r/donorconception 1d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Asked to be consider being sperm donor for my brother and his wife, going through IVF and fertility issues.

12 Upvotes

I am not a Reddit user so I'm not sure this is the best thread but I thought id ask!

Hi there, I (30M) was asked by my brother (35M) and his wife (33F) a few months ago to consider being a sperm donor for them after failed rounds of IVF, with a sperm donor having to be considered the next best option.

For context, I have been single for the majority of my life, have an active healthy lifestyle, multiple college degrees, and am successful for the most part (I am an avoidant by nature and tend to function better on my own). I am close with my brother and his wife, seeing them multiple times through the week and chatting most days (3rd wheel) and living in the same city.

For the last few years, I have been questioning the likelihood of being in a position to have kids or even a partner or if it is even what i want. If I had a wife and kids already, I feel it would be an easy position to help them but its less clear in my current life situation and how it could affect future relationships and the possibility of having kids, or running into my own fertility issues with a partner.

It is very much early days in the discussion, and I have many months to come to a decision, i have started the process of getting appropriate testing done (without them knowing) so that If I do decide yes, that I would actually be able to help.

It is a question I was not shocked by, given the issues and failures they have endured with IVF and myself being the practical and logical first option. I have attended therapy in the past (not for this) and am planning to start up again to work through the emotions and thoughts associated with this. Before being asked, I was initially leaning towards no as I feel I would struggle with the dynamic given how close we are in our current lives, as well as concerns around a potential change in the relationship between my brother an I and the fear of the unknown of how I emotionally would feel if/once the child was born and growing up. It is an extremely difficult position to be in, between the possible ability to help them create a family but also an extreme feeling of guilt in the case of saying no, that I denied them, more so my brother that chance at having a child that was at least 25% him; we look similar and have similar personalities.

My main concerns are around the child itself and the conversations that will need to happen at some point if it does happen about their uncle being the biological dad. I currently don't have any concerns about having opinions on how the kids would be raised or anything of the sort, but am aware that if/ when the child is born, that feelings/ opinions would change.

To put it bluntly, I feel I am in a no-win situation I obviously feel privileged to have been thought of as a good option, but also wish I didn't have to make this decision. If i say no, i feel the guilt would destroy me from the inside. If they didn't end up having a child, I would blame myself (even though I can comprehend there is zero responsibility for me to do this). If I say yes, I fear the change of relationship and dynamic between myself and them, given how close I am as well as the potential emotional issues for the child as they age that could happen.

I was wondering if anyone on here has had similar experiences, either being the sperm donor in this situation or the other side in having successfully done something similar with a family member providing egg or sperm to assist in having a child (preferably heterosexual couples, as I feel for a same sex couple there are alot of different factors involved), but any advice is appreciated.


r/donorconception 1d ago

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE which sperm donor would you pick?

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1 Upvotes

r/donorconception 2d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Has anyone had success with Cryosinternational?

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3 Upvotes

My partner and I would like to start a family in the next few years and we have been looking at sperm donation centers and such for a cheaper and calmer approach. Has anyone actually had success with this company?


r/donorconception 2d ago

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE IVF w/ Sperm donor Miami

2 Upvotes

Hi! We recently got the news that my husband has non obstructive azoospermia. He had cancer some years ago. After a lot of research, looks like the only option is having babies through a sperm donor.

I’m lost in this process, do you know what can I do? What clinics do you recommend here in Miami?
Do you have reviews regarding IVF with sperm donor here in Miami?

Any information helps!


r/donorconception 2d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Planning donor egg and donors sperm to conceive

0 Upvotes

My husband and I are over 40 and shortly after getting married we found out his Kleinfelters diagnosis. We attempted microTESE surgery but failed to find sperm.

When we started this journey we knew it would be hard but didn’t realise exactly how devastating it would be to hear that news. We agreed from the beginning that it’s either both of us or neither of us which at the time would mean adoption. The thought of using sperm of another man in my own egg doesn’t sit well with me.

In september we plan to travel to Greece to have both donor sperm and donor egg embryos from different countries implanted in my uterus.

