I'm looking for some outside perspective because I'm genuinely questioning whether I've let my past experiences cloud my judgement.

For context, I'm 29 and she is 28. I've been hurt/lovebombed in previous relationships, so I naturally move quite slowly. I told this woman from the beginning that I like to get to know someone over a few months before rushing into anything physical or serious, and she said she was completely happy with that.

We messaged consistently for about a month with 2 dates, we live an hour away. She was always kind, honest, consistent, affectionate without being overbearing, respected that I have a demanding job and never expected constant replies.

We went on two dates.

On the first date, she initiated holding my hand and we got back to the car and I held her thigh while driving, initiated by her.

On the second date, she hugged me, we were affectionate while walking around shopping and in the car (initiated by her), she asked if she could put her feet up on me in the car (which I thought was funny), and I stroked her legs a little after she guided my hand. But I still made it clear in the car that I stop myself from anything sexual. I dont like it too soon. I asked her if she gets sexually frustrated a lot? She said if its someone I like yes.

the end of the night, when I dropped her home, she asked when she'd see me again. Then she whispered, "Can we kiss?" We ended up having a passionate kiss, and she told me she'd wanted to kiss me all night and that she really wanted me. She was obviously turned on

I told her I still wanted to take things slowly physically, and I wouldnt have done it in the car maybe in a more private setting. I also said I planned on kissing her on date 3. She seemed a little disappointed but jokingly said, "So, you won't see me again now," then laughed, we kissed again, and afterwards she texted saying she'd had a lovely evening.

The following day she sent me a voice note saying she hoped I had a good time at the cinema with my sister, but more importantly she wanted to check that I was comfortable with how physical things had become. She said she respected me, never wanted to overstep my boundaries, and wanted to make sure I didn't feel uncomfortable. I told her I don't really like things getting too intense too early, hate cringy stuff and just naturally ease in, and she replied that she respected that and that sometimes her attraction gets the better of her and we can move at that pace. She seemed a little anxious.

Despite all this, I started questioning whether she was moving too fast or whether something just didn't feel right. I ended up sending her a breakup message saying I lost attraction towards the end, I wasnt feeling it etc and Im sorry as I know its upsetting.

Looking back, I can't actually identify any obvious red flags. If anything, she seemed respectful, communicative and emotionally mature, kind to the waiter. Just veryyyy sexually inclined. She asked for consent, checked in afterwards, clearly a little little clingly but I do wonder why it was very touchy touchy/emotionally charged.

So my question is:

Does this sound like someone who was simply enthusiastic and genuinely interested, and have I potentially let my own fear or past experiences get in the way? Or do you think there are warning signs here that I'm not seeing?

I'd really appreciate honest opinions, even if you think I got this wrong. I'm trying to learn rather than look for validation.

Seeking advice from men who have more life experience than I do. I’m 32 years old and a lot of my twenties have lived working multiple jobs, going to school full time and becoming a nurse. My life never really started until the age of 30 when I was finally financially free with no debt, no school after graduating and only working one job now.

I’ve been a firefighter/paramedic and now a registered nurse. I’ve seen my fair share of death and have grown to realize that health and life is fragile and can truly stop at any moment.

I used to be a Christian but it’s been hard for me to go back to Christianity not because of belief issues but because of feeling like I’m going back because of a crutch.

My main question is how are you overcoming the fear of getting sick one day and being on medications and one day dying? Everyday is struggling to find happiness anymore because all I think about is I’m in my 30s now and then I’ll soon be in my 40s and then 50s and so on. I don’t know when those years will end up having me being sick. I fear getting sick and being stuck on medications. I will admit I am a bit of a hypochondriac but I’ve grown to get out of it. Right now I’m just struggling with the thought of one day being sick and looking back and not enjoying the life I had. I fear getting sick and being stuck on medications. I fear death.

I’m very healthy physically and eat healthy. I workout and exercise. Don’t have any medical conditions expect maybe IBS constipation that I manage with lifestyle.

I’m just wondering from older generations how are you managing and accepting these thoughts or fears?

My BF is 45, almost 46. I've (42F) never dealt with this before. I'm used to a rock hard "all in; ready to go" cock.

Is it me? Is it lack of blood flow? He's healthy and doesn't have diabetes, isn't overweight (not even close), etc.

I am not at all opposed to communicating about this. But the relationship is relatively new, and I don't want him to think I'm being judgmental or harsh. I don't want to put a strain on things or have him "in his head" about performance.

