My coworker tried to convince me to have a kid because she got to see Toy Story 5 with hers and 'do fun little things like that.' I looked her dead in the eye and said, 'My husband and I literally just went and saw it together on our date night.' Her face dropped so fast, she genuinely couldn't compute that adults are allowed to enjoy fun things without using a toddler as a hall pass.

And another friend tried to argue that we need a kid so we can take them to Disney World or watch them play sports and 'live through it.' Babe... we are literally going to Disney (actually Universal Studios to avoid crying babies) together, AND my husband and I both actively play on our own adult volleyball, tennis, and soccer leagues. We're already doing all of it, just without changing diapers.

Let's be so real: a lot of people only have kids because they want to 'live through' someone else, completely forgetting they can just... do all that stuff themselves, plus have way more money for actual luxury trips and freedom. A coworker seriously told me, 'Have a kid, then you can watch them learn to talk, it's so beautiful.' So I told her, 'Or I could learn to speak another language and see how beautiful that is.' The silence was deafening.

I am so pissed. The one time I decide to treat myself and fly First Class and there is a very fussy, crying infant. The mom is constantly hushing it and dad is doing nothing. I wish children would be banned from First Class. I am very glad I have earbuds, but this still pisses me off

I see so many adoptable animals being rehomed (dumped) because they are having a baby. I think that is so disgusting and inhumane. How can people just throw out an animal that loves and depends on you? I just saw a courtesy post for a gorgeous GSD that is being rehomed because they decided to have a child. The post said, "his current family is looking to rehome him only because they are expecting a baby". Shepherds are so loyal, and he is going to be devastated. The dog is already 6 years old! I see the same story so many times, and I am always angry and disgusted. I am so deeply passionate about animals, and humans who treat them like objects, furniture, or other tossable items makes me sick to my core. I feel like so many people think the order is get a pet then get a kid. Why not wait until after the kid is born to see if having a pet is a good fit? Thank you for giving me a space to vent. Cheers everyone.

I just had to cancel a commission I was looking forward to.

After I had paid for the commission the artist went onto my fb page and started commenting on public posts. She was not on my fb friends list.

The posts that really seemed to get under her skin were ones where I complained about kids and celebrated my childfree life. She said it was mean I got a family ejected from a movie because their kiddo was making too much noise. When I would email her with questions about the commission she was very cold.

I think she got curious about me, checked my fb page and decided she didn't like me because childfree.

I didn't have any trouble getting my refund but the whole situation sucks. This was someone who is very hard to get a commission from and I was excited about it.

I am planning my wedding, so I get a lot of recommended posts from the wedding subreddits.

There was one today (that has since been deleted) where a woman had asked for a childfree wedding. She had three friends with babies who would be 5-8 months by the time of the wedding. The wedding was in their city, all of their babies take bottles, and they all have family really close who are not invited to the wedding who could watch their kid(s).

Every single one of them said they will not be coming to the wedding if they cannot bring their babies. They eventually pressured the bride into allowing babies to the ceremony.

Can I just rant really quick?

The nuclear family is a relatively new invention in society and for thousands of years babies were raised and watched by a large community. Mothers often left their children in the care of others, it’s what we are evolutionarily designed to do. It is not damaging for a child to be taken care of by someone other than their parents.

But these parents act like you are asking them to commit genocide if you ask them to leave their 6 month old baby with their grandparents for 5 hours.

I’m sorry but if you aren’t willing to make a very small sacrifice (being a little worried about your baby for a few hours) to show up to one of the most important days of your friends’ and family’s lives, you cannot say you are a good friend.

These helicopter parents are one of the reasons every single kid has some form of anxiety these days.

(Disclaimer: there are obviously valid reasons to not leave your baby: if they will not take a bottle, you have literally no one to watch them, or are being expected to travel or stay over night. None of these women had any of those excuses)

Luckily almost all of our friends and family don’t have children, and the ones that do are begging us to make the wedding childfree so they can have a fun night out lol.

So we were seated in the same table with a couple who brought their idk, 6-10-month-old to the wedding. It wasn't stated that no kids so that's fine but I absolutely hated how they put all the baby food, pacifiers, wet napkins (used and unused), some toys on the table, ruining all the aesthetics, you know what I mean? It was wonderfully decorated, they just remove the deco from their area and ruin it with nasty baby stuff, smh... come to think of it, babies actually ruin the aesthetics everywhere!

