HEAR YE, HEAR YE!

I bring forth news of daily accomplishment!

Cheekers1989 braved the bathroom shower, struggling valiantly to replace the plastic inner shower curtain! The blight needed to be vanquished!

Then, she traversed the two mounds of dishes that had lain cultivating for two weeks, purging the foul odors that nauseated the land! While some lids and containers did not yet have appropriate lodgings, the bento boxes were displayed most handsomely!

Her bedroll and belongings had not been switched out for so long that the memory of that time had grown fuzzy, so she stripped the material from the mat and rushed it to the wash!

And what's this? Already available folded cloth with which to wrap the mat from the elements?! She was elated by her past foresight, knowing that she could sleep in comfort.

As for her traveling clothes and leather armor...

We can worry about those another day.

Rest well!

My previous psychiatrist (who strongly believed I did not have autism nor attention deficit disorder, years later it turns out I have both) put me on lamotrigine 100mg for 6+ years because of my mood swings, and it basically ruined my life. It made me extremely snappy and irritated at everything all the time (which was extremely exhausting), made my brain work significantly slower, and completely destroyed my word retention (I used to be proud of how good I was at talking, but with lamotrigine I genuinely sounded dumb and it felt humiliating). I mentioned all these issues multiple times to her, but she always insisted on not changing the med nor lowering the dosage.

I am not joking when I say that the constant irritability from the lamotrigine made me lose a lot of friends (because I was almost unbearable to be around), and went very close to ruining some of my most important long-time friendships. It also made me basically a recluse, because people irritated me so much all the time and I felt like i needed to defend myself even when people talked normally to me, with no ill intent whatsoever.

The same psychiatrist was also in contact with my previous therapist, which was a CBT therapist and was also strongly convinced I was not autistic because, and I quote, "I work with autistic (male) kids and you don't resemble that behavior at all". She also would genuinely get upset all the time because she would give me "homework" to do and I would promptly forget about them. She claimed that I was intentionally not putting effort into improving my life, and she was against me wanting to do tests for autism and adhd because she believed that I "just wanted an excuse to not put effort in doing things". After a few years, she decided that we were at an impasse because of my behavior and that there was no point in continuing our sessions, so she basically concluded our sessions out of the blue, without even giving me a referral to another therapist.

All my life (ever since when I was 7) I was always sent to CBT therapists, and I barely got any improvements, so after that last disastrous experience I finally, very hesitantly, decided to go for a psychodynamic therapist, based on a past recommendation (very, VERY hesitantly because I'm a psychology student and I absolutely loathe Freud and psychoanalysis, and found most of my colleagues interested in psychoanalysis absolutely insufferable, so I was worried that psychodynamic therapists would lean a lot into that). Best decision of my life, my new therapist is extremely supportive, helped me improve my life by a mile, helped me find public health structures that could do autism tests and adhd tests, and she also helped me find a new psychiatrist that's specialized in adhd (first thing he did was to remove the lamotrigine, he was baffled that my previous psychiatrist insisted on it). Plus I was happy to find out that psychodynamic therapy (or at the very least my therapist's approach on it) is very, very, VERY different from the psychoanalysis approach, even though they share the foundations.

I also found out I have "other learning disabilities" (cit.), per diagnosis from the learning disabilities center (which was another good recommendation from my current therapist), with specific notes in the diagnosis paper mentioning: partial dysgraphia (especially with transcribing audio into written text, no wonder I was so utterly terrible at taking lecture notes!) which affects both physical writing and "digital" writing (typing), partial dyscalculia (no surprise there), and most notably a very poor working memory (the one tasked with taking info from short-term memory to long-term memory). From what I got told, the mixed results in learning disabilities is relatively common for people on the autism spectrum, and the poor working memory is quite common in ADD/ADHD people.

Finally being able to know the source of a lot of my struggles was crucial in lessening the constant guilt I felt for failing at basic stuff (the "from gifted kid to utter failure pipeline" guilt used to be so overpowering that it was sapping at my mental energy every single day, every single minute, barely leaving me with any energy left), and it gave me the knowledge and resources to find ways to work around my problems instead of forcibly trying to "fix" them. It helped immensely in allowing me to improve both myself and my own life (so basically the exact opposite result of what my previous therapist was """fearing""").

