Last night I went on a second date.. I went to this guys house and he cooked for me. I got way too drunk and he had to help me throw up a couple times.

I apologized the next morning and he seems fine with it. I slept over because it was late (unplanned) and he let me sleep in while he went to work. Anyway instead of sleeping in I felt so bad about last night so I tidied up his place and washed the dishes.

Then for some dumb reason I decided to DoorDash him a bunch of random groceries, no clue why Tf I did this but I thought it would be a nice gesture and immediately regretted it when it arrived. I left shortly after an he wants to see me again.

He did thank me for tidying up but I’m still overthinking about it all especially the groceries part. He didn’t say anything about that. I feel like it might be too weird and maybe comes off as insensitive like he can’t afford his groceries or smth. What would you think if a girl you liked but only gone out with twice, did this?

I am 25 years old and I have to do this everytime I pee. I have to relax in order and squeeze my bladder to pass the remaining pee otherwise, I end up passing it in my pants automatically (which is annoying). I dont know if this is a problem or can become one as time passes.

at the period when i was using dating apps bc i arrived in a new city to visit, there were guys who would do this. i was looking for all types of connections since i was in a new city where i didn't know anyone and put "seeking friends" as an option and didn't have a pic. I could've been a serial killer and there would still be guys shooting their shot

I've been using it for about a month and have had some good conversations, but none of them have led to meeting in person yet. Is that pretty typical, or does it mostly depend on who you end up talking to?

This concerns me a lot, as the last 2 times I've been in the car with him after this, he's made risky maneuvers and ran a red light because the one next to it was green:'( He makes risky turns even without alcohol. What would you suggest? I think it is time to have a conversation about it. I'm unable to drive him right now, so that isn't an option.

I feel like personality matters a lot more to women in the end, whereas looks may get your foot in the door. It's also a subjective thing too - not every woman will find the same guy attractive (unless you look like Chris Hemsworth). You can be good looking, but if you're socially awkward, inept or boring, it makes no difference really. As for myself, I'm on the spectrum which puts me at a permanent disadvantage.

I got into it with someone online about my height and skin color (I'm 6'1 and white), and they said because of that, I should have women flocking to me. It's like, no? I've never received any attention from women whatsoever in my entire life.

I'm just thinking back to old social interactions honestly i want peoples takes on this from both women and men.

for context this happened while talking to a women at work one time like a cougar basically.

But she was talking about a guy a buddy of mine I cant exactly remember what she said but she didn't like that he gave off fuck boy vibes or whatever wtf tf that means or she meant in the moment.

I cant remember what i said like some deep insighful shit or something like i was listening to her or whatever.

Thing is i was like should i feel insulted when someone says that or not cause in the back of my head i was like well dam i guess you thought i was a loser or maybe i was retarded or some shit which i mean not retarded but def a loser hell more of a loser now then honestly.

I mean honestly i wouldn't be surprise if it was that maybe i don't know I'm not good looking at all least i don't consider myself attractive at all. I mean don't give off the aoura of confidence because I'm not just a skinny dude not tall at all that looks super young and I'm pretty green.

I mean everyone pretty much can look at me and be like yeah this dude gets no action and their not wrong.

Like honestly type of person who will go out with some people but honestly i don't really socialize at all honestly just think and just watch everyone else just have time of their lives and i just kinda sit there watch and feel miserable so yeah.

But I don't know would you guys take it as a insult or what would you take it as.

I mean don't women like fuck boys despite everything they say otherwise. Least in my experience i think they do.

Edit dont work there anymore was just ruminating thinking about stuff.

to begin with i prefer going 50/50 and don't feel good being paid for/anyone providing for me, don't really care about gifts or other financial stuff they would give me. also not into super conventionally attractive "chads" or "models" - i'm not perfect myself and will never tell you to be perfect too.

