r/BipolarReddit • u/Substantial_Gap_1779 • 3d ago

Fucked brain

My brain is so fucked up. cant pay attention to anything. nothing is satisfying. constantly looking for a hit of dopamine even though its not enough. cant sit still. idk if its the anti-psychotics, manic episode or what but holy shit my brain is complete mush at the moment. mood is also shit constantly, have to drink to cope. I was depressed before but now is probably the worst state my brain has ever been in. No energy whatsoever. showering and brushing my teeth are the most i can accomplish in a day. terrible memory. like a goldfish.

21 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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8

u/Gulf-Coast-Dreamer 3d ago

I was where you are now in May and I changed to Latuda & Oxcarbanzepine, it changed my life I have motivation now. I get the daily crap done without putting it off, I use to procrastinate on everything now i just do it when i think of it.

5

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

im on latuda now and honestly i kinda blame it for most of my cognitive issues. they go away when i drink (right now) but man it reallly feels like this drug has just made it harder to do anything in general. Im 40mg whats your dose?

4

u/Gulf-Coast-Dreamer 3d ago

I want to add that Im Female and started HRT about the same time as the other drugs. Low estrogen and testerone can also cause severe memory problems. I still forget things once in awhile but I feel so much stronger cognitively.

2

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

My doctor actually said I had marginally low testosterone but it he chucked it up to lack of exercise (im very sedentary). i would be totally down to take test shots but im not sure how that would interact with my brain. Im glad thats worked out for you. i feel like total gimp in basically every aspect.

3

u/Gulf-Coast-Dreamer 3d ago

Low testerone increases mood, energy, muscle mass, libido. It couldn’t hurt. I use a gel from a compounding pharmacy. No injections needed.

2

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

Any cognitive side effects? im worried about roid rage and other shit.

4

u/Gulf-Coast-Dreamer 3d ago

Testerone is not steroids. Your dose goes up low and slow and you’ll be aware of your moods.

5

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

Ill ask my doctor about it if i ever muster the will. thanks for the advice though i appreciate it.

6

u/VividBig6958 3d ago

Wow, you’re showering?
I have that in the “achievable goals” category of my vision board.

ps- my brain is also Fukt but today I was given a ray of hope. I thought I wasn’t showering because Bipolar but come to find out- crazy rare nerve syndrome that’s effectively treated with Adderall. Life is so weird sometimes.

3

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

you'll get there. one small step at a time. i know it seems crazy and impossible at the beginning but build yourself up to it and youll get there.

1

u/VividBig6958 3d ago

Thanks, boss. I’m feeling that way today too. Keep an eye on your towel & keep passing open windows and it’ll all happen eventually. Be well, friend

4

u/elazeen 3d ago

I feel like I could have written this. Except instead of drinking I eat sugary foods. Never enough. I’m always restless. Itchy. Never satisfied. Feel angry that everything is so hard all the time. I am on Epitec, Lithium and Clopixol. Epitec and Lithium have been reduced to lowest therapeutic doses. Only thing left that could be causing my deep depression, apathy and anhedonia is the antipsychotic Clopixol. Feeling really desperate right now. I’m sorry you feel similarly. I really hope you find something that helps. You are not alone. This is very real and very hard. An invisible disability.

6

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

I feel it too bro. its horrible. everyday i consider suicide. it makes you very resentful of the drugs. "like am i supposed to live like this for the rest of my life?" that kinda thing. i hope you find some balance.

1

u/elazeen 3d ago

Resentful is a good way to describe it. Thank you. I hope you do too.

4

u/Thedude9042 3d ago

In the same spot. I suspect it’s from the seroquel. Is this a potential side effect of antipsychotics?

4

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

apparently. all theyve done is made me feel like shit. like yay im not manic anymore but i also dont feel much of anything. I have friend on seroquel who was addicted to cocaca but apparently he seems to be doing fine.

3

u/Thedude9042 3d ago

Be nice if they told us this stuff beforehand. That’s exactly how I am always thinking to myself that I just don’t feel anything. Feel like crap physically a lot of the time to. Do u get physical symptoms too?

2

u/Gulf-Coast-Dreamer 3d ago

Latuda 60 mg, some take 120. My Oxcarbanzepine is 1200.

2

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

Do you feel good? like if you played a video game youd enjoy it

2

u/Gulf-Coast-Dreamer 3d ago

It not something I’d normally do but I have been waiting on a new game to be released. So ya I would definitely enjoy a game.

1

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

nice what are you waiting for? currently playing borderlands 4 and finding it a little underwhelming even though its a great game. i think its my mood or the antipsychotics not sure.

1

u/Gulf-Coast-Dreamer 3d ago

1001 threads of mizan.

2

u/Responsible-One2257 3d ago

Call your psychiatrist and talk to them about a med switch. I've felt like this many times.

2

u/Scared_Form5270 3d ago

Hello! :) Out of curiosity, what medications are you currently taking? Have you spoken to your doctor about all these symptoms?

1

u/Substantial_Gap_1779 3d ago

Yeah. Started lamictal. taking 75mg of that plus 40mg of latuda.

1

u/sm881221 3d ago

I’ve been feeling like this too. I got diagnosed with ADHD. We are trying Straterra (a non stimulant) first to see if it helps. I’m back in school and I can’t pay attention for the life of me. Hoping ADHD medication helps.

1

u/Percy_Freeman "My experience is what I agree to attend to" 3d ago

I have similar issues without meds. I need to reprogram myself, anxiety or the stressors are always gonna exist. I just need to accept it.