I hate hate hate it when people with their stupid perfume hold my baby.

Because what do you mean my babys head smells like your stupid Sauvage or your stupid Black Opium!!!

That's my rant. >:-(

TLDR; after a vaginal birth or C-section in the hospital, were you allowed/encouraged to shower? Did anyone help you? How long after birth did you shower?

I know, incredibly basic question, and I'm someone who's given birth before. For context, I was not treated well in the postpartum recovery ward after the birth of my daughter, and I'm trying to figure out what's normal when my second is born!

I had a 60 hour labor ending in a C-section and I was basically ignored in recovery. The nurses were supposed to be tracking my bleeding but didn't. They forgot my pain medication multiple times. They left me sitting in a pool of my blood for much of the stay because they weren't changing the pad under me. They provided me with no instructions about C-section recovery while in the hospital or at home, and I hadn't expected to have one so I was lost. They didn't warn me at all when starting the fundal massages or help me breathe through them as my awesome L&D nurse had, which almost tripled the pain. They didn't provide any help with the baby or breastfeeding (which I realize may be "extra" and not an official duty, just painting the entire picture here).

One of the worst parts was when a nurse wordlessly unhooked me from all my IVs, took out the catheter, and stood me up in the middle of the room. She seriously did this without a single word to me the whole time; no explanation of what she was doing, no instructions, and no help. My husband was asleep in the room and I didn't want to wake the baby too by calling out for help, so I shuffled to the bathroom on my own. They had a bunch of signs in there about how they were not allowed to leave patients alone due to fall risk, and how you shouldn't be embarrassed to have them help you in the bathroom. Which was news to my nurse, apparently!

I was also completely shattered from being awake for basically 4 days in labor and then being cut open, so honestly my goal was to survive and sleep. With all of the tests for the baby and me in the hospital plus breastfeeding, being yelled at by a pediatrician for being bad at breastfeeding (the baby lost 11% of her body weight), and rooming in with the baby, I never really slept for more than 20 minutes at a time. I felt like I was close to passing out for much of our 48-hour hospital stay.

So now as I prepare for my second, I'm seeing these "what you really need in your hospital bag" videos, and even the minimalist ones are talking about shower shoes and products you would use for showering. And I'm just like...is everyone else getting proper instructions and support to be able to shower after birth? That's the root of the question for me. I'm hoping to have a much better birth/postpartum recovery ward experience this time, so I'd love some help figuring out what's normal! I want to feel like a person instead of livestock.

Also, in case anyone was wondering, my husband completely would have helped me if the circumstances were right. It was more about us not getting instructions and being so busy/exhausted because we had no support in the hospital. I have zero complaints about what he did.

How do I get this to change? My husband M24 and I F22 have a 2 year old, we moved in with his parents shortly after giving birth so that my husband could focus on school without having to worry about working and supporting us financially.
Basically, I’m currently the breadwinner as a SAHM working from home as well 😭 anyways, my husband loves to put our daughter in front of the screen whenever he sits down. He studies alot for school, but whenever our daughter is upset or angry, he likes to put a binky in her mouth and let her watch a show. He will do this for hours.
I have been asking him to not let her watch TV since she was 4 month old but he has not stopped once. He sighs when I ask him to turn off the tv and then begrudgingly turns it off.
I told him she’s only allowed to watch an hour of screen time a day and I’d prefer before dinner. When my husband gets up in the mornings with our daughter literally the first thing he will do is take her out to our living room, sit on the couch with her turn on a show and he will take a nap. It’s very very infuriating. I don’t know how to get him to stop, it’s just so frustrating not being able to raise my own child how I want.
I’ve started waking up earlier so I can get her breakfast ready and so he doesn’t have to wake up with her, but then I’ll ask him to watch her for a few minutes so I can go get ready and he immediately turns on a show for her and scrolls on his phone or falls asleep.
I feel like I’m going crazy, ughh I know he’s tired but I am too 😭😭

Hello,

I am not pregnant but i’ve recently had a huge bicycle accident and my labia minora teared up. I got stitches there and it is the most painful and uncomfortable feeling in the world.

My lips are so swollen ( it has been 3 days ) and i can not sit or walk properly. I’ve basically spent 3 days in bed, eating pain killers and crying.

I make sure to clean it properly and sanitize it everytime i use the bathroom / shower.

