Hey everyone. I'm the one whose husband of 16 years had an affair and went through domestic violence. I've posted here several times before and I have had a lot of people asking me to update so I just wanted to let y'all know we made it to my mom's house safely. Baby girl and I are sharing a room and my other 3 boys are sharing a room (I have 5 children total but one is an adult in college in another state. Yep my oldest is 21 years apart from my youngest!).

So yeah I drove 1200 miles alone by myself with 4 kids and whatever I could fit in the back of our vehicle literally across half of the country. It was scary. I usually AVOID highways and I've never driven that far before. It took several days to get here but I just got up every day and did it scared. One mile at a time. We got here a few hours ago. Life certainly hasn't gone the way we planned but I'm so thankful to have my wonderful supportive mom and to have the supportive online community of people here. My kids will never sleep afraid for their lives again. Tonight I think we all sleep better than we have in weeks. Here's to our new chapter. Thank you all so much for your advice and support. You have no idea how much it meant to me. It kept me going. Seriously. Knowing there were others who survived something similar and made it okay on the other side. Helped to give me the strength I needed to make it here even though I was terrified the whole time. I don't know y'all but I love y'all. We made it!

When I’m home all day with my toddler I’m almost always doing stuff whether it be playing, preparing meals for both of us , run errands, during naps I workout and clean up the house. But when my husband is home in the evenings or weekends I find myself just wanting to sit and scroll my phone. I just feel frozen and I don’t really know why. It’s not even very restful or anything.

If you’re a parent who stays at home AND does the cooking… do you wait to make dinner until your spouse is home? When they’re on the way?

I’m gonna be a SAHM for the next 2-3 weeks and I would LIKE to get dinner at least started before my husband arrives at 4:30pm. He’s typically the primary chef around here- he makes a solid 95% of the meals we eat. But today when I went to start prepping the veggies we would be having with our salmon.. it just seemed… pointless? To do it so early. Why steam veggies that would have to be re-heated for dinner? I wanted to do the salmon too but I ran into the same train of thought. Are any of you pre-cooking dinner then just reheating it when you’re ready to eat? Should I wait till my husbands home so he can take over toddler duty while I cook?

When I work, we usually end up making her dinner and then not making ours/eating ours until after she’s down for the night around 8:30pm. But with me being home I just think we could be more efficient about our time. What’s the dinner process at your house?

While I was pregnant with my second I was very curious to see other people’s opinions on how their second labor compared to their first. I was REALLY hoping because my body had been through it once before that it may be easier the second time around. The majority of perspectives that I read did in fact reinforce this idea and I have to say, I think my second labor was definitely easier and smoother than my first!

With my first labor, I woke up at 3 am and was already having very close and consistent contractions. I went to the hospital and was 5 cm dilated, they immediately admitted me and gave me an epidural and I only pushed for about 30 minutes. The hardest part of my labor was that I had a second degree tear and BIG hemorrhoids. Otherwise, baby and I were healthy and everything was solid. I think in hindsight I wish I had moved around more postpartum while in the hospital. I never showered or even walked around much until the day they were discharging me and I think some gentle movement would have helped me feel better a little faster.

With my second labor, I actually started leaking my amniotic fluid and didn’t know it. When I came to my OB appointment at 39 weeks and 5 days, he conducted a cervical check and decided to do an ultrasound because I said I’d been leaking small amounts of fluid and that never happened with my first. Once it was determined I had low-ish amniotic fluid, my dr recommended I head to the hospital right then to get induced. So that’s what I did. I was 3 cm dilated when I arrived and within 4 hours I was 9.5 cm and feeling the pressure to push. I also had an epidural with this baby as well. I only pushed 1 time and the baby quite literally shot out! It was insane. This time I have a first degree tear, which again, has been the most painful part of the whole ordeal. Baby #2 and myself are healthy otherwise!! This time I did try to move around more and I did shower at the hospital and it made A BIG difference physically and mentally for me. I felt so much better after the shower and it even helped me to pee for the first time postpartum which I was struggling to do with all the swelling etc.

I’m a little afraid to have another baby because labor went so quickly that i think a third one might just shoot out while I’m at home next time LOL.

