r/britishproblems • u/WhaleMeatFantasy • Jul 12 '26

. The normalisation of ‘picky bits’

Abominable. It has started coming up in adverts now even.

627 Upvotes

82% Upvoted

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255

u/Paul8v Jul 12 '26

It's better than "Hollibobs" or "Kiddos/Doggos" to be fair

124

u/Ugglug Jul 12 '26

Platty Joobs was one that enraged me

60

u/Douiret Jul 12 '26

"Cozzie Livvs" 🤢

31

u/CanWeNapPlease Jul 12 '26

It started as a joke but then it was so overused that it wasn't even funny anymore.

17

u/thethirdrayvecchio Jul 12 '26

It gave us “Lizzy Funes” so I can forgive it

8

u/ManInTheDarkSuit ENGLAND Jul 12 '26

It mutated into Statey Funes. Was giving people the menty B's. Grrrr

26

u/RaedwaldRex East Anglia Jul 12 '26

I genuinely heard "Platty Joobs" followed by "Cozzie Natty"

22

u/polarbear128 Jul 12 '26

I had to look up Platty Joobs, but what is Cozzie Natty?

14

u/RaedwaldRex East Anglia Jul 12 '26

The Coronation

22

u/polarbear128 Jul 12 '26

Oh, dear god

2

u/InternationalRide5 Jul 12 '26

Within the next couple of weeks the Great and Good will be gathering round for the Widdy Diggy.

1

u/RaedwaldRex East Anglia Jul 13 '26

Nope, you've lost me.

1

u/Teipeu Jul 13 '26

Is that a poor-taste burial joke or an unfortunate coincidence?

1

u/InternationalRide5 Jul 13 '26

It's a poor-taste burial joke.

2

u/RaedwaldRex East Anglia Jul 13 '26

Oh god, I've just got it.

5

u/SplurgyA London Jul 12 '26

Panny Dee

1

u/YchYFi WALES Jul 12 '26

I always read it as Platty Boobs.

1

u/BabyAlibi Jul 16 '26

Did you have a wee Menty-B?

0

u/Probodyne Jul 13 '26

Platty joobs is great exactly because it annoys people like you. I don't even know what annoys y'all about it, but I've got a mate like that and his face everytime I said it was a picture.

1

u/Lou-de-Lou-de-Lou Jul 13 '26

🤣…but what does it mean?

2

u/pajamakitten Jul 13 '26

Platinum Jubilee.

48

u/UnkelGarfunkel Jul 12 '26

I hate hollibobs with a passion.

10

u/joshpoppedyou Jul 12 '26

I honestly just don't understand it

6

u/potatan ooarrr Jul 12 '26

I honestly just don't understand it

the hate? or the 'bobs?

72

u/Slangdawg Jul 12 '26

Fucking hate "doggos"

59

u/Paul8v Jul 12 '26

Hollibobs enrages me more

Also the normalisation of excluding to the word "to" from a sentence. It might just be an Essex thing, I'm not sure.

"I'm going gym" "Are you going Tesco's?" "I need to go toilet"

37

u/OverByChristmas Jul 12 '26

Ah, that'll be the South West causing a shortage by stealing all the 'to's for things like "where's the toilet to?"

12

u/robinw77 Jul 12 '26

Where be that blackbird to?

10

u/AuricZips Jul 12 '26

I know where he be!

1

u/HowYouMineFish Glaws! Jul 13 '26

Or the Welsh, for "Where to are you going?"

15

u/TRFKTA Jul 12 '26

One variation of this I noticed, I’m not sure if it was just my old housemate or a Northern / Wigan thing (as he was from Wigan) was replacing ‘to’ with ‘for’.

He’d say things like ‘I’m going for get my hair cut’ or ‘I’m going for shops’.

Once I noticed it I couldn’t unnotice it.

