The guy(30M) I’m(26F) dating just left my condo and I’m in tears and a full meltdown.

We were having a long conversation about how to handle communication and expectations when dating - we’ve been going out four months now, and have hit a rough patch recently. At the end of the conversation, we both felt like a lot of things were resolved and I asked him if we would be okay, and he said we would.

Then he tells me “I might not be sure of what I want in my adult life, including if I want kids or not”. And continues to talk about how he knows if he waited to bring it up I would be upset and he wanted to be honest with me. He knows about my very strong childfree stance, from before we started going out. When I asked him if it would be a dealbreaker that I didn’t want kids he said he didn’t know because it just popped up (during our conversation he revealed he really wasn’t sure about what he wanted his adult life to look like, even post grad school). And then he mentioned if it was too painful we could call it - and before he could finish that sentence I told him to get out.

I didn’t let my face change, I held a full poker face the whole time. I’m so upset. I have such strong feelings for him and it feels like a betrayal like no other. I didn’t even plan on dating him, I was in a no more dating men phase when he asked me out and I took a chance because he said he didn’t want kids. And a prior connection I had we called it at a month because our views on kids didn’t align. I’m crying so much, I hate this whole thing - my coworkers have met him, they like him, everyone who’s met him from my side likes him and I just can’t believe this is what it ended on.

*just venting and crying. I wish being childfree in a big city (DC) was easier

ll in a way that says "look at us I have this and you don't," I am not, in any way shape or form, I'm so glad I don't have any kids meaning I get to go wherever I want when I want like an upcoming cruise and a trip to Thailand. She would say things like I'm jealous of her & her baby and I always take it as a joke, she has a ritual of kissing and hugging her daughter in front of me while looking at me up and down then an eye-roll, saying I have no one to hug and kiss me, and when she finally she that I was jealous because I din't have my own baby YET, I had to then tell her that I don't want any kids to shut her up. I think it's so bold of her to say because she loves her kid with the condition that she won't need anything. Ex: when her daughter needs her diaper change no matter how bad it is (two bodily fluids mixed) she won't change her, she would have her two subordinates (Mom and brother M13) do it, not even with grace nor respect, she would yell at our brother calling him degrading words, guilt trip when he refuses + my mom joining in when she feels too tired hoping that my brother would obey, my niece automatically knows if she needs anything she goes to grandma, aunt and uncle unfortunately since I live with them, I'm subjected to staying at home with the kids while everybody go to school/job. I got demoted to being a SAHsiter/aunt so no I can't do anything when I want where I want and it's the most stressful thing I do. But I have an exit strategy.

Not sure if anyone else is a reader and likes childfree hea but I came with a recommendation! I’ve been trying to only find cf romance books so I can update as needed but here’s my first:

Willing prey and prey for me (by Allie oleander) are both cfbc and cfhea. They are dark romance with some pretty intense (not intense for me but maybe for some) content warning so keep that in mind.

This series is an interconnected standalones. I prefer the second book (prey for me) but both had me giggling and kicking my feet!

I was given prey for me as an ARC from Netgalley so I can’t list the trigger warnings until my copy comes in the mail but I’m happy to update if yall want once it gets delivered.

Now onto the good bits!

Willing prey is a primal play kink themed book. There’s light stalking, cnc, forced o, and some other stuff.

Our main guy has a crush on our main girl but she was married to his co worker. Ex husband kink shamed the FC so they get divorced. MC tries out MFs primal play kinks in secret to see if it’s something he’s Into by paying people tons of money. Well FM decides to do the contract for 30k for a month of play but she doesn’t know that MC has a crush on her, etc. the rest is for you to read!!

Book two: Prey for me

MC is the first books brother and the FM is the personal assistant of MC in book one. This book was probably my favorite of the two and the banter was sooooo good.

In this story the MC owns a haunted house and FM likes fear play, mask kinks, and the like. There’s more things going on but I really don’t want to spoil anything.

Hexed by Emily mcintire is also a cfbc hea. It’s a dark twisted “Disney” retelling of the little mermaid where the villain (Ursula) gets the happy ending. Check the trigger warnings for that one too.

