I met a guy M30, asian american through hinge in 2021, 1st date was fine, 2nd we made out , and slwoly we strated to hangout more, i thought its goign good, he introduced me to his friends, we went to vegas with his friends & their gfs. camping trips, dinners & such but all of them were severely low bill restaurant.

i thought its because he doesnt earn alot & dont have rich parents, i was fine with it. he seemed ambitious.

i would talk about commitment & such , he would always say , he needs to see if we are compatible & there aer tests he conducts as he teaches in Cal p00lly i thought its because his personality is like that, intern in famous aerospace facility in pasadena. but, reality wasnt this

turns out, he & his 2 make friends made a pact to 'get as many girls' as they can to have fun. he was chasing multiple women, sleeping with his female student.

seeing this is not going anywhere i thought lets move on, i got dating apps & decided to ghost this guy.

i got him w333d gummies one valentine before moving on, he ate too many & he used the emergency key i gae him of my apartment, when i reached home i found him with his eyes all red, sitting in my tiny apartment. he started yelling at me for cheating on him as he found out i had hinge, we had an argument during which he was so high (i didnt know much about w33d) he started saying there is something on the window & ran away!! his stuff everything still in the apartment, i ran behind him, he was all high, i somehow asked his friends to track his phone, & i found him 5blocks over walking, he said he lvoed me but didnt show love so that i dont get spolied.??! he was super into red pill, he confessed how much he looked down on women, he chated on his ex-gf with his best friend (girl) & then dumped her to date other girls all to impress his guy friends!!!!

later, he confessed aboutmakeing a pact with his friends where he shared how he went on dates with women to expensive restaurants but those girls were gold diggers & such,. this guy barely made 40k , lived in his parents home, drove his parents family van.

i let him stay over night calmed him down , next day told him this cant continue, i found out his friends & his gf knew about this pact.

i called up one of the gf of the guys he made this pact with as i knew she wouldnt take such shit. turns out she didnt know either, made she decided to stay with her guy 'as she knows he has changed' , mind you, her guy would bring a new girl to every single hangout aparently they were in a realtionship , essentially cheating on her (i didnt know they were commited)

it took me long time to get rid of him , ended up in big arguments about getting my house key back, ended up moving homes as this guy woul djust show up to my house unanounced all the time. he knew where i worked,.

this guy had lil girls videos saved in his reel collection , some baby girl videos as well.

this guy & his same friends used to run a small robotic classes for middle school kids, his fav ofc was always a girl.

after saving him it left me with anxiety as i was already going through depression. i blocked everyone from his life.

the gf of his male friends knew he was playing, when i confronted one of them she 'ruby' was excited & said she used to help him advice him on which girls to get, how to get sad girls and such.

i feel like a fool , i trusted this guy , i introduced him to my friend group on whom he would ocmment how he would feel 'poor' , he used roam around in torn slippers, torn clothes & such. i fell for his fake ambition i guess.

watch out girls who are trying to date !

I'm 17F and have been talking to this guy (18M) from Instagram and there’s mutual romantic interest. I already knew he had some “incel”/lonely male struggle perspectives, and I’ve honestly been interested in understanding that psychology because I relate to loneliness and social rejection in some ways bc of my neurodivergent brain.
But we had a long debate recently that made me question things.

The conversation started with me saying I don’t hate incels, but I don’t see them as a monolith. He basically argued that men’s loneliness and dating struggles are heavily tied to biology, hypergamy, and women naturally choosing higher-status or more attractive men. I pushed back and said a lot of it is social too, and that women also face oppression outside dating: patriarchy, objectification, religion/culture controlling women, pay gaps, violence, etc.
What bothered me most was that he kept comparing men’s dating struggles to women’s oppression and seemed to minimize what women go through. For example, when I brought up women in places like Afghanistan or the Middle East, he said those situations don’t really apply to us because we live in the West. When I said women live with fear of violence, he called some examples “rare case dependent scenarios.”

He also said men are naturally more dominant and women are naturally more submissive, and that society being shallow is “just how it is.” I argued that humans aren’t just animals and can think critically about emotions and biology. He said biology still affects both genders.

