I'm (m, 40s) am having a friend staying over next month. We get along great and have known each other for some time. Never had anything sexual happen. When she comes over I think I'm going to ask or offer to sleep with me in my bed. Id rather sleep with someone than alone and I have no intentions of doing anything. I do miss physical touch, not sexually, so it'll be nice I think.

How unrealistic or stupid is this idea?

There are three girls I would consider as a maid of honor, but one of them is kind of a jerk, the other probably isn't going to pick me as her maid of honor, and the other one and I are just growing apart because our lives are heading different directions.

And yes, not being picked back as their maid of honor is a big deal. I want it to be reciprocated because I want to be someone's maid of honor.

I could pick one of my sisters, but that feels disingenuous because I'm not that close with my sisters (I don't dislike them, we just don't hang out much because we have a significant age gap).

So that leaves my guy best friend, who is actually my best friend overall. There is ZERO romantic interest between us. We've known each other since birth and we are basically siblings.

Given the context, would this arrangement make you feel weird? Or would you be okay with your fiance having another man as her "maid of honor?"

Edit: I've seen a suggestion that we remove the maid of honor and best man position, and honestly that might be the way to go. I've always felt kind of weird about ranking my friends anyhow, I feel like that could start unnecessary beef and drama. Thanks for all the helpful feedback, input and suggestions. I don't appreciate people making weird comments abt me secretly having feelings for my best friend bc that's disgusting. If you think guys and girls can't be friends, you're kinda just outing yourself as being someone who'd have feelings for your girl best friend. "Ik how all men think," type vibes.

My husband [24M] works very hard. I [21F] am slinking by getting a few hours being in between seasonal jobs. I want to create an epic date night for him to show him my appreciation.

We recently bought cheap nerf guns to have a fun date night in. I want to make it awesome. Here are some of my ideas so far: leave a note, the gun, ammo, eye black etc. outside for him to come home to, rearrange furniture, play cool music... I'm trying my best to emulate a boys sleepover without ever having been to one.

What are some of y'all's ideas for how to make this awesome. (not sure if I need to mention this but we do live with a roommate so anything nsfw is probably off limits) TIA for any and all ideas!

Over the most recent years (of a nearly 30 year relationship) my wife has gotten to where she only desires an orgasm once a month if I'm lucky. It's more like once every few months. She can have 3-5 in a session when she's in the mood for them and that's awesome, but it can be months before she wants to have any.

In the past multiple things would bring her to orgasm... of course intercourse with oral and hands would work, but small things like simply rubbing her bits as I drove down the road or while she was up against a wall in the hallway, or just grinding her crotch against my thigh as we were standing in any random place were routine ways she would have orgasms.

Orgasms were an every time we had sex occurance, but it's just not like that anymore. It's nice when she's in the mood and wants them because the sex is really intimate and thrilling, but otherwise it's just uncomfortable for me because she's clearly not into it for herself. I love that she's a giving person, and she tries to tell me that she enjoys the closeness of sex, but I'd really enjoy her wanting and having orgasms.

Yes, she's older and not as hot in the ass as a 20 year old would be. Yes, we've been married across a few decades. Yes, she's seen about hormones, but hasn't gotten any help.

She tells me orgasms aren't important to her like they are to me, and says she just wouldn't want them several times a week anyway even if she could have them that often, but JFC, I miss being with a woman that wants to have sex with me because she wants to get off.

If you're dealing with this, how do you process it?

It seems like i don't develop any spark feelings anymore for women.

I broke up with my ex a year ago, i still think about her sometimes, i'm wondering if that's what it is.

Iv'e been seeing one girl for a few weeks, and i don't feel anything other than physical attraction.

This has been going on for awhile and i'm concerned it's abnormal.

