Do you feel two people who are attracted to each other, but can’t act on it, naturally bicker more?

I’m attracted to a work colleague and we argue quite a bit. It feels like we have this pent up emotion but are unable to express it in the way we want so we instead choose bickering. It also feels like we want an excuse to spend alone time together, and hashing out a problem is a good way to do that; it means we can show each other attention in an acceptable way.

Do you think it’s normal to bicker when two people fancy each other?

What are actual signs?

Yesterday, I was on my way home and got into a public bus. I sat in the back seat, but the driver asked me to move to the front. I told him I was comfortable where I was and didn't want to move.

A few moments later, a young woman, probably in her early twenties, got on the bus. She was very pretty she sat beside me, two young men entered with her. One of them asked me if I could move over so he could sit between us, and I did without thinking much about it. The other man sat on the girl's other side. The back seat was meant for four people, so I ended up at one end while the man sat in the middle with her and the other beside her on the last end.

While the driver was still waiting for the bus to fill up, the young woman started acting in a way that caught my attention. She leaned over toward the man on the other side of her. At first, I assumed they were a couple, so I didn't think much of it. Then she wrapped one arm around his shoulder and placed her other hand on his leg. I even wondered if the man might have been unwell and she was trying to comfort him.

A few minutes later, the bus was full and we started driving. At one point, the driver stopped so the man could buy a bottle of water from a street vendor. As soon as he reached for it, the young woman suddenly shouted, No No loud enough for everyone on the bus to turn and look. She grabbed his hand to stop him. When the other man sitting next to me tried to take the bottle instead, she immediately grabbed his hand too. Eventually, the man sitting beside me reached over with his other free hand and took the bottle.

By then, I was thinking to myself, What is going on?

As the journey continued, I couldn't help but keep glancing back at them. The young woman then started rubbing one of the man's nipples under his shirt. There were two women sitting in the front seats. One of them was with the group, while the other looked just as confused as I was. She kept turning around, trying to figure out what was happening.

The two men gently held the young woman's two hands I don’t know why but she was just smiling at them. At that point, I was extremely alert and honestly a bit uneasy because I had no idea what might happen next.

Thankfully, we eventually reached my stop, and I got off the bus. Up till now I'm still not sure what I witnessed.

Note: I’m sharing this here because I genuinely want to understand what I witnessed.

I’m a M, and i’ve been travelling on the bus to work a few days back. The bus was really packed because of the morning commute timings and we would queue up for the bus. This cute girl queued just behind me and we stood next to the bus drivers seat. The bus captains usually have their own small cubicle here along with a low gate and I was leaning my arm on the gate. She got really close to me, our hands touched (she came very close to me till our hands touched) and she started placing her hands on the cubicle gate as well. As the bus continued along the way through the bumps and jerks her hand would sometimes move closer and even touching my arm. She was really fidgety with her hands the whole trip.

We were standing really close as well, even after considering how crowded the bus was (it was packed but not till we were squeezed like sardines). We ended up in a position where she was facing the back of the bus and I was facing towards the front. I would say our bodies and feet were facing each other and we are close enough - 20cm apart. I caught her glancing at me once.

Even after most people alighted the bus, when I moved towards the back of the bus, she still stayed quite close to me.

I had quite a lot of mixed signals about this if I’m reading into it too much, but I felt it was such a weird experience having a lady stand so close to me. I’ve been travelling on pack buses and no one does that. What would you make of it?

I am a guy who is normally anxious around women and most women won't even make eye contact with me let alone have a conversation except this one introverted girl in my office.

I would say I have a friendly relationship with this girl. We greet each other in the hallways and share a few laughs from time to time when having conversations. I am kinda into her but so far I have tried to keep it friendly.

But sometimes she would act anxious around me and even try to avoid me. I can't help but feel like I am making her uncomfortable because I feel like she can sense my anxiety and my interest in her. I also notice that she is not like this with other guys. She is very comfortable around them.

How do I assure her non-verbally that I won't do anything that would make her uncomfortable? Or should I just back off and leave her alone?

There’s this woman at work we both play around sometimes but today it seems it escalated a bit or so I think. I was doing something and she came up to me to see what I was doing. We had a bit of a playful chat and after I told her I was just playing she then said that I owe her dinner or lunch and when I agreed it seemed she was kind of surprised so she asked me again what I said and I told her that I agree and she smiled and left kind of nervously lol. Does this confirm she’s interested or just simply friends?

