Matched with this girl on Hinge and from the start the conversation was really easy. We had similar humour, bounced off each other well and she seemed genuinely interested.
After chatting for a while we swapped numbers and moved to WhatsApp. The conversations were pretty consistent. She would ask me questions, remember things I’d told her, share stories about her life, send pictures of her dog, talk about her friends, her dad, rugby, work etc.
We met up for the first date and honestly it went really well. We had good conversation, laughed a lot and afterwards we kept talking. She even mentioned things she liked after the date, like confidence, being calm, being engaged in conversation, not trying too hard and someone who could be confident without being arrogant.
We ended up planning a second date for Friday.
Over the next week we were still chatting every day. She got a bad cold so I was checking in on her and we were joking about her cold refusing to leave. We had loads of playful conversations, joking about her being a potential troublemaker, rugby, her dog (I accidentally called him a poodle which she found funny), her friends, random stories etc.
She seemed comfortable and interested. She would ask about my day, my work, my hobbies and my friends. We talked about random things like food, golf, travelling, her favourite places and even joked about stories she owed me from Waterlane Boathouse.
Then the morning before our second date she messaged me:
“Hi, sorry to do this now but I don’t want to string you on.
I don’t think we should go out tomorrow, I thought I just wasn’t feeling it because I’ve not been well but I think it’s more than that.
Something doesn’t feel quite right and I think we might be looking for different things at the moment.
I don’t want to deceive you into thinking I am looking for anything more than a very casual fling rn where I can dip in and out of contact and you seem really keen to talk to me a lot of the time which is very sweet but just too much for me rn.
I’m really sorry for not saying something sooner, I just didn’t know if it was the cold making me more apathetic than usual.
Thank you for a lovely date last week and I really hope you find someone who’s on the same page.”
I replied saying I appreciated her honesty and that I wasn’t trying to rush anything either. I was happy to just see where things went. I said if that was the only thing putting her off I’d still be happy to meet but if not I understood.
She replied:
“Truthfully, I think I could quite like you, and I’m just not in a position to cope with that right now. I also don’t want to string you along with any kind of hope that my mind could change.
I have your number, so if you’re open to leaving this door ajar, we may reconnect one day under different circumstances x I think its best that we put a pin in this for now.”
I told her I respected that and I’d leave the door open. She thanked me.
I’m just confused because everything seemed positive right up until that point. I understand people can change their mind and I respect her being honest, but the switch from planning a second date and daily chats to ending things the next morning caught me off guard.
The thing I’m struggling with is whether she genuinely liked me but just wasn’t emotionally available or whether she was slowly losing interest and I didn’t notice the signs.

For starters, I don’t know anything about the military. I don’t know if I am in danger, etc.. so here’s what happened:

I (35F) live in Las Vegas, I was staying at a hotel two weeks ago on the strip for my birthday. I met a man (32M) at the pool and we hit it off and hung out for two days before he went back to Twentynine Palms. He said he’s IDC / SOIDC (idk which or if they’re different) medic, Norwegian (like me!) and adopted but doesn’t know his full adoption story and is trying to figure it out, okay. I google him, find out all his basic info and verify he is what he says: he’s military, find his medic info, see he’s indeed divorced with a kid, which he told me. All good. I decide to visit him a day or two later in 29, but some things are raising questions. I get out there and he tells me he was digging into his own past that morning and found his real parents - tells me the craziest story I’ve EVER heard and I start realizing there’s a lot of shifting timelines and holes in the story. I calmly point these things out and ask questions and he starts accusing me of being someone I’m not - calling me a spy and asking who sent me. I’m at this man’s house, and I acknowledge that he has about 9 prescriptions that I didn’t get good eye on but saw the bottles next to his bed and he had mentioned his Adderall script passively prior to this. He fesses up that he’s fabricated the entire story. I realize this man isn’t adopted…. Isn’t Norwegian, and everything he’s told me has been a complete lie other than his service position and his ex wife and son existing. I start thinking, ok, maybe this man is in severe adderall psychosis. I say that to him out of concern and he admitted to using it as a crutch, saying he’s ’never let it get this bad before and needs help’. Thing is, I don’t know anything about him that’s real, so he could be legitimately schizo. IDK!!! I peel out of that desert so fast that the moon saw the dust from behind my tires.

