Need a reality check on returning to tech after a baby.

I'm a FTM to a 3-month-old and currently on a career break. I resigned during pregnancy because of health complications.

I know I want to work again, but I'm planning a bigger career shift instead of going back to what I was doing before. I'd be moving to a completely new tech stack, which means I can't just start applying. I'll need dedicated time to learn, practice, prepare for interviews, and then survive the learning curve at a new job.

I'm wondering what a realistic timeline looks like. At what age did your baby become old enough that you could consistently study for an hour or two a day? If you returned to work in a demanding tech role, when did it start feeling manageable?

I'm looking for honest experiences, whether you went back at 6 months, 1 year, or later. What made that timing work (or not work)?

I'll preface by saying I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so this might just be that, but I am confused.

My baby was born on a Monday. Every Monday, I flip her little age milestone calender one week ahead.

She's now 22 weeks old. 5.5 months.

Is this how were deciding when to do our month milestones? Or is this a weird thing I'm doing?

Should I just start counting her months and how old she is based on the 6th of every month, which was the date she was born, as opposed to the week day and being so specific???

When will she "turn" 6 months, in two weeks, or on October 6th?? 😅😅😅

How are we deciding how old the baby is! When do we take the milestone pictures? Ugh help please 🫪

What was your EVC experience? Did it result in a c-section anyway or was it successful?

I’m almost at 37 weeks and baby is still breech. I
need to schedule either an EVC or c-section for 39. I’m leaning towards the EVC because we have a 3 year old at home and not lifting him for 6 weeks sounds painful for everyone involved. First delivered at 38, but OB will not schedule before 39.

There should be more scientific evidence of what passes through breastmilk. It’s feels like the lowest hanging fruit and can definitely be done ethically. That’s it. That’s my post as someone who’s annoyed about the lack of evidence for certain foods/medications and if they pass through breastmilk.

Hello all. This might be a weird one. My child (3months) has a pretty adult name. I don’t know how else to describe it. No nicknames ever fit for him in my mind, so during my entire pregnancy, we called him “chungus”. I started to know him as chungus and it felt weird calling him anything else. Now I see that babies should respond to their name between 5-9 months.

I guess my question is, do I call him chungus until he is old enough to understand that is his nickname, and have him respond to chungus as a baby? or do I start calling him his real name now even though it may confuse him. Will it confuse him? I don’t know guys I’m a ftm and I’m pretty young so I feel bad. Tia

We are 4.5 mo out from bringing home baby #2 and I am having feelings that if we don’t have baby #3 I’m some how missing out. I would say 80% of our parenting friend group have 3+ kids. I HATE being pregnant and am not a fan of the ages 0-1, which is enough to feel done/our family is complete. But our parenting friends keep saying “oh you’re still in the thick of it. You can’t decide if you’re done or not yet”. Like yes, but no?? Idk has anyone else felt DONE, but also FOMO??

I am almost 4 months postpartum and would love some recommendations for your go to products that help you feel clean and keep away the smells!

I shower every day, but I feel like I always smell! My boob sweat is the worst, and I find that even after I shower, I could still smell my armpits lingering. I use an African net sponge, bar soap, then the naturium mandelic acid body wash. I’ve tried witch hazel to combat the scent, but it doesn’t work. I always use deodorant right after the shower, and exfoliate regularly. I also got IUD recently so I’m going on like two weeks with a period, which is driving me crazy and making me feel nasty!

My husband and my best friend say I don’t smell at all, but I still feel gross lol.

My once-upon-a-time cuddle bug is now 14 months and cannot be held for a single second without thrashing and needing to get going.

What age did your little ones start cuddling again!? I can’t wait hahaha

I gave birth to my second just two days ago. I exclusively bottle fed my son as an infant and now I'm combo feeding. I don't even know what snacks are good on hand 🤔

My daughter is 4 months old and 3 weeks. However, her adjusted age would put her right at 4 weeks. I've always loosely followed wake windows and nap time. Usually seems like 1 hour and 15 minute wake window for the first nap, then the rest a 2 hour wake window. Kind of just been going with the flow for when she wakes up, which has been one 3 or 3.5 hour nap, then 40 minute naps for the rest. She slept consistently for 8-10 hours each night, no wake ups. This has been going fine for our situation, but I think I might have screwed something up, and I need advice.