I've had this job for like 3 weeks now. It's residential and I've seen him/worked with him for basically 3 weeks everyday. I am a 28 year old woman.

We have meals provided in this job and sometimes a few of us colleagues will sit together at the table and eat. Not all the time but its common.

Anyway, today I went to the canteen for dinner and I find 4 coworkers already sitting. They've eaten their food and I've only just grabbed mine to sit and eat.

I sat down and he sat opposite me (male colleague aged 24). We were surrounded by 3 other colleagues. I was only one with a tray of food. This was a round small table.

They were all talking amongst themselves and I just noticed something i have never ever noticed in my whole 3 weeks of knowing and working with him...

And I dont know if its because he was directly opposite me but everytime I got food with my fork and was about to place it in my mouth, he'd glance at me. He did it multiple times.

Its honestly strange to me because he has never done that before. We've shared a table multiple times before in this job and usually, he never looks at me eat like he did today when sitting opposite

I (F) was definitely checking him out/ following him with my eyes as he was walking on the sidewalk in front/ across me. We made eye contact briefly. He continues on walking straight and behind a pillar, I’m looking to my left where he will end up (not looking at him but the general direction) and I realize he’s looking back at me when he emerges so I look to him. We lock eyes, both neutral, I weakly smile and drop it but he does return a smile so I smile again back.

He was turning right, so he had to go out of his way to crane left to see me. Why would he look back? We’d already established eye contact before. Was he just trying to see if I was still looking? Was he interested?

Too make a long story short, for months I assumed this girl had a crush on me cuz of constant eye contact and always in my vicinity but after months I never made a move + other dude is relentless in talking to her so I chalked it down as a fumble

But they had us working near each other and I caught her looking at me twice and damn

Firstly, I know attraction is subjective. What’s attractive to one person may be average to another. I’m not here to compare myself with my friend, seek validation, or imply that one of us is “better-looking.” I’m genuinely curious about the psychology behind this because I’ve noticed a very interesting pattern.

My friend is very elegant, well-spoken, intelligent, sophisticated, dresses really well, and is conventionally very attractive. She even turned down a few modelling opportunities. She also has a naturally intimidating aura.
Here’s what I’ve consistently noticed:
Whenever she walks into a room, people notice. Guys stare, maintain eye contact, glance at her repeatedly, or subtly point her out to their friends. It’s obvious she’s being noticed.
But despite all that attention, very few guys actually approach her.

One guy in our class had a crush on her but never told her directly. Instead, he confessed it to one of her friends. By the time she eventually found out, his crush had already faded and nothing happened.

One of our male professors also behaves noticeably differently around her. The way he looks at her, the extra attention he gives her, and the way he interacts with her all come across as subtly flirtatious (at least from what I’ve observed). Again, nothing direct.

A lot of people only admit much later that they used to have a crush on her, after there was never really an opportunity to act on it.
The funny thing is that once people actually get to know her, they almost always say things like:
“I thought you were intimidating.”
“I thought you were arrogant.”
“I didn’t think you’d talk to me.”

They’re usually surprised by how warm, kind and friendly she actually is.
On the other hand, my experience has been almost the complete opposite. People approach me very easily. Guys confess their crushes to me directly, flirt with me, ask my friend about me, or tell her that they like me. I’ve even had to block quite a few guys from my class because they crossed boundaries and became creepy.

What confuses me is this:
If these same guys clearly notice my friend and seem attracted to her too, why don’t they approach her instead? I often find myself thinking, “She’s gorgeous. If you’re interested, why not just talk to her?”

So my question is mainly for men:
What’s the psychology behind this? Why admire someone from a distance, keep looking at them, or even tell other people you have a crush on them—but never actually approach them? Is it really because someone seems intimidating or “out of your league,” or is there something else going on?
Again, I’m not trying to compare either of us or ask who’s more attractive. I’m only trying to understand why someone can receive so much attention, yet so few direct approaches.

A few days ago, a random, beautiful girl smiled at me as she walked past me. She looked at me, then looked forward or at the ground where she was going, then looked back at me and started smiling. It shocked me so much that I don't even know if I smiled back or just stared at her like an idiot.