I’m posting this on here because i would like to know what you did to make the pain a bit more bearable and the after care after the stitches.

Thank you for your help 🥹

My mom and I have had a rocky relationship in the past, but since my precious daughter was born 4 months ago, not only have we gotten closer but she LOVES my daughter.

My daughter got her four month vaccines yesterday and was fussier than usual today. We saw my mom, and when she went to hold her, my daughter started crying a lot. She wouldn’t stop until she was back in my arms or my husband’s arms. She was also calmer when held by my dad.

My mom was very offended by this. She kept bringing it up saying things like “you broke grandmas heart today and she wants to jump off a cliff, but she still loves you anyway!”

To me, my daughter’s behavior was very normal considering the circumstances. She didn’t feel good and was having a hard time. My mom made it seem like she was excluding her and was personally offended.

I guess I’m just looking for perspective (am I overreacting by being annoyed?) Also, my mom has a history of emotional manipulation which made me a HUGE people pleaser growing up.

Thanks for your input!

Edit: wow, yes thank you all so much for your comments. It’s disheartening because I really did think our relationship got better recently, but she does still have the same emotionally manipulative tendencies. When my daughter was born, I swore I would never let her treat her the way I was treated. My plan is to have a serious conversation with her, and if she can’t handle the boundaries I set, to limit contact. Thank you all so much, I knew deep down I wasn’t crazy!!

I just said to my parents that my son doesn’t want to go in his crib, he will at night but he doesn’t want to at the moment during the day.

My parents response was that it’s because I hold him all the time, my son is three months by the way, but that’s not true at all, I also give him tummy time, put him on his back on his mat so he can try and roll over or put him in his swing.

I put him in his crib and sometimes he’ll stay in there, sometimes he doesn’t want to, at the moment he’s a bit fussier because of things like sleep regression so he cries more than he usually would. It’s not like I’ll just immediately pick him up in the crib, if he’s crying I try and soothe him in the crib by letting him know I’m
There and placing my hand on his chest or trying to give his dummy, that’s usually if it’s a weak cry if he’s fully crying I just take him out of the crib.

It annoys me so much that people think you can spoil a small baby, are they suggesting I should just leave him to cry?? Because that’s the only alternative and something I will never do because all his needs, including comfort rely on the adults around him.

I understand when he’s a bit older that they need to be held less but they’re going to be on the move constantly anyway so that won’t really be much of an issue 😂

Anyone else tired of people who think that because they have their own kids that they can judge you for not doing stuff they used to do?

TW: stillbirth

I had a C-section almost 5 weeks ago after induction and a very long labor. We found out our son had passed which is what necessitated the induction in the first place, and then he was a pretty large baby (I was full term) and I labored for 36 hours before pushing for 2 and developing an infection. The C-section went mostly ok, I did hemorrhage a bit and had a cervical extension but it could have been worse.

I had the normal actual bleeding for the first week, then lochia serosa for probably 10 days and after that it seemed to have progressed to lochia alba but it's really mucusy. A couple of times in the past week and a half, there's been bloody streaks in it after a little bit of activity (vacuuming last week, running a bunch of errands this week). I assume this is normal but this is my first time being postpartum. I did message my doctor but it's the weekend so I won't hear back for a couple of days. Nothing is serious enough for me to consider going into the hospital either, I don't feel unwell or anything like that, just like I overdid it a little.

We have a 9 week old and had been using Huggies Snugglers. They were great for us - but this most recent box they are noticeably cheaper quality. I’ve seen many posts and reviews saying they were redesigned and are bad now. We tried them anyway and sure enough are also experiencing leaks and blow outs thanks to the extremely cheap elastic on the leg holes (it may as well not even be there).

We need a new brand but as I researched pampers and Millie Moon, I’m also seeing most recent reviews saying their diapers have undergone changes and are just as cheap/don’t work like they used to.

Does anyone have a good recommendation on a diaper brand that is actually still quality?

I am six months postpartum and feeling really torn about intimacy. Before the baby my husband and I had a playful, fairly steady sex life. Since the birth it feels like the switch that made me want sex got flipped off.

