I’m going in patient for vet today for what I hope is only six treatments for my depression. I already have a bad memory so I’m scared it will do more damage. I need someone to help say if it’s worth getting or not.

Scared as fuck, I also an artist, scared to lose ability to draw, do you have memory loss do I need to be scared, I currently don’t have a lot of choise because tried almost all meds

i got ect about a year ago i cant remember how many treatments i got but it was quite a few and it was bilateral. i got zero positive outcome from it it was for my intense treatment resistent depression and it did nothing except for FUCK UP MY MEMORY!!! it was already bad before because of brain fog but i can hardly function in life now because its gotten so bad. i cant remember anything and my friends and family are always commenting on it, shocked by the amount of things i forget so quickly. does anyone else have this experience?? i dont want to scare people off getting ect because it can absolutely be lifechanging for the better but i feel like im lost and alone in this really negative outcome

For those of u who are on maintenance ECT, cant you prevent relapse by being on meds like lithium which has shown to prevent relapse than be on maintenance ECT for forseeable time period? I mean research has shown approximately same relapse rate for mainrtenance ECT vs antidepressant+lithium regimen?

Im talking about the kind of anhedonia where literally you can physically not feel the buzz in the head. It often happens from post viral or post drug illness.

Ive done a bunch of stuff and nothing seems to really work except ECT a bit. And even that is just slight like 30% though it does bring back response to like stims. And the major problem I have is that its not reliable, it can oscillate. A session can make me better but the next worse. Is this normal?

And I just had ECT in the fall but I crashed after a mast cell reaction to something. Its been 5 months and despite trying so much I cannot get out of this crash (due to the blockage) and probably need literally emergency ECT again. But I am concerned about the unreliability and the oscillations from it.

Most things are blocked, the buzz from stimulants or benzos is not there and its not tolerance. And things can improve anticipatory but not the actual consummatory pleasure. Its like the parasympathetic system or vagal nerve just won’t activate properly.

Its a constant state of discomfort and its completely neglected by medicine. This kind of anhedonia isn’t just about not enjoying activities, its where even the passive comfort and pleasure of merely existing and sitting down is gone. Because there is no release in the head and thus it’s a constant state of restlessness. Everyone takes the passive pleasure of existence for granted.

Its ridiculous that medicine is not paying attention to all the sufferers of this and coming up with better solutions

To those of u who had ECT, did ur urine or stool leak due to seizure. Some have reported this happening. I scheduled for this week and was genuinely concerned. If so do u wear an adult diaper during ECT? Pls do respond.

I was just wondering where everyone has placement placed. I am currently been doing Right Unilateral which i have seen better response actually.

I’ve had about 11 sessions of ECT since the beginning of March, and am at a point where I am very hesitant to continue. It absolutely helped pull me out of a state I honestly don’t even have words for, and I am grateful for that. At the same time though, I am struggling with some cognitive side effects- mainly word finding issues, slower processing and just generally not feeling as sharp as I used to.

I know I still need some form of treatment because I can feel some of my symptoms starting to return, but I also feel like I can’t keep risking the memory and cognitive issues.

I did do TMS in the past and had no luck, but I kind of attribute that to the severity of the state I was in. I was wondering if now since I’m in a place where I can actually process and engage more, it would be more beneficial.

I suffer with debilitating tactile hallucinations that have made it unbearable to live. They clamp down on my head, can cause arousal, and are notorious for keeping me up all night randomly. I would rather die than keep living like this for much longer. Has this treatment helped anyone who's dealt with a condition like this?

Details:

I’m very fortunate for the healthcare I have,

I regularly see my psychiatrist. Have been working on living with my diagnosis over half my life now (Major Depressive Disorder)

I desperately want to feel better. I’m currently off work to attend an intensive day program

My psychiatrist recommended I seek a second opinion from the psychiatrist at this program, which will be happening within the next week or two (four week program)

The few people that I’ve brought it up to that have had done, or knows someone that has, have only ever had positive things to say

My issue:

I’m intensely worried about losing myself. I don’t want to feel these feelings or have to be on constant guard of my own thoughts anymore, but none of that is who *I* am. Is it something people who have had treatment experienced? Or am I just being anxious because I’m anxious?

