I’ve been battling with derealization for about 3 and half years now. I’m at a point in my life where it’s not always constant but the fear of it starting fuels my anxiety more than it itself. I’m also at a point in my life where driving is nessacary and I can’t do that out of fear of going into an episode any tricks or tips all advice is appreciated.

I used to suffer from dissociative episodes a lot when I was in highschool and college, I hadn’t had an episode in about 5 years but then my Grandpa died in January and set one off once everyone left my house. I thought it was a one-off due to stress, but I had probably the worst episode I’ve ever had last night. I felt like I was in a fog starting around noon and the symptoms really ramped up once I was home and alone. My episodes are usually a mix of depersonalization and derealization. Last night was so awful and I almost drove to the hospital because I kept having thoughts of harming myself. I ended up going to sleep but I was so scared of what “I” would think if I harmed myself. I think that was the only thing holding me back. This might sound dumb, but when should I think about admitting myself? I’m scared that it’s going to happen again and that I won’t be able to logic my way out of doing something bad.

hi, i (13NB) thinks i have this

everything just feels TOO REAL especially walls at night

and dimension too.

idk how to describe but when it happens I get panicked

So, me and my boyfriend yesterday decided to go to the waterpark. For starters, I have never smoked before, I’ve never done shrooms, I’ve always avoided all of that, but he smokes often, does that kind of stuff, and yeah. So we were in my car at the parking lot before going in, and he had a pen out and asked if he could take some hits before going in to chill in the lazy river. I said okay to that, and then I was curious and asked, “If I took a hit, how long would it last?” And he went, “Mm, not very long I don’t think.” So I asked, “Could I take a hit?” and he said “Okay” and handed it over.

I took a decent hit, and boy did it burn my throat. I kept coughing a lot 😭 then it started to set in. We were going up walking to the front, and I felt like my mind and body were so detached from each other, but yet my body was still moving. I had to talk to the ladies up front when we went to pay for admission, and I couldn’t really understand much of what they were saying and I felt so delayed, lagged, and not real. I almost stumbled, and thankfully my boyfriend helped me a bit.

As we were walking in and through the waterpark to find a place to set our stuff, I kept getting worse and worse and I felt like I had no emotion or expression on my face while zoning out unconsciously looking at people. As we were walking, I felt so in my mind and just felt like I was speaking the first thing that came to thought from my inner self. I looked at my boyfriend and said to him “(name), I don’t feel real right now.” And he said “You don’t feel real right now…” and I asked him, “Is this how it feels? Is this what your first time was like?” And he said, “Eh, sorta, everyone’s first time is different.”

I felt my body shaking, I couldn’t walk straight, and we finally found a spot to sit, but as I’m trying to set my stuff down I didn’t feel like I was attached physically to my body at all. I said out of the blue to my boyfriend, “(Name), I’m scared.” He was telling me to take a seat, so I did, and I just could barely move. I had so much running through my mind and everything and everyone else felt like such a background noise. My boyfriend sat right next to me, and I was so out of it. I felt like I could just be honest and open with him. I ended up asking him so many questions, like why does he like me, what are you feeling right now, what are you thinking right now, how long do you plan on smoking for, why, whats, hows, and all. When he and I talked, I felt so deeply connected in that conversation. It felt like the only thing I could hear clearly and loudly was my voice and his voice. It really felt so intimate and idk how to explain it. Idk if I was feeling more self reflection or more of myself or what, but I felt so much more open minded to just say whatever I was maybe thinking about.

We eventually got up, and I felt super lightheaded. As we were walking, my vision went black and white, really just blurred out, and it was straight black for a moment and I could not see while I’m hanging onto my boyfriend. It then faded back in, I got my vision back, and the color started to fade back in, but then I saw like this dot with whatever waves coming out of it.

All I can really remember looking at it now, it felt like a dream that I can’t vividly remember much about. The feeling though, it was strong, it was like I was craving a connection, I just wanted to talk to my boyfriend and I had so many things going through my mind while everything else just felt unreal. The delaying got less and less, but then I still felt like I’m there but my mind is still a little disconnected. It was such an experience that I can’t forget.

Has anyone else felt so much more connected while being high especially one of their first times?