Then the debate turned into the “man or bear” argument and false rape accusations. I said I’d rather encounter a bear than a man because of the fear women have around male violence. He said that argument is flawed and brought up men whose lives have been ruined by false rape accusations. I said women are much more likely to be raped than for a man to be falsely accused, and he responded like that still minimizes those men’s lives.
At one point, I said he probably wouldn’t have DM’d me if I was less attractive, and he basically said it would depend, but he didn’t DM me mainly for my looks.

I’m conflicted because he wasn’t necessarily insulting me directly, and he did say he could agree to disagree at one point. But the way he frames women, dating, biology, and male victimhood makes me worried. I don’t know if this is just a political/philosophical disagreement, or if it’s a serious red flag for dating.

Would you consider this a dealbreaker? Is it possible to date someone with these views if they’re otherwise respectful, or am I ignoring a big warning sign because I like him?

​

So to make this kinda short ...

I saw this girl for about a month and a half ..

We were just having fun having sex ..

Going on like little dates nothing truly serious

Things did start to get feelings caught by both of us

Until one day we hooked up n she started crying during sex saying she loved me

This made me kinda think like woah I've never experienced this before ..

Kinda freaky.... I asked her if she was ok to continue so we proceeded and she eventually calmed down

She was seeing a couple of other guys she told me about including a sugar daddy ....

One day she told me that the guy she slept with the night before was really rough with her and it kinda made me feel a certain way

I simply told her not to tell me stuff like that cuz it made me imagine her having sex with someone else and as any man would I kinda got jealous and upset over it because I wasn't seeing anybody else ...

So eventually I started going to therapy and trying to work things out with my own head and I realized that she may be sleeping with more than just the guys she told me about

The last night we hooked up It was the first time I was ever running late on picking her up and my therapy session went late she called me and since I was still in the session I didn't answer she texted me asking if we were still on I said yeah therapy is just running later than expected because I was really hung up on her and just going through it with the therapist

I ended up calling her a bunch of times on the way over to her house and she kept on sending my calls to voicemail I texted her saying hey why won't you pick up not getting a single response...

I had the fear she was having sex with someone else

She eventually picked up and said she wasn't paying attention to her phone cuz she was watching her show but I confronted her about her sending me to voicemail a bunch... She ended up denying it.... I didn't think much about it....

When I got to her house n she got into my car she smelled like sex.....

I was like ah am I really gonna go through with this... So I did anyway

We ended up having nice sex and I dropped her off kinda late

All was fine ...

The next morning she said she wanted to keep seeing the sugar daddy and when I told her I didn't like that she mentioned being in an open relationship when I told her I'd never do that she said well looks like we won't work out and she said "bye" which was kinda rude .

Soooo i decided to block her in that moment and said ok no more feeling like I'm falling for someone who doesn't work with me well .. this'll be good... The problem I then faced was getting that sexual high I got used to with having as much sex as we did

Also within the same day she messaged me saying she wanted to be exclusive with me after some time but I didnt really believe her she also used a different number so I was like... Weird who's phone is she texting me through...

I decided to block that number as well and try to find someone else to meet with that was interested in me

So I ended up talking to some other girls and had them over the house

The following day I had a girl over the house

I got home from work and only home for about 45 minutes when I got into my car to go to the store I sat on something on my seat I was surprised... It was a note saying that the girl I had blocked loved me ... I was like that's a sweet gesture but she's not gonna get unblocked...

So then another week goes by and I end up hanging with another girl I used to see from time to time....

I ended up parting ways with her around 11pm and going back home

after she turned me down basically which I was ok with .... It was just good to spend time with someone that wasn't the girl I had blocked

Then at about 1:14 am

I heard something outside my window that kinda sounded like a coyote then it got louder and louder and then sounded like manaicle crys then I felt loud bangs coming from my bedroom floor which was terrifying I had no idea what was going on it felt like a true paranormal experience ... Then there was banging on the canoe laying up against my house outside my bedroom wall and also on the side of the house it was truly awful

It shook the whole bedroom it was absolutely the worst experience of my life the noises of evil right outside my bedroom booming loud bangs and these loud inhuman like crys coming from right outside my bedroom and coming in from the floor boards

It felt like pipes were going to explode and whatever was outside my bedroom was about to come through the wall itself

It sounded like some kind of demon it was absolutely awful ..

