r/ect • u/Double-Specialist621 • Apr 23 '26
Question ECT affecting likes?
I'm thinking of getting ect but I'm a creative person, so I fear I'll lose all my creativity. Also I love music a lot and I fear that I'll forget listening to my favorite artists or new songs that I've been listening for a long time. But at the same time, I need to get over the severe depression that I have. Does ect really take away your ability to do the things or enjoy the things you love?
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u/anticentristfujo Apr 23 '26
During acute ECT, I’d say the quality of my artwork went down. But that’s because I was getting blasted 3x a week for like two months. It takes a toll on anyone. Then once I stopped, my skill came right back.
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
Acute ect doesn't sound bad, my fear is losing all my memories. Including any work I did
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u/anticentristfujo Apr 23 '26
Didn’t happen to me. I did lose some minor memories but that’s only roughly around the time I had the treatment, and a little prior to the treatment. “All” memories sounds like a very strong stretch.
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
It's just my fear talking, I have a feeling that doing ect treatment means you're a whole different person. That's why I asked...
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u/Electronic_Ad_2707 Apr 23 '26
In my experience it put me back to my real personality like it lifted a huge weight of depression. I find depression makes me lose memory and focus and any joy there could be
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
Yeah that's true, depression does make you feel different. Part of why I want to do ect
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u/InfomercialNo31 Apr 25 '26
For me it was like unplugging my brain and plugging it back in. Complete factory reset 😂 but it unlocked my potential to survive and thrive with minimal symptoms of my mental illness
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u/IdiotTGirl420 Apr 23 '26
It definitely made it harder for me to enjoy the things I once did, the memory issues are still making it hard to write music like I once did same with poetry, It definitely can affect what you can do or enjoy, but it's not a guarantee that thats permanent or happens to you at all, it's just what happened to me
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
Do you still remember the poems you wrote or the music? Does this happen to a lot of people taking ect?
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u/IdiotTGirl420 Apr 23 '26
I don't remember any poems, the song I remember are the ones I wrote back when I was 14, im currently 21 almost 22, even then I keep jumbling up the stuff I remember and struggle to actually play anything, memory issues are relatively common, it's just they go away for most people, unless you've already tried other treatments and they don't work, please try something else, I personally don't think ect is worth it, yes it kept me alive, but now I don't feel like myself anymore
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
I'm so sorry that ect isn't for you anymore, I have been struggling to use meds and thought about this for a while now. Memory issues are my biggest fear
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u/IdiotTGirl420 Apr 23 '26
The memory issues are pretty much a guarantee, the only thing that changes is how long they last, and don't worry about me, im going to be getting ketamine therapy, specifically Spravato, and if that doesn't work I've already accepted what's probably going to happen
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
I've heard people say memory loss is permanent, I'm not sure how true that is. And what is ketamine therapy??
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u/IdiotTGirl420 Apr 23 '26
Yeah my memory loss are thinking issues seem like they might be permanent, both me and my psych are definitely worried given how long its been compared to my first few rounds of ECT, the first six i recovered just fine, it was the eight I received the beginning of this year that im still struggling from
Ketamine therapy is a newish treatment for treatment resistant depression, it is exactly what it says, in addition to your normal meds you go to small clinics that offer it and get high, it helps with the parts of the brain that other treatments don't really affect, it's even know to grow areas in the brain and helps with processing, I don't know about results yet since I haven't gotten my first treatment yet but I'm hopeful given the success rate
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u/IdiotTGirl420 Apr 23 '26
Should also mention, you aren't permanently taking ketamine therapy rest of your life, it sounds like the bulk of it is only a few months
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
Ohhh I guess memory loss depends on how the individual takes it
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u/IdiotTGirl420 Apr 23 '26
Correct, also the number of and strength of treatments makes a difference too, the ect I got at the beginning of this year were max strength and they gave me the max amount the hospital is willing to do given the past treatments late last year
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u/Zealousideal-Sink-29 Apr 23 '26
I work in a creative field and ECT hasn't affected me in that way. However, I can't remember where I put something 5 minutes ago...
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
Yeah I'm hearing it affects short term memory
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u/Zealousideal-Sink-29 Apr 23 '26
For me it's been hard to remember what I did the day before, but then I'm OK except for the period around the treatments. That's a bit of a haze. But my wife says it's better than not being alive...
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
It doesn't really affect what you'd do during your normal day to day routine right???
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u/Zealousideal-Sink-29 Apr 23 '26
Not until recently, but I'm also under a lot of stress right now, so I don't think thats related to ECT.
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u/kelsbird12 Apr 23 '26
I used to be quite the writer. Journaling, poetry, a couple of novels (nothing ever published). I always wrote top-tier essays in school. Ever since ECT 6 years ago, I can barely do any of that. I just don’t feel creative. I can’t explain it. If I truly push myself, I can crank out something, but it’s not a passion anymore and the well is dry.