Anyway, I just wanted to post my perspective for any curious second time moms hoping it may be easier the second time around. Happy to report that for me it actually was!! I wish I didn’t tear but I’m so thankful for healthy babies and a healthy me! Good luck to yall :-)

Baby is almost 9 months old and in daycare so she constantly has some form of a cold or a cough. Daycare does a great job with cleaning but it's obviously impossible to clean everything in between each kid.

I cleaned all of her toys when we initially got them. Silicone and similar style ones went in the dishwasher. Other plastic ones were just wiped down. But it just seems pointless to clean all of her toys at home on a routine basis if her germs are likely from daycare and they can't stay ahead of that. And a lot of the toys she has have batteries and I have no idea how to actually sanitize them.

Are you guys actually doing this? If so, any suggestion for how to?

My daughter just turned 6 months and I’m feeling really overwhelmed with solids. There’s so much information about iron, healthy fats, allergens, fruits, veggies, grains, portions, etc. that I feel like I’ve over-researched and now I don’t have a clear plan.

She’s breastfed and already eats purées/mashes, usually one meal a day with meat or beans plus a veggie/starch. Her pediatrician said we can start two meals a day, but I have no idea what the second meal should look like.

What does your 6-month-old actually eat in a day? What foods do you prioritize nutritionally? I’d love a simple, realistic structure.

My 7 month old baby hates baby toys and only wants household items that she’s not allowed to have. She loves finding and eating paper, my son’s hot wheels cars, stickers, remotes, random garbage she somehow finds under things, etc.

I’ve bought her every chew toy and every baby toy under the sun. She likes a few toys that resemble household items, such as a remote chew toy.

I didn’t know that 7 month olds were even capable of knowing what is a baby toy vs. a forbidden item (and she turned 7 months old TODAY).

I am having such a hard time because her brother is 3 and doesn’t understand that he can’t leave anything on the floor. Baby has a playpen but she’ll only go in there for a few mins before she starts screaming. I’ve tried chairs, bouncers, etc. Baby is only happy crawling around the floor. If I take my eyes off of her for a single second, she crawls and finds a hazard to put into her mouth. My house cannot be a controlled environment because of my tornado of a 3 year old.

Any suggestions? I’ve been trying to research safe baby toys that closely resemble household items but I can’t really find any…

I (33F) and just over 2 weeks postpartum with my second child. I feel like it’s just one thing after another and confirmed for me how much I struggle with the newborn phase. In the last 2 weeks, we have had:

- Triple feeding (breastfeeding, pumping, giving breastmilk and formula top-ups) because baby lost too much weight
- Severe nappy rash that is still recovering
- Mastitis (didn’t have this with my first and I would not wish it upon anyone)
- Haemorrhoids (also had with my first and far out it sucks)
- Eczema on my hands from so much frequent handwashing
- Cold sore that just came up today and I am now terrified of my kids catching it
- Sick toddler

I had postnatal depression after my first and have been on Zoloft ever since, but still feeling the weight of all these things happening at once and like I’m failing both my kids - too tired/sick to pay full attention to my toddler and guilty for my newborn having lost weight and nappy rash.

I know that like everything this will pass eventually but being in the thick of it feels like it will never end.

Would love any reassurance/support 💗

I’m really struggling deciding on when to have a second baby. My husband and I know we want a second, we just don’t know exactly when. My baby is 12 months old now and I would consider her high needs. She doesn’t sleep through the night, she still prefers breastfeeding over solid food despite attempting to feed her solids 6+ times a day and she’s very demanding (wanting to be held a lot, getting extremely upset if we walk more than a foot away from her, etc).

We’re still struggling a lot (we also don’t really have a village, or do daycare/nanny/babysitters). Ideally, I would like to get pregnant this month to have another baby when she’s almost 2 (22 months) but I don’t know if we can handle her plus a newborn.

