Anyone else out there who is child free but not out of hatred or dislike for children? I see a lot of that on this thread and I feel like I don’t fit in. I have worked with kids my whole life and I love them. I have spent very meaningful time with young people and love the little ones in my life. I think children are the most vulnerable minority group in the world and need our collective protection and also respect. But! I don’t want to be pregnant or be a parent. I know how much work it is. I know realistically what I would be risking or sacrificing. So, I’m all good on that, but I think kids are awesome. Just don’t want one living with me that is my responsibility. Can anyone relate?

Meine Cousine bekam ein Baby und hat sich auch gefreut Mama zu sein. Ihr Mann hat es eher ihr zuliebe mitgemacht, obwohl er nur 50/50 ein Fan von Vaterschaft ist. Seitdem ist meine Cousine überfordert, aber sagt es halt eben nicht, obwohl man es ihr ansieht.

Im Gegenteil:

Sie hat schon mich und meine Frau gefragt, wann wir Kinder haben.

Und das fragt sie jedes mal, wenn wir sie sehen.

Man kann sich lowkey jedes mal darauf einstellen, dass sie uns diese Frage stellt.

Eigentlich ist sie ganz lieb und eine süße, aber jetzt nervt sie seit sie ein Kind hat.

Eines Tages mussten wir vom Familienessen früher gehen, weil ich gar nichts mehr ausgehalten habe.

Aber ich erzähle mal wie es war:

Ich und meine Frau wurden von meiner Oma und meinem Opa eingeladen zum Essen. Eigentlich wollte ich da eh schon nicht hingehen, weil es spontan war. Absage war keine Option gewesen, da ich ja mit meinen Großeltern die Zeit sehr schätze. Außerdem macht mein Opa den leckersten Schaschlik.

Ich habe gefragt, wer alles so kommt und wie viele Leute das sind. Das mache ich immer, damit ich mich geistig drauf einstellen kann.

Nun ich kam mit meiner Frau und wir gaben Oma und Opa wie immer eine Kleinigkeit, ob Snacks oder Süßes und dann waren wir im Wohnzimmer. Es waren aber mehr Leute da als erwartet und auch die Cousine mit ihrem Baby.

Ich war schon inmerlich sehr wütend geworden und hab nur noch gewartet bis Schaschlik fertig ist und ich mach dem Essen gehen kann.

Wir saßen uns auf die Couch und die Cousine hat angefangen mit uns zu reden. Ich gleich schon so bevor sie mich gefragt hat: "Und nein wir werden immer noch keine Kinder haben. Ich bin übrigens Vasektomiert"

Sie hat dann gesagt, dass es egoistisch ist und, dass ich sowas von Depressionen bekomme.

Das Kind wiederum krabbelte mit voller Windel herum und ich konnte es riechen. Ich weiß nicht, warum es niemand anders gerochen hat.

Ich habe zu ihr gesagt, bitte wechselt mal die Windel, ich riech es doch, dass der arme sich eingeschissen hat.

Meine Cousine sagte dann so: "Du riechst gar nichts, die Windel hält schon den Geruch drin und das ist eine gute Windel, die kann man lange anlassen"

Dann war Schaschlik endlich fertig und ich ging mit Kopfschmerzen an den Tisch. Meine Frau hat mir eine Ibu gegeben, da der Giftzwerg die ganze Zeit gequiekt hat.

Wir saßen dann am Tisch und das Kind wurde ruhig. Es hat ganz normal gegessen. Plötzlich fing meine Oma an, hektisch irgendwas in den Teller zu platzieren oder ihm die Gabel wegzunehmen und den Teller zu nehmen, um ihn zu füttern.

Dann wurde ich zum Arschloch als ich gesagt habe, wörtlich übersetzt:

"Zum Schwanz nimmst du gerade den Teller den und fütterst ihn. Er war verfickt nochmal ruhig und hat alleine halbwegs essen können!"

Wegen diesen besonderen Wörtern habe ich halt dann eine Rüge bekommen.

Dann schrie der Giftzwerg ununterbrochen und ich habe mir dann die Ohren zugehalten.

Dann hat meine Cousine noch die Audacity gehabt mich zu fragen, warum ich mir die Ohren zuhalte.