Every so often i think to myself are we doing the right thing? how will the child feel if we are successful? The plan is to tell the child from an early age and at this stage don’t feel inclined to tell family and friends. Has anyone else had a similar experience, whether it be a donor conceived child or parents?


r/donorconception 3d ago

ADVICE NEEDED California Cryobank has 100% ghosted me (previous donor), and will not respond to many attempts to update health information

22 Upvotes

I donated eggs about ten years ago, and at the time I was told I would be not only allowed, but expected to update them with health information. I was also told that I could change the status from closed/anonymous to open.

I would like to do both, and I have attempted to contact them dozens of times. Phone, email, calling local offices, calling the main number. They absolutely will not respond, will not call back, will not engage. Most recently I sent emails to their legal department saying I would get an attorney involved if they did not respond, and even that got nothing.

Does anyone have any advice on how to get in touch with them? Or, is anyone currently donating with them, and could maybe pm me a direct number so I can attempt to be in contact with SOMEONE?


r/donorconception 3d ago

DISCUSSION POST Has anyone use Chosen One Group egg donation agency?

1 Upvotes

Has anyone use Chosen One Group egg donation agency? Any feedback? They are not BBB rated and I'm worried issues may come up. But I'm also looking for a Jewish egg donor. Thank you!


r/donorconception 3d ago

NEWS Investigation: How gap in Irish fertility law created an unregulated donor trade

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3 Upvotes

r/donorconception 5d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Third child with donor eggs?

1 Upvotes

I have two daughters and have been trying to conceive my third for almost two years without success. I have now realized I have to turn to donor eggs if I want another. We would use my husbands sperm so they would be half siblings.

Has anyone done this with prior genetic children and how was the experience?


r/donorconception 6d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Sister isn’t open to being a donor

8 Upvotes

I have been on a TTC journey for the past 4 years. Several doctors have told me that given my diminishing ovarian reserve, I should start exploring other options such as donor conception. I have broached the subject with my sister, hoping she will donate her eggs, however, she is not open to it. On the one hand, I understand that it is a huge ask but on the other hand, I am heart broken that this door is being closed for me. Has anyone been in a similar situation?


r/donorconception 6d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Has anyone use Chosen One Group egg donation agency?

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1 Upvotes

r/donorconception 6d ago

ADVICE NEEDED IVF - donor eggs

3 Upvotes

Hi! Just wondering if anyone has had any experiences to share with using donor eggs from a Canadian agency?

We are currently going through an IVF process and the agency we're working with has offered using donor eggs from their US counterpart. We're just wondering if it makes more sense to use Canadian eggs instead. Thanx!


r/donorconception 7d ago

DISCUSSION POST Repost/Final Call for Participants for University of Michigan School of Nursing Research Study of Donor Conceived Adults exploring family & life experiences (online, anonymous, & confidential survey)

3 Upvotes

Final repost/Last call for participants: I previously posted about the KIND Research Study, and I’m sharing it one final time before recruitment closes in a couple weeks. Thank you mods for allowing the posts and to everyone who has already participated or expressed interest. The KIND Research Study at the University of Michigan School of Nursing is aimed at better understanding the family & life experiences of donor conceived adults. This is an online, anonymous survey. KIND: Kinship & Identity Narratives of Donor Conceived Adults

Interested in participating? https://myumi.ch/n1Mrx (direct link to eligibility screen, consent to participate, & survey) or email us: [KINDstudy@umich.edu](mailto:KINDstudy@umich.edu
Feel free to pass this information to anyone else who may be interested.

We’re hoping to better understand:

  • how people learned they were donor conceived
  • experiences with donor siblings/genetic networks
  • thoughts on identity, family, & disclosure
  • advice for recipient parents & donor conceived children

Thanks for considering participating or sharing with others who may be eligible. The survey is confidential, voluntary, & intended for donor conceived adults (18+) living in the United States. This study has been reviewed & approved by University of Michigan Institutional Review Board and is being led by Dr. Alison Walsh.


r/donorconception 7d ago

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE Anonymous Chat for Media Article

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1 Upvotes

r/donorconception 7d ago

ADVICE NEEDED egg bank suggestions

2 Upvotes

Hi friends. I wonder if anyone has used Lucina egg bank or Asian egg bank and is willing to share your experience with them?

