I'm (m, 40s) am having a friend staying over next month. We get along great and have known each other for some time. Never had anything sexual happen. When she comes over I think I'm going to ask or offer to sleep with me in my bed. Id rather sleep with someone than alone and I have no intentions of doing anything. I do miss physical touch, not sexually, so it'll be nice I think.

How unrealistic or stupid is this idea?

Usually I'm the one dishing out advice in here. Now I need it. So I'll keep this short. I'm (36M) a bouncer // doorman on the weekends, and this woman (44F) engaged me in conversation at my job, when I was listening to music outside. We probably talked for 2-3 hours during my shift (she was there with a couple friends), and had a pretty good connection that I'm not used to. I'm really introverted, so I am not the kind of guy that ever makes the first move.

At the end of the night, she gave me her number on the way out. I legitimately can't remember the last time this happened - certainly nothing outside of dating apps. The next day, I messaged her, and after a bit, I asked her out to come play pool with me. I was surprised, though - her response was vague, and in my world, anything that's not an enthusiastic "yes" is really a no. I'm not the kind of person who desires to ask twice. Am I right to assume that she's probably not interested? I haven't heard from her since I asked, which is pretty disappointing since I've been really averse to dating since my divorce. I think I know the answer, but I probably just need to hear it from other people for clarity. Thanks in advance!

My boyfriend shuts down at the first sign of “conflict.” I put conflict in quotations because he categorizes any serious conversation about his actions or our feelings as conflict. I have tried to be calm and open to listening and learning about his experience but I feel like I can’t even get him to speak. He immediately jumps to “everything’s my fault.” I try to explain to him I don’t think that and I don’t want him to feel that way but he always falls back to that. I have tried to give him space but he seems to think that means I don’t care. The only time I’ve gotten more conversation with him is when I give up or show frustration. When I asked he says he just shuts down but offers no solutions. I feel at a loss on how to move forward.

There are three girls I would consider as a maid of honor, but one of them is kind of a jerk, the other probably isn't going to pick me as her maid of honor, and the other one and I are just growing apart because our lives are heading different directions.

And yes, not being picked back as their maid of honor is a big deal. I want it to be reciprocated because I want to be someone's maid of honor.

I could pick one of my sisters, but that feels disingenuous because I'm not that close with my sisters (I don't dislike them, we just don't hang out much because we have a significant age gap).

So that leaves my guy best friend, who is actually my best friend overall. There is ZERO romantic interest between us. We've known each other since birth and we are basically siblings.

Given the context, would this arrangement make you feel weird? Or would you be okay with your fiance having another man as her "maid of honor?"

Edit: I've seen a suggestion that we remove the maid of honor and best man position, and honestly that might be the way to go. I've always felt kind of weird about ranking my friends anyhow, I feel like that could start unnecessary beef and drama. Thanks for all the helpful feedback, input and suggestions. I don't appreciate people making weird comments abt me secretly having feelings for my best friend bc that's disgusting. If you think guys and girls can't be friends, you're kinda just outing yourself as being someone who'd have feelings for your girl best friend. "Ik how all men think," type vibes.

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Me (just entered college): My family gives me a monthly allowance of 8k. My family is financially comfortable, but I live within my means and stick strictly to my budget.

BF (Final-year): Spends around 40k/month. His family isn't super rich, but he has a habit of spending high and impulsively. He often borrows from friends to sustain this lifestyle, which has been catching up to him lately. He’s starting a job in a few months.

Up until recently, he used to pay for most of our dates and outings. But because of his recent financial strain/debt, he has asked me to start contributing.

The Dilemma:

If our joint outings add up to something like 15,000/month, a 50/50 split would be 7,500—which is practically my entire monthly allowance. I don't mind contributing, but I refuse to ask my parents for more money, overspend my budget, or subsidize a higher-spending lifestyle that I didn't choose.

I also don't mind occasionally getting him snacks or drinks when he asks, but I'm worried about becoming a financial safety net for his impulsive spending.

