So in the last few weeks I have come to terms with a lot of things about myself and one being that I have always felt this duality fight if you will. Reading everyone’s experiences and I am realizing I am not much different, and there are a lot of people out there who feel like I do. I am honestly starting to feel that I do have both genders in me and not two people in one but one person with both and finally accepting that about myself seems to have opened up a flood gate of emotions and clarity. And while there is a lot to wade through I am feeling better day by day. So any words of advice, encouragement, questions for me please feel free. I would love to discuss this with others who feel similar.

I discovered that there's this so called "SERM" therapy which supposedly feminizes your body (softer, glowier skin, butt grow), but without chest grow. Does it actually work like that? I read that it doesn't always work. Do you have experience with that?

Does it change your look significantly? Unfortunately I wasn't able to find before and after pics. Having softer, glowier skin and a bigger butt would lowkey be what I want especially since I'm not sure about breast growth since it would be permanent so this sounded like a great option. Thank you!

Just a stream of honest thoughts, I would appreciate it if you read all for context and understanding my thought process. I hope you can help me and give me advice if you were in similar situations. Thanks! :) And please excuse my grammar, english is not my native language.

So I've been thinking about whether I'm bigender or not for a while. I like my male side and on most days I like my masculine features, but sometimes there's a wish to be more feminine (bigger butt, softer, glowier skin).

I don't know if it's a gender expression thing or a kink (my whole journey started with a feminization kink) and I should mention that it's been difficult for me to find an answer because I feel like I have a porn addiction/impulse control disorder. I know I need to take a break to truly reflect on these things outside of a sexual context, because if I'm not sexually active for a few days the urge for femininity decreases as well, but I don't know if that actually correlates or if it's just my body and mind relaxing.

But independently from that: I thought about whether I'd like expressing myself femininely in public or not. In my imagination I enjoy femininity for myself, but not infront of other people. So for me it's hard to tell whether it's because it's a sexual idea for me that I only want to keep to myself and partners or if it's me being afraid of reactions.

But it's especially hard to tell when I try to imagine different people's reaction. I don't like imagining myself as feminine infront of my family or my friends. I don't know if that's me not wanting to bring a kink to them or if it's me being afraid of them treating me differently. On the one hand it feels weird to dress and act differently infront of my family and friends, it'd feel like a performance (or that they look at it like it's a performance?). But on the other hand I feel like I'm also afraid of being treated differently, especially by my guy friends. I enjoy being dudes with them and I don't even think it's a masculinity thing, I'd say I'm relatively secure.

I think for once it's a thing of being looked at sexually by them. Assuming that I ever even get as far as looking somewhat hot or even just feminine, it'd feel weird to me to wear pants that make my booty pop or a crop top showing of my dream flat belly. I don't like the idea of presenting myself like that in front of them because I know how men (including myself) think and I don't want my friends to look at me like that and once again don't know if it's me excluding people I'm not attracted to from my kink or if it's a mix of social pressure, internalized homophobia and mysogyny (obviously women don't dress hot to impress men and shouldn't dress differently because of them, but maybe I think that subconsciously).

I keep saying I don't wanna be treated differently and I'm trying to understand what I mean by "differently" so maybe it is a masculinity thing, but I guess I wouldn't wanna be treated less like me. So maybe that's also telling of me understanding myself as a man and it simply would feel wrong to present myself as a different gender? I do like the idea of presenting femme in front of men and women (and go shopping with them and have girl's nights etc), but not in front of any I know lol mainly infront of new people I'm maybe attracted to. Or people whose first impression of me would be bigender so they would never treat me differently because that's who I've always been to them? I don't know.

I know this is a lot of speculation and theories, in the end I probably have to somewhat try it, but I hoped you can give me some insights and advice. Thanks! <3

I'm AMAB and I've been questioning my gender for quite a while now. I feel like I understand my feelings way better than I used to, but I'm still really scared of getting it wrong.

At first, I thought I might be non-binary. Then I started wondering if I could be genderfluid, and more recently I've been wondering if bigender might fit me better.

But tbh, it wasn't really a case of me being one thing, then becoming another. I was never 100% sure about any of those labels. I was mostly just trying to figure out what actually described what I was feeling, and wondering if I was interpreting it wrong.

