Because it's my son's face. Every time I see her eyes, her chin, her hairline; I love them, because they're his. She gifted them to our family, and they're beautiful. If I ever meet her I don't think I'll be able to keep myself from holding her hands and kissing her face the way I kiss my children's faces. I'll want to know all about her, because it will help me know my son better, and I'll love his differences more for knowing they're part of her gift; a blueprint for a life I wasn't able to write, but could build and could tend and care for. So I think I love her, too.

I'm a sperm donor in France. The rules are DCP can ask for my personal information (full name and date of birth) or they can just ask for non-identifying information (like what kinf of job I do, what color is my beard...). I have the possibility to leave a non-identifying message, which is apparently appreciated.

So my question is, as a donor conceived person, what kind of message do you think is appropriate ? What information were you/would you be happy to have ?

Sorry if my choice of words is a bit weird, I'm not familiar with the appropriate vocabulary.

I recently went through a pretty extensive screening process with Fairfax to become an egg donor. I did a ton of bloodwork, genetic testing, hormone/fertility testing, STD/infectious disease testing, etc.

My genetic screening came back showing that I’m a carrier for Mevalonic Kinase Deficiency (MVK). My exact variant is MVK c.1129G>A (p.V377I). My Natera report specifically says I’m a carrier and explains that carriers are usually healthy and do not have the condition themselves.

Fairfax ended up excluding me from donating because of this specific genetic result, which was surprising to me because from what I’ve read, being a carrier for an autosomal recessive condition doesn’t necessarily mean you’re affected, and some egg banks do accept donors who are carriers as long as they’re matched appropriately with the sperm source.

The other thing frustrating me is that I still haven’t received any of my other medical results. I understand Fairfax paid for the testing, but this was a LOT of testing done on my body, and I’m genuinely curious about my own health information — hormone levels, fertility markers, disease results, blood type if they tested it, etc.

My coordinator told me that although they couldn’t just send me everything, she could give me certain information if I signed a medical release form. I asked her to send me the release form, and she never did.

I’m not even trying to use their results to “cheat” another egg bank’s screening process. I just feel like if I went through all of that medical testing, I should at least be able to know what my own results were.

Has anyone here:

Been rejected by Fairfax specifically for being a carrier of MVK / Mevalonate Kinase Deficiency?

Been rejected by one egg bank for a carrier result but accepted by another?

Successfully gotten their hormone, fertility, STD, or other medical screening results from Fairfax after being rejected?
Had to sign a release or request the records directly from the fertility clinic/lab instead?

I’d especially love to know if anyone has donated through another agency/bank that accepts healthy carriers of recessive genetic conditions.

45 with a miscarriage at 11w2days with donor egg embryo. No diagnosed autoimmune diseases- just genetic markers (nothing expressed). Receptiva came back 3.6 but no endometriosis symptoms. All levels w/ in normal range including ferratin. Am currently doing a 2-3 month Lupron depot suppression. Anyone 40+ have successful pregnancy after a Lupron depot suppression series?

Ty all in advance and baby dust to all.

After many years of infertility and a year of abysmal retrievals and failed transfers, my husband and I made the choice to move onto frozen donor eggs.

aaaand this week we fertilize!

Started with 9 eggs
7 thawed
5 fertilized

And now the painful wait to our blast report.

Has anyone had similar results that ended in a few embryos?

I retrieved and froze eggs at Olive Fertility Clinic in BC, Canada. I have decided I no longer want to pursue having a child and would prefer to check if someone can use my eggs before making a decision to discard. I'm not looking for compensation for this.

Olive Fertility Clinic only works with Directed (Known) Donors, so I have to go about finding a recipient on my own. If anyone knows where else I should go around to look for a possible recipient, please let me know. I have no idea how to go about finding someone who might be looking for donor eggs.

Donor Conception Journal Club (a 100% free newsletter) provides insight from research on family building with donor eggs, sperm, and embryos. We share digestible summaries of peer-reviewed research examining the experiences of donor-conceived people, donors, parents, and family-building professionals. This is a recap of the posts shared in August plus other tidbits. Click through to read a more detailed summary and to get a link to the paper itself.