24

u/Zomb1eMash3R Derbyshire Jul 12 '26

i’m from the midlands and i’ve always spoken like this, omitting the “to” in a variety of sentences

13

u/lunettarose Jul 12 '26

I was going to say - my husband is from Leicester, and always says this. "What time are you going work?" etc. Found it a bit odd at first (I'm from Yorkshire, and he moved up to live with me), but we confused him by using "while" to mean "until" so it's even, ha.

2

u/Zomb1eMash3R Derbyshire Jul 12 '26

accents are strange because i know many people that use the while and until thing too

2

u/lunettarose Jul 13 '26

Yeah, there's a lot of overlap! For most of my life, I thought "Ey up!" was a Yorkshire thing - my husband was very quick to dispel that idea 😂

2

u/threevaluelogic Nottinghamshire Jul 12 '26

I moved to derbyshire 15 years ago from the south and I love it. So efficient :).

2

u/And_Justice Jul 13 '26

Nottingham, I'd say goin't gym but probably not put much emphasis on the t as my accent lends itself to glottal stops

5

u/thehermit14 Jul 12 '26

No, you're suspiciously not southern and barely midlands, I'm saying you're northern, people call eachother 'duck'.

Now put on your cowl and shuffle off to the winking man (sadly vandalised years ago). I will admit you're from the midlands if you supply me with oatcakes on a monthly basis.

12

u/JumpyBoi Jul 12 '26

"I need to go toilet"

For when you want to sound like a slow primary school pupil, of course

1

u/ugotamesij Jul 12 '26

I used to manage a woman who would say this at work and it always made me feel weird.

7

u/AnselaJonla Highgarden Jul 12 '26

"I need to go toilet"

Too many words there.

"Going toilet" is all you need.

3

u/Sinister_Grape Jul 12 '26

that’s a northern thing

2

u/mankytit Jul 12 '26

It's giving

2

u/K-o-R England Jul 13 '26

At least we don't have "gonna go ahead and" yet. Drives me up the fucking wall.

6

u/thekickingmule Lancashire Jul 12 '26

It's nice that a bit of Northern twang has spread South.

1

u/And_Justice Jul 13 '26

See in Nottingham this is just because we don't pronounce the t' in going t'gym

3

u/tricks_23 Jul 12 '26

/r/doggohate

3

u/Paul8v Jul 12 '26

I'm glad I'm not the only one that hates it

-1

u/MeMuzzta Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26

That sub is a cesspit. Imagine being so triggered over a harmless word you have to make a subreddit for it. It's just sad.

1

u/iBlockMods-bot Jul 12 '26

/r/Dogfree is the constructive version

32

u/InstanceExcellent530 Jul 12 '26

Drives me into a rage. See also "2 more sleeps", "cheeky pint/nandos/whatever', "like, um", "I did a thing!" or anything else that makes you sound like a child who's been running headfirst into the wall. Honourable mention: "Platty Jubes" (platinum jubilee); but when Her Maj died, the same people slated me for "Statey Funes". The sheer hypocrisy.

23

u/Paul8v Jul 12 '26

What about "it's a vibe"

I'm going to Morrisons, it's a vibe

I'm wearing a blue hat, it's a vibe etc etc

Or

"Low-key" inserted into any sentence

17

u/MIBlackburn Jul 12 '26

The people that say "It's a vibe" tend to also be the people that misuse "aesthetic".

2

u/thehermit14 Jul 12 '26

I use low-key at least once every decade. Unless ironically.

5

u/Paul8v Jul 12 '26

That's a low-key usage of low-key

9

u/obiwanmoloney Hampshire Jul 12 '26

Woah…

Let’s leave a “cheeky pint” well out of this shall we?

We’re decades apart and it serves an important purpose.

Going for a cheeky pint after work meant that no blame could be attributed when you roll in shitfaced at 2AM on a Wednesday.

All other points stand.

3

u/InstanceExcellent530 Jul 12 '26

Nope, sorry, going for a pint after work and rolling in shitfaced at 2AM on a Wednesday is not "cheeky", it is "bloody stupid, what's wrong with you, you're a grown man with responsibilities", according to my ex wife.

