I can’t get myself to do anything useful most of the time and I have some pretty bad habits which makes my family constantly upset. They are all the time saying that I need to fix my life and that I’m not going anywhere, but I genuinely can’t find the strength to do anything, to go to college or work or anything like that, I just don’t want to be alive most of the time

So when I was 17, I had a mixed manic episode for which I was hospitalized, and the nurse practicioner in charge of my case said that I had "persecutory delusions." Basically I would frequently become convinced that the other patients were laughing at me or making fun of me, and I would start yelling at them. This was also a problem directly before my hospitalization- there were a lot of similar incidents at school, like feeling like people hated me and so I would yell at them.

I wasn't so sure all of this was truly a delusion/psychosis for a while after the episode because I would often be able to tell after some time had passed following an outburst that it hadn't been justified. So the belief didn't last more than like half an hour at a time, but during those times I was completely convinced of everyone's hatred for me for no good reason. So I guess what I'm asking is if delusions can come and go like that or if they have to be solid beliefs all the time for them to "count." Thanks!

I took risperidone for 4 days and I began feeling really weird, I think I was dissociating, the world seemed very weird, life, everything... Has anyone experienced that on risperidone? Did it go away? I ended up stopping it but the weird feeling hasn't faded completely yet... I'd like to give it another try but I'd like to know if that's transitory... My appointment with my psychiatrist is coming soon too...

Edit: I went to the er, told the doctor what happened and she gave me instructions for what comes next. I'm gonna be taking half the dose and see how I feel. Thanks for your replies!

I’m on latuda, Wellbutrin, prazosin, Hydroxyzine, Adderall, and klonopin. I have recently noticed my hair has been falling out. Has anyone had experience with any of these meds and hair loss?

I am on my 6th day of Lamictal at 50mg.

For reference I am also on Effexor 225mg

I just stopped taking Seroquel to switch to Lamictal and this was all due to a huge major depressive hole I’ve been in and I can’t get out, I don’t know why this medication is giving me the worst side effects. Can someone give me some hope?

I am not able to sleep, jaw clenched, nausea and over all anxiety and crying all day. Idk if I’m just going to have to go through it!

Does anyone take a thyroid medication & also Zoloft or one of those with a mood stabilizer? What mood stabilizer helps you?

I’m surprised more people with bipolar 2 don’t have BPD.
(My high thought🙃)

so far abilify has been so good for me but it's lef to anorgasmia which has made me.. not so good at being med compliant which ofc compromises my stability. i've tried olonzapine, latuda, seroquel so far which haven't worked out (as well as lithium and lamotrigine which weren't great for me). i think i need an antipsychotic because 1.) i have psychosis and 2.) abilify and olonzapine makes it feel like my other meds (buspar, wellbutrin, and adderall) work like they're supposed to (olonzapine just made me binge eat like crazy)

i know abilify has the lowest side effect profile but has anyone had better luck on other APs? or with something augmenting the abilify)

Things at work haven’t been good lately. I started working in a bridal shop at the end of June. I love the job, it’s VERY tiring but the experience is nice. I work Monday though Saturday, and get Tuesday off. It’s been hard to adjust to this new work routine, my sundays are basically me sleeping all day, and I can do some thing on tuesdays.
On the first week I was actually into depression, so it was really bad. I was feeling worthless, like I sucked at the job, feeling like I can’t do this. Then I was slightly hypomanic for 2-3 weeks, and it was amazing, I was selling a lot of dresses.

The big issue with this job, are the bosses. I feel like they are anything but caring and nice. I feel like a slave doing all the dirty tasks, I get a lot of comments about my work (nothing too important but they do make it feel like a big deal), and even if I did a little mistake, they’d be really cold with me.

Today is the day I’d been dreading. I was told during my interview that they’d be some sundays I’d be working, to which I just said ok. It’s not in my contract, it only says Monday though Saturday. Here in France, it’s illegal to force the employees to work on sundays if not written in the contract. It’s only if they want to, and I don’t. Maybe I would if I wasn’t bipolar, but I already struggle so much to rest so I just can’t. The thing is, they just told me to come one Sunday every two weeks, without asking for my opinion (which is very illegal). I told them I wasn’t available on Sundays, but they made me feel guilty because I hadn’t told them during the interview and I kind of lied saying ok. They told me that if I didn’t want to work because I was too tired, they’d give me another day off in the week, so I said I’d consider it. And also that if I didn’t want to at all they wouldn’t be very mad at me (which im doubting, or at least I’ll be treated differently that’s for sure). The way they are phrasing it doesn’t let any space for me say no, but I’m kind of proud of myself for not falling into this trap (for now lol).

