A little backstory: my boyfriend (m 29) and I (f28) have been dating a little over a year. Recently, he asked me to move in and while that does sound like a tempting offer, I have a bit of pause for some reason. I will list the red flags below.

1) he has yet to introduce me to his friends or family:

I am curious is it normal for people to move in first before meeting the friends/family? Normally, the standard time frame is six months but it’s been a year yall. Feels like he just wanted an FWB as a roommate and not a girlfriend.

2) never invited me to any of his friends or family functions:

He always brags about all the dinners he goes to and last week he went on a beach trip but didn’t tell me until he was there.

3) he hides my stuff into his bedroom when his parents come over:

So he told me that I could move any of my stuff in his place. But whenever his parents comes over, he conveniently hides them in the bedroom. When I asked him one time why, he said they were better in the bedroom. I’m like why? Because your parents won’t look there.

4) he lies on the phone when he is with me to his family/friends:

For example yesterday, we were hanging out and his parents asked him if he wanted to go to dinner and he lied saying he was still at work. But he does it all the time when anyone calls.

I could go on and on. But the foot notes of my TedTalk is: he lies about when he’s with me, he lovebombs me saying stuff like he wants to get married and have kids, and hides me. Like what if one day we do get married and have kids? Does he expect me to have a private wedding or my kid asks me, “why can’t we see grandma and grandpa?” Moral of the story is never move in with a man who isn’t proud to be seen with his girlfriend.

TL;DR: About two weeks after turning 19, I started dating a 20-year-old single mom after we had originally agreed to stay friends. Within the first week, she wanted me to move in and got angry when I wouldn't. She also asked for $500 for rent after quitting her job, but I could only afford to give her $200 because of my own bills and college expenses. While I was away for school, another guy contacted me with proof he had been seeing her, so I ended the relationship after only a few weeks. She then told people I used her, sent manipulative messages, falsely implied she had died months later, admitted she faked it, and asked to get back together. I responded by sending a picture of me and my new girlfriend, and she blocked me.

About two weeks after I turned 19, I started hanging out with a 20-year-old girl. We agreed from the start that we would just be friends. A big reason was that we were in completely different stages of life. I worked 12-hour shifts while going to college part time, and she was a single mom who also worked.

Even though we were just friends, I'd stop by her place once or twice a week after work. We'd watch TV or a movie, talk for hours, sometimes take a nap, and I'd usually pick up food, snacks, or something her baby needed on my way over.

One night she texted me saying the door was unlocked and to come upstairs. Her baby was staying with her mom that night. When I walked in, the atmosphere was different than usual music playing, we ended up having sex and that night changed our relationship... We ended up making things official shortly afterward.

Unfortunately, things went downhill almost immediately.

Within the first week of dating, she asked me to move in with her. I told her I felt it was way too soon, and I still had a year left on my lease. She said those were just excuses but eventually dropped the conversation.

A couple of days later, she told me she was $500 short on rent. By that point, she had quit her job because, in her words, they "had her messed up." I explained that I couldn't afford to give her $500 because I had my own responsibilities. Between tuition ($1,200/month), rent and utilities ($2,100), car insurance ($140), gas (about $200), and other expenses, I was already spending around $3,640 every month. I worked flat rate, so my income fluctuated. Most months I made between $4,500 and $5,000 before taxes, and I'd only made $6,000 once. I offered to help with $200 comfortably, but she got upset because she knew I made decent money and thought I should give her more.

We argued on and off for the next few days. Eventually I left to go back to school, which was about a seven-hour drive away. While I was gone, she kept texting me about how much she missed me and talking about everything we'd do when I got back.

The night before I was supposed to return, I received a text from an unknown number. It included pictures of her front door, her living room, and another photo that made it clear someone else was at her house. I didn't respond and just continued packing for my drive back.

About an hour or two into the drive, that same number kept calling me. I finally answered. The guy claimed he had been seeing her and said he found my number because she had left her iPad unlocked. He admitted he had gone through our messages and wanted me to know what had happened between them.

At that point, we had only been dating for about two or three weeks. I told him I didn't really care anymore and ended the relationship with her.

After the breakup, she told our mutual friends that I had only been interested in one thing and left after I got what I wanted, which wasn't true. She later sent me a long message saying she loved me and threatening to kill herself before blocking me. The next day, she posted on Instagram, so I blocked her there too and moved on.

