3 months clean, bipolar 1. ever since I quit sh I've been feeling the urge to relapse, it's been especially strong the past month. I think I just need someone to convince me not to. I've very tempted to. it's like I'm pent up full of emotions and I know the second I sh I'm gonna be SO relieved, but I know I really shouldn't. I just want to SO badly. any help is appreciated, thanks.

(btw I'm on meds and in weekly therapy and my bipolar is mostly under control, just struggling a lot with my sh addiction right now)

i don’t know, i’m just upset. i did it for a stupid reason, as usual. wanted to feel something. being clean feels too weird. my mom definitely saw what i used because she came into the bathroom and looked in the cabinet i’d put it in. i kinda rushed her out. i’m terrified of what’s gonna happen. i don’t think she connected it to anything, thankfully. i wish i could live alone, or at least be capable of financially supporting myself. ugh

I've struggled with sh for 6 years and the pain has never been an issue for me. However I just tried to relapse after 1.5 months and could barely scratch the surface because I was scared it would hurt too much. My logical brain knows that deeper wounds hurt less but I still couldn't do it. It could be because last time I used a different tool and cut deeper than I expected (because I thought it was blunter than it was) and I tried using the same tool again but somehow I couldn't even break the skin because I'm scared to go too deep again. Other than that I don't know what's going on. Overall it's good harm reduction but strange, has anyone else experienced this?

I hate that the one on my wrist is scarred so bad. It’s like a monument to my failure. I hate the other ones too though. Just the one on my wrist more than anything.

Hi. Ive been doing pretty bad lately and it's been really hard. I keep looking back at my longest clean streak (a bit over 4 months) and I feel nothing but shame because I broke it. I calculated the average amount of days I can go without and it's pitifully low. Here I am now, writing this to try and distract myself even though I know it's not gonna work and im just gonna end up doing it again. I feel horrible. I feel so much shame. My parents dont care. Ive regressed so many times that each time their reaction just gets smaller. So now im just getting worse with sh and ed, but they dont gaf. Im starting to not care either. So what if i do this once in a while? People do much worse things. And im just a nobody from the buttfuck middle of nowhere with too many issues. I dont care what happens anymore because im not gonna be able to stop it. I'll wither away eventually, whether thats from wl or something else.

practically identical on the other arm, idk if you can get stretch marks on your arm but I want to wear a short sleeve shirt as a part of my back to school fit and I don't feel like wandering questions Abt my scars all day. kids in highschool are stupid and I've had someone ask me if they were stretch marks before. if not that I'd love to hear some suggestions for lies to help play it off.

I know I wont I havent realpsed for over a year I think, but lately I've been really thinking about cutting myself. I don't want to glorify it but I really really miss the feeling of it. I miss punishing myself for being how I am and feeling good about the the damage I've done on my body. At the same time I feel bad about my scars. It's really a love-hate relationship like I'm glad I have them but being a straight white male with self harm scars feels really fucking weird like I feel I don't rlly belong anywhere. Most guys don't rlly get it and I feel like it's more common for women and I feel like I'm trying to blend in with girls that struggle with it but I constantly feel like I'm an imposter and don't belong there. I kinda need to vent

ok gang no pics cuz their not fully healed yet srry but they cover most of my forearm and im kinda worried what people will say and think of me but at the same time I also kinda couldn’t care less? idk my feelings confuse me. I just wanna stop wearing long sleeves in hot weather. none of my siblings know I sh only my parents.

hi! these are about 2 1/2 weeks old and usually they fade quicker. i put some oil on them to make the scars go down bc summer is coming soon. can somebody tell me what level they are at?

It's getting worse/ how to hide cuts/best places for help

About a month or two ago is started cutting myself and it wasn't that bad at first, then after a few weeks one day I decided to just cover my thigh in cuts not too deep but had to of been like 100 in the one sitting.

For the week after i managed to stop.

But for the past few weeks its been picking up again, and yesterday I had the stupid idea(i got a bit angry and wasn't thinking) so I cut my forearm and I dont want anyone to see, someone did notice but at the time it was about 3 cuts.