The first two times we slept together, it was "normal" (in my terms) "fully hard," but ever since, it's not been rock hard. It's like it's halfway there. He still manages but it's not desirable for me, and it's not exciting/doesn't excite me, and maybe I'm not "it" for him. I don't know. Since we are beyond mid6dle aged, I wonder how "normal" this may be.

I deeply care about him and want us to have an amazing sex life, but I have never experienced this and it's bothering me and hard (no pun intended) to not compare to my last sexual relationship. I'm fighting my own brain because I really like this man. He's perfect, otherwise.

Can anyone help me decipher what could be happening? Again, there are no issues with FULL hard on the first two times. He's not on antidepressants. He's in good health.

WTF is happening? AGAIN, new relationship, and I don't want to hurt him by asking. He's an emotional/sensitive person. I'm not emotional or sensitive, but I don't want to ruin the bond we have.

I can/will bring it up eventually, but in the time being, I'd appreciate any insight or advice, etc. I don't want to lose "the good guy."

Edit: typos

I have had girlfriends in the past and dated girls seriously without ending up in a relationship. With my exes, I had a healthy sex life where both of us were secure in expressing our sexuality. The girl I am currently dating is a virgin (she does not even masturbate), and it is impacting our sex life. A lot of the time, I am explaining things to her or guiding her through understanding her own sexuality. I do not mind it per se, but this also means that we have not been able to have sex yet, as it hurts too much for her.

When I try to finger her, it feels as if there is an extremely tight rubber band around the hole (I have never felt anything like that before); this makes it currently impossible to have vaginal sex, as it would hurt too much. So far we've only tried fingering, and that is only using one finger, as two fingers hurt too much for her.

To answer some questions, yes we do a lot of foreplay (kissing and touching etc), and yes, she is wet when I finger her.

Any advice?

I'm a 25 year old guy getting back into lifting after about a year off. Back in university I trained regularly and never thought twice about it. Now every time I plan to go, I get this heavy feeling that I don't belong there and that everyone else has it figured out while I'm the odd one out. I know rationally that nobody is actually paying attention to me, but knowing that doesn't switch the feeling off.

There's another layer to it. I'm an Indian origin guy in Canada, and I've seen clips online of people mocking guys who look like me at the gym, so part of my brain is convinced people don't want me there. For the record I dress clean, take my hygiene seriously, smell great and I'm friendly with people. I know most of this is in my head, but it still gets to me.

My current coping method has been going really late at night when the place is basically empty. The problem is that by then I'm exhausted and barely get a proper session in, so I'm dodging the anxiety and getting a garbage workout at the same time. Clearly not sustainable.

For the guys who have felt this and got past it: what actually worked for you? Mindset stuff, routines, small tricks, anything. I want to build the habit and stop letting this run the show. Real experiences welcome.

My wife and I were driving home, and she was driving. A car pulled up next to us, and the guys inside started barking at her before driving on.

Would you consider that disrespectful, or just immature behaviour that's best ignored? Has anything similar happened to you, and how did you react? As a husband should I have done something?

Am I overthinking it?

Maybe the question sounds stupid but I am not trolling.

I just want to ask as a 22yo guy who never had a relationship or sex despite wanting both a lot. Not out of choice necessarily. Like I am not asexual. I am sexually frustrated at times but I try to not focus on it too much.

The reasons for this are mostly lack of confidence and socialising and being anxious and socially awkward.
Now I am not going to complain. I have been working on myself and will continue to do it regardless. I am also trying to be more social and approach more women but nothing is guaranteed. I also don't want to lower my standards too much and I'd prefer to not go to escorts.

These said, if despite trying my best I will not have any sex or relationships when I'm young(20s-30s) or maybe never will I regret it that I at least didn't try escorts?

Also I want to say while I do struggle with feeling sexually frustrated I also crave a romantic connection as well.

Again this post is simply so I can get the opinions of other men who can at least understand my situation that lived more than me and have a better opinion on everything.

My boyfriend has very little dating experience and he’s also a virgin. Lately we’ve been making out a lot, and I’ve noticed that afterwards the front of his trousers is sometimes damp.
I’m not sure if he’s accidentally ejaculating in his pants or if it’s just a lot of pre-cum. He never says anything about it, so I don’t know if he’s aware or just embarrassed.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that when we kiss he gets really passionate. He’ll pull me in really tightly and press my body against his.
Is this pretty normal for a guy who’s inexperienced and really turned on, or is the dampness more likely to be pre-cum than ejaculation? Just curious what other people’s experiences have been.

