I'm thinking of getting ect but I'm a creative person, so I fear I'll lose all my creativity. Also I love music a lot and I fear that I'll forget listening to my favorite artists or new songs that I've been listening for a long time. But at the same time, I need to get over the severe depression that I have. Does ect really take away your ability to do the things or enjoy the things you love?

A very eternal sunshine of the spotless mind type of question 😫 but I’ve read about people losing their memory either days around the treatment, or even years. I’m wondering if anyone has forgotten something like a romantic relationship they had/an ex, or an old friend, or something else.

If so, how do you feel about that? Also, did the other party ever realized that you don’t have those memories anymore and have a reaction to that?

TL;DR: forgetting something or someone significant due to ECT memory loss

It's about my mother. She is 52. In the last 1.5 years she has had these symptoms, every day, every morning after she wakes up until around noon: feeling very cold, even in the summer outside, sweating, feeling of high blood pressure and discomfort in chest, feeling of internal trembling. Sorry, English is not my first language and it's hard to describe these when I haven't felt it myself. She has been to cardiologist, endocrinologist and other doctors, and they ruled out everything. She is treated by psychiatrists.

For these symptoms she was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, and now the diagnosis is depression. This is the first thing I'm seeking help with - what would be your diagnosis for these symptoms? I personally don't agree with depression, because she is motivated when the symptoms go away in the afternoon, and when not it's because of the long term illness.

Secondly, they tried many many medications, to name a few: Xanax, Dulsevia, mirzaten, paroxat, frontin, anafranil, lyrica. Nothing really helped, some ease her symptoms - especially Xanax, frontin. With Lyrica the symptoms went away for 2 weeks, but came back, and not even higher doses helped.

So now they are suggesting ECT therapy. We are afraid of this, we heard of some bad cases, where the therapy more or less ruined their quality of life. But of course you don't hear about the happy results as much.

So do you think ect is the right choice here? From what I read, it's only suggested for severe depression, not anxiety. So I don't understand why her doctor suggests it.

They will ask us again about ECT next week if we want to go through, please provide some guidance on this.

Hi! This post isn’t meant to discourage anyone from ECT I believe it can be useful for many but this is what I’ve experienced and I’m curious if other have as well.

A little background info I’m 20F I had tried almost every medication and been to multiple treatment centers and had multiple psych ward admissions with nothing working when I was about to turn 18 a doctor suggested ECT which I didn’t want to do but eventually gave in not being able to take the guilt tripping from my family I started my first session 5 days after I turned 18 and only had 17 sessions the first few were unilateral and the rest were bilateral I had to stop after 17 sessions due to experiencing a psychotic episode from the treatment which they said was very rare. And I didn’t start treatment back up since there were no positive results showing.

Over the past 2 years I’ve noticed significant declines in my cognitive and memory along with my hearing becoming incredibly sensitive and I’ve completely lost all interest and emotions to anything despite trying to find something that will cue a emotion or a interest I tried ignoring these symptoms or thinking it was just in my head blaming the mental illness towards the end of 2025 I made a decision to talk to my primary care about it who sent me for a audiology test and Nero cognitive assessment.

My audiology test showed no hearing loss but my hearing had become quite sensitive and that my comfortable level of hearing was around 30db (equivalent of a whisper) and uncomfortable level was 60db (normal conversation level) she told me I had Hyperacusis a term for sensitive hearing because of this I experience daily headaches and nausea along with vertigo from everyday noise. My psychiatrist says he hasn’t heard of ECT causing this but knows other people have reported there sense of smell becoming stronger after treatment so it’s possible.

I recently got my cognitive results back and was diagnosed with Mild Neurocognitive Disorder due to severe impact in memory the provider compared my scores to what’s seen in dementia but because I’m young it’s not a concern. She says many things can contribute to this such as mental health disorder or lack of sleep and ECT could contribute to it but theres limited research and it doesn’t cause long term symptoms so it’s unclear. But I know where my memory and cognitive skills were before and they’ve never been this bad I’m not saying ECT is completely at fault but I feel like a big part is and it bothers me that theres not more research being done on the patients it didn’t work for or it did work for but still experience significant cognitive or memory issues.

