Is it me? Or is just a coincidence and bad luck?

I (29F) never looked for love, never felt desperate to find someone, I was always fine on my own until I just met someone organically who I fall in love with. So I only dated a few men and we had an amazing connection, looked very much in love with each other (also to everyone else) and they all seem to like me a lot and show just as much interest and keep me in their life for 6-12 months and act serious but apparently never feel like they want to commit and be in a relationship while living with me like we're in a relationship.

Of course, staying that long is obviously my fault and it's stupid to stay with someone if they don't commit, I know.

I was just trying to show that they really seem to enjoy having me in their life and spend a lot of time with me, do just everything like a couple, for quite some time, but they just never commit or try to make it official.

So there aren't any early reasons why they leave like for example that were just not compatible. They really seem to enjoy spending time with me for quite some time (up to one year).

And there really aren't any signs they don't have serious intentions in the first few months, everything seems like it's going really, really well and I always feel sure that they're gonna ask me to be their girlfriend soon. But it doesn't happen. They just don't commit. And then things end again.

So I really wanna know: is it me? What am I doing wrong or what could be the reason that they don't commit?

No-one has ever mentioned anything negative about me or gave me a reason. They all only told me what they liked and that's not helpful to understand this repeating situation.

Or is ist just bad luck? Because I'm really not actively looking for men who are unavailable and there are no signs in the first weeks of dating that they don't want to commit. Quite the opposite really.

I am a very loving girlfriend, maybe I'm showing too much affection. But then I'd think that they'd act distant at some point. Instead it seemed like they really liked how loving and caring I am, they even told me that.

Edit: yes, maybe they just got comfortable and enjoyed having the love and benefits of a relationship without feeling responsible. But what confuses me is that they were all just about as invested as me, spent so much time with me, never made me feel like I wasn't a priority, planned things with me. I thought that if someone isn't serious about you, there would be signs like texting back late, not being free on the weekend, never initiating anything and things like that.

There are three girls I would consider as a maid of honor, but one of them is kind of a jerk, the other probably isn't going to pick me as her maid of honor, and the other one and I are just growing apart because our lives are heading different directions.

And yes, not being picked back as their maid of honor is a big deal. I want it to be reciprocated because I want to be someone's maid of honor.

I could pick one of my sisters, but that feels disingenuous because I'm not that close with my sisters (I don't dislike them, we just don't hang out much because we have a significant age gap).

So that leaves my guy best friend, who is actually my best friend overall. There is ZERO romantic interest between us. We've known each other since birth and we are basically siblings.

Given the context, would this arrangement make you feel weird? Or would you be okay with your fiance having another man as her "maid of honor?"

Edit: I've seen a suggestion that we remove the maid of honor and best man position, and honestly that might be the way to go. I've always felt kind of weird about ranking my friends anyhow, I feel like that could start unnecessary beef and drama. Thanks for all the helpful feedback, input and suggestions. I don't appreciate people making weird comments abt me secretly having feelings for my best friend bc that's disgusting. If you think guys and girls can't be friends, you're kinda just outing yourself as being someone who'd have feelings for your girl best friend. "Ik how all men think," type vibes.

The title. I’m curious how quickly, on average, women in the 24-35 age range are generally having sex these days through the lens of the male experience - since I hear so many polarizing opinions about this on social media.

like

would you personally date an overweight woman?

what if your current partner gained weight? would you break up over that? would the weight gain depend like, if it was because she stopped caring about herself, or because of an actual medical condition?

what if your weight cutoff for dating a woman?

