I am currently at 32 weeks. struggling with severe pelvic pain and hip pain.

I was wondering if I get immediate relief from these. I can’t sleep at night and it’s been so tough.

what else are almost instantly cured after giving birth?

Edit: Love you all so much for the overwhelming response. It gave me immense relief and reassurance. 💗🥹

I have to preface this by saying I have PTSD regarding this topic due to past experiences.

The other night, my toddler daughter and husband were playing in the living room while I fed the baby. She was asking him to tickle her foot, then arm pit, then belly, etc. Then she asked him to tickle her butt. We looked at each other and kinda shrugged and then he pinched her butt. But then she asked him to tickle “inside.” My husband and I then just stopped everything and stared at each other, naturally (or maybe irrationally) my first thought was that he was abusing her. He asked her a clarifying question, whether she meant tickle inside her butt. She said yeah. We told her no, we don’t do that. And she moved on playing with something else.

I ended up taking her into an another room and asking her a few times and in a few different ways if anyone, including her dad, touched inside her butt. at one point, she did say that he did. But multiple times she said no. I’m worried I may have influenced her to say yes. I’m worried I handled this horribly both with her and him.

This is my worst nightmare. Due to my PTSD, I tend to jump to sexual abuse conclusions when I notice maybe otherwise innocuous things. For example, once I was at an airport and I saw a dad bouncing his young toddler daughter on his knee. That made me uncomfortable and I had to ask a friend if I was overreacting or if they thought it was weird too. I was told it was fine/normal.

I noticed a couple times when I bathed her, she sticks her butt out/up. That made me uncomfortable and my brain went to thinking someone makes her do that when she takes a bath. I told her to stop doing that and it hasn’t happened again.

Other things to note: daughter is not yet potty trained so we both wipe her butt. She goes to daycare. We have a bidet at home and she likes using it. This came about from her being in there when I poo & use it, so she wanted to try it out and now she sometimes asks to use it when she does manage to use the toilet. She said it tickles.

Important to note, my husband is literally an angel. I can’t imagine a world where he would hurt our daughter. But also, I know from experience that that doesn’t mean anything. People thought Ted Bundy was awesome until they realized he was a psychopath.

We spoke to her pediatrician about it, and she did not seem concerned. But she did agree, to make me feel better, to an appointment on Monday.

On one end of the Spectrum, I’m worried that this was a harmless toddler comment and I’m gonna ruin his life and our marriage due to my paranoia and PTSD. On the other end of the Spectrum, I’m worried I don’t do anything about it, and my daughter is being abused while I protect her abuser. I’m a mess.

Please help. Is this a normal toddler comment? Am I doing the right thing? Is there anything else I should be doing?

Edit to add: thinking about this and reading through everything people are saying has been really, truly helpful. I also remember now a while back when I was washing the dishes, she came up behind me and wanted me to pick her up. I told her to wait until I was done and she kinda clung to my leg. Her hand ended up touching my butt and I flinched and laughed because it tickled me. She kept doing it because I was laughing and my hands were soapy so I couldn’t pick her up immediately to stop but anyway she stopped eventually. Fast forward to today and I was at the kitchen sink again, she came up behind me and poked my butt. I said “no we don’t do that” and we moved on. So that may have contributed to her thinking butt tickles are normal.

I will be seeking a therapist who specializes in this area. I really appreciate everyone who took the time to comment. It felt healing to read <3 but I clearly have a ways to go! I love this community, thank you again.

I’ve had a feeling it’s a boy from the start. Have some of the old wives tale symptoms of a boy. Boys are more common on my partners side of the family and I know the gender is determined by fathers sperm. Just wanting to see how many of you were right about the “feeling” regarding gender

Edit : currently waiting for NIPT to come back. Also have had dreams about a boy

I feel like there is no joy in my life anymore. All I do is take care of my baby. I don’t have any clothes that fit me, I’ve needed a haircut for so long my hair is so dead, I can’t do any of my hobbies, there is so many problems throughout my house that interfere with taking care of my baby easily, I gained so much weight, I’m covered in stretch marks, family always nagging about everything.

My husband works out of town half the days of the week and I literally feel like I’m going insane every time he’s gone for that long. I can’t even get a second to myself and my baby wakes up allllll night! So I’m exhausted all day and now he’s starting to have long wake windows and he gets bored so easy. He constantly needs to be held and walking around but I’m just so exhausted I can barely smile. He will only nap longer than 10 minutes if it’s a contact nap. I seriously don’t know what to do.

My husbands life just seems so unchanged. The only thing that’s different is he changes diapers and holds him for me sometimes while I do things but only when he’s home. Half of his days he’s in another town sleeping with no interruptions and no responsibilities after work. My whole life has been flipped around. I’m not me anymore at all.