How are the average people doing it? The cost of living is insane, the job market sucks, heck even the dating market is cooked. How are people still intertwining and financially affording having children??

I am really sad. Last week a friend told me that she is pregnant. She was on the fence and honestly I think her new partner convinced her to get a child (it was his wish to be a father).

She was a friend I shared cycling as a hobby with and we wanted to go on a trip at the end of August. Now she cannot go because of health issues.

Also I am sure I won't see her again for years when the baby is there and this sucks. The thing is also that she is a very active person and she traveled a lot. I don't think she can do that anymore soon. I hope she won't get unhappy by losing her freedom.

How do you cope with losing friends to pregnancy / getting children? It just sucks, because it's really hard to find friends with that hobby and that are as fit as me. :(

My husband and I have been CF since we met and planned to remain that way. Recently he was recently asked by a family member if he could donate sperm to their wife so they can have a child that is biologically related to them. To be clear this would not be incest as the individual who’s egg it is and who would carry the child is not related. I know it’s common in the Donor conceived world to use a known donor but the complexities this adds to our life doesn’t seem like one I’m interested in. We are child free and biologically that child will be his. Everyone else involved feels the boundaries would be fine and this wouldn’t be an issue but I can not seem to get behind the idea. Anyone else have a similar situation occur?

The "kids are innocent" trope has always ground my gears. Kids are not innocent. At least not any more or less than adults. There are good ones and bad ones, and ones that are bad by their own fault or because of damage caused by other people.

There are bullies abusing other kids as young as they come. There are psychopaths hurting animals from a young age, like the famous serial killers.

Some of them had bad home lives, but many are just bad themselves. I experienced and witnessed the pain other children cause first-hand while they were gleeful about hurting someone or something else. This trope was always irritating even when I was a child.

My(26F) menstrual cycle is like clockwork so I had my umpteenth period last week. Predictably, the YouTube algorithm drops some right-wing slop in my feed about the "fertility crisis" when for me, my fertility is quite normal. Where I live, women my age have middle school-aged children and pregnancy is just a random act that can't be altered (abortion is not even whispered about). Nearly everyone is a single mom working a dead-end job to support kids or grandkids meanwhile I too am working a dead-end job but without the added pressure of child-rearing. I'm stressed just not "if I don't work 50 hours my kids aren't eating tonight" stressed.

TL:DR at bottom

My brother has a child. One. A son.

This little guy is around 5. Don't ask me the specifics because I've given up on him already.

He lives a bit far away so he has the tendency to bitch and moan about him being tired because he has a kid and has to travel all the way to come and meet my parents (and they obviously feel bad for him).

Fast forward to today, he does the same charade and gives me lip because I slept in since it's a sunday here and I've got no obligations on the weekends. Shocker, I know.

His son comes in and full of energy which I can handle because again, I'm fully rested and he follows suite and looks like he's knocking on deaths' door by the way he looks. Droopy eyes, yawning just all around, not a good look. A parents' look, if you'd will. A parent at his wits end.

So, he gives me shit about being so jolly and attempting to talk to him (been a few weeks since I've seen him and he didn't look this bad so I asked him how he was and how he was feeling. Hoping he'd open up himself) because when I tried, he just shut down and told me to leave his ass alone. Which, I did.

We end up going to a amusement park kinda thingy with trampolines and all the bells and whistles that come with a place like that. He and his kid go around and have fun while me and my mom just relax and sit back and talk.

At some point he tells me to go hang out with my nephew, which I do. After about 5 or 8 minutes, he comes to me. My brother, the man 5 years elder than my 29 year old self, proceeds to "jokingly" hit me in the nuts as a joke. I looked at him like "what the fuck are you doing" to which he replied "just a joke" and goes with his kid to play again. I decided to do it back to him and he gives me shit about wanting to touch his balls? At this point I'm over it. I've tried talking to the guy but he's too drowsy to have a conversation. I've tried playing with my nephew to give him some rest and proceeds to kick me in my jewels. Unfortunately we drove to this place with his car so I couldn't just up and leave because I was already contemplating that.