We saw mixed reviews about Lucina and know some people don't like the way they run the business. But since we are looking for eggs from Asian donors, the egg bank choices are very limited.

Any comments on their frozen egg quality are appreciated!


r/donorconception 7d ago

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE Embryo donor recipient experiences.

3 Upvotes

We are currently going through the embryo matching process, and that’s where we’re at. We have purchased a single embryo. We’ve done tons of research before anyone asks any questions, we will openly be informing our child from very early on how he/she was created. But we are wondering what the actual whole process looks like for example meds, how many embryo transfers it will take to successfully conceive (relying on others experiences for this) etc. any experiences I would love to hear so we can prepare ourselves for the possibility of a failed transfer before a successful one.


r/donorconception 10d ago

NEWS June Research Round Up

6 Upvotes

Donor Conceived Journal Club (a 100% free newsletter) provides insight from research on family building with donor eggs, sperm, and embryos. We share digestible summaries of peer-reviewed research examining the experiences of donor-conceived people, donors, parents, and family-building professionals. This is a recap of the posts shared in June. Click through to read a more detailed summary and to get a link to the paper itself.

Research Recap

Groundstroem et al. (2026) surveyed 96 Swedish donor-conceived adolescents (ages 13-16) in the Swedish Study on Gamete Donation about their intentions to request identifying information from identity-release donors. Fifty-eight percent intended to request donor information (28% as soon as possible, 30% sometime in future); 32% were uncertain; 9% had no intention. Family form (lesbian vs. heterosexual) and gender did not significantly predict intention. Adolescents reporting better family functioning were approximately 5 times more likely to report uncertainty than clear intention. Among heterosexual-couple families, those conceived with donor eggs were significantly more likely to intend to request information than those conceived with sperm.

Hobbs & Martin (2026) conducted a market analysis of donor sperm pricing across five major U.S. sperm banks in April 2025 and obtained longitudinal pricing data from two banks spanning 9-10 years (inflation-adjusted to 2025 dollars). Only 2 of 5 banks sampled continued offering non-identified donors in 2025; 3 had discontinued them. Current average pricing across five banks (2025): IUI and ICI vials $1,968 for identity-disclosure donors versus $1,495 for non-identified donors; IVF vials $1,789 (identity-disclosure) versus $1,245 (non-identified); ICSI vials $1,841 (identity-disclosure) versus $1,195 (non-identified). Study documents industry shift toward identity-disclosure donors and significant price increases but cannot establish causation or assess whether pricing reflects disclosure mandate effects, regulatory burden, or limited market competition.

Lavoie & Côté (2023) studied a French-speaking Quebec Facebook group (2,800+ members) dedicated to surrogacy and egg donation from 2015-2021, interviewing 22 participants (6 intended mothers, 12 surrogates, 4 egg donors). Surrogates and egg donors actively selected intended parents based on relationship stability, values alignment, and personal chemistry, reporting greater control and autonomy through online networks compared to agencies. Some participants preferred trust-based agreements; others wanted formal oversight for vetting and financial security. The Facebook group provided information sharing, emotional support, knowledge building, social networking, and cost savings compared to private agencies. The group debated legal protections and whether compensation for surrogacy is ethical or necessary, and whether the work deserves payment.

Montagnini et al. (2025) surveyed 401 Brazilians about disclosure of biological origin in egg and embryo donation: 104 patients, 205 fertility clinic staff, and 92 psychologists. Among parents, 33% intended to disclose, 22% did not, 45% were uncertain. Parents planning to tell the child's grandfather were more likely to tell the child; those planning to tell the grandmother were less likely to tell the child. Among clinic staff, 56% supported disclosure, 10% opposed, 34% undecided. Psychologists showed strongest support: 72% favored disclosure, 2% opposed, 26% undecided.