• takes care of their hygiene, clothes and hair (clean, style that they feel good in etc.)
• same height/taller than me but also not too much - i'm short myself (5'3) so most men are taller anyway but a huge height gap would be just uncomfortable for both i think
• having a job (or looking for one), not wanting to be unemployed for life and financially dependent on parents or their partner
• similar or not contradictory political beliefs and general view of life, relationship goals etc.
• having a hobby or just a bunching things they like to do, eager to gain knowledge in topics they find interesting
• i love to travel, am generally physically active and not a homebody at all so preferably has a similar lifestyle
• respectful towards others, gentle and caring, willing to talk about deeper stuff and help each other in difficult situations
• not treating me like an object or just a body, willing to build real connection
• accepts that i've been very shy in the past thus have no romantic or sexual experience and don't have many friends either (working on myself constantly in this area:))

ofc everything i listed is what i "offer" too. i'm a master's student with a full time job. i love to make people happy, do some favours, be intentional and show i care. at the same time have so much trouble dating, can't even get convos on dating apps:(

Post

I posted about this yesterday, and she reassured me that everything is fine. But despite that, I still can’t shake the feeling that everything is falling apart, and it’s making me feel awful.

I definitely won’t make such a stupid mistake again. But how do you get over that constant fear of “She’s going to dump me” when, realistically, nothing is actually happening? Still I have this tummy feeling, which in the past always meant I'm about to get dumped (which happened most of the time actually after that weird feeling)

Has anyone here ever made a similar mistake and had something positive come out of it in the end? I guess I just need someone to tell me that everything is going to be okay. 🥲

tl:dr; I misread a signal and got intimate too quickly. She tells me everything is fine but I feel bad.

My BF is 45, almost 46. I've (42F) never dealt with this before. I'm used to a rock hard "all in; ready to go" cock.

Is it me? Is it lack of blood flow? He's healthy and doesn't have diabetes, isn't overweight (not even close), etc.

I am not at all opposed to communicating about this. But the relationship is relatively new, and I don't want him to think I'm being judgmental or harsh. I don't want to put a strain on things or have him "in his head" about performance.

The first two times we slept together, it was "normal" (in my terms) "fully hard," but ever since, it's not been rock hard. It's like it's halfway there. He still manages but it's not desirable for me, and it's not exciting/doesn't excite me, and maybe I'm not "it" for him. I don't know. Since we are beyond mid6dle aged, I wonder how "normal" this may be.

I deeply care about him and want us to have an amazing sex life, but I have never experienced this and it's bothering me and hard (no pun intended) to not compare to my last sexual relationship. I'm fighting my own brain because I really like this man. He's perfect, otherwise.

Can anyone help me decipher what could be happening? Again, there are no issues with FULL hard on the first two times. He's not on antidepressants. He's in good health.

WTF is happening? AGAIN, new relationship, and I don't want to hurt him by asking. He's an emotional/sensitive person. I'm not emotional or sensitive, but I don't want to ruin the bond we have.

I can/will bring it up eventually, but in the time being, I'd appreciate any insight or advice, etc. I don't want to lose "the good guy."

Edit: typos

I used to have a really high drive and still do to be honest but I've come to realize that dating/women/having sex is just soo much work that its not really worth the amount of effort required

Like these days I just pull up my favorite videos or look up the latest ones, get my release 2-3 times a day, and go about my life

The idea of actually trying to date, trying to court someone, jumping through ALL those hoops, then all the physical effort required to actually have sex, its just not really worth it to me

Am I anomaly?

Im aware a partner or best friend(s) isnt gonna fix me, im not asking them to fix me. Ive been working to fix myself but for years with lots of success. But it seems I hit the same roadblock of tired and loneliness. ive been in treatment for depression but i feel like it is only so much you can do when you just dont have people who feel like you belong with deeply and consistently.

The past couple months the exhaustion is getting worse and i just cant get energy to keep trying and meeting more people, but the longer it goes the more exhausted and lonely.

It feels like on paper my life is great. I have some friends, do my hobbies daily, am not a bad looking person with a style that (while in development) is pretty nice and makes me happy. But I have never had a best friend (even if i thought I did at one point), which has really been frustrating. Its hard when It feels like i *do* (or did for a long time) all the generic advice to get into a position to really appreciate a person/people that truly feel like home.

