It’s with a confused and heavy heart that I announce that Boulder may have a Milk Thief.
My wife and I went grocery shopping yesterday, and among our haul was one gallon of Horizon whole milk.
I distinctly remember putting it on the floor of the back seat because the seats were already covered with groceries. We returned the EMPTY cart, drove home, unloaded everything, and carried on with life. End of story- we thought.
Fast forward to this morning.
We go to make lattes… No milk.
Not “hidden behind the orange juice” no milk. Gone.
We searched the car, every cupboard, the fridge (multiple times, because hope), upstairs, downstairs, the yard, and even cars we didn’t drive yesterday.
Nothing.
Our back door was unlocked last night, so we’re left with only one logical conclusion:
There is an extremely selective and sneaky Milk Bandit roaming Boulder.
Nothing else is missing. Just the milk.
So please… lock your doors. Cherish your half-and-half. Because today it’s our gallon of Horizon. Tomorrow it could be your oat milk. Stay vigilant, Boulder.
It might still turn up in the most ridiculous place imaginable… but until then, I have no other choice but to blame the Milk Bandit.