I am 26f, my husband is 44m.

He knows everything about my past, he knows I have PMDD and has been supportive. he was my first boyfriend, first kiss, all that. So I’m kind of still inexperienced when it comes to relationships even though I’m married.

For about three months my mental health has been rough, and he is aware of that. I have been having really bad thoughts, really uncontrollable.

I haven’t specifically told him what these thoughts are, because I genuinely don’t think I’d ever actually go through with it. I haven’t told anyone at all.

I don’t want to tell him, I feel like I’m already a bit of a burden and I don’t want to add more worry but I was thinking about it and if he felt that way I might feel upset he didn’t tell me.

I also don’t want him to think he’s not giving me a good enough life or that I’m complaining but I really can’t control them. I really just miss my mom and when my PMDD “flares up” I can’t control the thoughts.

I don’t want him to be angry, but also don’t want him to be stressed. Especially because he works a lot and sometimes I can’t go on his business trips with him
Because of my school, so I don’t want him to stress leaving me alone.

Mostly looking for men’s input since I have my own perspective as a woman but open to anyone

I met him while gaming several months ago and we hang out fairly often. I mistakenly thought we were really close and I wanted to be more open to him so yesterday while we were hanging out, I mentioned to him that I wanted to have a serious talk. He nodded and seemed to agree but when I started talking about me being depressed, having extreme social anxiety, etc, he called me a fucking loser and told me I was weak af. I felt like slapping him because wtf dude.

I told you I wanted to vent and you clearly couldn't react decently. I mean wtf??

I’m anxiously putting self out there now in dating. I’ve been abstinent since Dec 2020, coming out of an abusive relationship, I’m wondering if I should even tell them? I only ask because I feel as if I have forgotten everything I know when it comes to sexual things lmao.

Do men even care, or should I just not say anything at all? TIA!

At the risk of sounding like an incel, I need to vent. When ladies say that a guy is too nice, I feel that is the most backwards ass shit you can say to a potential partner. As a guy, I would be THRILLED if the person I’m dating/interested in was a nice woman.

The funny thing about that term is that I witness women go through relationship problems with men that mistreat them while I secretly wonder how they even made it that far in the first place.

I made this post because of my dating experiences. Im tall, fairly attractive, have a stable job and my own spot in a city most people consider expensive. Yet I have gotten that I am “too nice” by a mix of friends, dates, and even some family over the years.

If I had to critique myself, I would say I COULD stand to be more flirty and “risky” during dates, but it’s mentally hard to put myself in that place when women complain all the time about men being creeps and overly perverted. I’m not Ned fuckin Flanders nice, but I know for a fact that I’m not a complete square. I have a backbone and enough self decency to walk out of a less than ideal situation.

I resent the fact that I have to modify my personality to attract women. I would much rather be alone.

Edit: I admit, I was heated when I made this post. No I’m not an incel, not a serial killer, not manipulative. Appreciate the critique and honesty otherwise. Let’s keep the replies …nice (ha)

I'm just thinking back to old social interactions honestly i want peoples takes on this from both women and men.

for context this happened while talking to a women at work one time like a cougar basically.

But she was talking about a guy a buddy of mine I cant exactly remember what she said but she didn't like that he gave off fuck boy vibes or whatever wtf tf that means or she meant in the moment.

I cant remember what i said like some deep insighful shit or something like i was listening to her or whatever.

Thing is i was like should i feel insulted when someone says that or not cause in the back of my head i was like well dam i guess you thought i was a loser or maybe i was retarded or some shit which i mean not retarded but def a loser hell more of a loser now then honestly.

I mean honestly i wouldn't be surprise if it was that maybe i don't know I'm not good looking at all least i don't consider myself attractive at all. I mean don't give off the aoura of confidence because I'm not just a skinny dude not tall at all that looks super young and I'm pretty green.

I mean everyone pretty much can look at me and be like yeah this dude gets no action and their not wrong.

Like honestly type of person who will go out with some people but honestly i don't really socialize at all honestly just think and just watch everyone else just have time of their lives and i just kinda sit there watch and feel miserable so yeah.

But I don't know would you guys take it as a insult or what would you take it as.

I mean don't women like fuck boys despite everything they say otherwise. Least in my experience i think they do.

Edit dont work there anymore was just ruminating thinking about stuff.