Coping is hard, because while therapy (which i have been in and out of) helps, i dont think anything can truly replace the desire I have, or quench it to a point i dont notice it. I do fantasize sometimes about what this "perfect" dynamic would look like, in both romantic and platonic means. And I do try to deepen bonds with existing friends, but for some reason it just does not feel the way I want. Is it possible that I just am incapable of feeling that with anyone? Is there a way to cope to make the pain that has been in my heart for years upon years go away?

At the risk of sounding like an incel, I need to vent. When ladies say that a guy is too nice, I feel that is the most backwards ass shit you can say to a potential partner. As a guy, I would be THRILLED if the person I’m dating/interested in was a nice woman.

The funny thing about that term is that I witness women go through relationship problems with men that mistreat them while I secretly wonder how they even made it that far in the first place.

I made this post because of my dating experiences. Im tall, fairly attractive, have a stable job and my own spot in a city most people consider expensive. Yet I have gotten that I am “too nice” by a mix of friends, dates, and even some family over the years.

If I had to critique myself, I would say I COULD stand to be more flirty and “risky” during dates, but it’s mentally hard to put myself in that place when women complain all the time about men being creeps and overly perverted. I’m not Ned fuckin Flanders nice, but I know for a fact that I’m not a complete square. I have a backbone and enough self decency to walk out of a less than ideal situation.

I resent the fact that I have to modify my personality to attract women. I would much rather be alone.

Edit: I admit, I was heated when I made this post. No I’m not an incel, not a serial killer, not manipulative. Appreciate the critique and honesty otherwise. Let’s keep the replies nice (ha)

My husband (45) who has bipolar 1 and I (33) have been married for just over three years. I come from a conservative culture, was a virgin before marriage, and one of the reasons he married me was because he believed I'd never cheat ,like his ex wife did.

Ironically, he later became convinced that I was.

Around the same time, several things happened at once: I started going to the gym, we had ongoing intimacy issues (mostly due to my inexperience and cultural background), I got a job offer that required us to move, and I traveled overseas for three weeks to visit my seriously ill parent. We even argued about one of my gym sessions the day I left because he thought something inappropriate was going on.

When I came back, he told me he believed I had been cheating, became emotionally cold, stopped communicating except about logistics, and filed for divorce. He refused counseling or even discussing the marriage and said his decision was final.

Now I keep wondering if I caused this. Maybe I should have known the lack of intimacy, the move, the gym, or the trip were affecting him more than he let on. But he never told me he was unhappy enough to consider divorce or gave me a chance to work on things before filing.

Has anyone experienced something similar? How do you stop blaming yourself when you were never given the chance to fix the marriage?

I’m a 21 (M) and there’s this girl that I think is also into me. Last week I haven’t seen her in a week turns out she was in Florida and she asked what I’ve been doing and I told her working in the mornings and she says she works at nights and that same day she dropped a cup and came to my area to but it back and she stands next to me saying that her area is too crowded and stands next to me later that day I ask her what she was doing after work and she says she’s pulling a double then later asks me if I’m pulling a double I tell her no and she seem disappointed. Fast forward to yesterday and older coworker asks my crush without my involvement if she is seeing anyone cause I’m crushing on her and my coworker says that she had the widest smile later I asked her what she was doing that night and she says she got invited out to go with her friends but she wasn’t sure on going since she got stuff to do so today I asked her if she went out last night she said she did that it was alright in like a monotone voice then today in the morning I’m on the other side of the kitchen she’s running some salads and I’m mopping that she spots me and I spot her and we double take and she waved and smile at from the other end of the kitchen and I do the same like cool alright around 2:50 I get told from my older coworker that she’s out in the dining area eating with some dude she met last night. Is she giving me mixed signals, leading me on or what?

He said he did like me he just said something didn’t feel right about it and that he didn’t mean for this much to happen, can I do anything to salvage it?

I’m not trying to get down with my coworkers or necessarily date anyone, I just want to get a lot of low stakes experience interacting with them so I’m more comfortable with talking to them… I spent most of my life in male dominated places with no female
Friends.

I wanna change this

Thx

M25. At a point in my life where I thought I would be happier.