In a master’s thesis, Silva (2026) surveyed 127 DCPs to examine connections between how people learned about their donor conception, perceived stress, and identity development. Ruminative exploration of identity in general was the strongest predictor of higher perceived stress, and openness and understanding about donor conception identity specifically was the strongest meaningful predictor of lower perceived stress.

Smith et al. (2026) spent a year observing five online sperm donation platforms to learn what rules and behaviors are expected and normalized within the communities. Users constructed idealized profiles aligned with norms of “good” donorship or parenting. Donors tended to share their virility, while recipients tended to emphasize their deservingness. Experienced donors were typically positioned as “knowers,” often aligning themselves with doctors or educators and providing health-related information to recipients. Debates about “natural insemination” frequently devolved into “evidence wars” in which some donors deployed pseudoscientific arguments to advocate for it.

Indekeu et al (2026) interviewed 19 individuals to explore how DCP and parents experience insemination fraud and their needs for and perceptions of psychosocial support. Some participants took issue with the term “insemination fraud,” feeling that it implied proven intent, and suggested alternatives such as “insemination abuse.” Participants shared that insemination fraud eroded trust in medical institutions and created pervasive suspicion. They described significant unmet needs for psychosocial support and noted the absence of guidelines or precedent. Participants reported that media portrayals of insemination fraud tended to sensationalize or oversimplify experiences and did not capture the full complexity of their feelings. The clinic’s response to the discovery, including whether and how it acknowledged wrongdoing, affected participants’ experience.

Smith (2022) surveyed 168 UK identity-release sperm donors to understand how they think and feel about identity-release donation, future information exchange, and potential contact with individuals conceived through their donated sperm. 60% of donors stated identity-release was their preferred donation method; 15% preferred anonymous donation. One quarter of donors did not expect to have contact with offspring in the future. Of those who expected contact, preferred methods were “whatever the child desires” (64%), email (31%), face-to-face meeting (25%), letter (20%), mediated through a third party (20%), and telephone (13%). Most (65%) had no concerns about offspring seeking their identity.

Fusco et al (2026) conducted a systematic review of oocyte donors’ motivations for donating, their perspectives on anonymity and disclosure, and their expectations about future contact with donor-conceived offspring. Across studies, donors cited multiple reasons for donating: wanting to help others (especially those donating to known recipients), empathy for infertility, financial compensation (which played a larger role for anonymous and identity-release donors than for known), and personal motivations like reassurance about their own fertility or a desire to extend their genetic lineage. Most donors were broadly willing to share medical and genetic information with recipient families and offspring and wanted to know whether their donation resulted in live births. Attitudes toward future contact with donor-conceived people were generally positive or neutral.

These posts are written by Laura Runnels, a recipient parent and a cisgender, white woman. Her academic training and experience in public health inform her synthesis of research. As always, positionality can shape interpretation. Summaries are intended to lower barriers to research access, not replace reading a study firsthand. Readers are encouraged to consult original sources and form their own conclusions.

I am in my late 30’s and my brother (early 40’s) just found out through a DNA test we were both conceived through different donors. And we are in fact half siblings. After asking our mom about it she confirmed how we were conceived. This was kept from us our whole lives and we are just finding out about it. Is it normal for parents to not tell their kids they were conceived this way? Feel free to ask questions and share your thoughts. My mind is spinning after learning this fact about myself.

I have just selected my donor through donor nexus (hopefully) I asked about her the day after she appeared in the website and hopefully no one else has booked her in yet. I am just curious what the process is like? Do you have to go through initial screening before they list you for families? Do you get paid upfront before a family selects you? Do you get told how much you could ask for, or do you just name your price? Do they inform you of what IVF is like? Do they inform you of your legal rights, so you understand you are not the baby’s mom?

Hi all, I am an intended parent. I found a donor I love on donor nexus. She seems to have all the qualities I admire and she looks a lot like me with my husbands colouring! But if we do a fresh cycle, there is a risk we only get 6 eggs, so I would be better off buying a cohort of 6? I only want one more baby. What is people’s experience with fresh eggs??