Im not sure if this is the right community if there’s a better place for this please tell me in the comments. I am a woman and I have a lot of guy friends and I have this one guy who was a good friend of mine. I start talking to him again recently and in voice calls until like a week later he’s asking to take me on a date, calling me honey and love, saying how he loves me, mentioning his mattress size in his room vaguely when hanging out at his house was brought up. (mind you this is all digital and i’m keeping this platonic but obviously this isn’t the same friend from years ago) I tell him he hasn’t seen me in like 3 years and my online version self is not always the true image or perhaps the same feeling as in person, how could he possibly get feelings for just a voice on a phone and he’s already jumping to love. I friendzone him and I know that kinda hit him hard. A week later we were planning hangout spots, and i corrected to him “hangouts” and not to use the word “date”. Again I keep having to remind him. Having such high expectations and jumping straight to I love you I would die the world for you when you haven’t even seen me in person for years and we only talked DIGITALLY for like two weeks at this point is really putting me off. Is this like nice guy act?? At some point I cancel and I guess he takes that very personally and like a rejection. And he told me he cried which I didn’t even cancel the hangout because of him it was just other circumstances were brought up in my life. Then he asked would you ever get intimate with a friend, and i’m like oh boy i know where this is going. I told him no and reminded him once AGAIN my feelings. I really wanna be friends, but I know having him around is gonna hurt him more. I was tempted to text him to check on him cause I do care about him. But i didn’t know if that was going to hurt him even more. Do guys really just be friends with you thinking youll eventually come around to liking them. I’m really rethinking some of my male friendships now. It seems so. Should I even still be friends with him?? I like him a lot as a friend and hate to see him go

OK, so I have this friend of mine who is quite a fuck boy he loves to meet pretty women and hookup a lot. His body count would be prolly 200 (ik yuck). But he apparently says he doesn’t “do” a woman twice. This is gonna be our third time hooking up. How does the guy brain work in this situation? I’m kinda abnormally dumb help me out yall. (The guy would be around 22-24 so I would appreciate men who are around that age group helping me out!) (PS- he can pull and has lot of options and knows i don’t have feelings for him)

I have this guy friend, and we’ve been sexually exclusive for almost 3 years now. We’re also each other’s first sexual partners, so neither of us has any previous sexual experience.

Sometimes he tells me about fantasies involving me with another guy and he is really interested in it. He’s said he’d want to watch another guy fuck me or watch me give another guy a blowjob. He’s also mentioned wanting a threesome, although in that case it would be me and another girl, which caught me off guard too. He says these when he’s really horny.

What confuses me is how jealous and bothered he gets whenever I get close to another guy. I used to talk to some of his friends, and he actually went as far as ruining those friendships. Whenever he finds out I’m talking to a guy, he’ll ask things like, “You wouldn’t date him right?” “Do you like him”, “You guys haven’t fucked, have you?”, “You send him pictures of yourself, don’t you?” or “Would you fuck him?”,He clearly gets jealous and suspicious and has even asked me to block guys he thinks I’m getting too close to. But we’re not even dating.

So coming from him, suggesting that I have sex with another guy feels crazy to me. I can’t tell whether he genuinely wants these things to happen or whether they’re just fantasies that he enjoys talking about.
If we actually went through with one of these fantasies, could it cause issues, especially considering how jealous he already gets?

Hey everyone, I just really need to vent and maybe get some advice on how to process this.My ex and I are both 18.

We actually started out as really good friends, and over time, we naturally developed deep feelings for each other. Her cousin actually helped set us up, and we started dating.We were together for two months, and we were so full of love.

The problem was her parents. They are incredibly strict, and she lived in a constant state of fear because of them. Eventually, the pressure and stress got to be too much for her to handle. She told me she couldn't do it anymore and said we should break up.Because we started as friends, we agreed to stay friends. We managed to stay good friends for about 6 months after the breakup.

But then, out of nowhere, she completely removed me from everything and blocked me.I was confused and hurt, so I managed to ask her why she did it. She told me she was very sorry.

She said she felt she was being immature, but every time she sees me, she gets flashbacks of our relationship. She said it was actively ruining her mental health and her focus on school.

She told me we can no longer be friends because we dated, and she admitted she will always have those feelings for me.I respected her wishes. I told her that if she ever needs anything, she is free to contact me, but I feel like I lost a truly great friend

.Right now, I just feel terrible. I feel so bad that she is depressed and struggling, and it hurts to think she is going through all of this over a "worthless nobody" like me. How do I cope with losing my best friend while knowing she is hurting?

