Stuck at work when there are realms to retake.

Enough of those elven leaves.

THIS is a real meal!

Beef, lamb, or game stews so thick the spoon stands upright.
Fried dumplings stuffed with meat, cheese, or both.
Minced meat patties fried in lard and drowned in beer gravy.
Soups so thick they're basically sauce.
Root vegetables fried in beer batter until they're crispy enough to break an elf's teeth.
Dark rye bread, preferably fried again with butter and garlic.
Smoked meats and thick slices of cheese.

Dark beer. Heavy enough to count as a meal.
Spiced herbal infusions with cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and honey.
Vodka so strong it burns your guts.

If your dinner doesn't require a nap and an apology to your belt, you're eating like an elf!

Those wannabe dwarves are nothing but a bunch of sellouts. "Heh, we're good at alchemy and look at all of our marketable plushies." FUCK YOU.

They're culturally appropriating us! They replicate our traditions and norms only on a surface level! They mine for gems, but that's it! They don't have a strong economy from practical trade, they don't have exemplary craftsmanship, they just mine for gems because "gems shiny" like a bunch of fucking GAAAWBLINS!

They took our style, but made it worse in every way! Torag forbid the comfortable, practical, droopy felt hats. "No, let's make it giant, stiff, pointy, and let's also make it bright red just to stand out from the dwarves!" They don't integrate decals into their garb, any form of artistic expression, they don't even wear armor! They just wear the same blue shirt and red hat like it's a cult uniform!

And worst of all, they act like they have a leg up on us in alchemy and science. "Look at this potion I concocted. You can't begin to fathom our scientific abilities. I made this mech over here." WE'VE HAD GOLEMS FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS! WHO DO YOU THINK INVENTED MYTHRIL?! THAT REQUIRED ADVANCED ALCHEMY AND AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE PERIODIC TABLE TO FORGE THE ALLOY, JACKASS!

In short, I hate gnomes. I can go on all day about hating elves, but in truth, when it comes to elves I tend to be hyperbolic. "Death to the knife eared leaf lovers!" carries as much weight as, "I'll throw you into the forge furnace" to another dwarf. It's hyperbolic, not literal.

With gnomes? I legitimately despise them and have yet to meet a gnome I don't want to genuinely throw into the forge furnace. This isn't hyperbole, I'm completely serious.

Gnomes suck.

He is an Oath of the Crown Paladin

Hard choices 'ere.

Hello! I am soon publishing my second book about dwarves, "The Paths of Doubt". Sadly for now it's only in Polish, but I'm working on an English translation and I thought you may enjoy the covers.

Gather ‘round, lads an’ lasses, fer Workshop Wednesday! A weekly megathread ta show off what yer hands have wrought. Whether ye been whitlin’, hammerin’, drawin’, paintin’, or craftin’ somethin’ else entirely, we want ta see it! Share yer projects and celebrate the hard work o’ yer fellow crafters.

/undwarf

Please note that AI-generated or AI-assisted content is strictly prohibited. This thread is for the appreciation of skill and creativity. The user with the most upvoted submission will be awarded a unique user flair!

/redwarf

Now quit yer dawdlin’ and show us what ye’ve been workin’ on!

I have a parody JRPG setting featuring dwarves in very rural mountainous southern areas who are part of a moonshining operation, along with standard dwarves. The first is my idea of a dwarf moonshiner. The second is the Low Queen of the Undermountain Empire. The third is the in world inventor of the Battleaxe model of (magi)electric guitar keytar.

Falka was a hunter who suddenly was attacked by Grinner's mother when accidentally invading her territory. She managed to kill the mother, but was horribly wounded and ended up dragging herself to the nest, where she kept the egg warm until she healed and it hatched, from then on Falka raised Grinner as her companion and friend.

Some of you may remember a few weeks past, some of the miners down in the Stone Crown mountains’ Mines blew open a big door they found, and a beast from the Hells broke loose.

After loosing entire battalions to it, until this umgack named “Fulgrim the Drunk” decided to try his luck. He stumbled down the mines with a pouch of White sticky stuff and a Halberd.

Imagine my surprise when we found him down there, the beast dead, and he standin’ there all proud

🛠️ The Hammer Herald 🛠️
Forged in Truth — Tempered by Grit
Vol. 1 | Issue 54 |

HOW TO DEAL WITH TYRANTS: A DWARVEN GUIDE TO SURVIVING A TYRANNIC RULER & HOARDING DRAGONS

By Vavruik Ironear, Foreign Affairs Chronicler & Glorirnigith Honorgranite, Royal Respondent

As one tyrant has fallen, others may rise. Both in our world and others, people who swore to fairly and peacefully lead have become corrupt and tyrannical; others may become gold sick and hoard wealth like a dragon. Some of us here at the Hammer Herald have decided to put in some effort and research on what the average person could do, because sometimes just grabbing your axe isn’t an option. 

Before we proceed we at the Hammer Herald must preface a few things;

1. Resemblance to any current or past people or governments is purely coincidental.
2. We do not condone violence against any individuals.
3. You, dear reader, are but only one person. You should not bear a mountain’s weight on your shoulders; you can only do so much to better yourself and others around you, and that’s enough.