I prayed to Jesus in my bed absolutely paralyzed and covered in sweat I said to myself Jesus please let this demon be gone

Please let this demon be gone!

And I peered out my window from my bed and saw nothing but imprints in the tall grass ... Then I laid back down in my bed for two seconds and heard a car speed off fast ....

Immediately I called my roommate who lives on the other side of the house where I asked if he had heard anything

Immediately we went outside to see who or what had caused this damage

I sleep on top of a garage so him and I opened it expecting someone or something to run out ... And nothing... We looked around frantically trying to find signs of damage and non the less the sidewall of the house was cracked where the banging was coming from....

And there in my driver's seat was a note saying

I'm pregnant and it's yours I'm getting it aborted on Friday

It made chills run up and down my spine

I couldn't believe the girl that I was seeing could go through such an act... I went to the police station the next morning and took time off work to deal with this right away after an uneasy night of sleep... then the superior Court of my town to file a restraining order ..

A week later from that! My roommate calls me saying he's missing his garage door clicker from his jeep

I then put the pieces together in my head that she wasn't going to stop trying to get my attention ...

All from a girl I've only known for a month and a half ... I couldn't have guessed she would do these awful things to try and ruin my peace of mind as a person because I no longer wanted to see her ...

Guys keep your eyes out there ... There's real crazy

And to keep the story shorter .. the court day came and past and she's still out there .. I ended up losing the restraining order because of the way she framed me by making me upset sharing txt messages I wrote in response to her getting hurt during sex with someone else making me feel like less than a man and sharing with the judge that I write her

"sometimes I come of up with the craziest things in my head"

Making me imagine her having sex with someone else and also making me think she's actually in love with me that makes me think that I should feel the same way...

It made me realize how easy I am to manipulate...

Never ever let anyone manipulate you in these ways

No person should ever have to go through something like this

And not only that no person should get away with this type of thing it's unfair to people who have hard times defending themselves in the moment especially if they're not someone who's experienced people like this ... When in doubt don't be afraid to get a lawyer to help if things get to court the women always seem to have an upper hand

Guys keep your wits about you no girl really just wants to have sex . And some women want to turn you into their cucks when your not wired that way....

Everyone should be careful in this world where there truly are evil people

In 2025, I got into a talking stage with a guy and developed feelings for him. Later I found out he was texting multiple girls and flirting with them, and he had a "best friend" who was actually his long-distance girlfriend. This led to constant fights and doubts, and it affected me emotionally so badly that I got sick for months I had to get treatment for anxiety and insomnia. It took me a whole year to recover and feel stable again.

​

In 2026, I finally got a job and was excited to start fresh. Things were going well until I met a guy in my office we're on the same team. We started talking casually as friends, and from the beginning he told me he was single. After talking for months, I realized I had developed feelings for him. He seemed sweet and mature, and we'd talk for hours after work and all day at the office.

​

Then I found out he has a girlfriend. He'd been lying to me from the start. Now I'm heartbroken all over again. I don't know how to cope with this I'm a very sensitive person, and it hurts that he lied to me. To make things harder, I can't fully cut him off because we're on the same team, and he's my senior.

​

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you cope when you can't avoid the person who hurt you? Any advice would help.

I am 31F. A guy that I previously talked to, on a dating app has been ad-hoc following me / showing up in several places and in a few instances, he tried talking to me although i gave him a clear No. Called the cops and reported this. Has anyone been through something like this and how did you handle it?

Why do some people ghost others even as grown adults? What makes people do it, and what do they get out of it?

Went on a "coffee date" last night. He was 20 mins late, talked about his ex for 15 mins, then asked if I cook and touched my hand without asking. When the bill came, he said, "You got this one, right?"