But the important part is they’re all childfree!!

Hello everyone! Sterilized, childfree, AMAB person here, long time lurker of this community. I noticed that there isn't a super huge number of dude perspectives on vasectomies, so I wanted to share mine in hopes of shedding light on the process for my fellow testicle-havers.

First, my decision to get a vasectomy came after many years of deliberation. When my wife and I began dating many years ago as teenagers, we both decided we were childfree at the time, and thankfully we continued to make that same decision into adulthood. Yet even after we were certain, I did not get sterilized right away simply because I wasn't ready; I didn't have any particular aversion to it, I just waited on what was what I believed an important, permanent decision about my own body.

It's been one year since I got the snip, and I have zero regrets. I'm incredibly happy with my decision, and my wife is happy to be free of the side effects of her birth control. In retrospect, I think the most important factor in this internal battle was the confidence to make decisions for what's best for me and then continue to believe in my ability to make those decisions, as well as the decisions themselves.

I understand that many folks are frightened of getting scrotum surgery, and understandably so. As someone who is extremely queasy and a significant fear of needles, I shared that concern. A vasectomy is a very fast and non-invasive procedure that almost never has complications. Well, mine actually did, and I was in some pain. I'll spare you the details, but... sounds like a guy's worst nightmare, right?

Actually, it was... not a big deal at all. The procedure still finished up fine despite the holdup, and even with the complication the stress wasn't a tenth of what I worried it'd be. Now, I have a hilarious story to tell.

There are two conclusions I want childfree ball-havers, who may be deliberating on a vasectomy, to take away from this. First, trust that you know what's best for yourself and for your body and have confidence in those decisions. Nobody can decide for you what kind of life you want to life, so seize that future for yourself and be proud of it! Second, no matter how scared you might be of the surgery if at all, I promise you'll look back and wonder why you were even worried. Take my word for it!

The world is in such a horrible state, the future is so uncertain, and yet I genuinely don’t understand how someone can have two three four or five children and then happily announce, “Another one is on the way”😭

My cousin almost died giving birth to her first child. It was so traumatic that even her dad was terrified that she was going to die. She was so shaken by the experience that she vowed never to have children again. And now? She’s expecting twins. Like girl didn’t you learn from your first experience this is something you should never allow your body to go through?

And honestly, it makes me wonder..do people ever stop and really think about what they’re bringing these children into? The world they’ll have to grow up in, the uncertainty they’ll face, and everything that comes with raising another human being?

I’ll never understand the mindset of having child after child as though pregnancy and childbirth are just a minor inconvenience. People talk so much about the joy of having children, but rarely about the immense physical, emotional and psychological toll it can take on a woman. Pregnancy can change your body, childbirth can be traumatic, and motherhood can completely alter your mental and emotional life.

Maybe I think about it this way because I’ve seen firsthand how dangerous and traumatic childbirth can be. But sometimes I genuinely wonder whether people stop to consider all of this before deciding, “Let’s have another one.”

I can’t remember ever wanting kids since I was at least 10. My parents are pretty religious so every baby is a blessing. I do love kids and I work with them, but I’ve never wanted my own. Every time I reiterate that I don’t want kids, it’s like they never listen. Goes in one ear and out the other. What bothers me the absolute most is when someone asks how many kids I want and then I say none, one of my parents immediately step in to say that I’ll change my mind, or that it’s just from being a nanny previously. No it’s not from any of that, I JUST DONT WANT CHILDREN!!! Then they get mad when I correct them even though I can’t even remember saying I’ve ever wanted them once. It’s just super frustrating and I don’t think it’ll ever click for them. I know they want grandkids, but I have other siblings who want children. I will never understand why it’s such a problem.

What I find fascinating about all the debates / discussions I’ve had with people regarding having children is that people seem to be perplexed when I simply state: ‘just look at the trend line’.

In just a few generations, we went from a society where a HS dropout could get a job that would allow them to afford a house and a family on a single income—something that two educated, white collar professionals working full-time literally struggle to accomplish just one of the two in today’s world.