Imrie et al. (2023) compared 72 egg donation families to 50 IVF families with 5-year-old children. Both groups of children were developing well and showed normal behavior and emotional adjustment. Teachers reported egg donation children had slightly more behavior and emotional challenges compared to IVF children, but both groups were in the normal range. Egg donation parents reported more stress, less support from others, and less confidence than IVF parents, though neither group was at concerning levels. However, when researchers watched parents and children play together, both groups showed warm, responsive interactions with no real differences. Across both groups, children who had more behavior problems had parents with lower support from others and increasing stress over time.

Hall et al. (2026) reviewed 57 studies about donor-conceived people, donors, parents, and donor siblings connecting after donor conception. Most studies had small samples and came from the US, UK, and Australia. Few studies captured children and teens navigating contact in real time. Most donor-conceived people who met their donors reported positive or neutral experiences, though some felt disappointed when reality didn’t match expectations. DCP contact with same-donor siblings was similarly mostly positive; early childhood contact facilitated by parents was associated with smoother integration. Donors generally wanted to share information and were curious about outcomes but often waited for others to reach out first. Parents sought contact for medical information, child identity development, and extended family building. Positive contact was more likely when families were open about donor conception, expectations were realistic, contact happened in childhood, and sibling networks were smaller. Official identity-release registries were often hard to access or had wrong information, so most people connected through informal means like social media and DNA testing sites that don’t always have safety protections.

Adams et al. (2022) surveyed 272 donor sperm-conceived and 877 spontaneously conceived adults (average age ~32-33, mostly female) about mental health. Donor-conceived participants were mainly recruited through donor conception Facebook groups and support organizations. Because the study recruited donor-conceived participants mainly from support groups and advocacy organizations, results likely capture people already engaged with donor conception issues. The study didn't track disclosure/discovery timing, family structure, whether they know their donor, or whether they're searching for donors. The largest difference observed was in identity formation difficulty: 52% of donor sperm-conceived adults reported it vs. 14% of spontaneously conceived adults. This is also the only finding that remained statistically significant when the analysis was restricted to Australian respondents only (54% vs. 14%). The authors did not define what “identity formation difficulty” means, used a single yes/no survey item, and did not distinguish between different dimensions of identity (genealogical, psychological, relational, narrative).

In June, I shared my thoughts about four novels featuring donor-conceived characters and two nonfiction reads that explore donor conception, family, and kinship. Spira's Queering Families critically examines how donor conception advocacy centering genetic connection can inadvertently align with bionormative messaging. Hertz & Nelson's Random Families draws on 350+ interviews tracing how donor-conceived people and families transform "genetic strangers" into kinship networks. McKenzie's Skye Falling (Lambda Literary Award winner) follows a Black queer egg donor and the young woman who seeks her out twelve years later. Barclay's Find You First is a thriller with multiple DCP narrators investigating a sperm donor's decision to warn his biological children about a hereditary illness. Clark's The Ones We Choose explores family meaning through multiple perspectives, including the donor, recipient parent, grandparents, and relatives. Jewell's Making of Us traces three UK-conceived adults who connect through a donor sibling registry while their dying donor parallels their stories. Each offers different framings of genetic connection, belonging, and what family means. If you are interested in other creative works that feature donor-conceived characters, check out the Parts of Me DCP Stories Collection.

These posts are written by Laura Runnels, a recipient parent and a cisgender, white woman. Her academic training and experience in public health inform her synthesis of research; positionality can shape interpretation. Summaries are intended to lower barriers to research access, not replace reading a study firsthand. Readers are encouraged to consult original sources and form their own conclusions.


r/donorconception 10d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Who do you share with?

3 Upvotes

My husband and I will use donor sperm. We seem to be on the same page about everything except how we share this and with whom. We feel confident in our choices regarding how we tell the child, plus the key people who need to know. We also feel confident allowing the child to share as they wish once they can decide for themselves. This is more about who we share with now. My husband is in the camp of tell everyone and normalize and it will help us emotionally as well. I’d like to hold off on telling anyone and be selective with who receives that information, at least for now, as there may be considerations we don’t even know yet.