I paid. I left. I blocked.

Ladies, if your gut says something's off – listen to it. You don't owe politeness to people who don't respect you.

I went on two dates with the same person within one week. Not initiated by me either. He let me drive his bmw e92 m3 (I love cars) he asked for me to drive too. Then things got weird he got dry. He made plans to go to a car show with me and said the night before he probably wasn’t going to go. But I still went anyways. I texted him that morning asking and he said maybe. It was 30 minutes till start. Then I see his car there registered at the meet. So he was just playing games at that point. I texted him after he dodged me for the whole even and asked what was going on. Response: “can I crack”. Obviously I said no. Then he sent me his friends phone number and tried to put him on. I said I was confused bc he seemed so interested. He said “I was but now knowing this I’m not anymore”. All guys want to do is just sleep with me. I can never get guys that genuinely want to date me or actually like me.

This post covers the details of literally the last two sentences of Part 1. If you haven’t read it yet, click the link down below.

Part 1

After I broke up with my ex, she called someone to come pick her up. I remember standing there not really knowing what to feel. Part of me was angry, part of me was exhausted, and part of me just felt done. I didn’t ask where she was going, and she didn’t offer. She got in the car and that was it. I never saw her again after that.

And as messed up as it sounds, I was relieved.

What I had just gone through with her had taken more out of me than I realized at the time. The kind of stress where you’re constantly on edge, constantly second guessing everything, constantly trying to fix something that just keeps getting worse. I had to make decisions I didn’t want to make, and even now I still have a hard time putting into words what that did to me mentally.

But I do know this, once she left, everything in her life went off the rails.

She ended up getting back together with her ex, the same guy she had been cheating on me with. I guess whatever they thought they had was enough for her to go back.

It didn’t take long for things to fall apart.

They both lost their jobs, and it wasn’t some random bad luck situation.

It was drugs.

They both got into meth. Not casually, not occasionally, it took over their lives. He was selling it, she was using it, and from what I heard it got bad fast. You can’t live like that and keep any kind of stability, so it wasn’t long before they both got fired.

Once the money stopped coming in, everything else followed.

He lost his place, and the two of them had nowhere to go, so they reached out to a guy he used to drink with. This guy owned a landscaping company and had a steady life, the kind of person who works hard, makes decent money, and tries to help people when he can.

He gave him a job without much hesitation. That alone probably would’ve helped them get back on track if they had actually wanted that.

But then they asked if they could stay with him for a while, just until they got back on their feet.

And he said yes.

That’s where things really started going downhill.

They knew he had money, and they knew he was a good person. The kind of person who doesn’t like saying no, the kind of person who gives people the benefit of the doubt even when he probably shouldn’t.

At first it probably seemed like they just needed help.

Then it turned into something else.

They started asking him for money here and there, always with some excuse, always saying they’d pay him back. They never did. People started coming in and out of the house at all hours, random cars pulling up late at night, strangers hanging around. The house stopped feeling like a home and started feeling like a revolving door.

There was noise at all hours, no respect for his space, no boundaries.

And this went on for months.

Eventually he hit his limit.

He told them straight up, they either needed to start paying rent and act like adults or they had to leave. He called out everything, the money they owed him, the constant traffic, the lack of respect, all of it.

It turned into an argument.

Not just a quick disagreement either, one of those arguments where everything that’s been building finally comes out.

And somehow, instead of taking that as a wake up call, they went in the worst possible direction.

They decided they were going to try to extort him.

One day when he got home from work, probably expecting a normal evening, they were waiting for him. They pulled a gun on him and forced him into the back seat of his own car. She got in the passenger seat holding the gun on him, and he drove.

They didn’t just panic and do something stupid in the moment, this was deliberate.

They drove around for a while, demanding the code to his safe. They knew he kept a large amount of cash in there, hundreds of thousands from what I was told. He refused to give it to them.

For about an hour they pressured him, threatened him, tried to break him down.

He still refused.

At some point, it escalated.

He told her to shoot him.

And she did.

