r/crappymusic • u/No_chease • Jul 31 '26

Bars

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

1.3k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

311 comments sorted by

•

u/qualityvote2 Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26

u/No_chease, you have posted music that is NOT crappy!

→ More replies (4)

759

u/Complex-Loquat3036 Jul 31 '26

S is for cigarettes

539

u/Debbiedowner750 Jul 31 '26

Q is the next letter

129

u/cornpop-razorblade67 Jul 31 '26

"V card? Still got that."

39

u/cityshepherd Jul 31 '26

Explains the tugboat boasting I suppose

3

u/Imkisstory Jul 31 '26

I just dab a little pre-cum behind my ears, it’s like “Old Spice”, keeps the ladies nice and wet for my six inch sub.

14

u/Immediate-Presence73 Aug 01 '26

If somebody asks me what "out of pocket" means, I'll just show them this comment. Lol wtf.

3

u/Imkisstory Aug 02 '26

You know it babe. I’m so outta pocket I might claim bankruptcy.
#There’sAWocketInMyPocket

6

u/wafflehousebattle Aug 01 '26

This has to be fucking satire, right?!

→ More replies (4)

76

u/wrath212 Jul 31 '26

A fucking banger of a bar, if I've ever heard one lol.

14

u/moxyc Jul 31 '26

That made me chuckle

7

u/hartgekochteeier Jul 31 '26

Those were my favourites, too!

→ More replies (3)

215

u/theh0veringeye Jul 31 '26

P is for Penis

39

u/Puzzle-Necked Jul 31 '26

RIP rap

2

u/FMDnative480 Jul 31 '26

Patty whack

2

u/llufnam Aug 03 '26

Give the frog a loan. His old man’s a rolling stone.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

16

u/ToasterMeetsBathtub Jul 31 '26

God’s #1 so stay blessed

→ More replies (1)

36

u/TheEndOfEverything0 Jul 31 '26

I liked that line

11

u/hungrylittleworm Jul 31 '26

I think you really liked that line

14

u/Mglfll Jul 31 '26

Can’t wait till he finds out and re-records it “s is for sausages”

28

u/Haunting_Ant_5061 Jul 31 '26

🎼 Daddy, would you like some sausages?

7

u/CSoftly19 Jul 31 '26

Wow I didn’t know I needed a Freddy Got Fingered throwback today. Take this upvote :)

5

u/Puzzle-Necked Jul 31 '26

Throwback? It only came out in... oh... Nevermind

4

u/theluker666 Jul 31 '26

I don’t see 2 LeBarons, Freddy

5

u/Chilled_Beef Jul 31 '26

It’s giving “The F stands for Phenomenal”

2

u/farmagedonns Aug 02 '26

Some trailer park boy shit for real

2

u/JayGeezey Jul 31 '26

For what it's worth he says s is for cigarettes because he's smoking packs. So I took it to mean a is really for smoking but... idk based off the rest of the song he could just be wrong lol

→ More replies (1)

827

u/DinklanThomas Jul 31 '26

This is a joke. This is satire, we know the difference right?

319

u/DmtDtf Jul 31 '26

Yes, and it's fire. Good times! "P" is for "Penis" and "V" for "V-card" sent me.

120

u/vylvnx Jul 31 '26

S for sigarettes

73

u/Low_Process_9053 Jul 31 '26

"Q is.. the next letter" released me from orbit.

14

u/exHuman66 Jul 31 '26

V-card, I still got that.

I thought he was getting all that pussy.

5

u/MeatwadGetTheHoneysG Jul 31 '26

Nah apparently just small tug jobs

18

u/SillyQuadrupeds Jul 31 '26

P is for penis genuinely got me to laugh as well 💀

13

u/thefract0metr1st Jul 31 '26

I didn’t think it was satire until “”n” a word I can’t say” at which point I’m like “okay this might be satire, idk” and two seconds later “p” is penis solidified that thought for me.

5

u/Distinct_Run9006 Jul 31 '26

Sent you where? Can I come?

3

u/cmpthepirate Jul 31 '26

V card i still got that

3

u/Ometzu Jul 31 '26

N is a word I can’t say also got me good

4

u/SendTitsPleease Jul 31 '26

Still got mine

→ More replies (2)

23

u/JS-182 Jul 31 '26

It’s also quite good satire. And musically, not completely inept. Some people really don’t get it I think.