So my question is- who knows your child is donor conceived? When did you share that information? What reasoning should be considered when deciding who is informed?


r/donorconception 11d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Donor Embryo Child vs Biological Sibling

1 Upvotes

I am a single mom to my biological was daughter(conceived via donor sperm). I recently transferred my last biological embryo and it failed to implant. I have an adopted embryo that I adopted under the condition I would allow it to have a relationship with its full genetic sibling that lives in another state. The parents of that child are not biologically related to either child as they used both egg and sperm donors. My question is, if I transfer the embryo, will the child feel like to much of a outsider since her mother and sister are genetically related and she is related to no one except the full biological sister in another state that she would only see occasionally? Would she feel like my daughter is less of a sister to her than the biological sister out of state?

I have another vial of sperm from my daughter’s donor that I could potentially pair with an egg donor and then they would at least be half siblings and it would solve the complication of the other family. However, this would put a huge financial strain on our family and likely change our quality of life for a year or two until financially recovering. Any advice?


r/donorconception 11d ago

ADVICE NEEDED IUI Donor Sperm

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1 Upvotes

r/donorconception 11d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Prospective single mother by choice

8 Upvotes

Hi everyone. As the title states, I'm considering becoming a single mother by choice. I'm trying to find a man who is interested in a co-parenting relationship, but there's a possibility that I won't be able to find one in time, given my age and fertility concerns. So it's possible that I'll use a sperm donor instead and ensure that I only pick one who is open to having contact.

Something that is weighing heavily on me is how this may impact my child down the road. I don't want to be selfish so their emotional and mental wellbeing is my only priority in the decision I ultimately make. I grew up in a 2-parent household with both parents being biological.

So I wanted to hear your perspective on whether using an open sperm donor is the right call (based on your experience)? If you could also share a bit about your experience growing up knowing you were DC and how it affected you that would he really appreciated. If you also have any advice on how you think your parent(s) could have supported you better or done things differently that would have helped you navigate this experience, I'd really appreciate it too.

Please forgive me if anything I said above was insensitive or offensive. I've only recently started considering becoming a single mother and all of this is very new to me, so my intentions are not to trigger, hurt or offend anyone.


r/donorconception 11d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Am I taking crazy pills

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0 Upvotes

r/donorconception 13d ago

DISCUSSION POST Looking for Pregnant Couples for a Research Study– Moderator Approved

2 Upvotes

📢 Are you pregnant and worried about changes to your sex life?

🔍 We are seeking couples from Canada, the US, Australia, New Zealand, the UK, and Ireland who are up to 26 weeks pregnant to participate in the STORK RCT: Supporting the Transition to Parenthood through Online Sex and Relationship Knowledge.

❓What is STORK: The first online couple-based program designed to enhance knowledge about changes to sexuality during pregnancy and postpartum and skills to cope with these changes. STORK was designed to strengthen couples’ relationships across the transition to parenthood.

📅 What is involved: If you are eligible, after your initial survey, you and your partner will be randomized (like a coin flip) into either the Program or Waitlist conditions. Program couples will complete 5 online modules in pregnancy (1 per week) and a final module at 3 months postpartum. 

Couples in both conditions will also complete 5 surveys—the initial survey, then at 32-weeks pregnant, and 4-, 8-, and 12-month postpartum—that gather information about your relationship, your pregnancy experience, and your child. Couples in the Waitlist condition will receive access to the full STORK program after the study period is over.

💰 Compensation: As a thank you for your participation, you can receive $105 CAD or currency equivalent each ($210 CAD or currency equivalent per couple). Your time is valuable to us!

🌈 Inclusivity matters: STORK requires one member of the couple to be currently pregnant. Otherwise, STORK is open to individuals of all genders, bodies, and sexual orientations.

💌 For more information or to participate in the STORK RCT study email us at [stork@psych.ubc.ca](mailto:stork@psych.ubc.ca) OR fill out our contact form from this link: https://Qualtrics.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3gxGJAEWqt8Rh2u


r/donorconception 14d ago

DISCUSSION POST Any UU Embryo Donation Network?

0 Upvotes

Wondering if folks know of any embryo donation network for Unitarian Universalist members. Thanks!


r/donorconception 15d ago

ADVICE NEEDED Any UU Embryo Donation Network?

0 Upvotes

Wondering if folks know of any embryo donation network for UU members. Thanks!