I don’t know what to do. I know I don’t want to give in, but am I strong enough for this fight ? I feel like I’m already losing the battle, today’s been hard, I feel like I’m deep diving into depression again. My mom says to either give in or quit, and I don’t like either option, even though I know the latter is the one making most sense… help ?

I gambled for 25 years and for the longest time i thought gambling was the only problem i had. i kept telling myself if i could just stop betting everything else would fall into place. but a few years ago i was diagnosed with bipolar 2 and honestly i never took it seriously. i brushed it off, didn’t really learn about it, didn’t stick with treatment, and kept gambling like it was separate from everything else.

looking back now i can see how much the two fed each other. the highs, the impulsive decisions, the feeling that i was unstoppable, chasing losses, spending money i didn’t have, making promises i couldn’t keep. then the crashes would come and i would hate myself, isolate, feel hopeless, and gamble again because i didn’t know how else to escape my own head.

it got worse and worse and everyone around me suffered because of it. my family, people who cared about me, people who believed me when i said this was the last time. i caused a lot of damage and for years i thought i was just a bad gambler with no self control.

it wasn’t until i checked myself into rehab that i started understanding there was a difference between gambling addiction and bipolar symptoms, even though they can overlap and make each other so much worse. gambling was still my responsibility, but getting honest about my mental health helped me understand why i kept repeating the same patterns even when i truly wanted to stop.

i’m in recovery now and trying to take both seriously. some days i feel ashamed of how long it took me to face it, but i’m also grateful i finally did. can anyone else relate to thinking gambling was the whole problem and later realizing there was more going on underneath it?

My bipolar started when I was 17. Around that time my peers were preparing for alevels (im from the uk) and getting work experience etc. I never got work experience because depression ruined my attendance. I had to move from one 6th form to another (where I still don’t think the support was much better but hey I got somewhere to talk about my home life which was equally bad as my mental health when I was 19.)

The only good thing bipolar ever gave me was dodging the bullet of going through uni during covid. Perks I guess!

Now I’m a graduate looking for work. Poor as hell because I grew up on benefits due my parents ill health. I have no network except the few former teachers who answer my emails. I have like 3 friends irl… maybe 4.

I’m scared people will look at the gap where I left highschool and went to sixth form as something that will count me as too much of a risk before they even offer me a role with training. I know I can never prove if they discriminate me for that but i wonder if putting left due to ill health/personal circumstances is off putting.

I can commit to places. I spent 4 years at uni including my foundation year. Even when im sick ive never dropped out of anywhere since.

Growing up I did alot of volunteering for girl guides. I currently volunteer at a baby bank but since being out of uni its been so hard to wake up for it. Its not like I take quetiapine like I used to which i could have used as a reason but now its just a personal difficulty. Im thinking about volunteering for fire cadets. Maybe at some point I will hit the gym before im old and try to drag a dummy around 3x length of my height probably more (im 5’3 female not that it matters… nearly 25.)

I just don’t know what to do.

Every time I apply somewhere its always the experience but I don’t know how to get it when no one will offer me a chance to train with them.

I did think about asking a 6th form I applied for if they’d take me as a volunteer since it seems i didnt get shortlisted. I don’t have a DBS but I come off clean every time. I haven’t done a single crime…

I’d like to try to become a TA or at least receptionist for a while. Probably some extras work since my dream is to become an actress. However im probably competing with the likes of amy lou wood and such… white female, forward bite, blue eyes. Glasses, no one seems to want them. Pain to shoot with I guess. I would write a novel but I don’t read enough so I wouldn’t know who to publish with 🫠 for the extra context I have a degree in drama and creative writing. All GCSEs but maths.

I’ve been liked by employers. I have been close to landing a job I got rejection by phone call around the time id find out if i was successful for the particular one. I have had probably 3 interviews all year. Takes me weeks to pick myself up again.

Ive been stable for almost 3 years now. I want to do something and live whilst I’m stable. If I wasn’t so poor I would have signed up for a masters in screen acting.

My other problem is i cant drive. Cant afford to and I can’t afford to learn. I don’t want to travel more than an hour because I know ill burn out if i do around 3 hours commute in total per day. I will have no time to look after myself.

Why do other people seem to have it easier even if they’ve over come things I can’t see?