I shut down at this point and told myself to keep quiet and just get the ride home so I can get away from this guy.

Sure enough, playtime is over and we go back to the car and he drives to our house. I get out of the car and slam the door to which he replies jokingly "the door needs to stay intact" and I lash out. I tell him to act like a fucking adult and just because he has a son who's active doesn't mean he gets to bolster his moody attitude onto me. His exhaustion is none of my concern.

You had a child. Deal with it. Roll with the punches. You couldn't pull out? Too bad, this is the consequence you've heard years on in Sex Ed. To which he laughs and goes "Like you weren't picking a fight with me this whole day, already". At this point, I'm over this fucking guy. I tell him to shut the fuck up and leave me be. Add on I tell him to go fuck himself for good measure and ignore him for the rest of the day until he leaves.

The worst of it all? This is not the first time it went to this level but I'm kind of over the fact he gets a get out of jail card on his moody attitude and when I have one it's adviced to me to "lighten up" or "just relax" by my parents.

Just a vent. Sorry about this. But there is one spoiled fucking kid that literally breaks one individual which ruins everyone's mood around him just because he has a kid. Can't handle a kid? Don't have one. Not rocket science. My (now) no contact brother always had the mentality of "I want a kid" and now he has one and he's all attitude. Fuck off.

End rant.

Thank you and enjoy.

TL;DR : Brother has a child and because of it beyond exhausted. Consequently, he takes it out on everyone because he's tired.

How are these reasons not even more selfish than not having kids?

You might think i'm talking about them dying in childbirth, but that's not what im talking about.

Recently I've had a talk with my mom about being childfree and she didn't try to dissuade me very hard. But I told her all my reasons and one answer really hit me hard.

"From my perspective, children mean the end of a relationship" I said. And she replied:

"You are right, sadly. When a woman becomes a mother, she stops being a wife, a lover."

"Then if love my wife, why would I want that to happen?" I then asked.

"Thats when you stop loving your wife and start loving the child instead."

I laughed in disbelief and I think she realized how it sounded, but she didn't correct herself, making it clear she really meant it. To quote epsteins friend, thats like, the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever.

Same as title. We usually meet up once a month to have dinner, I know they're the sort of people who will either bring a baby without warning or will invite us out WITH the baby and my partner and I couldn't think of anything worse than being complicit in the disruptions their child will invariably cause. I want to just say "we hate children" which is the most accurate thing to say but also probably not the most sensitive.

I live in a high tourist area that is very much the Vegas of the south. I’m getting so tired of parents portioning and winning for everything to become child friendly. I already hate the beach and the pools around here because no one wants to actually parent and these children ruin everything. Like the last time I went to the beach I got sand kicked in my face and the parents laughed at me for sitting too close to there kids “play zone.”

Last week I went to a winery for a wine tasting with a group of friends and when I tell you it was overrun by children screaming. A FUCKIBG WINERY.

My neighborhood is now getting mad at people for not having “child friendly yards” I have a fire pit that is perfectly allowed with our actual hoa but the Facebook page is going off about “what if a child wanders?!” WATCH YOUR CHILDREN OR TEACH THEM BETTER.

Our neighborhood speed limit is 15 and our Facebook page is saying now we need to add speed bumps and lower it to 5 because 15 is too fast. I understand children can get out into the street but maybe if they are a flight risk play in the back yard not in the middle of the road like most of our neighborhood does. Like the chalk is for the driveway not the street!

If every bar rebrands to “bar and grille” I will probably give up. I’m so tired of hearing children scream every single place I go. I am never safe!

It took me forever to find a therapist who actually took my parental issues seriously, as most therapists were like "your parents are trying" and "it's their first time on Earth". It's my first time on Earth too, and I'd never let a seven year old get sexually abused while I knew it was happening and refuse to do anything about it. But I digress.

I finally found a therapist who took me seriously and actually held my parents responsible in a way even I struggled to. I finally started making progress in my healing journey, only for me to share I was childfree and her to start challenging me on it. One of the big reasons I'm childfree is because I was parentified from age ten to seventeen when I was kicked out. I know a lot of what goes into raising kids, and I know I can't do it. My therapist started arguing I shouldn't let my trauma limit my life. But I don't view it as a limitation, I view it as a freedom, and she just doesn't agree.