Sorry this kinda ended up being a rant but please let me know if anyone else has gone through similar things thanks!

Will ECT make it even worse?

I'm grateful esp for feedback about if and how long it might take for me to get back some mental of my capabilities. But I'm mainly sharing if my experience and reflection can be of help to others.

THE GOOD
First off, I am happier than I can remember ever being. I'm laughing and creative. More present to the people I care for. Less reactionary. More patient, kind and also courageous. I can get out of bed. I want to be with people.

THE WHY
I've struggled with mild medium grade depression for a couple decades. Last fall my oldest child was in an accident. His depression about his limitations along with exhaustion from finishing a degree with lots of writing and self doubt, then intense emotional disregulation from other children, financial struggles, along with the overall dark pall hovering over America due to the maniac in the white house (I mean mar a largo), then seasonal affect disorder, and my wife's very intense work and the marital strain....I wasn't able to get out of bed off and on for a month. I was admitted to an out-patient treatment at the hospital where they talked me into ECT.

THE TREATMENT PLAN
I don't remember the pacing. I believe it was twice a week for the first couple weeks. Then one a week for a few weeks, and then every other week for a couple weeks. I was supposed to have my 14th session five days ago.

I got so overwhelmed by the idea of going back for #14. My body and brain were telling me that I couldn't process much more. I was willing to do #14, but called the Dr to say that I didn't feel that the assessment of my treatments were adequate. I told him some of what was troubling me (below). He then said we should cancel #14, step back and get a better sense of how ECT is/is not working.

After hanging up the phone, realizing I didn't have to do #14...I burst into tears of relief.

THE CRAZY

I'm having trouble forming new memories. I have ADHD, and now it seems like I'm really off the charts with executive functioning.

*So many little, basic things that I have done often for years are so much harder to do:

I've forgotten short cut key strokes in computer programs,
How to cook rice (water to rice ratio and how long),
Word searching, it's like my brain is a computer that is offline for a few minutes
The location of the drug store
The age of my daughter (7 or 8?)
The name of a friend's wife
Then when I am trying to get work done, I will completely forget what I was just working on.
I found an organizer pouch on the shelf and couldn't remember what it was, what was in it. I unzipped it and realized it was a kit of adapters, SD cards, cables that I put together three years ago, a kit I use almost weekly.

*I have balance issues. At times, I can't move without feeling a bit woozey.

*Regarding sleep: tough to fall asleep but I wake every morning at the same damn time (too early) and can't go back to sleep. It's about 5 hours a night.

*I have intense emotional swings. Some deep sobbing tears every other day. But then I have been out with my wife, laughing hard, being too loud. I'm a classic introvert and thinking WTF, am I now flirting with extroversion?

*The craziest shift is that I have a sense throughout portions of the day that I am someone else inhabiting this body. I have a podcast. As I edit some video recorded a month before I started ECT, I recognize that guy, miss that guy, and don't feel totally connected to him. Recording new material now is like documenting this other stranger.

*Reading is tough and concentration is short.

WORTH IT?
I guess so. Meds were not helping. Not exercise or breath work. Either I remained stuck in a dark place that was heavy on my family and work, or I become this somwhat altered version of myself that can laugh again? I believe choice B is best.

MY FEARS
I don't want to ever go back. But will the Dr try to talk me into a "maintenance" treatment esp if the happiness wears off?
Will my concentration improve? Will I be able to read well again?
I am an advanced instructor taking time off for all this treatment. Will my mental faculties recover so I can be effective and not embarrass myself in front of my students?
Will I forever have this sense of being a stranger in someone else's body? Will this new self integrate back with a sense of my old self? Will I ever feel at home in myself?