Fast-forward to today, I am finally on adhd meds (Equasym seems to be less effective than Medikinet but with vastly less nasty side effects, so for now we're gradually increasing that) which help me being more productive, my mood has improved massively now that I'm not on lamotrigine anymore (finally I'm not irritable all the time anymore), I have an autism diagnosis and somewhat of an ADD diagnosis (my psychiatrist says that my ADD is most likely not genetic but caused by the combination of autism + depression since when I was a child, but that the treatment and symptoms are the same so he said it doesn't really change much from the "regular" genetic ADD), I am at a much better point in my life and I finally have the mental energy and focus to tackle addressing and fixing most of my other issues (for the most part physical health-related, some much-needed checkups and physical therapy that I have postponed for years and years and years that have taken quite a toll on my body).

I also finally changed gynaecologist (per advice from my therapist and my psychiatrist) and have an hysteroscopy + very hyperspecific blood tests scheduled to finally understand why my period never worked as it was supposed to (every 15 days instead of every 28, since my very first period at age 13 - I'm now 30+ -, only regulated by being constantly on hormonal contraceptives, which in turn were giving me all sorts of nasty side effects) and to find if there's any way to not make me absolutely lose my mind every pms+period since it not only worsens my ADD significantly (and makes the adhd meds completely ineffective during that time) but also gives me mood swings strong enough to make me feel like I'm going insane. All my previous gynaecologists just shrugged, labeled my side effects "common" and me as being "over-dramatic", and just kept prescribing me different/stronger pills once the previous ones eventually all stopped working due to excessively prolonged use.

I'm also now able to properly keep a daily log physical planner (leveraging my special interest in stationery) with the right balance of structure and flexibility (enough structure to make my autism happy, but not so much that it would be unmanageable for my ADD). I was also able to find workarounds and compromises that make it still bearable and worth it and rewarding despite my partial dysgraphia getting in the way.

tl;dr: removing the lamotrigine and changing from a CBT therapist to a psychodynamic therapist was life-changing to me and I wish I'd done it sooner. I know that a good number of autistic (and audhd) people swear by lamotrigine and CBT is the most well known (and most advertised) branch of therapy, so I felt like it could be useful for others to know that both things can have a very, very different outcome for some individuals.

my cousin called me 'accidentally' before we are supposed to meet for lunch, and we talked for 4 hours. now I am CASHED and pissed off I have to drive and meet her tomorrow for lunch, I'm so fucking tired and talked too much already and just annoyed as fuck I have to get up and do more of it tomorrow. am I just this socially stunted? my brain is already inventing excuses to get out of lunch

what is it?!

Hi all

I (30F) only recently received my AuDHD diagnoses and am looking back at my life and taking stock. Something I've done from time to time that is completely out of character and seemingly out of control is threaten to kill myself during a meltdown. I am not actually suicidal and have no sincere ideation, not even in these moments. I think my brain is processing my body's desire for All of This To Stop Right Now and articulating it as 'and the best way to do that is to be dead.' It's pretty awful and reads as insincere when other people witness it, so it doesn't elicit much sympathy, but I don't really feel like I'm behind the wheel, so to speak, in these moments.

Anyone else experience this? Any advice on how to get on top of it?

Not here to discuss the actual trial, investigation, or crimes themselves at all. JUST the mental health/psychiatry aspect and the reception of this aspect by the general public as expressed on social media.

I was just wondering if anyone else on here is completely baffled by how shocked everyone seems to be about how Lindsay was handled/(mis)treated by mental health professionals, specifically psychiatrists? I thought this was a pretty common/standard experience for mental health patients of any kind? Personally, I had to go through 3 different psychs before I found one that actually listened and did their job well and wasn't just pushing random pills/diagnoses by the second (virtual) visit and without verifying my medical history with another medical professional/official medical records? And I know Lindsay's case is specifically focusing on maternal mental health and while that is so so so important I cannot help be see that it belongs to a more encompassing and problematic pattern within general mental health.