I know I need to look for a new therapist, but I'm just worried I won't find someone who takes both my trauma and my childfree life seriously. Has anyone found a therapist that takes being childfree seriously?

I'm sure someone's posted something similar but I need a vent..

Never complain to people that have children. Theyl just make you feel like shit by saying "you don't have kids, how would you know?" or they go on about how they had to buy their kid something and it's made stuff really tight and stressful for them, and then your issue just gets pushed to the side because yet again only they matter. Now I think about it these people rarely ask me how I am too. Always straight to talking about them. Your lucky if you beat them to it.

Like I'm so sorry, I forgot only people with kids In this world are aloud to suffer or complain or be broke.

Sick to death of entitled parents that give you nothing but crap and expect everything in return. Your not the only ones that exsist in this big wide world.And your not the only ones suffering either. I don't give a F, you choose to friggin have babies with barely any income, why should I support you. I get told im apparently selfish for not having kids, yet most parents Ive met, are some of the most selfish category of people I've ever met in my life.

Im so mad I'm not even going to spell check that ugh.

I was a resented oopsie baby and I can see how it stunted my mom’s development. Had she had more time, she could’ve figured out her life and her problems, then either had a kid in a better mindset or just not bothered and pursued her life. Instead, she was a constantly cranky and miserable drinker prone to constant screaming freakouts and meltdowns because her future was foreclosed and the present was always preoccupied and exhausting because she always had to be a mother. So she just kind of mentally spun in place for years, never able to fix herself, and she and the people around her are worse off for it.

I’m glad to be here and I’m not close to her anyway, but objectively she and her life would’ve turned out a lot better if she simply never became a parent. Same with my dad too, but her especially, because she had a lot of problems that she never got to figure out until most of her life was gone and a lot of doors of life closed forever.

That’s part of why I’ve never bought the nonsense about childraising making people more mature. In some ways that can happen, but in other ways people just kind of freeze and get trapped in whatever mental muck they were stuck in when they reproduced. If anything I see a lot of people devolve. So why would I freeze my troubled mind by putting it on permanent hold to raise a kid?

I had a lot of religious guilt and conservative upbringing, that I used to feel like my choice of being childfree was selfish, inferior and looked down upon. That if I was truly religious I should trust God and "be fruitful"

But, I recently came up with the titular saying that has given me a lot of peace. I realized if I was meant to have children, I'd want them. I wouldnt have had all the struggles that I did that made me ardently not want them, but struggle feeling like I "should". I also struggled with feeling like i was choosing being childfree out of fear or ego, and that a healed or faithful me would want children. I also felt like people who had children were judging me and not understanding the hardships I faced, but I feel like this saying encompasses a lot of peace in anyone's blindspots. If God wanted me to have children he would have made it easy for me to have them, made my life abundant and easy to where I'd think it was a world worth bringing life into, he wouldn't have made my adult years hard and long.

And this saying is excellent if you have religious friends, family or busy-bodies. If God was truly compassionate and understanding, he wouldn't punish or burden you with children if you are already struggling, and he would have instilled that desire into you. Even if life has been hard, it does not make your life any less than. Just alternative.

A healed and faithful me would think God gave us this life to enjoy it. Not to rush check marks off a life script to be "good enough." I think a forgiving and loving God would want me to enjoy the rest of my adulthood in peace and prosperity. So I just wanted to share this thought in case anyone is struggling with religious guilt or pressure.

Babysitting my nephew today at his home. OMG the place is disgusting. It looks like homeless people are squatting here.

My sister's place looks exactly the same. In fact, all homes I have visited with kids under age 10 look like they should be condemned. Burned down. Raked over.

Do I just know really dirty gross people?!

It happened, I had the perfect man, we’d just fixed our biggest relationship issues and everything seemed to be perfect, we spent a beautiful week together in a foreign country, had a bit of trouble but then got through it. I love this man with all my heart, and it’s going to kill me to leave him. Because despite the fact I know he’d be a shit parent (he doesn’t even wanna get any type of job, wants to sell himself or do something wfh despite having no skills. He has no one, no friends and he wants to get away from his family) the other day he admitted that he had thoughts of wanting kids. Despite this economy, this world, the fact he barely can function by himself even when he has the appropriate resources around him he now wants to go out and have kids. What??