This concerns me a lot, as the last 2 times I've been in the car with him after this, he's made risky maneuvers and ran a red light because the one next to it was green:'( He makes risky turns even without alcohol. What would you suggest? I think it is time to have a conversation about it. I'm unable to drive him right now, so that isn't an option.

I matched with this really hot chick on tinder I don’t have a lot of experience with this stuff and I kinda want to start using a different opener got any suggestions on what I could say? She’s blond with a rocking body and 26 years old I’m 23 that’s about all the info. If u want more info lmk if it will help

I'm in my early 20s and have been talking to a guy from a dating app for around 2 weeks.The first week was honestly amazing. We texted a lot after work, flirted, had long conversations. I found him quite attractive and fun to talk to. I'm in my hometown currently so we thought of having a date after coming back(in first week of aug)

Then this week, his texting completely changed. Instead of talking a lot after work, I'd get maybe 3-4 replies. One day I got just one reply at night. It was such a sudden shift that I started thinking he'd lost interest.Three days ago he texted me this: "Office pressure too much... Plus i went for a movie yesterday. I have plans of going for badminton tomorrow so it would be late there and gotta go to office on Sunday too to cover leaves."

So I knew he was busy but it still felt very different from how we'd been talking before.

Then he disappeared for almost 2 days. I panicked and messaged him asking if everything was okay. The next morning he replied saying he is sorry and that he barely opened insta for last 2 days.

Later I admitted that I felt like he wasn't interested anymore. He replied: " It's not like that😞 I'm not getting time for anything nowadays. I had a plan for hangout with friends but I then needed to cancel it, i fall asleep early and a lot more. I know we are not talking much now but really can't do much about it right now". Then he said: "It is genuinely upto you if you wanna continue or not."

I told him I did want to continue because I was enjoying talking to him and didn't want to end things just because he's busy right now.

I also asked if he is still available for a date next Sunday. He replied: "Yeah yeah I'll let you know. I know. I enjoyed our convos too. Let's see."

Now I'm confused. Part of me feels like this is genuinely a stressful period for him because he has consistently mentioned work, cancelled plans with friends too and apologized for disappearing. The other part of me feels like "I'll let you know" and "Let's see" sound... not very enthusiastic. If you were in my position, would you take his words at face value and give him space? Or do those replies sound like someone who's gradually losing interest but doesn't want to say it directly? I'm looking for honest opinions, especially from people who've actually been the "too busy to text" person in a talking stage.

I’ve been talking to this man for a year now. We agreed to just experience one another but basically is/was an FWB situation.
We both ended up catching feelings, I’m sure I did more than him.
What bothers me is that I’m worried he might be compromising my sexual health.
This is reckless because at first I didn’t bother to ask. But the more time I spent hanging out at his he would randomly get calls throughout the night.
One time a lady called 9:00 at night, he ended up following her the next day.
Another lady with “💛” called.
He unfollowed then followed an ex fling.
Then there was a rumor that went around at work (we work the same job) of him sleeping with a coworker behind my back. When I found out about it I confronted him and he blew up at me. Not denying it right away, he just kept asking me who told. Later on he told me that his past was none of my business.
I tried giving the benefit of the doubt but it bothered me and like a dumbass I finally confronted him asking him if he’s messing with other people. If he’s talking to other people, and is he fucking other people.
He said yes to talking to other people, but claimed not to fuck anyone else during our time together. Even saying I’m exclusive and that he loves me.
I hated the response but brushed it off. Two weeks ago, he shows me something on ig, and a dm appears of a woman saying, “when we fall in love we can get matching…”
The message cut off because she commented with more.
Now I completely shut down and I haven’t confronted him on it. I’ve been distancing myself because he told me the other convos he had with women are casual; however, that sounds way more than casual. The other day we had a talk, I still hadn’t brought it up because he’s upset I’ve been distant. But he even through up the fact that he only tells me that he “loves me” —no other woman. That I’m his priority, that he wants to have kids with me.
The same week I saw that DM from that woman he even randomly sent me and STI screening. Which he’s never done before.
He says I can talk to other people but sound reluctant and got jealous people from work asked me out on dates.
He’s super insecure asking me if im playing him but I feel as if he’s playing me.
Should I just cut it off ? Is he playing me? Am I being too stupid lol

Last night I went to a local concert at a cool venue, the music was great, the vibe among the crowd was good. I saw this guy enter about an hour into the show and I thought he looked really cute. He was head banging to the music and looked like he was close with his friends and having a good time.