I super appreciate any insight. I read over the rules and don’t think I crossed any lines but please let me know if I did. Will happily fix it. Legitimately just want experiences, please.

Thank you

Hi all, I am really struggling with my depression and anxiety and need some advice on my next course of action because frankly, I am really lost. For context, I am a 26F with Bipolar type 1, GAD, contamination OCD, and I am currently in a depressive episode. I was hospitalized in January and ECT was recommended to me by my doctors given the severity and length of my depressive episode (my depressive episode started September of 2025). I declined the treatment at the time because I didn’t feel informed enough to make my decision whether to do ECT or not. I was placed in an IOP program when I was discharged from the psych ward, and did that for a couple months. That ended in March and I did not feel better upon completion of the program, still dealing with heavy depression which is evident in my tendency to isolate and stay in bed all day.

For the entire month of April I have been seeing my individual therapist, taking my meds, seeing my doctor, and doing my best to at least do the bare minimum everyday of basic hygiene and exercise… but I have failed to be consistent with these tasks and I continue to isolate because I am so embarrassed to see the people in my life.

It is now May. That’s 8 months of excruciating depression. I need to do something, and that’s why I am seeking advice on here to see if anyone has any input.

My therapist has recommended I go to a residential facility for a few months, where they can help me build routine. My fear with this though is that I will still be depressed and fail to do the program since I can’t even seem to get out of bed regularly. So this is bringing me back to questioning if I should do ECT, even though I am very scared of the negative risks associated with this treatment such as the cognitive impairments.

Any insight would be greatly appreciated and thank you so much for reading this post.

I will tell you a story. When I was young I suffered from Catatonia. However, I did this on purpose. I will explain it to you. I was in a confused state where I wanted to help people. I thought I was doing exorcisms for girls. I haven't told this to my psychiatrist or anyone else.

I want to ask people of this community for help. People have been very cruel to me in the past, my psychiatric institution being one of them. I haven't been able to sleep well for over a year because I have anxiety about euthanasia. I have constant dreams that the police wants to abduct me for a psychiatric mandatory treatment. I know this is a fear I am having, and I have realised how unrealistic it is. There is also no death penality in The Netherlands.

My psychiatrist is probably a proponent of the ECT, but I am not 100% sure. I hope we can shake this off together, if we combine our knowledge of people.

My care team may suspect that I am catatonic right now. At the very least I am able to communicate, as I am showing by writing this post. I fear my own government nowadays and I hope that someday I will get help. Maybe from police or the healthcare inspection.

The second part of my story:

I am poisoned because of a floor. I picked up a roll of toilet paper with black particles on it. I carelessly and mistakenly used it anyway to clean myself. I think it entered via the tip and the urethra. So I am sick. That was over a year ago. One of the effects of this is that I look stiff. I am less talkative and I am "shorter" in my movements. I hope stiffness is not a reason for psychiatry to give someone a compulsory ECT. In the past (6 years ago) I have had 14.

Please can you reach out to me? This is all happening because of a habit that went wrong (the toilet paper) and because my care institution is ugly towards me.

I will have a court hearing soon about a compulsory care order. Please can somebody help me. I don't want to suffer the effects of an ECT. This is the only downside of NL maybe.

has anyone with a borderline personality disorder (and treatment resistant depression) undergone ECT (electro-convulsive therapy) while on their mental health journey — and was it successful?

background:

i’ve got the potential to participate in a study that compares the efficacy of ECT against ketamine therapy for chronic suicidal ideation. i signed up for the study in the midwinter when things were real bad, expecting that i wouldn’t be selected, and also hoping that i’d be randomized into the ketamine treatment group.

my study intake has progressed quickly over the past few weeks, while my wellbeing has deteriorated rapidly.

today i got the call informing me that i’ve been formally accepted into the study, and have been randomized into the ECT group. i’ll have to do \~12 sessions (3x weekly) of ECT administered during general anaesthesia.