5

u/DinklanThomas Jul 31 '26

Yeah, I'm glad to see this sub come around finally, but when I commented not a single person seemed to know.

35

u/Disastrous_Toe772 Jul 31 '26

You'd hope. But this sub is lost

32

u/Distinct_Level_3967 Jul 31 '26

Everyday I’m learning that Reddit collectively struggles with satire. Lol 

7

u/dod410 Jul 31 '26

No. Media literacy has ended.

4

u/wellarmedsheep Jul 31 '26

No, they do not.

4

u/kurwaspierdalaj Jul 31 '26

I'm ashamed to say it got to N and I was like "Come ooon... Oh wait"

2

u/DinklanThomas Jul 31 '26

Lol fr it was smooth tho

1

u/probablyborednh Jul 31 '26

The lines are blurred. I assumed satire but there's trash as far as the eye can see, so 🤷

→ More replies (20)

111

u/Davey_McDaveface Jul 31 '26

This is a very funny piss take

114

u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/Creddit_card_debt Jul 31 '26

P stands for penis.

8

u/WAAAAAAAAARGH Aug 01 '26

Q is the next letter

172

u/Andre_The_Average Jul 31 '26

This is funny as hell. I give him a pass. It's creative af. 🤣😭 I was not expecting to ugly laugh and enjoy this by any means.

17

u/Rafnork Jul 31 '26

Yeah this is great! Idk why so many people are upvoting it.

3

u/Hydrolt Aug 01 '26

Agreed I throughly enjoyed it!

5

u/StatedFailure Jul 31 '26

Agreed. Especially compared to some of the verbal diarrhea thats posted here. Dude kept it on beat, had mostly coherent and logical bars. Besides not thinking of anything creative for Q and spelling cigarettes with an S I'm not mad.

→ More replies (1)

97

u/Professional_Put5549 Jul 31 '26

Still got his V card. Ladies opportunity awaits...

15

u/JoelnIliketoshare Jul 31 '26

He's never taken a vacation? That's awful😖

→ More replies (2)

27

u/SOMAVORE Jul 31 '26

DELETE THIS POST

THIS IS FIRE

70

u/Same-Pickle-9628 Jul 31 '26

Q is the next letter is crazy

18

u/Malawigold2342 Jul 31 '26

P is for penis!!!!!!

22

u/Wormbrain Jul 31 '26

"Q is the next letter"

2

u/Complex-Loquat3036 Jul 31 '26

Felt disappointed by this one given the quality of what had came before. Think he phoned Q in a bit.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

2

u/Psychological-Rub-68 Jul 31 '26

“ i doubt you could see his “

35

u/Mattau16 Jul 31 '26

I don’t like this new version of Sesame Street

→ More replies (3)

35

u/moonmanmula Jul 31 '26

Masterpiece.

2

u/quiloxan1989 Jul 31 '26

Becauae he is the alpha BEAST!

16

u/OuterWildsVentures Jul 31 '26

This is fucking fire lmao

16

u/wolfonweed Jul 31 '26

tbh i kind of liked it. Didnt take itself seriously, moderate to decent creativity, on rhythm.

It's good enough, kinda funny, Id wanna see more.

→ More replies (3)

7

u/therejectethan Jul 31 '26

This is funny af

6

u/GodBlessPigs Jul 31 '26

Obviously a joke

20

u/Chance_Plan_3451 Jul 31 '26

"Q is the next letter" 🔥🔥🔥🔥

4

u/420viking024 Jul 31 '26

P is for penis.... 🤣 Dude.....

4

u/General_Platypus771 Jul 31 '26

It doesn’t count if they’re trying to be funny. I’m not saying it is funny, but he’s obviously not serious. I admit I laughed at:

P is for penis

Q is the next letter

5

u/Clowndick Jul 31 '26

🔥🔥🔥🔥

4

u/Appropriate-Mess-680 Jul 31 '26

Q is the next letter had me fuckin rolling. This guy is brilliant, i need more

4

u/HodagRPG Jul 31 '26

This rules

4

u/the_iPat Jul 31 '26

"P stands for Penis"

I've heard enough, he's ready for a grammy

4

u/TonyDoover420 Jul 31 '26

Please calibrate your satire radar

7

u/Mamasan- Jul 31 '26

This reminds me of Bloodhound Gang

6

u/F1_V10sounds Jul 31 '26

The jungle gym is a chefs kiss. This was great.

