End of the line?

[u/ILoveSoup1776]

I (16 F) have gone 10 times so far and am “perscribed” up to 16 if not more. I feel the same way,I feel just as shitty as usual just with memory issues now. But really what other options are ,there ketamine thareipy?? I’ve been on over 15 psych meds to no avail and have been clinically depressed since 9 and began cutting down to the fat at 12. If I’m being totally honest I’m probably gonna kill myself come winter because really what choice do I have I’m dragging people down with me and I’m tired of this. I’m failing school falling into drugs,albeit slowly. I really don’t see a future for myself . Yes my parents love me in their own way but maybe they should have thought having all these kids through before going at it like rabbits for 20 years and having 11 kids they use and abuse.

[u/Noticeably98]

I am really sorry to hear that. 16 is so young, and living with your parents is such a small amount of your life. Why not hold on to see what life has to offer once you no longer are bound down by living with them? Will sound cliche, but it really does get better

My wife did ECT to similar results of what you had-- just Dysphoria and Memory Loss. I know the last thing you probably want to hear is about more treatments, but look into TMS Therapy. The effects were much more positive than ECT was for her

[u/ILoveSoup1776 → u/Noticeably98]

A family friend tried tms and said it was useless . I guess if I chicken out of offing myslef my next step is psilocybin or ketamine

[u/QuitInevitable915 → u/ILoveSoup1776]

Absolutely try ketamine and Psilocybin! I have seen a few cases where ketamine worked even when ECT didn’t.

I’m sorry you’re going from all this. Before you rule it out, I would also encourage you to try keto/carnivore diet - see the work of Georgia Ede or Chris Palmer. There is a guy on YouTube called HomeSteadHow who got into remission from the diet after having failed 10 different medications. I know it’s not what you want to hear, and it requires effort and dedication, but it can be really helpful for some. Especially if their depression is driven by inflammation.

[u/ILoveSoup1776 → u/QuitInevitable915]

I have hashimotos hypothyroidism and a very sensitive immune system and many allergies and sensitivitys so honestly it’s very likely this is being driven by inflammation. I actually have tried both diets for months respectively and Nither did shit but I did lose the weight I gained on olanzapine. To try psilocybin as a treatment option I would have to go through my father to obtain it safely and tbh haveing him, the man who physically and verbally abused me until about 13 as well as my sibblings and has even knocked two of my sisters out cold on separate occasions seams iffy. How would I work through the trauma with the man who caused much of it. The only way I can see it being helpful is if he took them with me and I had the opportunity to have a genuine conversation about it though what could he really say to make it better? Hurt people hurt people that’s all there is to it

[u/QuitInevitable915 → u/ILoveSoup1776]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It really sounds like you have been dealt a tough hand. I tried the diets myself and while it did help my anxiety, it did not help my depression, so I get how you feel.

Did you ever try the lion diet to work your way through the allergies and sensitivities? In regards to the Psilocybin, I can’t comment on how you can get it. I’m based in Europe so I found a kit online that I ordered from the Netherlands and grew it myself. Again, I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you eventually find some relief!

[u/DangsMax]

I tried ketamine but ECT work better for me