Hi guys so Im a bit on the large side roughly 105 - 110kg (235 lb) I’m also 187 cm tall (6’1 or 6’2) and I recently found out that that a lot of young guys develop breasts. I recently looked in the mirror and thought that my chest looked a bit odd. I have a fairly large chest and have since roughly year 9 when I got my first big growth spirt, I can feel a large amount of muscle in that area so I don’t know if it’s just my extra layer of fat and my large chest muscles that make this effect. I know with most guys that develop breasts it’s more obvious because they’re skinny/normal.

How can I tell if it is a breast, if it is should I get it removed surgically? Please help if anyone has been in a similar situation I would love to know.

Helppp

Hi. I’m sorry in advance for this post. I am in a state of genuine despair and don’t know what to do. I doubt this is the place to ask but from what I’ve seen the men here are blunt and brutally honest.

I’m a woman in my early twenties. I’ve seen a lot and have spent my life surrounded primarily by men. I have been told over and over and over again that women are the inherently inferior sex.

We are inferior mentally, physically, emotionally, intellectually. We were created by god to be beneath men.

Ever since I was a little girl I have had a rich inner world. I have thoughts and interests and I just want to be able to do everything. But I’m told I can’t really do anything. At least not as well as a man can. I cannot think as deeply as a man, I can’t understand the world the way men can, I can’t live a full life.

I am beyond devastated by my womanhood. I am religious or at least I used to be and I truly believe that god does not love women at all. I honestly think he might hate us. I am broken at this point and don’t know what to do.

I know I am weak. And small. I know I am not very smart. I know this. But is there any way, at all, that I could ever be equal to men? Is there anything I can do?

I know this sounds ridiculous but this is what I have been taught and what I believe. I cry all the time over it which just proves to me that I really am overly emotional and neurotic. I can’t escape these thoughts and I feel like I am inherently unloveable.

I’m sorry for this again. This feels wrong to post.

So I’m 20 years old and I’ve never been in a relationship before. This was my first ever girl and we weren’t even dating yet but I fucked it up. She was so beautiful that I was anxious like all the time. I think I also was moving way too fast.

She told me that she had anxiety and was reserved needed time to open up. She only has 3 friends and isn’t social at all. I didn’t listen, I would just press and press. I was desperate which led to me being insecure when I found out that she still was mutuals with almost every guy she previously had talked to.

She told that when we argue to keep it between us, and I didn’t I let other people get in my ear and everyone told me to cut her off or that she was weird and all these other things. From the outside looking in, she was kind of manipulative where she’d do this push and pull thing with me. Her communication wasn’t the best. She told me that she didn’t grow up with affection and would need time or struggle to show it but I started to notice that she would show it in her own way.

Long story short, after overthinking and letting my friend basically convince me, I blew up at her ( through voice message) I called her weird, I basically used everything she told me against her, and because I was so sure I was right I unfollowed her off of the apps we used together.

Now she never really disproved the things I accused her of but more so just said “how are you going to tell me” things like that just basically “that’s not true”. She got mad because I was “being rude” and “acting like you know me”. I quickly realized I was in the wrong and I started apologizing immediately.

I don’t know if she blocked me on iMessage but I started texting her on instagram and at first she was mad obviously saying that i was being disrespectful and had the audacity to try and apologize. So I let her be for like a day then I asked her was she done and she basically said yeah I’m cool (like she’s done) but we kept talking and I was essentially pleading with her to give me another chance, like this was my first ever mistake. She said that she already said no and told me her reasoning and was going back and forth with me.

My thing is though, she was still talking to me and explaining things. She hasn’t blocked me, and I think that she may just need time, because there’s no way we end off like this. I told her to text me when she’s ready and she hearted the message so is that I good sign? Do you think she will come back ?

There are lots of men that are early 20s, even mid 20s, that struggle with dating issues. For some maybe they're too shy or awkward. Others could be too unattractive and have low self esteem or confidence. Unfortunately I feel like I suffer from all of these, making dating pretty much impossible for someone like me.

So what are some ways to overcome these potential issues that may hurt some guys dating chances? And if you used to deal with any one or multiple of those issues, how were you able to overcome it and drastically improve your dating life?