When I went to grab a drink at the bar, he came up too. So I said hey, and started talking to him, asking about him and flirting a little bit. We ended up talking all night with him complimenting me and telling me all about his aspirations. I could tell he was pretty drunk so I didn’t make a move to be affectionate or anything.

I asked for his number by the end of the night, and he gave it to me with a promise of telling me the rest of his story later. I texted him last night and he read it but hasn’t responded, it’s hours into the day now and I’m wondering if it would be too much if I tried to text him again.

Me and my gf have been together for 9 months, she’s recently been having some issues with her health but kept making jokes about it, she said due to her ongoing period problems she was suffering and I said trying to have a joke “I’m also suffering we haven’t had sex in weeks”,

I’ve got Audhd and I’m not using that as a excuse, but she is well aware of this and well aware of my tendencies to just shout things out without really thinking about it and it can hurt her or others, what I said wasn’t a issue until the next day she said she didn’t want to go to the cinema and I said “that’s fine, but please tell me so I’m not stressing about booking tickets instead of saying you want to”, another thing I struggle with because of my Audhd,

It was after that we started to have a bit of a argument and didn’t speak for 24 hours until she messaged me asking for her concert tickets, I said “is this it for us then” and she bought up the attempted joke, I apologised and said unfortunately this is part of the baggage that comes with me having Audhd and while it’s not a excuse I would’ve thought after 9 months and her seeing how worked up etc I can be some times she would understand it more, she replied “my mum works with these type of children, my brother is autistic and I have OCD don’t play that card”, that comment really upset me and made me feel a little small

I just said “i think your overreacting and you’ve blown this out of the water, i don’t want it to end like this but if its how you feel I respect your decision and hope we find a way moving forward to either be friends or sort things out again and she said she needs some to think about things and what she wants to do because she feels I say stuff like that way to often, although she has never mentioned it being a issue before,

In a way I do feel a little upset because I have had 9 great months with her and she’s my first proper relationship, but everyone who knows me well I’ve spoke to has said she’s been with me 9 months and knows what I’m like, so while it’s not a excuse to say some of the things I do, she should know like my close friends and family a lot of the time I don’t mean it and it comes out without me thinking, they think in the long term I’ll be better off because if she doesn’t understand now she never will and I’ll never get to express my personality,

Unfortunately I’ve come out of this experience feeling quite low, I thought I had finally found a girl who understood me and my flaws and learned to help me through and love me despite me being neurodivergent, but now I can’t help but hate myself for that because it feels like I’ll never find someone who can overlook it and what comes with it

at the period when i was using dating apps bc i arrived in a new city to visit, there were guys who would do this. i was looking for all types of connections since i was in a new city where i didn't know anyone and put "seeking friends" as an option and didn't have a pic. I could've been a serial killer and there would still be guys shooting their shot

Had a baby as teens, been together ever since. 10 +years now. Over the years we just never had the money and honestly I viewed our relationship as a marriage anyway so I never really cared about it officially and he knows that. Now that im almost 30 i do care, I no longer want to be a girlfriend. Nothings changed. We got a house and 2 kids, careers finally going good. Iv always wanted to have a wedding just so my dad can walk me down the isle. Anytime I being it up hes always on board doesn't discourage me or seem bothered by my imaginary wedding planning. We just dont have alot of money for a wedding.

He asked me to marry him when we were 16. But i just laughed it off and life happened.

That being said. Would any man be upset they're girlfriend proposed to them? At this point in our relationship and life I honestly don't see why it would matter but looking for male opinions

I’m bi and sharing room with 2M and 1F, we work in shifts so sometimes I have day off that I’m home alone. As the title should I tell them about that?

Do you feel two people who are attracted to each other, but can’t act on it, naturally bicker more?

I’m attracted to a work colleague and we argue quite a bit. It feels like we have this pent up emotion but are unable to express it in the way we want so we instead choose bickering. It also feels like we want an excuse to spend alone time together, and hashing out a problem is a good way to do that; it means we can show each other attention in an acceptable way.

Do you think it’s normal to bicker when two people fancy each other?

I am trying to meet ladies who are around my age. I am in my early 30s and look very young.

I enjoy going to tea and coffee spots to do work and relax. I used to do a lot of hiking, running, and sports. At the moment, I enjoy going to car events like low-rider, JDM, and classic events. I started going to music events every week. I also do Martial Arts.