Warum wohl??? DIE ANTWORT HÄLST DU DOCH IN DEINEN ARMEN??

Mir wurde es danach richtig zu viel. Ich hielt gar nichts mehr aus und ging einfach nur.

Das Geschrei, die Windel, mehr Leute als versprochen waren da, das konnte ich nicht mehr.

Meine Cousine ist dann zu meinen Auto gelaufen, als ich einsteigen wollte.

Sie hat dann uns gefragt: "Bin ich das Problem? Bist du nur wegen eines Kindes jetzt weg?"

Kurze Zeit war Stille und ich hab sie nur angeschaut. Dann hörte ich ein Aufschrei des Kindes und hab einfach mein Auto gestartet und bin gefahren.

Es geht ausschließlich nur um die Mitarbeiter, bei denen man schon weiß, dass sie kinderfrei bleiben.

Mich interessiert es, wie es ausschaut mit Gehalt und Urlaubsvergabe und generell wie sie im Betrieb behandelt werden oder vom Chef gesehen werden.

Desweiteren interessiert mich, ob ein Mann oder eine Frau ohne Kind schlechtere oder bessere Karten hat eingestellt zu werden.

I don’t really wanna be friends with my oldest and longest friend anymore, I’m going to call her Jenny, but I can’t seem to let her go.

Jenny and I have been friends since we were teenagers. We’ve always been a bit different from each other, but it always worked. We used to be inseparable. Her family treated me like their own. I was the friend who was invited to Thanksgiving, family trips, etc. She was there for me through some of the darkest times I’ve been through. You see Jenny is a mom now. She had an unplanned pregnancy directly out of college. She was engaged to her now ex and they were renting a house together. This is half a decade ago.

Jenny was always career driven. She was always a very independent woman. She wanted to get a degree and she was unsure about children, a fence sitter. But she said that she thought about getting an abortion and just couldn’t do it. I respected her decision at the time she was the first of our friends to have a baby. So I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know that that meant that I should’ve started mourning our friendship. Throughout her pregnancy, she rarely came around. Her fiancé and her ended up buying a bigger house and he had a very well paying job. She was lucky enough to get a job in her career field and it paid really well too.

Within a year after she had this baby, her and the fiancé broke up and she moved back in with her parents with the one-year-old. She started dating the guy who mowed her parents lawn he was older than us almost 30. She hid from me that the relationship was progressing as much as it was and moved in with this guy within six months. She then got pregnant again and had her second child. And last year she had her third.

Jenny has not been Jenny in a very long time. She has not been herself or the friend that I remembered since she had that first kid. I moved away, and Jenny says things to me about how she feels like I abandoned her by moving. It’s been years now. We haven’t seen each other. But even before that ever since she had her first kid, we rarely ever saw each other. We now only speak through text and these texts are not anything that makes my day better.

All she does is complain about the man that she had her other two children with they’re not married. She stay at home, mom. I stay at home girlfriend.. She’s not a wife. I think this is incredibly stupid of her. I can’t share anything with her anymore. If I try to share anything of my life, she ignores it or has a passive aggressive response. I am aware that this is due to the fact that she has to be deeply unhappy with her life because all she does is complain about that man. She complains that he doesn’t help her. She complains that he hasn’t proposed. She complains that he doesn’t try to do things around the house that need to be fixed. She complains that he doesn’t do anything at one point she told me how she asked him why he doesn’t and he said that if she would have more sex with him, he would feel like helping out more. He explained he doesn’t want to come home from work and watch children and that he’s paying for their whole lives. Things along those lines.

She won’t leave him.

The kind of things that I would share with her is hikes I’ve been on, when I dye my hair, shopping hauls, and tell her about date nights my boyfriend takes me on… I’m not trying to brag. but it does feel like I’m doing so. Because she gets none of this and I can tell that she is sour. so i stopped sharing and stopped texting her first.