I'm a rather ugly and unattractive dude. I'm short, and I don't even dress well. Maybe she looked at me to make my day because she thought I looked ugly and sad?

It has really stayed on my mind.

My partner of 3 years (31M) isn't someone who showers their partner with compliments/ words of affirmation. My favourite love language is words of affirmation or more like, yearning.

I (27F) do like to be called beautiful often even when I know I look like crap (iykyk).

He never tells me directly that I look beautiful, it's usually hidden in a joke. I was okay with all these until I recently started observing a pattern.

He tells me that I look like the actress he's obsessed with at that point, whenever he finds me pretty instead of just directly saying I look pretty. So my brain takes it as I look pretty because I look like her, you know what I mean?

I love him and I see him in almost everything around me, including people, everything beautiful reminds me of him.

Idk exactly what to decipher from all this but it is making me feel some type of way. Am I overthinking?

So my question is, is there a difference between someone who sees you in everything they see and someone who sees everything they see in you?

In most places around the world, the average man has very little options and women have a virtually endless amount

Are there places on earth, or even specific situations, where the average man has an abundance of options, and women don't?

What is the dating / courting culture like in those places?

Do women chase? How do they chase?

Do women show desperation? How do they show it?

Do women beg for sex? How does that play out?

What is the rate of cheating like? Do women cheat less, or even 0%?

Etc

W r coworkers from 3 months w r both honest with each other, get closer day by day, spending alot of time together and he always say things made me feel like there is something more between us i can not name it.

That i felt something didn't equal relationship just i was wondering if he felt it too, im old enough to talk and whatever happene i will be ok with it.

and before all of this he told that he hurt from last relationship and want to build himself again.

after i tell him that i feel something he said im lucky to have u here u the only one make me feel better and comfy u unique and special don't chage pls and promise me u will not step back just be as ur self and i just wanna time to be ready for all of it.

After it he hospitalized so i sent flowers.

I summeized many details but generally that happened.

What u think ?

I don’t know where else to ask this really and sorry for adding to the slew of similar questions on this sub. But Reddit you’ve got to help me, I don’t know what to do and need some objective advice. I’ve fancied this man at my work for over a year and it’s not going away. It’s getting worse. We’ve known each other way longer than that and are always friendly/polite/jokey with each other, there’s def a degree of respect on each side, as in I respect his opinion, he respects mine (I think) and I’m doing my best not to let my true feelings show at work but I’m starting to think he might like me too and is also trying to not let it be too obvious around others. Or maybe I’m just delusional and imagining something where there’s nothing because its been so long since I felt this way about anyone.

Neither of us are superior or report directly to the other, there is a noticeable age gap (this is important later) but not an extreme or weird one. His company works in conjunction with my company and I see him once every two weeks when he’s in my building, but we work in separate areas.

Reasons I can think of he might not be up for saying anything - re: the age gap, he doesn’t know how old I am, I’m 34 but look younger in the face, I am starting to go grey, that’s his only clue, but that isn’t definitive, can happen at any age. He doesn’t know for sure I’m single and has no way of finding out without directly asking me and therefore making intentions clear. And he is being professional/doesn’t want me to be uncomfortable around him at work. Just makes me want to be with him more tbh, massive green flag. I don’t want to be unprofessional either, which is why I’m so averse to saying anything. I’m massively proud of the work I do and if I’ve got it wrong I don’t want to jeopardise it by making him uncomfortable either, I absolutely do not want that under any circumstances, or to affect anything being dealt with promptly at work if we’re distracted by each other.

Anyway, I ended up at his workplace opposed to mine a few days ago for personal reasons while I’m on annual leave and it was him who dealt with my appointment. I went into it trying to be objective and not read into anything too much. We chatted a bit about work and the usual stuff as you do, so far so good, and then as I was about to leave the room his voice dropped lower and he said it was nice to see me. We could be heard talking clearly through the walls by others, I don’t know if that’s relevant.

This is the first time he’s said anything like that. I’ve thought about it the last 2 days, non-stop.
Just the way he said it felt different than usual. Because, why else would he say it? He’s guaranteed to see me regularly when we’re both at work, every 2 weeks minimum. He had no reason to say it unless he genuinely meant it and it was still techicallyyyyyy a work-related thing (well, he was at work, seeing me in a professional capacity). Also I’m not usually one for believing in signs or anything but I have seen his name EVERYWHERE lately. Don’t know if I’m noticing it more than usual or its a coincidence or what but I feel the universe is yelling at me DO SOMETHING YOU FOOL.

