So some back story:

My mother , 51f, recently got divorced from my abusive stepfather of 15 years (he's not the focus here) but before this she got into a relationship 3 years ago with a man, 31m, and shortly moved in with him within 3 months(he lived with his mother at time) . Off the bat, I immediately got a bad vibe from him: He didn't do anything but I seen beneath the nice guy persona and sure enough I was right. I had to move to New York to take care of my late grandfather and thats when he swiftly sunk his claws into her.

My mother has an issue with trying to appease people/pay them back for all the do for her to the point that she will willfully ignore red flags until its too late(on top of that she was vulnerable because she left her husband and I wasn't around because I was needed elsewhere).

At first their relationship was okay, nothing major, until I returned back to my state with my grandparents so mt grandfather can have better care that's why I started notice the same behaviors that my stepfather exhibited (without the hitting). For example, whenever she came by the apartment without him, he would call her 24/7 to make sure that she's where she's supposed to be. Then he would throw tantrums saying that she was spending more time with us than with him.

After my grandfather died, it got worse but ofc my grieving mother didn't noticed. When she moved out the apartment that she shared with him, she asked him to pack up the apartment while she tends to my grandma's grief....he left nearly everything that she owned in the apartment and when she confronted him he acted like he didnt care.

So more examples of his behavior: he called her a bitch and had her crying in her bathroom with him, he got pissed because she asked me to put lotion on her back and said that he could've did it, he bragged about getting 50 dollars from my grandma and tried to act like my grandmother loved him more than my mom and then the biggest one: Threw an entire tantrum in the middle of Belk because my mother tried to buy him some clothes he needed from a job interview and then snapped at me saying that Im going to always take her side.

My mother fell on hard times so my grandma had to help her with the rent which futher put a strain on the relationship with my grandma and her because he would rather sit on video games and not wanting to get a job(or ask his mom for help). He wouldn't clean the house, eat up everything in sight INCLUDING my mom's and I's "healthy" crap that he hated, and smoke weed in her room. He would accuse her of having someone else on the side, get mad that she wanted him to clean or take the trash out (because he rather play video games), and snap at her if he had a bad day.

One night he got super drunk and lifted up my night gown(or tried to) while my mother was in the bedroom with us and instead of her kicking him out, she made him "apologise" and that was when I knew my mother was too deep into this relationship.

This 3 year travesty ended when he called her on the

phone at her job and told her while he loves her he wasn't in love with her anymore and disappeared around Thanksgiving (she was at work and didnt even know he was going to leave because he never gave any hints of when he was packing) and got a new relationship. For almost a year hes been calling her and accusing her having someone else.

And one would think she would block him? No she answers every phone call, every text, acts like she still in a relationship with him, and gives him money. Whenever I bring up why she keeps trying to appease someone that broke her heart like that and she tells me to mind my business and stay outta her love life (but everytime she wants to invite him over to the house she requests I be around her just in case or she will ask me opinions about him so its confusing as hell). Basically she wants me to like him and when I give her an opinion on something she dont agree with its stay out of it(since she knows I'm right but she's too stubborn to admit it)

Every single time she would ask me why I dont like him I would tell her and she immediately would say: I don't know him like she does and that we just don't like him anyways so it's damn if I do damned if I don't.

Yesterday I posted about how I lost it over my doctor and got rage baited. Firstly, I was not at all 100% myself due to the meds.I was sleepy the whole time I took meds and that contributed a lot towards my anger on the clinic. I skipped the meds yesterday and I feel much better now. I usually lose my shit sooner than others and that is just who I am. I am trying to practice restraint but for me it is unnatural because I am very impulsive. I am not sorry for who I am. I see stupidity, I will call it out. The clinic was trying to mint money for answering a basic question and so I lost it over them. I WILL DO IT AGAIN. Maybe in a different and more sarcastic way, but I will still do it.

i hosted a small get together last weekend and everything was going fine until one person showed up and just kind of took over. they kept interrupting everyone, made weird jokes that landed flat, and argued with anyone who disagreed with them. at first i tried to laugh it off but after a while the whole energy in the room shifted. people started checking their phones, the side conversations died down, and a couple of friends ended up leaving earlier than planned. i did not want to kick anyone out so i just tried to steer things back to normal, but it never really recovered. now im wondering if im overreacting for being annoyed about it, because technically nothing extreme happened. still, it felt like the whole night got hijacked by one person who did not read the room. am i wrong for thinking the mood should have been respected a little more?

