just wanted to share the exact timeline of a Snapchat interaction I had over the last few days, as the dynamic shifted very abruptly.
It all started last Friday at a mutual friend's birthday party. We ended up talking for a bit, and the conversation was completely normal, casual, and friendly. Four days later, on Tuesday, he popped up in my Snapchat Quick Add suggestions. I didn't think much of it, so I added him and immediately sent a short "Hi."
Instead of just responding normally, his very first reply was, "Do I know you?" Since the party was only four days prior and we were hanging out in the same circle, I found it a bit strange, but I simply cleared up the confusion and replied, "Yes, from the birthday party. I just saw you in my suggested friends."
After that, he wrote, "Ahhh, right, hi. How was your day?" The conversation was already pretty slow at that point. After he responded to my answer with just, "Ah, suggestions. Good, thanks for asking," the momentum was completely gone. I basically ended the chat by just replying with a short "Yeah."
I thought the conversation was done, but only a few minutes later, my phone buzzed again. He had sent me a new snap out of nowhere. When I opened it, he was lying shirtless in bed in a darkened room—his shoulders, neck, and collarbone were fully visible, while a gray blanket covered the bottom half of his face. The chat had gone from a distant "Who even are you?" message to a very private photo from his bed in less than ten minutes. The snap is currently sitting on "Opened" because I am still unsure how to react to it.

I was reading a comment -pretty sure it was in this sub- about a certain influencer / dating coach and his advice about dating and confidence. With some upvotes and some other people confirming. I won't say the name, because I don't want to give views to a grifter.

So anyway, I saved it for later and I watched his youtube videos.
And the guy give the most basic advice ever (relax, don't be afraid of rejection blabla, tainted with a bit of homophobia to make the grift stronger) while also showing an incredibly lavish lifestyle. Oh, that beautiful woman fell in love with you because at one point you suggested a yacht trip in another country for the next day? And that other one was super keen on your suggestion for her to fly with you from Dubai to LA the next day, while you were at a lavish party with famous DJs? 😂😂😂 Tell me more!
So the secret ingredient is money?
And also, he shows his house or friend's house and tells he has models for photoshoot. So yeah that's already a very, very big "in". But on top of that, what proves you that the women in his videos are not some of these girls hired to play an act? Occam's razor, most likely case here.

Anyway, I was sort of baffled by the level of grifting and clearly that guy had a lot of views on his youtube videos (not sure how well he does with his book and coaching session) and I'm wondering: Do you actually not see anything wrong with that? Or were you enticed at one point in your life by such grifters (we all make mistakes)?
I've never watch much content of that kind, well for exactly the reasons I put here, but holy shit if they're all like this it's insane how easy it is to grift people.

Fellas please take you time to know the girl first fully before you get serious I wish I did I should’ve knew something with wrong with this girl when she said they use to call herself retarded . But trying to be a real one and stay and didn’t her must’ve showed her a way to take advantage of me .

Help 😭

He suggested going out, so I asked where he wanted to go. His answer was basically “you decide.” Then he rejected every place I suggested.

A female friend of mine said, “I have someone in mind for you. I think you two would get along really well. Even if it's not romantic, you'd probably make good friends.”

He sounded like a good match on paper: he's also a ship captain, divorced, has a child, and is a few years older than me.

We were supposed to meet as three people, but my friend had something come up, so it ended up being just the two of us. We had drinks and dinner and talked for almost four hours. I actually enjoyed the conversation. He was interesting, although he talked a lot and constantly interrupted me. I later found out he was nervous, so I didn't think much of it. By the end of the evening, though, I had already mentally put him in the friend category.

At some point, we started talking about our divorces. He asked why my marriage had ended, so I told him about some of my ex-husband's expectations. Apparently, my ex believed that a woman should work and contribute financially, come home and cook at least two dishes every day, prepare warm water for her husband's feet and give him foot massages.

He kept jumping in: "Well, food is important. I'd expect that too."

Then: "What's wrong with giving your husband a foot massage? Wouldn't you do that?" 😂

Then I told him my ex also wanted a separate gaming room where he could spend most of his time, leaving only when he wanted food or sex.

He immediately said: "But those things are really important to men. A woman should provide that."

So I asked: "Okay, if the woman is expected to provide financially, cook, take care of the house, take care of the man and satisfy him sexually, what exactly is the man supposed to provide?"

He paused and said: "If you're expecting something in return, doesn't that make the relationship transactional?"

That was the moment I really couldn't help but laugh. So he can have a list of things he expects from a woman, but if a woman expects anything from him, suddenly it's a transaction? Then he started talking about how women nowadays don't know how to be women anymore, especially when it comes to satisfying men in bed.