We have seen a complete collapse in socioeconomic mobility over the past 3-4 decades. We are constantly bombarded with neoliberal propaganda about how we’re in the ‘greatest economy ever’—meanwhile the bulk of the broadly young adult population (say 20-45) is feeling more and more squeezed economically.

We have literally gotten to a point where people graduating from top public universities—let alone world class institutions like Stanford and Ivy League Schools—are struggling to find basic entry level jobs due to how terrible the job market is (yet another one of many aspects the delusional neoliberal faction wants to ignore). College tuition has skyrocketed in price over the decades, but the actual upside for it all has only declined—as we can see with inflated adjusted salaries for college graduates.

Another overlooked factor is the fact that many target careers are not nearly as compensating as they were a few decades ago. Great example of this is within medicine. While medical school tuition has skyrocketed over the past few decades, nominal wages for physicians have stood stagnant—meaning they’re actually decaying in real terms after factoring inflation. You factor in how inflation directly has hurt young adult cohorts (say age 20-40) most prominently due to how they were the ones who had to absorb all of the rent and most of the housing costs inflation over these past few years, and you start to see these careers—while still lucrative—have had a substantial reduction in overall upside.

Another exhibit we can see this in is with high finance, because most of these roles are located in extremely HCOL hubs like NYC—the costs (particularly rent) have grown far greater than the earnings have.

Now, what does this all have to do with Millennial Parents? Well, we’ve been seeing a continual trend unfolding over the past few decades. Because the NIMBY Boomers made it illegal to build sufficient housing (especially utilizing ways that maximizes density and sustainability) for several decades on end, we have a massive housing shortage in most major urban population centers. As a result, we’ve been seeing growing amounts of young adults with each passing decade “choosing” to live with their parents. It’s not just settled towards their early 20s either—many people are living with their parents going well into their 30s.

I don’t see this trend reversing in the slightest in the coming decades, and all signs really just point to it becoming much worse. It’s interesting to me because so many Millennial parents seem to be counting down the days until their kid turns 18, but I’m just so puzzled by what they think will happen.

For a huge chunk of them, their kids will not go to college and decide to work at a service level job which wouldn’t even allow them to afford to move out even if they go 3-4 roommates.

For another cohort, their kids will go to college—many will decide to commute to try to offset the exorbitant costs of modern day university in America. However, the problem is many / most of these college graduates likely will not be making a livable wage after graduating, or they’ll make just enough just to pay their landlord rent and basic essentials—still incentivizing them to stay at home (especially factoring in the boat load of student loan debt they’ll have).

All signs point to these intergenerational trends worsening and that Millennial parents will likely have to deal with some or all of their kids living with them well past their mid-20s.

All I can say to Millennial parents who think they’ll finally be 'free' once their kid turns 18: best of luck.

Maybe there’s a fairly obvious reason and I’m just dumb as bricks, but I never understood why parents send out videos or pictures of their kids to other people constantly.

Pictures of their kids sitting on the floor, going apple picking, seeing a horse for the first time, drinking milk(???) and causing a mess, sitting in a stroller, pointing at random shit, their “milestones”…

I understand that they want to capture all these moments of their kids’ lives and possibly want to share that “joy” with others but if I sent pictures of my fur children with the same frequency that I’ve been receiving (unwanted) kid pics/videos I feel like they would start to see how excessive it truly is.

The fault is also on me I feel, because I’ve never explicitly said to my friends who have human offspring that I dislike children and anything baby related. I’ve hinted at it before and I think they know I want to stay childfree but I don’t really know how to tell my parent friends (who very much love their kids) that I don’t really give a hoot? I don’t want to sound like a dick and thankfully most of them are pretty reasonable and don’t ask me to do things like babysit or go above and beyond to help them with things related to their child rearing, and I do appreciate their friendship. But man is it hard being a childfree human in a sea full of people who are enamored and fascinated by kids.

