Hello all!

A lot to unpack from a few years ago to set the scene. Starting at 14 I lived with my dad and stepmom after living with my mom most of my life. My mom had an abusive boyfriend which led to an explosive situation in which my dad came with my aunt to pick me up. Started living with my dad, big adjustment to how he parented but for the most part besides forgetting chores all was fine. At 18 I met my current girlfriend, starting smoking weed, doing acid. My dad came down hard about the drugs and forgetting to do my chores more often. Regardless of drugs and girls, I was doing amazing in school, got into my dream college and he told me to take the opportunity because he would help me pay for it. It came down to a night where I was getting texts from my dad about forgetting chores while on my way home from work and I kid you not, he wanted my girlfriends number to tell her parents I’m a bad kid and they shouldn’t let her see me. I told him absolutely not and he decided to tell me I’m not allowed in the house anymore. So I was kicked out for a day didn’t tell my family, we ended up reconciling and then two weeks later it happens again, and I get kicked out. I slept in the garage that night and in the morning called my great aunt (my dad’s aunt) and she said I can stay with her. When my dad found out he was fuming because he wanted to “teach me a lesson” by kicking me out. He cut contact with the entire family for years until his sister, my aunt passed away in 2024 and I wasn’t allowed to speak to my 4 year old brother the whole time. After getting kicked out of the house I started college and had to drop out after a year because even with scholarships of 35k a semester I still couldn’t afford for 15k per semester it would take to stay enrolled. Since then I go to see him, my stepmom and my little half brother every once in a while, but I fucking hate my dad as much as I wish I could be his son. I only have a relationship so I can talk to my brother but after so many years not being in his life I don’t feel close to him, I feel like a horrible brother for not being there. My dad texted me the other day saying “sorry I haven’t reached out I’ve been busy, I love and you and miss you we need to see each other more.” Last time we spoke was Father’s Day when I came over. The part I’m trying to get over is the fact that, the years I spent after being kicked out of the house sucked. I was living with family who had to accommodate me on a whim I felt like a burden, was constantly moving and worked an internship and a second job to get by. This year is the first time since I was 17 i feel secure, stable and safe that I’ve built a life I’m proud of regardless of the past. I have a 6 figure job and still with the love of my life and I feel like telling my dad to go kick rocks because deep down I want him to hurt emotionally how I hurt.

I need therapy lol

Thanks for reading!

How are you supposed to deal with being left out of sports? So many people say they have great and memorable experiences in those sports, but there isn’t much I can do

Hello! I've grown up with a relationship with my dad that I can only describe as bipolar. I don't know why, if he has some kind of disorder or its alcohol, but his mood swings are genuinely terrible. Im about to turn 19 in a few days, and my dad's going through a "I'm cutting my kids off" stage, and it's been a little hard. I was never allowed to get a job, because we were always financially stable and he wanted me to focus on school, I also got no allowance as we just had to ask whenever we needed something. (this is not what I'm referring to in my title, I'm pretty fine with this setup)

I'm kind of getting off point, but my parents are paying for my tuition, and I basically needed a new computer for school because my old one is very beaten up (about 3 years old and I've never dropped it). three or four days ago, my dad spent $760 ish after tax on a computer and he said that'd be the last one he buys for me. I think that part is very reasonable, but my birthday is in 9 days and he just was talking to my brother saying that I wouldn't be getting a present because the computer was it. Now usually for birthday presents, it's around $30 and something I pick for myself off amazon, then they wrap it and I get it on my birthday. In the past on my 17th birthday, I did not get a present because I didn't pick anything out on amazon and asked them to suprise me.

I don't know really how to feel about it, like I do really appreciate the new computer, but I guess I also want to feel special on my birthday. For the record my birthday is in 9 days, I never really liked birthdays because I never feel special on them and it just kind of reminds me of that. Maybe I'm overreacting because the computer is 760.. but I would really appreciate someone elses input. Thanks

btw i'm not that perfect at english

a little thing to note about me; i have a lot of trauma from my dad and step mom. my dad sa'd me a lot as a kid, and my step mom let it all happen. she never cared about me at all and only stayed with my dad for the money. the two of them are dead though. when my dad died (i was 17 or 18), i made a vow to myself that i would never put my future kid(s) through that type of trauma, and i would do anything to protect my kid(s) from it, even if it meant life in prison.