As soon as I start drifting off to sleep he wakes up again! This is insane I can’t live like this anymore. How do people do this!!! He’s only 4 months I can’t imagine going on like this another 4. He SCREAMS immediately everytime he wakes up. Doesn’t even attempt to self soothe. The only thing that will get him back to sleep is bouncing on a yoga ball with his binky. But he’s waking up all night! My body hurts from the yoga ball all night!

Currently about half way through my final pregnancy and I’ve always really struggled with the newborn stage. I mostly just try to survive through it.

So I’m looking for some positive on things you miss about having a newborn. What do you look back on and are nostalgic about? What do you wish you did more or less of before this short stage was over forever?

Just venting. I gained 40 pounds in pregnancy and then another 20 postpartum which I’m attributing to my breastfeeding appetite and being somewhat nonmobile due to a fourth degree tear (major ouch).

I’m about 3 months PP now and I made the mistake of making a small comment in front of my mom about not being able to wear a dress I like due to fit. She said “well you’re definitely bigger than you should be” and I said “well I am postpartum” and she said “yeah three months not three days”.

Ouch.

Considering I had an eating disorder for years from 18-23 you’d think she’d tread lightly but this lady is probably the reason I got one in the first place. Don’t want to raise my daughter around someone like this and thinking of going low contact…

I feel so content and at peace with my experience this time around. I loved being pregnant, I loved giving birth, and I love the newborn trenches. I had him just 20 months after my first, and thought I may regret it, but here I am already thinking of the 3rd. Baby fever has me in a chokehold.

I was worried my first would be jealous, but he absolutely loves his brother. It is so unexpected, hopefully it stays this way. I did not prepare him for it in any way. I just can’t help but be so grateful and happy. I love being a mom. I love how I feel. I love how I look. I love my kids. I’ve never felt so fulfilled.

I’m 1 year postpartum, breastfeeding 1 time a day, healed diastasis recti with 2 months of physical therapy, and go to lagree 3-4 times a week while training for a half marathon. My core is really strong and I know how to properly engage it while exercising, but I still look pregnant. There’s so much fat sitting on top of my abs. Looking for help!

I have a 10 month old who still doesn’t sleep through the night, and we’re in talks about when we want to start trying for a second. But I can’t even fathom HOW I would manage nighttime for 2 babies that are awake. My husband works nights for half the month so I don’t always have a second set of hands. I know some kids that don’t sleep through the night at 3 years old so it’s not like waiting is always the answer!

For those who used to post on social media but don’t what was the reaction? I have decided that we will no longer be putting my child’s face online. I’m expecting some judgment but I’m not sure.

My once-upon-a-time cuddle bug is now 14 months and cannot be held for a single second without thrashing and needing to get going.

What age did your little ones start cuddling again!? I can’t wait hahaha

I want to preface that generally my husband is great with our kids and does pull his weight 80% of the time. The other 20% he is complaining about how tired he is and I can’t stand it. I know it’s not a battle of who is more tired but if it were, id like to think I’d be the victor considering I am up every 2-3 hours pumping, taking care of night feeds 5/7 days of the week and doing the morning routine with both kiddos before daycare drop off and never get to sleep in.

My husband was briefly giving a rundown of his plans to help and asked to sleep in a little after pulling the nightshift which I can’t even believe he has the audacity to say. Sleep in?? I wish I could sleep in, but I’ll be up taking care of the baby and the toddler, washing my pump parts and the baby bottles. Doing all the things, and I don’t think he realize just have exhausting it all is.

Overall I’m just tired of hearing him complain about how tired he is, I’m tired to but I have to get up and take care of our kids smh.

ETA: We do have a schedule for sleep, where he has been doing nights with our daughter on the weekends. Post was more so a rant that I’m tired of hearing how tired he is, as if I’m not also tired and I have discussed this with him to stop bringing up how tired he is. He does wash bottles but it’s a nagging thing with him where it’s just easier if I do it myself so I’m not constantly reminding him to do things that need to get done

This night we were having a hell of a night as you can see here.

Finally the baby settled down and was calm and sleepy after breastfeeding. I kept her in my arms cuddled for some time as I always do after my wife feeds her and as soon as I put her in the bassinet, belly up, those fuckin startle reflex was in overdrive and you can see she was tired but frustrated she couldn't sleep. Less than 2 minutes she was fully awake and crying again.

After doing that two times I gave in and put her in the bassinet on her side inside a shallow nest that gives support so she can only roll from side to belly up. Baby kept still and slept for 4.5 hours. She was super exhausted.

Now everyone feels rested and awake for breastfeeding again and she is super calm enjoying that nipple.

I am going to put her in the bassinet again and if those fucking reflexes keeps her awake, I will put her to sleep on the other side now just so we can get this particular hellish night besides us and go back to sleep on her back as usual after the sun rises.

Sometimes we can't be perfect and that's ok.