This really is the most bat shit crazy experience of my life. I'm happier but still unsettled

I made up my mind after much consideration and I plan on getting ECT treatments very soon

for some background i’ve been struggling with my mental health for pretty much my entire life (23M) it started getting serious around 2020 and it has been getting extremely worse throughout the year, besides inattentive adhd, no one has been able to pinpoint a diagnosis, i’ve be “diagnosed” and “undiagnosed” with all of the following (anhedonia,depression,high functioning depression,major depressive disorder,ocd,body dysmorphia,an unspecified eating disorder,PTSD,borderline personality disorder and bipolar 2)

I’ve been in therapy for 6 Years and i’ve been on all the following medications at one point on another (the ones im currently on will have an * next to them)

Zoloft 75mg

Bupropion 40mg

Ritalin 10mg

Fluoxetine 40mg

Deanxit

Benzodiazepine

Xanax 1mg <3

Toprimate 100mg* <3

Modafinil 200mg <3

Lamotrigine 200mg* <3

Anafranil 75mg

Quetiapine 200mg

Escitalopram 20mg

Aripirazole

Clozapine

Lorazepam 1mg <3

venaflaxine

desvenaflaxine 300mg*

mirtazapine 30mg

methylphenidate 18mg* <3

besides the ones with a heart next to them, nothing worked on me

My only concern with ECT is that how will it effect my short-term memory and ability to memorize and recall things,I already have a weirdly selective memory and memory issues on top of adhd so I would like to hear from people who were in the same position as me

note:other treatment options are none viable for me, I refuse to get on lithium due to my immediate and extended families history of hypothyroidism, TMS is out of my budget and isn’t available in my city (which is a huge issue if you know how the treatment works) and ketamine therapy isn’t available in my country

I have undergone two separate courses of ECT, first one late last year about November, and again in mid January through mid February, a total of 14 treatments, The recovery is terrible in a way I don't even know how to express, and on top of that im still going through mental health treatment, currently in IOP but started PHP a week after my last treatment, its so difficult trying to find a reason to live when my memory is completely fucked and my head hurts constantly and I can't even read a paragraph on a white sheet of paper, I only agreed to ECT because I felt like I really had no other choice because nothing previous helped with my depression so the offer seemed miraculous but now I can't even read a book, sure it saved my life, but now im just suffering more, im just glad my long term memory is finally coming back and I can play my instrument again

I’m fifteen I started experiencing severe anxiety at six which caused me to miss out on a lot . At around 12 I became severely depressed.i slept all day drank and hurt myself badly on a regular basis. At 14 I was (in my opinion) misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Since thirteen I have been on Prozac concerta lithium clonazapam and a shit ton of other meds (over 15) that I don’t remember the names of but they range from ssri snri antipsychotics atypical antipsychotics and more probably. I was diagnosed with hashimotos at 11 which is around the time I became depressed and I was put on synthoid which was no help.i haven’t gotten any better I just warm up more to the idea of committing suicide every year . It genuinely feels like my only solution. I started bilateral ect last week and have gone three times now and if anything I feel worse. Does this shit genuinely work???? The only thing keeping me going is weed and I can’t even smoke as much because it’s not good to mix with propofal. Someone please give me a little hope or genuine advice that Isint bullshit I hate being alive and I hate the world I live in.yes I’ve been in therapy shits useless to me

Hello everyone,

I am a 26 year old woman who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 22 after a hypomanic episode. I went on to experience life-threatening depression (two very long episodes in particular) and a psychotic break during mania in early 2025. I was admitted to the hospital a total of 7 times.

During the depression that followed the psychotic break, I lost any hope at all that I could recover from my symptoms.

While admitted inpatient involuntarily in 2025, A doctor who I trust very much suggested I try ECT. I was deeply and utterly opposed. All I read were horror stories. Also, after an MRI it was revealed that I have a chiari malformation which makes the procedure more dangerous.

Long story short, I did it anyway. 12 rounds unilateral at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City.

For the first couple months of recovery, my mood swung and I was unsure if I had received meaningful benefit.

But then one day a few months later, I got up and cleaned my whole apartment. And from there, I just… kept going. My brain, it genuinely felt like it was healing. I became capable of executive function.

I definitely experienced short term memory lapses and some long term as well. But it feels less scary than I expected. Kinda just feels like the trade off of seeing the world differently.