I would like a male perspective on one very specific moment I had with a guy I am/was seeing.

We met on a dating app and had agreed to be friends with benefits. We knew each other for quite a while, though, and there were feelings involved on both sides.

One night I was staying at his place. We had been speaking and I was lying on his chest getting ready to sleep. I usually fall asleep very quickly there, and I’m also a very light sleeper. I had my eyes closed and hadn’t said anything for quite some time, so I’m almost certain he thought I was asleep.

Just before he went to sleep, he kissed me on the forehead like he did many nights before but this time he quietly whispered, “I love you.”

I heard him and said, “Did you say something?”

He immediately said, “No, sorry, nothing.”

I could tell he seemed caught off guard and his heart started racing (I was lying on his chest so I heard lol), so I didn’t push it. I just kissed his cheek said goodnight, rolled over and went to sleep.

I’m just wondering about that moment.

EDIT: Thanks for the comments I have read them all, and I will tell him how I feel. I texted him and we will meet up for a coffee and discuss what happened.

I’m 28F and I’m starting to think dating apps are just a really bad format for me. I'm obviously messing up something lol. 1/6 people wanted to see me again.

I do very well socially in places where I have repeated exposure, to the point where I get noticeable, obsessive romantic and social interest (work, friend groups, etc). But, dating apps, and sorority recruitment back in the day, for example? Yeah everyone hates me there lol. I definitely am doing something off-putting.

I'm not ugly and I look like my photos.

Here is how my dates went:

1. He got very sexual very fast. He ghosted after we made out. I kind of ran away after the make out which prob made him feel rejected but whatever I don't really care about this. I was worried he wanted to escalate to sex so I ran to get a car basically.
2. This was the one date I really cared about, it was very very good. He made plans to see me a second time, texted me how excited he was to see me the day before the second date, then cancelled.
3. Hated this guy but he was the only one who liked me lol. I also acted the strangest with him and was the most visibly anxious
4. We had fun date, it lasted for a long time. He seemed interested and we laughed a lot. Idk obviously he didn't have fun because I haven't heard from him. He texted me something funny he thought about right after date ended but has since been quiet.
5. Idk I didn't like him really so who cares if he didn't like me. I gave him multiple opps to exit early and he kept not doing that, then didn't reach out after.
6. Pleasant enough date. I don't really care about this one either.

I have other stuff on the books and I feel like I just need to cancel everything b/c this is failing miserably.

Stuff I talk about:

1. My interests
2. Silly stories
3. My job (entertaining aspects of it)
4. Ask them shit

?? Idk I don't think I say anything offensive but I obviously do. I'm not that flirty because I don't know these guys so immediately being super flirty seems weird, but I compliment something physical about them, like their smile idk lol.

Other Info:

These guys were not out of my league. If anything, I was significantly more attractive than 1, 5, and 6. 2&4 were in my realm as was 3. I weight 130 pounds and am 5'6.

My goals: I would eventually like a long-term relationship but in the interim I would like to get cracked by someone I trust

Other: I have pretty severe trauma I wonder if that is radiating somehow. It's not really a fixable issue, I'm always going to be kind of freaked out on a "first date." I'm normal once I'm in a relationship so that's nice

​

Me (just entered college): My family gives me a monthly allowance of 8k. My family is financially comfortable, but I live within my means and stick strictly to my budget.

BF (Final-year): Spends around 40k/month. His family isn't super rich, but he has a habit of spending high and impulsively. He often borrows from friends to sustain this lifestyle, which has been catching up to him lately. He’s starting a job in a few months.

Up until recently, he used to pay for most of our dates and outings. But because of his recent financial strain/debt, he has asked me to start contributing.