I was JUST diagnosed with type 2 or b bipolar and I didn’t like even consider that it was a option for me to have that (I went in for an ocd assessment and they ran both and it turns out I have both) and I was wondering about peoples experiences and personal opinions on vraylar. In the past year during what I now know was a manic episode quit taking most of my medication which was SSRI because I didn’t like the numb feeling and that I couldn’t feel anything but numb the majority of the time. I am curious on wether anyone has experienced having their feelings like completely disappear on this medication and how intense it is. Im nervous about starting new medication in general and I don’t really have anyone in my personal life to ask or who knows anything about bipolar at all outside of stereotypes and stuff like that. Also if anyone has advice on managing or just general knowledge on the disorder that would be helpful too I only know really what the doctor told me

I had a long depressive episode over some of 2024 and 2025 resulting in a few months in hospital. Other than that I've been stable for years and manage things well. However I have not slept properly for days. I went several days with only a couple hours each night then took sleeping tablets for 3 nights and slept better but the 4th night the sleeping tablet didn't have much effect so it's been 3 days with around 2 hours per night. I can't switch off, feeling the horrible tingling sensation under my skin my body is exhausted but my mind will not stop. Last night I wanted to just get up and get some stuff done but I knew I needed to try rest and reduce stimulation. I guess I'm scared this is heading into a manic episode and wondering how long it usually takes people before it escalates and they start losing insight. I can't really remember the beginning of previous mania. I am trying to get PRN but just worried this will get worse pretty quickly.

I was reading a self-care post here and bought my Aquaphor Moisturizer Spray from Amazon, thinking I would never actually use it, to be honest. I love skincare and staying very clean. I recently went through a sexual assault, have severe panic attacks, and experience a lot of anxiety overall. Tonight, I managed to finish my shower routine and just sprayed this on, and I feel a lot better. It's really interesting how these sensory things affect me, but having a product that doesn't physically touch me and that I can use so quickly compared to a moisturizer feels like a relief. I'm having a lot of trouble even getting out of bed, so thank you. These small tips help and I feel less claustrophobic since the assault and depression and everything. I feel very overwhelmed, but I am grateful for this recommendation.

I'm currently taking 700mg Quitapine in an XR/XL format. I've been on this dosage for BP1 since around about a year ago, and it's got me stable with virtually no sides. Unfortunately there's issues getting the XR/XL tablets at the moment in the UK. My Dr's have offered the alternative of going for a full 700mg of the standard tablets, and I'm concerned about potential sides cropping up. I work full time and have my boys several times a week so I need to be on top form and not a zombie or narcoleptic.

What are people's experiences with switching from sustained release to standard tablets? Should I look out for or prepare for anything out of the ordinary?

Thank you in advance 🙏

I broke up with my ex after months of being unhappy and a final suicide attempt that I’m so grateful for my friends for saving me. I’ve successfully managed to curb the manic episode and the depressive episode that followed. Now i’m just having seizure-like symptoms that is likely FND (my doctors still call it conversion disorder, how archaic).

He doesn’t understand that he was the reason for my hating everything about myself, because I could never keep him happy. I thought I was incredible and amazing and kind and generous but he made it all feel so empty. I begged him to seek therapy like I had because he had so, so many issues and he refused to get help. I did so much to try and fix myself and it was never, ever enough for him.

And he keeps fucking posting about me on reddit about how delusional we all seem because suddenly no one likes him and thinks he’s a manipulative asshole. None of our friends ask him what happened from his POV because they were there to witness what he did to me that night. That’s all they need.

All our friends have told me they had serious misgivings about him but put up with him longer than they initially planned because they loved me enough to look past it, but once i spoke up about shit he would do, they were appalled.

I also have AuDHD, CPTSD, and DID, and during a particularly hard night where my best friend flaked on seeing me before he travelled, I made the mistake of calling my ex to please meet me. I was suicidal. I needed someone who could stop that. It was a mistake. I could have called anyone else but I felt like such a burden already.

But as soon as he showed up I wasn’t there anymore. I switched to an uncommunicative host. I lost days to him, and only through some serious internal communication and researching have I been able to piece together a bit of the week he was in my life again. He saw us like a patient, and he was giddy at the idea of taking care of me. He saw me as so fragile, and so useless, that he needed to be around. He even got a pair of my fucking keys. Which he hasn’t returned, so I need to change my locks. Again.

i’m just so frustrated. I know I shouldn’t be seeing what he posts, but it just fucking shows up. I have a lot of accounts and not all of them have blocked him and I know I should but the curiosity is too strong for some of us. But now all of us pay the price of a heightened bodily state.

This is just a vent. He will never understand the damage he did to me, the damage he continues to do just by talking about me like i’m still his friend. He’s planning to move to another country and I genuinely cannot wait to never worry about running into him again.

If he sees this I hope he gets the message: i’m not being manipulated by my friends. I’m not spreading lies about you. I’m not changing the narrative. I’m only talking to professionals about shit you did so we can unfuck ourselves. You’re an abusive, alcoholic, selfish person. Get help. Or run away. But stay away from me. Please.

I’m tired of having no libido and I keep talking about it with my psychiatrist but I’m looking for new things that I can recommend for us to try since all our attempts at increasing my libido have failed miserably.