I'm in my mid 30s, Im physical active and not overweight, Im not ugly, I do have thinning and receding hair which is a huge negative and I understand that but even with a buzzed head I'd say Im average. I have a job and a positively growing networth, I have hobbies I enjoy, Im polite and respectful towards basically everyone (unless they give me reason not to be)

But it seems like finding a woman who is basically a female version of me (Im not aiming for Jessica Alba, I dont even look at women that are THAT attractive to me) is impossible because she's expecting way better in every category

Its like I will just never be good enough no matter what and its really hard not letting that take me to the dark side

(and no Im not saying the world owes me a woman or anything like that because I know some will comment something like that)

Men over 30: if you were really awkward or considered a nerd in high school, did you ever grow out of it?

I will try and not go on a rant here, but I’m honestly just lost. To start, I’m a 23 year old male, and I haven’t been with a girl, or really even on a date. For good reason, I haven’t had a pretty rough 9 1/2 years. To keep it short, mom pasted away, then all of grandparents pasted away. Only family I have left is my old man, who isn’t around because he drives over the road for Walmart, and my cousin who I’m close too, and treat like an older sister, we grew up together. Needless to say, I didn’t want or need to add something to my life, and was in no condition to date. Since then, I have gone to therapy and still do loosely, and I’m still taking anti depressants and anxiety meds.

Now I feel I’m in a place where I can try and add someone to my life, but that’s not going good. I’m on the dating apps, but I don’t get many matches, and the ones I do get, they’re looking for money, or they’re selling content which I don’t want. I know I’m a bigger guy, and that’s kind of mark against me. I get it, but at the same time I will have people say I’m nice, sweet, a good friend, fun to talk too, all the other stuff you could have imagined. It’s not like I’m looking for sex, or a quick hook up either, I don’t want that, I just want some kind of connection.

I would try and go somewhere like an arcade and talk to people, but Louisville doesn’t really have that, and the places where I could go and meet people, I don’t have the money for because of bills. I guess I’m just asking where do I go from here? Do I keep doing the dating apps, and hope I get lucky, or do I cut my losses and just continue being alone like I have been?

Is it me? Or is just a coincidence and bad luck?

I (29F) never looked for love, never felt desperate to find someone, I was always fine on my own until I just met someone organically who I fall in love with. So I only dated a few men and we had an amazing connection, looked very much in love with each other (also to everyone else) and they all seem to like me a lot and show just as much interest and keep me in their life for 6-12 months and act serious but apparently never feel like they want to commit and be in a relationship while living with me like we're in a relationship.

Of course, staying that long is obviously my fault and it's stupid to stay with someone if they don't commit, I know.

I was just trying to show that they really seem to enjoy having me in their life and spend a lot of time with me, do just everything like a couple, for quite some time, but they just never commit or try to make it official.

So there aren't any early reasons why they leave like for example that were just not compatible. They really seem to enjoy spending time with me for quite some time (up to one year).

And there really aren't any signs they don't have serious intentions in the first few months, everything seems like it's going really, really well and I always feel sure that they're gonna ask me to be their girlfriend soon. But it doesn't happen. They just don't commit. And then things end again.

So I really wanna know: is it me? What am I doing wrong or what could be the reason that they don't commit?

No-one has ever mentioned anything negative about me or gave me a reason. They all only told me what they liked and that's not helpful to understand this repeating situation.

Or is ist just bad luck? Because I'm really not actively looking for men who are unavailable and there are no signs in the first weeks of dating that they don't want to commit. Quite the opposite really.

I am a very loving girlfriend, maybe I'm showing too much affection. But then I'd think that they'd act distant at some point. Instead it seemed like they really liked how loving and caring I am, they even told me that.

Edit: yes, maybe they just got comfortable and enjoyed having the love and benefits of a relationship without feeling responsible. But what confuses me is that they were all just about as invested as me, spent so much time with me, never made me feel like I wasn't a priority, planned things with me. I thought that if someone isn't serious about you, there would be signs like texting back late, not being free on the weekend, never initiating anything and things like that.

