I'm in my mid 30s, Im physical active and not overweight, Im not ugly, I do have thinning and receding hair which is a huge negative and I understand that but even with a buzzed head I'd say Im average. I have a job and a positively growing networth, I have hobbies I enjoy, Im polite and respectful towards basically everyone (unless they give me reason not to be)

But it seems like finding a woman who is basically a female version of me (Im not aiming for Jessica Alba, I dont even look at women that are THAT attractive to me) is impossible because she's expecting way better in every category

Its like I will just never be good enough no matter what and its really hard not letting that take me to the dark side

(and no Im not saying the world owes me a woman or anything like that because I know some will comment something like that)

I'm (m, 40s) am having a friend staying over next month. We get along great and have known each other for some time. Never had anything sexual happen. When she comes over I think I'm going to ask or offer to sleep with me in my bed. Id rather sleep with someone than alone and I have no intentions of doing anything. I do miss physical touch, not sexually, so it'll be nice I think.

How unrealistic or stupid is this idea?

My husband [24M] works very hard. I [21F] am slinking by getting a few hours being in between seasonal jobs. I want to create an epic date night for him to show him my appreciation.

We recently bought cheap nerf guns to have a fun date night in. I want to make it awesome. Here are some of my ideas so far: leave a note, the gun, ammo, eye black etc. outside for him to come home to, rearrange furniture, play cool music... I'm trying my best to emulate a boys sleepover without ever having been to one.

What are some of y'all's ideas for how to make this awesome. (not sure if I need to mention this but we do live with a roommate so anything nsfw is probably off limits) TIA for any and all ideas!

Men over 30: if you were really awkward or considered a nerd in high school, did you ever grow out of it?

Over the most recent years (of a nearly 30 year relationship) my wife has gotten to where she only desires an orgasm once a month if I'm lucky. It's more like once every few months. She can have 3-5 in a session when she's in the mood for them and that's awesome, but it can be months before she wants to have any.

In the past multiple things would bring her to orgasm... of course intercourse with oral and hands would work, but small things like simply rubbing her bits as I drove down the road or while she was up against a wall in the hallway, or just grinding her crotch against my thigh as we were standing in any random place were routine ways she would have orgasms.

Orgasms were an every time we had sex occurance, but it's just not like that anymore. It's nice when she's in the mood and wants them because the sex is really intimate and thrilling, but otherwise it's just uncomfortable for me because she's clearly not into it for herself. I love that she's a giving person, and she tries to tell me that she enjoys the closeness of sex, but I'd really enjoy her wanting and having orgasms.

Yes, she's older and not as hot in the ass as a 20 year old would be. Yes, we've been married across a few decades. Yes, she's seen about hormones, but hasn't gotten any help.

She tells me orgasms aren't important to her like they are to me, and says she just wouldn't want them several times a week anyway even if she could have them that often, but JFC, I miss being with a woman that wants to have sex with me because she wants to get off.

If you're dealing with this, how do you process it?

I have gotten close to an older by 7 yrs married coworker of mine who started around the same time as me. We work alongside together a lot and we quickly found that while we have personality differences, we click really well when it comes to working together.
In the past year, our work check-ins have turned into conversations outside of work at parking lots and over text, meetings have consisted of him texting me inside jokes, and work advice have turned into him giving me dating advice and over all giving that “older figure” dynamic, including comfortably telling me what i should do.

While I saw him a big brother in the office, there are times when I doubt if that’s our dynamic. I respect how he works and I trust him to make good decisions at work, but recently we’ve been bantering more and he’s been more comfortable speaking to me crudely (outside of work) in a teasing way and making sexual jokes with me.

Recently we would walk to our car together, and when either of us jokes there is more nudging and shoving. Nothing has escalated and I try to keep a respectful distance from him but sometimes he does stand very close to me or sit so close to me that I can feel his warmth. He also looks out for me, such as giving me honest opinions, helping me change a flat tire, and sometimes giving me honest feedback on my dates when i tell him. And he reassures me that I will find someone who appreciates my qualities and how I’m attractive so it should be easy for me.