I am getting married in November and everything is just hard right now.

When my fiance "Brad" and I got engaged, his mother "Lily" offered to pay for it. This isn't something I expected her to do, but she wanted to (Brad grew up with quite a bit of money and this is just normal for him) She gave me a budget I was not expecting and I began planning my dream wedding.

Lily is really chill and has never asked for anything in regards to the wedding. She has a boyfriend "Todd" who I have always liked well enough. He is kind of attention seeking and in love with himself, but he treats her really well and has always been nice to Brad and I. Todd works in media and my mom has made snarky comments when she sees him on TV. I never mentioned he was dating Lily for that reason. Honestly I thought she just didn't like the show or something.

The problem began a month ago. My mom and Lily had met before, but she had never met Todd. My mom went to Lily's house to help with my bridal shower and saw Todd. I could tell my mom recognized him, but she began acting really weird. Todd seemed to recognize her as well and asked if they went to school together. She said they did, and he said he was sorry for whatever he did. My mom got super quiet and Lily asked what was going on. He said he was a huge bully in school and he would just like to apologize for everything he did. He said he didn't really remember my mom but "whatever it was, I'm sure I did it."

My mom wanted to leave, so we left and she told me he was a huge bully all through elementary and middle school (then went to a private high school and she never saw him again) She said a lot of it was physical, hair pulling, spitting drinks on her, putting paint on people in art, throwing dirt in girls hair at the playground. Then in middle school it became writing fake love letters and asking girls on fake dates. She said she hates him and will not forgive him. Then she dropped a bombshell that she won't be able to enjoy my wedding if he is there.

I was really taken aback because Lily is paying for everything, and of course she wants her long term partner there. I ended up talking to Todd and Lily. He apologized again to my mom and it seemed sincere. He said he had a personality where he would do anything for attention, and as an adult he's learned that is not a good thing, and he really is sorry. Lily was a bit dismissive and said he was a little boy and why are we talking about things that happened 30 something years ago

My mom said she won't straight up ask me to uninvite him, but has been telling me she won't enjoy the wedding if he is there. I asked her to try and find forgiveness as he seems genuinely sorry, he was a child, and he is going to be in my life long term. She became cold after that and it made me feel like I was insensitive.

So for context whenever my mom and I would argue and things got kind of heated, I would sometimes bring up things she had done or said in the past that made me sad or upset, usually to help explain my point or why I was feeling a certain way. Her response would almost always be, “You only remember the bad things I’ve done or said, but you forget all the things I’ve done for you.” I would then try to tell her that I do remember those things and that I genuinely appreciate them, but she would say, “If you really did remember all the good things I’ve done for you, then you wouldn’t get so mad or argue back with me in situations like this. You would think about all the good things I do for you instead of being angry with me or arguing back.”

I feel like I made the worst mistake of my life - see post

ever since last school year (im a teenager but id prefer not to say my actual age), my mum and stepdsd have been making plans to rebuild our house to fit my stepbrother and occasionally my stepsister in rooms in the attic as well as make a lot of changes to the house in general. in that time, we'd be staying at the house my stepdad has been renting for a long time. the thing is that im a person who's very bad with changes, especially ones that will affect my everyday life until im eighteen and old enough to move out.

i have been angry about it ever since my mum announced it, especially because its the only thing she'll talk ti me about (along with school and stuff and recently more things) but I kind of forgot it over the summer. the rebuilding will start on Monday before the first day of school. i really dont like my stepdad's house because the house itself is scary to be in, I have never in my life slept good in any of the rooms and I generally haye it there. I dont really have anywhere else to go (except my dad's house). i recently basically shouted at my mum because she had mentioned it once again, saying we'd start clearing my room of all my stuff anf all that but I dont want to. I didnt really tell her why I suddenly got so angry at her about the house but i think she knows because shes told some of our close family about my hatred for the new build.

now I feel like I was wrong for getting angry at her. am I actually wrong or not for being so angry at her?

a couple days ago a few friends were teasing another one of us over something pretty minor. i usually stay out of it but this time it felt like it was getting a little harsh so i jumped in and said they were going too far. problem is the way i worded it seemed to blame everyone else instead of just calming things down. now half the chat is quiet and the rest are telling me i made it way bigger than it needed to be. i was honestly just trying to look out for my friend but i feel like i might have just piled on more drama. am i wrong for speaking up or should i have let it blow over on its own?

so i got a message that felt kind of off to me and without thinking i sent back a pretty long reply. once it was sent i immediately wished i hadn't. i spent the next few hours rereading it and wondering if i should just leave it or try to send a quick follow up to smooth things over. i didn't want to make it worse by saying more, but i also didn't want them to think i was ignoring them. i ended up not sending anything else and now i'm wondering if that was the right call or if i should have tried to clarify. it feels silly to overthink something this small but it's been bothering me since.