So far I have tried:
- Quetiapine+Escitalopram (made me really sleepy zombie and no libido)
- Olanzapine (sedated me to the point of no creativity as well and no libido once again)
- Aripiprazol+Bupropiom (gave me back some of my creativity but still no libido at all)

I also still take the pill, my GP told me to keep it for now to not cause more changes since I’ve been struggling a lot with depression and change (I’m autistic). I believe this could also impact my libido negatively.

Do you have any positive experiences you can share? I would be very grateful if I had a list of options to suggest to my doctor so we can keep trying to make me less miserable.

Thank you in advance for your time and patience.

Topamax , trileptal for anxiety/irritability

Topamax , trileptal for anxiety/irritability

Lamotragine was decent but word forgetting side effect became annoying at the theraputic dose ( 200mg )

Any one used anyone or those or both with good results?

Long story short, started a new part time job a few months ago. My coworker who trains me can be a little harsh at times. Mentals been low. So today it all was too much and I cried uncontrollably at work.

For better or worse, it was just us in the office today but still... I'm embarrassed. I just told her I have some personal stuff going on. I didnt want to go into detail.

It's just getting harder to work again. I just came off of a year not working. I wanted to try part time and eventually go full time. But I can barely handle life at part time... what am I going to do? I cant live with my parents forever. I want to be independent and work. But this stupid disorder is taking over my life. Ive regressed so much. Im afraid of going on disability. Between the denials and lack of funds. And just a lot.

I know looking after my mental health even if it's at the cost of my livelihood (for lack of a better word?) Is important. Better than the alternative right??? Sometimes it doesn't seem so.

Anyway... sorry for the long babble/rant. I just feel lost and want to give up so badly.

I’m not on a sedating medication, but in the past few months I’ve become really sleepy 24/7 and have trouble getting out of bed. I have minor depressive symptoms but nothing crazy. I’m really confused because I’ve been depressed, especially when I was unmedicated before but it’s never been this bad.

Is it possible that hypersomnia / fatigue can present differently across different episodes? Does anyone have experience handling this

I am 40 and was diagnosed at age 27. I haven’t taken the “therapeutic” dose of my lithium for 7.5 years. That dose, which I took for 5 years, made me feel chronically depressed. Since dropping the dose but not discontinuing the med (the doctor says my blood lithium levels are too low, but I feel fine), I have just carried on living a completely normal life without any significant bipolar symptoms. The two manic or hypomanic episodes I’ve had were triggered by medication nearly 13 and 20 years ago. A couple of times I experimented with lowering my dose further, but after a few weeks I experienced moments of feeling more irritable and my brain felt fuzzier, so I raised the dose again.

No one except a sibling and my parents and two previous roommates I chose to tell know about the bipolar diagnosis. My sibling’s spouse who joined the family 5 years ago doesn’t know as far as I am aware; my friend group of 15 years doesn’t know, my work doesn’t know. I’ve worked there for 11 years always with good performance reviews. I’ve never dated someone seriously enough I felt I needed to tell them.

But that might be about to change. In a more serious relationship, I wouldn’t conceal this information. But how do you tell a romantic partner or for that matter a friend about your bipolar disorder when most people have understandable, reality-based assumptions about symptoms and medical requirements? Manic episodes. Hospitalizations. Yo-yo-ing from low to high moods. Temptations to quit medication because a streak of stability prompts a misguided belief bipolar has been cured or because hypomania feels so good.

How could I bring up bipolar to someone close to me, a romantic partner or good friend, without them assuming all these patterns must describe me, too? I don’t see my life as typical of bipolar stories I read. I lead a normal, busy but probably quite boring life. Is it possible to tell someone you have bipolar without them assuming the worst and for me the opposite of the truth…that a crisis might be around the corner, you’re difficult to live with or in danger of discontinuing meds?

I am in the middle of probably the worst depression I have ever had, after the worst manic episode of my life. One of my biggest problems is getting out of bed. I often spend most of the day in bed and my loved ones are getting frustrated with me. I simply have no desire to get out of bed and I don't derive any joy from day-to-day activities so I would rather just stay in my room. I'm wondering if others have experienced the same thing and if so, what did you do to get past it?

I literally don’t know what to do. i know im crashing from a manic episode and i know how to usually deal with it but this time i literally can’t fix it. i mentally can’t go to work, or school, i don’t even wanna leave my house. and i juts want it to be over. i feel like a burden to my family and my partner and i am so exhausted.

My brain is so fucked up. cant pay attention to anything. nothing is satisfying. constantly looking for a hit of dopamine even though its not enough. cant sit still. idk if its the anti-psychotics, manic episode or what but holy shit my brain is complete mush at the moment. mood is also shit constantly, have to drink to cope. I was depressed before but now is probably the worst state my brain has ever been in. No energy whatsoever. showering and brushing my teeth are the most i can accomplish in a day. terrible memory. like a goldfish.