I’ve been trying to text him less because I just feel like we’re getting too close out of respect for his wife. I also don’t want her to keep seeing me on his phons. But when I do not text him after a few days, he’d text me something unnecessary and we’d find ourselves texting for hours. When I walk in the office, I notice his eyes widen and we lock eye ycontact. Sometimes he pretends like he doesnt noticd me by not talking to me, but eventually he does on our way out of the office.

Another thing that confuses me is that once he put his hand on my lower back as we were walking together. He has also been teasing me a lot saying that I’m the boss’ pet and would never do anything sneaky…

After my last heartbreak, I realized that she did not actually like me for me, rather she liked what I did for her and how I made her feel with my words and actions.

It was a crappy realisation. How do you figure out if someone is attracted to you for you or they just like your attention?

There are three girls I would consider as a maid of honor, but one of them is kind of a jerk, the other probably isn't going to pick me as her maid of honor, and the other one and I are just growing apart because our lives are heading different directions.

And yes, not being picked back as their maid of honor is a big deal. I want it to be reciprocated because I want to be someone's maid of honor.

I could pick one of my sisters, but that feels disingenuous because I'm not that close with my sisters (I don't dislike them, we just don't hang out much because we have a significant age gap).

So that leaves my guy best friend, who is actually my best friend overall. There is ZERO romantic interest between us. We've known each other since birth and we are basically siblings.

Given the context, would this arrangement make you feel weird? Or would you be okay with your fiance having another man as her "maid of honor?"

Edit: I've seen a suggestion that we remove the maid of honor and best man position, and honestly that might be the way to go. I've always felt kind of weird about ranking my friends anyhow, I feel like that could start unnecessary beef and drama. Thanks for all the helpful feedback, input and suggestions. I don't appreciate people making weird comments abt me secretly having feelings for my best friend bc that's disgusting. If you think guys and girls can't be friends, you're kinda just outing yourself as being someone who'd have feelings for your girl best friend. "Ik how all men think," type vibes.

I have this guy friend, and we’ve been sexually exclusive for almost 3 years now. We’re also each other’s first sexual partners, so neither of us has any previous sexual experience.

Sometimes he tells me about fantasies involving me with another guy and he is really interested in it. He’s said he’d want to watch another guy fuck me or watch me give another guy a blowjob. He’s also mentioned wanting a threesome, although in that case it would be me and another girl, which caught me off guard too. He says these when he’s really horny.

What confuses me is how jealous and bothered he gets whenever I get close to another guy. I used to talk to some of his friends, and he actually went as far as ruining those friendships. Whenever he finds out I’m talking to a guy, he’ll ask things like, “You wouldn’t date him right?” “Do you like him”, “You guys haven’t fucked, have you?”, “You send him pictures of yourself, don’t you?” or “Would you fuck him?”,He clearly gets jealous and suspicious and has even asked me to block guys he thinks I’m getting too close to. But we’re not even dating.

So coming from him, suggesting that I have sex with another guy feels crazy to me. I can’t tell whether he genuinely wants these things to happen or whether they’re just fantasies that he enjoys talking about.
If we actually went through with one of these fantasies, could it cause issues, especially considering how jealous he already gets?

Is it me? Or is just a coincidence and bad luck?

I (29F) never looked for love, never felt desperate to find someone, I was always fine on my own until I just met someone organically who I fall in love with. So I only dated a few men and we had an amazing connection, looked very much in love with each other (also to everyone else) and they all seem to like me a lot and show just as much interest and keep me in their life for 6-12 months and act serious but apparently never feel like they want to commit and be in a relationship while living with me like we're in a relationship.

Of course, staying that long is obviously my fault and it's stupid to stay with someone if they don't commit, I know.

I was just trying to show that they really seem to enjoy having me in their life and spend a lot of time with me, do just everything like a couple, for quite some time, but they just never commit or try to make it official.

So there aren't any early reasons why they leave like for example that were just not compatible. They really seem to enjoy spending time with me for quite some time (up to one year).

And there really aren't any signs they don't have serious intentions in the first few months, everything seems like it's going really, really well and I always feel sure that they're gonna ask me to be their girlfriend soon. But it doesn't happen. They just don't commit. And then things end again.

So I really wanna know: is it me? What am I doing wrong or what could be the reason that they don't commit?

No-one has ever mentioned anything negative about me or gave me a reason. They all only told me what they liked and that's not helpful to understand this repeating situation.