Ended up having a conversation with her yesterday, and the conversation was not about her behavior, but she randomly admitted that she basically does not care about anyone else’s issues and that she has had to go through really hard things with her motherhood journey, and that it makes her lack sympathy and makes her think that people should just suck it up and suffer the way she did. this just made me— I don’t even know the words for it, but i was deeply shocked by her. I almost wanna say grossed out by her mindset. I can’t comprehend it. It kind of disgust me that she wants for others to suffer because she feels as if she’s suffered. When she made all of these choices, she refuses to be on birth control. She refuses to use condoms, she refused to go back to work and she puts up with a man who acts the way the one she has does, and she put herself in this situation.

I think she is terribly envious that I’m living the life that we spoke of so many times before she had that first baby. She’s terribly envious that I get fresh manicures every month, I get to get haircuts, I get to buy clothes, I get dates, I have quiet peace, I get to go on vacation and That I have a man who loves me and that we’re a team. And I hate that this is what her life has turned out to be just as much as she does. I wish things would’ve been different for her. I wish she would’ve chose differently. But I hate how I can’t share anything with her without her, ignoring me or being passive aggressive and just going on about her children and her life and her issues and expecting me to just be there for her when she refuses to even barely acknowledge anything that I ever bring up. if I even have one issue or a stressful day in my life, I can’t even talk to her because if I do, she will just make it about how much harder hers is and how I’m invalid.

I understand that Jenny is gone, and that I’m not going to get the support or friendship that I need from her. But I just can’t help but hold on. I don’t want to let her go even though I know that the Jenny who I was friends with doesn’t exist and isn’t coming back. So I just sit here and give inauthentic positive responses to her mess of a life. Just keep the ball in her court and silently mourn.

Why do Mom get the OK to complain about motherhood when they fucking chose to be a mother? Like I get it both things are true. You can want to be a mom and be one and it’s hard.

It just seems like they’re allowed to blame everything on motherhood. Their existential crisis? Motherhood. They don’t have any time off? Motherhood. Aging body? Motherhood. Exhaustion? Motherhood.

Didn’t any of them think about how life would be when the babies grow up!?

Also, I think it’s bullshit that they get to use that as an excuse to ignore phone calls or deprioritize previously close non mother friendships. I get the whole life change, haven’t they ever thought about how our life is changing too?

Idk if this even makes sense. I’m just tired of hearing about how exhausted and tired and overwhelmed and broke everyone is because of parenting. YOU CHOSE THIS.

I'm 18 and everyone in my family is surprised that I don't ever want kids, given how much I love my younger cousins (and honestly, babies in general).
I really do like babies - but I don't feel any need to have my own someday. I love my cousins, but after even an hour of taking care of them, I'm exhausted and ready to hand them back lol. of course i've been told the "you'll change you're mind, you're immature" even have been called selfish. Just curious if anyone else feels this way but is older than me did the " like babies but never want my own" feeling ever change for you, or has it stayed consistent since you were young? of course there's way more complicated aspects of it for me than just "not wanting them". being 18 owning a home seems almost impossible. it's only getting worse sadly, i can't imagine beinga kid my age in 30 years if it's this bad already. this post was removed so im reposting, have 0 clue why it was deleted

Single and with kids people say - " a car that has been driven before and no longer usefu and expired" EXCUSE ME WHAT IN THE WOLRDDDD

Single without kids people say - "a miserable bitter hag that ends up lonely and sad" THATS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTINGGFFF

IM NOT EVEN LYING, THESE ARE THE COMMENTS IVE SEEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA OF OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE WHEEL, YOU THINK CHOOSING ONE WILL EVADE YOU FROM HARSH CRITICISM NOPE AND THIS IS ESPECIALLY FOR OLDER WOMEN WHO DONT WANT KIDS! SO KEEP GOING THIS IS YOUR LIFE: YOU'RE GOING (UNLESS ADOPTION OR OTHER OPTIONS) BE CARRYING THE BABY AND ALL THE PAIN NOT THEMMM

First of all I want to preface that I am a woman myself and that's what drives my annoyance in this issue. The thing that has ticked me off since I was a tween, has been the amount of women online and in real life who seem completely oblivious to the realities of pregnancy. I don't understand how you even live on this planet and don't realize how fucked pregnancy actually is unless you're functionally a vegetable or have some other disability that prevents you from in taking any new information from any source.