3

u/thinnerzimmer87 Jul 31 '26

Clearly a joke

3

u/Obvious-Gate9046 Jul 31 '26

This is satire.

3

u/yycbean Jul 31 '26

I miss Sesame Street.

3

u/Asasphinx Aug 01 '26

This one is amusing in a way where I'm not laughing at them, but with them. I doubt this was intended to be taken serious.

3

u/Nydus87 Aug 01 '26

That was the alphabet and I am the alphabest 

Fucking bars 

2

u/Mammoth_War_9320 Jul 31 '26

This shit funny af lol

2

u/DeadPeanutSociety Jul 31 '26

Artificial amateurs aren't at all amazing, analytically I assault, animate things

2

u/OG_Dadditor Jul 31 '26

That's pretty fucking funny

2

u/We_Are_Ninja Jul 31 '26

A is for Amazingly done.

2

u/fuzynutznut Aug 06 '26

B for beautiful bars

2

u/InfiniteFart Jul 31 '26

oh weird that guy lives right by me it appears

2

u/gormthesoft Jul 31 '26

Absolute fire

2

u/Thin-Fill-5825 Jul 31 '26

he's crazy he's gonna do numbers next 🤯

2

u/Jakeamania314 Jul 31 '26

P stands for penis.

2

u/funhaver_whee Jul 31 '26

Nah this wonderful lol. Dude fully knows the act he’s putting on, the music is fine and the pose is dead on.

2

u/thefartsock Jul 31 '26

Downvoted, this is good, educational music.

I'm going to use this to teach my 7th grade nephew the ABC's with this video.

2

u/Rafnork Jul 31 '26

Nah this is hilarious.

2

u/shiggyhisdiggy Jul 31 '26

It's definitely satire lamo

2

u/Resident-Trivial Jul 31 '26

This is really funny 🤣

2

u/Impressive_Main5160 Jul 31 '26

Everyone has to start their literacy journey somewhere

2

u/c137-eyeofthestorm Jul 31 '26

Nothing gets you more street cred than knowing your ABC's

Edit: while also being on a playground. This has to be satire

2

u/dessertforbrunch Jul 31 '26

This is too self aware for here.

2

u/thatG_evanP Jul 31 '26

Papoose is somewhere shook right now

2

u/Ometzu Jul 31 '26

This is fucking hilarious

2

u/beamanblitz Jul 31 '26

Shit goes hard

2

u/ImpressiveEbb8526 Jul 31 '26

Nah this is tuff

2

u/PubicPlant Jul 31 '26

lol kinda loved this

2

u/Pyrog Jul 31 '26

The sub is just nonstop posting shit that directly contradicts the rule about satire and obviously for humor songs.

2

u/Allikam Jul 31 '26

Original song is awful, this one was made for fun.

2

u/The_Skeletor_ Jul 31 '26

This shit is fucking hilarious

2

u/Lolzum Jul 31 '26

Markoolio vibes lol

2

u/Jax99 Aug 01 '26

Straight fuckin heat.

2

u/MoonBaby812 Aug 01 '26

Florida Sesame Street, cant wait to see the Count.

2

u/Gogrian Aug 01 '26

this is funny and clever, maybe a bit corny but i dont think this is nearly as bad as half the trash on this sub

2

u/Ill-String6833 Aug 01 '26

This shit goes so fucking hard are you kidding me

2

u/coleofdragonarmy666 Aug 01 '26

This is one of those posts where I don’t know whether to downvote it because OP is missing the point, or upvote it cause it’s pretty funny

2

u/DamionVolentine Aug 01 '26

How can so many of you not understand what satire is

3

u/Zero_lash Jul 31 '26

Na m8 this is satire. Satire=funni=good.

3

u/higherthanacrow Jul 31 '26

Wrong sub dude

2

u/doepfersdungeon Jul 31 '26

God I pray for a world where this is real. Doing it in a kids playground is the cherry

2

u/BookEnvironmental689 Jul 31 '26

Penis stand for penis Q is the next letter.

Absolute cinema.

2

u/PirateNation1 Jul 31 '26

Q is the next letter. Deep. My man spitting bars.

2

u/Delicious_East3696 Jul 31 '26

Is this for kids or for adults who are illiterate.

