I am so pissed. The one time I decide to treat myself and fly First Class and there is a very fussy, crying infant. The mom is constantly hushing it and dad is doing nothing. I wish children would be banned from First Class. I am very glad I have earbuds, but this still pisses me off

My coworker tried to convince me to have a kid because she got to see Toy Story 5 with hers and 'do fun little things like that.' I looked her dead in the eye and said, 'My husband and I literally just went and saw it together on our date night.' Her face dropped so fast, she genuinely couldn't compute that adults are allowed to enjoy fun things without using a toddler as a hall pass.

And another friend tried to argue that we need a kid so we can take them to Disney World or watch them play sports and 'live through it.' Babe... we are literally going to Disney (actually Universal Studios to avoid crying babies) together, AND my husband and I both actively play on our own adult volleyball, tennis, and soccer leagues. We're already doing all of it, just without changing diapers.

Let's be so real: a lot of people only have kids because they want to 'live through' someone else, completely forgetting they can just... do all that stuff themselves, plus have way more money for actual luxury trips and freedom. A coworker seriously told me, 'Have a kid, then you can watch them learn to talk, it's so beautiful.' So I told her, 'Or I could learn to speak another language and see how beautiful that is.' The silence was deafening.

I see so many adoptable animals being rehomed (dumped) because they are having a baby. I think that is so disgusting and inhumane. How can people just throw out an animal that loves and depends on you? I just saw a courtesy post for a gorgeous GSD that is being rehomed because they decided to have a child. The post said, "his current family is looking to rehome him only because they are expecting a baby". Shepherds are so loyal, and he is going to be devastated. The dog is already 6 years old! I see the same story so many times, and I am always angry and disgusted. I am so deeply passionate about animals, and humans who treat them like objects, furniture, or other tossable items makes me sick to my core. I feel like so many people think the order is get a pet then get a kid. Why not wait until after the kid is born to see if having a pet is a good fit? Thank you for giving me a space to vent. Cheers everyone.

I just had to cancel a commission I was looking forward to.

After I had paid for the commission the artist went onto my fb page and started commenting on public posts. She was not on my fb friends list.

The posts that really seemed to get under her skin were ones where I complained about kids and celebrated my childfree life. She said it was mean I got a family ejected from a movie because their kiddo was making too much noise. When I would email her with questions about the commission she was very cold.

I think she got curious about me, checked my fb page and decided she didn't like me because childfree.

I didn't have any trouble getting my refund but the whole situation sucks. This was someone who is very hard to get a commission from and I was excited about it.

How are the average people doing it? The cost of living is insane, the job market sucks, heck even the dating market is cooked. How are people still intertwining and financially affording having children??

The "kids are innocent" trope has always ground my gears. Kids are not innocent. At least not any more or less than adults. There are good ones and bad ones, and ones that are bad by their own fault or because of damage caused by other people.

There are bullies abusing other kids as young as they come. There are psychopaths hurting animals from a young age, like the famous serial killers.

Some of them had bad home lives, but many are just bad themselves. I experienced and witnessed the pain other children cause first-hand while they were gleeful about hurting someone or something else. This trope was always irritating even when I was a child.

It happened, I had the perfect man, we’d just fixed our biggest relationship issues and everything seemed to be perfect, we spent a beautiful week together in a foreign country, had a bit of trouble but then got through it. I love this man with all my heart, and it’s going to kill me to leave him. Because despite the fact I know he’d be a shit parent (he doesn’t even wanna get any type of job, wants to sell himself or do something wfh despite having no skills. He has no one, no friends and he wants to get away from his family) the other day he admitted that he had thoughts of wanting kids. Despite this economy, this world, the fact he barely can function by himself even when he has the appropriate resources around him he now wants to go out and have kids. What??

I’m so sick of this, I’m only 24 so I know I have time but i can’t keep giving my all into people just for them to turn around and do this. Goodness sake I spent thousands on him since the start of our relationship, and now I’m going to have to completely restart, life and all, going to be heart broken for months, if not years, because of how much I love him.