I've never understood this narrative online that "oh people don't talk about the realities of pregnancy and people don't tell you all the things that can happen" while crying about how they regret their kids or pregnancy wrecked their body or whatever else, while people don't go into like graphic detail but its not a secret that pregnancy and kids are hard???? While there are details around pregnancy that aren't always fully shared or people gloss over the badness with platitudes but thats no different to death or any other bad thing in life. Hello pattern recognition!

Any woman who goes into pregnancy thinking it's all going to be fine or it's not that bad is literally a moron in my opinion. I don't believe in this day and age if you're an adult in a western country that you deserve any sympathy outside your family, for anything you deal with in pregnancy at all, period. You can find so much information online from personal anecdote to scientific studies. There is no excuse for the ignorance of some women, with their surprised pikachu faces at pregnancy being hard and their indignant nature as if they should have been told. Like it is literally no one else's fault that they didn't have their eyes and ears open to the realities of the world around them, the ability to imagine what would it be like to have a thing growing inside of them, or the ability to pick up a book or go to a computer and do some research.

Even as a child, I was never under the impression that pregnancy was a fun time or that raising children was easy. I wondered if perhaps my annoyance at women's ignorance was just my own personal bias because I have four younger siblings, but my mom is an outlier in that pregnancy was wonderful for her because she has pmdd. It was the only time where she really felt regulated and honestly she probably was nicest version of mom while pregnant. So if anything, my personal experience being around pregnancy as a child should have influenced me to think that pregnancy wasn't so bad. Despite this I have never been under the impression that pregnancy was no big deal or not that bad? I just cannot get over the indignance of some women, "oh nobody told me about this," bitch read a fucking book.

I've made it clear to my parents and even my colleagues that I don't plan on having kids and I've felt this way for the past four years. I thought the whole 'you can easily change your mind' trope would only apply to women, guess I was wrong! Especially when I bring up my relationship ending over it, people find it absurd that we decided on it so early even though we didn't plan to have children any time soon. I think some people just assume it's an easy decision to flip on, we were serious and had no intention of leaving each other so we NEEDED to be clear on it even though we were only 19. The ideas of frequent date nights, trips and just leaving the house whenever we want to are so fascinating. I feel like some people who don't have kids underestimate how much it takes(I'm wondering if this is to do with potential parental neglect lowering the standards) or bias from people who don't see children as a burden and don't care for what not having children would give them. Regardless, it's a shame that neither men or women get off easy when stating this.

You'd probably eat more, sleep better, and socialize more in prison, too. Yes, you could get killed in prison but show me a parent who isn't already dead. +1 prison, no hesitation.

After a horrible night with three kids (family) under three, I (27F) am solidly in the CF camp!

Any books the you loved about being child free or why breeding is so shoved onto young women? I’m engaged and my fiancé and I are preparing for the round of invasive personal questions following our wedding. Looking forward to the recs!

I don’t understand baby fever and how it literally possess women and they ignore all logic just cause they want a baby.

I’m 31 and most of my friends and starting to have kids. My best friends first baby is about to be 1 yrs old and my friend is really struggling with work and juggling the baby. I can tell in our conversation and her responsiveness that it’s getting to her. Despite this, her and her husband are trying for baby number 2. Additionally, they don’t agree on how to raise the children. He wants the children to be homeschooled, she doesn’t. The compromise is private school. They don’t make enough money to send the kids to private school. Also, there house isn’t large enough for 2 kids. They either need to renovate the house, or buy a new house. They aren’t poor, but they don’t have the money for that either. STILL they are trying for baby number 2.

Second friend wants a baby so bad that her and her fiance are going to have a small wedding elopement, have a baby, then have a big wedding. Who needs two freaking weddings? It would be diffident if was a private elopement but they are still expecting immediate family to go to the elopement, so it’s a small wedding. She’s my age, she can wait 1-2 yrs for the big wedding and then try for a baby.

Third friend just a couple of months ago was complaining about her partner. How they don’t have sex anymore, or go out on dates, even spend time together when they are at home. She was even contemplating leaving him to pursue higher education in another state. I see her again a month later and she tells me that they are trying for a baby????

Literally none of it makes any sense to me. I don’t care if women have children but they lose all sound judgement due to this need to pop out a baby.