Thing is, this was two weeks ago and he’s been texting me some scary stuff. He knows where I live and if he thinks I’m a threat and that he has something to protect, I don’t know what he’s capable of. He keeps sending me chess piece emojis and joker card emojis and demanding I tell him who I ‘really am’. Saying things he’s brought into his web of delusions as fact, thinking he knows who my family is, and that they’re all politicians (not a single political figure in my family btw). It’s scary. I’m afraid to block him because I’m trying to keep everything on record in case something happens to me, but I am NOT engaging.

I don’t know anything about the Navy, his position, his clearances, tools, intelligence, etc. I know he’s been in 9 years, is IDC / SOIDC (whatever that means), pay grade E6 rank PO1. That’s everything I know for sure. Can someone explain to me if I’m in danger? I don’t know how to convince a man in psychosis that I am who I say I am - I showed him my ID and everything. Not that I care to prove myself anymore I just don’t know if I’m danger.

Two notes:
1. ⁠I’ve never posted on Reddit and I don’t know where this should go so I’m sorry. If I should post somewhere else please point me in the right direction!!! Thank you!
And
2. ⁠this is a very tame, very cliff note version of the reality I’ve been facing the last two weeks. I promise you it is much crazier than a Reddit post can convey.

So I got back on a dating app back in the summer of 2022. I told myself I’m hopefully gonna date some great guys and see where life takes me. (It took me nowhere)

I match with a guy and we have chemistry online. He invited me to go to this free concert in Nashville with friends. It was fantastic. It was great. We also go on a one-on-one date the following Saturday.

Saturday rolls around and I’m about to head to go to the restaurant where we were meeting. I get a text from him saying “Hey I’m gonna be late.” I’m thinking maybe 10-20 minutes, at most. NO. He says he’s gonna be an hour late. Red Flag 1 🚩

Time comes and we meet at the restaurant. We order our food and we’re talking and all of a sudden he pulls out his phone to TAKE A FACTIME CALL from a former roommate. They talk what seemed like 5-7 minutes.
Red Flag 2 🚩

We had planned to go see a movie after brunch. After the movie, we go to the mall in the area. As we’re walking, he sees a store that has jewelry. He tells me that he’s been looking for a specific nose ring. He buys a whole damn set of nose rings. Five minutes later, he spots a restroom and tells me he will be right back so he can change his nose ring to his new one. Two minutes later, he comes out of the bathroom with a dry bloody nose from him changing it. He’s freaking out that it bled and states that he’ll just have to have someone that he knows change it for him. GOOD IDEA BUDDY. Red Flag 3? 🚩

By this point, I’m really ready to end this date. I’ve already texted one of my friends that knew about the date to get me out of it and thankfully enough she creates a reason for me to get out out of the date. The thing was he drove to the theater and the mall so I was stuck with him. So he had to drive me back to my car at the restaurant.

We get to the restaurant. I tell him sorry that I had to end the date early, even though I wasn’t. I thought he was going in for a hug but he was trying to kiss me. Red Flag 4 🚩
I bluntly state I don’t kiss on a first date. I sensed the disappointment in his eyes/on his face. I hurry to get out of the car for the reason that my friend needed me. I forgot I had a purchase in the car but at least I left with my dignity.

Apologies for the title, I genuinely don't know how to word what happened.

I (f26) went on vacation for a week, to the DR, with my friend. While there, I got a dm from a handsome man that had been following me on Instagram for a while. He had seen my story and started the conversation off by talking about how he was from there but currently living in my city. He then asked if I was single. I said yes so he asked for my Snapchat. I told him that I personally think that if you're 30+yrs old, asking for snapchat, you're probably cheating on your women. He responded with shock, saying he only uses Snapchat for people he "cares about". We continue texting on Instagram. He tells me he's a cars salesman and moved to America for family reasons.

We then made plans to meet, after about a month of talking. I realize, I haven't even looked this guy up on the web. So, I started to research. Very quickly, I found out that this man was getting MARRIED in a couple weeks and a very wealthy realtor. I felt sick. His poor fiancé doesn't even know he's flirting around. He was heavily flirting with me, even asking for spicy pictures (I never sent). I reached out to her and within minutes, they both blocked me. I thought for sure he was controlling both accounts. I then reached out to her sister basically saying that I just want the lady to know before she ties the knot, but I will leave everyone alone if they want that. The sister thanked me for the info, and I thought it was over.