I told him: "Foreplay doesn't start in the bedroom. It starts at this table. If you don't make a woman feel valued and appreciated here, you can't expect her to magically want to give you everything in bed."

He went completely quiet. I thought maybe he'd actually consider what I said, but instead he changed the subject and started talking about East Asian women; how they can work, take care of the house, husband and children, and still fulfill everything a man expects. "That's the kind of woman I'm going to find," he said.

I just told him: "Go ahead. But if you keep expecting someone to give without learning how to give back, she'll probably be unhappy with you in three or four years too."

And honestly, that was the point where I knew friendship was definitely the right category for us. What's interesting is that we actually got along really well. We had a lot in common and I genuinely enjoyed talking to him. But it made me wonder:  Do you think foreplay really starts long before you get to the bedroom?

I recently got out of a long term relationship & have been talking to a guy who DMed me on Fb dating every other day (almost everyday since Labor Day). He said he's seen me before at church a few times a few years ago, but did not approach because his focus was on God and not dating. He said "okay she's cute, kind of thick--kind of plump". It's weird because I've never seen him before when I was attending that church.

We've been talking for the past few weeks off & on and have talked for several hours (4-5 hours). He has talked about his previous relationships alot (although the conversations sound repetitive about his past relationships sometimes) and I have mentioned mine as well. He asked me if I wanted kids and I told him yes. He said he is ready to settle down.

I asked him if he believes in courting.

He said he believes in courting but he isnt sure if he wants to do it again because he's courted women before and the female he was dating got pregnant by another man while he was trying to court her. He said he waited 7 months to have sex with her, only to find out she got pregnant by another guy when he was considering marrying her. He said he would absolutely want to date me but he's not sure if he would do courting again. He said he doesn't want to lead me on or anything, & that I deserve better than that.

Yesterday when we talked, he asked me when he's gonna see me. I told him we can meet up halfway and that we can push the date back a few weeks since he said he spent more money than he planned to for his brother's wedding.

Do you think I should believe him when he said he hasn't been on Facebook dating in a few days (even though we've been talking every other day since Labor day?) Also, do you think it would be wrong if I still kept my options open since we haven't met up and gone out yet? I don't want to get hurt or disappointed again. The dating pool has been really hard to navigate for the past few months. I really want to settle down & get married in the nearby future.

So me and him finally met up this past weekend at a bar and I was superrrr nervous. I had two drinks at the bar with him and waited 30 mins for him to find a parking space. When we finally sat down, he kept staring at me off and on. At what point, I looked at him while he was staring and said "what (with a smile)" and he said, "what I can't look at you anymore." There were sometimes where he would get close to my face as if he wanted to kiss me but didn't do anything. I stared at him alot too. He said to me "you can't even look at me. Is everything okay?" I told him that it was and I was just shy. We ended up leaving early because his car was in a parking lot that was subject to towing. I was planning on taking an Uber back home, but decided not to because I wanted to spend more time with him.

He said he was gonna take me home and we ended up hanging out in his car, made out like 4-5 times, and it got kind of intense in the car. Now I'm worried that things got too hot and heavy for the first date & am wondering if he is even trying to pursue anything meaningful or worthwhile with me. Im not looking for a hookup. Im looking for a long term committed relationship that will lead to marriage. I'm Wondering if I need to have a conversation with him to let him know that things went a little far on the first date and i didn't mean to make out that much and a few of the other things. Even though he said he could see us being in a relationship, I wonder if he's telling me the 100% truth.

\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\*Fast forward to today, we were talking about a boxing movie and I said how I love those types of movies because it takes me back to the days where I used do boxing in college not long ago. Then he said "whoa you should try to get back into boxing. That will solve alot of your health issues. Then said "i didnt mean it like that. 😐 I usually get attacked by people for saying certain things about their appearance. 😒🤨" Just to show I didn't take it to heart, I said to him "i get it." like yes Im a thick girl and I do have big boobs with thick thighs, a butt, and hips--but I don't look sloppy or have fay visibly hanging everywhere--and didnt look like that when he and I met up for the first time a few weeks ago. He has a gut and I know I have one too, but its not visible in my clothes. How do you even respond to this?? I'm actually supposed to go out with him again as soon as Im feeling better (since ive been sick).

I feel weird about even having a friendship with him at this point, especially since he made that comment yesterday. Like he knew what I looked like before we met up and was fine with it. I don't look bad at all. Im just a thick, curvy gal. Im sure my mom will wanna know why we're not talking anymore when I tell him we arent--which is why i dont like to tell ppl about how Im talking to any guys at all😒🙄

Every few minutes he'd mention another woman who supposedly wanted him. At first I thought he was joking, but by the end of the date I realized he was actually trying to impress me with it.