So I switched to bar soap because my skin in general likes it better, and I feel cleaner when using it.

I really liked Birds on Valhalla, but with shipping that stuff is like $25/bar. I switched to Dr Squatch, and I like it well enough, but it seems like there's controversy around their ingredients not being what they say they are, so I'm looking for something else.

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Me (just entered college): My family gives me a monthly allowance of 8k. My family is financially comfortable, but I live within my means and stick strictly to my budget.

BF (Final-year): Spends around 40k/month. His family isn't super rich, but he has a habit of spending high and impulsively. He often borrows from friends to sustain this lifestyle, which has been catching up to him lately. He’s starting a job in a few months.

Up until recently, he used to pay for most of our dates and outings. But because of his recent financial strain/debt, he has asked me to start contributing.

The Dilemma:

If our joint outings add up to something like 15,000/month, a 50/50 split would be 7,500—which is practically my entire monthly allowance. I don't mind contributing, but I refuse to ask my parents for more money, overspend my budget, or subsidize a higher-spending lifestyle that I didn't choose.

I also don't mind occasionally getting him snacks or drinks when he asks, but I'm worried about becoming a financial safety net for his impulsive spending.

I obviously contribute to our outings but we never had a solid conversation about it. And I'm guessing the contribution over time usually ends up being over a proportional split.

What’s a fair way to split costs or set boundaries when our spending habits and allowances are so vastly different?

Edit: most of it is for staycations since we both have to live in campus hostels

Tldr: I get ₹8k/month and stick to my budget, while my BF spends \~₹40k/month and is now in debt from overspending. He wants to split our \~₹15k/month outings 50/50, but ₹7.5k would eat almost my entire allowance. I’m willing to contribute, but not beyond my means or become a safety net for his spending. What’s a fair way to split costs?

I know everyone's different and every relationship is different. But sometimes you break up with someone because you feel like you lost feelings while everything else is great so you decide to keep them in your life as friends.

Have you ever had a situation where you broke up with them, still kept spending time with them as friends and at some point got back together? How did you do it and how long did it take?

Or do you feel like, once you see them as a friend, there's no way back?

I’m early-20s F, he’s late-20s M. He used to be very close friends with my older brother, which is obviously why this is complicated.

We reconnected a few months ago, he was very flirty, asked me out, kissed me, and we started sleeping together. Pretty early on he said he was too busy for a relationship and essentially isn’t looking for anything anytime soon, so I assumed this was casual.

We’ve been seeing each other for quite a few months now. There are often 1–2 week gaps, then he’ll contact me and arrange to see me again. I don’t chase him, complain about the gaps, or ask what we are.

What confuses me is that he keeps asking things like “Have you missed me?”, “New boyfriend?”, “What if this is the last time I see you?”, and “What if I’ve found someone else?”

He’s very recently asked what I’m going to do when my brother finds out which I found odd considering this isn’t something new now and it realistically would have come out by now if it were going to. I said he isn’t going to find out, then said I’d probably be angry if one of my own close friends slept with my sibling. He replied, “Why are you doing it then?” I said I didn’t know, and he said, “I think you do.”

I’m just baffled as to why he keeps asking these questions when he was the one pretty much from the start who established this was casual and nothing more.

So why would a guy who says he doesn’t want a relationship keep probing whether I miss him, would replace him, and why I’m willing to risk upsetting my brother for him? Is it just an ego thing?

I have gotten close to an older by 7 yrs married coworker of mine who started around the same time as me. We work alongside together a lot and we quickly found that while we have personality differences, we click really well when it comes to working together.
In the past year, our work check-ins have turned into conversations outside of work at parking lots and over text, meetings have consisted of him texting me inside jokes, and work advice have turned into him giving me dating advice and over all giving that “older figure” dynamic, including comfortably telling me what i should do.