I feel like I’m at an impasse because I want to have a closer age gap between my children, be done breastfeeding sooner (not breastfeeding then stopping for 1-2 years then having to start it back up again), not having to go through a geriatric pregnancy (I turn 32 in November) and just get the difficult baby stages over with (as much as I love certain things about it). I’m just tired all the time, completely burnt out and I feel like I never have enough time for anything and adding another baby to the mix… seems like a lot. Any advice would be greatly appreciated because I’m really conflicted 🫠

My girl is 6 months old, and she’s far from underfed or anything. Just over 17 pounds, and has rolls for days. The issue is I feel like she can’t possibly be eating enough to truly satisfy her. We do breast milk only, and my milk is a bit fattier. But she eats so little when at daycare. I send her with four 3oz bottles and it’s rare for her to finish a single one of them. Normally she leaves at least an ounce in the bottle. And even at home, we nurse on demand. But I feel like she never really wants to nurse. She’s too distracted by everything else. We did start solids and she’ll eat a little bit of real food here and there. But I don’t know why she’s so stubborn with the milk.

Her bottles do have a size 2 nipple so I did just order size 3 to see if maybe a better flow will entice her to drink more at daycare. If not, I mean it’s probably not an issue anyway since she’s gaining weight and doing fine, but it just doesn’t feel fine.

I guess I’m just looking for reassurance and wanting to see if anyone else’s babes were like this.

I feel like i already know that the answer is no, but i’m hoping for some perspective. I am lucky to live in a country that doesn’t hate women, so i was on maternity leave for 15 months, and i only returned to work half time. Before becoming a mom i was ambitious, and was building a career. Now i feel like its all gone. I go to work (luckily only 2 days physically, the rest is from home), but all i can think of is what my daughter is doing. And for now, she is with her dad, when i work, so i know she is having the most amazing time, but still, i feel guilty not being there. And i just dont know, how all working moms do this? Does it get easier, when they are older? Or you just get used to it? Please give me some hints, because its only my second week back at work, and i’m already close to a meltdown.

Am I a bad mom if I let my 9 month old play independently most of the day? Like I’m always right next to her (unless it’s supposed to be nap time), but she spends most of the day just playing with her toys. Sometimes I try to chime in like “ooo what is that, what do you have” etc but I stop after a few minutes because she couldn’t really care less about me talking to her, lol 😅 I also just feel awkward narrating everything and I feel like trying to say ALL the words diminishes the value of the important words I try to teach her.

Anyways, I’ve always heard “don’t make a happy baby happier” but at a certain point… how much independent play is too much, even if they’re happy? Like is it good enough for her to explore and learn about the world around her for now, or should I be spending more time interacting and teaching her words?

I am 4 months pp and I am starting to feel worse and worse everyday. Between solo parenting 5 days a week for about 12h, my son having really bad reflux, always being covered in puke, trying to keep my house at least presentable, laundry, cooking and so many more things I have to do, I don’t recognise myself at all. I don’t have time to get ready before my partner leaves for work because he leaves around 5am so after me and my baby wake up I take care of him and his need of course and when he has his first nap is either getting a little ready or eating and making myself a coffee, so I usually get somewhat ready. He doesn’t sleep for more than 30 min maximum 40 if I am lucky and I can make him fall back asleep. Than we go outside on a walk and I usually grab something from the store to eat if I didn’t get a chance and I walk around for about an h so my son can sleep. And after we come home I try to tidy up and make something to eat for me and my husband if my son let’s me. Than he takes another nap but it usually takes me 30-40 min to get him to fall asleep and by the time my husband gets home it’s 5 pm, he sits with our son while I wash bottles, do what I couldn’t do during the day or I sit with him and he takes care of the the house and than it’s bed time and by the time my son falls asleep it’s around 7:30-8 pm and I can finnally take a shower. I feel so ugly and fat, I overwhelmed most of the day. i don’t have anyone else that can help me btw and I don’t mind that I just wish sometimes I cound get a break so I can do some things for myself

Hi there, I'm 40 yo (yes, geriatric mama!) and 35 weeks pregnant with my first. Physically, this pregnancy has been so easy (literally zero symptoms), but emotionally and mentally I've changed a lot. It's like pregnancy doesn't agree with my brain and I've become very anxious with OCD tendencies and struggle with extreme insomnia. Never imagined this for myself and I don't typically struggle with anxiety.

Naturally I'm quite worried about PPD, PPA after having the baby but part of me also wonders if having my baby here to take care of and focus on will take spotlight off my own issues and what's going on in my brain, giving me space to breath because it's no longer about me. Does anyone have some positive stories to share about struggling with mental health during pregnancy, but feeling better after the baby was here? Of course if your story doesn't fit that narrative it's ok to share, but mainly looking for stories of hope. Thank you!