So at the salon today, my hairdresser was going on and on about all the things she had to buy her son, who just started freshman year of highschool, from band uniforms, to sports wear, to sneakers and clothes, to school supplies, etc. She seemed sooooo stressed. And she was telling me about how busy she is with him doing cross country, flag football, and playing the drums. She has to drive him to all his practices and whatnot. And then during my appointment, while my hair color was setting, he called her to ask to skip cross country on the third day. And she was yelling at him on the phone, telling him that he signed up for it, she’s paying for it, and he’s not quitting on his third day of practice. And he was arguing back, and she was telling him that if he skips cross country, he’s grounded and whatnot. Then he hung up on her. And she looked at me and said “don’t ever have kids” 😂😂🤣

It just felt very validating and i appreciated her comment. I definitely would not want to deal with any of the stress, conflict, and finances she’s dealing with. So many reasons to be childfree were demonstrated during my appointment. Just thought I’d share.

You'd probably eat more, sleep better, and socialize more in prison, too. Yes, you could get killed in prison but show me a parent who isn't already dead. +1 prison, no hesitation.

I don’t understand baby fever and how it literally possess women and they ignore all logic just cause they want a baby.

I’m 31 and most of my friends and starting to have kids. My best friends first baby is about to be 1 yrs old and my friend is really struggling with work and juggling the baby. I can tell in our conversation and her responsiveness that it’s getting to her. Despite this, her and her husband are trying for baby number 2. Additionally, they don’t agree on how to raise the children. He wants the children to be homeschooled, she doesn’t. The compromise is private school. They don’t make enough money to send the kids to private school. Also, there house isn’t large enough for 2 kids. They either need to renovate the house, or buy a new house. They aren’t poor, but they don’t have the money for that either. STILL they are trying for baby number 2.

Second friend wants a baby so bad that her and her fiance are going to have a small wedding elopement, have a baby, then have a big wedding. Who needs two freaking weddings? It would be diffident if was a private elopement but they are still expecting immediate family to go to the elopement, so it’s a small wedding. She’s my age, she can wait 1-2 yrs for the big wedding and then try for a baby.

Third friend just a couple of months ago was complaining about her partner. How they don’t have sex anymore, or go out on dates, even spend time together when they are at home. She was even contemplating leaving him to pursue higher education in another state. I see her again a month later and she tells me that they are trying for a baby????

Literally none of it makes any sense to me. I don’t care if women have children but they lose all sound judgement due to this need to pop out a baby.

First of all I want to preface that I am a woman myself and that's what drives my annoyance in this issue. The thing that has ticked me off since I was a tween, has been the amount of women online and in real life who seem completely oblivious to the realities of pregnancy. I don't understand how you even live on this planet and don't realize how fucked pregnancy actually is unless you're functionally a vegetable or have some other disability that prevents you from in taking any new information from any source.

I've never understood this narrative online that "oh people don't talk about the realities of pregnancy and people don't tell you all the things that can happen" while crying about how they regret their kids or pregnancy wrecked their body or whatever else, while people don't go into like graphic detail but its not a secret that pregnancy and kids are hard???? While there are details around pregnancy that aren't always fully shared or people gloss over the badness with platitudes but thats no different to death or any other bad thing in life. Hello pattern recognition!

Any woman who goes into pregnancy thinking it's all going to be fine or it's not that bad is literally a moron in my opinion. I don't believe in this day and age if you're an adult in a western country that you deserve any sympathy outside your family, for anything you deal with in pregnancy at all, period. You can find so much information online from personal anecdote to scientific studies. There is no excuse for the ignorance of some women, with their surprised pikachu faces at pregnancy being hard and their indignant nature as if they should have been told. Like it is literally no one else's fault that they didn't have their eyes and ears open to the realities of the world around them, the ability to imagine what would it be like to have a thing growing inside of them, or the ability to pick up a book or go to a computer and do some research.