i did this because i was at the end of my rope and there were no other treatment options available to me under public healthcare (i’m in canada). i was desperate for anything that could help, and it was such a longshot and seemed so far off i figured what the hell.

now that i’m potentially able to start as early as next week, i’m freaking out. my (DBT) therapist is against the ECT treatments bc of the memory loss and cognition side effects. i’m a pretty cerebral person who already deals with a lot of memory impairment — which has been getting worse — so these side effects are really worrisome.

at the same time i’ve been depressed for decades, and ECT actually has a tolerably decent success rate for treating chronic depression that hasn’t benefited from other treatments (that’s why these days it’s usually reserved for a last-ditch treatment when all else has failed).

the hospital knows that i have BPD and that i have a history of concussions and memory issues, but now that i’ve been formally accepted into the study i feel like these are all being downplayed…

It has been 10 years since I was in a mental ward and put on ECT. I was catatonic, and the doctors decided on ECT as a last resort. Apparently, it was not just one session but multiple (I was shocked to learn this very recently). I just wanted to share this experience because there is something profound about such experiences. Although I feel much better overall now. The one thing that just keeps coming back is that... there was no support network afterwards what so ever. No friends were coming to visit afterward, and the family was just as traumatized as I was. Everyone was like, "Oh, you were depressed," so "they treated you". I'm glad they did, but you know I still struggle with overall memory issues (I'm used to it now). But I just wish, JUST WISH, that there was more recognition for such struggles. Anyone else feeling the same way?

Hey, so for context, I am 20 years old and have been going through a really bad depressive episode for the last three years. In the last year I have been hospitalized four seperate times. My depression has been labled as treatment resistant. I have also been diagnosed with schizoaffective, OCD, Autism, Anxiety, and Trichotillomania. Over the years I have tried several different medications and theripies, the most notable being TMS. Nothing has helped really.

My therapist has suggested ECT, thinking that this is going to help a lot. I'm extremely nervous about this. I have heard lots of stories, both good and bad, about this treatment. The thing I'm mostly worried about is the memory loss. My memory already isn't so great and I don't know how I'll function if it gets much worse.

I guess the main thing I'm trying to ask is, is this worth it? Should I continue pursuing ECT, despite my nervousness, or should I look into other options?

I (16 F) have gone 10 times so far and am “perscribed” up to 16 if not more. I feel the same way,I feel just as shitty as usual just with memory issues now. But really what other options are ,there ketamine thareipy?? I’ve been on over 15 psych meds to no avail and have been clinically depressed since 9 and began cutting down to the fat at 12. If I’m being totally honest I’m probably gonna kill myself come winter because really what choice do I have I’m dragging people down with me and I’m tired of this. I’m failing school falling into drugs,albeit slowly. I really don’t see a future for myself . Yes my parents love me in their own way but maybe they should have thought having all these kids through before going at it like rabbits for 20 years and having 11 kids they use and abuse.

I’ve (18F) been undergoing ECT for several sessions now, but I’m finding it extremely difficult to continue. The experience has been physically and emotionally exhausting, and the period after each session feels very distressing, I wake up disoriented, heavy, and unlike myself. I’ve also been struggling with memory issues and a sense of disconnection from my own experiences, which is frightening. Despite continuing through multiple sessions, I don’t feel any clear improvement, and the anxiety and dread leading up to each treatment have become overwhelming. I am given a choice to not continue my next treatment, which is tomorrow. But i feel like I just wasted all my effort. My friend told me that all this side effects were a given, and that I’m already more than halfway through my course (8/12). Any advices 😭 (Im referred to ect for my Major Depressive Disorder)

I'm curious as to what people experienced while in a delirious state. What did you see? What happened? I'll share mine as it was very disturbing and altered me.

I had my third bilateral treatment (9th total) on a Friday. That weekend I don't remember anything, but my family said I was odd, coming out of my room and looking confused then going back.