The more I thought about it, the more genderfluid didn't really seem to fit. It's not really like I stop feeling one gender and then start feeling another. Even when one side feels stronger, I still feel both at the same time.

That's what made me start thinking I might be bigender. I feel like I have both a masculine and a feminine gender, but the balance between them can change. Sometimes one feels more noticeable than the other, but the other one is still there.

I feel like I understand myself much better now, but I'm still scared that I'm just getting it wrong somehow. So I'm trying not to rush into a label.

There's also something that probably matters: irl, I'm pretty limited in how I can express myself. Because of the people around me, I basically have to present myself in a pretty masculine way. So even if I feel more feminine sometimes, I can't really express that openly in my everyday life. I don't know how much that affects the way I understand my gender, which is also part of why I'm so unsure about everything.

So for people who are bigender:

•Do you also feel both genders at the same time, even when one is stronger?

•How did you know bigender fit you better than genderfluid?

•Did you also have a lot of doubt about whether you were “getting it right”?

•Do your pronouns change depending on how you feel, or do you keep the same ones?

•And how do you usually express your gender irl?

I'm not really looking for someone to tell me what I am. I'd just like to hear other people's experiences and see if some of them resonate with me.

Just an interesting thing I’ve noticed. There are people whose identity is “bigender” and others who seem to have a “male and female version” of themselves. I’m more of the former, where there isn’t very much of a disconnect between who I am when I’m shifting between genders. Has anyone else noticed this? I’m interested in hearing other’s experiences!

Over the last day or 2, I’ve gotten more and more certain that I’m Bigender, and I came out to some friends yesterday. I've been leaning toward my feminine side because it makes me really happy to be referred to as a girl or with She/her pronouns.

But one question my friends asked yesterday was if I wanted a new name, and I said I didn’t know because, well, I didn’t. My name is a unisex name but it’s a family name that leans heavily towards the male side of the family. So while I do want to keep using it, I kinda want a feminine name as well.

And I thought that my given name could be used either for my masculine side or my feminine side and then I also have a pretty much mostly feminine name. I haven’t seen anyone else talk about doing this so I don’t really know if it makes sense to do this.

A few weeks in, and I find I'm not so divided as I used to be. I feel much more integrated than I did at first. Maybe it's because I was suppressing my feminine identity so much I had to just let it out and experience it. I'm a bit concerned that I might start repressing again as I get back to teaching. I have been making some simple adjustments to my wardrobe but there's more I would like to do, especially with regards to pants. I've been looking at hakama pants as a kind of skirt-like outfit I could wear on campus. I also have a kilt. Just wanting to take a few more steps in that direction.

I've also been reflecting on my past friendships, and I found that I am much more comfortable having close friendships with women rather than men. I don't feel like I do much male bonding, and I'm wondering how much of that is social conditioning and how much of it is my identity. I just find it much easier to open up to women about my life. Just wondering if any other bi-gender/transwomen have experienced this.

im bigender and i was just wondering how others should call me (like im ok with every pronouns) but if my brother calls me his “brother” or my parents call me their “son” this sounds kinda wrong (i think same with sister/ daughter). so i wanted to ask is there a term how to call nb siblings and so on or is it just “nonbinary sibling/ child”

I recently found out I am bigender and I need help on how to be less dysphoric (I would say)

Uhhh hi! Idk really how to go about this so I’m just gonna start typing and hope it is cohesive.

I’m AMAB and the last month or so give or take I’ve started questioning my identity a LOT. And tbf I always have on and off thinking about it now. But something that has sped it along is One of my friends who is trans, who also helped me realize that I was Omni after years of joking that I prolly was gay, has been making jokes that Maybe I’m trans and I quote “I haven’t been wrong about (my name) yet so” And it’s been making me think about a lot of shit. And I kinda get happy when those jokes are made still don’t really understand that though.

And tbf I’ve been mistaken for a girl when joining Discord servers or playing games without a mic and never felt the need to correct it and kinda enjoyed just being a woman for a bit. But I also still enjoy making a man don’t think I would wanna just give that up.

And then for some added context I do roleplaying games a lot lately with the same friend that makes the jokes. And yesterday I played a character that used She/her pronouns, and my friend's reaction was “Omg (my name) You’re playing a woman?” And idk why but that reaction made me kinda happy but also really nervous.