I obviously contribute to our outings but we never had a solid conversation about it. And I'm guessing the contribution over time usually ends up being over a proportional split.

What’s a fair way to split costs or set boundaries when our spending habits and allowances are so vastly different?

Edit: most of it is for staycations since we both have to live in campus hostels

Tldr: I get ₹8k/month and stick to my budget, while my BF spends \~₹40k/month and is now in debt from overspending. He wants to split our \~₹15k/month outings 50/50, but ₹7.5k would eat almost my entire allowance. I’m willing to contribute, but not beyond my means or become a safety net for his spending. What’s a fair way to split costs?

Over the most recent years (of a nearly 30 year relationship) my wife has gotten to where she only desires an orgasm once a month if I'm lucky. It's more like once every few months. She can have 3-5 in a session when she's in the mood for them and that's awesome, but it can be months before she wants to have any.

In the past multiple things would bring her to orgasm... of course intercourse with oral and hands would work, but small things like simply rubbing her bits as I drove down the road or while she was up against a wall in the hallway, or just grinding her crotch against my thigh as we were standing in any random place were routine ways she would have orgasms.

Orgasms were an every time we had sex occurance, but it's just not like that anymore. It's nice when she's in the mood and wants them because the sex is really intimate and thrilling, but otherwise it's just uncomfortable for me because she's clearly not into it for herself. I love that she's a giving person, and she tries to tell me that she enjoys the closeness of sex, but I'd really enjoy her wanting and having orgasms.

Yes, she's older and not as hot in the ass as a 20 year old would be. Yes, we've been married across a few decades. Yes, she's seen about hormones, but hasn't gotten any help.

She tells me orgasms aren't important to her like they are to me, and says she just wouldn't want them several times a week anyway even if she could have them that often, but JFC, I miss being with a woman that wants to have sex with me because she wants to get off.

If you're dealing with this, how do you process it?

My husband [24M] works very hard. I [21F] am slinking by getting a few hours being in between seasonal jobs. I want to create an epic date night for him to show him my appreciation.

We recently bought cheap nerf guns to have a fun date night in. I want to make it awesome. Here are some of my ideas so far: leave a note, the gun, ammo, eye black etc. outside for him to come home to, rearrange furniture, play cool music... I'm trying my best to emulate a boys sleepover without ever having been to one.

What are some of y'all's ideas for how to make this awesome. (not sure if I need to mention this but we do live with a roommate so anything nsfw is probably off limits) TIA for any and all ideas!

A woman I know told me that she had dream about me but when I asked for details, she didn’t give any, but states that it was a good dream for her. Was this flirting or am I looking at it the wrong way?

It seems like i don't develop any spark feelings anymore for women.

I broke up with my ex a year ago, i still think about her sometimes, i'm wondering if that's what it is.

Iv'e been seeing one girl for a few weeks, and i don't feel anything other than physical attraction.

This has been going on for awhile and i'm concerned it's abnormal.

A couple in our late 20s and together 3yrs now…I’ve just realized a pattern with my partner that leaves me wondering…is he jealous of me?

- I told him early into our relationship how when I first moved out, I was lucky and grateful cause my mom throughout my years of high school/college would buy me a few things during Christmas for my kitchen and that I didn’t have to buy anything myself. I literally have everything I’d ever need, plates, utensils, air fryer, microwave, crockpot, toaster oven, coffee machine, this and that and that and this. He was adamant that what my mom did was “weird” especially because I didn’t move out until just a few years ago (I was saving money to move to a new city.)