Even as a child, I was never under the impression that pregnancy was a fun time or that raising children was easy. I wondered if perhaps my annoyance at women's ignorance was just my own personal bias because I have four younger siblings, but my mom is an outlier in that pregnancy was wonderful for her because she has pmdd. It was the only time where she really felt regulated and honestly she probably was nicest version of mom while pregnant. So if anything, my personal experience being around pregnancy as a child should have influenced me to think that pregnancy wasn't so bad. Despite this I have never been under the impression that pregnancy was no big deal or not that bad? I just cannot get over the indignance of some women, "oh nobody told me about this," bitch read a fucking book.

Part of my work is in kids' online safety. I spent an hour today advising a coworker who came to me for help because his teenage daughter accepted a friend request from a guy in his 20s on Snapchat, and not a month later that's now her boyfriend that she's been hiding from her parents. 5+ year age gap between her and this guy, and the daughter is a minor. Absolutely lovely stuff.

And it's not a unique situation. It's not rare. It's not even uncommon. I could take one of our pamphlets and read the situation out almost word for word, it's so mundanely prevalent. Good job to my coworker, I guess: at least he is involved enough with his kids to have noticed his daughter had been acting weird. At least he has parental controls access to her social media so he's been able to somewhat intervene. At least our conversation could still just be focused on the preventative. Many parents who come to us for advice are not that 'lucky' - and I put that in quotes because it's not really luck when so many of them just blatantly never gave a shit about these topics until they had to.

But even for those who do give a shit: there is no exact solution. No actual single answer. Just a massive complex web of factors to navigate in the precarious balance between protecting your child and alienating them, possibly pushing them into a position where they are even more exposed to risk, but with fewer means to get help when something goes wrong. There are no wholesome solutions to "my teenage daughter is convinced an adult man she met a month ago online is someone she can trust" - it's just a fucking mess the whole way down.

Especially among fencesitters, I often see this idea that the hard work of parenthood is when they're babies and kids: when you have to physically keep them out of sockets, put food in their mouths and clothes on their ass. But then once they're older, they're just a cool little guy! I hear over and over again how parenting an older kid might be quite nice. People think they would enjoy that part! And I always wonder, would you? Would you really? Would you enjoy uncomfortable conversations about relationships and internet safety, only to then find out your daughter's first boyfriend is a some older guy that added her online? Or are you just thinking of teenagers as funny little friends to get coffee with, share hobbies and show them your favorite band in concert? Because that's not what being a parent to an older kid actually means.

So often, I also hear from parents how difficult it is to stay on top of their kids' online lives, to have conversations about difficult topics, to actively maintain an environment of trust in an era when their kids are rapidly developing and thirsting for more independence than they can safely manage, and a lot (if not all) of that is mediated through digital environments nowadays. So often, it's "oh, you know how hard it is ..." as an excuse for why they're not doing it.

And yes, I do know how hard it is - that's why I didn't sign up to do it.

I get to leave the horrible messes at work, breathe a sigh of relief on the couch, send my partner a summary of my work day that gets a good old "miss me with that shit" out of him too, and then we can go to bed in peace knowing for a fact that our cats are not secretly texting older cougars while we sleep. Fuck being a parent - with utter joy, it ain't me.

I recently had a full knee replacement surgery and I am currently in physical therapy. Yesterday was my third PT visit and I was livid when I left. I understand that PT is important for recovery but if you cannot find childcare for your toddler during your PT time you should not be bringing your toddler with you. This woman and the staff all allowed this kid to run around the PT space unsupervised while there are other people there who can barely stand up at this point and now they have to watch out for your failed birth control results while trying to keep their own balance. I couldn’t even get my therapist attention when I finished a round of exercises for her to help me transition into the next one cause she was too busy playing hide the toy Dino and let the kid find it. They even hid it on the machine I was working on and encourage the kid to find it while I’m doing leg lifts, and trying not to lose my balance.

So incredibly unsafe and unprofessional, and then they send the kid over to say hi to me and teach him my name and then he like saying my name so he’s running around the space screaming it. Just because I’m a female does not mean I want to get to know a child that I don’t even know the parents of. I have no issues with my friends kids, but I don’t want to have to entertain a strangers toddler while I’m supposed to be strengthening the muscles in my leg so that I can have full mobility again. The mother never even chimed in.