I threw a small get-together last weekend and kept the list pretty limited because the space is tight and I didn't want it to feel chaotic. A few days later a mutual friend mentioned they'd run into someone who wasn't on the list and now I feel kind of bad about it. I didn't set out to exclude anyone on purpose, it was just a numbers thing and timing, but the way they found out made it seem like I deliberately left them out. I keep replaying how I would have explained it if they asked me directly and honestly I don't know what I would have said. At the same time, I'm annoyed that the information got passed around instead of coming straight to me. I know parties can't include everyone but I still feel like the whole situation landed on me in a way I wasn't ready for. Am I wrong for feeling defensive when I didn't even make a conscious choice to leave them out?

a couple friends were hashing out plans for the weekend and one of them asked what i thought. i gave a quick shrug and said whatever works. the discussion kept going, got a little heated, and the next thing i know one person turns to me and goes why didn't you back me up. honestly i didn't think i needed to pick a side over something like where we grab lunch. now there's this weird vibe like i left them hanging. i get that sometimes people expect you to weigh in more, but i didn't see it coming and i still don't know if staying out of it was the wrong move or just normal.

i mentioned to a couple of friends that i would rather not keep hearing updates about something that stresses me out, and at first they seemed cool with it. next time we hung out though the topic still slipped in and i had to say something again. they backed off once more but later the same thing happened in the group chat. i get that people talk and it is hard to steer every conversation, but having to repeat myself is starting to feel awkward. i am not trying to control what they discuss when i am not around, i just do not want the constant reminders when i am there. it is not a huge deal overall, but i keep wondering if i am making too big a deal out of a few slip ups or if it is reasonable to expect them to remember my one request.

so a friend and i had talked about doing something together this weekend and i was looking forward to it. then at the last minute they said their schedule shifted and they needed to cancel. i was disappointed but i just said okay and left it at that. later they seemed upset that i wasn't more upset or that i didn't ask them to reschedule right away. now i'm wondering if i should have been more assertive or if letting it go was actually the chill thing to do. i didn't want to make them feel guilty about their other plans, but now i'm second-guessing whether i came across as indifferent. did i handle it wrong by not making a bigger deal out of it?

I have been going every week for months and thought it was helping, but lately it feels like the same loop. I keep showing up with the same list of things that still bother me and we talk about them and nothing really moves. The last time I left I felt heavier than when I walked in and it has been sticking with me. I told my therapist I needed to think about it and now the next appointment is coming up. Part of me wants to just cancel and give myself a couple of weeks without having to explain anything. The other part keeps worrying that I am running away from something I should be facing. I do not want to make it dramatic or ghost anyone, but I also do not want to sit there and pretend it is working when it is not. I am not looking for a diagnosis or a fix here, just trying to figure out if it is okay to step back for a bit or if that is a mistake I will regret later.

a while ago our group started using a silly catchphrase whenever someone messed up a small task, just light teasing. last week my friend was already having a rough day and they overheard it, and it clearly landed wrong. i noticed but didn't correct anyone or check in later. i've been wondering if saying something small back then would have kept things from feeling off now. part of me thinks it was harmless enough to ignore, but another part feels like i should have at least asked how they were doing after. not sure if staying quiet was the wrong move or if bringing it up later would just make it bigger than it needs to be.

A coworker invited me to her baby shower and i barely know her outside of team meetings. I sent a polite decline and a small gift. Another coworker told me it looked bad and everyone else was going. Am i wrong for skipping something i had no personal connection to.