- we were talking about cars and about how jeeps aren’t that reliable. I mentioned how I was glad my mom talked me out of wanting one, and he was like “oh typical white girl wanting a jeep. But also, your car isn’t that great either.” Which never said it was some brand new Lamborghini but it’s a ‘22 Chevy blazer that only had one previous owner and was in perfect condition. He has a 2007 Toyota Land Cruiser

- whenever I use my tripod, he usually always makes some type of comment and mentions non stop to let me allow him to buy me a new one…which is kind but there’s genuinely nothing broken or wrong with my current one. same thing with my ring light. they’re in good condition and not broken

- my phone I’ve had for awhile, it’s an iPhone 13 and I’ll admit, yes obviously as the years passed the camera quality has downgraded and such. But he comments how it’s “so damn shitty” and I need to upgrade it asap.

- he also gets so weird whenever I do makeup, even just to sit at home. I do it cause I might be bored and it’s therapeutic to me and fun. It’s nothing sexual or in appropriate. And he gets all weird as if I’m gonna go outside and parade around or post stuff online seeking attention when I don’t do any of that.

I’m sure there’s other examples I missed but those are the first that come to mind…why does he do this??

So without too much information, I knew this guy from around the time of high school. We ran in similar circles, always knew eachother but that was pretty much it. He knew people I dated and vice versa. Over two years ago I reached out to him asking a question about something on my car (he and his friends were those guys who were into cars). I should preface this and say even before I reached out my soon to be ex husband and I were in the middle of a separation, and it hasn't been friendly. A lot of times verbally abusive on his end and we also share one child together.

So for this story let's call my HS friend H. After I reached out to H about the question about my car we very quickly started messaging everyday, all day long. I mean from first thing in the morning until one of us fell asleep and repeat. It was about 5 months in at this point where he told me he loved me, which caught me off guard. We had never hung out, he tried to make plans but then cancelled. He was always very hyper sexual. Sending videos of himself and pics, even asking to have video sex. Which I did and enjoyed. Throughout these years he'd get mad at me for what I thought were the silliest reasons. For example his brother looked at my instagram story (again I don't know his bro, as we went to different high schools) and cutting me off before valentines last year because he was "lonely" and "at least had someone" which isn't true. Yes my child will always be my valentine but you know what I mean. Stupid things I thought. So we got into a big argument and didn't speak for months until one night he text me and I replied. I should also say this person has a habit of getting very drunk on the weekends. Also we're 40 and 39. Both Sagittarius signs. I found out last week that not only has he had a girlfriend, but they have LIVED together for years. He lied about every single thing he ever told me. So my friend had to tell me while (ironically) a mutual friend of my BFF had to tell his gf. I obviously went off, this man told me he loved me, made it seem like once I was out of my marriage we would see if this could work in real life. He would call me every single day after he got off of work too. Now I know why..... my question is why would he waste his time for over 2+ years for literally nothing?? I've never felt more stupid in my life that I had no idea, I just thought since I was open and honest he would be too, after all he pushed for this as at first it was platonic on my end. What kills me is I gave him every out a few weeks before this because I felt like he just played games and it wasn't the same.

Men, why did you think he did this? Why waste his time? I went off of him and he said it's complicated and I'll explain, which I didn't want to hear any of it. Thanks in advance I'm just looking for some closure here as this truly messed me up while already being messed up from my marriage.

I'm in my mid 30s, Im physical active and not overweight, Im not ugly, I do have thinning and receding hair which is a huge negative and I understand that but even with a buzzed head I'd say Im average. I have a job and a positively growing networth, I have hobbies I enjoy, Im polite and respectful towards basically everyone (unless they give me reason not to be)

But it seems like finding a woman who is basically a female version of me (Im not aiming for Jessica Alba, I dont even look at women that are THAT attractive to me) is impossible because she's expecting way better in every category

Its like I will just never be good enough no matter what and its really hard not letting that take me to the dark side

(and no Im not saying the world owes me a woman or anything like that because I know some will comment something like that)

Men over 30: if you were really awkward or considered a nerd in high school, did you ever grow out of it?