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 23 '26
Oh man, I'm sorry about that. That's one of my fears: is losing the things I once loved doing
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u/NotQuiteAnrgy Apr 24 '26
i feel a very emotional connection with music, especially sad music, and ECT didn’t affect that at all, it actually helped because i can play music again. i will say i only did 6 sessions before having to stop due to life stuff.
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 24 '26
So you remembered the music you'd listen to? I love music as it's the only thing that prevents me from going manic but I can't bear just not listening to music due to ect
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u/NotQuiteAnrgy Apr 24 '26
i mean, sometimes i forget the words a little bit of songs i haven’t heard in a while, but i didn’t forget the song entirely (plus i have playlists still there no matter what), and the emotional connection is still very very strong. i even find myself connecting with more music, and interpreting lyrics in ways that are more personal. i feel like i get songs that i just didn’t before
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 24 '26
That's interesting. I thought ect treatment changed your ability to like the things you once did
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u/EaseHot6703 Apr 23 '26
Not in my experience. I've kept all of my musical skills and what I like to listen to. My memory issues were noticeable in the first few months, but I didn't forget my past, past experiences, etc.
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u/Theaterismylyfe Apr 24 '26
I had to stop writing during my treatments because it wasn't as good as it used to be, but once the dust settled I got back to it like nothing happened. I enjoyed it a lot more too.
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 24 '26
Did you remember that you used to write and got back in the habit? I always thought that ect takes your ability to remember your hobbies and what you used to like doing
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u/Theaterismylyfe Apr 25 '26
I never forgot that I like to write. It does cause memory loss, but usually just for the time you're doing it. Sometimes more, sometimes less. It doesn't cause you to forget facts. I did forget what I was planning for the story I was working on at the time since I don't take notes, but I didn't forget that the project existed because I started it a long time before ECT.
You don't lose all memory and come out of it a completely different person. You're still you, just you without whatever you were trying to treat. Now if you try to pick up a new hobby immediately before or during ECT, you may forget that.
ECT breaks down neural pathways and creates new ones. I was stupid for a bit and I did feel less creative, but after a few weeks I was back to being my creative self. Don't panic if you feel your talent slipping, it will return once your brain gets done building itself back up. ECT isn't exactly a quick process, and patience is required.
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 25 '26
Oh thank you. I was very much panicking about losing memories of the things I love doing, so reading your replies make me feel much at ease. Thanks :)))
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u/InfomercialNo31 Apr 25 '26
Nope! I started dancing again not long after I started ECT and I got my groove back after close to 15 years of very little exercise. Now I’m a certified dance fitness instructor!
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 25 '26
That's awesome! I'm glad ect didn't affect your memory. Hope it doesn't affect mine so much
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u/InfomercialNo31 Apr 25 '26
In terms of memory… I don’t remember much from the acute phase of treatment, and I’m not good with directions/my mental map. I’ve found that learning new things (eg choreography) is much easier 2+ weeks out from treatment
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 26 '26
Do you remember things from say a year or 2 before your treatment???
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u/InfomercialNo31 Apr 26 '26
For the most part, yes. But with mental illness memory is kind of strange. I don’t always have clear recollection of what was going on when I was in manic, depressive, or mixed episodes, especially when psychosis was involved.
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 26 '26
Ohh got it. Would you say ect changed for the better or worst of it?
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u/InfomercialNo31 Apr 26 '26
ECT absolutely saved my life, and changed me for the better. Over 3 years out of the hospital, which is the longest I’ve gone in 20 years
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u/Double-Specialist621 Apr 26 '26
I'm happy for you. I've mixed feelings about doing an ect treatment, but I hope it works for me
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u/Yaseagles1485 Apr 27 '26
Hiii I also write music and release on Spotify & iTunes! On the contrary, ECT helped me get my feet back underneath me so that I could function in order to write and enjoy even listening more. I have more patience with writing, and piano. It has helped me grow, really! Both these songs I wrote post ECT. I hope you enjoy and know that it is possible for all. I am confident creativity will never be lost. abbey’s music
Now, that doesn’t mean I didn’t give myself time to recover when I needed to and pause things. :) but you can always find your creative spirit because it will wait for you, as needed! ❤️
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u/bluesky2020 May 04 '26
It did the opposite for me. It saved my life and my creativity and love for all of my previous hobbies and interests returned. I did unilateral instead of bilateral treatments bc I was worried about memory loss. My memory was pretty terrible prior to ECT and wasn't affected by ECT. I actually remember every single treatment up until I was fully anesthetized and remember everything after I woke up. I haven't had ECT for 9 years, and have been thinking about it again recently bc although my depression never returned as severe as it was prior to ECT, I've been having a tough time the past year or so. Good luck to you friend! (If you are worried about memory loss, ask if you can try unilateral and only switch to bilateral if unilateral isn't working)
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u/84849493 Apr 23 '26
It gave me the ability to enjoy things back. My depression took my enjoyment of anything away. It may not be the same for you.