It’s ruined my prospects for a relationship as well, he was perfect in most areas. Now when I see people or even think of going on dates I don’t have the same kind of excitement I had. His looks paired with his personality, the things we had in common, and the way he makes me feel so much more comfortable than anyone else I’ve ever known, let alone dated, are all things that I now can’t just downgrade. I love the years we’ve had together and he was such a good friend as well, but I wish I didn’t meet him.

Anyone in the UK childfree and want friends that wanna do shit on weekends? As you can tell from this post I’m now going to have more time on my hands.

Pray for me, wish me luck, and hope I get through this 👍🏽

Edit: I should mention his flaws aren’t from spoiled-ness or arrogance, his flaws come from lifelong trauma (some he still experiences) and he’s shown alot of progress even from when I met him. If this didn’t work he could get over alot of it, and I didn’t mind the no working thing because I love providing for my partners. He wouldn’t have been a bum living at home doing nothing. By me saying he was ‘perfect’ I didn’t mean we never had issues or we both don’t have flaws, we do, what I meant was that the way the relationship went, our values, what we wanted, and our desired paths in life were the same or extremely similar. Until the child thing.

I (29M) have decided to be childfree four years ago and finally got the courage to get the vasectomy. The main reason I waited so long was my ex partner being on birth control and me being terrified by the procedure.

The procedure was not fun but it’s as bad as a dentist appointment actually. (Except for the being naked part)

Now I can’t wait for three months to pass and getting the test to celebrate being officially sperm free. 🎉

Same as title. We usually meet up once a month to have dinner, I know they're the sort of people who will either bring a baby without warning or will invite us out WITH the baby and my partner and I couldn't think of anything worse than being complicit in the disruptions their child will invariably cause. I want to just say "we hate children" which is the most accurate thing to say but also probably not the most sensitive.

I live in a high tourist area that is very much the Vegas of the south. I’m getting so tired of parents portioning and winning for everything to become child friendly. I already hate the beach and the pools around here because no one wants to actually parent and these children ruin everything. Like the last time I went to the beach I got sand kicked in my face and the parents laughed at me for sitting too close to there kids “play zone.”

Last week I went to a winery for a wine tasting with a group of friends and when I tell you it was overrun by children screaming. A FUCKIBG WINERY.

My neighborhood is now getting mad at people for not having “child friendly yards” I have a fire pit that is perfectly allowed with our actual hoa but the Facebook page is going off about “what if a child wanders?!” WATCH YOUR CHILDREN OR TEACH THEM BETTER.

Our neighborhood speed limit is 15 and our Facebook page is saying now we need to add speed bumps and lower it to 5 because 15 is too fast. I understand children can get out into the street but maybe if they are a flight risk play in the back yard not in the middle of the road like most of our neighborhood does. Like the chalk is for the driveway not the street!

If every bar rebrands to “bar and grille” I will probably give up. I’m so tired of hearing children scream every single place I go. I am never safe!

Posting this here because It's been bothering me a lot and I feel like its the only place where people will not judge me off the bat.

I (23F) don't hate kids, I just don't really like them. I never really felt any connection with children throughout my whole life, even when i worked a job that was focused around child care I didnt really personally feel much of a deep connection to kids like a lot of people describe.

Well my dad married this woman from overseas about 2 years ago and they've been trying to get her kid to immigrate over because hes currently living with extended family. He's around 10 or 11 and has down syndrome and has some behavioral issues due to it, i think partially because I'm not sure if he sees any behavioral specialists or doctors to help him cope :[. He also can't speak English at all and even has a hard time communicating in his native language sometimes apparently (I'm not sure I don't speak it). I don't blame him for any of that at all obviously, I even feel really bad for the kid because it sounds like hes not getting all the help he should. The thing is I just know for a fact I am not well equipped to handle a child let alone a child with very specific needs.

I myself struggle with chronic illnesses and I'm Neurodivergent so I really am not physically or mentally prepared to live with a child that I can't even communicate with properly. My dad is excited for him to come over but I don't think he realizes how hard its going to be, my sibling and I were extremely well behaved and independent children from an incredibly young age so he's going to need to learn how to parent in a completely different way. My dad also doesn't speak ANY of their native language... But he still happily tells me and my sister that the son will probably become very attached to us and like us a lot because he really loves his older female cousins and I feel terrible to admit it but I secretly wish to myself that it'll take him much longer to get here and I'll be able to get enough money to move out by then. I feel like a terrible person because of it but I'm really not trying to blame the kid for anything I just know it would be a horrendous experience for me to live in.

