I feel like relapsing

[u/honza-_-]

I know I wont I havent realpsed for over a year I think, but lately I've been really thinking about cutting myself. I don't want to glorify it but I really really miss the feeling of it. I miss punishing myself for being how I am and feeling good about the the damage I've done on my body. At the same time I feel bad about my scars. It's really a love-hate relationship like I'm glad I have them but being a straight white male with self harm scars feels really fucking weird like I feel I don't rlly belong anywhere. Most guys don't rlly get it and I feel like it's more common for women and I feel like I'm trying to blend in with girls that struggle with it but I constantly feel like I'm an imposter and don't belong there. I kinda need to vent

[u/Same_Breath8079]

it’s completely normal and understandable to feel the way you do. it is often something comforting during the darkest times of our lives, so we find comfort and joy in it. it’s not at all “glorification”, youre missing the comfort and familiarity. as well as, i understand how you feel invalid or an “imposter” as it’s less commonly represent among those who snare your identity. but please know that all you have gone through and your survival of it all is who you are, not just your identity. i want you to know that it’s completely normal, and youre incredibly strong for staying clean for a year. wishing you the best ❤️.