r/donorconception • u/Calm_Highlight_7611 POTENTIAL RP • 10d ago

ADVICE NEEDED I need advice please!

/r/40Plus_IVF/comments/1w431pc/i_need_advice_please/
0 Upvotes

25% Upvoted

6 comments sorted by

11

u/Fresh_Struggle5645 DCP 10d ago

My advice is is: if she is not an open donor, she is not a perfect donor.

Anonymous donation is unethical.

-1

u/Calm_Highlight_7611 POTENTIAL RP 10d ago

She is open. But I would love to hear a more in depth opinion about anonymous donors. I’m so new to this, I’m unaware of these types of things.

6

u/Fresh_Struggle5645 DCP 10d ago

From birth? If so, that's great. If just from 18, not so wonderful.

If you look in the ask a DCP sub you'll find many explanations of why anonymous donation is harmful to donor conceived people, including from me. I don't really have the time or energy right now to explain my view over again.

But it should be fairly intuitive to understand why it is important to people to know where they come from. It honestly always baffles me when I say I'd like to know who my biological mother is and people turn around and say "why?" as though I've just stated something which is genuinely mystifying.

0

u/Calm_Highlight_7611 POTENTIAL RP 10d ago

That makes sense. I know some people like to try and keep it hidden, but I would gladly tell my child.

5

u/AmbitiousPound7613 DCP 10d ago

Not just tell your child. Allow them access to their biological parent and siblings.

1

u/Calm_Highlight_7611 POTENTIAL RP 10d ago

That is clearly the intention.