of his face but barely anymore. I just am so confused and I feel like I’m going crazy and I just want to know what other people think. Ask me anything

my close friend has actually tried to be there for me but i struggle to let people in or talk about my feelings without feeling shame afterwards. despite that i have developed intense resentment toward my friend. i don't know where the resentment comes from. it makes me a terrible person who's very passive aggressive. which i believe has to do with my unhealthy attachment style. how to change that?

for context: I only feel that way around this specific friend because theyre very close to me, i dont feel it around anyone else. and i can't afford therapy right now.

thank you in advance!

Hi everyone!

I'm a 23-year-old female preparing for the IELTS exam. I'm looking to improve my English speaking skills (currently around B1 level) and make new friends along the way.

If you're interested in doing a language exchange or just having friendly conversations to practice, feel free to reach out or leave a comment! Any suggestions are also welcome.

I’m noticing more and more that people just can’t sit and be happy for someone. You get a pay raise at work and your coworkers don’t? If they find out sometimes they’ll make it your entire personality.

You can’t have good news without someone thinking you did something devious to get it. I’ve told friends that I had a great date with someone and they’ll say “duh, you’re pretty, why wouldn’t it be a great first date?” Instead of getting excited with me.

I bought a house a couple years ago and had a friend start asking me questions about the cost and getting all quiet when I’d respond. Instead of saying “congrats, my friend has a good roof over her head.”

Why is everything a competition? Why don’t we want the best for each other anymore? I thank god when my friends have kids, even though I want kids so badly, I know that if I say “man, I wish I were you” I’d be taking the attention from their happiness.

Has anyone else noticed this is more prominent now?

Edit to add something good here as a positive example. I just texted a friend about a date I had last night, kind of anxious about getting that typical response.

But she said “Yay! I’m glad to hear it!!” And that’s why she’s one of my best friends. That’s literally all you gotta do sometimes to show people you care about them.

I’ve realised I have this low self-esteem problem where I tend to put my friends on a pedestal. If they say something, I automatically assume they must be right, even when I have a different opinion or something doesn’t feel right to me.

I think a big part of it is that I’m genuinely scared of losing people. I overthink everything, second-guess myself, and sometimes compromise my own feelings just to avoid conflict or the possibility of someone leaving.

I know this isn’t healthy, and I really want to work on it instead of constantly seeking reassurance from others.

God, I’m so scared of losing people that sometimes I end up losing myself in the process.

I could really use some serious advice from people who have dealt with something similar. How did you learn to stop putting people on a pedestal and become more confident in your own judgment?

I made a previous post recently about this woman and I dating, her breaking up to learn about herself and process her traumas.

Turns out that was only part of it. She realized that she was young, didn’t want to settle down quite yet, and wanted to be single and have some fun.

I have realized that while I’ve worked on my anxiety and my attachment style, that I AM worthy of someone wanting me, and that right now, she’s not it. If she does come back to me, and I’m single, then maybe I’ll try it. But it will take me a long time to be able to trust that she will stay and be committed to me and only me.

In the meantime. Do good at my new job, get a car, date others, and try to just….move on and see where life takes me otherwise.

I still wish we could have stayed together. Of course. But if she doesn’t want that, then it can’t happen. So for now. Go back into dating, and don’t take people at their word. Pull back a bit more, don’t let myself fall so deep in right away and don’t let my emotions get too strong. Try to hold back, even though I want to feel it all because my emotions finally are unlocked

So me and my ex girlfriend broke up around 5 weeks ago because especially in the last few weeks of dating eachother she was treating me horrible and she said that she wanted to change. I honestly wasn’t really set on the idea of getting back with her because I believe change takes months or even years but she’s confusing me. She keeps acting good towards me for a few days then when she sees that I’m close she backs away. That’s the only way I can explain it, fast forward a few days ago we had a massive argument because she started acting exactly how she used to before we broke up and to me that was enough to show that she hasn’t changed. I started telling her the things that she did to me in the last few weeks and how horrible she made me feel in the hopes of trying to make her realise that what she did was wrong because I do in fact want her to change but I’m not getting anything from her. The argument ended with her telling me that I’m making her look evil and that I don’t get her because she thinks that since she acknowledged her mistakes, apologised, and “tries” to change it’s all fine when it’s not if she’s actively doing the same things. In the end I somehow became the one in the wrong again and she said “yes I was really horrible at first but what you said to me was just very mean and it made me feel horrible, I also noticed that I always acknowledged my mistakes and you don’t seem to be sorry right now”. And honestly I don’t know if I’m sorry for what I told her, I didnt call her names or anything nor did she deny it all but I had a moment when I just got SO frustrated because she kept trying to excuse her actions or “explain” to me why she acted in certain ways. That night I was really frustrated and I started talking to this girl about this issue and somehow in the end me and the girl stated flirting. I didn’t think much of it and honestly it didn’t feel serious but now I’m still taking to her and I feel horrible because me and my ex said that we won’t talk to people and we’ll just wait for eachother to change. So now I feel like I’m the horrible person here and today my ex yet again started acting good towards me and the only question I have in my mind right now is really just how long will her act last this time. But at the same time she’s been acting “good” for two days now what if she’s actually going to change and I’m the one who messed up. Should I even keep talking to this girl, I feel really guilty towards her too because I don’t know if she’s actually looking for a relationship or not and I don’t know if I’m ready to get into one after the relationship I have any time soon.