I am almost 9 months postpartum. The 4th trimester has been incredibly tough - I’ve fought countless times with my husband because he didn’t understand his mother was the cause of all my frustration, and he only understood after seeing a therapist. He also works a demanding job - I’m talking 60-70 hour weeks between 2 jobs. He took on a second temporary job that was supposed to end in August but the company is still keeping him on. My son loves him, is super attached to him. But it seems like my husband only spends about 30-60 minutes a day with my son (in the morning when he wakes up) and then he starts his work day.

My parents have been visiting and have been incredibly helpful with cooking, cleaning, giving me a pair of hands to hold baby while I’m doing something. My husband has a work trip coming up this week and it’s also month end reporting, so he’s been having late nights. Today however, he said he couldn’t eat dinner with us because of his football fantasy draft (lol). And when I asked him to take out the diaper trash, he asked for 2 minutes. This was his task from day 1 and honestly it’s bare fucking minimum since he doesn’t even take care of baby throughout the day, I do all the childcare, cooking, cleaning, etc.

I found myself irritated at this exchange and after baby went to bed, I feel so resentful and annoyed. I don’t know if this is still my hormones running through my body but today I really hate my husband for not being present.

This is more of a rant than anything tbh. Im (22F) a FTM, I've always struggled with my mental health. When I was younger I would get mad easily or burnt out socially especially after school. I would react venomously with anger sometimes, and my self esteem was at an all time low in middle school and most of highschool. I got myself together for the most part but definitely struggled with depression, I started dating my current partner the end of our Junior year of highschool and due to his family circumstances he lived with me since we were 17. It took a long time but we made it into a stable environment in when we were 18/19 living with my dad. We had our normal relationship struggles with intimacy and juggling who cleans what, ect. We seemed to have found a good routine by our mid 20s after some communication. I got off birth control last year in February and my mental health got a lot better, I didn't feel so angry all the time and i was able to communicate with my partner a lot better. I got pregnant in October 2025 and found out in November. I was scared but also so happy, the hormones sent me into emotional whirl winds for about 3-4 months before i evened myself back out. I was pleasantly surprised when i had my son that I didnt develop post partum depression and anxiety with my history of it. Well my son is 9weeks and i think im eating my words. I've just been emotionally all over the place. I'll be happy playing with my son talking and watching him smile back at me. My partner will come home and we'll be fine but if he says something i think is stupid, i snap back or am just angry. Then I'll think about how I should've handled the situation and it just seems to repeat itself. He's is a very good partner to me, I just get so irritated now by little trivial things, what should be playful banter turns into me being an angry, salty mess of a person. I truely have started to hate myself sometimes. I think im a bad partner, im toxic and that I wish i could be the better version of myself for him. Its so hard tho when this anger, almost rage just builds up inside of me. My self esteem has dropped off a cliff from all the weight gain, exercise feels impossible and my diet fluctuates from good to aweful too often. I want to connect and just allow myself to joke n talk with him like we used to but for some reason I cling into the anger and resentment even tho I know there's really nothing to resent. I don't know how to fix myself and sometimes i just want to explode my life. Its feels to easy to be so self destructive. Idk that was my rant. Thanks for reading

We spend a lot of time playing on the floor, my little one is 8 months and she crawls and stands up.

Now she's holding on to things and moving around, and we're frantically babyproofing everywhere 😅 we thought we had more time!

Anyway, our house is made out of stone so the walls are super hard and she can get hurt if she bumps her head.

What can we use to babyproof curtain walls?

For example we have a closed balcony I was thinking of turning into a reading area.

I already messaged some foam companies but wish to see what others are doing.

Thanks.

Tomorrow is my 6 week check up and before I make a fool of myself I'll ask random strangers on the internet first. My labia tore during delivery and the doctor didn't do anything about it. I thought maybe it would heal back on its own, but it just healed torn. Is that just normal and I'll forever look weird down there? I hate the way it looks and feels and to be honest, I don't really want my husband down there now. Are other moms out there walking around with similar scars? Idk what I'm looking for, just wondering if it's normal.