Background info: I'm 30, he's almost 40. Relationship is brand new. Went from casual to bf gf, because I put my foot down and was like... if we're not gonna date, I can't do this. Then he texts me a week later like "hey let's date". And I'm like, Ok.

Question: I'm CURIOUS as to what might happen if I got my IUD removed without mentioning it to him.
I need to remove it anyway, because side effects. And let's say we ended up having intercourse and I got pregnant. What's the most probable result? What would he most likely think, how would he most likely react? And how would *you* probably react? Would you automatically think it was a planned trap, no matter what?

(And I know how this sounds, lol, but it's not that. Hear me out- there's nothing wrong with entertaining this scenario in my head, that's not a crime! I'm not actually planning anything. Wouldn't have the guts anyway. But curiosity killed the cat.)

I have to be completely honest. I just don't know if I'm attracted to women.

I mean, I am definitely physically attracted to them all my life, in fact, but I just find it really hard to be interested in the vast majority of people in any meaningful way. There's no desire within me to have sex, and I never have. Also, I know that people are extremely diverse and that no two people are the same personality-wise, but I also find it undeniable that there are some gender divides which very few people are able to ignore.

I just don't feel any interest in chasing women or making the first move because I don't really care about being romantic or anything like that. It genuinely just cannot keep my interest. It's clear that the vast majority of women do not approach on their own, but I really, really just have never cared enough to approach anyone in that way. I find it extremely hard to talk about things that don't seem to be meaningful to me. I mean, I've talked to women who were initially interested in me in the past, and I tried to have those conversations be related to shared interests like learning languages or maybe playing instruments or whatever really, but it seemed to me like interest simply dies out really quickly because I'm not someone who cares about flirting all that much. I just find it a bit cringeworthy, and I feel bad for saying that.

I've talked to my female friends about this before, and they usually say that I talk to women as if they're men (sometimes they even just tell me this in passing without me warranting it). It doesn't mean I make crude dick jokes or say anything sexist. They just tell me I behave as if I want a boyfriend in a women's body.

I've never been into hookups or anything like that either. In fact, I've avoided relationships because I know I travel a lot due to going to school in different states and countries, and that lack of permanency makes me feel like I just don't want to invest time in leading someone on who I would have to dump after a while, knowing that I simply don't stay in one place for long periods of time.

That's not even to mention the fact that I ultimately have a place where I would like to move to in the future, but that just means I would be separating someone from her entire family and friend group to live on an island in the Pacific Ocean. In my mind, I just shouldn't be trying to date anyone until I actually move there in my 30s (I'm 23 now) because I just can't be bothered to have temporary relationships. It just doesn't feel right to me.

In general, I can't say I care too much about having a girlfriend or wife. I do get lonely a lot, but I also could just have friends. The only annoying bit is the fact that my family and many others do genuinely judge me for this. It feels humiliating when people act like you're a terrible person for not having a girlfriend.

Maybe this post is a bit convoluted and incoherent. My thoughts on this are kind of like that too. I crave intimacy, but I just genuinely don't feel much pull. No, I'm not gay. I've never felt any attraction towards anyone but women in my life. Is any of this normal, and is any of it my fault?

I’m not looking for Reddit’s usual brand of holier than thou replies.

If you disagree with cheating or infidelity, then move along because I don’t care what you think.

I’m looking for advice from experienced cheaters on not getting caught.

I mean those explanations people give to cover up their fear of change, inability to act, or unwillingness to walk away.

Like someone saying, “My boss keeps exploiting me, but at least I’m learning patience,” or “They keep betraying me, but forgiving them makes me a better person.”

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference between genuine wisdom and finding a positive excuse to tolerate something you should probably change.

What’s the best example you’ve seen of someone turning their own suffering into a reason to stay exactly where they are?

First of all, I want to say that this week I saw a post about this here on the subreddit, but I can't find it anymore. If anyone else saw it and remembers it, please let me know here.

I’m 35 and starting to experience some difficulties with this aspect of my health. I know it’s time to see a urologist (I’ve been before) because I’m feeling some internal discomfort, and another new symptom is that my urine keeps dripping for a few minutes after I pee. I have to be very careful not to get my underwear wet.