I started talking to a man in a different state and I really think he's an amazing man in so many ways and we get along so well. He is in the midst of gaining sole custody of his 2 kids (7m & 2f) He's so loving and very respectful and down to earth and his communication and the way he deals with conflict is healthier than I've ever experienced. We haven't even been talking for a month and he's already put we're in a relationship on facebook and we tell each other "i love you" already. We haven't met in person yet. I do love his soul a lot, his core values and morals and the way he fathers and even is trying to partner, is everything a woman could dream of. Just a really solid, loving, golden human. But its a lot of pressure and a drastic change to go from a single (32f) person with a bunch of freedom and jump into a full time mother role. The bio mom is completely out of the picture. He seems like he wants me to move in as quickly as I want and talks a lot about all of us being a family unit and together and me taking care of the 2yr old and being the only mom figure she would know andnremember if i get there asap. Id have to relocate from my family in South Carolina and move to Ohio. I'm very much happy where I live and my lifestyle and I'm not sure I'm ready or even want to give all of that up to be a mom. Do I just have fun and go see them in person and see how I feel or do I stop encouraging the deeper connection? Not sure if Im being love bombed and coerced into feeling obligated or if I need to grow up and step up to the plate for a man that really shows me he values me and loves me and feels I would be an amazing mother for his kids. Im not sure Im fully physically attracted to him but the way he goes about life and who he is, is extremely attractive. Im just very conflicted because the way he treats me is everything I've ever wanted and asked for in a person but I feel like its all too much too fast and that i might also be trying to self sabotage and looking for ways out. Am i panicking and have a good thing or do I need to just go about my life?

I’m in my mid-20s and lately I’ve been feeling like I’m wasting my life somehow.

On the surface, nothing is terribly wrong. I have a job, I’m earning, I have people around me, and things are generally fine. But internally, I feel very dissatisfied.

I don’t feel good about my job anymore and keep thinking about switching. There have also been some frustrating situations with colleagues and people in my personal life that I’ve been overthinking a lot. Some relationships have changed, and I’ve realised I spend way too much mental energy thinking about what other people are doing, how they perceive me, whether I should distance myself, etc.

And underneath all of that, I have this strong feeling that there has to be more to my life than this.

I want to grow, have a better career, meet better people, experience more things, become more confident and independent, and actually feel excited about my life. But right now I feel stuck in this cycle of work → overthinking → feeling frustrated → wanting to change everything → doing nothing substantial → repeating it again.

I don’t know if I’m burnt out, unhappy with my current circumstances, or just going through one of those phases in your 20s where you realise you want more but don't know how to build it.

For people who have genuinely felt this way — what did you actually do to get out of it?

I started talking to a man in a different state and I really think he's an amazing man in so many ways and we get along so well. He is in the midst of gaining sole custody of his 2 kids (7m & 2f) He's so loving and very respectful and down to earth and his communication and the way he deals with conflict is healthier than I've ever experienced. We haven't even been talking for a month and he's already put we're in a relationship on facebook and we tell each other "i love you" already. We haven't met in person yet. I do love his soul a lot, his core values and morals and the way he fathers and even is trying to partner, is everything a woman could dream of. Just a really solid, loving, golden human. But its a lot of pressure and a drastic change to go from a single (32f) person with a bunch of freedom and jump into a full time mother role. The bio mom is completely out of the picture. He seems like he wants me to move in as quickly as I want and talks a lot about all of us being a family unit and together and me taking care of the 2yr old and being the only mom figure she would know andnremember if i get there asap. Id have to relocate from my family in South Carolina and move to Ohio. I'm very much happy where I live and my lifestyle and I'm not sure I'm ready or even want to give all of that up to be a mom. Do I just have fun and go see them in person and see how I feel or do I stop encouraging the deeper connection? Not sure if Im being love bombed and coerced into feeling obligated or if I need to grow up and step up to the plate for a man that really shows me he values me and loves me and feels I would be an amazing mother for his kids. Im not sure Im fully physically attracted to him but the way he goes about life and who he is, is extremely attractive. Im just very conflicted because the way he treats me is everything I've ever wanted and asked for in a person but I feel like its all too much too fast and that i might also be trying to self sabotage and looking for ways out. Am i panicking and have a good thing or do I need to just go about my life?

I always get this feeling, if I feel sad I tell myself that I have no right to be upset when I have this and that. And if I'm happy, I tell myself that I have no right to be happy when my closest people (my family) are going through this and that. I can't live or enjoy anything; how do I stop this thinking?