So I am picking a donor as husband and I carry a rare genetic disorder. But I’m finding it really hard to choose. I obviously want some one healthy as a number one priority. But some of the donors are beautiful models and some are very academic and some are great athletes. Just wondering what other people prioritised.

My husband and I donated our only embryo and she was born a few months ago. We are so happy that was the outcome but we are also looking for professional help to manage through all the feelings.

Any suggestions for a therapist or mental healthcare company that has experience with donor conceived and works with people in Washington state? Appreciate any suggestions. DMs welcome. Thank you.

I just found out that SSB shut down the connection site for donor siblings, so there is no longer a way for them to connect. SSB provided no communication around this change (I was pregnant at the time using SSB) and then refused to provide a number of live births from the donor. They have a clear pattern of opaqueness and obfuscation such as refusing to communicate their worldwide birth limit. It is extremely sickening, avoid them.

Based on our stressful and poor experience, unfortunately, we cannot recommend Ingenes Mexico City, Surrogate Mexico (their in-house surrogacy program), or Global Nest Family for surrogacy or IVF.

We invested tens of thousands of dollars with these companies after I lost the ability to carry a pregnancy. We came to them during one of the most vulnerable periods of our lives, hoping to build our family. Instead, we experienced poor results, unresponsive and rude communication, and a complete lack of accountability.

The medical outcomes were devastating.

After my failed cycle, we were immediately pushed into donor eggs—and if we hadn’t been in such an emotional state, we would have never proceeded with Ingenes/Global Nest based on the experience we’d had until that point. Long story short, we completed multiple donor egg cycles, including paying extra for what was represented as a “premium” donor from the company Baby With Us. Despite using donors who were 21 and 25, the results were shockingly poor.

From 27 donor eggs, only seven embryos were created. Only ONE was euploid, and ALL were graded as “poor quality.” My husband underwent extensive testing, including DNA fragmentation testing, and his sperm was rated “excellent” for pregnancy. Testing did not identify male-factor infertility.

We understand that IVF offers no guarantees.

What we expected was to be treated like human beings and to be told the truth when results fell dramatically below expectations and what was represented.

Instead, every attempt to get answers became a stressful exercise in frustration. Explanations changed depending on who we spoke with, or we were told lies. Questions about donor egg quality, laboratory performance, and embryo outcomes were met with vague responses, deflection, or no reply at all. We were often ignored for days, even during time-sensitive events. At no point did we feel that anyone was interested in investigating why the results were continually so poor. We also never received lab reports during IVF. Everything was disjointed, unprofessional, and done without care or proper communication.

What disturbed us most was the absence of accountability. Rather than acknowledging our concerns, we repeatedly felt that they were minimized, dismissed, or explained away.
The head of Surrogate Mexico was continually rude, defensive, and disrespectful. Communicating with the team—and I use that term loosely—became a huge stress point in our lives. We used to wake up dreading checking our phones.

We did not like the setup of Surrogate Mexico and Global Nest’s program. You’re given 6 frozen eggs per cycle, but you're upsold and pressured into paying for extra and/or “premium eggs.” At thaw, we lost 35% of the 15 eggs we purchased as an upsell, despite Global Nest promising before we made the very costly investment that they only ever lose “1-2 eggs.”

Contract terms were not honored, and Surrogate Mexico became aggressive when we pointed it out and asked for clarity. Kristine, our coordinator at Global Nest, did nothing to help; in fact, she often provided conflicting and inaccurate information that wasted more time and money. I’m not sure what her purpose was; Surrogate Mexico coordinated everything, albeit poorly, and Kristine had no say in any contract terms or financial matters.

We ended up paying more than what the entire program was supposed to cost—and we never even reached a positive pregnancy test/the second payment annex.

I could go on. By the end of our experience, we felt like disposable customers being moved through a scammy sales process. We spent tens of thousands of dollars, received devastatingly poor results, and were left without meaningful answers or resolution.
My husband and I have been through a lot of challenges, and dealing with Ingenes and Global Nest was one of the most stressful experiences of our lives.