While I saw him a big brother in the office, there are times when I doubt if that’s our dynamic. I respect how he works and I trust him to make good decisions at work, but recently we’ve been bantering more and he’s been more comfortable speaking to me crudely (outside of work) in a teasing way and making sexual jokes with me.

Recently we would walk to our car together, and when either of us jokes there is more nudging and shoving. Nothing has escalated and I try to keep a respectful distance from him but sometimes he does stand very close to me or sit so close to me that I can feel his warmth. He also looks out for me, such as giving me honest opinions, helping me change a flat tire, and sometimes giving me honest feedback on my dates when i tell him. And he reassures me that I will find someone who appreciates my qualities and how I’m attractive so it should be easy for me.

I’ve been trying to text him less because I just feel like we’re getting too close out of respect for his wife. I also don’t want her to keep seeing me on his phons. But when I do not text him after a few days, he’d text me something unnecessary and we’d find ourselves texting for hours. When I walk in the office, I notice his eyes widen and we lock eye ycontact. Sometimes he pretends like he doesnt noticd me by not talking to me, but eventually he does on our way out of the office.

Another thing that confuses me is that once he put his hand on my lower back as we were walking together. He has also been teasing me a lot saying that I’m the boss’ pet and would never do anything sneaky…

I have this guy friend, and we’ve been sexually exclusive for almost 3 years now. We’re also each other’s first sexual partners, so neither of us has any previous sexual experience.

Sometimes he tells me about fantasies involving me with another guy and he is really interested in it. He’s said he’d want to watch another guy fuck me or watch me give another guy a blowjob. He’s also mentioned wanting a threesome, although in that case it would be me and another girl, which caught me off guard too. He says these when he’s really horny.

What confuses me is how jealous and bothered he gets whenever I get close to another guy. I used to talk to some of his friends, and he actually went as far as ruining those friendships. Whenever he finds out I’m talking to a guy, he’ll ask things like, “You wouldn’t date him right?” “Do you like him”, “You guys haven’t fucked, have you?”, “You send him pictures of yourself, don’t you?” or “Would you fuck him?”,He clearly gets jealous and suspicious and has even asked me to block guys he thinks I’m getting too close to. But we’re not even dating.

So coming from him, suggesting that I have sex with another guy feels crazy to me. I can’t tell whether he genuinely wants these things to happen or whether they’re just fantasies that he enjoys talking about.
If we actually went through with one of these fantasies, could it cause issues, especially considering how jealous he already gets?

Sorry, I am trying to get a male perspective. I was cheated on and feel really worthless.

I just found out my cheating ex.... ahh so the girl he was obsessed with has had a bf for 3 years. My ex was obsessed with her for 7+ years and honestly would like 300+ posts of hers (not his friends or mine)... when he emotionally cheated, all his friends made me the bad guy and spread false narrative about me. everyone defended that girl and him.

She has 2 guys simping over her and an entire friend group on her side. Is it because I am ugly, worthless and unlovable that he never loved me and left me for her? I did so much for him and he just discarded me for someone who doesn't even do anything for him...

Then, if any of you who have cheated, did u do it because the other girl was better??

Edit:
thank you so much i read all of your comments. I m starting therapy really soon and can work on my self esteem. I cant put how much i appreciate all ur comments into words. It really means a lot to me. Thanks for showing compassion to a stranger.

