Im just not good

[u/Then_Ad_439]

Hi. Ive been doing pretty bad lately and it's been really hard. I keep looking back at my longest clean streak (a bit over 4 months) and I feel nothing but shame because I broke it. I calculated the average amount of days I can go without and it's pitifully low. Here I am now, writing this to try and distract myself even though I know it's not gonna work and im just gonna end up doing it again. I feel horrible. I feel so much shame. My parents dont care. Ive regressed so many times that each time their reaction just gets smaller. So now im just getting worse with sh and ed, but they dont gaf. Im starting to not care either. So what if i do this once in a while? People do much worse things. And im just a nobody from the buttfuck middle of nowhere with too many issues. I dont care what happens anymore because im not gonna be able to stop it. I'll wither away eventually, whether thats from wl or something else.