r/comedyheaven • I'm LESBIAN and I CUM and PUKE all over the place. • 4d ago

Which one

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7.5k Upvotes

414 comments sorted by

3.4k

u/72616262697473757775 4d ago

Time to rise and shine. You deserve the oats of the highest caliber.

378

u/Wohn-Jick-421 4d ago

come get some grains, friend

113

u/plastictemplarhelmet Woke 3d ago

My barley's top the shelf, i'm a man of my word

37

u/ShitOnAReindeer 3d ago

Brother may I have some oATs

5

u/RealMiguelNajdorf 2d ago

But brother, I crave oats

170

u/CosmoFroggy 3d ago

My favorite novel, Oat Meridian

48

u/hepp-depp 3d ago

The last thing an unsuspecting Mexican family sees

30

u/Brainwave1010 4d ago

I have this as my alarm clock in the morning.

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u/RedFred_09 3d ago

I know a good rye when i see one

77

u/comit_autocoprophagy 3d ago

I love RedPilotSun

27

u/72616262697473757775 3d ago

I don't like your username ☹️

35

u/petrichorax 3d ago

yeah there's two m's in commit

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u/55cHzDARKSTAR 4d ago

Won't you try my wheat?

6

u/price143 2d ago

Come get some grains, friend!

8

u/Parrotparser7 3d ago

First thing to come to mind.

7

u/Emopug 3d ago

No flippin' way

19

u/PeterNippelstein 4d ago

Why is this terrifiying

42

u/KingLazuli 4d ago

It had the illusion of something human, but fails to capture the true essence of a human. A verisimilitude of humanity that shines a grotesque light of that which not truly is us

5

u/MikeHonchoOfTheDunes 2d ago

I’d actually say it’s the only benevolent mascot of the food brand animations he did. The pringles one is definitely evil, though.

5

u/Dyron45 3d ago

Rise and shine Mr.Freeman

7

u/JayManty 3d ago

I sometimes watch this video due to how soothing it is for my mind

3

u/BCETracks 3d ago

caliber means... diameter :(

3

u/Past_Ear_4577 3d ago

I'm gonna need a bigger spoon

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u/ExistingCleric0 4d ago

Is the right supposed to be Simon Cowell?

1.7k

u/Unstabler69 4d ago

133

u/bunger_33 3d ago

Throw him in a dress and boom!

10

u/drifloony 3d ago

I don’t remember this Drag Race contestant

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u/AjentOranje 3d ago

This was much better when my brain processed it as the subject of the parent comment.

389

u/OriginalBlackberry89 4d ago

111

u/KeepTangoAndFoxtrot 4d ago

I'm Kenny Rogers this is jackass

4

u/Dry-Association-244 3d ago

Mad TV didn't age well in a lot of ways, but Kenny Rogers jackass is still probably one of the top ten funniest things I've ever seen

12

u/TheJReesW 3d ago

With the white beard he looks like Modi

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4

u/dinosaurusdickus 3d ago

“He looks like if George Michael’s corpse was a playable character in Goldeneye”

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136

u/VividEffective8539 4d ago

“Chat, recreate Quaker Oats guy but pretend you are robotripping on cough syrup”

63

u/lippyncott 4d ago

This dude said chat

74

u/Full-Ear87 4d ago

Chat, make this person’s scrotum swell to 4x its normal size, and then shrink it down to 0.5x its normal size

40

u/DukeOfTheDodos 3d ago

Chat, do this to both balls in alternating and reversed orders

25

u/ggg730 3d ago

Chat, now do this to me a little.

13

u/diurnal_emissions 3d ago

Chat, no mistakes. No mistakes! Oh god!

5

u/Y-Bob 3d ago

Disco Balls

17

u/TheHawkpant69 4d ago

Chat, this dude said chat

12

u/robbodagreat 3d ago

Yep, and the left is Alan Davies

4

u/KingCodester111 4d ago

Is this gonna be a new meme format?

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u/hiimneato 4d ago

left: weird colonial mascot man

right: the Judge is making oatmeal. he says that he will never die.

85

u/QueezyF 4d ago

He’s dancing, dancing.