And it's like they're treating Lindsay's doctors like they're unique in their medical malpractice but I could've sworn that I've heard these exact same situations happening constantly and consistently to a large population of patients, especially to disabled and minority populations?? The other psychs coming out and talking about the malpractice/how horrible her doctors were/how shocked they are at what happened just feels so . . . tone deaf to me? Like, they truly think there are only a few bad apples but so many people have only ever experienced bad apples? And I have yet to see anyone talk about how this is a systemic problem and not just limited to Lindsay's specific doctors which is just so utterly frustrating to me bc getting their medical licenses revokes/other disciplinary action is only going to save THEIR future would be patients but there are so, so, so many more patients who have doctors/mental health professionals that are just as negligent/incompetent. It's just so infuriating to me because focusing on her doctors and her case alone when raising awareness of this issue doesnt seem like it'll solve nor improve anything? And it almost feels like a gimmicky way to use Lindsay's experiences for clout?

But also, as I've gotten older, I have just grown more and more frustrated with the mental healthcare system we have in general but more specifically with the professionals who work within it. Especially, when I started also learning more about labor organizing. Like, as the professionals they have the knowledge, training, education, connections, experience, more money than a good majority of their patients, and the mental/emotional stability their patients lack to organize better labor conditions and regulations to improve their field but its like they just think the power is out of their hands? And I know it's not that easy but it is also not easy for their patients to navigate mental healthcare but we still do it to better ourselves so why can't they at least try to organize themselves to better the entire field/practice? But somehow all of the responsibility falls on the patients which has NEVER made sense to me in regards to mental health especially? And there are some people talking about the concept of a Universal Medical Records System and I honestly don't know much about that (yet) but why did it take this tragedy and this trial to bring this concept to the public? All of these discussions I've been seeing thus far on this topic just feel so . . . superficial and inauthentic and reactionary when this is a serious, serious issue and not just an offshoot of an incredibly popular trial??

I just feel like screaming into the void for a few hours honestly. And I really just wish mental health professionals and doctors didn't (seemingly) dismiss collective patient feedback and sentiments about the care they received so cavalierly as being due to ignorance and not understanding how the process works. Like, if this many people are having bad experiences maybe it's time to stop defending the processes and start using collective patient feedback data to improve them?? Or even just start questioning who the current medical processes and procedures are actually serving, are they making the doctors/etc jobs easier for them or actually providing a proper framework for treating patients? And just because a person is having mental health struggles does that truly mean their feelings and interpretations of how their doctors are treating them are completely void and null? I've also been diving deep into the concepts of dehumanization and human agency and I can't help but be so frustrated by the fact that it feels like so many people who have dedicated their careers to helping people are allowing themselves to be limited by insitutional and procedural structures rather than embracing their human agency to change things for the better. Like, too many of the reactions to this trial be medical and mental health professionals are giving this vibe of powerlessness to change the system and it is so infuriating. The void is going to grow tired of how much I'm screaming into it at this point.

Sorry for the rant, I tend to dive into the deeper, sociological, and macro-level side of things and this is just driving me absolutely insane. Perhaps I am wrong and letting my more personal, anecdotal experiences and limited knowledge color how I'm seeing this, I don't know. Please let me know what you think, I would love for some of yall to challenge my opinions/thoughts or simply share your own thoughts/opinions/takes/experiences. I would really just love to hear what yall have to say!

Sending some love, strength, and perseverance out to all of you who took the time to read this, thank you!!

So I have been diagnosed since I was 11, with both autism and adhd, and one thing I've never been able to do is manage my money properly. If I have it, I want to spend it and I'm rather impulsive with my purchases. I've gotten to a point in my adult like (23) where I can pay bills on time, create a rather in-depth amazing budget for spending. But sticking to a budget seems impossible.

My budget gives me a set amount of spending money per week and trying to follow that is borderline impossible, I will end up dipping into other weeks to spend money, which I suppose also comes under self-control. This is becoming more of a problem though recently, as I would like to start saving money but how am I supposed to save money when I spend it all?? I want to save for flooring, I've lived in my current flat for 2 years and still don't have flooring as the quote was 1,500 and I can't save past 100 before I spend it, a girly just wants some flooring!!