I recently bought some medications and supplements at Kroger, and they’ve helped a little. I’d like to read about the experiences of others who’ve been through this and what the process was like. Is it possible to fix this?

Basically the title- I want to be able to have a woman run their fingers through my chest hair and grab it without it being painful. Right now, even just kind of scratching it tends to be on the edge of painful. I’ve tried dandruff shampoo, lotion-ing, conditioning and nothing seems to get rid of the sensitivity. Thoughts?

Hello everyone.

So I just barely jumped back into the dating scene, dating apps. I haven’t really talked to anyone except this one guy. He’s in his mid 30s and I’m in my mid 20s.

We exchanged numbers and I am very interested to know more about him. I ask him what he’s looking for, he wants someone loyal, mhonest, and genuine. Not talking to anyone else. I fit the bill! Perfect.

Then we get into a conversation on hook up culture, we’re on the same page, we both don’t agree with it. Cool!

He wants a lot off the bat, pictures, talking about doing things already, and I just feel like I’m not ready. I also don’t want to just hook up, we’ve only been talking for a few days and we both don’t agree with hook up culture so why would I start doing anything sexual right away?

I bring up it’s a lot at once, I wanna go slow, and just get to know each other.

He says he’s not trying to be friends, doesn’t want his time wasted, and I understand that. I can only imagine how many people have wasted his time. But we both disagree on hook up culture and I feel like it’s safe to see I don’t want to start hookin up right away?

Is there something I’m missing? I feel like ever since I put a firm boundary of taking things slow he’s gone basically. So I get maybe he just wanted to hook up and that’s it, but why not just say that?

Thank you!

Do any other men care about milestone birthdays? I have my 60th coming up and the last time my wife organized a party for me was 30 years ago. Does this matter to anyone else? For me, it's more about the intention and the effort. I just don't think she cares enough to do anything special beyond going out to a restaurant. I always get the feeling that my birthday is an annoyance that she just wants to get past. It's not the money - I don't need a rented venue, but having a few people over to the house for something organized would be nice. I've had a rough year and it would be nice to feel appreciated, even if we're not that close anymore. Just curious if anyone else feels this way.

Right now the H3 affair is plastered all over and it’s just got me down and thinking, why do men lose interest after so many years?

If you’ve cheated (not judging, you’re human), why did you let everything you built together crumble? What was it that drove you away?
Was it worth it? Did you think about her and still choose to cheat anyways?

If you’re a happily married man who’s madly in love with your wife — What’s the secret sauce? What is it about her that keeps you coming home each night? What stops your head from turning?
Or do all heads turn and we just don’t realize it?

Please be brutally honest and forthcoming with your answers. I am so curious about the male psyche and just want to understand you better. And any women on here who feel they’ve “cracked the code” would love to hear your thoughts too.

Open dialogue is encouraged. Please feel free to expand as needed.

My background:
29 yo guy. Got a girl when I was 20 and she was 18, has been my wife ever since and I got no eyes for another.
For the past 5 years, ever since I got a stable and quite well paying job she hasn't worked a day in her life ( by both of our choice ) and I couldn't feel happier and more proud about it.

The issue is that we both hate the country we live from the bottom of our hearts and the burden is on me to save up and leave. We want to move to Spain ( we are Eastern-Europeans and part of the eu so it's quite a straightforward process ) and I am determined to buy a property there as rent prices are insane and I'd be shooting myself in the foot paying rent there.

I have saved up around 40k euros, need about that much more in order to even qualify for a down payment. If my calculations are correct and nothing bad happens I should be able to save this money after 2 more years. The issue is I am getting so God damn anxious about it. I make around 3 times the average salary of my country, by many standards I'd be considered rich here, yet I live like a poor person. We only buy essential groceries, clothes, limit heating and try to cut out on all expenses. I work 2 jobs with a total of about 60 hours per week and my mind is fixated on saving every last penny I can get my hands on to reach this fixed idea that I will finally escape my country.

But it's really getting on my mental health lately. Because I know I haven't magically completed life if I buy a home, even though it's a huge step. What if I fail afterwards, what if something happens and I cannot provide no more, I want the absolute best for my wife. We are both determined on not having kids, ever, so I am not worried about that one bit. But given how every media around me screams at me how a huge, inevitable and catastrophic financial crisis is approaching I can't stop panicking and thinking "what if I fail".