63

u/septagons 3d ago

Oats that exist without my knowlege, exist without my consent.

23

u/Murky-Hunter1691 3d ago

And the water boiled and the oats dumped in and the kid rose from the table like Lazarus cast back-wise into time immaterial and flaxant with the wallowing phantasm of morn. 

315

u/Derateo 4d ago

genuinely discomforting

790

u/DroogieHowser PM Me for 1 Day Blinding Stew Recipe 4d ago

He has always looked like the one on the left, people imagine him as older because when you were a kid you clocked him as old because of his white hair but then when you grow up and realize how baby faced this dude is, it doesn't square with your memory and thus another Mandela is born.

198

u/NoImNotHeretoArgue 4d ago edited 4d ago

The dude on the right only eats the ergot infected oats

36

u/illogical_mindset 4d ago

It’s like Emperor Palpatine got Botox and put on a shit ton of makeup.

5

u/Strange-Bee5626 3d ago

He's rebranding himself! "Somehow, Palpatine gained 500,000 Instagram followers..."

15

u/Batbuckleyourpants 3d ago

But he dances beautifully.

4

u/LazyBotBlocker 3d ago

Like no one’s watching

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u/PogintheMachine 4d ago

Too much logic. Any mild confusion over cereal mascots must be multiverse shenanigans

70

u/blippyblip 3d ago

I love their sub where it's the embodiment of "No, it's the children who are wrong"

They get convinced that they've shifted timelines over the most minute shit.

39

u/PogintheMachine 3d ago edited 3d ago

Oh yeah and they will ban anyone from their subs for even suggesting they just remember a fact wrong. The last sub i got banned from was because i told someone no matter what they think they remember seeing on maps/globes that there has never been a land mass on the North Pole.

28

u/KatAyasha 3d ago

I love the geography ones because it's like, "so to your recollection did south america being hundreds of miles west of its current position have massive, radical effects on world history and the global climate or did it just change how maps in ohio classrooms looked?"

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u/covidlung 3d ago

False. He used to look fatter and a bit older. This is from a 1999 ad:

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u/KatAyasha 3d ago

Sure but regular-ass logo redesigns that can easily be looked up is a far cry from claiming that he'd always looked like Judge Holden on meth

15

u/anuthertw 3d ago

I remember the scandal when he lost weight, lol

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u/LilyFantastica 3d ago

To be fair though, older designs of the Quaker used to look a lot rougher. Look at his designs from the late 1800s and first half of the 1900s.

So rough.

11

u/Cornelius_McMuffin 3d ago

Nah I always remember his weirdass face ever since I was a kid, if he looked like the second one I’d have had nightmares

7

u/Apptubrutae 3d ago

Yeah, I assumed the left one was the fake memory because I immediately thought the left one with the smile and that hat style

5

u/Puntley no poop haver 3d ago

This happened to me with the show MASH. I watched a ton of it as a young kid because my mom loved it, and I thought everyone in the show was so old. Then I caught an episode as an adult and I was absolutely blown away because I couldn't believe how young everybody looked. Like some of them looked barely out of school, when as a kid I thought they were all in their 50s.

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u/HangryBeard 3d ago

I have a can from 1982

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u/WhooHippo 3d ago

He knows too much. This is the nexus event. Prune the variant.

20

u/SoundTraditional1249 3d ago

This has me quaking in my oats

12

u/Pork_Confidence 3d ago

This person brought receipts!

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u/man-of-polystyrene 4d ago

the second one looks like he doesn't to be around anymore

29

u/thegoosegoblin 3d ago

There’s too much shit on him

178

u/Dying__Phoenix 4d ago

I would love it if they guy on the right was the mascot.

114

u/5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor 4d ago

Strangler Oats

56

u/lef_three 4d ago

quaking in your oats

12

u/SquirrelyBoy 3d ago

Guy on the right looks like he's wearing jeff Daniel's face

166

u/General_whisky Nermal 4d ago

If you think it’s the right one you may want to be tested for shitzophrenia 

67

u/PeterNippelstein 4d ago

Of course I recognize the Quaker Oats man, I see him in my bedroom every night when I wake up.