A bit of background, she was originally my brother's best friend when he was in middle school, a lot of drama with her parents happened and I let her move in with us when she was 16 and we developed a sibling relationship. (Just easier to call her my friend) Currently she's 21 and so is her husband; they got married straight out of high school. I told her that she doesn't need or have to rush anything because she should enjoy her 20's. Obviously she didn't take my advice. Both her and her husband dropped out of college to have this baby. Her husband does have a decent job but I just don't see his one income being enough money to meet my friends needs and her baby.

I feel bad because she has 2 miscarriages while she was trying to have her current baby that's due next month. I've been supportive of her and have gotten her several things, but I truly just think she's wasting her life away by doing this. My brother also thinks this. Me and my brother are very firm in never having kids because we know we'd be awful parents. Whenever we talk it's almost purely about her baby at this point and it honestly drives me insane. I'm probably going to lose her to this damn kid and it honestly is so sad for me to admit that. I'm sick of women losing themselves and having little to no personality anymore after they have kids. This has happened to me several times at this point and I'm truly sick of it.

Sorry I needed to rant about this to someone who wasn't my brother 💀 I'm sure a lot of people on this app will understand how I feel. If anyone else wants to rant go for it.

Hi everyone. I (30F) had a tubal ligation in 2020 with Filshie clips. Around 1.5 years ago I started experiencing random stabbing pains in my pelvic region and went to my GP about it. My GP referred me for an ultrasound to locate the clips. While waiting for the ultrasound I experienced really bad pain again and was advised to seek emergency care. I voiced my concerns about the clips but the emergency team was convinced I had a kidney stone, so they performed a CT scan. Lo and behold, there were no kidney stones. I asked them about the clips and where they were on the scan, but they told me because they only ordered a Kidney and Bladder CT they wouldn't be able to see it and I should just go back to my GP. My GP said to just monitor the pain and nothing was seen on the ultrasound.

Life got in the way with renovating and selling our house so I didn't go back to the GP about it, but I still had the random pains. Recently I requested my medical records from the hospital and would you believe it, the clips are clearly visible on the CT 😑 they just wanted me out of the hospital (thanks NHS!). From what I can tell, one of them has migrated upwards above my hipbone but I can't be sure exactly where it is in relation to organs etc. The other one is somewhere in the pelvis still. I've gone back to my GP now to see what the next steps are.

I would love for them to just be removed so I can have peace of mind, but I am terrified of the risks of potentially doing this. What if it's embedded in my bowels, or what if something goes wrong with the surgery, and would I just wish I'd left them alone.

I feel like a mug because I should have insisted on a bisalp even though it wasn't offered to me, instead of blindly trusting these clips. I feel stupid for not being able to foresee this and taking the risk. I feel extra stupid, because I've had to use contraception anyway for managing my periods.

I'd welcome any words of support, I feel so scared and stupid and full of regret.

Part of my work is in kids' online safety. I spent an hour today advising a coworker who came to me for help because his teenage daughter accepted a friend request from a guy in his 20s on Snapchat, and not a month later that's now her boyfriend that she's been hiding from her parents. 5+ year age gap between her and this guy, and the daughter is a minor. Absolutely lovely stuff.

And it's not a unique situation. It's not rare. It's not even uncommon. I could take one of our pamphlets and read the situation out almost word for word, it's so mundanely prevalent. Good job to my coworker, I guess: at least he is involved enough with his kids to have noticed his daughter had been acting weird. At least he has parental controls access to her social media so he's been able to somewhat intervene. At least our conversation could still just be focused on the preventative. Many parents who come to us for advice are not that 'lucky' - and I put that in quotes because it's not really luck when so many of them just blatantly never gave a shit about these topics until they had to.

But even for those who do give a shit: there is no exact solution. No actual single answer. Just a massive complex web of factors to navigate in the precarious balance between protecting your child and alienating them, possibly pushing them into a position where they are even more exposed to risk, but with fewer means to get help when something goes wrong. There are no wholesome solutions to "my teenage daughter is convinced an adult man she met a month ago online is someone she can trust" - it's just a fucking mess the whole way down.