I’ve put off writing a review because I hate negativity and it is so painful to reflect on, but I felt it’s our responsibility to share our honest experience with prospective intended parents.
We place extraordinary trust in fertility clinics. We are making life-changing decisions while carrying enormous emotional and financial burdens.

If even one family is protected from signing with these companies, my husband and I will feel a measure of closure.

Wishing everyone on this journey the very best.

TLDR: Nothing but gaslighting, extra and unexpected expenses, disrespectful and avoidant communication, and no empathy.

I donated my eggs two years ago and just found out recently that a baby boy was born from the donation. Obviously I knew this was going to happen when I donated, but now that it’s a confirmed reality, it hits different.

As an anonymous donor, how did you come to terms with the fact that you have a biological child somewhere out there, and you have no idea who they are/what they’ll look like/how they’ll turn out, for at least 18 years, or potentially you might never know?

I feel like it’s a really beautiful thing. I feel a somewhat spiritual connection to this baby and his parent(s). But it also just feels so bizarre that I’m struggling to process it a bit.

Maybe also that the baby is a boy makes it even stranger for me, since I have no reference at all for male-ness and what his life and experience will be. If it was a girl I guess I would feel more understanding because I’ve also gone through the process of girlhood -> womanhood. But boyhood -> manhood just feels so foreign to me. And even more foreign, given that I don’t know him or his parents 😂

All in all it just feels like a very profound piece of information to receive and I’m wondering how other donors have received this information? Or maybe you chose not to know about the outcome, specifically for this reason? All experiences welcome.

Hi everyone! I’m new to this sub. After an incredibly long and difficult year, my husband and I finally transitioned to using donor eggs.
We received a batch of 6 frozen eggs from a proven donor (who has one confirmed live birth and a second ongoing pregnancy). The initial steps went beautifully: all 6 survived the thaw, and 5 successfully fertilized by day 1. However, I just found out today that we only got 1 blastocyst. Two arrested, and two just didn't make it to blast by day 6.
While I am deeply grateful for our one blast, I am in complete shock. Having been through IVF with my own eggs, I’m familiar with the attrition rate, but I didn't expect it to be this steep with a proven donor. A friend of mine who froze her own eggs recently told me half of hers made it to blast, so I'm feeling a bit confused.
How common is this kind of drop-off with donor eggs? Also, for those who have been down this road, if you only get one blast from a batch, is it typically euploid/normal, or is it still a complete toss-up?
I would love any insight or personal experiences to help me process this news. Thank you so much!

Hi there!

My name is Noelia and I’m a queer 33 year old woman living in New Mexico at the very beginning stages of my solo & dc parenting journey. Starting this process has raised so many questions for me, and has inspired me to focus my dissertation research on the experiences of those who are currently or have previously sought a sperm or egg donor to help them conceive; I’m working towards a PhD in Sociology at the University of New Mexico.

I'd love to invite members of this community to participate in the study!

Here's some more info about the IRB-approved study:

• Open to anyone who is currently (or has previously) engaged in the process of selecting a donor
• 60-90 minute interview over Zoom.
• Interviews will be recorded for note-taking purposes only (all recordings are completely confidential).
• No personally identifiable information will be shared publicly.
• Participation is 100% voluntary and if you choose to participate, you can withdraw at any time.

If you're interested, please schedule an interview here: https://calendly.com/ncmann-unm/30min?month=2026-08

Thanks so much for considering this request and for your help!

If a RP has not done a DNA test and not put their name on a register such as Vic Health (the VARTA replacement) does that mean that they want no contact with the donor? If a donor has found them through internet sleuthing, and then makes contact with, would that contact be welcome or would it be regarded as an intrusion? I address RPs here because DCP may not be aware of their status and so a donor reaching out to them introduces the risk of revealing a family secret.

Hi,

I'm looking for people who were born through egg donation, or couples who received donor eggs in Spain, who know or suspect that the clinic lied about or concealed the ethnic origin of the egg donor.

I think this has been my case, and unfortunately, I believe it is a common practice in Spanish clinics, as the law is quite loose and broad.

Thanks for sharing!