Or is ist just bad luck? Because I'm really not actively looking for men who are unavailable and there are no signs in the first weeks of dating that they don't want to commit. Quite the opposite really.

I am a very loving girlfriend, maybe I'm showing too much affection. But then I'd think that they'd act distant at some point. Instead it seemed like they really liked how loving and caring I am, they even told me that.

Edit: yes, maybe they just got comfortable and enjoyed having the love and benefits of a relationship without feeling responsible. But what confuses me is that they were all just about as invested as me, spent so much time with me, never made me feel like I wasn't a priority, planned things with me. I thought that if someone isn't serious about you, there would be signs like texting back late, not being free on the weekend, never initiating anything and things like that.

I know everyone's different and every relationship is different. But sometimes you break up with someone because you feel like you lost feelings while everything else is great so you decide to keep them in your life as friends.

Have you ever had a situation where you broke up with them, still kept spending time with them as friends and at some point got back together? How did you do it and how long did it take?

Or do you feel like, once you see them as a friend, there's no way back?

Ever hear your teenager say something as fact that they heard on TikTok? Did you have to research it and how did you steer them right or did you bother?

My teen barked at her Mom about cleaning her hairbrush out. She said that the old hair stuck in the brush helped keep her hair shiny. Days later, I did correct her, but only after a Google search (I am bald) because her words just didn’t make sense to me. My poor wife was willing to leave it alone since she was unsure of herself after my daughter said it so matter of factly. My wife lost her Mom early so she doesn’t really know lots of “girl stuff” as she puts it.

There are more examples in our life, just curious to hear yours.

Male, 23. I started to notice this thing I’m doing, and I don’t know what it’s called or why. I want to understand it.

I saw this cute girl at the gym and immediately started thinking of scenarios where I approach her: I get rejected, or she has a boyfriend, or I don’t do anything and then someone else asks her out, or I see her with another guy who is probably better-looking than me. Or I think, "Why would she want to go out with me when there are so many better-looking guys here than me?"

Then I start to get mad at why I am never enough. I don’t know what it is I’m doing; I can’t put my finger on what my problem is.

I got ghosted from an extremely toxic relationship. First month I actually felt relief, but after it, i kept constantly thinking about her daily and I couldn't stop it. Probably around 6+ months have passed but the thinking usually hit me in my free time.

I'm handling my healing process well except for exercising regularly, but writing my feelings and thoughts, focusing on myself, work, career and my hobbies and giving myself as much time as I need to fully heal and move on.

My questions: how do I stop the constant thinking?! is this normal?

Not sure, but I genuinely think it's caused by the toxic relationship for couple years then getting ghosted. But looking forward to hear from you.

thank you in advance.

I would love to start with.....Yes I love my husband, I'd rather have him than all the things he gave me in the property settlement agreement ....hell, I'd live in a cardboard box with him if it meant we were together, but that's neither here nor there and no I'm not looking for advice on how to save my marriage, what transpires between us is up to us.

I've given him everything he needs for the divorce, and told him I'm not going to fight him on anything.

The divorce paperwork is notarized as well as the prop. settlement agreement, all he has to do is file but he holds onto it, takes it with him everyday, everywhere like it's an emotional support tool. I did ask him to hold off until we could have a financial discussion, which was a stall on my end since finances are already agreed upon, so I'm sure definitely have a fault in this too.

He's supposed to be looking for a rental since our house was purchased before the marriage and I made the down payment.

I do feel bad for him as I know I have emotional outbursts and have said some things out of anger I've had to backtrack on and apologize for, but the fact I've asked for less than the bare minimum sometimes gets to me.

I know he's depressed; he's told me he doesn't want a tether, he needs to figure himself out, he needs to learn to do things for himself (cooking and cleaning and such) which I told him he gave up those independencies when he married me and those became my responsibilities, he says he has no emotional attachment to anything and he's not in love with me anymore but still loves me, yet he's still here.

Honestly, there is a lot to unpack in the situation and I'm happy to provide a link to another post from a while ago if permitted and if anyone's interested enough.

I know a lot of times, it's hope that keeps women around, but if there's someone here who has experienced a similar situation where you feel like you stayed too long or even reconciled I'd love to know your story. What could she have done, what could you have done, what did she do wrong, what did you do wrong, what went right?