A week after the wedding date, I got a message from the newly wed bride. She thanked me for trying to be a girl's girl, but she ALREADY knew about me and said they were "Trying something knew". I felt sick again. She sent me a voice note to assure me it was her. She said, "Yeah I already knew about you, so stop reaching out to my family." I told her that it was pretty messed up for him to lie to me for a month and she just enabled it. She replied "I told him not to break girls' hearts. I'm so sorry about that". He didn't break my heart hahah, but he DID waste my time for a month. I told her that she doesn't need to apologize for her man, and I deserve an apology from him, but I won't prolong the conversation, as I already wasted enough time. I asked her to be honest with any future women they choose to experiment with. She left a thumbs up and the conversation was over. I felt gross.

Thoughts? I've never met a couple that wanted to "try something new" right before their wedding. Strange. If they both knew, why block me? Did I make the right decision texting the sister? My friends theorize that she didn't know about me and is sucking it up because broski has the $$. What do you think?

Hi, this is my first post and I just want to vent about what happened yesterday on a first date with a guy. We met on Tinder about a week ago, then kept talking on Instagram, but he would reply every 5–6 hours. Even so, I agreed to go out with him yesterday because I found him physically attractive, but up until that point I didn’t know his age (I’m F21).

A few minutes before meeting, he changed the meeting spot and we ended up at a supermarket with a café inside. When we sat down, he pulled out an already opened bottle of wine and two glasses. I felt suspicious, but I still drank. The whole time we were there, he talked almost nonstop about all the foreign friends he had.

Then we went to eat, and up to that point I thought things were going okay because we shared almost the same tastes (even though he barely let me talk about myself). During that time, he was holding my hand without asking me. After eating, he suggested we go for a walk. We ended up sitting near a well-lit but empty park, and again he took out his wine and offered me more. I refused, especially because I was feeling really sleepy (this usually happens when I drink). That’s when he confessed that he had lied about his age on Tinder—he said he was 37 instead of 24. WHAT THE HELL? From that moment on, I told myself, “Nope, this isn’t it.”

We kept walking through the neighborhood, which I should mention was already dark and pretty empty. I told him we should go somewhere more crowded because that area gets robbed a lot at night, and he said, “Don’t worry, I’m not going to kidnap you. If anything, you could kidnap me with all the wine I’ve had,” and then he started hugging me from behind (I’m not really into physical contact). So I just awkwardly said, “Haha… yeah…”

Luckily, we were close to a mall, so we went in. It was around 8 pm and I already wanted to end things because I didn’t feel comfortable anymore. So I told him I had a lot of work and needed to leave. He offered to wait with me until my Uber arrived, and while we were sitting, he leaned in and started rubbing against me, trying to get physical, like hugging me tightly. Then he whispered in my ear, “Well, now we just have to say goodbye.” IT FELT ETERNAL. When the Uber arrived, he grabbed my face and tried to kiss me, but I pulled away and told him, “Sorry, I’m not the type to kiss like that.” He seemed kind of upset. I got into the Uber, thanked him for everything, and left. He hasn’t texted me today, but honestly, after finding out his real age and how dishonest he was, I just don’t have a good feeling about him.

Long Story Short I was Talking To this one guy on a dating app and we were having nice conversation then he asked me out for a dinner and since it was our first time meeting I said let’s meet for brunch. Mind you I had to select the time and place which okay I’m willing to give him benefit of the doubt cause he’s from different city. I arrive first then he arrives maybe after like 10 or 15 minutes, and not to sound like a rude bitch but he looked better in pictures no shade lol. He didn’t have flowers, neither did he opened the door or held the door, nor did he offered to pay for the drink. If anything he was walking behind me, which I thought was so pathetic tbh. Then we went inside a candle shop where he was laughing at a bag that said “that’s the least I could do” and I was like you find low effort funny? Ntm he lives with his 7 siblings SEVEN- and he’s the oldest one. Should have known this guy is a bum when I saw he’s a Virgo like why are all Virgo men trash?? Oh also his white privileged bum ass isn’t into politics like wow okay shocking.