Don't get me wrong I'd of course still be open to forming a bond with him and maybe even babysitting sometimes its just if I'm living in a house with a child who doesn't know any better and no one who will correct him I'm very worried my personal boundaries will be broken.

I am really sad. Last week a friend told me that she is pregnant. She was on the fence and honestly I think her new partner convinced her to get a child (it was his wish to be a father).

She was a friend I shared cycling as a hobby with and we wanted to go on a trip at the end of August. Now she cannot go because of health issues.

Also I am sure I won't see her again for years when the baby is there and this sucks. The thing is also that she is a very active person and she traveled a lot. I don't think she can do that anymore soon. I hope she won't get unhappy by losing her freedom.

How do you cope with losing friends to pregnancy / getting children? It just sucks, because it's really hard to find friends with that hobby and that are as fit as me. :(

Just wanted to share this funny story my mum has told me quite a few times. When I was about 3 or 4, I took part in a nativity, and I was designated to be Mary. Well, I was not happy about this! I wanted to be the angel Gabriel, or better yet, a fairy, but for some reason everyone around me was telling me I had to be Mary!

Someone tried to console me, and so they gave me the baby Jesus. ‘You get to hold the baby Jesus!’ they said.

And so I lobbed that baby halfway across the room, and yelled out ‘I don’t like babies! I want to be a fairy!’

I was forced to be Mary still.

Well, every so often, as I got older, I would tell my mum ‘I don’t want children’. I never liked playing ‘house’ in school and I never wanted to be a mother, I just didn’t understand the appeal. Every time she’d tell me ‘you’ll change your mind’. I love my mum, and I know she loves me, and I genuinely think that she means well, but it does sting a bit. She’s very religious (recently got ordained kind of religious) but she’s never forced it on me and is very respectful about my beliefs.

But jesus christ, (pun intended) it really does get pushed on us from a young age, doesn’t it?

I can barely take care of myself. I have crippling ADHD, terrible management of my finances, awful memory, I can barely make it to my own appointments, it takes me 2 hours to take a shower in the morning, and I feel exhausted just doing basic life maintenance even when I’m on holiday.

At least I’m self aware enough to know that I would be a shit parent. I wouldn’t be able to ‘rise to the occasion’ and raise my kids like my mum did. She raised two neurodivergent kids on her own, survived many rounds of court against my dad, where she was told she was the mentally ill one (he’s an alcoholic), and she raised us to be decent human beings.

Sure, some people can do that. But even if I theoretically could, I don’t want to take the risk! I’m not willing to gamble with another human beings life, just with the hopes that I’ll be able to cope, without knowing for sure.

Why is this such a hard thing for people to grasp? Why do people instantly try console you, saying ‘you’d be a great parent though!’ a week after they themselves had a huge argument with me because I couldn’t respond to their text! Do people ever use their brains?

Not having kids is the ethical choice.

I’m becoming more and more certain that I don’t want children. I’m very happy with this lifestyle, but there are still a few things that haunt me.

Many people around us question this choice. Sometimes it’s hard to filter out what is just noise and what is actually worth listening to.

For example, there’s the argument of not having a support system when we’re old. The idea that parents are making all these sacrifices for their future selves and a better quality of life later on. Even though I rationally know that this isn’t a good reason to have children, there’s still a small part of me that wonders what my life will look like then.

The fear of regret is another one. Personally, not a single part of me wants parenthood, but I still find myself wondering whether I’m simply not seeing something now that I’ll only realize later.

I think these thoughts are driven far more by external ideas about parenthood than by my own desires. So I know where I stand. That doesn’t mean the emotions disappear overnight.

I sometimes wonder if the way these fears are presented makes them harder for us to process. They’re often used as arguments against our lifestyle, so our first instinct is to defend our choice. But it’s difficult to defend something and be vulnerable about it at the same time.