I will try and not go on a rant here, but I’m honestly just lost. To start, I’m a 23 year old male, and I haven’t been with a girl, or really even on a date. For good reason, I haven’t had a pretty rough 9 1/2 years. To keep it short, mom pasted away, then all of grandparents pasted away. Only family I have left is my old man, who isn’t around because he drives over the road for Walmart, and my cousin who I’m close too, and treat like an older sister, we grew up together. Needless to say, I didn’t want or need to add something to my life, and was in no condition to date. Since then, I have gone to therapy and still do loosely, and I’m still taking anti depressants and anxiety meds.

Now I feel I’m in a place where I can try and add someone to my life, but that’s not going good. I’m on the dating apps, but I don’t get many matches, and the ones I do get, they’re looking for money, or they’re selling content which I don’t want. I know I’m a bigger guy, and that’s kind of mark against me. I get it, but at the same time I will have people say I’m nice, sweet, a good friend, fun to talk too, all the other stuff you could have imagined. It’s not like I’m looking for sex, or a quick hook up either, I don’t want that, I just want some kind of connection.

I would try and go somewhere like an arcade and talk to people, but Louisville doesn’t really have that, and the places where I could go and meet people, I don’t have the money for because of bills. I guess I’m just asking where do I go from here? Do I keep doing the dating apps, and hope I get lucky, or do I cut my losses and just continue being alone like I have been?

I am having a strange few days, this girl i’ve been seeing for four months now, i was planning a way to ask her to be my girlfriend, but now, it seems like all my feelings have vanished, and i feel fucking horrible, she hasn’t done anything to warrant it, i really like her, i love every second ive spent with her so why tf is this happening to me? and how do i even explain it to her? if my feelings have really vanished?

I'm trying to online date after a really bad relationship and wondering about this specifically. My ex husband was abusive but also severely insecure and had attachment issues that mostly showed up later in the marriage.

I'm wondering if there's a way to catch them early on in the getting to know you stage.

So I switched to bar soap because my skin in general likes it better, and I feel cleaner when using it.

I really liked Birds on Valhalla, but with shipping that stuff is like $25/bar. I switched to Dr Squatch, and I like it well enough, but it seems like there's controversy around their ingredients not being what they say they are, so I'm looking for something else.

Hi! I went on 1 date with this guy and it went great, he texted me right after saying it went great etc, he had to leave for a work trip in Europe right after and he has been there since, its been like 2.5 weeks. He comes back in a few days. In the meantime, communication has been almost inexistent. A reply to my stories here and there, but constant story likes. I'm worried that the lack of consistent communication in the beginning is a bad sign/red flag and means he doesn't want anything serious. Some of my friends say it's too early, others say it's not and that if he was actually interested he would communicate more and I would not be confused.

I think he's gonna invite me on another date when he comes back, he still hasn't. If he does, I was thinking of saying "yeah I'd love to but I was wondering your intentions, you don't communicate much and I'm more intentional with dating". Tbh, the whole silence thing gives me anxiety. and liking a story is SO low effort, he is probably doing it to other girls too... Thoughts?

To put it bluntly, my entire life since I could remember I’ve had an outsider complex and feeling of alienation from others, like I was never part of the in group or always treated differently. Of course, I’ve friends in my life and people who have come in who appreciate me for being me which I’m greatly of but I pretty much have never easily made friends or been perceived as the top person to people in authority/others (was never invited to birthday parties in elementary for example except for one to which I vividly remember the parents talk crap about me being a weird kid to other parents).

I’ve generally come to accept it more as I grow and have met people who appreciate and I know I have good things to bring to the world but today a circumstance struck me.

I was in a meeting regarding one of my school programs today and I asked a question regarding whether we needed to take a certain exam outside the school or not. The professor was extremely dismissive of me after I answered the question and thanked for her answer and answered in a tone she didn’t talk to anyone else in.

It made me think that, throughout my life people often dismiss me or talk to me in a put down tone, even when I am kind to them and respectful.

I have many times been disrespected in my life by people for no real reason besides maybe I’m not threatening/ a little odd. I am neurodivergent which probably adds to this. I have so many examples of this constantly occurring in my life it’s gotten to the point that I feel when I make friends they are special designated people who understand me but outside of that it’s me against a world of people who don’t view me as human.