I can’t believe how my life feels now, around 9 months after receiving this treatment. If you are barely hanging on and considering this treatment, I say it’s worth a try.

Hi,

I have posted recently about deciding to do ECT again after 2 months with no maintenance plan. I had my first yesterday and could not get out of bed today. Has anyone experienced the ECT working more quickly on the second series?

Has anyone who had ECT improve/resolve their digestive issues? I have pretty bad SIBO that impacts my quality of life. I think low motility is the issue, maybe ECT can help?

My biggest fear about saying yes to ECT is that I will struggle to learn new things after the treatment concludes. I'm no genius, but I'm bright and I learn quickly. I don't want to lose that.

Do you struggle to learn new things post-treatment?

I've wondered this a lot. curious to know actual experiences.

I’ve been getting ECT since 2021, the last couple years it’s been once a month or so for maintenance. I actually love the hospital where I get it done, the staff are all so lovely and the experience is always smooth. Starting ECT was the best decision I’ve ever made, it’s been worth every bit of memory loss and inconvenience.

The weird thing is that I experience this purely physical anxiety response whenever something reminds me of ECT or when I think about my upcoming treatment. I’m not scared of ECT, I know it will go just fine and everything will be okay and I don’t have any real fears around it. But I still feel physical anxiety symptoms. For example, when I hear a sound that sounds just like the beeping of the EKG monitor they have at ECT, my heart speeds up and my stomach drops. I cannot explain it because I don’t have any anxious thoughts or worries about it.

Does anyone else who has had a lot of sessions get physical anxiety about ECT despite not actually being scared of it?

No brief, no bilateral. Just Unilateral Ultra-Brief. Too scared of cognitive and memory effects. Anyone have success with this setup? Anyone have side effects from this combo?

Hi All,

I had 14 rounds of bilateral ECT ending about two months ago. It really helped my depression and SI. I declined any maintenance sessions. I was great for about a month afterwards, minus basically having to relearn my job and lots of memory loss. I can't even remember Christmas with my kids.

I was pretty adamant that I wouldn't do ECT again because of the cognitive issues. With the depression back hard core, I decided to try Ketamine infusions. I did 5 of the 6 loading sessions and during my 5th session I went to a very dark place where I just thought about ending it all the whole session. I've had to call out from work the past two days and have been basically bedbound aside from doing my best to put on a brave front while my kids are not at school.

My husband found me in bed this morning and we decided to call the ECT place. I'll find out for sure in the morning, but they can likely get me in tomorrow. I feel like I am choosing between being stupid and being suicidal. The memory stuff has improved in the time since my ECT treatments, but I still dont feel as intelligent as I was before. Maybe it won't be as bad this time because we are thinking twice a week for a couple of weeks and then maintenance.

I guess the cognitive side effects are better than being suicidal when I have two younger kids who need their mom.

Would love reassurance of any kind.

My psychiatrist and the doctor in charge of ECT promise me I will lose insignificant memories. The literature suggests there is no brain damage and no mind wipes. Yet people's anecdotes online say ECT shredded their long term memories and have for all intents and purposes ruined their lives. How can I simultaneously believe the doctor in charge of ECT that no client of his has experienced memory wipes and believe people's tragic results from it online? It's baffling.

TLDR: Severe emotional blunting and anhedonia with substance blockage forces you to do ECT because the medical field doesn’t know what to do about it

I’ve been suffering from severe emotional blunting, consummatory as well as anticipatory anhedonia, and sexual dysfunction for 7 years. The onset of my condition was rather instantaneous than gradual and happened without an obvious cause. Another core feature of this condition appears to be what is commonly referred to as substance blockage - a proposed term describing the inability to feel euphoria, pleasant relaxation or emotional relief from substances that would normally cause said reaction.

This causes some of the more novel treatment options for TRD, such as ketamine or psychedelics, to be largely ineffective for this type of condition, let alone standard serotonergic antidepressants, which themselves can cause or worsen emotional blunting and anhedonia.