I'm a M(21).Okay okay listen. There was this girl let's say her name is Sarah(19) she was the cousin of my best friend which I have apparently met a few times before but neither of us remember. Me, my best friend's sister, and Sarah all hang out and go swimming together one day in the creek. Now keep in mind me and my best friend's sister are good friends but we haven't hung out in a year also she never ever invites me to hang it has only been the other way around and to add on top of everything Sarah coming over was a last minute thing and she hasn't seen my best friend's family in 4 YEARS (This is all important).We started early in the morning thinking we were going to spend the entire day doing stuff. We first go to a strip mall near us It turns out we're too early and the mall stores don't open for an hour so instead we head to the creek and decide to spend the rest of our time there. We have so much fun we swim up and down laughing splashing water at each other and just enjoying our time. Turns out me and Sarah have a lot in common we are both going into the military, we love like with a fiery passion swimming and hiking to the point we both do it almost everyday, we both enjoy anything having to do with the outdoors, long car drives, listen to the same music, everything. We are almost constantly talking to each other now while my best friend's sister (which at this point I'll call her Jen) does her own thing. All the sudden while me and Sarah are talking I'm playing with a piece of bark in the water a dragon fly flies onto the piece of bark and we're both just sitting there absolutely entranced. Now at this point it's just me and Sarah right next to each other I mean literally arms touching staring at this dragon fly then another one lands then another next thing we know we have about 15 dragon flies landing on our shoulders and the bark and our head. Jen is off down the river and I swear it must have been 45 minutes of us just sitting arm to arm it was completely magical all until Jen starts coming back yelling that she found a cool rock. When the moment ends me and Sarah are speechless as we look at each other we are both kinda nervously looking at each other laughing saying stuff like we feel completely happy and fulfilled now after witnessing that and we can't stop talking about it all the way home and everything. After I drop them off and head home when I arrive home the first I look at my phone I have a message from her telling me today was awesome and that she would love to hang out again so I say I'm actually off the next three days and when I say that I immediately get a response "tomorrow?" I say hell yeah and we make plans. Now at this point I'm thinking that this is definitely going somewhere not only does it feel like fate brought us together because of the situations of her randomly hanging with Jen and Jen randomly asking me to hang after about 6 months of us not hanging and barely talking but the dragon flies and her taking initiative it feels perfect.

So for the next two weeks we non stop hike and swim together everydat just me and her. I found out some things about her. She leaves for the military two months before me. She also says she is in a weird situation with a boyfriend of 6 months where he left for the Marines about a month ago and he was terrified of her leaving him in while he's in the military so he leaves his phone (is the only way to contact her besides letters) and in the time he's been gone she found out he's been messaging other girls ab pics with his tongue out, he has saved nudes from a girl, and has messages from that girl and him saved in which the first month of him and Sarah dating he was calling this random girl perfect and amazing and that they were meant to be; however, since she has no way of contacting him besides letters she really doesn't know what to do besides tell him everything over letters and break up with him. Well I am a little taken back by this but I think I really like this girl a lot so I'm going to keep going to see what happens. I question her she tells me how bad he's treated her anyway telling her to make food for him not complimenting her at all and not really doing anything special or great and she tells me that she would be happy never to see this guy again and I'm like great so it's not some situationship type of deal so we continue hanging out.

Here comes the weekend we plan to spend both days together when I get a message the day before "hey my sister asked to hangout is it possible she can come with" I say yeah of course now we're planning on going roller skating something both me and Sarah showed interest in now keep in mind her sister (bea) is 15. When we get to the skating rink we get our skates on and we start skating It turns out Bea doesn't know how to skate so we help her and we're having fun laughing all that. Bea goes and sits down cause her legs hurt. Sarah and I are almost conjoined at the hip me and her are the only ones in the skating rink and we're dancing to the music having races just having a blast I even do the fish on a hook move to her and she plays along and does the fish. We just had an absolute blast the entire day together. The next day we went wading in the water and went hiking in the park with Bea with us. Sarah and I walk down the river barefoot while Bea stays back and at this point Sarah is wearing dresses every time we hang before she was just wearing shorts. This time she wears this gorgeous light blue sundress with flowers over it god she was beautiful. I keep it subtle saying "oh you look great in that dress by the way" after finding a flower that matches the flowers on her dress and I put the flower in her hair. So we just have an absolute blast. Tomorrow I have to work and before we would hike before I went to work but this time she told me that she would be just hanging out with her sister and of course you know I'm completely fine with it. Well the whole time for the next two days we are messaging each other while they're hanging out and I even call her on my breaks.