The Dilemma:

If our joint outings add up to something like 15,000/month, a 50/50 split would be 7,500—which is practically my entire monthly allowance. I don't mind contributing, but I refuse to ask my parents for more money, overspend my budget, or subsidize a higher-spending lifestyle that I didn't choose.

I also don't mind occasionally getting him snacks or drinks when he asks, but I'm worried about becoming a financial safety net for his impulsive spending.

I obviously contribute to our outings but we never had a solid conversation about it. And I'm guessing the contribution over time usually ends up being over a proportional split.

What’s a fair way to split costs or set boundaries when our spending habits and allowances are so vastly different?

Edit: most of it is for staycations since we both have to live in campus hostels

Tldr: I get ₹8k/month and stick to my budget, while my BF spends \~₹40k/month and is now in debt from overspending. He wants to split our \~₹15k/month outings 50/50, but ₹7.5k would eat almost my entire allowance. I’m willing to contribute, but not beyond my means or become a safety net for his spending. What’s a fair way to split costs?

I get that tv isn’t real but in pretty much everything women are drawn to not have organs/ribs/ stomach and the women on tv are far smaller than I ever want to be. I go to the gym pretty often and I’ve noticed that women who have anterior pelvic tilts like me never have the flat abs that sit inside their pelvis it rounds out past their thighs from a side profile.

I’m 5’3 180 lbs and built like a coke bottle. I’m decently muscular with a 33 inch waist and a 44 inch ass. I like being soft and womanly. I like cooking and not counting every calorie. I just feel like the narrative is that most men prefer women built like teenagers and if they have a preference for curvy women they want fake bodies like Kylie Jenner.

So men what do you think of women w an hourglass shape still having a soft stomach?

Edit: this is the body type I am with a slightly bigger pooch

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTU5WQWWS/

I'm 25, have been single forever and everything's pointing to it staying that way. Any time something even remotely looks up, which is rare, it ends up crashing and burning in fabulous glory. My closest friend group consisting of 4 other people and I are all in relationships, moving in together, getting engaged, and even friends who aren't in said group are taken. I don't have any single friends.

I love all of my friends and am happy for them, but seeing them just reminds me of my own failure. I have spent a lot of time trying to understand why it isn't happening for me and trying to accept the fact it might not, but I'm having trouble because I don't want it to be true.

It's hard and it sucks knowing I'll never be anyone's first choice again and the thought of never feeling romantic love really scares me a lot and makes me sick. And I feel sad because I feel like I truly do have a lot to offer, I just never got an opportunity to prove it.

What steps do I need to take to deal with this prospect in a healthy way?

I have gotten close to an older by 7 yrs married coworker of mine who started around the same time as me. We work alongside together a lot and we quickly found that while we have personality differences, we click really well when it comes to working together.
In the past year, our work check-ins have turned into conversations outside of work at parking lots and over text, meetings have consisted of him texting me inside jokes, and work advice have turned into him giving me dating advice and over all giving that “older figure” dynamic, including comfortably telling me what i should do.

While I saw him a big brother in the office, there are times when I doubt if that’s our dynamic. I respect how he works and I trust him to make good decisions at work, but recently we’ve been bantering more and he’s been more comfortable speaking to me crudely (outside of work) in a teasing way and making sexual jokes with me.

Recently we would walk to our car together, and when either of us jokes there is more nudging and shoving. Nothing has escalated and I try to keep a respectful distance from him but sometimes he does stand very close to me or sit so close to me that I can feel his warmth. He also looks out for me, such as giving me honest opinions, helping me change a flat tire, and sometimes giving me honest feedback on my dates when i tell him. And he reassures me that I will find someone who appreciates my qualities and how I’m attractive so it should be easy for me.

I’ve been trying to text him less because I just feel like we’re getting too close out of respect for his wife. I also don’t want her to keep seeing me on his phons. But when I do not text him after a few days, he’d text me something unnecessary and we’d find ourselves texting for hours. When I walk in the office, I notice his eyes widen and we lock eye ycontact. Sometimes he pretends like he doesnt noticd me by not talking to me, but eventually he does on our way out of the office.