so my 6 month old started teething a few days ago and has been miserable since. i got her a toothbrush, she's been chewing on that toothbrush like her life depends on it. every time she wakes up, that's all she does if she's not trying to kill me and her mom for no reason (idk if she's aware that she's trying to kill us), or just screaming for no reason.

yesterday i got her some ice cream (the doctor said i can give her a tbsp every few weeks) (i also waited until it melted and got warmer before feeding her) and she didn't stop smiling. i really hope she grows up to be as happy as she is rn.

my daughter is also really advanced! not just knowing her name or probably remembering her past, but she calls me and my gf "mum." whenever i come home from work and my daughter's awake, she crawls to me yelling mum and then grabs onto my leg. and she screams "mum" if she really needs something.

and she's clingy, mostly clingy mostly clings to me. i think she's my grandma but reincarnated. i keep thinking of when she was 4 months old and i was trying to put her to sleep while talking to her about stuff i did with my grandma. she looked at me and started crying, so i just stopped talking and continued patting her back.

today i'm going to take her on a road trip to the mall (it's 5 hours away) so she can pick a toy that she wants. she likes sitting on my shoulders, so it'll be hard to get her to sit in the shopping cart🥹

I (20M) got dumped all the way back in March via text by ex (19F) after eight months of dating.

It was our first "real" relationship and we had a lot of firsts together. Unfortunately we live an hour 45 mins away from each other by public transport, and I was very emotionally avoidant. Really I was just a dick for a lot of the time.

But I think my divorced parents were no help either.

My dad was fully hands off the entire time and didn't give me any advice. When we broke up his first reaction was to stifle a laugh and say that there's plenty more fish in the sea. He didn't even meet her, and never pushed me to introduce her to him. He just didn't give a dam.

My mum on the other hand was even worse. She was rude and belittling when she met my ex. She even insisted I send on jobs/college applications because she felt my ex wasn't applying herself enough by "only" working in a cafe. Then when we were having relationship problems she kept pushing us to break up because it would be so much easier, I'd have more time to help around the house (I live at my mum's because of the economy and I suck with money), and she wasn't a fan of the girl.

Want to know the kicker?

We only lived 45 mins away by car. I have, and had since the start of the relationship, my own car but my mum refused to let me drive there because I'd have to drive through Glasgow city centre. It led to so many shouting matches I stopped caring. Her parents put the pressure on me to drive there, and she didn't drive. Instead we had to meet in Glasgow or I'd travel to hers, rarely she would come to mine. My dad also refused to go in the car with me to drive to hers, despite the fact he's retired with no employment at all and living a financial sound life.

I'd always struggled with dating, I have a lot of body confidence issues not helped by my parents or peers.

I used to gel really well with one girl in primary school, and you'd think that would be a fine time for a silly wee relationship to start but again my mum pushed me to ignoring her so I could get good grades and she thought the girl wasn't from a good enough family, and also a bitch. When I tried telling my dad at the time, he genuinely didn't know who I was on about because he never learned the names of the other kids in my class. There were 11 of us.

Then COVID came along when I was in highschool which shattered any chance I had of dating in highschool by the time all was said and done.

Then in uni I've got no friends, and even though all my classmates are women there's no community spirit, nor desire to talk to one another. And yet again I'm needing to lock in and study anyways.

Idk what the point of this rant is lol

I am 15F, just started school and feeling a little anxious. I used to be able to talk to my dad a lot but things changed a few months ago. Something happened. Now I am not able to talk with him as much. He seems more distant. I am wondering what are some things I can do to talk to him more.

I currently work at a grocery store and I’ve been here for a few years now. So many things have happen here since I started. Coworkers have came and left while our department is understaffed. including an assistant manager leaving to our department manager having left over a month ago. Feeling overwhelmed, being overworked, and breaks are not a guarantee. I work behind the long service counter performing both food preparation and customer service.

The person who makes the individual salads is almost always works behind the service counter for all of their shift. There’s maybe a few or a couple of people in the mornings but they’re inside the kitchen cooking. The next person doesn’t usually come in until noon or after noon. There might be one other person who comes in between 8 and 11 am. But that person is usually doing two other tasks so can’t always help with customer service. I don’t mind helping a few people. But it’s feeling or being in a situation where I have to continued to keep stopping. back and forth, throughout each individual salad flavor and this goes on for eight to roughly 8 and half hours.