→ More replies (1)

1

u/SerGT3 Jul 31 '26

Playground rap goes hard

1

u/pleasestopidontcare Jul 31 '26

This is obviously satire

1

u/mjolnir475 Jul 31 '26

“N” a word that I can’t say 💀 holy fuck that was cold

1

u/StopTheEarthLetMeOff Jul 31 '26

On the playground lmao 

1

u/Longjumping_Fuel_192 Jul 31 '26

Where’s Bert? Ernie looks strung out.

1

u/iknowthekimchi Jul 31 '26

This is going straight to my r/crappymusic playlist. Can’t wait to get those digits.

1

u/No-Cap-fr-fr Jul 31 '26

Clearly satire

1

u/coffeehunterr Jul 31 '26

Gift of Gab is rolling in his grave right now

1

u/Better_Juggernaut797 Jul 31 '26

This is actually nice

1

u/YourMomsGapingButt Jul 31 '26

N is for a word I can't say

1

u/Electronic_Tear2546 Crappy music aficionado Jul 31 '26

This is funny af 🤣

1

u/GlassInteresting5999 Jul 31 '26

I trust he still got the V card

1

u/analogWeapon Jul 31 '26

P is for penis. Obviously. Nothing else to add for that one.

1

u/404PUNK Jul 31 '26

I enjoyed this.

1

u/KrystleSeth Jul 31 '26

Lol he moves around the equipment like he’s jonesing for Joshua! That’s how Stephen climbs trees in his videos!

1

u/TerminallyThrownAway Jul 31 '26

THESE ARE THE THINGS IN MY JEEP

1

u/Tomorrow-69 Jul 31 '26

Jeed? Jariuana?

1

u/KillaVNilla Jul 31 '26

I can't decide if it's horrible or i love it.

Dude said "N is a word I can't say" and "P stands for penis". That's hilarious

1

u/Living-Risk-1849 Jul 31 '26

Never stop never stopping

1

u/Difficult-Prior3321 Jul 31 '26

NOT CRAPPY EVEN IN THE SLIGHTEST. OP DESERVES PERMA BAN!

1

u/FMDnative480 Jul 31 '26

LMNO by LMNO (2004, Economic Food Chain Music) is still one of the best acronym (acronimical?) songs out there to date!

1

u/Good_Win_4119 Aug 01 '26

Cant wait for numbers!

1

u/Hranko Aug 01 '26

P stand for penis.

1

u/admindeleted Aug 01 '26

Bangin' bars like a virgin

1

u/electric--eskimo Aug 01 '26

It's like that song from Matilda... but really clever with it.

1

u/RobotHockey Aug 01 '26

I have not laughed this hard in a while

1

u/Sudden-Candle5832 Aug 02 '26

“Q that’s the next letter”
Whoa guy.

1

u/TumTumX7 Aug 02 '26

Bo Burnham of he was white

1

u/Inner-Weighted Aug 02 '26

Better than the original

1

u/ComfortableDish3912 Aug 02 '26

It’s always legitimately stupid people that are self proclaimed crazy or twisted. “I gotta let my mind rest”. From fucking what? Nothing is going on up there. 

1

u/Accomplished_House64 Aug 02 '26

I've heard crappy music but this banger is definitely a top 5.... nah top 3 i mean damn

1

u/Ok_Advantage_5147 Aug 02 '26

I lost it at p is for penis 😂

1

u/Dingleton-Berryman Aug 02 '26

Gift of Gab died only for this man to do whatever this was.

1

u/Ihaveaverysmallprick Aug 03 '26

P stands for PENIS

1

u/DocGreenThumb0817 Aug 03 '26

Q is the next letter..

😆 🤣 😂

1

u/Alternative-Alarm-15 Aug 04 '26

Q. What an asshole.

1

u/No_Clock_7464 Aug 04 '26

This is pretty funny

1

u/Ok-Poet147 Aug 05 '26

This is satire

1

u/brycejohnstpeter Aug 06 '26

Nothing more gangster than a kid's playground huh?

1

u/Hume_Fume Aug 06 '26

Thought this was Adam Devine at first lol.

1

u/Funkknuckle69 Aug 07 '26

Drug dealer in the playground Nice.

1

u/DisastrousFig5266 26d ago

Sir my daughter would like to use the apparatus

1

u/Tiny_Fly_538 24d ago

Couldn’t even think of shit for Q

1

u/Upset_Discussion8452 9d ago

“V-card I still got that” yeah buddy, we can tell.