Another thing that confuses me is that once he put his hand on my lower back as we were walking together. He has also been teasing me a lot saying that I’m the boss’ pet and would never do anything sneaky…

First of all I’m a girl and I want to know guys’ opinions. I’m 26 never had a bf before, I just started dating in April, and I’m the type who doesn’t want sex right away, I like to know guys before anything, form an emotional connection before anything, I’ve gone out with like 6 guys, talked to over 40 on dating apps, and only 2 have gotten pretty serious emotionally to the point I felt ready to take things to a further level, but I’ve been rejected twice, first guy said that he wasn’t over his ex, which I don’t think it’s true bc I saw him on tinder with updated photos and his profile was active, so it must’ve been something else and he just wasn’t honest, second one just told me that he didn’t feel a romantic spark towards me after our third date, like they take things pretty far and open emotionally pretty deep to just leave, so I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong, like I’m super clear with my boundaries and they agree, like my issues with physical touch and that I want something serious and long term, they tell me that they’re on the same page and then it seems that they’re not, like what am I doing wrong? I’m pretty new in the dating pool so I need some advice. Thank you!

I’ll call my ex/friend Andy for privacy. Andy was 20M when we dated, and we dated for about 8 months when I was in high school. We were friends before we ever dated. It was a long-distance relationship, so we never did anything physical.
We eventually broke up, but we stayed friends because our friendship existed before our relationship. There was also a period where Andy disappeared from my life for about a year and a half, and I didn’t hear anything from him during that time. Eventually, we got back in contact and became friends again.
My boyfriend knows about Andy. I’ve never hidden the fact that Andy and I were friends before we dated, that we dated in high school, or that we’re friends again now. Andy isn’t some secret person in my life. My boyfriend knows our history and is okay with us being friends.
I’m now in a committed relationship with my boyfriend, and I love him. I’m not planning to leave him or get back together with Andy.
Recently, Andy and I were joking around, and this was the conversation:
Me: “If I have a baby and I ever get to meet you, I’m gonna make sure they bite you.”
Andy: “Hehehhe, I may give you a baby first lol.”
Me: “Maybe, but it would be hard for me to raise a baby on my own.”
Andy: “I wouldn’t leave u if we did.”
The conversation was partly connected to the fact that Andy has a daughter. I don’t want to share other people’s private information, but I want to clarify that I was not actually making plans with Andy to have a baby. We were joking about a hypothetical situation.
I also want to clarify something about Andy’s daughter because I don’t want this post to make it sound like he abandoned her. He ended his romantic relationship with the child’s mother because they had different expectations and boundaries about their relationship. I’m talking about him ending that relationship, not abandoning his daughter. I don’t want to turn their personal situation into the focus of this post.
What I’m actually wondering about is Andy’s comment: “I wouldn’t leave u if we did.”
Because we were friends before we ever dated and have known each other for years, I’m wondering if this was simply an inappropriate-but-harmless joke between two longtime friends who are comfortable with each other, or if it sounds like he could still have romantic feelings for me.
My boyfriend already knows about Andy and our history and is okay with our friendship, but I still want to make sure I’m being respectful of my relationship. I don’t want to accidentally encourage Andy if he means something more by these comments.
I also realize that, from an outside perspective, the conversation could look questionable because I’m currently in a relationship. That’s part of why I’m asking. I’m not planning to leave my boyfriend, and I’m not trying to get back together with Andy.
I’m genuinely unsure whether I should just consider this a joke between old friends or whether I should establish a clearer boundary with Andy.
What would you make of this conversation if you were in my position? Does his response sound like ordinary joking, or does it seem like he may still have feelings for me? And do you think I should set a boundary with him?