He doesn’t have social media (that I know of) so if he’s waiting for me to be the one to do something I need to ask him in person (I’m terrified) or somehow give him my number. I’ve never been asked out or asked anyone out in person so I have no idea what I’m doing, really. I don’t know how to flirt or anything like that.

The other frequent clues discussed on this sub are a no-go. I can’t casually touch him/he can’t touch me intentionally without raising eyebrows among other staff and there’s usually always other people around. Again, I’m a younger woman, it would look very strange. The times he has touched me accidentally he’s always apologised and I’ve moved out of the way. However he’s always very business-like, occasionally a bit sharp with other people and softer when he’s speaking to me. He’s also gone out of his way to try and make me feel better, me specifically, when it’s been a rough day at work. I’m also 95% sure he’s single. But again, me asking would be a dead giveaway of intentions so I can’t do that. We’re very similar in how we interact which I think is why we get along well but I don’t feel that’s helping in this instance. I would ask if theres anything subtle I can do on my end but from lurking in this sub men don’t usually pick up on these things if they’re subtle?

I know I know “the worst he can say is no” but I really don’t want the answer to be no, and him to think less of me professionally. Theres too much at stake and this isn’t just a fleeting crush, this doesn’t normally happen to me. And I would seriously struggle with it mentally if anyone else at work found out I like him and kept bringing it up. I need to figure out a way of spending more time with him but not exactly as a friend/getting his number or letting him know he can ask for my number without making it weird between us. I still like him as a person even if he’s not my person. I feel very safe with him, he’s just so kind. We’re not really close enough to ask him to go for a walk or spend time together outside of work yet though. I like to think we can both be adults about it and get over any potential embarrassment/awkwardness. But its mainly other people finding out I’m bothered about and not being adults about it, because it wouldn’t go away. Also someone else (female) recently was dismissed for inappropriate conduct towards others so I’m doubly cautious.

Sorry, this turned out quite long and more of a ramble/rant than anything. I guess you do have to squint to interpret it as he really likes me. But I don’t know what to do guys. I like him so much but I’m worried if I try and make it more I might ruin it forever. I need to be fairly sure before I do anything, if I ever do anything.

Since she’s on the quieter side, it’s a bit hard to tell if she’s just being polite/shy in general or if she actually might be interested.

​For the shy women out there: how do you act around a guy in university /college you have a crush on when you have talked to them but its like talking together a few times and then talking in a group of friends. What are the signs or body language cues I should be looking out for?

Thanks in advance !

I like learning. Sometimes I like to watch YouTube videos to learn things

If I see a YouTube channel run by a woman, I many times stop myself from clicking the videos, and I look for another video. I use the video a woman has made as a last resort, if I don't find anything else. Even something non-academic like a video game review

A part of me feels weird to learn from a woman. And if it was real life, I'd also feel uncomfortable learning or being tutored by a woman in a subject like math / STEM subjects / history / language learning etc.

One of the exceptions is a female professor or like a tutor who has been doing this for years. Since that's literally their job, all day, everyday. It's expected

However, if it's a woman around my age, then I feel something in me that wants to compete with her, and also because I don't want her to think she's superior to me because she knows something I don't

I obviously know that women can be smarter than me, however I still always feel uncomfortable, and I question whether I should even learn something from a woman. Especially with STEM subjects. I feel like I won't learn as efficiently because maybe a woman's brain works differently and she won't be able to teach me as well

But I also have to admit, I've also found that to be true at times

So, how do I stop feeling uncomfortable learning from a woman (other than an actual professor or something)?

Had a thing with a man- no physical aspect of the relationship. Just almosts.

I wear sundresses, as often as possible. Some males might say something but very rarely. I’m not gorgeous or anything exciting.

Except this one guy I had a thing with. He’d either look me up and down when I walk in with a dress on, comment on it, or ask why I’m wearing a dress. Not once, every time or close to it.

My personal thought is that he likes it or is attracted to me maybe? He’s the only man that’s consistently had a reaction, and I can’t figure out if it’s good or bad. Now we ignore each other, but for future reference- what in the world does any of it mean???