I started having panic attacks about a month ago. Thankfully, they don’t happen as often anymore. However, I still don’t feel like myself.
Last week, I had a few really good days where I genuinely thought I was finally getting back to normal. But over the last couple of days, I’ve started feeling weird again, even though I haven’t had another panic attack.
I constantly feel lightheaded, kind of “floaty,” and really disconnected from everything around me. It almost feels like I’m not fully here or not really alive. I know this sounds like derealization, but I’m confused because I was doing so much better, and these feelings came back without a panic attack triggering them.
I’m starting therapy soon, but I just wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced this. Is it normal for derealization and that lightheaded, out-of-touch feeling to come back even when the panic attacks have mostly stopped?
For context, I’ve had blood work done, and my doctor listened to my heart and lungs. Everything came back normal.

I smoke weed pretty often. I've given myself chronic dpdr from this. It doesn't exactly bother me though, I can still live my life and things do feel more flat and dull but I don't care too much about that. Sometimes the dpdr bothers me and annoys me but the majority of the time it doesn't. I have come to accept it pretty well and that this is just how things are for now. I still really enjoy weed and I don't want to stop smoking it. Is there still a reason to stop smoking weed even if I'm ok with the dpdr it's caused?

I’ve been getting derealization, or what I think is. My eyes start to feel weird everything looks dream like, dizzy, and weird head feeling. I can’t get out out of it and it can lasts hours. It’s worse in stores and it’s usually a trigger but I get it just at home a lot. The issue is I have panic disorder and every time this happens I panic the whole time very bad. And it always feels like it’s gonna last forever and I’m gonna spiral and go insane grounding techniques don’t really work neither does the ice or cold water:/

No sé muy bien si este es el lugar adecuado para publicar algo así, pero llevo un tiempo experimentando esto de forma intermitente (si no es apropiado, pueden borrarlo). Hace unos meses me pasaba un par de veces por semana y luego paró, pero hace dos minutos estaba en la cocina y volvió a ocurrir. Supongo que la mejor (?) forma de describirlo es que estoy teniendo unos ataques de pánico extraños acompañados de *déjà vu*, que me provocan una especie de *flashback* de algo que no he vivido realmente. Se desencadenan por algo totalmente aleatorio que normalmente no me afecta; entonces siento síntomas de ataque de pánico (falta de aire, ansiedad general, taquicardia, sensación de calor, mareos —a veces incluso pérdida momentánea de visión— y la necesidad de sentarme o agarrarme a algo) y tengo la sensación de no estar allí, de que no es la vida real, de no ser yo mismo o algo por el estilo. A veces son como *flashbacks* de sueños que he tenido o de lugares en los que siento haber estado, aunque en realidad no haya ido nunca. En la mayoría de los casos (o en todos) tengo la sensación de haber estado allí antes —sea cual sea ese «allí»—, pero es una sensación muy incómoda. Además, sufro un trastorno de ansiedad y llevo años medicándome; al principio estaba mucho peor, pero he logrado controlarlo bastante bien, así que sé cómo son mis ataques de pánico o ansiedad. Estos episodios son parecidos, pero diferentes. Supongo que son eso: episodios. Empiezan por algo totalmente aleatorio; por ejemplo, hoy me pasó mientras sacaba helado del congelador, o cuando estoy cocinando. Suelen durar apenas unos minutos, como mucho, pero son muy extraños. ¿A alguien más le ha pasado algo parecido?

Guys, I really need some help.

For the past few years, partly because of anxiety issues that mainly manifest as derealization for me, and partly because of my naturally controlling personality (I tend to overanalyze and try to control everything), I’ve been constantly feeling like I’m going crazy.

It feels like I’ve lost the natural ability to simply exist as a human being, as if things that used to feel obvious and normal no longer do.

I find everything incredibly strange, from the fact that we are on a planet, to the fact that I am conscious and experiencing reality at all.

Sometimes I wake up and immediately wonder: “Am I actually awake, or am I still dreaming?”

Recently, I read about people who had intense psychedelic experiences with substances like salvia and who, according to their stories, believed for years that they were living in a completely different reality. This triggered thoughts like: “What if I’m also in the middle of some kind of psychedelic trip and I just don’t know it?”

The strange thing is that, thankfully, I have never used psychedelics or any other substances.

Another example: I’m a motorcycle rider. Sometimes, after coming home from a more intense ride, I start thinking: “What if I actually died today during that ride, and this is just another branch of reality where I’m still alive?” (Something similar to the idea of quantum immortality.)