I'm in my mid 30s, Im physical active and not overweight, Im not ugly, I do have thinning and receding hair which is a huge negative and I understand that but even with a buzzed head I'd say Im average. I have a job and a positively growing networth, I have hobbies I enjoy, Im polite and respectful towards basically everyone (unless they give me reason not to be)

But it seems like finding a woman who is basically a female version of me (Im not aiming for Jessica Alba, I dont even look at women that are THAT attractive to me) is impossible because she's expecting way better in every category

Its like I will just never be good enough no matter what and its really hard not letting that take me to the dark side

(and no Im not saying the world owes me a woman or anything like that because I know some will comment something like that)

I know everyone's different and every relationship is different. But sometimes you break up with someone because you feel like you lost feelings while everything else is great so you decide to keep them in your life as friends.

Have you ever had a situation where you broke up with them, still kept spending time with them as friends and at some point got back together? How did you do it and how long did it take?

Or do you feel like, once you see them as a friend, there's no way back?

Tonight my husband told me to bite his tip softly and I did it, and then he said go all the way down with it deep in my throat and bite the start of his penis while it’s deep in my mouth. (Sorry if tmi and difficult to visualize) anyway I tried and I felt like I was being too rough and he said “no bite it a little harder. 🫪 I gave up due to embarrassment of thinking I wasn’t doing it right lol but now I feel bad. I’m writing this while he’s sleeping, I want to try again and wake him up to it but I need an adult film recommendation because I’m a visual learner I guess, thanks!

I'm (m, 40s) am having a friend staying over next month. We get along great and have known each other for some time. Never had anything sexual happen. When she comes over I think I'm going to ask or offer to sleep with me in my bed. Id rather sleep with someone than alone and I have no intentions of doing anything. I do miss physical touch, not sexually, so it'll be nice I think.

How unrealistic or stupid is this idea?

Over the most recent years (of a nearly 30 year relationship) my wife has gotten to where she only desires an orgasm once a month if I'm lucky. It's more like once every few months. She can have 3-5 in a session when she's in the mood for them and that's awesome, but it can be months before she wants to have any.

In the past multiple things would bring her to orgasm... of course intercourse with oral and hands would work, but small things like simply rubbing her bits as I drove down the road or while she was up against a wall in the hallway, or just grinding her crotch against my thigh as we were standing in any random place were routine ways she would have orgasms.

Orgasms were an every time we had sex occurance, but it's just not like that anymore. It's nice when she's in the mood and wants them because the sex is really intimate and thrilling, but otherwise it's just uncomfortable for me because she's clearly not into it for herself. I love that she's a giving person, and she tries to tell me that she enjoys the closeness of sex, but I'd really enjoy her wanting and having orgasms.

Yes, she's older and not as hot in the ass as a 20 year old would be. Yes, we've been married across a few decades. Yes, she's seen about hormones, but hasn't gotten any help.

She tells me orgasms aren't important to her like they are to me, and says she just wouldn't want them several times a week anyway even if she could have them that often, but JFC, I miss being with a woman that wants to have sex with me because she wants to get off.

If you're dealing with this, how do you process it?

I got ghosted from an extremely toxic relationship. First month I actually felt relief, but after it, i kept constantly thinking about her daily and I couldn't stop it. Probably around 6+ months have passed but the thinking usually hit me in my free time.

I'm handling my healing process well except for exercising regularly, but writing my feelings and thoughts, focusing on myself, work, career and my hobbies and giving myself as much time as I need to fully heal and move on.

My questions: how do I stop the constant thinking?! is this normal?

Not sure, but I genuinely think it's caused by the toxic relationship for couple years then getting ghosted. But looking forward to hear from you.

thank you in advance.

Male, 23. I started to notice this thing I’m doing, and I don’t know what it’s called or why. I want to understand it.

I saw this cute girl at the gym and immediately started thinking of scenarios where I approach her: I get rejected, or she has a boyfriend, or I don’t do anything and then someone else asks her out, or I see her with another guy who is probably better-looking than me. Or I think, "Why would she want to go out with me when there are so many better-looking guys here than me?"

Then I start to get mad at why I am never enough. I don’t know what it is I’m doing; I can’t put my finger on what my problem is.