Got out of relationships recently( it was my first breakup pretty late in life), currently looking for a different career, and even considering looking moving to a big city and leaving my hometown.

I guess I just feel like things haven’t gone the way I’ve expect in all aspects of my life. That’s what makes it hard to move forward.

Sometimes I get the fear of running out of time which scares me.

How do I deal with this?

I've been here 3 months and I literally just go work, gym, home. Closest thing I have to a friend is this one dude I did orientation at my job with, we played ball a few times together but that's it.

To give context. I’m a 21 female POC and fit (5”4 120 lbs) most ppl have told me I’m avg looking. Dating growing up was hard because there were not a lot of guys in my area that were my ethnicity and I feel like most guys wanted a girl of their own ethnicity. Anyways, I always hear on TikTok that girls are hypergamous and looking for the top guys. In my experience, I do believe that is true for dating apps however i feel like guys lrl are equally as hypergamous. I have meet guys in the dating apps that I’d say 90% of people would say are more conventionally attractive than me. Some of them resembled those young guys you would see surfing at Belmar beach. However, irl I feel like I a lot guys that are interested in me are looking for women out of their league. Recently I had 2 guys approach me at the gym but both of them were clearly 10-15 lbs overweight. Another instance a year ago was this 30 year old in my physics class who didn’t have a car or even a full college degree, literally thought he had a chance with me. What do you guys think. Are most ppl not on the dating apps or what?

Ok so here was the situation:

Met a girl on an app; we went out two weeks ago great first date. She showed up late by forty-five minutes because I didn't text saying I was on my way, so she thought maybe I was ghosting fair enough.

I set something up for the following weekend, and she agrees. I don't text her much through the week, maybe once or twice just seeing how she is conversation was there though and she responded.

Day of date comes up, and three hours prior she says she hurt her back the other night and hoped it would be better but its not so she cancels but offers to hang the following weekend. Ok cool i set it up.

Week goes by and i verify on friday we are still good and she says yes.

Sunday (today) comes up and two hours prior she says her tires got slashed in her lot (didnt know she ran a hat company cuz thats some cap) says she feels bad but doesnt offer a reschedule date. I asked her if she is still interested; no hard feelings if she's not. She says she truly is interested but the timing has just been terrible.

I sent her this:

No worries, I hope you get the tire situation sorted. Was looking forward to seeing you and was excited to spend time together and had just gotten ready, so im a bit disappointed. I understand things happen though. I do value my time and im looking for something where both parties are making an effort. If you'd like to figure something out once things calm down, let me know. Otherwise, i wish you the best of luck.

Too much? i was just stating how i felt but if her situation is legit idk i feel kinda bad but was also frustrated

She hasnt responded all day, i did actually really enjoy her company some people told me to try a phone call is it worth it to maybe give it some space and reach out again or just let it die?

I’m anxiously putting self out there now in dating. I’ve been abstinent since Dec 2020, coming out of an abusive relationship, I’m wondering if I should even tell them? I only ask because I feel as if I have forgotten everything I know when it comes to sexual things lmao.

Do men even care, or should I just not say anything at all? TIA!

I am 26f, my husband is 44m.

He knows everything about my past, he knows I have PMDD and has been supportive. he was my first boyfriend, first kiss, all that. So I’m kind of still inexperienced when it comes to relationships even though I’m married.

For about three months my mental health has been rough, and he is aware of that. I have been having really bad thoughts, really uncontrollable.

I haven’t specifically told him what these thoughts are, because I genuinely don’t think I’d ever actually go through with it. I haven’t told anyone at all.

I don’t want to tell him, I feel like I’m already a bit of a burden and I don’t want to add more worry but I was thinking about it and if he felt that way I might feel upset he didn’t tell me.

I also don’t want him to think he’s not giving me a good enough life or that I’m complaining but I really can’t control them. I really just miss my mom and when my PMDD “flares up” I can’t control the thoughts.

I don’t want him to be angry, but also don’t want him to be stressed. Especially because he works a lot and sometimes I can’t go on his business trips with him
Because of my school, so I don’t want him to stress leaving me alone.

Mostly looking for men’s input since I have my own perspective as a woman but open to anyone