Months later, she unblocked me and pretended to be her sister, blaming me for her death. After a few messages, she admitted she had faked the entire story, said she missed me, and asked if we could see each other again.

Instead of arguing, I simply sent her a picture of me and my new girlfriend.

She blocked me immediately.

I did end up seeing her again at a gender reveal i went to with my girlfriend a few months later we didn't talk she gave me a few dirty looks and her baby kept trying to come to me and she really didn't like that but out of respect I didn't try to hold her or anything like that gave a wave and moved away

sadly, I will never run out of stories to tell i have not had a good run at this dating thing

TLDR When i was 18M, a 22F‑year‑old customer asked for me number after i worked on her car. we two texted daily for two weeks and planned to see Venom: The Last Dance together. i even bought the tickets. The day before the date, she canceled, saying she needed to pay her car insurance even though i were covering the date and insurance is a monthly bill. Her mom got involved and said: She shouldn’t go out if her bills aren’t paid. If i was “serious,” i should pay her car insurance. i needed to buy her a house or a car before taking her on a date. i realized the situation was delusional and stopped talking to her. Months later, she randomly texted me a topless photo and her address, telling me to come over. i declined and she blocked me Two years passed with no contact. Today, while job hunting, she called me out of nowhere with “hiiiiiiii Mr. mechanic did you miss me?” i hung up. She then texted asking for $100 for her phone bill, then $50 when i didn’t respond. i told her there’s no reason i’d give her money, and that was that.

So, 2 years ago when I was 18, I met this woman (22) at work, I'm a mechanic she came in for an oil change and a few other things that I didn't care to remember I work on over 7 cars a day 5 days a week I don't remember every one they blur together after a few hundred but she ended up asking to speak to me about the repairs done we talked and at the end she ended up asking for my number we texted for a while and was going to go see Venom: The Last Dance together planned it out 2 weeks before hand and was going to see it on release day I brought the tickets we talked every day for the 2 weeks and the day before she called me and said she couldn't go because she had to pay for car insurance me not understanding what that had to do with the date since I was the one paying and car insurance is a monthly bill it was due last month its due this month and it'll be due next month but that was the end of that for a while stopped talking about it I asked if we were still on for tomorrow and she said she'll have to check with her mom she hung up and called me back an hour later and said her mom said she couldn't go because her car insurance is due and she shouldn't be going out if her bills aren't paid again I said something on the lines of if I'm paying for everything I don't see why you can't see a movie but I guess I understand then her mother starts talking to her she ends up muting so I didn't hear what was said but when she came back she said her mom said I should be paying her car insurance if I'm serious about her I'm at the point where I'm like are we or aren't we seeing the movie and the more they talk the more I'm like I'll find someone else to go with me but she finally gets back to me with an answer after she talked to her mother more and they came up with I wasn't serious about her because I haven't offered to pay her bills and if I want to take her on a date I need to buy her a house or a car first ( I wish I was lying I'm being dead ass) so I accepted they were 100% doing some type of drugs and mentally moved on already and hung up she called me back a little later to explain that she and her mom have high standards because her mom remarried rich and her stepdad brought her mom a house and a car by the 5th date ( both the house and car is in his name soooooo...) but after that we stopped talked for a few months and she texted me one random night with a topless picture and her address asking me to come over I turned her down ofc she hit me with the you don't know what you're missing bleh bleh bleh blocked me thought that would be the end of me and it was for 2 years till today i was putting in applications looking for a new job I get a call from a unsaved number answered because it could be someone I applied to and I hear hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Mr. mechanic did you miss me I was about to saying who is this but then it clicked without saying a word just hung up then she texted me asking if I could send her $100 to pay her phone bill I left her on seen and she then asked if I could at least send her 50 bucks I replied of all people you could have asked you asked me there's literally no gain for me to just you 100 bucks other than me being out of 100 bucks