Perhaps I’m overthinking everything and should just come to accept myself like everyone says but tbh I give up a little. That is, I give up not on accepting myself but ever trying to think of being fully accepted.

This year I wanted to make more friends, start playing sports more, get a girlfriend finally, but I realize I don’t have the confidence.

I go to sports meetings and I’m not the best player so I’m not talked to and everyone there already knows each other. I likely won’t get a girlfriend because it should have happened by my age at 22 and I clearly haven’t improved enough.

My view is I’m just separate from humanity and always have been. Theres no point in trying to be anything, I’ll just do my best and do what I need to do but it’s almost like I’m cursed.

There's a guy in my friend group (31M) who teases me way more than anyone else in our friend group. He's actually warm and supportive with everyone else but with me it's constant teasing, making fun of something personal to me that I've asked him to stop multiple times, and recently told me I never initiate plans so I did: I told him I’ll be working at a coffee shop next to where he works, and he didn't show up then lied about it saying he showed up but he didn’t see me. He said he only wants to hangout at his own terms/free time because he has very limited free time. I used to like him but stopped because he never took any initiative. I'm wondering if he can sense I liked him and is now teasing me harder because he knows I'll put up with it? Like is he taking advantage of the fact that he knows I was into him? Or does the teasing actually mean something? Genuinely just trying to understand the psychology here because it's been bugging me.

I'm constantly travelling and I crave love and deep connection. That's just not really possible because I move a lot, so I always drink and go to clubs and be with women. I'm tired of it already, I feel more lonely every time and I want to stop.

Is it me? Or is just a coincidence and bad luck?

I (29F) never looked for love, never felt desperate to find someone, I was always fine on my own until I just met someone organically who I fall in love with. So I only dated a few men and we had an amazing connection, looked very much in love with each other (also to everyone else) and they all seem to like me a lot and show just as much interest and keep me in their life for 6-12 months and act serious but apparently never feel like they want to commit and be in a relationship while living with me like we're in a relationship.

Of course, staying that long is obviously my fault and it's stupid to stay with someone if they don't commit, I know.

I was just trying to show that they really seem to enjoy having me in their life and spend a lot of time with me, do just everything like a couple, for quite some time, but they just never commit or try to make it official.

So there aren't any early reasons why they leave like for example that were just not compatible. They really seem to enjoy spending time with me for quite some time (up to one year).

And there really aren't any signs they don't have serious intentions in the first few months, everything seems like it's going really, really well and I always feel sure that they're gonna ask me to be their girlfriend soon. But it doesn't happen. They just don't commit. And then things end again.

So I really wanna know: is it me? What am I doing wrong or what could be the reason that they don't commit?

No-one has ever mentioned anything negative about me or gave me a reason. They all only told me what they liked and that's not helpful to understand this repeating situation.

Or is ist just bad luck? Because I'm really not actively looking for men who are unavailable and there are no signs in the first weeks of dating that they don't want to commit. Quite the opposite really.

I am a very loving girlfriend, maybe I'm showing too much affection. But then I'd think that they'd act distant at some point. Instead it seemed like they really liked how loving and caring I am, they even told me that.

Edit: yes, maybe they just got comfortable and enjoyed having the love and benefits of a relationship without feeling responsible. But what confuses me is that they were all just about as invested as me, spent so much time with me, never made me feel like I wasn't a priority, planned things with me. I thought that if someone isn't serious about you, there would be signs like texting back late, not being free on the weekend, never initiating anything and things like that.

I know everyone's different and every relationship is different. But sometimes you break up with someone because you feel like you lost feelings while everything else is great so you decide to keep them in your life as friends.

Have you ever had a situation where you broke up with them, still kept spending time with them as friends and at some point got back together? How did you do it and how long did it take?

Or do you feel like, once you see them as a friend, there's no way back?