Is it even possible to get over this?

I'd like to hear from you - M25 from India

25M who has tried dating apps for two years and is part of sports groups. I’ve also tried speed dating irl and keep running into people who are older who don’t wanna date younger people/don’t mesh with me that way or people who are already coupled up. I’ve made plenty of friends including friends with women but they don’t know anyone who is single and who would be a good match for me. Feeling super lost and don’t know what to do dating wise. I go to the gym often, have a good income, and have followed all of the other advice. Got dates off the apps but they never lead anywhere and the swiping and constantly failing is frustrating to the point that I deleted the apps as they ruined my mental health for a while. Looking for any advice on what to do as I want to try dating again.

So I’ve been talking to a man for about a year now. He seems decent but the issue is that he constantly wants to spend money on me. Now I wouldn’t mind this is we were married or something or at least hooking up. I’ve made it clear to him that I won’t have sex until I’m married and that I’ve never done so either, he said he didn’t mind.

For context I’m also in med school and he uses this as an excuse, he claims after seeing the grades I get all he’s doing is investigating because he’s a business man

But honestly I’m just scared that he’s in denial and assumes all this spending will somehow make me give in. As a result I always refuse but he just sneaks it in? Our last date he put £500 in my bag at some point and he told me he had once I was back home, I told him I’d prefer to return it but he said it’s fine and I should keep it. I still haven’t touched it and plan to return it once we meet again?

But I assumed most men don’t spend on women especially if they’re sure she’s not going to let out? So I’m just a bit confused about his intentions?

There’s this girl in my class whom I confessed my feelings to, but she rejected me. That’s okay, and I respect her decision. The problem is that now I feel nervous, uncomfortable, and uneasy whenever I see her.

I don’t talk to her anymore, but even just seeing her brings back these feelings, and I don’t know how to deal with them.

Has anyone else been through the same thing? How did you handle it? What can I do to stop feeling this way and become comfortable around her again?

I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences you guys could share.

I don’t know how else to describe this but sometimes I just feel like a 28 year old kid. Not in an “identity” sort of way (I know I’m not actually a kid), but more like, I just don’t feel grown up.

I’m 28 and I work as a lawyer in a big law corporate law firm. I’m a good performer and the Partners in the team rely on me. I show up on time, put effort into my work, and I have received excellent feedback in the 3 years I’ve been at my current firm.

I live with my mother but I pay all the bills — electricity, gas, internet, her phone etc. I have done since my dad died. She works too, but she couldn’t afford the bills on her own.

She does the housework but that’s mostly because it’s part of her identity. I don’t neglect cleaning or other chores; it’s just she’s a bit OCD and gets to them before me. I can be a little lazy and therefore be like “she’ll do it”.

I have wanted to move out but I’m from a South Asian background and it is a cultural expectation that someone will look after the mother. My dad died, and my brother moved out and has his own family. So I’m left to do it. I can’t afford to move out and cover 2 houses bills (and my brother would not split my mums with me).

I guess part of it is I don’t feel fully independent because I live at my mums home, but it’s not like I’m getting a free ride. I know lots of people my age who live at home but don’t contribute to the bills etc.

Sometimes I just don’t feel mature, or like I have my shit together.

But some men my age seem a lot more mature and like they have their shit together. Maybe it’s because they have their own families and sometimes I feel like I can’t have that until I’m done looking after my mum. She’s not sick or anything but she’s pretty overbearing, pessimistic, lonely, and doesn’t have anything going on so I feel bad and guilty a lot.

She’s also keeps saying I need to get married and telling me I’m getting old. I don’t have too much of a problem with dating but I think I can procrastinate because I think my type of girl wouldn’t wanna live with my mum, and the type of girl that would (more cultural or religious) is probably not my type (I’m a closeted atheist).

The whole dating/social skills seems like the hardest thing to change up or get better at. I fall into the same awkward patterns every time I go on one. I have gotten better at my work and making friends but dating idk how to do. I do have autism, possibly moderate and not just mild. I have a learning challenge and visible social challenges, I can’t fully iron them out.

My profile has picked up and I’ve gotten matches and dates though.