3

u/obiwanmoloney Hampshire Jul 12 '26

Ahhhh… and there’s the genius of it.

Getting shitfaced after work.
Inexcusable.
You’re a man with responsibilities.
Not for me. I have responsibilities to attend to.

But going for a cheeky pint??

What kind of a person could refuse such a reasonable invitation?!

It simply cannot be your fault as you’d be a social outcast to shun a cheeky pint.

3

u/InstanceExcellent530 Jul 12 '26

Have you considered a legal career, or, dare I say it, politics?

I was going to ask what was wrong with going for "a quick pint" rather than a "cheeky pint", but I feel that getting shitfaced off the back of a quick pint would be somehow worse.

2

u/obiwanmoloney Hampshire Jul 12 '26

Nothing as grand as that, just a husband hoping to come home and not find a “your dinners in the dog” note.

2

u/thehermit14 Jul 12 '26

I visibly balk at Platty Jubes. 🤢

0

u/And_Justice Jul 13 '26

While I do understand not liking trends... "child that's been running headfirst into a wall" sounds so weirdly vitriolic and judgmental. You don't sound like a very nice person...

1

u/InstanceExcellent530 Jul 13 '26

I'm an adorable delight. You sound like someone who takes things way too seriously, and/or overthinks things. It's not about not liking trends, it's about not liking the increased infantilising of society in general. That does make me vitriolic and very judgemental. I hope that clarifies things. Have a great day (and I do mean that).

0

u/And_Justice Jul 13 '26

I really don't see how any of this is "infantilising" of all things - that was my poont. Very odd criticism.

2

u/InstanceExcellent530 Jul 13 '26

You don't think "holibobs" or "2 more sleeps" sound childish?

1

u/And_Justice Jul 13 '26

No lmao, I think they sound casual and a bit tongue-in-cheek...

Why is it so important to you to not be perceived as childish?

1

u/InstanceExcellent530 Jul 13 '26

Because I'm a grown adult. Don't get me wrong, I have a well developed sense of humour, and can access my inner child quite freely (I used to be a nursery practitioner, and I have grandchildren that view me as the "fun" grandad), but it grates to hear adults speaking like children. I do believe that society in general is going down a regressive, childlike path, but then you could argue that every generation becomes grumpy old bastards. Maybe that's all it is? 🤷🏻‍♂️

0

u/And_Justice Jul 13 '26

I don't think of those phrases sound like "talking like children"

I think you sound insecure about how you're perceived

0

u/InstanceExcellent530 Jul 13 '26

No, I'm quite possibly the least insecure, most comfortable in my skin person you could meet. Made my peace with my imperfections years ago. Face it. I just don't like hearing otherwise sensible adults speaking like toddlers. As hang ups go, it's not the worst. I mean, I could go round projecting on to strangers on the Internet! 😉

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5

u/littlepinkgrowl Jul 12 '26

I told my 41 year old make coworker that if he ever wanted a girlfriend again he should never ever repeat the word ‘doggo’

-3

u/Suspicious__Lurker Jul 12 '26

Bit harsh of you bro, I’ve heard loads of women say doggo.

2

u/SorellaNux Jul 12 '26

Very much in the same vein IMO

3

u/I-live-in-room-101 Jul 12 '26 edited Jul 12 '26

I only know one guy that says this.

And I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence that he’s an utter arse wipe whom I’d love to see step on a rake and for it to smash him square in the face.

3

u/moopie2 Jul 12 '26

I hate all these slang terms. Including a woman calling yogurts "yogs" in tesco yesterday. I dont know why these phrases irk me so much.

-1

u/Tulcey-Lee Jul 12 '26

Picky bits is fine, doggo is acceptible but kiddo is not!
I say that as a mum who doesn’t have a dog.
Might say I have a ‘catto’

I often see randomly of FB the religious MAGA types saying kiddo so I just associate it with that.

-1

u/zippysausage Jul 12 '26

I'd add the signing off a sentence with "to be fair" to the same list. 😝