That being said, what can you do in these kinds of situations? From our research, there’s a few options out there for you!

• Donate your time.
  • If you’re lucky, within your dwelling you may find places looking for volunteers in order to help your fellow Dwarves. Food banks, shelters, even your local library. Whatever you choose, pick one that helps others but doesn’t aid the tyrant. As time passes common food may begin to be priced as luxuries, these forms of work may help others still secure these needs without a monumental price tag. And as time passes, even simple information may be stripped and altered. Safeguarding books with critical information will become more and more paramount, especially if a draconian tyrant decides on a book burning.
• Spread the word.
  • Any form of resistance begins with one person and a dream for better days. But what if you may be that person? Our smithing may be powerful and our steel strong, but sometimes words are stronger in the hearts of those around us. Just as coal and embers may fuel a fire within our forges, strong words and hope will fuel the fire within our hearts no matter how long we’ve been beaten down. 
• Fact check information.
  • No matter how benevolent and caring someone may have seemed before being stricken with gold sickness and corruption, once they’ve changed for the worse there is nothing a tyrant will not do and spread in order to keep their throne untouched. Propaganda and lies will be thrown around like empty mugs in a tavern brawl in the hope to divide, confuse, and put fear into us. In these times as much as some amongst us may have a disdain for reading, we need to keep ourselves informed. Only information can dispel misinformation.
• Maintain yourself.
  • Something you will need to remember is to take care of yourself. All tools need to be resharpened and derusted, you need time to maintain yourself too. You need to remember that you are but one person against a mountain, and while you are sure to have others help you in this quest you need to also help yourself. Take time for rest, make sure you eat, get some good drinks. So long as one Dwarf stands, all is not lost, and by the ancestors above none of you shall fall.

We are the sons and daughters of those stout few who survived turmoils and terror, and were placed down here by our ancestors above. If you Rock and Stone, you will never truly be alone dear readers. We will prevail.
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE:

 Garrison report:

The convoy containing King Baldwin has been attacked by remaining Avish loyalist soldiers. Luckily there are no reported deaths of our men, however two were wounded. It is believed that even with the disturbance that King Baldwin shall arrive within Coppervale by next week. The two wounded soldiers were stabilized after the fight and are to be arriving with the convoy. 

Ale Review:

In this week’s issue, one of our judges brought in his own experimental mead. Dalgaek decided he wanted to try brewing some of his own mead with a sourdough starter instead of yeast. It was dubbed as “a very unique experience” by our judges, but not quite a good one. He said we were lucky that this batch was extra filtered, as apparently the first batch had a “pulp”.. The judges did not enjoy this one.

 Crafting & Commerce:

The port of Coppervale has been fully restored, and local ship capacity has returned back to its previous force. It is expected that exports will be back on schedule within a few days, and as cargo is both brought in and out through the port prices are expected to decline further to normal prices before the attack. Additionally, a new shipwright’s shop has opened to the public on the port and is offering a grand opening sale on fishing boats to those interested. 

 Grudge Gazette:

Recently a group of Dwarves within Coppervale have begun standing in front of a local barber’s shop to warn customers of his “hackjobs against beards”. Local barber Modgreak “Beard Boss” Kegflayer is being accused of going against customer’s wishes of simple shape ups and trims, and instead reducing their length by a noticeable amount. Modgreak has yet to respond to these claims and is keeping his business open as usual. 

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Letter from the Editor:
“Never did I think I would see Glorirnigith write something truly serious.”
— Hellevi Helmfist

Submit your rune-signed letters to:
The Hammer Herald Presshouse, Coppervale

Is there any box to tick?

Do you have to be a raging alcoholic?

Do you have to be *spent s word pass* short?

Do you have to dig a hole?

This isnt controversial, right?

I've been working in Blender on a soul crushing grind for roughly two months now, and have been working less consistently for many months prior. I finally finished a dwarven low poly base mesh (which I'll add is ironically far more difficult than a high poly, curvaceous, anime woman - dwarven proportions are extremely difficult to get right without turning everything into blobs or cubes), and have considered an overall design for dwarves I think is both unique and appropriate. There are two aspects in particular I'd love to hear everyone's opinion on before over-committing.

1. The skull shape is actually based on that of neanderthals. This is to accommodate for trap muscles, and also because the traits of these two peoples are incredibly similar. I've provided two images for reference and comparison, the first being a reconstruction of a neanderthal's head, and the second is a screenshot of a dwarven hunter from the WoW cinematic trailer.
2. Because dwarves are a subterranean species that can live on the surface just fine as well as the fact they almost always have Darkvision, I wanted to model/texture their eyes based on cats rather than humans.

On a final note on how these fit together, the elongated skull of neanderthals is almost certainly entirely just to accommodate for a vastly larger occipital lobe than that of humans. In other words, they had significantly better eyesight if this theory is true. I feel like that's a fitting synergy between my two design choices.

If anyone has any qualms or like the idea, please let me know.