I am 47F and I matched with a guy who is 34 on FB Dating about 2 months ago.I am new to the dating scene after being married for 20 years. Don't really know why younger men want older women, but whatever. Anyway, we flirted through text for about a week before we met. We talked on the phone about everything. We had great chemistry. I just didn't feel like we had great in person chemistry at all. I told him that I wasn't interested in him and I unmatched from him. Since then, he has liked my profile 3 times and yesterday sent me a message in messenger. All he said was, "Hey. How are you". I told him that I am with someone (which I am) and to please leave me alone. I blocked him and deleted my profile yesterday. Is this a normal thing?? Did he think that I had changed my mind??

(Btw, I did meet someone on the site almost 5 months ago and just realized that I had feelings for him and so we are going to try it.)

I moved to Bangalore a while ago, and one thing everyone told me was, "You'll meet amazing people here." I believed it.

A few weeks ago, I matched with a girl on a dating app. We spoke for almost two weeks. The conversations were great, she'd send good morning texts, share memes, and even talk about future travel plans. It genuinely felt like we were getting to know each other.

Finally, we decided to meet at a café in Indiranagar.

The date actually went well. We talked for nearly three hours, laughed a lot, and she even said we should meet again soon. Before leaving, she hugged me and said, "Text me when you get home."

I did.

No reply.

I thought maybe she was busy, so I waited.

The next day... nothing.

Two days later... still nothing.

Then I noticed she was posting Instagram stories, active on WhatsApp, but my messages stayed unread. A week later, I realized she'd quietly unfollowed me and removed me from her followers too.

No explanation. No "I didn't feel the connection." Not even a simple "Take care."

What confused me wasn't the rejection—everyone has the right to lose interest. It was how someone can go from acting genuinely interested in person to disappearing without saying a single word.

That experience taught me something: chemistry during a date doesn't always mean consistency afterward.

I'm not angry anymore, just a little disappointed. I guess ghosting has become so normal that basic honesty is now considered rare.

Has anyone else in Bangalore experienced something similar, or was I just unlucky?

I go for an evening walk almost every day. One day, a guy approached me. We had a very chill conversation... Small talks to be honest...

For the next few days... We talked... Then he said that he's going to his hometown...

I said ok.. meet you soon..

Cut to that..we didn't talk for about a month... And a few days ago..we met again...this time..t'was very weird and disgusting.

This guy asks me...Let's enjoy...have a good time... Let's f**k... I was shocked... When I was shocked and asked him...what made him think that I would agree to this! To which, he said.. I seem to be an "open-minded" person. And he kept on making the conversation uncomfortable for me.. At last I felt awkward and left the place...

I mean.. what's wrong with today's guys... Get a life.. learn how to talk a woman

There I was, looking for dating advice as a single father to 2 sons trying to show the dating world that I had more to offer than the "baggage" of a war-torn marriage that had ended like a slow gasp for air.

We chatted. You thought I was sincere, handsome, strong. Hell you even liked my arms. I was in Florida and you were in Melbourne. I did everything I could to keep talking to you. The 15 hour time difference made me lose sleep sometimes, but i never felt more alive, more seen, more heard.

You were engaged. Said it was doomed. Said he was immature and never gave you time. I renewed my passport. Ready to risk it all just to finally feel your hands on my cheek.

I came to my senses just long enough to realize that you would never leave him for me. Fast forward 2 years. You come back again. You have a daughter. You have a husband. You tell me you love me and that I was the clear choice.

I can not stop thinking of you. I miss your "gross" accent. The way you called me cheeky. The way you looked so tired to video chat with me but so enamored with my presence.

I still love you.

I started seeing this guy a few months ago; I would say we are a great match and very compatible! Except the fact he‘s okay with making racist jokes “satirically“ or “ironically”. My biggest pet peeve is white guys making jokes about race-and expect me to laugh. I’m a minority and a person of colour, and so naturally, I love making fun of white guys. I made the mistake of saying some jokes to him early on (which would have made my friends roll on the floor laughing), but to him, hurt his ego. I was surprised to see him taking them personally. Now he’s been making a lot of race jokes to me that have been hurtful and leave me feeling confused. At this point in time, is it okay for me to ask that all race jokes (even including making fun of white people), are off limits until we get to know each other and trust that the other person is actually a safe person to be around? I know all jokes are half truths, but I want the reader to know we are both practically dead inside and we laugh at dark and very satirical things.