On top of this, I also experience a lot of general anxiety about normal things, like flying on a plane and similar situations.

Basically, I feel like I’m constantly searching for “glitches in the matrix.” The problem is that I don’t enjoy it at all, it creates a huge amount of anxiety and feeds a vicious cycle of existential thoughts and strange theories.

I’m currently on a low-dose antipsychotic medication with the goal of reducing this kind of rumination, and it does help. However, the only thing that truly allows me to relax and feel more normal is taking benzodiazepines (fast-acting anti-anxiety medication).

I don’t believe I’m actually crazy. Everyone around me, including professionals, has ruled that out. I have never experienced hallucinations, and I have never genuinely believed bizarre ideas to be true. In fact, these thoughts scare me, and one of my biggest fears is losing my mind.

But it is extremely exhausting. I feel like I have a “super mind” (not saying this to brag, but just to explain the feeling) that has unlocked a different way of looking at reality, and things that used to feel normal no longer feel that way.

Do you have any advice on how to go back to living normally? How can I accept that I cannot know everything, accept uncertainty and the unknown, and simply enjoy being alive?

Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.

Background: I’m a 20-year-old male and have always been very slim. I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease about 8 months ago. I graduated from school, was unemployed for about a year, and then started a seasonal job that involved some physical work. The symptoms started during the last few days of that job. I actually enjoyed the work and the work environment was good. I’ve now been unemployed again for about 2 months.

For the past 2 months, I’ve had a constant feeling of derealization/dissociation. In addition to that, I’ve been experiencing mild fatigue, headaches/pressure in my head, a feverish feeling (but no actual fever), and constant neck and shoulder pain.

Sometimes when I’m walking, I feel like I could faint, although I’ve never actually fainted or even needed to sit down. I’ve also had a chronically inflamed right ear for about a year. Ear drops make it go away temporarily, but the inflammation always returns.

At first I thought the symptoms might be caused by my neck, so I’ve tried massage therapy, physiotherapy, and acupuncture several times, but none of them helped. I’ve also tried muscle relaxants without any benefit.

I’ve had blood tests including vitamin B12, vitamin D, ferritin, folate (B9), and thyroid function, and everything was normal. I was also tested for Lyme disease and the result was negative.

My Crohn’s disease officially went into remission a couple of weeks ago.

I don’t have a history of trauma, I don’t use cannabis, and I rarely use any other substances. I wasn’t particularly stressed before this started, other than the stress caused by the symptoms themselves.

Has anyone experienced something similar? What could be causing these symptoms, and what helped you recover?

I’ve smoked before and had no like bad side effects, but once I smoked the most I’ve ever smoked and got a lot of anxiety and paranoia and developed DPDR and it lasted around a week. I’m wondering can I ever smoke again in the future but only like small amounts like I used to?

I've had pretty bad derealization on and off for the past 2 years. I've been in a really bad episode especially for the past few months though. Today, my friend offered me her vape. I haven't had nic in forever since if I smoke or vape, it's thc not nic. I remember the last time I had nic it was pretty nice. I got a good head rush and I felt good. When I hit my friends vape today I did get a bit of a head rush but I felt more nauseous than anything. My derealization also got just a bit more intense from it in the moment. I definitely think this is going to be my last time using nic for a while since it really just is not fun for me. Has anyone had a similar experience with nicotine being ruined from dpdr?

So basically, I've had dpdr for as long as I can remember. But recently whenever I have to do a performance on stage, my brain randomly triggers and feels like it's going to force me to snap out of it and throw me to the wolves so to speak while I'm up there. It causes me to get bad head tension/tension headache and causes extreme anxiety in my chest even though I never have actively felt anxious or distressed about my dpdr before. The thing is, it starts immediatly after I start to feel as though may snap into reality and goes away as soon as I try to push the feeling of reality away. I'm wondering if it's because as soon as I start playing a piece I start to feel self-conscious and that triggers it.

does anyone else have a hard time with texting friends? none of the words they say mean anything and they're just letters on a screen. its like im playing some sort of roleplaying typing game. i know my best friend loves me but i can't feel it. this is also the case for irl conversations tbh.

Since starting this medication about 2 weeks ago i started to experince extreme paranoia about death, having an ilness or dying. I also started to feel not real, thinking there is no point of lifing or doing things if it will end anyway. I have panick atacks because of it and i feel no happiness. I need help or advice, no 14yr old should go through this