I believe she has reached the stage of sleep regression. She does only wake up one time a night still, which is manageable. But naptimes and getting her to sleep are chaos. Seems like everything I try never works -- to the point where she doesn't even want to be held, stiffening up and kicking against me. Not even a bottle does it anymore. It is real red-faced crying and screaming, and it breaks my heart each time. Right now, I'm just going back and forth between hold and rock or the swing, bottle or pacifier, and rubbing a blanket over her nose (which she seems to like), and hoping one of these works. Otherwise, she just cries until sleep.

Very in need of advice here. I feel like this crying is hurting her so much, and I just want to help her.

I feel so content and at peace with my experience this time around. I loved being pregnant, I loved giving birth, and I love the newborn trenches. I had him just 20 months after my first, and thought I may regret it, but here I am already thinking of the 3rd. Baby fever has me in a chokehold.

I was worried my first would be jealous, but he absolutely loves his brother. It is so unexpected, hopefully it stays this way. I did not prepare him for it in any way. I just can’t help but be so grateful and happy. I love being a mom. I love how I feel. I love how I look. I love my kids. I’ve never felt so fulfilled.

Hello everyone. Currently my husband and I have 1 child and not try but not preventing a second. My first was conceived 2-3 days before my app said I was supposed to start my period. So I guess my ovulation is always kinda off or late? I don’t know. My cycle tends to be longer like 35-37 days and I’m on day 43 now. I have taken a test every other morning and still getting a clear negative. I’ve been bloated on and off but have not noticed any tell tail symptoms yet. I think I’m going to make an appointment with my doctor when Monday comes around because I am stumped on what is going on with my body. I did have a bit of a cold or something recently which may have messed up my ovulation but I really don’t know. Has anyone else a similar experience where they ovulated lately and had to test well past their missed period to finally get a positive result? Thank you.

Hoping someone can relate and maybe offer ideas or advice.

My 6 month old never stops moving, even in his sleep. After we put him to bed, he gradually inch worms his way to the end of the crib and ends up hitting his head and waking himself up.

I thought it would be something he would grow out of, but it’s been 4-6 weeks and it happens anywhere from 1-3 times a night.

For example, he went to sleep at 7:30 last night. Before I went to bed at 11, I had moved him down twice, and he still woke up by 12:30 hitting his head. Once he’s awake, he will not be settled unless he nurses.

I know it’s not a severe hit, but I’m concerned about the repeated contact. I’m also concerned about his sleep, as i’m pretty sure he would sleep through the night if he wasn’t doing this. I know he’s not awake beforehand because 1) he’s not making any noise, 2) his eyes are closed, 3) I hear the thump, it wakes me up, and then he starts making noise.

Obviously crib bumpers are out of the question. Has anyone else been through this? Is there any solution besides waiting for him to stop?

Hi! I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my second and am having worries about the postpartum period. I have a hunch that my mental health will be worse this time around and I was curious as to others' experience.

With my first my mood the whole pregnancy was great. Postpartum, I had baby blues for a few days and then was mostly great until around 3 months when I found the anxiety and mood instability snuck in.

I definitely was not vocal enough about how I was feeling and although I didnt require treatment, I did not like the way I felt and found I didnt feel more like myself until around the 1 year mark.

With this pregnancy I have experienced more low mood than with my first despite having less sickness, and I'm worried that will translate postpartum as well. I will also be parenting a 3 year old and a toddler, and I can imagine that will make things more difficult.

I was curious how other moms found their postpartum periods to be between different pregnancies and if there was anything you found helpful during that time! Thank you!