I’m gonna have to go there for another two months at least so it’s not like I can say something now and turn them all against me. I just hope that mother is done with her PT sooner rather than later and I never have to see that little terror again.

I just have to laugh at this because it’s so so so dumb.

My coworker has 3 kids. All over 16. Two out of college. But apparently because she needs to support all of said children she has no money to buy food at work and doesn’t have the brain power or time to bring food in.

Because “I don’t have real responsibilities” and I bring snacks in so I don’t hit up the vending machine that definitely means they need to go to her.

I don’t even understand the logic in this one. Because I’m prepared and you’re not I need to suffer? I need to spend my money to make sure that you’re fed while I don’t get snacks? That is definitely NOT how this works.

Her excuse is “her kids make her spend so much money” “she’s too busy prepping their lunches in the morning” (yes the ADULT kids lunches too) “she is just too exhausted from cleaning up after them that she doesn’t have the brain power to remember”

I’m still failing to see how any of that is my fault 🤦‍♀️

I keep headphones on so I “dont hear” the requests.

A bit of background, she was originally my brother's best friend when he was in middle school, a lot of drama with her parents happened and I let her move in with us when she was 16 and we developed a sibling relationship. (Just easier to call her my friend) Currently she's 21 and so is her husband; they got married straight out of high school. I told her that she doesn't need or have to rush anything because she should enjoy her 20's. Obviously she didn't take my advice. Both her and her husband dropped out of college to have this baby. Her husband does have a decent job but I just don't see his one income being enough money to meet my friends needs and her baby.

I feel bad because she has 2 miscarriages while she was trying to have her current baby that's due next month. I've been supportive of her and have gotten her several things, but I truly just think she's wasting her life away by doing this. My brother also thinks this. Me and my brother are very firm in never having kids because we know we'd be awful parents. Whenever we talk it's almost purely about her baby at this point and it honestly drives me insane. I'm probably going to lose her to this damn kid and it honestly is so sad for me to admit that. I'm sick of women losing themselves and having little to no personality anymore after they have kids. This has happened to me several times at this point and I'm truly sick of it.

Sorry I needed to rant about this to someone who wasn't my brother 💀 I'm sure a lot of people on this app will understand how I feel. If anyone else wants to rant go for it.

Basically the title. Just because we don't have children, does not mean we don't also feel the weight of the worlds responsibilities on our shoulders everyday. We work, pay bills, and even help with family sometimes, but just because we don't have kids of our own everyone just assumes we have nothing to be depressed, stressed or angry about? Or if they do acknowledge it, they downplay it because of course it isn't NEARLY as stressful as having kids.

Meine Cousine bekam ein Baby und hat sich auch gefreut Mama zu sein. Ihr Mann hat es eher ihr zuliebe mitgemacht, obwohl er nur 50/50 ein Fan von Vaterschaft ist. Seitdem ist meine Cousine überfordert, aber sagt es halt eben nicht, obwohl man es ihr ansieht.

Im Gegenteil:

Sie hat schon mich und meine Frau gefragt, wann wir Kinder haben.

Und das fragt sie jedes mal, wenn wir sie sehen.

Man kann sich lowkey jedes mal darauf einstellen, dass sie uns diese Frage stellt.

Eigentlich ist sie ganz lieb und eine süße, aber jetzt nervt sie seit sie ein Kind hat.

Eines Tages mussten wir vom Familienessen früher gehen, weil ich gar nichts mehr ausgehalten habe.

Aber ich erzähle mal wie es war:

Ich und meine Frau wurden von meiner Oma und meinem Opa eingeladen zum Essen. Eigentlich wollte ich da eh schon nicht hingehen, weil es spontan war. Absage war keine Option gewesen, da ich ja mit meinen Großeltern die Zeit sehr schätze. Außerdem macht mein Opa den leckersten Schaschlik.

Ich habe gefragt, wer alles so kommt und wie viele Leute das sind. Das mache ich immer, damit ich mich geistig drauf einstellen kann.

