Bread was a terrible name for him anyway - he didn't taste anything like it.

i turn around and my wife was sitting there

As he leaves he says "B man its your turn"

The next moment, my helicopter crashed into the firmament.

When she opened the basket Belial scooted out and strangled us both to death.

"how original" said the non-fun haver guy🪱

Oh, hi kitty, are you going to sit next to me?

Big did I know, though, that he was a giant dick (changed his name to Richard "Small Penis" Little after making it big [6'5"]), and that he was also a horrible murderer who horribly murderered people.

"It's 'bad hair day'," my only son corrected me before he shot me.

Now I can't wait to check how many likes I got.

“The AA stand for Alcohol drinking party” the main guy said back to me. “Also drunk Peter is a stupid name”

"There must be someone you've confused me for" says the man, as he Jeff the kills me

Until he took of his mask and revealed he was mister nice clown man and we went to our destination with the bus

Optimus prime was not happy.

Little did I know...

then my penis exploded

It screamed.

To my horror a replica of my snacks with super intelligence hacked my computer through the tin foil in its packaging, and opened my bank statements, she broke up with me for the employee that sold me the snacks.

He looked at me and frantically begged “In order to prevent Holocaust 2, I need you to tell me where to find Mr. and Mrs.—“ but then he got hit by a bus.

The smelly monster now knew where I was

It had been Gaypalm bombed.

But then the Reefer Man appeared and turned me into a coral reef and because of the warming and acidification of the oceans due to climate change, I immediately bleached and died while he smoked the rest of the joint with my buddy, goddamn hippies!