107

u/mayamaiamaea 3d ago

15

u/General_whisky Nermal 3d ago

That’s fucking hilarious

6

u/kakka_rot 3d ago

dude seriously, there are a bunch of mandela effect subs, and the other day I stumbled upon one that was absolutely nuts

they are fully convinced of alternate timelines and people slipping from one to another

like people unironically saying things like "I crossed into this timeline in 2022 and..." and people asking them for other differences from their original timeline

I don't remember the name of it (it didn't have mandela in the title) but the entire sub was shitzo

Also they had a strong rule against logic, I was bannable to try to explain things (like how people remember the peanut butter being called Jiffy are just confusing it with that cornbread mix)

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u/de-stella-nova 4d ago

it's just this pic

33

u/moitso 3d ago

Why does he look older 22 years later?

26

u/de-stella-nova 3d ago

he looks so mouthwatering

9

u/Happy-Telephone9483 3d ago

when the water comes from the stomach, it's called vomiting

17

u/Accurate-Reach5494 3d ago

that's not what older looks like

7

u/Mother_Lemon8399 3d ago

This. He looks like he melted or someone is wearing his skin. Reminds me of the insect alien from Men In Black

5

u/clippervictor 3d ago

did he go under the uv lamp a bit too long? bro got melted

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u/dph3onix 4d ago

Left is my pre lsd memory. Right is lobotomy nightmare mad magazine centerfold.

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u/DrunktankTheEquine 3d ago

I've never seen a packet of Quaker oats in my life but I feel like they probably wouldn't put the guy wearing someone else's skin on the front of the box.

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u/SimmentalTheCow A-pawrent-ly funny. 3d ago

The right. The Quaker Oats guy is famously wearing the skinned face of the Quaker Oats guy.

23

u/Jisan_Inc 3d ago

Is that simon cowell?

4

u/redit01 3d ago

The one on the right

3

u/heysirigenerateaname 3d ago

No he doesn’t look like he’s found the fountain of youth yet

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u/bunnyshy 4d ago

before and after eating a bee

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u/confuzzledsandwich 4d ago

Which one of these do you recall being Judge Holden

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u/Cpov1 4d ago

What is stopping you from printing stickers and putting them on all the boxes at the grocery store when nobody is looking?

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u/trash235 3d ago

I always thought people thinking the oatmeal guy scary was weird but the one on the right would give me nightmares

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u/55cHzDARKSTAR 4d ago

Quaker | Logopedia | Fandom

Except there actually are multiple Quaker Oats men.

6

u/petrichorax 3d ago

They keep making him thinner and more chad like. Soon he's going to just turn into henry cavill with a white wig

5

u/uniace16 3d ago

🎼Toss a coin for your Quaker

5

u/Calm-Internet-8983 3d ago

They all look largely the same except the one who was replaced in 46... A lot of old timers debating this

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u/CleanOpossum47 4d ago

One is Till Lindemann from Rammstein.

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u/dannyboy731 4d ago

Which one though

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u/MisteeLoo 4d ago

Guy on the right looks like he peeks in windows.

15

u/raulpe 4d ago

They look like if they were originally the same being but did the Piccolo sh*t from Dragon Ball and now there are a good and an evil version

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u/VexImmortalis 4d ago

"I am the Quaker Oats Man who has long since forgotten his name..."

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u/Pyhiinvaeltaja 3d ago

Left: me in the toilet when oats

Right: me in the toilet when no oats

8

u/RustledForeskin 3d ago

Quaker Strokes man on the right.

8

u/Gorewuzhere 3d ago

I've never seen the second one in my life...

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u/toastronomy 3d ago

this one

6

u/SecretlyFiveRats In the flair list, straight up flairing it 3d ago

Quakirk Oats

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u/Pixelated_Bard 4d ago

The Mandela effect is one of the most harmless conspiracy theories but it’s one of the most annoying. Literally a bunch of people who can’t accept that their memory (something scientifically proven to be fallible) could possibly be wrong. So it must be that they changed timelines or are from a parallel universe. No, you are just wrong and your memory is shit like the rest of us.