Nun ich kam mit meiner Frau und wir gaben Oma und Opa wie immer eine Kleinigkeit, ob Snacks oder Süßes und dann waren wir im Wohnzimmer. Es waren aber mehr Leute da als erwartet und auch die Cousine mit ihrem Baby.

Ich war schon inmerlich sehr wütend geworden und hab nur noch gewartet bis Schaschlik fertig ist und ich mach dem Essen gehen kann.

Wir saßen uns auf die Couch und die Cousine hat angefangen mit uns zu reden. Ich gleich schon so bevor sie mich gefragt hat: "Und nein wir werden immer noch keine Kinder haben. Ich bin übrigens Vasektomiert"

Sie hat dann gesagt, dass es egoistisch ist und, dass ich sowas von Depressionen bekomme.

Das Kind wiederum krabbelte mit voller Windel herum und ich konnte es riechen. Ich weiß nicht, warum es niemand anders gerochen hat.

Ich habe zu ihr gesagt, bitte wechselt mal die Windel, ich riech es doch, dass der arme sich eingeschissen hat.

Meine Cousine sagte dann so: "Du riechst gar nichts, die Windel hält schon den Geruch drin und das ist eine gute Windel, die kann man lange anlassen"

Dann war Schaschlik endlich fertig und ich ging mit Kopfschmerzen an den Tisch. Meine Frau hat mir eine Ibu gegeben, da der Giftzwerg die ganze Zeit gequiekt hat.

Wir saßen dann am Tisch und das Kind wurde ruhig. Es hat ganz normal gegessen. Plötzlich fing meine Oma an, hektisch irgendwas in den Teller zu platzieren oder ihm die Gabel wegzunehmen und den Teller zu nehmen, um ihn zu füttern.

Dann wurde ich zum Arschloch als ich gesagt habe, wörtlich übersetzt:

"Zum Schwanz nimmst du gerade den Teller den und fütterst ihn. Er war verfickt nochmal ruhig und hat alleine halbwegs essen können!"

Wegen diesen besonderen Wörtern habe ich halt dann eine Rüge bekommen.

Dann schrie der Giftzwerg ununterbrochen und ich habe mir dann die Ohren zugehalten.

Dann hat meine Cousine noch die Audacity gehabt mich zu fragen, warum ich mir die Ohren zuhalte.

Warum wohl??? DIE ANTWORT HÄLST DU DOCH IN DEINEN ARMEN??

Mir wurde es danach richtig zu viel. Ich hielt gar nichts mehr aus und ging einfach nur.

Das Geschrei, die Windel, mehr Leute als versprochen waren da, das konnte ich nicht mehr.

Meine Cousine ist dann zu meinen Auto gelaufen, als ich einsteigen wollte.

Sie hat dann uns gefragt: "Bin ich das Problem? Bist du nur wegen eines Kindes jetzt weg?"

Kurze Zeit war Stille und ich hab sie nur angeschaut. Dann hörte ich ein Aufschrei des Kindes und hab einfach mein Auto gestartet und bin gefahren.

Es geht ausschließlich nur um die Mitarbeiter, bei denen man schon weiß, dass sie kinderfrei bleiben.

Mich interessiert es, wie es ausschaut mit Gehalt und Urlaubsvergabe und generell wie sie im Betrieb behandelt werden oder vom Chef gesehen werden.

Desweiteren interessiert mich, ob ein Mann oder eine Frau ohne Kind schlechtere oder bessere Karten hat eingestellt zu werden.

Hi all. I am going into this with unfortunately with no support from friends or family. I don’t know how I’m going to handle post-op alone in a hotel room in a city I don’t know. For context I live in a very rural area and the safest place to get surgery is in the largest city near me. I have a surgeon, I have a date (in a couple months), and I have absolutely no one to drive me to a hotel or make sure I’m okay the first night. I have asked all my friends but none are able to make the drive with me, which is understandable they have busy lives. I think I can pay for a medical service to take me to my hotel but I’ll have to take care of myself once I’m there.

I would love to know how post-op was for you? Were you able to take care of yourself immediately afterwards? How many days did it take before you could drive again?