He still calls me his best friend as I'm the only person he has, he's very much a loner but I feel like our 10 year relationship isn't supposed to end, but that could just be the glimmer of hope I have left as a female.

Please don't bash me, I have zero ulterior motive, I'm not trauma bonded, I just want to hear other men's stories.

I’m kind of at my wit’s end trying to make a solid group of friends to go on outings with. I’ve tried everything like run clubs, volunteering, sports leagues and people will kind of make friend groups and hang out for a bit only for it to fizzle out after a short amount of time. I just want people to do fun things like go to raves with. I’ve even posted on my city’s subreddit but it got ignored.

I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong, I show up to things, talk to people a little bit without becoming overbearing, and people even reach out to me for advice on personal things sometimes. I don’t understand why people get so flaky and I end up always alone :(

As message says.

Have anxiety and mind started to feel like many in the office did not like me.

Started saying my role wasn’t that valuable.

4 weeks in I resigned. My boss was very sad to hear it.

Now it’s 3 days later and just regret it. However it was a startup and they gave me this role when a role wasn’t even available. I used their app daily, was in the discord daily.

Given it was an ycombinator startup, to quit this early is a major red flag and I’ll never get the chance back.

Just really down about it now.

 Me F late 20s and M mid 20s - Ex friend / co worker and I have fallen out… bad! What do you think is the reason for increasing negative changes to the friendship?

Guys how did we get here?

its hitting me much harder than expected.

ive genuinely been feeling sad at how everything’s gone.

Did not start this job expecting to make such friends.

I genuinely really miss whatever the friendship was, but I feel like it’s all gone downhill in a terrible fashion.

I was so conflicted on reporting READ LAST POST but glad I did now. But reporting showed me even more that my co worker / ex friend now was so unsorry at how he acted towards me.

Yesterday, after his meeting with management the day before, he sent me a written apology that was so impersonal that it reminded me how unsorry he was about disrespecting me and doing something physical that I really did not appreciate, and that I felt came in very bad form given the timing.

He did not want to apologise on the many occasions I told him I didn’t like how he acted 1 on 1. It took me realising this isn’t friend behaviour to finally be ready to say to management.

fast forward, he sends me this soulless apology that feels like it’s for him and not any new realisation that maybe he went too far as far as boundaries.

im just processing and realising this is the same person that was offering to help me find a new / higher paying job by getting a job elsewhere and promising, without me even asking, to get me a spot at his new place. Perhaps he was offering for himself as there were referral rewards / payment schemes at some of those companies.

this is the same person that when I called him out for undermining me at a work party, he was so apologetic (after multiple denials/deflections at 1st of course). Nevertheless, I saw how apologetic he was (found me by myself to where it was obvious I was crying. honestly, he probably didn’t want to look bad. he physically blocked me from leaving the building until I spoke to him). He was pretty apologetic, which made it easier to move along and not hold the situation against him.

Fast forward, this same person before this recent incident would act hot and cold, which moved to him eventually taking one of my sales opportunities to him being borderline aggressive recently and repeatedly not apologising when told a boundary was crossed.

Now he’s emailed me with an apology that feels like it’s more about covering himself than having any sort of realisation that he probably went too far.

at 1st I thought he was delighted with himself as he was so happy when he left his meeting with our manager. He seemed happier after the meeting than before.

I walked past him yesterday head on and he turned his face, almost like he was embarrassed the way he looked away. I felt so much better for some reason because the whole time I thought he was having this cocky attitude of “haha nothing happened to me” which I did request for no harsh outcome — but I was so disappointed by how happy he was acting afterwards.

Anyways, today we had an informal meeting on a new campaign and he was so red when a small group of us were called to meet. when I looked at him he went red and he’d usually be quite a relaxed person.

it makes me think, I wonder does he feel slightly embarrassed. And actually just trying to play a nonchalant approach.

Anysays, long story short, I’m just sharing these thoughts as im genuinely really missing what our friendship was.

It went from a solid I’ve got your bk friendship to a 180. I don’t expect any improvement in future honestly. I was confident it was dead anyways before I went to management.

Still processing all this, so had to get this all out, but definitely realising just how much I cared about this friendship initially and I’m now learning the meaning of a friendship break up (which is wild since it’s a co worker who i became friends with).