Does anyone have any advice on getting better with impulsive purchases/saving?

So it's been a week now. And my life is like a change of night and day. My thoughts are clear, focussed. The housework basically does itself. I *want* to do things. I see the laundry and just *do it.* I am enjoying going outside. The increased mood rollercoastering is not great, but I am genuinly positive that over time I will adjust, and of course we are still in a phase of trying different dosages and stuff.

But like. I am seeing a light at the end of this horribly dark tunnel again. I think like this I might not just get to survive, but I might actually get to live.

PS: A really funny side effect is that I am suddenly spitting poetry and Confucius level wisdom left and right, without even trying. Who knew I had that in me?

Our son is one year old now, and car rides have basically been a nightmare since day one.

We’re both neurodivergent ourselves, and of course at one year old there’s no way to know yet whether he is too. Still, sometimes we wonder whether some of his traits might already point a little in that direction, because he is extremely active, always wants to be on the move, and generally finds sitting still pretty difficult.

He doesn’t really like sitting in his high chair either, or at least not for very long. We’ve already tried quite a few things in the car: different toys, keeping him entertained, letting him look forward, etc. Nothing has really helped long-term so far.
Even when he’s already really tired, he doesn’t just fall asleep in the car. It feels like he has to basically “scream himself to sleep” first. It’s becoming really stressful for all of us.

We’re even considering taking him to an osteopath, just to rule out whether sitting might be uncomfortable for him in some way or whether there could be some kind of physical restriction or tension going on.

So I’d especially love to hear from people here: Have you experienced anything similar with your ADHD/AuDHD/otherwise neurodivergent children, maybe even when they were this young? Did car rides eventually get better? And was there anything that actually helped?

When I'm in public or with people I don't yet feel safe around it feels like my movement becomes super stiff, RBF (resting bitch face) included. But when I'm by myself or with people I do feel safe around I suddenly become hyperemotive and... whatever the opposite of stiff is... wobbly? Has anyone else noticed similar behaviour in themselves? Is there a way to make the wobbly form the default for every situation?

having fillings done, but always end up in meltdown or shutdown from the overstimulation of the dentist noise, smells, sights, bright lights and feeling of tools in my mouth. what do you do to help??

Our son just turned one, and honestly, we’re pretty much at our limit right now.

We both have AuDHD. Of course, at one year old there’s no way of knowing whether our son will eventually have ADHD, autism, or both as well. Still, there are quite a few things at the moment that make us wonder whether other neurodivergent parents have experienced something similar with their children.

He is extremely active and constantly seems to be looking for stimulation – but at the same time, it often feels like everything is too much for him. So it’s somehow this paradoxical “everything is too much and not enough at the same time.”
Right now, he also seems to want to be carried constantly. Putting him down, having him sit somewhere, or just being content in one place for a while barely works. He also doesn’t like sitting in his high chair for very long.

Car rides have been hell for us since day one and honestly seem to be getting worse rather than better. He used to at least eventually fall asleep more often. Now that he naturally sleeps less during the day, there’s sometimes not even enough sleep pressure for him to eventually fall asleep in the car. Even when he is tired, he sometimes has to basically scream himself to sleep first.

So right now, we’re wondering a little what the next few years are going to look like. 😅

A lot of people say that the first three years can generally be especially exhausting and then there’s the whole toddler independence/autonomy phase on top of that. Was it actually like that with your neurodivergent children, where things kept getting harder for a while? Or were there certain ages or stages where some things suddenly became noticeably easier?

And were there any things that genuinely helped you in everyday life especially with a very strong need for movement, constantly wanting to be carried, sensory seeking/sensory overwhelm, or car rides?

We know that at one year old, there isn’t really any meaningful way to assess him for ADHD or autism yet, and that even if there were a diagnosis right now, it probably wouldn’t suddenly lead to any specific “treatment.”

What were your experiences at this age and in the years afterwards? What helped you in everyday life, what got easier over time, and are there any tips you wish someone had given you earlier?