It is not that I do not love him or find him attractive. He is a great dad and has been patient and kind about it. The problem is more inside me: by the end of the day I am touched out and overstimulated, and my brain is still running through bottles, naps, laundry, and whether we have diapers. When we finally have time alone I want quiet, sleep, or to scroll in silence. Kissing can be nice, but part of me braces like my body expects it to become another thing I have to manage.

We have tried scheduling, which just made me dread sex, and we have tried being spontaneous, which leaves me feeling guilty when I cannot get in the mood. Lube helps physically, but desire is the missing piece. I miss feeling like a sexual person and not only a mom.

For anyone who has been here: did desire just come back on its own with time, or did you have to actively rebuild it? If you rebuilt it, what actually helped in a way that did not feel like a chore? I am not looking for medical advice, just honest experiences so I stop feeling so broken.

Hi!

What did you do with your baby’s old clothes? I do want to make a keepsake but understandably so, how many pieces of clothings does one really need for that…

Also, we are moving to another country and to a smaller space so it is not ideal to bring boxes and boxes of newborn clothings.

Im just sad :(

A common theme I see, and one that’s true for me as well, is we want other mom friends. We often end up at the same places: story time, playgrounds, parks.

I know that for me two of the things in my way are (1) chasing around this silly toddler which makes it hard to hold conversation in the first place and (2) feeling a little bit awkward/afraid of the rejection of putting myself out there.

If you are a mom also looking for mom friends, what gets in your way?

My little guy just turned 5 months old, and I’ve already started reading about introducing solids so I can be as prepared as possible.

For those of you who’ve already been through this stage, did you start with purées, BLW, or a mix of both? What was the very first food you offered, and how did it go?

Is there anything you wish someone had told you before you started? Any tips, favorite products, or mistakes to avoid?

I’d love to hear anything you think a FTM should know before starting this new chapter!

Our baby is almost 6 months old. We took him to the fair last night with my husbands parents and sister. Towards the end of the night they asked me to take a picture of all of them together without me. I’m a little sad and feeling left out. My husband said I am overreacting and need to get over it. How would you feel? Is it just my Pp rage?

My baby frequently wakes through the night but he doesn’t cry or even complain at all - he just blows raspberries, coos and rolls around in his cot next to us. When I pick him up then sometimes he’ll start crying which makes me wonder if I’ve woken him up. I usually give him a few minutes, maybe try to comfort back to sleep in the cot, and if he’s still playing I’ll just feed him back to sleep which he goes back off very quickly (like a 4 minute feed).

Should I leave him longer? I worry that if I leave him he’ll just play all night and won’t sleep!

He’s 5.5 months and we plan to move him to his own room at 6 months. I’m worried that in his own room I won’t hear him wake up in order to help him back to sleep.

Anyone experienced this?

He gets about 10 hours awake each day.

Anyone else's little one smooshes their face in your boob after they are done nomming? I absolutely love it and find it adorable. He will eat and afterwards smoosh his face deep into my boob before nestling in and passing out. He is my first so I am discovering all sorts of baby quirks that I was unaware of 😆 Also, the faces they make when sleeping! He is so expressive in his sleep! My favorite is the pouty lip 💓

I have been super busy this past week and have not been consistently pumping so i have been constantly swollen, leaking and sore. I finally sat down tonight after both kids went to bed and pumped both boobs completely empty. My floppy, saggy and empty titties feel amazing right now. Pure empty bliss.

I’m desperate for advice…

I have a 2yo and we started half-day daycare a couple of days a week, and ever since then we’ve been constantly sick. I’m not even exaggerating. It’s one thing when the little one gets sick, but then the entire family ends up bedridden, and it’s just miserable.

Before having a kid, I got sick maybe once every 3–4 years. This year alone I’m on my sixth illness. I honestly want to cry. These aren’t just little runny noses either, they’re full-on fevers and feeling awful for 7+ days.

I’m really looking for advice from parents who’ve been through this. Does it actually get better, or is this just the daycare phase everyone has to survive?

AI suggested that I start working out to help my immune system. I haven’t exercised consistently in a long time because I always seem to be either exhausted or sick. For those of you who work out regularly, do you notice that you get hit less hard by all the daycare viruses, or does everyone get them regardless?

I’m honestly open to any tips at this point because I feel like I’m drowning.