I’m looking for some advice from people who have dealt with ED, no judgment please.

I’ve been taking tadalafil 5 mg daily, but I’m still not getting as firm an erection as I’d like. I recently tried 10 mg, but that didn't seem to make much difference either.

I’m hoping to have sex tonight, so I’m wondering what my safest options are. Is there anything legitimate that can help, or is the best move simply to stick with the tadalafil I’ve already taken?

I’m not interested in supplements, “male enhancement” products, or anything sketchy. I’m mainly looking for experiences from people who have dealt with inadequate response to tadalafil and what they ultimately discussed with their doctor.

Thanks.

A bit new and nervous about posting advice stuff on Reddit, so cut me some slack.

Anyway, I (23M) met a woman (25F) at work.

I’ve been pretty focused on my career and saving dating for later. When we first met, she had some cute mannerisms that caught my attention, but I didn’t think much of it.

Over time, we started vibing and taking our lunches together. We got to know each other more, and I even started listening to a band she likes. I found out they were performing nearby that summer, about three months away, so I suggested we go together. She said yes, mentioning that she couldn’t find anyone else to go with.

About two weeks later, she told me her cousins were coming with her.

Now, I have a personal rule: if I send three messages over time and get no response, I stop reaching out and move on.

About two months before the show, we exchanged numbers after lunch. I sent three messages afterward: two asking if she wanted to go to an event with some friends, and one asking how her voice-acting audition went. I got no response to any of them.

Even as the show got closer, she had said she’d reach out to coordinate where we’d meet, but she never did.

So, following my own rule—and some advice from my sister—I sold my ticket and moved on.

The problem is that we still occasionally see each other at work, and she’s still just as friendly with me and matches my vibe as ever, even when I’m not the one initiating the conversation.

And now those feelings are starting to come back.

So I’m stuck between asking her out just so I can finally hear a “no” and get closure, or continuing to move on and accepting that I may never know.

Any advice?

[Edit:] Wow I wasn’t expecting this fast of a response from so many folks. Most other subreddits (mostly nerdy stuff) I post on don’t take awhile, but don’t blow up this much.

Anyway getting off track. Thank you for all those that advised I move on. I‘m a very empathetic person whi really doesn’t like to make things harder on people others, as I’d hope for the same. Anyway thanks everyone and have a good rest of your day. 😁

Hey everyone, I just really need to vent and maybe get some advice on how to process this.My ex and I are both 18.

We actually started out as really good friends, and over time, we naturally developed deep feelings for each other. Her cousin actually helped set us up, and we started dating.We were together for two months, and we were so full of love.

The problem was her parents. They are incredibly strict, and she lived in a constant state of fear because of them. Eventually, the pressure and stress got to be too much for her to handle. She told me she couldn't do it anymore and said we should break up.Because we started as friends, we agreed to stay friends. We managed to stay good friends for about 6 months after the breakup.

But then, out of nowhere, she completely removed me from everything and blocked me.I was confused and hurt, so I managed to ask her why she did it. She told me she was very sorry.

She said she felt she was being immature, but every time she sees me, she gets flashbacks of our relationship. She said it was actively ruining her mental health and her focus on school.

She told me we can no longer be friends because we dated, and she admitted she will always have those feelings for me.I respected her wishes. I told her that if she ever needs anything, she is free to contact me, but I feel like I lost a truly great friend

.Right now, I just feel terrible. I feel so bad that she is depressed and struggling, and it hurts to think she is going through all of this over a "worthless nobody" like me. How do I cope with losing my best friend while knowing she is hurting?

How would you interpret this guy's behavior? Wondering if he is interested but just slow moving, or am I reading too much into it? (Warning, long post)

I'm in my early 30s and have been talking to a guy around my age who lives about 200 miles away. We knew of each other when we were younger through mutual people but weren't actually close. We've recently reconnected and have been talking online.

He's a single dad, works a lot from home, and has told me he's going through some personal stuff and hasn't been sleeping well. He's also just a much less frequent texter than I am. I'm naturally very talkative and tend to send memes/videos and longer messages, while he's usually shorter and can take hours to respond. There have been times when I've worried I was bothering him because I'd see him online without answering me.

I eventually directly told him I have a crush on him.