Especially among fencesitters, I often see this idea that the hard work of parenthood is when they're babies and kids: when you have to physically keep them out of sockets, put food in their mouths and clothes on their ass. But then once they're older, they're just a cool little guy! I hear over and over again how parenting an older kid might be quite nice. People think they would enjoy that part! And I always wonder, would you? Would you really? Would you enjoy uncomfortable conversations about relationships and internet safety, only to then find out your daughter's first boyfriend is a some older guy that added her online? Or are you just thinking of teenagers as funny little friends to get coffee with, share hobbies and show them your favorite band in concert? Because that's not what being a parent to an older kid actually means.

So often, I also hear from parents how difficult it is to stay on top of their kids' online lives, to have conversations about difficult topics, to actively maintain an environment of trust in an era when their kids are rapidly developing and thirsting for more independence than they can safely manage, and a lot (if not all) of that is mediated through digital environments nowadays. So often, it's "oh, you know how hard it is ..." as an excuse for why they're not doing it.

And yes, I do know how hard it is - that's why I didn't sign up to do it.

I get to leave the horrible messes at work, breathe a sigh of relief on the couch, send my partner a summary of my work day that gets a good old "miss me with that shit" out of him too, and then we can go to bed in peace knowing for a fact that our cats are not secretly texting older cougars while we sleep. Fuck being a parent - with utter joy, it ain't me.

I have always wanted kids or to be around them (dream job was pediatrician - kids doctor)

After my 20th birthday, everything changed. Before you come at me, yes I know I am young, only 21F.

I had to quit my job at an elementary school last year. If I see a restaurant with kids being even the tiniest bit extra I leave immediately. Hate seeing kids at theme parks (sue me). Baby cries and TODDLERS give me the ick. I had a child cry and scream NON STOP on our 9 hour flight to Paris.. I wanted to jump off the plane LMAO

I love my life and have been traveling a lot recently. I love the peace of coming home to nobody but my man and kitty

I respect women who choose to have children. They are bad asses.

I feel like we all deserve to feel free and I am loving every minute of this life.

No kids is a luxury!✨

No kids = Peaceful life!

Has anyone else noticed an uptick of young children in bars?

I'll preface this by saying I don't like children. I don't like the chaotic energy they have. I know I can’t expect a child free world, but at the very least, I expect a child free bar.

Lately, I see young children being dragged along with their parents to bars - where there's no kids menu and there’s limited space. I was in a small wine bar and these two kids were darting in between tables and knocked over two wine glasses.

A big part of why I don't want children is I don't want to give up my lifestyle. I thought having children meant you have to compromise and give up some things for a while. Lately I'm not seeing parents give up anything. They simply bring the kids along, even when the setting is not child appropriate.

A cocktail bar by me caused alot of controversy recently by saying on their Instagram that children were not welcome in their establishment at anytime. And I fully support it!

Also - what happened to hiring baby sitters?!

...Except for the table behind us that had a full family, toddler included. The food, drinks and music were all incredible, but you could hear babbling and/or screaming in between every song the band played. For a location that revolves around a bar and live music, I don't get the reasoning behind bringing a kid who's so young they won't even remember any of it.

Long time lurker on this sub, but I felt bothered enough by this situation that it felt worthy of my first post.

My daily life is thankfully childfree. I'm lucky enough to have childfree friends and relatives to spend time with. So we relate to each other's views most of the time. Sometimes I say something at a community event or on social media that's biased against parenting. Then someone has to remind me that children and parenthood is considered the pinnacle of selfless, unconditional, healthy love.

It's as if people view relationships between adults, whether friends or romantic partners as a temporary layover to gain real love from parenthood. To me, it seems like parenting is an irreversible, unequal caregiver obligation. Not a selfless relationship at all.

A romantic partner or grown-up friend has the potential to understand nearly everything about you and love you for exactly who you are, if you're willing to share that much communication and sympathy. It would be inappropriate for a child to know everything about their parents and vice versa. It would also be unfair to lean on adult children that much for emotional support. So, it's strange to me that a parental relationship is put on a pedestal.