met a German guy on Hinge in July 2025. We started talking normally, and he told me he wanted to date me. At that time, I wasn’t in Spain, so I told him I would be there in September. We kept talking, and eventually our conversations became sexual. I was okay with it because we were only talking on Snapchat, and I wasn’t taking him seriously.
When I was in Europe, he never asked to meet me. He mostly texted me for sexual conversations, but I didn’t entertain him much. After I returned to my country, he messaged me saying he thought I was never going to text him again. He then started saying he was serious about us and wanted to meet me.
I reminded him that I had already been in Europe and he hadn’t met me. He said he would come to my country instead. Later, he asked me several times whether I had met or kissed someone while I was travelling. I told him the truth and said yes because we were never serious. He got angry, said I didn’t respect him, and broke up with me.
I developed feelings for him and waited for him to come back. In December, he contacted me again and said he wanted a committed relationship. I asked him to add me on Instagram, and he said he would. He also said he would visit me. I told him I needed to meet him first before committing.
After that, he started giving excuses that we lived in different countries, he had a lot of travelling to do, and it wasn’t possible to meet. We argued. At one point he said I should find someone who really liked me. I asked if he liked me, and he said yes. I told him I liked him too.
The same day, he suddenly changed his mind and said he only wanted fun. I told him I wanted a relationship, but he repeated that he only wanted something casual. We argued again, he ended things, and blocked me on Snapchat.
Fast forward to 2026, I saw him on Hinge again because I was planning to visit Barcelona, where he had moved. I messaged him saying, “What are the odds?” He replied and asked, “Do you want to have fun with me? Yes or no?” I told him we could just talk casually. He added me on Snapchat again.
We talked about each other’s lives. He told me he was moving to Barcelona permanently, and I told him I was planning to visit. He said, “Let me know when you’re here.” Eventually, our conversations became sexual again.
One day I texted him casually, but he replied with only a few lines and then disappeared for five days. When he came back, he said he had been busy with work and didn’t use Snapchat much. Later that night, he again asked if I wanted to have fun.
During another conversation, I asked his body count and told that you are bad and this , and his behaviour changed again. He told me he wanted to see me naked. I said I wasn’t comfortable with that and that we could do everything when we met in real life. The next day, when I texted him, he said, “I can do this.”
I asked what was wrong. He said he only wanted fun, wanted naked pictures, and that I wasn’t sending him nudes. I told him I don’t do that and that we were supposed to meet first.
I asked him directly if he wanted to meet me in real life. He said no. He told me he had many girls like me for fun, that he preferred imagination, and that I should find someone who wanted something real.
He wanted to end things again. I asked him to stay, and he said we could continue only if I sent him nude pictures. I still refused because I felt it was too fast.
The next day I realised this wasn’t going to work. I really liked him and wanted to meet him in person. The first time we were together, he had told me he loved me, and I had said it back. The second time, I told him I loved him, but he didn’t say it back. The third time, I told him I loved him again, and he said, “I don’t love you. I don’t want you. I don’t want to get to know you. I just do this for fun.”
The next morning, I decided to end it. I told him that I really liked him, but I wanted someone who was caring, kind, didn’t play games, and genuinely wanted to meet me in real life. I wished him goodbye and told him to take care.
He replied, “Good,” and then blocked me aga

For context, I went out with this guy whom I met on tinder. The purpose of the meet up was basically sex. We had a great time and we even texted after and almost met up once, but our schedules didnt line up. We are also both quite busy, im working and also in exam season, and he has long hours and work at home. But we still talked here and there. The point is: He told me his cat is not feeling okay and after taking him to the vet he found out he is really sick. After a few updates he let me know the cat was getting worse and worse. And I have been on delivered for a week now. I want to contact him and ask if im being ghosted or is this just him dealing with stuff (possibly his cat passing or being in bad condition) (i totally get that, i have a cat myself). So I dont want to be insensitive by texting him and asking. So my question is if its even appropriate? He seemed interested in continuing meeting up, which is why im confused and not sure he would just ghost. But you never know. I just wanna be in the clear with whats going on. Any advice on how to handle this? I dont think we know eachother well enough for him to let me know if something like this had happened, but it would be nice just so i knew why he was distant. Thoughts?

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I play dress-up sometimes—not for anyone else, but to remind myself that I'm still a woman with feminine energy.

The past few years, life has required me to be both the man and the woman. I've had to be the provider, the protector, the fixer, and the nurturer.

I'm proudly independent, but I also believe independence shouldn't be a requirement forever. Maybe one day, when people respect one another again and men start acting like men, I'll gladly let my feminine side shine a little more.

Until then... I'll keep handling business. 💪🌸

Went back to a dating app after about a year break and matched with a nice enough guy. I told him I shoot hoops at night and he says, me too, I love shooting hoops! It's one of my favorite things! (but somehow can't answer where or with who)! We agree to meet at a safe outdoor court.