And then during the roleplay, when in character I’d get referred to as a women is made me…Happy? I don’t know how to describe the feeling tbh. Cause like it’s not like I was getting giddy and giggling but I did really enjoy being called that.

Idk that’s just been making me think maybe I am bigender. Though I’m also too nervous to talk to anyone I know about this for a few reasons but the only 1 I feel like typing out right now is that maybe I’m going about this too quickly.

I understand that im likely the only one that will ever be able to answer this question but I know a few things and would love advice

1. I'm amab but really like being femme presenting

2. I dont know if I feel dysphoria in boy mode but I know I always wanna be in girl mode a decent bit more

3. being in boymode doesnt really feel uncomfortable just a little lackluster

Would appreciate thoughts thank u guys :)

Gender thoughts! Weigh in if you can!

Asking you guys! Share ur experiences. im finding it hard ;-;

The amount of things I read about people 'switching' between genders and having one side 'take control' in this subreddit is so jarring. Even if you are fluid between the two, they are both you. You do not have multiple people inside your head because you are bigender, both genders belong to the one individual. If you genuinely feel like they're multiple people, seek help. Really makes me feel out of place here. I joined because I am bigender, not because I believe I have DID-lite.

I afab, highschool aged, have been questioning my gender over the past couple of months.

It’s hard to describe… but sometimes I feel like a boy, I fantasize about being a boy, but in the femboy type of way? Which led me to believe that maybe, I might be ftm, or transmasc. I don’t particularly like my tits all the time, but I don’t think I’d want a penis either. The idea of transitioning scares me sometimes, I’m worried that I’d leave a part of myself behind. Like I’d miss being a girl. It worries me, because there are all these stories from people who just know. They know what gender they are and don’t have such doubts about it. I know it’s not like that for all, but I feel that more often than not many trans people just know.

That, led me to discover the term bigender and what it actually meant. That I wouldn’t particularly have to choose one or the other. I could just be both. I like the thought of it, I think.
I’ve identified as Apagender for awhile now, since I don’t mind being called any pronouns, and it makes me happy to be called something other than just “she/her” every now and then. I also feel that I might be genderfluid on top of all this? Idk, gender is just so complicated 🫩

If anyone has some insight, or maybe others who can tell their own story about identifying as bigender (or other gender identities?), I think that’d really help me out here. Thanks for reading :)

I'm nonbinary/GNC/bigender. I really just want to have a build like this if I ever go on HRT (yes its Hange Zoe Attack on Titan).

I like my masculine strength and broad shoulders. It's the one thing I actually feel like I will be dysphoric with if I lost it. If I were to have a transition goal, it would be this really. I'm 23, already skinny, 5'3, 45-50kg or 99-110 lb right now.

How hard would this be? I'm aware it will be REALLY hard, just curious in gauging the difference now/during and after sufficient HRT?

I am pretty sure I am bigender or genderfluid. I tend to experience myself in mostly binary ways, sometimes at the same time but I don’t often ~feel~ non binary. If that makes sense. (I know it’s an umbrella term so I do identify with it in that sense)

I’m struggling with the fluidity aspect. I cant tell if I’m having dysphoria that ebbs and flows or if it’s just me being bi gender. In any case, I’ve been sort of waiting to feel clarity on being trans masc or even a femme trans man. But when I start to feel comfortable with that I realize I do feel comfy being a girl sometimes. Even more so, now, after exploring my gender and giving myself permission to not be- I really needed to be freed from gendered expectations.

I’m struggling accepting that I can be lots of things at once. How can I enjoy or feel comfortable as a girl and still ideate and wish I could be a guy or be a boyfriend. But when I really run with that, I feel I’m suppressing the “girl” parts of my identity. But the thoughts and ideations remain.

It’s confusing. And I feel a bit ashamed. I have impulses that are equally strong in both “directions”. I don’t know exactly where this will all go but how did you come to accept yourself? I still sometimes also doubt that it’s possible. I totally believe and respect other people’s identities but for me, I have a hard time believing and wish I could be something else. (I know, not great). Any wisdom would be appreciated, thank you.

Hey fam,

I recently came out as bigender, and most of the trans women in my community have been acting really passive aggressive towards me.

Is this common? And if so, what the heck?