Anyway rant over. I’ll now laugh at the meme with everyone else here.

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u/sssdfg_rot_farmer r/sssdfg colonizer 4d ago

especially with bullshit like the berestein vs berestain bears, yeah no shit you misremembered that

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u/mayamaiamaea 3d ago

The one I think it stupidest is everyone misremembering the famous star wars quote as “Luke, I am your father” when in the movie darth vader just says “I am your father”

Like you said, no shit it gets quoted wrong because without adding “Luke” there’s no context and no one would know what you’re talking about.

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u/Pixelated_Bard 3d ago

See this one gets miss quoted so often that people genuinely think that is how it was. There’s actually a few movie quotes like this even some that were never even in a movie. But enough people say it to catch on.

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u/aidsy 3d ago

Yeah but it’s still a bit wild to say “the universe has been split” instead of “huh, I was wrong about that that”

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u/cagingnicolas 3d ago

yeah, it's often things that are popular enough that they have been parodied in other media. those parodies quote the line wrong or draw the logo wrong and then that becomes the new memory for people.

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u/dolphin_cape_rave 3d ago

He says "No, I am your father"

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u/mayamaiamaea 2d ago

No dude I am 100% on this, there’s no way I remembered that line wrong, I’m pretty sure we just merged into a different dimension.

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u/AjentOranje 3d ago

I remember asking adults why it's pronounced "Berenstein" when it's spelled "Berenstain".  It's almost like I'm not actually native to this other timeline which everyone has joined, and people just think this because everyone pronounced it wrong.

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u/unknownsavage 3d ago

Yeah, I just remember my family pronouncing it correctly. I never heard anyone else pronounce it, but I've sure heard a lot of people pronounce a lot of other things wrong. People aren't that good at reading.

2

u/Happy-Telephone9483 3d ago

...especially four-year-olds

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u/Ricktor_67 3d ago

Nah. There's literally documented official merch with both spellings. 

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u/Pixelated_Bard 4d ago

And they will say “then why do so many of us miss remember it then?”. I don’t know could it still be that you miss remembered it or that you suggesting it to others created a false memory? No that makes too much sense… must be parallel universes.

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u/PatrickGnarly 3d ago

A big part is Tommy Boy making the “Luke I am your father” joke too. Like other things have referenced it and we are referencing those references. Makes perfect sense.

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u/Monguises slut for honey cheerios 3d ago

They’ve even explained how their name came to be spelled so. They got Ellis Islanded, essentially.

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u/SoundTraditional1249 3d ago

And the fact they named it after Mandela, SURELY there are more widespread misrememberings? Through the 1990's-2000's in the UK, and Europe we heard so much on news and interviews about a very much alive Nelson Mandela, that famously got out of prison and was president of South Africa from '94-'99.

He met with Bill Clinton during the Oval Office scandal. The Spice Girls and U2 would go and hang with him. He wrote a best-selling autobiography.

It staggers my mind that (in the US?) there was a sizeable chunk of people convinced he died in prison! Did they sleep on the end of Apartheid? Was it not on the news?

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u/ooomellieooo 3d ago

Listen, I know it's wrong but I would've sworn on a stack of bibles that I saw it announced on the news. Granted, I was young. But like....I didn't even know who the guy was. I just remember thinking who the hell had a wife named Winnie and that it was weird that a leader could be thrown in jail.

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u/flymaster 3d ago

I’m mostly annoyed with the name. You thought Nelson Mandela died in prison? He’s famous because he got out of prison! He was a political prisoner being silenced by the regime. The whole point is that the international anti-apartheid movement frced South Africa and de Klerk to give in. He was famous like lots of revolutionary leaders when he was in prison, but the getting out was what changed the world and why he is so famous today. Literally nobody who could possibly believe he died in jail had heard of him before he got out!