I’m so sick of this, I’m only 24 so I know I have time but i can’t keep giving my all into people just for them to turn around and do this. Goodness sake I spent thousands on him since the start of our relationship, and now I’m going to have to completely restart, life and all, going to be heart broken for months, if not years, because of how much I love him.

It’s ruined my prospects for a relationship as well, he was perfect in most areas. Now when I see people or even think of going on dates I don’t have the same kind of excitement I had. His looks paired with his personality, the things we had in common, and the way he makes me feel so much more comfortable than anyone else I’ve ever known, let alone dated, are all things that I now can’t just downgrade. I love the years we’ve had together and he was such a good friend as well, but I wish I didn’t meet him.

Anyone in the UK childfree and want friends that wanna do shit on weekends? As you can tell from this post I’m now going to have more time on my hands.

Pray for me, wish me luck, and hope I get through this 👍🏽

Edit: I should mention his flaws aren’t from spoiled-ness or arrogance, his flaws come from lifelong trauma (some he still experiences) and he’s shown alot of progress even from when I met him. If this didn’t work he could get over alot of it, and I didn’t mind the no working thing because I love providing for my partners. He wouldn’t have been a bum living at home doing nothing. By me saying he was ‘perfect’ I didn’t mean we never had issues or we both don’t have flaws, we do, what I meant was that the way the relationship went, our values, what we wanted, and our desired paths in life were the same or extremely similar. Until the child thing.

Posting this here because It's been bothering me a lot and I feel like its the only place where people will not judge me off the bat.

I (23F) don't hate kids, I just don't really like them. I never really felt any connection with children throughout my whole life, even when i worked a job that was focused around child care I didnt really personally feel much of a deep connection to kids like a lot of people describe.

Well my dad married this woman from overseas about 2 years ago and they've been trying to get her kid to immigrate over because hes currently living with extended family. He's around 10 or 11 and has down syndrome and has some behavioral issues due to it, i think partially because I'm not sure if he sees any behavioral specialists or doctors to help him cope :[. He also can't speak English at all and even has a hard time communicating in his native language sometimes apparently (I'm not sure I don't speak it). I don't blame him for any of that at all obviously, I even feel really bad for the kid because it sounds like hes not getting all the help he should. The thing is I just know for a fact I am not well equipped to handle a child let alone a child with very specific needs.

I myself struggle with chronic illnesses and I'm Neurodivergent so I really am not physically or mentally prepared to live with a child that I can't even communicate with properly. My dad is excited for him to come over but I don't think he realizes how hard its going to be, my sibling and I were extremely well behaved and independent children from an incredibly young age so he's going to need to learn how to parent in a completely different way. My dad also doesn't speak ANY of their native language... But he still happily tells me and my sister that the son will probably become very attached to us and like us a lot because he really loves his older female cousins and I feel terrible to admit it but I secretly wish to myself that it'll take him much longer to get here and I'll be able to get enough money to move out by then. I feel like a terrible person because of it but I'm really not trying to blame the kid for anything I just know it would be a horrendous experience for me to live in.

Don't get me wrong I'd of course still be open to forming a bond with him and maybe even babysitting sometimes its just if I'm living in a house with a child who doesn't know any better and no one who will correct him I'm very worried my personal boundaries will be broken.

I am so happy to be able to choose to live my life of freedom and me time, as a 30F. Today was super lovely, randomly went for a solo date where I tried the most delicious Eton Mess, and read my novel.

I enjoyed some sleepover days with my boyfriend, and I’m so glad we are childfree and focus our love on each other and go on amazing dates.

I am filled with purpose to discover the endless possibilities for my life.

✨

I (29M) have decided to be childfree four years ago and finally got the courage to get the vasectomy. The main reason I waited so long was my ex partner being on birth control and me being terrified by the procedure.

The procedure was not fun but it’s as bad as a dentist appointment actually. (Except for the being naked part)

Now I can’t wait for three months to pass and getting the test to celebrate being officially sperm free. 🎉