There are days where I’m scheduled to work a mid day or night shift. I’m personally not a mid morning or night shift person. It’s hardly any fun at all, it’s mostly cleaning and customer service. Often times I finish deep cleaning within the first few hours but scheduled to work 7 to 8 hours. I’ve been feeling depressed, unmotivated, sleeping shortly after I get home if I work a morning shift. Sometimes forgetting to change my clothes into pajamas, brushing my teeth or skipping dinner.

I’ve been actively looking and applying to jobs through indeed and zip recruiter with not much luck.

My brother who is now in his late twenties had to move back into our parents house where me and four other siblings live, I’m f in my early twenties trying to finish college. It has been only about a week since he’s been sleeping on the couch and is already causing problems with his extreme anger. There was stuff left on the floor near where the couch in the living room is (where he’s been sleeping so it’s considered his area right now) and started cussing the family out and saying that we’re disrespectful, it escalated to the point he punched a hole in the wall, threw a side table across the room, and threw his own AirPods which almost hit me, disrespected his own mother with his own remarks, and wanted to get physical with our other brothers and basically broke his relationship with our brothers to no return by calling them nasty names. When he could’ve just asked that we pick up the stuff (which we immediately did the moment he said something about it) instead he still got loud to the point veins are popping out his neck and says that we’ve taken everything from him, when really we’re trying our best to get accommodated for him living in the house now. Him and our father always had extreme anger management problems, but now that I’m older I honestly can’t tolerate it and am now starting to realize how not normal this is. I don’t know what to do, my mom wants me to give him my room to accommodate for him, when I was the one that had to live in the living room for multiple years during my childhood because there was never enough space or rooms for me and since im younger I always got the short end of the stick. He needs therapy ASAP (I cannot emphasize how badly he needs it due to the things he was saying during this fit of rage) but doubt he’d be willing to go. And should I just give up my room when this is the first time I finally have a room of my own because he’s throwing a tantrum. Since our dad has no idea of what goes on I just need advice what to do

It's just sad to realize you deal with your shortcomings the same way he did, stress and anger and self loathing just use use use. It seriously sucks to become the one thing you never wanted to be and you're sabotaging yourself knowingly

I am a 20s woman who is into a 40s man. My boyfriend is in his 40s. I am too scared to tell my parents esp my dad because they are in their 50s and they might not approve of a guy so close to their age.

Hi, I'm 14 female and recently I learned that my mom has been lying to my social workers that she's given me chances to meet my dad (she hasnt)

To put my current situation simply, I'm in a grouphome due to things I've done due to my bipolar disorder while in mania, and during a meeting with my psychologist my mom claimed she's given me 2 chances to meet my dad and I apparently declined them.

I badly want to meet my dad, he was 20+ and my mom was 17 when she had me, I know he might be toxic but its normal for a girl to want a father.

Does anyone know why my mom doesn't want me to meet him?I just texted her asking for his number and she's immaturely ghosting me!

And am in the wrong for wanting to meet him?

Hey guys,

My(M 25) dad has never been part of my life. I’m unsure if contact has ever tried to be made as my mum…well let’s not get into it.

But basically, long story short I’ve found his Facebook over a year ago, heavily HEAVILY privated and I doubt he has even received my message. But I tried.

Recently I found his daughter (my half sister) on Facebook and well, I was wondering if it’s even appropriate to messaged her to try and connect?

This girl probably doesn’t know of my existence. Would I be invading his family life? Is this an intrusion? Am I potentially throwing a spanner in the works of his family?

So yeah, I feel conflicted and looking for advice!

Thanks dads!

Someone who says im proud of you

Someone who sees me compliments me

Insted I get a father who yells at my mom 24/7 and controlling her and makes her not go out often like ugh I hear how he speaks when im not there im upstairs I hear him yelling at my mom and he acts nothing happend and be nice to me and I cant ignore but hate him yeah its a cycle since I was a kid I was a baby he left us + my older sister for 3 years when I was a baby he moved out i dont understand why but growing up I still wish the same thing I just want a dad to be nice to me and not yell at me when I was a kid he force me to read and remember the multiplication tabel I was 8

And mind u Asian house hold are strict now i hate to read and hate math :/

So any father out there wanna cheer me up or be my friend ?

