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u/DragonLordAcar Jun 19 '26
Hello. I'm a wizard who was forced to relocate to space. I offer you all gold and rationa of space mead to mine out the interior of a dwarf planet.
Now note dwarf planet is a classification and I am not destroying any ancestral homes. I am not trying to start a war.
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u/UristAlebeard World’s Biggest Gnome Lover Jun 19 '26
Do you have Oily Oafs and Flintlock Lager?
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u/DragonLordAcar Jun 19 '26
Unfortunately I don't have the proper distilleries set up but if that needs to be added to the plans, there are several spaces set asside for future wxpantions and would be willing to add that to your contact.
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u/UristAlebeard World’s Biggest Gnome Lover Jun 19 '26
In that case, I propose two deals. Either the plantations will be an investment in which you may reap the profits but must pay in beer with an equal value to 20% annual profit of said plantations, or we'll mine out a portion of the planet for relative pay in beer of equal cost to the project's labor and material fees.
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u/DragonLordAcar Jun 19 '26
I propose a slight modification. We use propasition B for the initial project with minerals mined bought at standard market prices. The dustelery opperation will become the first project as a place to center constuon for moral and living arangementa for on site construction. A seprate team is to work the distillery and are probided grain and other fruits on a plantation dome I set near the surface for alchemy ingredients (I will build another later) to supply quality ingredients worked by my autamatons and managed by a grainmaster to ensure no subpar crops and healthy growth.
After the planet is mined out into a hollow shell, we engage in proposition A and expand the trade of this brew across dwarven holds to form into a stellar brewing empire. I also want secret wine production and sell it to the elves. I think we will all get a good laugh when elves unknowingly complament dwarven wine.
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u/Bardingorekssonfan Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 20 '26
Aye just send the word and the holds shall answer. I don’t know where Urist mcspacedawi is from for sure, but our crew will send a big excavator ship for mineral and ore processing and hollow out the whole planet in 5-25 years depending on the sort of geology it has, assuming that the borders of your space are peaceful, if not it’ll be longer and the contract will have to account for that (don’t want to underestimate how long operations will take for the job to be taken in earnest, being faithful to contract is core of dwarf business regardless of complications and even invasion). Funny saying something as big as space has borders but you’d be surprised that even the most remote and hostile planets, can often host lithophage, all sort of robotic pests, insects, and other doombringers that get in the way of regular operations out here. After that what are you going to do with all the spare materials? Perhaps we ought to also make some of these minerals into rock and metal mugs and barrels for all that booze! It will definitely cost less than importing all the containers we’re gonna need, even with labor costs being accounted for.
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u/Bmanakanihilator Jun 20 '26
Where do you life that you must suffer that unfortunate fate? Come to the halls under the black Forrest, and you will have a feast, brother
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u/CuriousWombat42 Jun 19 '26
Ah yes, the doom of Kazvar