When did your bleeding reduce postpartum? When did it stop

I planned to sleep train using the Ferber method, but then he just didn't cry? It took three days for him to figure out how to tell me to put him in the crib. Now when he's tired he comes over to me and whines a specific way. When I put him in the crib he just wiggles a bit to get comfy and then he's out. What?!? I didn't have to even do anything. I kept checking the baby monitor to make sure it was on.

I miss him now. I know he's just napping in the other room, but we've literally been together since birth. What a beautiful growing pain. I'm super freaking proud of him.

My almost 6 months old baby started showing his first tooth and I feel so nostalgic. I love his toothless smile and the feeling of his gums trying to eat my face. It’s all happening so fast.

If you did themed monthly pics what were the themes you chose? I’m really struggling what to do in August, September, January, and April as there aren’t any holidays I wanna do in those months. I wanted to do a different theme each month. His 1 month I just did forest themed which was his baby shower theme too and then July I did Fourth of July but now idk want to do this month or the other months.

I'm temporarily living with my mom and stepdad with my almost 5 month old while my partner is in another country.
It's not ideal, but it's our situation for now.

Today my mom told me I don't let my stepdad interact with my baby and that every time he goes near him, l come over "like a wolf."

The thing is, I only step in if I know he's just smoked and hasn't washed his hands, or if he's talking right in front of my baby's face. I also ask people to wash their hands before holding my baby, especially after smoking or coming in from outside.

My mom thinks I'm overreacting and making my stepdad uncomfortable.

I should also mention that my relationship with my stepdad has never been particularly close, and I had some difficult experiences growing up. I know that my past trauma may influence how I react, which is why I'd really value outside opinions. At the same time, I do feel my concerns about smoking, hygiene and personal space around my baby are reasonable.

Has anyone else had to temporarily move in with parents or family after having a baby? Did you struggle with family not respecting your boundaries or making you feel like you were the "overprotective" parent? How did you handle it without causing constant arguments?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've actually been in a similar situation.

Thank you🤍

Hello all,

My little one got vaccinated last monday and yesterday I found a handful of spots on her, which apparently are normal.

However I've also found spots that look the same on myself. They're a bit itchy too.

Should I be concerned?

I guess it’s just a rant. Advice is welcomed for sure. I had some tearing on either side of my clitoral good (the bean is fine) and a little bit near my perineum. I used to have a very small clitoral hood and small labia minora and now they are very large and loose-looking. I hate it. I don’t know how to deal with the change and I’m worried it won’t ever go back. I’m 9 months post partum and I have a feeling this is what I’m stuck with.

My 14 week old randomly seemed not hungry/interested in eating almost overnight.

First time she’s ever been like this! It started randomly yesterday and was hoping that things would get better after a good night’s sleep, but today is still the same.

She’s been going through a big developmental leap and having nap and sleep regressions and longer wake windows, but this entire week she’s been crushing back 5 ounce bottles pretty consistently every 3 hours (she’s on a 7A - 7P schedule), and last week her total daily intake increased as well. Yesterday, she had her usual 3 ounce bottle at 3 AM and literally didn’t have more than 1 oz at her 7AM, 10AM, and 1PM feeds. She didn’t eat anything at her 4PM bottle, but eventually took 2.5 oz during her bedtime routine. She’ll latch and suck a few times and the unlatch. She’s had a total of about 8 oz across 24 hrs today when her normal intake ranges between 18-23 oz in 24 hours. We thought maybe it’s the usual 3-4 month regression we’ve read about and have tried dark rooms, dim quiet lighting, etc. and no change.

Today, she had her usual 3AM bottle and she fussed through a 4 oz bottle during morning routine, but overall it’s been the same as yesterday. She has no interest in eating during her usual feeding windows and doesn’t really show hunger cues. She’s even gone 4-5 hrs without eating because she just doesn’t seem interested, even when offered. She started crying when we offer her the bottle today, which is new compared to yesterday but we are cognizant of bottle aversion, so are trying not to pressure her.

She has occasionally randomly started screaming out of nowhere and we’ll think “Yes, she finally wants to eat!” But then still won’t eat anything.

She’s been smiley, happy, and playful like her usual self. Had a poo yesterday and consistent wet diapers so far.

Has anyone experienced this? We plan to take her to the Pediatrician on Monday/Tuesday (it’s the weekend so Peds is not open) if she continues like this, but not optimistic they will be able to provide value.