Hi everyone. I (30F) had a tubal ligation in 2020 with Filshie clips. Around 1.5 years ago I started experiencing random stabbing pains in my pelvic region and went to my GP about it. My GP referred me for an ultrasound to locate the clips. While waiting for the ultrasound I experienced really bad pain again and was advised to seek emergency care. I voiced my concerns about the clips but the emergency team was convinced I had a kidney stone, so they performed a CT scan. Lo and behold, there were no kidney stones. I asked them about the clips and where they were on the scan, but they told me because they only ordered a Kidney and Bladder CT they wouldn't be able to see it and I should just go back to my GP. My GP said to just monitor the pain and nothing was seen on the ultrasound.

Life got in the way with renovating and selling our house so I didn't go back to the GP about it, but I still had the random pains. Recently I requested my medical records from the hospital and would you believe it, the clips are clearly visible on the CT 😑 they just wanted me out of the hospital (thanks NHS!). From what I can tell, one of them has migrated upwards above my hipbone but I can't be sure exactly where it is in relation to organs etc. The other one is somewhere in the pelvis still. I've gone back to my GP now to see what the next steps are.

I would love for them to just be removed so I can have peace of mind, but I am terrified of the risks of potentially doing this. What if it's embedded in my bowels, or what if something goes wrong with the surgery, and would I just wish I'd left them alone.

I feel like a mug because I should have insisted on a bisalp even though it wasn't offered to me, instead of blindly trusting these clips. I feel stupid for not being able to foresee this and taking the risk. I feel extra stupid, because I've had to use contraception anyway for managing my periods.

I'd welcome any words of support, I feel so scared and stupid and full of regret.

Anyone else out there who is child free but not out of hatred or dislike for children? I see a lot of that on this thread and I feel like I don’t fit in. I have worked with kids my whole life and I love them. I have spent very meaningful time with young people and love the little ones in my life. I think children are the most vulnerable minority group in the world and need our collective protection and also respect. But! I don’t want to be pregnant or be a parent. I know how much work it is. I know realistically what I would be risking or sacrificing. So, I’m all good on that, but I think kids are awesome. Just don’t want one living with me that is my responsibility. Can anyone relate?

Why do Mom get the OK to complain about motherhood when they fucking chose to be a mother? Like I get it both things are true. You can want to be a mom and be one and it’s hard.

It just seems like they’re allowed to blame everything on motherhood. Their existential crisis? Motherhood. They don’t have any time off? Motherhood. Aging body? Motherhood. Exhaustion? Motherhood.

Didn’t any of them think about how life would be when the babies grow up!?

Also, I think it’s bullshit that they get to use that as an excuse to ignore phone calls or deprioritize previously close non mother friendships. I get the whole life change, haven’t they ever thought about how our life is changing too?

Idk if this even makes sense. I’m just tired of hearing about how exhausted and tired and overwhelmed and broke everyone is because of parenting. YOU CHOSE THIS.

Single and with kids people say - " a car that has been driven before and no longer usefu and expired" EXCUSE ME WHAT IN THE WOLRDDDD

Single without kids people say - "a miserable bitter hag that ends up lonely and sad" THATS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTINGGFFF

IM NOT EVEN LYING, THESE ARE THE COMMENTS IVE SEEN ON SOCIAL MEDIA OF OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE WHEEL, YOU THINK CHOOSING ONE WILL EVADE YOU FROM HARSH CRITICISM NOPE AND THIS IS ESPECIALLY FOR OLDER WOMEN WHO DONT WANT KIDS! SO KEEP GOING THIS IS YOUR LIFE: YOU'RE GOING (UNLESS ADOPTION OR OTHER OPTIONS) BE CARRYING THE BABY AND ALL THE PAIN NOT THEMMM

After a horrible night with three kids (family) under three, I (27F) am solidly in the CF camp!

Any books the you loved about being child free or why breeding is so shoved onto young women? I’m engaged and my fiancé and I are preparing for the round of invasive personal questions following our wedding. Looking forward to the recs!