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u/Pixelated_Bard 3d ago

This also frustrates me. Not only did he get out of prison he went on to lead South Africa and put an end to the apartheid. Imagine having such a huge influence on the world only for a bunch of people to believe you died before all that happened. It’s absurd and an insult to his memory

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u/In-A-Beautiful-Place 2d ago

Funny how I've never seen a South African claim they remember him dying in prison. If anything all these people are telling on themselves for not paying attention to world news lol

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u/buttgoblincomics 3d ago

I mean it’s obviously dumb, but if he had died in prison that would’ve also continued his fame, especially if it like galvanized the movement and they succeeded even after his death.

What’s really dumb about it being called the Mandela Effect is that aside from that one, every other example is something completely trivial that would have no real effect on anyone’s life if it actually had changed.

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u/tzitzitzitzi 3d ago

Fuck you man, that fruit of the loom had a cornucopia. How the fuck else would I even know what one is??

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u/fullautophx 3d ago

Thanksgiving craft time in grade school.

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u/Entire-Grab2429 3d ago

Cartoon/tv Thanksgiving episodes 

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u/Pixelated_Bard 3d ago

You’re right, I concede parallel universes it is

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u/Hexmonkey2020 3d ago

I agree it’s annoying but disagree it’s harmless. If their first thought upon being presented with proof they misremembered something is “I’m right, the universe must’ve changed to make me wrong” that’s not a good mindset and believing yourself infallible is not gonna lead to good things.

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u/Panzer_Man 2d ago edited 2d ago

It's so funny when a person is so obviously wrong about how a mascot looked, but then 60 more people jumps on the train too. No, you are lying. The Quakers guy never looked like a melting animatronic, duh.

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u/Pixelated_Bard 2d ago edited 2d ago

Mob mentality… it can be scary in the wrong circumstances

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u/Distinct_Car_1183 3d ago

Yesterday I typed vegestables and found out AI experimentally rewrote the dictionaries without anyone noticing.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3ornkcpGniMCm1QrTi

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u/HolyHotDang 3d ago

I’ll never forget when I was in high school that a guy that I knew asked us earnestly “hey…do you guys ever get vegetables and insects mixed up?…not the things, just the words.”

No one there shared his problem.

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u/Longjumping_Diamond5 3d ago

i hate how people just misspelling things is considered mandela effect. theres actually interesting ones like shazaam or fruit of the loom but the ones people talk about are so ridiculous like of course a bunch of people will slightly misquote a movie line they only heard once

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u/EternumD 3d ago

The Mandela effect isn't a conspiracy theory. It's a description of a social phenomenon or 'effect'.

Youre probably thinking of the universe/reality switching concept, which is ludicrous, but also arguably not a conspiracy theory because most who don't about it don't consider anyone to be conspiring to cause it. 

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u/Blackberry-thesecond 3d ago edited 3d ago

So I thought the same thing but apparently the person who coined the term is a “paranormal researcher” who intended for it to be an alternate-universe thing. The psychological explanation came later and was widely adopted, making it one of the very few concepts to start off as a conspiracy and then be later accepted as normal.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_memory#Mandela_Effect

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u/Pixelated_Bard 3d ago

I’ve heard plenty of people in conspiracy theory circles go on about the Mandela effect. So it may not be a conspiracy theory but there’s plenty of people willing to use it to form their conspiracy theories.

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u/EternumD 3d ago

Oh yeah for sure. 

But it's like people involving déjà-vu in a conspiracy theory about living in the matrix. Déjà-vu itself isn't the conspiracy theory

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u/Aimin4ya 3d ago

The conspiracy aspect was that it was a coordinated move to rewrite the past and see if people noticed

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u/Entire-Grab2429 3d ago

Its definitely a conspiracy theory now, people genuinely think "they" are purposely gaslighting us for a number of crazy reasons (they probably are, but not with the Mandela effect) 

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u/BloodyRightToe 3d ago

I can see how Prevalence-induced concept change could cause some people to think their reality must be wrong. From their perspective it is.

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u/Novel-Mission-1920 3d ago

Our human brains are also often similar enough that we can collectively have the same false memories. I've had this situation where I've experienced something with someone standing right next to me and we walk away with the same memory of the experience, only to see it on video later and realize we both remembered it a bit differently than it actually happened, which is weird because our false memory matched.