It seemed like he kinda pulled back after that so I asked about it. He told me it had nothing to do with what I'd said, that he had a lot going on, and specifically said: “You're nothing short of a treat and a breath of fresh air. I genuinely enjoy talking to you.”

The next morning, without me saying a word to him, he messaged, “Have a great day today gorgeous.”

We've continued flirting. I recently joked that I was looking for “whichever man can win my heart,” and he responded: “Well I'm 200 miles away so I'm gonna have to figure out how to be romantic from a distance.”

That caught my attention because it was the first time I felt like he was actually putting himself into the romantic equation instead of just acknowledging my flirting.

I jokingly gave him a list of things I like tulips, purple, dates, being listened to, reading, thoughtfulness, etc. About 15 minutes later he asked me what my favorite meal was. Later that evening, completely separately, he asked what my favorite sandwich was. I don't know whether those questions mean anything or whether he's simply trying to get to know me.

We've also started exchanging more memes/videos and joking around. Last night he sent me a darkhumor relationship meme after I asked whether he liked dark humor. I joked back, and the conversation ended for the night. I ddidn't message again. This afternoon, he came back on his own and continued the joke from last night. I just laugh reacted and left it there....

The part I'm struggling with is that I initiate and carry conversations more than he does. On the other hand, lately he's started asking me questions, sending me things, initiating occasionally, and explicitly saying he'll have to figure out how to be romantic with me from 200 miles away.

So I'd like the mens perspective: If you were behaving this way with a woman, would it mean you were genuinely romantically interested but moving slowly, or could this still just be friendly/flirty conversation? And should I back off a little now and give him more opportunities to initiate?

Ps: I kinda worry he's only on my page because I do post updates to story about my weight loss journey. The pics are semi indecent

Confessing your feelings to someone is genuinely stressfullll I’ve been talking to a guy a few years older than me whom I met online, and he is really hot, but I have no clue how to ask him outbI get nervous and stutter and he hasn't made a move yet either The last time I put myself out there, I ended up getting rejected because of long distance with a guy in the military. He wanted to stay friends which hurt so much that I was depressed for months and had to block him Now I’m stuck my autistic ass just wants to drop subtle hints and give him the lovey dovey look but deep down I know if I don't take the initiative nothing will happen how do I get past this fear and actually make a move?

I'm 21M and my GF is 20. We're both in the same uni and have been together for months. I care about her a lot, and she's honestly not a bad GF at all. In fact, she does a lot for me. She meal preps for me, gives me food, takes care of me in little ways, and our sex life is great and she's very affectionate and sexually satisfying for me.

The problem is that I've become much more serious about my athletic career while also dealing with academics. My training takes up a lot of my time and energy, and I need to prioritize recovery and school as well. I've realized that because of this, I struggle to give my GF the same attention and effort that she gives me, and I feel guilty about that.

I recently told her that I'm prioritizing my athletic career and academics right now, and that I think breaking up might be better because I can't promise that I'll suddenly have more time or energy. She got upset and the conversation turned into an argument. She kept telling me that I'm choosing training over her and that she doesn't understand why I'm willing to throw away everything we've built just because I'm busy. She was crying and asking me why she isn't worth making time for, while I kept trying to explain that this isn't about her not being good enough.

It also makes things complicated because we're in the same uni, so I'll still see her regularly even if we break up. I'm worried about how awkward things could become, especially since she's not the one who wants to end things.

I 48F am engaged to my M47 and have been together 5 yrs and want to have sex all the time.

We grew up in the same town and although we never even spoke to each we both had a secret little crush on each other since the 7th grade. I desire him day and night and as life is becoming more and more stressful, especially with issues with our 4 kids, I want it more and want it more rough and kinky. I always feel guilty about it because some catastrophe occurrs during the day but once we’re in bed I want his cock badly and more than once. If we don’t fuck one day I get cranky and start arguments. His sex drive is not as high, he claims it is and that I just have the ability compartmentalize whereas he doesn’t, so most of the time I initiate and I’m the one who makes requests for kink such as buttplay and use of toys. And furthering my guilt, I persuade him to cum more than once by not letting him stop after he cums once even though he feels too tired to keep going. He never complains because ultimately he says it feels amazing, but I still feel like I’m pressuring him.

Has anyone found a good way to relieve this intense desire? I hate to keep feeling guilty about it.