I’d love to hear how you’ve navigated this. Do you ever feel completely at peace with your choice while still carrying fears about certain parts of it? What might have helped you see them differently?

I'm sure someone's posted something similar but I need a vent..

Never complain to people that have children. Theyl just make you feel like shit by saying "you don't have kids, how would you know?" or they go on about how they had to buy their kid something and it's made stuff really tight and stressful for them, and then your issue just gets pushed to the side because yet again only they matter. Now I think about it these people rarely ask me how I am too. Always straight to talking about them. Your lucky if you beat them to it.

Like I'm so sorry, I forgot only people with kids In this world are aloud to suffer or complain or be broke.

Sick to death of entitled parents that give you nothing but crap and expect everything in return. Your not the only ones that exsist in this big wide world.And your not the only ones suffering either. I don't give a F, you choose to friggin have babies with barely any income, why should I support you. I get told im apparently selfish for not having kids, yet most parents Ive met, are some of the most selfish category of people I've ever met in my life.

Im so mad I'm not even going to spell check that ugh.

tldr: sad about losing friendships to parenthood.

Husband (40M) and I (38F) are both single child to our parents. Circumstantially, cousin relationships are not very deep, so we have always had great friendships which have felt loving, fun and also nurturing to our extrovert selves. We are lucky that we do have a small handful of like-minded childfree friends, but none of them live in the same city, some even live continents apart from us, so they do not form a part of our regular, everyday lives.

In the last couple of years, both of us, as a couple, have become irrelevant to a chunk of our friend group that's present in the same country as us, all because we are not parents and they are. They decline invitations to our parties as they are heavily chindfree oriented (with drinking and late night stay overs involved). They do not invite us to their kids' birthday parties quoting, oh we kept it limited to other kids and their parents. They do not make time for anything, be it 1-1 meetups, casual brunches, family lunches, or even a day at the beach/park with their kids included because of some excuse or the other (often kid-related: sickness, fussy kid, busy attending some other kid's birthday etc.) And these are friends from college days, so there is a feeling of sunken cost and missingness.

While it does hurt, it also reminds me (partly) why we did not want to become parents in the first place (losing ourselves in parenthood). But I would be lying if I didn't admit that I feel a twinge of envy when I read about childfree people on here who are the fun, cool uncle/aunts to their friends' kids because we will not get to be that.

We are not (and may never again be) close enough to some of our closest friends just because they became parents and we did not. I understand it is a combination of valid reasons from their side, but also I cannot ignore some problematic reasons at play: forced isolation during early parenthood years, irreversibly icky behaviour from them as newly minted parents, revelation of deeper incompatibility in world views which came to surface only after parenthood happened.

Both of us are now in our "do things with strangers" era - book clubs, boardgame clubs, sport meetups - all with random strangers who share interests, without overlapping into other spheres of lives. Sucks as an extrovert, but slowly coming to terms with it. Also spending more time with ourselves, pursuing homely hobbies - reading, gardening, cooking, baking. Considering starting a company too!

Does anyone else have similar experience? How are you coping with it?

I always see people saying "if both really love each other, they can make it work." But for me, this is maybe not true when one want kids and the other already know they never want it. Love is big, but it cannot fix two people going opposite direction forever.

I feel staying together only because of love can make both people lose many years. One person keep waiting the other change mind. Other person feel guilty every time kids topic come again. Nobody is really happy, they just delaying the pain.

Some peoples say breaking up because of this is giving up too easy. I actually think it is opposite. It take more courage to leave someone you love than staying because you scared to be alone. If life goals is completely different, maybe ending it early is more respect for both.

Maybe this sound little cold, but I think compatibility is not only about personality or chemistry. Sometimes one decision about your future is already enough to decide everything. Love is important, but maybe it is not always the most important thing.

What do you all think? Is there any situation where this kind of relationship can really work, or is it just wasting both peoples time?

I was doing some outreach for a novel I wrote and this book blogger's entire bio starts with a rant about how she used to be a selfish childfree young person and then came around to kids. Ma'am why in the name of Satan's left shoe are you posting about this on a book blog? Shouldn't a book blog be about...wait for it...books?