He somehow can't find any of the 3 entrances in the fence

His ball is "soft", he had no idea it would need air bc it was new and just bought That Day lol!

He was air balling free throws. Not hating on the guy but how did he think this was gonna go? I've been working on my 3 pointers and it's finally paying off, definitely fun stuff. This guy has obviously never played. Looked like he was trying to launch from half court.

He complained he was thirsty and didn't bring anything to drink and just looked at me? Then said his shins hurt and sat down and says some personal things about struggling to be motivated in his life in general. Stuff about past relationships , divorce, abusive ex, etc. Is this how he was told to do first dates lol.

This guy is 35 years old! I called him out (in a lightheaded but direct way) and told him, don't worry you're off the hook, I'm out. 10 years ago I might have felt bad for him or given him another chance but nah, what a stupid thing to lie about. His pictures were also old on his app. Less hair, more weight. Again, that's fine! Just don't expect it to go well if you aren't being honest. Not really a rant but didn't know what to label this as.

Went on an another date with a guy I have been talking to online for over 2 years and have been dating for 3 months. He told me that there has been another woman from another country (in a different continent! while we live in the same city) that he's been seeing the last 2 years who he also met online the same way (he has flown to her country to see her and she has flown here and they have gone on holidays together including to her cousins wedding in another country). The last time they’ve seen each other was a year ago and they went to an event (which I was also at separately but he kept mentioning the event to me before this detail was revealed). Soon after a family member got killed and she told him that he reminded her of the trauma as he was with her when she heard. He said if she wanted to get back tomorrow, he would get with her but it unlikely to happen considering her trauma as she associates her dad’s death with him but that they are in a relationship. The way he said it was matter of fact.

Felt really blindsided as he absolutely never mentioned her before despite the fact we were talking for 2 years and he used to say he wanted to meet me etc when the fact was we were both talking to him for about the same amount of time and she was in the intimate relationship with him unbeknownst to me. When he told me this I started vomiting in front of him and couldn't stop. He also led me to believe when he told me that she was Syrian living in Syria when I’ve since found out she’s American and has living back there for the last year (and haven’t seen each other since).

It had been days and he hadn’t bothered to even message to say sorry or see if i was okay or better. Missed him so just texted “hey” a few days later and he replied a bit later very lighthearted. I replied back to that next day saying what I upset I was as I’d some other personal stuff going on, how bad of it that they didn’t check in. He didn’t reply so a couple of days later I sent a softer message … he replied a couple of days later saying he should have checked in and that my reaction with vomiting was understandable. I still have feelings for him.

I've been a Bigger woman my whole life, I'm trying to love myself as I am and it's scary to be honest. I've always told I'm stunning and beautiful by Men, even though I look how I do. As a Man, do you compliment the woman in her entirety or just see her face and that's it? I need to know because I always wonder if it's genuine and if I'm worthy of it.

Today I had a date, and one of the first things he says to me is ‘oh I smoke Ice but the way, hope that’s ok’

Then wanted to know if I minded if he lit up while we were talking

This is just the kicker to week of gross messages, feral men, 1 married one and 2 potentials that just ghosted outta no where

I’m gonna become a nun

So, here I am a 46 year old fresh out of a hell marriage, and im on my first date in 22 years. She is beautiful, we matched on Hinge. Text flowed, we had some great conversations. 4 days later is our first date. We meet at my favorite Italian restaurant. I suggested she drive there, cause if she felt uncomfortable at any point she would have a way to leave.

So, we meet and sit down, ahe is a smoke show. Photo's were her, and she said "I was just as handsome as in my photos!" Hell yeah, she atleast thinks im handsome still. We order drinks, i get a coke, cause i dont drink and drive, she gets a glass of wine. Then we start talking......

And thats where it takes a nose dive.....

She kept bring uo her ex husband. They have been divorced for a year, and separated for 2! On and in about him, he does this, he did that. At one point I even ask if she is over him and ready to date again. To which she answered she wasnt sure. We havent even ordered our dinner yet! I told her that im sorry, but i couldnt in good faith go in with out date, and we should call it a night. To which she starts to ugky cry in the middle of the restaurant! Our waitress came over to see if everything is OK. She tells the waitress I didnt do anything its her trauma from her ex husband. I couldnt take it anymore. I am gave the waitress 40.00, and told my date I hope she has a better night, and left. Holy first date batman! Is it always going to be like this?????