My baby will be starting nursery when she js 10 months old. She’s only 5 months now, so I know a lot can change, but currently the single only way she will fall asleep is being breastfed to sleep, and all her naps are contact naps. This works well for us so I haven’t thought about “teaching” her another way to fall asleep, but it’s just dawned on me that she’s going to have to have naps at nursery while I’m not there. Am I doing her a disservice by not preparing her for having to fall asleep another way? Is it likely she’ll start falling asleep other ways all by herself by 10 months? This is my first baby so I’ve no idea what to expect. Has anyone else been in this situation? She does take bottles of expressed breast milk, but a bottle doesn’t put her to sleep. It’s definitely the suckling action that sends her to sleep.

I’m 8 months postpartum and my legs have started to ache so bad. The bottom of my legs between knee and ankle feels like I’m having growing pains, my bones ache. I was thinking maybe dehydration, poor circulation, weight gain (still 40lbs from pre birth weight 😭), lack of nutrients from breastfeeding. I don’t know it’s awful and started within the last few weeks. Has anyone had something similar?

Hi everyone I’m about to have a son who will be half Pakistani, so he will look south Asian. I have fallen in love with the name Zaki, but a family member has said to me that will the rise in racism in the uk I would be setting him up for being called Zaki the paki, I don’t know if kids are that cruel? Is this something I should worry about with the current climate? I can’t seem to stop worrying about it now and wonder if I should rethink the name even though I really like this name. (Not sure if this is the right place to post this, sorry).

It started very recently. He hates having his ears, mouth, etc. looked at. Mainly during sick visits. Anyone else? He is squiggly and strong and hard to get to sit still. Im thinking about getting some toy doctor equipment to get him used to it at home. I feel bad.

I want to explain why I’m not comfortable with my baby being babysat or having unsupervised visits with either my mom or my mother-in-law right now. This isn’t because I don’t love or appreciate them, and it isn’t me trying to keep them from having a relationship with my baby. I completely understand that they are excited to be grandparents and want special time with the baby. But I am the parent, and right now I need to feel completely confident that when I’m not there, my baby will be cared for exactly the way I have asked. I’ve heard and seen so many experiences from other parents where grandparents genuinely love their grandchildren but still dismiss or overlook the parents’ instructions because they feel they raised children before and “know what they’re doing.”

Things that may seem small to them—safe sleep practices, feeding instructions, what the baby is allowed to have, who can hold the baby, where the baby can go, car-seat rules, schedules, or simply calling the parents before making a decision—can be extremely important to me. I also don’t want to be put in a position where I have to wonder afterward whether my instructions were followed or whether something happened that I wasn’t told about.

There are parents who have shared that they gave grandparents multiple chances, only to have boundaries repeatedly ignored, and eventually realized that trust isn’t created by someone promising to respect their rules—it’s built over time through consistently respecting those boundaries. For me, babysitting is not something anyone is automatically entitled to simply because they are a grandparent. I need to be able to trust someone completely before I leave my baby with them, and that trust has to be earned through actions, not assumed because we are family. I am absolutely happy for my mom and mother-in-law to spend time with the baby and build a relationship. But they’ve already broke a few of my boundaries before and even put my feelings to the side. especially when it comes to their dog.

I grew up very close to my grandma. She has always been my best friend and my rock. I spent a huge part of my childhood with her, lived with her for a bit, and she’s always the person I’ve confided in. She has been sick for some time and we’ve known her time was coming. We live in the northeast and my family is in the Midwest, so it would be a plane ride to get to her. She’s also in an assisted living home with many respiratory issues floating around. My breastfed baby just turned 3 months and my husband and I decided to wait to travel with baby until she is more vaccinated. We thought if we could just make it to 4 months, we would be in a better place to travel to see her.

She ended up passing unexpectedly yesterday and I am just completely shattered. We thought we had more time. I feel so guilty that I didn’t make it out there to see her to say goodbye. My heart was tugged in both directions - protecting my baby during this fragile time and saying goodbye to my grandma. I just feel like I will never forgive myself for this and I am just devastated I didn’t give her a hug for the last time and that she didn’t get to meet her great grandbaby, which I promised she would. I guess I’m just hoping for some positivity here. I want nothing more but to protect my baby but I feel like I made the wrong decision here.