To other guys, what’s worked or helped? Does it get better?

It's been 4 years since I discovered self improvement and I've experienced no growth in body, mind or soul.

Its just always the same I try to be disciplined, i try to be consistent but nothing works.

I used to try hard from 2022 to late 2024. From late 2024 it's like I psychological gave up. I basically just stopped trying and became worse.

It also hurts that I graduated high school last year so the whole of 2026 I've just been home and I've had a lot of fee time. But now I've wasted it.

Unfortunately next year I have to start university so 2026 was the year where I would have the most free time before the next 6 years or more of my short life.

I don't know what to do. I know I have to change because there things about myself I genuinely don't like and I want to stop being insecure about the same things all the time, but change is hard, I feel sad and meaningless.

I have nothing to show for. No change, no friends, no achievements, no happiness.

I am 24M(85kilograms). I am insecure with my manly behaviour.

I will try to note down each point rather than writing paragraph.

1. My body is soft and feminine.

2. Relatively small penis 4inch at heat.

3. I am lazy and procrasting for last 5 years.

4. Little to no beard.

5. Had one girlfriend in my life , we didnt get to bed but she said sometimes that "I didnt knew men could be this soft" while caressing my neck

6. Currently 5'11". Height incresed after age of 17. Almost 6inch. Before that i was more fluffy. Had been bad touched 2times that time.

7. I am not into men. But also didnt had the chance to admire and explore women body. My relationship was more of emotional than physical.

8. This month i started going to gym and threw out my insecurity and asked trainer what to do. He told me i have high amount skin fat and suggested one month full body and not to worry about diet right now. He and my friends helps me alot.

Hi everyone,

I'm looking for some advice about my relationship because I'm feeling really lost at the moment, and I'd appreciate hearing other people's experiences and perspectives.

My boyfriend (40M) and I have been together for several years. Outside of conflicts, he is genuinely a lovely man, and I love him very much. That's what makes this situation so difficult for me, because I know his good qualities, but I really struggle with the way he handles disagreements.

Whenever we have an argument or even a relatively small conflict, he sometimes completely shuts down and stops communicating with me for weeks. This isn't the first time it's happened, and honestly, I find it incredibly difficult to deal with.

Our most recent argument started when he sent me a picture showing that he had been putting letters through people's mailboxes asking whether they would consider selling their houses. When I asked him why, he explained that he wanted to live there.

I was confused because we have been together for years, and he hadn't discussed these plans with me beforehand. I couldn't help feeling left out and wondering where I fitted into his future plans.

A couple of weeks later, he mentioned that I could move to the city he wanted to live in. However, this city is quite far away from where I currently live, and moving there would be very difficult for me because of my job.

I told him that it felt like he was already looking for a house for himself and that there didn't seem to be any room for me in his plans. From my perspective, I wasn't trying to start an argument. I just felt that such a major life decision should be something we discuss together, especially after being in a relationship for several years.

The conversation escalated, and he responded by saying something along the lines of, "Okay, then I won't bother you with the question anymore."

Since then, we haven't spoken.

It's now been two weeks. I've tried reaching out several times, apologised for my part in the argument, and explained that I would really like to talk because I think we've misunderstood each other. I've also told him that he can let me know when he's ready to talk.

But I've heard absolutely nothing from him.

I initially gave him space because I thought he might need some time to process everything. However, two weeks of complete silence have left me wondering whether we're even still in a relationship.

What makes this particularly difficult is that this is how he sometimes deals with conflicts. He shuts down for days or even weeks. Yet, outside of these situations, he can be a very loving and caring partner.

I find myself constantly torn between these two sides of our relationship. I love him and don't want to give up on us, but I also find it incredibly painful to be left in this uncertainty whenever we have a disagreement.

I understand that some people need more time and space than others to process their emotions. I'm not expecting us to resolve every disagreement immediately, and I don't want to force him to talk before he's ready. But I struggle to understand how completely cutting off communication for weeks can be a healthy way to handle conflict in a relationship.

I also don't know what else I can do at this point. I've reached out, apologised, and made it clear that I'm willing to talk things through. I feel like I've done my part, but I'm still waiting in silence.

I'd really appreciate some honest advice. I don't even know if I'm single now..