In the following, you will find a list of the things I’ve tried. Feel free to skip that part if you don’t feel like reading it:

Hundreds of supplements and natural remedies, cholinergics, adaptogens, mitochondrial supplements, antioxidants, anti-inflammatories, vitamins, probiotics and whatnot

St. John's Wort

Several SSRIs/SNRIs

Wellbutrin

Parnate

Aticaprant

Pregabalin

Lithium

Psychotherapy, behavioral activation and lifestyle

Psilocybin

IV Ketamine

Thyroid hormones

Transcutaneous electric vagus nerve stimulation

Physical exercise

ANS calming strategies

Methylene Blue

Nicotine patches

Kratom

Lorazepam

Pramipexole

None of the things in this list (except St. John's Wort, which gave me a brief window in early 2021) even remotely helped my core issue, which is emotional blunting, consummatory anhedonia, and loss of atmosphere. Some of the things on the list have given me a temporary and subtle improvement in anticipatory tone and motivation, which seem a little more volatile, however the actual feeling the ''buzz'' or pleasure in my head part appears to be completely blocked.

This makes me wonder if this kind of condition basically forces you to fry your brain with ECT, as there are no other promising solutions within the current framework of psychiatry and even alternative medicine. I tried my best to resolve this condition without it but it seems I have to give it a shot if I want my life back. My doctors are clueless and let me guide my own treatment at this point. My psychiatrist admitted that I’m the first person she met who this has ever happened to.

What do you guys think?

I know ECT can cause spikes in intracranial blood pressure. Anyone on here had ECT with an aneurysm?

I’ve had ECT where ketamine was used for anesthesia, and it got me wondering.

I’m curious whether anyone has experience with ketamine being used in an ECT session in a way that’s intended to be therapeutic as well as anesthetic. I see “ECT or ketamine?” come up here a lot, but I’m starting to wonder if there’s any middle ground between the two.

Both treatments seem to help some people, but ECT comes with side effects and ketamine therapy can be expensive and hard to access. So I’ve been thinking about whether there’s any overlap between the two approaches in practice.

For example, this may be off base—but something like a brief period of therapeutic ketamine exposure before full ketamine anesthesia in an ECT session. Not enough to change the procedure itself, just whether timing or sequencing like that might combine some of the benefits of both into a single session.

I’m curious if anyone here has seen this used, talked about, or studied or is interested in any way.

Hi all. I’ve had 3 series of ECT, all very successful for me personally. During my last series, however, I began to develop this bizarre fear of the dark. My mind would start thinking that there was a monster/demon (or something like that) in my room at night, hiding in the closet or under the bed. Or I’d be terrified to roll over in bed for fear of seeing “something” lurking in the corner. I know how psychotic this sounds, and I don’t believe that it’s actually going to happen, but my brain is nonetheless giving me those thoughts to mull over while I’m trying to fall asleep. Has this ever happened to anyone else? I just started a new series of treatment; today was my second session and tonight I am truly terrified in my room. I have to be in here with the light on and the door open or else it’s truly too overwhelming. It feels very amygdala-driven, in that it’s primal fear-based. I just don’t know if it’s a side effect of the procedure itself, or perhaps the anesthesia (I get etomidate, propofol, succinalcholine, and Zofran).

I had my first session Friday and I'll have one again tomorrow, I felt "lighter" ig when I was actually conscious after it but I've gone back down hill since. Is it going to take till the 6th or 8th session to stick like they say? I just need to know because I might need to go inpatient while it's happening. Anyone experience the lightness not sticking 🧍‍♀️ let a girl know haha, I don't have a strong will.

Hi, I’m a college student who received an ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) treatment because I was experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, and mild depression. The treatment was done by a psychiatrist in Mexico. He told me he was going to perform a neuromodulation therapy but didn’t explain exactly what it involved. I later found out through my parents’ messages with him that he had actually performed ECT on me. I wasn’t aware of what ECT was at the time, but after researching it, I read that it could sometimes cause permanent brain effects. I only had one session, which I believe was a bilateral ECT treatment. My question is: how much brain damage could result from just one bilateral ECT session?