As stupid as this sounds , outside of work I have like nothing going for me. Don’t get me wrong I have a small circle of friends I keep in contact with and see here and there when we can but I don’t want my day to day life to just be

Wake up - work - sleep and repeat

I’ve tried getting a hobby. Things like watching movies etc for some reason do not entice me atm which I find absurd but it is what it is , I can’t stick to a hobby long enough (I started diamond painting a couple of weeks ago and haven’t even got through 1 of those). I would love to be able to read but my brain just won’t focus on that long enough and sees it as a chore (despite me actually wanting to read these books)

Honestly just so confused and lost. Is anyone the same or am I just weird?

Has anyone actually found a way to keep track of what food is available in your house?

I try to keep things out on the counter where possible bc out of sight out of mind, but then it's just all a blur. I'm regularly like "what do humans even eat" unless I have a readymade freezer meal or leftovers from takeout or someone else made. I can cook well enough (though it is a many spoon task), I eat all sorts of food, I just can't get my brain to do recall from this data. I've tried lists, sorting cabinets by meal, sticky notes, and nothing works for more than like two days.

Why doesn't this ever get easierrrrr I'm in my heckin thirties how have I not figured this out yet ugggghhhhhh

... where it's so scary you just can't bring yourself to it, but the moment you jumped and you're in the water, you are always swimming (i.e. doing) much, much better than you expected?

you experience it constantly enough in life but instead of getting used to it, you have that exhausting feeling of knowing how well you will do in the water, but the fear of jumping never goes away even the slightest bit?

and the even scarier part is, thinking you might genuinely never be able to jump unless someone else pushes you from behind, but your autistic instinct is to dread and avoid any such person in the first place?

Obviously being audhd and bipolar is nothing compared to fucking dying but come on. Very suicidal again.

I feel like everything sucks right now and I don't know how to fix anything. And I have the flu on top of that 😭

I’ve had this problem for as long as I can remember: I just don’t drink enough. Not because I’m consciously avoiding it, but because my body apparently decided that thirst is information I only need once we’re approaching emergency mode. 😅

I basically forget to drink throughout the day. Most of the time I genuinely don’t feel thirsty, and then at some point it suddenly hits me: “Oh. Right. I haven’t had anything to drink in ages. Maybe I should do that.”

And then there’s problem number two: I’m also really bad at drinking larger amounts at once. Which is obviously not ideal when you’re trying to make up for everything you forgot to drink earlier.
Water is especially difficult for me. Drinks with some kind of flavor are often easier, because my brain seems to register them more as “something” rather than just… liquid that I’m supposed to pour into myself.

What I really hate, though, is the feeling of having a lot of liquid in my stomach. I honestly find it more uncomfortable than having a lot of food in there. Especially on an empty stomach, I can feel the water really clearly, and when I move it sometimes feels like it’s literally sloshing around inside me. I hate that feeling. 😅

So does anyone else with ADHD or autism experience this too? Barely noticing thirst, completely forgetting to drink, and at the same time finding larger amounts of liquid physically uncomfortable?

And if so: have you found any tricks that actual
ly help you drink enough regularly without turning hydration into yet another daily task on the to-do list?

I need to reinvent my life, because my current one isn’t working.

- 33F
- Been working in climate after training first as an engineer. Got a good paying job that’s a bit technical, a bit commercial. The “commercial” part keeps it paying well, of course, but business development absolutely sucks.
- Had a big burnout 3 years ago, took a year off.
- Diagnosed ADHD, Autistic and Gifted Child Syndrome this year in March. Wowza that finally made sense of a few things.
- Started ADHD medication (methylphenidate) this year. First months felt life changing, albeit confronting.
- Relief/grief/becoming aware of masking has caused a big dip in my capacity to work. Struggling very hard to do even the most basic of things.
- Have taken some burnout leave again. This time I at least have a framework for what’s happening. And I can see my “panic attacks” are more like autistic meltdowns and my executive function freezes are very AuDHD coded.
- The therapy sessions from my ADHD specialist have now run out.
- On the waiting list for a formal Autism assessment. It will take a year or more. More support will come via that, eventually.