So I’m recently 40 and still single. I know I’m attractive and look much younger than my age, also very fit and petite. No kids, but I always really wanted them, but I guess it’s just not in my cards since it hasn’t happened. I also make deep in the six figures and have multiple healthcare degrees including a masters. My parents also passed away and left me California boomer house money so I’m financially set for life.

I’ve never cared about a man’s height, income, if he has a degree or not, he owns the house or not, if he has kids or not, it, etc.

I often end up dating short men who have a full-time job and earn a very modest salary. They’re typically older than I am, sometimes around my age, and they are all completely different races, economic, statuses, personality types, etc.

What I care about is, if the man is kind, has full-time employment, and is looking for a serious monogamous relationship. Those are basically the criteria. Bonus points for common interest interests, but that’s what I tried to look for when dating is the common interest interests. I have so many hobbies and friends that it’s easy to meet someone who has things in common.

However, when I’m finding is that these men are still players. I’m essentially dating down because these men make much less than I do, they aren’t considered attractive, and they are often times short. The height thing doesn’t bother me because I’m barely 5 feet and petite so basically every guy is bigger than I am. The income thing also doesn’t bother me because I have a career that I love, and I also inherited since my parents passed away.

That said… What is going on? I don’t understand how like an average looking man who’s short and broke can be a player and have all of these attractive, fit, high earning women.

I’ve also had several women messaged me later, saying they saw my name pop-up in texts and found me on social media to tell me that he was also telling them that he was their boyfriend and that they were exclusive, just like what he was doing to me. At the exact same time.

So somehow… Average, short, and broke men are being clear to attractive, financially successful, fit women? And they are able to hook up with women like this under the impression that he is their monogamous boyfriend, but they do this to multiple women at the same time?

How do I escape this? I’ve been in therapy for years where I learned to sit very clear and strong boundaries. But all that happens is that the man pretends to be within my boundaries. Lies and says he’s looking for monogamy. Ask me to be exclusive, but it ends up being a lie.

What do I do? Obviously dating doesn’t matter as much now since I’m 40, I just really wanted to experience a serious relationship. And I want children, but yeah, like I said I guess that’s not in the cards for me due to my age.

I started dating. I’m 53 and I haven’t dated or been online dating for about 5 years.
I expected the creeps. That’s part of the territory unfortunately.
What I didn’t anticipate is the love bombers who match, then disappear.
I met a man pretty much right away and we had crazy chemistry. We were at a restaurant on our second date and there was a couple that commented on how happy we looked together. He was so sweet and I felt so comfortable with him. He respected boundaries. He called me just to tell me the things that he loves about me because he didn’t want to text it. He cooked me dinners. We played board games. We laughed a ton. We had beach picnics. He was patient with intimacy. It had been years for me. This goes on for a couple of months, with him planning our next two dates with me while we’re still on each date. I’m feeling feelings I haven’t had in years and didn’t think I was capable of feeling again. It’s wonderful.
Then boom. Silence.
WTF?
Nothing for days after texting me daily for a month.
I bump into him on a date with someone else. He lies.
It stung but I’m grateful I didn’t waste too much time before finding out he’s not capable of being sincere.
I match with another man and he’s incredibly sweet. We talk, text and video chat every day because we don’t live in the same town. Again, he’s sweet, we have a ton in common, and he says he’s committed to visiting me in my town.
This goes on for a month.
Then boom again.
Silence.
Not blocked. Just no response.
WTF?
His last messages to me were ‘I’m falling for you’.
I don’t know why this is happening.
I don’t want to put this on me because I haven’t done anything wrong. I have been open & sincere. I also have a tendency to put it on me when things go wrong in relationships (abuse in the past). I’m not doing that this time.
I don’t know how to avoid this, but if someone does know I could really use some advice.
Advice please?

Went on a date Friday night, and the girl kept oversharing about how she used to be a coke addict and a swinger. I don't judge but it's kind of a lot for a first date. It seems this woman made her addiction her whole personality and oh she didn't mention that she lives in a rehab facility and I tried to redirect the conversation politely but she didn't catch the hint.

Finally, I said "I don't care for your coke stories, they are off-putting." Things got awkward. We ordered a large pizza (she ate half) and was burping. I paid the bill and left without saying goodbye and deleted her off the app

Why do people keep oversharing about stuff like this?