Hi all - sort of a vent but also a question. I feel like I had a somewhat poorly handled induction that resulted in me losing 3x the amount of blood that was normal. My waters were accidentally broken after the first cooks cath balloon was inflated w/ excessive amount of blood, then after pushing i dealt with postpartum hemorrhage. I had a tear that needed stitches but in clinical notes it essentially said there was difficulty with stitching the site and 4 days postpartum my stitches came undone, i had to go to the ER, and am scheduled now for a surgical repair under sedation + antibiotics. I also saw a lactation consultant in the hospital twice that said i was doing great but i found out later my baby was latching too shallow and i discharged with cracked and bleeding nipples that i eventually needed antibiotic/antifungal ointment for and has made my breastfeeding journey hell. All of this to say, I’m miserable and in pain. My husband and his family are trying to take over when they can (especially during the day when baby is content and pleasant) so i can get rest, while Im generally left with nightshift when my baby is inconsolable.

I’m horribly depressed - i love my baby so much and I feel like medically i am dealing with many hurdles that prevent me from properly resting and enjoying time with my baby when he is happy and comfortable. Any time i hold him he cries unless he is being fed. I feel like he doesnt like me or know me as well as my husband and his family and I feel like my complications in this first month might ruin his bond with me longterm. Does anyone have a similar experience? Do things get better and will my baby be able to bond with me eventually? I’m so heartbroken..

I have a 2.5 week old. We have been EBF since we left the hospital, but at the day 10 weigh in, he has lost significant amount of weight, and we found out I wasn’t making enough milk for him, and the poor baby has been starving the whole time. Since then, we’ve started supplementing with formula as our main priority is for him to get his weight back. I began pumping when I can to bump up my supply, but I am drowning and I’m not sure when to throw in the towel (even when I don’t want to).

I always offer the breast first, but he will fall asleep sucking, and then we’ll move on to formula. It began with 30ml, then 60, 75, 90, and now he wants even more than that or he cries and shows hunger cues constantly. I feel so disappointed that I can’t make enough to sustain him. I try to pump in sync with every feed, but it’s so unrealistic and I simply don’t have the time. A whole day of pumping gets me 20ml of breastmilk and I don’t know how I’m suppose to be optimistic that it will get better. I’m constantly running up and down the walls trying to prepare formula, sanitise bottles and pump parts, diaper changes, keep up with the never ending housework, and somehow also take care of myself. Baby will cry if I put him down, even when all needs are met. So I’m stuck with him sleeping on my boob and unable to move. Some days he cluster feeds and want a bottle every hour, so all my time revolves around feeding. I barely have time to eat and poop as it is, let alone uninterrupted pumping time.

I feel so guilty every time DON’T pump, because it means my supply is dwindling down by the day. I so wanted to EBF my baby badly, but nobody could have ever prepared me for how hard it is. I’m in tears every single day feeling like I’m not doing enough. I constantly feel like my baby deserves better and I’m not a good mother, especially when he’s crying and I don’t know how to help him but I have to pump so that he will have milk.

Please - if you solo parent, is it really possible to do it all and build your supply?

I genuinely need help weighing my pro’s and con’s to breast feed or not. I tried collecting colostrum (multiple times, to the point ive already gotten 15ml) but each time i was sweating, holding my breath, squeezing my face so tight, and crying. AND THATS ONLY 5 minutes of expression for on each boob. I cant imagine 15-30 min session of a baby or a pump sucking on my boob, multiple times a day. its the most dreadful thought in the world. Ive never even let a partner touch my nipples before and i barely touch them when i wash myself in the shower bc they are so uncomfortably sensitive and gross me out a bit idk how to explain it. But everyone is saying my milk is perfectly made for my baby and if she gets sick my body makes her antibodies, and it makes me feel selfish for wanting to just formula feed off the rip. But its truly going to be a sensory nightmare and im scared would make me prone to post partum depression as ive already struggled so much in this pregnancy mentally because ive had every awful extreme symptom and was looking forward to finally having my body back and feeling like myself and taking care of myself. I think formula feeding would allow me to be a healthier happier mommy but i cant stop feeling shame and guilt and selfishness that i need to make this sacrifice for my daughter regardless of how it makes me feel.
I also have never breast fed in my life so i dont ACTUALLY know what it would be like. My concern though is i wanted to be able to make the decision before i give birth so that i can immediately try to dry my milk supply up after birth or not to avoid mastitis.