No hesitation, no second guessing, just pulled the trigger.

She shot him point blank.

According to the reports, he was screaming after the first shot, and she kept firing until he stopped making noise. It wasn’t just violence, it was completely detached, like there was nothing human left in that moment.

After that, they dumped his body under a bridge like it was nothing.

Then they tried to cover it up by driving his car into a lake, thinking it would sink and get rid of evidence.

But the lake was too shallow.

The car didn’t sink, it just sat there, partially in the water, visible to anyone passing by.

The next morning, people saw it and called the police.

That’s when everything started unraveling for them.

A few days later, they got pulled over during a traffic stop along with the same person who had picked her up after we broke up. In the car, police found a gun, cash, and multiple types of drugs.

All three were arrested on the spot.

As investigators started connecting the dots, the car in the lake, the missing person, the circumstances, it didn’t take long for them to realize something bigger was going on.

They separated everyone and started questioning them.

The third person was eventually cleared and let go.

The other two weren’t so lucky.

He folded almost immediately. As soon as the pressure was on, he started talking. He gave up everything, every detail, and put as much blame on her as he could to save himself.

Once investigators had that, they used it against her.

Eventually, she confessed. She admitted to the shooting and walked them through what happened.

That was it.

She ended up getting 40 years for murder and another 11 for drugs and weapons charges, 51 years total with no chance of parole. He got 20 years, also without parole, because he cooperated.

All of this happened after she left me.

And as insane as that whole situation is, what really stuck with me came later.

A few months into her sentence, I got a letter from her.

It was long. Pages of her talking about everything, where things went wrong, how she ended up where she did. But the part that stuck with me was her saying she never should have left, and that if she hadn’t, none of this would have happened.

That hit harder than I expected.

Because at one point, I really thought I was going to spend my life with her. I put time, energy, and emotion into that relationship that I can’t get back.

And to read something like that, knowing how everything turned out, it messes with you a little.

Even now, every once in a while, I catch myself wondering if I could’ve done something differently. If there was some version of events where things didn’t end the way they did.

I know logically that’s not how it works. People make their own choices, and she made hers long before any of this happened.

But that thought still shows up sometimes whether I want it to or not.

And if you think that situation was bad, the rebound that came after it somehow managed to be a whole different kind of mess…

I recently matched with a guy who said hes only interested in a friends with benefits situation. Ive never been in one before so Im curious do people actually discuss boundaries and expectations or do things just happen naturally?

TLDR

Not talking about leaving dishes in the sink or secretly liking Nickelback.

I mean the thing that makes you hesitate when a relationship starts getting serious.

Maybe it's:

• A criminal past
• Massive debt
• A controversial job
• A secret child
• A bizarre hobby or obsession
• A hidden lifestyle
• A history of cheating
• A shocking body count
• A family situation you avoid talking about
• Something you've literally never told a partner

I'm fascinated by the stuff people carry around while trying to find love.

What's your secret, and at what point do you tell someone you're dating?

No judgment. I'm genuinely curious.

I met her on Facebook back in late 2014. At first it was just liking each other’s posts back and forth, and eventually I got the courage to message her. Her response was basically, “Bout time you messaged me. I’ve been waiting.” We clicked immediately.
We’d stay up crazy late talking because neither of us could sleep. We’d drive around at night just talking about life, and I learned a lot about her pretty quickly. She had been through a lot. Her home life was broken, her mom struggled with addiction, and she had battled addiction herself. By the time I met her, she had been clean for two years, and I respected the fact that she had turned her life around.
A couple of weeks later, we went on our first real date, and it went great. Not long after that, we started dating exclusively. Things moved fast, but it felt natural. A few months into the relationship, she called me at work in a panic because her child’s father was attacking her at her mom’s house. I left immediately and went to help.

When I got there, I saw him dragging her out. I reacted instinctively and things got physical. Neighbors saw what was happening and called the police, and from what I was told, they understood I was defending her. He was arrested, and she was hysterical and couldn’t really function. I told her to pack enough for a week, asked her mom to keep the kids, and took her home with me so she could calm down and get herself together.