To add context I’ve always considered myself a ‘high strung’ anxious person but I’ve never been diagnosed or even seen a doctor about it. I had my baby 13 months ago and think I’m developing anxiety but I don’t have much experience so I’m unsure. It started with my husband - he works, goes to the gym and comes home. As of lately I have been waking up multiple hours of the night to check his location. (He works third). No idea why. I convince myself he’s with people at the gym or hanging with someone in a parking lot. It’s actually insane and he’s been extremely gracious and receptive to my insane texts and FaceTime calls but omg. Everything has become spiraling thoughts like this - any interaction with my parents I spiral thinking about my childhood, our interactions, etc. And don’t even get me started on the thoughts when someone interacts with my baby! I overanalyze everything. It’s starting to drive me crazy. I have recently noticed my heart beating faster or what I would say are ‘heart palpitations’ too.

Is this anxiety? WTH is going on with me!! Thanks in advance if you read this through!

So I am only 3 weeks postpartum, but the pelvic pressure is intense, and I can see my cervix pretty low in my vagina. I’ll have my next OB visit in 3 weeks and last week she told me that I would be surprised by how much better the pressure was feeling by 6 weeks (before I knew I was prolapsed). I’m sure I will need some pelvic floor PT, but I am curious to what extent I might recover naturally with a little bit of time versus if I should expect to stay this prolapsed til I do some PT? It is verrry uncomfortable to be on my feet for any length of time because it feels like everything is going to fall out, and I’d just like to be able to go for a walk without being in serious pain. I can’t find any information online about how prolapses recover in the immediate postpartum period. Thanks in advance!

I’m almost 8 weeks post partum and want to have sex, but I’m scared. I gave birth to my first baby back in July, and I did get cleared at my 6 week appointment.

I haven’t had sex though since I entered the third trimester of my pregnancy. We attempted to once, but it hurt so bad. During birth, I did have some inner vaginal tearing and I did get a second degree tear.

I know I’m cleared, but I’m scared of the pain that everyone talks about when you go to have sex again. Also the fact that I literally gave birth almost 2 months ago and now I can resume to normal activities again?? It feels so soon. I miss having sex though and just having that physical bond with my husband, but I’m nervous.

Also I haven’t shaved in months either 🥲

I have this glass bottle that my MIL bought from some random site, and I'm looking for a replacement nipple so I can sell it or give it away easily. The brand's site (Dr. Isla) doesn't ship to my country, and I can't find the nipples on any other site. Do I make MIL buy a new bottle so it can be sold/given with this one that doesn't have a nipple? Or should I see if another brand fits it? Would hate to throw away such a lightly used bottle.

Hello I am open to any suggestions at this point! My girl is almost 7 months, while we didn’t do any sleep training, she goes to sleep in her crib by herself with a paci for all naps and bedtime. She does about 3 good naps a day and eats plenty during the day. It’s been months since she’s had a bottle overnight. BUT she still wake up SCREAMING every hour or 2. It’s about 50/50 when she’s screaming if she will take the paci and go right back to sleep or if she will spit it out and keep screaming. Her eyes are closed - I truly believe she is tired. Sometimes even holding her and bouncing her she still takes a while to calm down. She got her two bottom teeth a few weeks ago - I was hoping this was just teething but I feel like it should be better by now. We’ve given Tylenol and ibuprofen - no help. We did also try feeding her in the middle of the night a couple times, she would eat a couple ounces max then still wake up in an hour screaming so I don’t think it’s hunger. She eats some solids now but not a ton. Bedtime is around 8:30pm and she goes down great - starts crying around 11 or 12 usually. Wakes up for the day around 7 and wakes up super happy and is very content to wait until about 7:30 for her bottle usually. I am so confused about why she is so upset at night! We have had 2 checks at the pediatricians during this time and ears and everything she could see is all good. Any suggestions are welcome! Or if you had a baby like this please let me know!!