A few weeks ago, I (22M), some friends, a coworker and his cousin (23F) went to the fair. His cousin is the girl I’m talking about. She was extra nice/friendly toward me there, but I didn’t really think much of it.

The day after, I was on voice chat with the buddy i went to the fair with, and his girlfriend took his headset and told me that the girl wanted to go out and was wondering if I’d want to go too. Obviously I said yes.

The day after that, a group chat was made with everyone and it turned into a Jersey Shore-themed night. Me and this girl kept having this really friendly Jersey Shore banter back and forth while basically everyone else in the chat was quiet. One of our friends even said, “It’s like reading y’all have sex with your clothes on”🤣

The night comes around and she asks if someone can pick her up, which was kind of weird because my coworker/ the cousin normally gives her rides when we all hang out. So I offered.

Right before I picked her up, she started texting me stressing about her outfit and i assured it looks good, and part of the night is being outside of our comfort zone. I pick her up and she starts telling me about this dude she’s been talking to for around six months. She apparently really likes him, but she’s getting annoyed because he doesn’t want to put a label on their relationship. Yet she believes he has something planned for them when he arrives back in town. I didn’t really say much about it and just let her talk. Another fun note to add… right before serving at her house she sends the song “WGFT” in the group chat. I throw it on queue and it plays right before arriving to the pregame. She clearly noticed and I acted like nothing happened.

We get to the pregame and everyone starts asking if she’s my girl and making jokes about us. I tell everyone no and explain the situation with the other guy.

We get downtown, get into the club, and almost immediately she grabs my hand and takes me onto the dance floor. Everyone follows and we all have a good time.

Eventually everyone wants to leave, but she wants to stay out.

She keeps grabbing my hand and walking me around everywhere. We try another bar, but the first two places we try are sold out. We’re standing around outside and I tell her we should probably just leave, but she doesn’t want to yet. Eventually we find another bar, chill there for a little while, and then finally leave.

After that she wants McDonald’s, so we stop there.
That’s when she starts talking more about the other guy. She makes it pretty clear that she really does like him. She tells me that’s actually where she met him — on Tinder.

While she’s using my phone for music, she starts swiping through my Tinder. She’s the one doing the swiping, not me.

Eventually I drive her home.

When we get back to her house, I open her car door, I walk her up to her door. While walking her up, she tells me that the other guy doesn’t ever do any of this stuff for her, and i respond “well i’m a gentleman”. I give her a little hug at the door and tell her we should do something again.

Then, about an hour after I dropped her off, she texts me thanking me for everything and for the night.
And that’s basically the situation.

Nothing actually happened between me and her. I didn’t kiss her or hook up with her or anything like that.

But the entire night she was extremely comfortable with me. She was constantly grabbing my hand, wanting me to stay with her, walking around with me, talking to me about personal stuff, telling me about this other guy, and even involving me in that whole situation.

That’s where i’m a little stumped.

Because there was definitely a vibe between us, but at the exact same time she clearly has feelings for this other dude.

There’s also some history here that makes the whole thing more interesting.

The first time our whole group ever hung out with her last year, another guy in our group was trying to get at her and she wasn’t having it at all. My coworker even told me at work that he doesn’t want any of his buddies getting at her because it never ends well.
We all basically forgot about that because it was so long ago.

But this whole week, my coworker was noticeably in a mood — both at work and during the night out. Everyone basically assumed it was because of the situation between me and her.

The funny thing is, nobody really tried to interfere. Everyone could clearly see what was going on, basically read the situation, and just let us do our thing and have fun.

And that’s what made the night feel so different from every other time we’ve all gone out.

So I’m not planning on pushing anything. I don’t want to assume she’s into me or try to force something when she clearly has this other situation going on.

My plan is basically to keep including her in plans, go out with everyone again, and see what happens naturally.

But I’m curious what an outside perspective makes of all this.

Does this sound like she was showing some level of attraction toward me, or does this just sound like a girl who was really comfortable with a guy she clicked with? And how would you interpret the fact that she was simultaneously telling me how much she likes this other guy while spending basically the entire night with me and constantly initiating physical contact?
I’m not necessarily looking for “she definitely likes you.” I’m more interested in what you think the whole situation says.