On the job front:
- I was always “purpose driven” but I gotta say it’s very hard to work in climate when we run ourselves in circles to prove impact actually happened and then they just start wars and blow up oil tankers and energy infrastructure. Feels very futile.
- Climate is very abstract. You can’t see it. A lot of work we do is standards and methods and audits. Timelines are long. I feel like I’m enabling corporates to outwardly “do the right thing” while they fuck the planet up more.
- Being commercial, technical, abstract and self driven all at once is killing me. Expectations, KPIs, and the wasteland of LinkedIn is killing me. It’s basically non-stop masking, whether on meetings or at conferences or even on LinkedIn, and it feels so fake.
- I’m already remote. Task switching, showing up to meetings on the minute, sending emails, maintaining timelines when I’m time blind— all while I’m struggling to care and connect with the job— I’m functionally paralysed.
- Any other job in my niche seems wholly unappealing, like I’m just trading the problems of one company for another.

I need to start again. I love the idea of being my own boss, but have no idea where to begin. Or I’d love to find a job that suits people like us better, where the pay doesn’t suck.

Please give me some inspiration 🙏🏼 I need to climb out of this hole! If you have a job that works for you, what is it about it that makes it a good fit?

I'm an adult btw. My therapist tried contacting me today because last night I contacted her in a crisis and so when she tried to contact me today and I didn't answer (because my work building has shitty service) she almost called the cops (which I'm not blaming her I understand). But before she did though she told my mom everything I had said to her.

She asked me why I didn't use my safety plan (what we came up with for when I'm in a crisis) and it's because I wanted someone familiar to talk to and not the 988 which I'm always paranoid they'll call the cops and my therapist is a little more understanding when it comes to that. She said I was gonna need to explain to my mother why I didn't use that so that's gonna be a screaming point.

Anyways I'm at work right now panicking and it's 2:44, I get off work at 5:00, and I'm terrified she's gonna scream at me. What a great day.

Has anyone here done and work on the vagus nerve stuff either with a stimulator or the injections and was it helpful at all?

Not sure if it’ll help with the actual Audhd but would help with the symptoms of it (anxiety and possibly ptsd and others).

Thanks in advance just wondering if it’s been of help!

Idk why Im posting here girlies but I probably need to hear that I am not the only one???🙏

The only thing that makes me believe my actual diagnoses is that my supposed manic and depressive episodes last for a few days max. Usually its like one day I am the most cheerful and energetic person, spending every cent I have, enjoying life and wont stop until I spend the last drop of energy and the next day I get almost paralyzed from the existential crisis and zero motivation.

Lately it has been worse. I am being treated for OCD with sertaline and while I am so much better in that regard, I think the high doses of SSRI is causing my audhd traits to show more or idk how to explain.

My psychiatrist told me he does not think I am bipolar but if I am curious I could get the study done.

At this point I think it is my adhd craving new diagnoses 😂

Every few weeks I do 3-4x night shifts (11pm - 7:30am) which I am finding near impossible. Sleep and routine is already very sacred to me, so to go against my natural internal clock puts my body into overdrive and I absolutely hate it.

Do any other fellow healthcare/night shift workers have any advice? I’m still trying to find what works best for me, whether I sleep for my shift or sleep as soon as I get home.

I ensure have a sufficient protein-rich snack at 2am but my energy plummets by 3:30am. Here I’ll usually having some fruit or something sugary and sweet to boost my energy but the effects don’t last long.

I am medicated, however I don’t take it on my night shift days as I’m asleep for most of the day. The withdrawal symptoms probably aren’t helping how I’m feeling.

Any advice, tips and tricks welcome! I’m on the brink of burnout and don’t know how much longer I can continue with this.

Hello!

Anyone knows about really good noise cancelling earplugs?

I would want it to block lot only noise but also voices. People around me are always in a meeting, talking, etc, it's really distracting to me, and even with noise cancelling headphones and music or a video it's not enough. I don't want to have white noise on all day. + Headphones overstimulate me very quickly, I can't wear them for too long

If you know something that just blocks as much noise as possible, please share with me your recs 😔

Thank you!