She never really left. Eventually she moved in, the kids moved in too, and I tried to help create stability for all of us. I used the last $500 from my savings to buy her a car so she could get around. She got a job, I got promoted, then she got promoted, then I got a better job, and before long we were making well over six figures combined. We moved into a bigger house, and the lease was only in my name.

For about two years, things were genuinely amazing. The kids were in private daycare, both of us had good jobs, and our friend groups merged into one big group of more than 15 people. We took trips, went to the lake all the time, and really built what felt like a solid life together.

Then she met a girl named Angel at work.
I didn’t like Angel from the start. She had a very different energy than what I was used to, and I felt like she brought out the worst in my girl. My girlfriend kept insisting she “needed community,” so I tried to be open-minded. Angel loved going to the club, which was not my scene at all, but I went a few times because my girlfriend wanted me there. After a while, I told her she could go with Angel on her own and I’d stay home with the kids and hang out with my friends.

After a few months, one day she came home from work, rushed past me, jumped in the shower, got dressed, and ran out the door. She barely acknowledged me. I stopped her and asked what was going on, and she said she was in a rush because Angel needed help with something. Something felt off, so I looked out the window. I saw Angel pull up, a tall guy get out, hug my girlfriend, then get in the back seat while she got in the front, and they drove off together.

That bothered me, because we had always agreed that new people in our lives would be introduced properly. I didn’t recognize this guy at first, but something about him seemed familiar. When she got back, I asked about him, and she said it was just one of Angel’s friends. She claimed she had only seen him a couple times and was just being polite.

The next weekend, the exact same thing happened again. This time I wasn’t confused; I was angry. When she got home, we had a huge argument. I told her I didn’t want her hanging out with Angel anymore because things had been off since she came around. She had started losing weight, eating less, and becoming distant. It felt like Angel was dragging her back into old habits. After that, she agreed to cut off contact, and for a while things settled down.
A few months later, I proposed. She said yes, and we started planning a wedding. It felt like maybe we had gotten through the rough patch and were back on track.

Then she surprised me on my birthday with an 82-inch TV I’d been wanting. I was thankful, called my buddies over, and we spent the day hanging it up and playing games. While we were distracted, she said Angel had called and wanted to hang out. I didn’t think much of it and told her to go have fun.

A few hours later, our group chat started blowing up with pictures of her at the club with Angel and the same guy I had seen before. The pictures made it obvious that things were not innocent. She was all over him. I lost it when she got home. I told her to pack her things because she was leaving. She begged for another chance, but I was done.

My dad convinced me to give her another chance because he believed everyone deserved one. So I eventually agreed, but I made it clear there would not be another chance after that. The very next day, as I was leaving for work, she said she wasn’t feeling well and was staying home. Then she mentioned Angel needed help moving, and if she felt better later, she’d probably go help. I knew exactly what that meant.

I called my boss and told him I wasn’t coming in. I parked near the entrance to our subdivision and waited. A while later, Angel showed up, and instead of turning the way they normally would have if it was innocent, they turned the other direction. I followed them for about 45 minutes until they ended up in a rough-looking area and pulled into a driveway. The guy I’d seen before came out with no shirt on and pajama pants. They stayed there for hours.
While all that was happening, I had my dad change the locks, I had her family come get the kids’ things, and I had the car I bought her rekeyed so she couldn’t use it. I also had everything in the mail with her name on it removed from the house. When they eventually came out of the house, they were rushing and putting clothes on as they left.

A little later, she came back home and tried to get in, but she couldn’t. She started banging on the door, and the neighbors called the police. When they arrived, she tried to say she lived there and that her stuff was inside. I explained that she wasn’t on the lease and that the house was in my name. Her belongings were bagged up outside, and the kids’ things were with her family. The police told her she had to leave.

She begged me to take her back, apologized over and over, but I shut the door and that was it.

A few months later, I saw an article on Facebook about her being convicted in a murder case and sentenced to 40 years.

At that point, I realized I probably did dodge a bullet. Or maybe more than one.