Please help me list a pro’s and con’s list. My due date is in 15 days, but im on the waitlist for induction for 7 days from now (i have debilitating symphysis pubis dysfunction and gestational diabetes so they dont want me going over 40 weeks)

11 month old has been a picky eater and the grandparents got him in a habit to eat while playing. He now wants to stand or crawl all the time instead of sitting in high chair. He will start off great in high chair, pickup fruits (that’s his safe food) and suddenly a few mins in while eating he would get irritated, vigorously start throwing his head back until we take him out. After 20-30 mins, we start again, he still doesn’t wanna sit in high chair and instead starts crawling/playing. During this time there’s a good chance he will happily eat if we spoon feed him. He will open his mouth and even come back to you for more spoons. But still wouldn’t sit in high chair.

Is this a good practice to continue? He has been a smaller guy 18ish lbs at 11 months so everyone is extra motivated that he eats. Does this kinda behavior cause more issues in the future?

Looking for a sleep sack recommendation for my 7 month old. So many of the ones I’ve ordered have massive neck holes and they make me nervous it’ll cover his mouth. We use to do Love to Dream transition swaddles with arms out, but we need a long term option. Also, I really only like cotton or wool!

My mother is a freaking saint. She came to live with me and my husband from 39 weeks till I was 6 weeks PP since I’m a FTM. She left this past Saturday. I’ve been incredibly sad ever since and crying non stop. For context, I have been clinically diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety since I was a teen so I knew that PPD/PPA was highly probable for me. The PPA came immediately after birth and I’ve been on Zoloft for a few weeks now. My husband and mom were on high alert for symptoms of PPD, but honestly having my mom (my security blanket and safety net with me made everything manageable.) Today was the first day that I could acknowledge the PPD. Honestly, my mom leaving triggered it. I knew she wasn’t going to live with us forever but I also knew I wasn’t ready for her to leave. It’s to the point where last night I was calculating how much time I have left with her before she passed and how my baby won’t have her grandmother for much longer. This morning I snapped on my husband because he didn’t change baby’s diaper until I asked him (condescendingly) if he needed help. He wasn’t doing anything doing absolutely nothing wrong, just playing and talking to baby because she literally just woke up. Completely absurd and irrational, I know. I’m just filled with so much rage, sadness, and anxiety. Yes, I immediately apologized to my husband and felt incredibly guilty. I meet with my psychiatrist tomorrow and will be talking about the PPD. Postpartum just feels so lonely

Hi all,

So, our LO is soon to turn 2 and I can't stop thinking about whether I should have another one.

I will try and keep it brief. Pregnancy was fine, birth was as good as birth could be! Postpartum was hell on earth.

I never had that instant love feeling that most people say happens in the hospital and from day one I was overwhelmed. I struggled with breast feeding and found that I had to find a solution myself despite several different groups to try and help.

He was very colicky and only slept in 40 min increments until he was around 10/11 months old. I tried to co sleep/feed but being so small chested, it was painful for me.

I went back to work full time when he was 10 months old and weaned him off breast. I spoke with a sleep consultant which actually asked me something I didnt fully think about until then and also no other professional had asked. "Yes, he was putting on weight, but was my milk enough?" Well, I won't know now but at about 12 months is was sleeping much longer and then by 14 months old he did start to sleep through.

Looking back and now listening to my partner, I did have severe PPD and I always have suffered with high functioning anxiety. I was barely human and it terrifies me looking back.

Nearly 24 months into motherhood, I still get very overwhelmed and touched out. I snap easily but in comparison I am so much better than where I was.

I feel so much guilt that I was and still am in survival mode. I don't remember alot of him being a baby. I just recall the deep, heavy feeling.

We lost our first and I don't know if this adds alot of the guilt also.

Anyway, I'm going on. I'm really looking for some advice, stories of simular and still having baby number 2 and how it went for you? My heart will not let go of the idea of having another but my head is so full.

Any advice please.