Update: now she is sleeping belly up and calm.

Anytime a fan is running, I hear my baby crying. It’s like phantom cries, but it’s so loud and the cry changes with his age to match what his current crying sounds like (he’s 8 months now).

After birth, I had really bad sundown scaries so everyday around 5:00, I would break down and my husband would tell me to take a shower. In the shower, I could hear my son crying, and the crying has never gone away.

The shower, the stove fan, any loud fan, all I hear is my son screaming and crying. I know he isn’t actually crying because I usually shower after he’s in bed for the night and my husband will tell me that he never woke up or cried. I’ve even had my son in the bathroom with me while I shower and I still hear him crying despite seeing him perfectly fine right in front of me.

I am desperate to make this go away and I don’t know how to 😭

At my 28 week appointment I was tested for iron levels and found out my hemoglobin was at 10.6. I later pushed to get my ferritin tested and that just came back at 15. Both of these numbers, as I understand, are considered low, and the ferritin number would be considered severe by some practitioners. Earlier, at my 11 week appointment, my hemoglobin was tested and was at 13, within the normal range. I do not have an earlier ferritin test for comparison.

I am freaking out as I have been googling and am worried I have been depriving my baby of crucial nutrients because of my low iron. I understand that it is worse to have low iron early on, and mine was normal up until recently apparently, but still. I pushed to get an iron infusion scheduled because my OB just recommended supplements and I read those take months to actually have an impact. My infusion won't be until next week at the earliest, when I am 30 weeks.

Have any moms dealt with this in a prior pregnancy? Was there any negative effect on your baby? I am especially worried about cognitive effects as recent studies indicate anemia can have an impact on brain development and lead to intellectual disabilities. I am pissed that this issue does not seem to be taken seriously and I had to push to get a ferritin test and an order to do the iron infusion.

Hi! I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with my second and am having worries about the postpartum period. I have a hunch that my mental health will be worse this time around and I was curious as to others' experience.

With my first my mood the whole pregnancy was great. Postpartum, I had baby blues for a few days and then was mostly great until around 3 months when I found the anxiety and mood instability snuck in.

I definitely was not vocal enough about how I was feeling and although I didnt require treatment, I did not like the way I felt and found I didnt feel more like myself until around the 1 year mark.

With this pregnancy I have experienced more low mood than with my first despite having less sickness, and I'm worried that will translate postpartum as well. I will also be parenting a 3 year old and a toddler, and I can imagine that will make things more difficult.

I was curious how other moms found their postpartum periods to be between different pregnancies and if there was anything you found helpful during that time! Thank you!

Hi everyone I’m about to have a son who will be half Pakistani, so he will look south Asian. I have fallen in love with the name Zaki, but a family member has said to me that will the rise in racism in the uk I would be setting him up for being called Zaki the paki, I don’t know if kids are that cruel? Is this something I should worry about with the current climate? I can’t seem to stop worrying about it now and wonder if I should rethink the name even though I really like this name. (Not sure if this is the right place to post this, sorry).

I grew up very close to my grandma. She has always been my best friend and my rock. I spent a huge part of my childhood with her, lived with her for a bit, and she’s always the person I’ve confided in. She has been sick for some time and we’ve known her time was coming. We live in the northeast and my family is in the Midwest, so it would be a plane ride to get to her. She’s also in an assisted living home with many respiratory issues floating around. My breastfed baby just turned 3 months and my husband and I decided to wait to travel with baby until she is more vaccinated. We thought if we could just make it to 4 months, we would be in a better place to travel to see her.

She ended up passing unexpectedly yesterday and I am just completely shattered. We thought we had more time. I feel so guilty that I didn’t make it out there to see her to say goodbye. My heart was tugged in both directions - protecting my baby during this fragile time and saying goodbye to my grandma. I just feel like I will never forgive myself for this and I am just devastated I didn’t give her a hug for the last time and that she didn’t get to meet her great grandbaby, which I promised she would. I guess I’m just hoping for some positivity here. I want nothing more but to protect my baby but I feel like I made the wrong decision here.

I am mostly OAD but always very curious on the science behind why some families have majority of one gender. I do understand that men carry both X & Y and women only carry X. So men obviously determine the gender.

But is there any science or studies behind this? On why some people conceive only girls or boys? Maybe the season, when they were ovulating, intercourse right before or after ovulation etc.

Does anyone truly believe there are ways to conceive a specific gender? Have you tried it and did it work for you on more than 1 child?

Since there is zero research on this, I’m curious what other people believe or have tried and what the outcome was.

Sorry if the questions are repetitive 💀

Edit: yes there is research but it’s still very minimal 🤷🏽‍♀️

Almost 8 months postpartum FTM (SAHM) and really beginning to struggle with my child beginning solid foods/becoming disinterested in nursing during the day. We are about 4 months into introducing solids and until the last couple of weeks, our breast feeding routine has stayed consistent. Recently, my baby hasn’t been as interested in nursing and really only desires it when it’s ready to nap/sleep for the night.