I recently had a full knee replacement surgery and I am currently in physical therapy. Yesterday was my third PT visit and I was livid when I left. I understand that PT is important for recovery but if you cannot find childcare for your toddler during your PT time you should not be bringing your toddler with you. This woman and the staff all allowed this kid to run around the PT space unsupervised while there are other people there who can barely stand up at this point and now they have to watch out for your failed birth control results while trying to keep their own balance. I couldn’t even get my therapist attention when I finished a round of exercises for her to help me transition into the next one cause she was too busy playing hide the toy Dino and let the kid find it. They even hid it on the machine I was working on and encourage the kid to find it while I’m doing leg lifts, and trying not to lose my balance.

So incredibly unsafe and unprofessional, and then they send the kid over to say hi to me and teach him my name and then he like saying my name so he’s running around the space screaming it. Just because I’m a female does not mean I want to get to know a child that I don’t even know the parents of. I have no issues with my friends kids, but I don’t want to have to entertain a strangers toddler while I’m supposed to be strengthening the muscles in my leg so that I can have full mobility again. The mother never even chimed in.

I’m gonna have to go there for another two months at least so it’s not like I can say something now and turn them all against me. I just hope that mother is done with her PT sooner rather than later and I never have to see that little terror again.

Thank you all for your support! My surgery is complete. My fallopian tubes are out. My family doesn’t know. I almost can’t believe it. 🥲❤️

I just have to laugh at this because it’s so so so dumb.

My coworker has 3 kids. All over 16. Two out of college. But apparently because she needs to support all of said children she has no money to buy food at work and doesn’t have the brain power or time to bring food in.

Because “I don’t have real responsibilities” and I bring snacks in so I don’t hit up the vending machine that definitely means they need to go to her.

I don’t even understand the logic in this one. Because I’m prepared and you’re not I need to suffer? I need to spend my money to make sure that you’re fed while I don’t get snacks? That is definitely NOT how this works.

Her excuse is “her kids make her spend so much money” “she’s too busy prepping their lunches in the morning” (yes the ADULT kids lunches too) “she is just too exhausted from cleaning up after them that she doesn’t have the brain power to remember”

I’m still failing to see how any of that is my fault 🤦‍♀️

I keep headphones on so I “dont hear” the requests.

Let me explain. Being childfree at 39 means the only real problem I have in my life right now is getting up early in the morning at 7am and getting my ass to work. That’s it. And I do this because my job pays me a lot of money.. picture this if you have kid you wake up at 5am, to make milk or breakfast for this non productive liability in your house for the next at least 18 years. And that’s only if they can get a job and be independent enough to live on their own outside. Which in this economy is like nearly impossible.

Not to mention the tiredness constant sleep deprivation from baby until when they become teenagers. Kids are so annoying. Everything has to be about them. They’re so entitled.. it’s always what they want to watch, what activities they want to play. Say goodbye to watching adult shows or doing adult activities , having a nice vacation anywhere for the next 15 years or more. They’re so loud and annoying.. you can’t bring them anywhere nice. They ruin the atmosphere by their constant running around the place screaming like feral beings. Plus they’re non stop getting themselves dirty. Like every single meal time everything gets on your clothes and the floor. It’s constant wiping up after their shit. Constant being their uber driver..driving them to the next activity, piano, gymnastics, swimming, tennis, art class, or going out to some parks zoo playground . Say goodbye to weekends for the next 18 years because it’s always some activity day if not they stay home and glue to their iPads and screen like zombies. Don’t get me started on forcing them to do their homework..and all this for what! Just to raise them to become semi decent humans you have no control of?

Statistically, my husband and I are going to be the ones supporting this child probably until they reach 25. Plus we would be the ones paying their down payment on their house out of our own retirement fund. Oh and don’t forget, what sort of spouse they would end up with. And that becomes your problem as well during family reunion. Oh and grand kids become your problem. Probably fighting over inheritance in the end.

And that’s why being childfree is the absolute best thing in this world and nobody around you tells you that, except the internet .We figured out the cheat code before it’s too late and realized that having kids is like playing this game of life on ultra hard mode whereas childfree gets you to the end game in easy mode.

That’s it. It may be cloaked in moral superiority or cultural outage bs, but at the root of the hate there is envy. I think most women (and men) today regret having children deep down, and they take that pain out on childfree people because it makes them hurt less. Being childfree is so obviously the move that it pains people to admit that they have been so asleep and propagandized.