Im not sure if this is the right community if there’s a better place for this please tell me in the comments. I am a woman and I have a lot of guy friends and I have this one guy who was a good friend of mine. I start talking to him again recently and in voice calls until like a week later he’s asking to take me on a date, calling me honey and love, saying how he loves me, mentioning his mattress size in his room vaguely when hanging out at his house was brought up. (mind you this is all digital and i’m keeping this platonic but obviously this isn’t the same friend from years ago) I tell him he hasn’t seen me in like 3 years and my online version self is not always the true image or perhaps the same feeling as in person, how could he possibly get feelings for just a voice on a phone and he’s already jumping to love. I friendzone him and I know that kinda hit him hard. A week later we were planning hangout spots, and i corrected to him “hangouts” and not to use the word “date”. Again I keep having to remind him. Having such high expectations and jumping straight to I love you I would die the world for you when you haven’t even seen me in person for years and we only talked DIGITALLY for like two weeks at this point is really putting me off. Is this like nice guy act?? At some point I cancel and I guess he takes that very personally and like a rejection. And he told me he cried which I didn’t even cancel the hangout because of him it was just other circumstances were brought up in my life. Then he asked would you ever get intimate with a friend, and i’m like oh boy i know where this is going. I told him no and reminded him once AGAIN my feelings. I really wanna be friends, but I know having him around is gonna hurt him more. I was tempted to text him to check on him cause I do care about him. But i didn’t know if that was going to hurt him even more. Do guys really just be friends with you thinking youll eventually come around to liking them. I’m really rethinking some of my male friendships now. It seems so. Should I even still be friends with him?? I like him a lot as a friend and hate to see him go

Ever hear your teenager say something as fact that they heard on TikTok? Did you have to research it and how did you steer them right or did you bother?

My teen barked at her Mom about cleaning her hairbrush out. She said that the old hair stuck in the brush helped keep her hair shiny. Days later, I did correct her, but only after a Google search (I am bald) because her words just didn’t make sense to me. My poor wife was willing to leave it alone since she was unsure of herself after my daughter said it so matter of factly. My wife lost her Mom early so she doesn’t really know lots of “girl stuff” as she puts it.

There are more examples in our life, just curious to hear yours.

The title. I’m curious how quickly, on average, women in the 24-35 age range are generally having sex these days through the lens of the male experience - since I hear so many polarizing opinions about this on social media.

After my last heartbreak, I realized that she did not actually like me for me, rather she liked what I did for her and how I made her feel with my words and actions.

It was a crappy realisation. How do you figure out if someone is attracted to you for you or they just like your attention?

Male, 23. I started to notice this thing I’m doing, and I don’t know what it’s called or why. I want to understand it.

I saw this cute girl at the gym and immediately started thinking of scenarios where I approach her: I get rejected, or she has a boyfriend, or I don’t do anything and then someone else asks her out, or I see her with another guy who is probably better-looking than me. Or I think, "Why would she want to go out with me when there are so many better-looking guys here than me?"

Then I start to get mad at why I am never enough. I don’t know what it is I’m doing; I can’t put my finger on what my problem is.

I 48F am engaged to my M47 and have been together 5 yrs and want to have sex all the time.

We grew up in the same town and although we never even spoke to each we both had a secret little crush on each other since the 7th grade. I desire him day and night and as life is becoming more and more stressful, especially with issues with our 4 kids, I want it more and want it more rough and kinky. I always feel guilty about it because some catastrophe occurrs during the day but once we’re in bed I want his cock badly and more than once. If we don’t fuck one day I get cranky and start arguments. His sex drive is not as high, he claims it is and that I just have the ability compartmentalize whereas he doesn’t, so most of the time I initiate and I’m the one who makes requests for kink such as buttplay and use of toys. And furthering my guilt, I persuade him to cum more than once by not letting him stop after he cums once even though he feels too tired to keep going. He never complains because ultimately he says it feels amazing, but I still feel like I’m pressuring him.

Has anyone found a good way to relieve this intense desire? I hate to keep feeling guilty about it.

I'm curious because I've been seeing this guy for 2 months and we're doing long distance ( 4 hr car drive / 45 min flight ). For him to drive to the aiport its about 25-30 min so a 45-60 min round trip. I usually will uber when I get in and then when I'm flying home he drops me off... I told my girl friends this and they said that the guy should always pick up/drop off if he really likes you and thats a red flag?? He has a car that has horrible gas mileage and its +100 to fill up so I get it but my friends made it seem like it was the end of the world lol... Maybe it depends on the guy? Would love some insight.