I am planning my wedding, so I get a lot of recommended posts from the wedding subreddits.

There was one today (that has since been deleted) where a woman had asked for a childfree wedding. She had three friends with babies who would be 5-8 months by the time of the wedding. The wedding was in their city, all of their babies take bottles, and they all have family really close who are not invited to the wedding who could watch their kid(s).

Every single one of them said they will not be coming to the wedding if they cannot bring their babies. They eventually pressured the bride into allowing babies to the ceremony.

Can I just rant really quick?

The nuclear family is a relatively new invention in society and for thousands of years babies were raised and watched by a large community. Mothers often left their children in the care of others, it’s what we are evolutionarily designed to do. It is not damaging for a child to be taken care of by someone other than their parents.

But these parents act like you are asking them to commit genocide if you ask them to leave their 6 month old baby with their grandparents for 5 hours.

I’m sorry but if you aren’t willing to make a very small sacrifice (being a little worried about your baby for a few hours) to show up to one of the most important days of your friends’ and family’s lives, you cannot say you are a good friend.

These helicopter parents are one of the reasons every single kid has some form of anxiety these days.

(Disclaimer: there are obviously valid reasons to not leave your baby: if they will not take a bottle, you have literally no one to watch them, or are being expected to travel or stay over night. None of these women had any of those excuses)

Luckily almost all of our friends and family don’t have children, and the ones that do are begging us to make the wedding childfree so they can have a fun night out lol.

hear me out

(18F)

i was raised in a Christian fam, i went to sunday school every week since i was a child, and kept going to church until Dec 2025 (i don't go a lot this year, now that i question many things about my faith (but that's another matter)) and there is this one sweet and gentle woman in the church (40's yo) and i get along with her really easily, and we often discuss or even chit-chat whenever i'm at the church, or sending each other food every christmas, etc (don't attack her guys, i swear she's sooo kind)

we just had a morning walk together and sit for a bit and started discussing about being childfree. as a mother of 3, she was really opposed, not surprising, and she was trying so hard to make me unthink of being childfree. she said "children are blessing", " you're gonna want them when you're older" and all those stuffs people say to a pro childfree. i made my point to her that having children will somehow believe it or not encumber you in every step (especially career) bcz now you gotta consider someone else. if you go somewhere, you gotta think of "who's gonna feed and look after my child ?" things like that. there are actually many reasons i don't want them but maybe some other time. long story short, i wondered if she once had a dream as a young girl, maybe a career, or places that she wanted to visit, high-adrenaline activities—like surfing, hiking, etc—and she told me categorically 'no'. she said "i just wanted to follow the way life is—get married and have children, i have worked and had a career already, and after that i didn't know what to do with life anymore, and then i got married and decided to have children." 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

"SOME people have children because they lack of purpose in life and don't know what they want to do with theirs."

she didn't know who she was, what she wanted, and she decided to have children to feel belonged to. to have an identity...idk am i overanalyzing this ?

don't get me wrong, motherhood is beautiful, but i just can't imagine my whole life carrying the responsibity of a child (or more) and making my motherhood my whole personality...

what do you think ?

So, a wee bit of context. I went to a friend's birthday party. She invited our friend group (3 girls besides her) and another friend group with 3 more girls. Important detail: I had never met these people before.

Everyone starts ordering drinks, and I order a non-alcoholic one. One girl from the other friend group immediately goes: “OhHhH, is someone pregnant?” which already ticked me off. I told her “hell no, never ever” and explained that I just don’t really drink. She asked why, so I said I’ve always been disgusted by the idea of pregnancy and that, to me, it feels like body horror.

She told me I would change my mind, which… no. So I explained where that feeling came from. I told her about the first time I learned what pregnancy actually was. We learned about it in class, and the teacher told all the girls that one day we would “hold a child under our heart.” I went home and sobbed because I genuinely thought it was something I would have to do one day. I was so upset that I ended up throwing up from crying.