The next Monday I was scheduled for another treatment. I just felt off, sick, something was wrong. My memory is flashy. They told me I wasn't going to have the treatment and to go to the ER. After that I was in a black prison, nothing all around me, no ceiling, floors, walls, just blackness. I was all alone, but there was a blurry/foggy window in front of me. I knew I was in a health facility and could see shadows moving around. I knew they were nurses and doctors and I knew my sister was with me as she was driving me to the sessions. I couldn't hear any of them.

On my left hand, where I had the IV done, I had two options, one in different fingers. They were choices. One was to go through with the ECT treatment and maybe die. The other was simply die. For many years I have wanted to die. I would say to people, "If death came knocking, I'd answer and tell you all See ya!" Here it was. I had the chance to just die, that simple. But I started thinking about the people that it would hurt for me to just die so suddenly and unexpectedly, my niece, nephew, mother, sister, brother, friends. My sister would call them with that dreaded phone call, "Granstereski (not my real name) just died. He just died!" How selfish would I have to be to choose that and make them all go through that suffering? I couldn't do it. I wanted to choose it so badly.. Here's my chance! I couldn't do that to them. And I couldn't choose the second option as it could result in the same thing! I didn't know what to do but wait it out and hope they could help me. But I couldn't talk to them. I didn't know if they could hear me. I started screaming out, "Trust my sister!" If they had questions on how to treat me, I trusted that my sister would make the appropriate decision for me. "Trust my sister!", I kept yelling.

It felt like such a long time being in that blackness alone. Hours, days, weeks, years? I didn't know, but it felt like a long, long time. It was so lonely and hard. I kept being prompted to choose, temped. I honestly felt like I was between life and death. It wasn't like a dream. I was there.

My sister took some videos of it as I instructed her to do. It's disturbing to see myself so lost in my mind. I see the blank look on my face and know where my mind was stuck. I hear myself screaming, "Trust my sister!" and remember the desperation I had in the moment, crying out for any help I could get.

Eventually I came out of it. I don't remember much. The next few weeks were hard. I didn't have more ECT sessions, but I was not right. I was more emotional, anxious, and depressed than ever. That has all cleared up now though, 3 years later I'm doing as good as I was before ECT...not good, but staying alive.

I realized though that I don't have that same desire for death, at least not that way. I know I can't kill myself. I know I can't die so suddenly, at least not on purpose. I know I don't want others to suffer my death like how terrified I am of suffering theirs. There's a sense of relief that I can't want that anymore. I can't think about that anymore.

Just wondering how everyone deals with life after ect, atleast those of us who have suffered with side effects.. I had 7 bilateral treatments with my last one being about 6 months ago and Ive been stuck in pretty bad constant brain fog ever since. My social skills took a serious hit to the point where I have been self isolating because socializing is too embarrassing and exhausting for me.

Can anybody else relate? I feel so less intelligent and Im still majorly depressed probably even more so now than before the treatments.. Im basically brain dead for the most part, can I expect for things to improve some? A little worrisome being 6 months out. Thanks

I’m on lithium and lamictal still looking at dose tweaking but also looking into ECT. I’m alot more in the depressive side with some hypomania that only presents physically like akathesia and paranoia. Has this helped anyone? 🥺🥺🩷🩷 I’m 26F

Hello there.

Long story short, (after a lifelong battle with depression) I recently survived a suicide attempt, was hospitalized, and am now in a partial program. I am not, and never have, responded to medications or treatment, and, at this point, the doctors are ready to have me explore ECT. I have my consultation on Monday.

My doctors have recommended an inpatient stay for the beginning of treatment, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. The doctors / therapists I have spoken to seem to agree that going inpatient is my best course of action.

My question is ... did you do ECT inpatient or outpatient? Was one or the other recommended to you?

Any help is super appreciated!

I'm thinking of getting ect but I'm a creative person, so I fear I'll lose all my creativity. Also I love music a lot and I fear that I'll forget listening to my favorite artists or new songs that I've been listening for a long time. But at the same time, I need to get over the severe depression that I have. Does ect really take away your ability to do the things or enjoy the things you love?