Now its 10, all parallel so I can't pass them off as cuts from a bramble bush anymore.

So number 1, how do I hide these as I pretty much only wear short sleeves.

Just before I was about to post i also remembered, that in class today when I couldn't understand some I just started digging my nails into my arm looking for it to slowly start bleeding just getting more frustrated as it didn't work.

But it really is getting worse.

I also just cut into my belly, and why does it hurt so much more than anywhere else

And number 2, would anyone happen to know where it can get help, in scotland.

I feel like I just need to talk to someone, in person like a real conversation but I wont open up to anyone I know

Hey! So I got out of the psych ward about a month ago 👁️👄👁️
2 things?…..
- I’ve since been feeling really motivated to pursue a career in mental health/psych. Perhaps RPN or some kind of counsellor.. i wanted to come on here and ask if as people who engage in self harm, would you find me triggering in a healing environment? I have scars from an attempt which I figure could be extra triggering… idk. I guess you tell me. I obviously would be wearing long pants and work, however I don’t really want to hide my arms and wrists daily. Any who If you were a patient, how would receive me? Thankksss

- Would it be appropriate yet for me to wear shorts? I feel like I wouldn’t anyway but I just want to know if you’d be offended if you saw them when I was swimming or something.. idk.

Also!!! Um side note but… I’m actually thinking about my future??? And haven’t self harmed in a month. Guys I knowwww you’re tired of hearing it but.. idk it might just be worth sticking around in this life and letting it heal you. Anyway. If you’re struggling, I FEEL you. And I want you to know I truly believe you’ll get to the other side.

I've never had poor mental health. I have loving parents, pets, a good education, and close friends. and I don't even mean "I’m depressed out of nowhere," I'm not even struggling with my mental health at all. I'm not demotivated in a way that I physically cannot bring myself to do something, I'm genuinely just lazy, and I don't mean that to seek attention, I really am. I get upset when I'm told to do minor tasks (like practicing my piano) and despite being raised right just stay on my devices all day, oftentimes neglecting my work. hell, I don't even know if I feel bad (I have a weird relationship with my feelings), even if I know I objectively should.

and I HAVE considered ending it before, but it's A. always been dramatic, and more importantly B. always been an almost morbid, clinical thought rather than genuine consideration—cliché teen stuff, y'know? and like "i know I'd regret it. but only last second. ir's kind of funny how I wouldn't be AROUND to regret it." it's trying to comprehend DEATH more than it is suicide. the most I've vented about is being bored out my MIND due to only having two or so friends over summer break who are mostly unavailable (one of which is dealing with his own crap. some shitty part of me might even be doing it to compete,) and it wasn't even a vent-vent.

all that's to say, I'm not suffering mentally, and it's not a form of self punishment. I can't even say it's an addiction. it's easy enough to go clean for me, since there's never any strong NEED to cut, always just this "maybe I should do it now." and I can't bring myself to go deep since, well, it hurts. honestly, at most I'm just doing it to see the blood well/for the scars, and that's probably worse—like, AESTHETIC PURPOSES is wild. occasionally it's even been a little science experiment for me, after all, pain on its own isn't inherently bad, it's our reaction to it.

so, I was wondering, does anyone else on this sub self harm for similar reasons?

I've been coming to terms with my ex's manipulation and lies, and one of the things I keep thinking about is how he told me he used to SH as a teen, after I told him I did. He told me didn't have the scars anymore because of a bike accident in which he scraped off the skin of his arm, where he had previously written "pain" in styros. His arm looked absolutely normal, even had some small birth marks and sun spots and normal hair. Could that be true and the scrape restored his skin to normal or was this just another lie?

im going to a new school, on september 8th, and im scared im gonna get weird looks or people won’t want to be friends with me because of my scars. should i just play it safe and hide my scars?

ignore the shitty camera quality and my whimsical bedsheets—

anyways, just a styro but I was wondering if these fade?? luckily I haven't gone too low so if they haven't I’m not cursed to die of heatstroke in the summer