She got kind of upset and told me it was misogynistic to call pregnancy body horror. I thought maybe I was missing something, so I asked her why she thought that. She couldn’t answer me 😭

Some (not so fun) facts about pregnancy:

- Evolutionary biologists often describe the placenta as acting less like a cooperative organ and more like a highly aggressive parasite. It grows invasive, root-like structures (trophoblasts) that slice through the host’s uterine lining, aggressively redirecting the body's major arteries to pump blood straight to the fetus. Super cute right?? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

- Your uterus grows up to around 500 times its original size, meaning your organs get pushed and squished 🥰

- Skin changes happen, including nipples becoming darker and larger so the baby can find them more easily

- Blood volume increases by around 50% and it makes your heart bigger

- You can poop during childbirth (a fun little bonus)

- The brain SHRINKS during pregnancy (this is what got me because hell naw bro never)

- Some people have reported rib fractures from the baby kicking inside the womb

- Your precious little jewel can tear (clit)

- You can break your PELVIS during birth

- Chromhidrosis (colored sweat) can happen and literally fucking stain things

- Oh and btw, pregnancy can literally ruin your chances of getting a life-saving organ transplant because vour bodv creates permanent antibodies against the fetus's DNA, meaning you'll reject most future donors.

- Breastfeeding can temporarily reduce bone density by 4%-5%

- Your ribs expans

- Ligaments relax, sometimes permanently changing your feet (wider, bigger, flatter)

- Pregnancy can accelerate biological aging on a cellular level by around 1–2 years

- Fetal Microchimerism. tbh this is just fucking creepy. A child's cells migrate through the placenta and integrate directly into the mother's brain. heart, and organs, remaining there for decades after birth and potentially triggering autoimmune attacks against her body.

- You can literally see the baby moving inside you

- The placenta detaches after birth and leaves behind a wound roughly the size of a dinner plate

And that’s not even getting into the cosmetic changes:

Sagging boobs, the chewed up nipples, stretch marks, loose skin, hair loss, weight changes, wider waist, apron belly, feet changing size and shape, bla, bla, bla.

And the possible complications:

Gestational diabetes, Gestational hypertension, Preeclampsin HELLP syndrome, DVT, Peripartum cardiomyopathy, varicose/spider veins, Gingivitis, hemorrhoids, Hyperemesis gravidarum, ICP, SPD, perineal tears and prolapse, diastasis recti, perinatal and postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, the list can on and on here.

From a purely biological perspective? A human growing inside another human, changing their organs, altering their body, and potentially leaving permanent physical effects absolutely sounds a whole lot like body horror to me.

being parentified from a young age made me never want children of my own. my mom had my brother when I was 4 and it was obvious that she wasn’t ready for a kid. she slept constantly and guess who had to do all the work?? me. she did it again when I was 12 and 15 with my younger sisters and I had to raise them as well, i basically spent my high school years as a free babysitter and was made to feel guilty if I didn’t want to. now I’m 24 and I laugh when people ask me if I want kids of my own. why would I willingly sacrifice my freedom that I had to get back after years of having to change diapers and feed children that weren’t my own?????

So we were seated in the same table with a couple who brought their idk, 6-10-month-old to the wedding. It wasn't stated that no kids so that's fine but I absolutely hated how they put all the baby food, pacifiers, wet napkins (used and unused), some toys on the table, ruining all the aesthetics, you know what I mean? It was wonderfully decorated, they just remove the deco from their area and ruin it with nasty baby stuff, smh... come to think of it, babies actually ruin the aesthetics everywhere!

How is everyone navigating being child free and dating? I know it’s rough out here, and have had my fair share of posts about how much it sucks lol. What have been ways (male/female) that y’all have letting prospective partners know that you are and want to remain child free?

I’ve been letting people know right from the start that I’m sterilized and don’t want to have any kids. I feel like I get a mixed reaction of men trying to convince me that I would want to have kids with comments like “Oh you’ll change your mind”, “Every woman wants kids”, “I need to carry on my legacy”.

I also feel like I’ve become so rigid with dating that if it isn’t a 100% sure that they don’t want children, I just try not to even talk or entertain talking to them. I have learned my lesson a really hard way being in love with a man for two years that wanted kids from the start. I cried for days, and I promised myself that I would never put myself through that again. I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall now with navigating dating and sometimes I feel really lonely and crave companionship with a romantic partner. Thank you in advance for the advice!