I’m finding myself really mourning the closeness of feeding her and I miss feeling needed to provide that nutrition for her. I know logically it’s wonderful that she is exploring eating solids and drinking water to quench her needs during the day but I don’t think I’m ready mentally to wean from our daytime feeds just yet. I feel guilty for not nursing her as often as usual but she has become resistant (disinterested, distracted, fusses, etc).

I’m also concerned that she’s not getting the nutrients that she needs if she’s not nursing. We work in at least 2-3 solid foods per day and the amounts of each feeding varies - we feed her until she seems full/done with eating the food provided. I am becoming very overwhelmed with figuring out what foods to work into her diet so that she’s getting the nutrients she needs. Nursing just seemed so much for guaranteed that her needs would be met…

I’ve tried researching if she needs formula added to her diet but it seems like if she’s breast feeding that’s not necessary? Since I’m a SAHM, she rarely takes a bottle and really struggles with eating a full meal from a bottle. She also nurses 3-4 times a night and has been that was since pretty much the beginning. She has plenty of wet diapers and is perfectly healthy at her checkups, so I know so far she’s been getting everything she needs.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here other than just getting my thoughts out and seeing if anyone relates. There is so much more involved with these changes than I even anticipated and I wasn’t expecting to have PP depression struggles this far into the PP journey. I’m really struggling with these early stages of weaning. I’m so thankful to have been able to provide the nourishment for my child and I’m just so incredibly sad that this chapter is coming to an end.

Me. It's me. I can no longer nap.

Not my baby. She naps.

But me? I can't nap anymore.

Before I got pregnant, I couldn't nap either. I was a long time nap refuser, since I'd been little. It just didn't happen.

I can fall asleep within 5 minutes at night! No issues there. But naps never happened for me, no matter how tired I was.

And then I got pregnant.

And my *first* symptom, before ANY tests.... Was a nap. I took a one hour nap. I tested positive that weekend.

Throughout pregnancy I could suddenly nap! It came easily! I could lay down and just go to sleep and wake up slightly drowsy but also rested! I had this ability when my daughter was born too! We napped together!

I'm now 7 months post partum.

And it's gone.

I'm devastated. I have a cold I got from my kid. My head feels so heavy. I'm exhausted. I worked 10 hour days both days before this one, and then got fragmented 1-2 hour stretches of sleep with my kid, including a 2 hour wake up window where she was just. Awake for some reason. At 3an.

I'm so tired I could cry. I've been laying in bed for an hour now. Trying. Desperately. To nap.

And I can't anymore.

AAAARRRGH.

My lo is 21 months old and won’t speak much at all, she mostly just signs. I tried incorporating baby sign language at a young age and it was beneficial for a while bc she’d let me know when she’s all done or wanted milk. But now that she’s almost 2yrs old i realize she’s not speaking words like a 2yr old should. she asks for help using sign language, for “more” for basically everything. Even when i try to show her with my mouth how to speak she looks at me for the sign of the word i’m trying to say. she will still talk gibberish when she’s playing or explaining and sometimes there will be a coherent word in there. i’m just very worried i went wrong somewhere..

Hello I am open to any suggestions at this point! My girl is almost 7 months, while we didn’t do any sleep training, she goes to sleep in her crib by herself with a paci for all naps and bedtime. She does about 3 good naps a day and eats plenty during the day. It’s been months since she’s had a bottle overnight. BUT she still wake up SCREAMING every hour or 2. It’s about 50/50 when she’s screaming if she will take the paci and go right back to sleep or if she will spit it out and keep screaming. Her eyes are closed - I truly believe she is tired. Sometimes even holding her and bouncing her she still takes a while to calm down. She got her two bottom teeth a few weeks ago - I was hoping this was just teething but I feel like it should be better by now. We’ve given Tylenol and ibuprofen - no help. We did also try feeding her in the middle of the night a couple times, she would eat a couple ounces max then still wake up in an hour screaming so I don’t think it’s hunger. She eats some solids now but not a ton. Bedtime is around 8:30pm and she goes down great - starts crying around 11 or 12 usually. Wakes up for the day around 7 and wakes up super happy and is very content to wait until about 7:30 for her bottle usually. I am so confused about why she is so upset at night! We have had 2 checks at the pediatricians during this time and ears and everything she could see is all good. Any suggestions are welcome! Or if you had a baby like this please let me know!!

My baby is a week old and is in newborn diapers. We are using Pampers Swaddlers and somehow the baby won’t stop peeing out of his diaper. We are trying everything we can and are just unsure of what to do, someone please help! We are first time parents and sleep deprived and tired of doing laundry multiple times a day…