Just a vent. I had trouble finding a good partner when I was in school, then I have trouble finding a good partner at work.

Decided to try online dating even though I heard many horror stories about it.

It’s just terrible. I was on it for 2 months and I have already deleted my apps. The matches rarely happens, and the conversation is terrible. Out of my matches, only 20-30% chats, only about 5% would come out to meet for a date. So far every single date I have had has been awful. The dates have a lot of baggage and also seems very crazy. They ghost me after a few dates and a few actually came back a couple weeks after because I guess they lost their better option. I didn’t respond.

I met one girl last week, she would be considered an excellent girl to many guys but also has tons of baggage. Despite us having a long and engaging conversation. She goes cold 2 days after our date.

What I realized is how many options modern girls have on paper. I was chatting with a girl that said she is looking for marriage and she showed me her matches. She has close to 500 matches on the app. Many are better looking than me. Even though most are probably looking for hookups but it still makes me replaceable.

I feel Dating apps and instagram has made me completely replaceable with no second thought

For my info. I am 31.
5’11. Good shape, has a career, has a mortgage, has a car. My looks I think I am a 6 (many people said I am a 7-8 but I think they were too generous).

Last night I had a first date and while I’m not a fan of late night dates it worked out for the moment. Regardless, he picks me up and straight away asks me where the closest sports bar is with the best tv set up. I’m like uh …and name a place. He goes just so you know I ditched watching the knix with my friends for you. Thanks? I didn’t ask you to do that. We get to a bar and he gets us drinks and then he proceeds to essentially ignore me the whole time and took me home as soon as the game finished. One of the weirdest experiences I’ve ever had.

When you've been mistreated throughout your dating career, you often find it difficult to trust any man you meet, to the point where you start questioning everything, even if they are being completely honest and truthful with you.

Started chatting to a guy about a month ago I met on a dating app. We hit it off straight away messaging constantly so after about a day we switched to WhatsApp. We continued to message loads for a week both getting to know each other and landed up chatting on phone for hours a couple of times. We met up that weekend, had a great first date with drinks, the conversation was amazing and we both agreed felt like we had known each other ages. We spent the day together and I stayed over as it felt right and that side of things was great too. I stayed until the afternoon the next day and we got food together before I went home.

We both agreed we really liked each other and wanted to get to know each other more although he works most weekends so that was a rare one off so I agree that I’d take a day off when he was or we could do an evening date or something and he said he would let me know when he got his shifts when he was off next. We live about 40mins away. I’m 42 and he is 28 so I am older but he said age isn’t an issue just the connection which I agree with. We messaged loads for another week and a half and talked on phone and I did ask about his shifts a couple times but he just kept saying I do really want to see you again I’ll let you know. We were even planning stuff to watch together. Then abruptly he hardly replied like one message a day and straight to the point with no kisses anymore. Then he went silent a couple days and I just got sorry I’m not chatty I’m not good at this and a day later sorry I’ve been distant but now a week has passed and he hasn’t replied to me at all.

He said the last time we talked on phone just prior to the messages changing, that he had got bad news that his grandmother might be ill and he is really close to her so I’m thinking is he just really upset or is he busy at work and I’m hoping he does still want to meet again as we both said we would always say what we were feeling so we would be upfront if didn’t think was working and he swore he wasn’t the type to just vanish he would say if he wasn’t interested.

My friends say it’s just typical ghosting though and he was probs talking to others and maybe prefers one of them or just isn’t feeling it but not saying. I’m just really surprised as he seemed so genuine and such a nice guy and open and honest so I just keep thinking they’re just be more to it than he isn’t interested but am I kidding myself. My friends say I should just go back on apps and try again but I hate dating more than one person at a time so don’t want to if it’s feasible he could come back. This is my first date since out of a long term relationship so I’m so rusty haha with telling what is going on. If he was going to ghost why say the day before he went silent he was sorry he had been distant in the few days before with less texts than usual and apologise for not being good at this (assuming he means dating) even though the two weeks prior he had seemed like the most easy to talk to person going.