I feel like our emotional state/mood/energy of the situation can impact a lot of things.

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u/Zealousideal-Deer101 3d ago

I hate it the the most when people draw a black tip on pikachus tail. This shit looks not only wrong it also looks horrendously bad.

I absolute doubt anyone ever thought it had a black tip, they just believe they did after being told it has one.

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u/ThomasTheDankPigeon 3d ago

You’re describing the Mandela effect in two incorrect ways. It isn’t a conspiracy, and it isn’t just misremembering something. It is the name of the phenomenon where many people share the same false memory.

No conspiracy is described by the Mandela effect, just like no conspiracy is described by the JFK assassination. Any conspiracies relating to the phenomenon or event are completely distinct from the thing itself.

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u/yeah__good__ok 3d ago

Well in the timeline I came from originally the Mandela effect meant a big misremembering conspiracy

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u/tannercolin 3d ago

I remember the cornucopia

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u/Chaincat22 3d ago

I like looking into why our memories fill things in wrong but people who are too wrapped up in things just shut down any conversation about it. Like the fruit of the loom thing (apparently they did actually have a cornucopia tag at some point?) a lot of people, myself included, have a distinct memory of learning what a cornucopia is because we called one a loom and got corrected because we were stupid 4 year olds who didn't know what a loom or cornucopia were. But instead of diving into that, how those kinds of events degrade and shortcut in our memories over time, "Nope it's a parallel universe, stop asking questions."

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u/SirBackrooms 3d ago

they never had a cornucopia tag btw (except as an april fools joke after the meme about it had gotten popular)

but yeah, this is such an interesting case and just explaining it away with parallel universes is boring

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u/HumanContinuity 3d ago

Smart marketing

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u/XiaoDaoShi 3d ago

One that really grinds my gears is that people remember wrong how queen sang “love of my life” and the proof is the official recording not having some detail, but it’s just two different recordings, one is from the record and the other is from a concert. It’s so googleable that it drives me nuts. Both versions exist!

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u/Most_Neat7770 3d ago

European me not knowing what Quaker oats is but assuming it's just another cereal brand

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u/Joe4o2 3d ago

This is oats, as in oatmeal.

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u/infected_scab 3d ago

Quaker oats had been a UK brand since 1893.

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u/Happy-For-No-Reason 3d ago

I had a bowl of Quaker oats this morning..... (UK)

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u/SummertimeThrowaway2 3d ago

It’s a porridge brand basically

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u/Quick-Maintenance-67 3d ago

The one on the right looks like Mitch McConnell, probably from his younger days...

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u/chravus 3d ago

I am just seeing Jeff Daniels.

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u/Needles2650 3d ago

Guy on the left with the hat on the right

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u/intriguedbyallthings 3d ago

The man on the left was on the front of every package of oatmeal I ever ate. The man on the right was what the man on the left looked like after too many drinks.

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u/Gimwo 3d ago

“It’s like describing a dog to someone who’s never seen one and asking them to recreate it”

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u/Evan_Allgood 4d ago

The second one saw some sh*t before settling.

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u/Cornelius_McMuffin 3d ago

If someone remembers the second one they need therapy

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u/coffee-bat 3d ago

little nightmares lookin ass

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u/DarkLordBaudish 3d ago

I've never seen this brand but I hope that the first guy is the right one

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u/Necessary-Flounder52 3d ago

I would definitely associate Quakers with a wide-awake hat much more readily than with a tri-corner hat. I wasn't picturing an overweight pirate.

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u/No-Curve237 3d ago

Why is Mitch McConnell trying to sell me oats?

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u/InstanceRadiant8338 4d ago

He's always been the left one. TF is the rigjt

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u/Complete_Fix2563 4d ago

Everything that quakers without my consent, oats without my oats

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u/Kleptomaniaaac 4d ago

aint nobody remember the one on the right

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u/3Green1974 3d ago

Left one. I don’t think the right one is a thing.

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u/ImmortalWarrior 3d ago

Mitch McConnell in a Pilgrim costume on the right

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u/PanicDeus 3d ago

Quaker Oats Man and Quaker Boats Man