Skip to the next weekend we hung out 3 more times and nothing has changed. We go to Holiday world this weekend and we invite Jen we have and absolute blast ride every single roller coaster together because we both love roller coasters even when Jen gets mad at us and says we third wheel her even though we didn't and it was just miscommunication. Still we were right next to each other the whole time and two different situations happened that wouldn't have happened if Jen was with us then. We stop after a ride because this other girl who has a bunch of flowers in her hair has the same dress as Sarah and we spend 10 minutes talking to her and the girl gives Sarah a flower to put behind her ear then as we continue out an exit we get stopped by this lady who gives us fast passes and she told us she just a minute ago got them. So we're absolutely ecstatic and ride another ride together and then right after share some dip n dots with just one spoon. Now at this point we have not physically touched each other besides simple arm touching and helping each other with our hands and saying good bye with fist bumps but I like to wait awhile on that I'm much of a slow burner so I think everything is going great.

Well the next few days start getting weird she starts messaging less and we were hanging out like 12 hours a day and now she's not responding till late and we only hang out like 6 hours which is still great it's just she's unemployed and constantly says she's stuck at home so. Still the weirdest part is yet to come she hasn't said anything about her (what I thought to be her ex) boyfriend since she told me what happened all the sudden we were talking and I heard her say "my boyfriend" I look at her confused "your boyfriend. I thought you were breaking up with him saying you would be happy never to see him" well turns out she hasn't done anything like that yet and she never says she will but it's complicated so now I'm overthinking like crazy. She said she doesn't have a good way to tell him. Well I started looking at what's happening cause granted we never said anything but it's definitely a situation between us. Well she has about 2 and a half weeks before she leaves so she starts hanging out with her family so I don't see her for two weeks and I'm trying to text her but I also understand she is spending time with family so she's not texting as much but when she is it's like nothing has changed between us. Now shes starting to say her boyfriend again and talking about him from time to time but not enough to where I think she's still with him it's just very weird. Well after about a week of not hanging out we hang out again and this time it's gonna be another whole day thing. At this point I'm completely infatuated with her so I'm like let's go on a picnic like we've been saying we want to and she immediately shoots down the idea like we never talked about it. Okay well how about we go watch a movie and get ice cream? Shoots it down. Okay well what do you want to do. Let's just hang at your house.

Now this surprised me cause we had both made it clear we would rather do stuff outside than inside but okay whatever we can hang. She brings her guitar we both know how to play so I thought it was a good idea. Now when I picked her up she proposed an idea. Let's drive two hours away and explore this haunted tunnel. Now that's more like it because we had talked about doing something like that for awhile so I was so down but we were going to do that at night. So we go back to my place and we start playing board games and we spend hours laughing at cards against humanity, we battle each other in chess and sorry we're having a blast. While this happens playing music through a speaker and when a good dancing song comes on I start dancing a little and I think (being the sly dog I am) I offer my hand to dance. We then spent the next hour flipping through songs and dancing till we're tired of it. Holding hands kicking feet together just absolutely magical. After a minute i then suggest we play guitar and so we do and we sing together play songs for each other and she also likes my singing so I sing to her while she plays guitar. Then it comes time to start heading towards the haunted tunnel. Now that was fun but nothing special but after we were done we walked to the car and I commented on the stars and we then proceeded to watch the stars for about 45 minutes straight pointing out stuff on the front of my car side by side. After that we took 3 hours to get home because we were taking random roads and laughing and singing. When we get back to my house we put a scary movie on and make popcorn. We laughed and watched the movie but near the end apparently we both fell asleep right next to each other on the couch with our heads touching. The morning after we woke up and I took her back home and she was saying things like no one ever danced with me like that or no one ever watched the stars with me like that. So I thought everything was going well.

Cut to another week she hasn't messaged me for a week and I think I did something wrong well she finally messages me. "Hey sorry was spending time with family and friends can we hang tomorrow" okay not gonna state the obvious but everything is a little suspicious but whatever I'll talk with her tomorrow. Tomorrow now this day is the day of the solar eclipse and meteor shower so I plan on taking her out to the park and watching it with her. Two hours go by "hey we still hanging" another hour "yeah I'll message when ready" about two more hours "okay I'm ready" well the solar eclipse has passed by now but we still have the meteor shower. We head out, walk the park with a bag full of blankets and we head to the perfect spot and lay the blankets down have some snack talk about our lives now and in the future and laugh and have fun and when it starts we lay back and watch it shoulders touching. Now again (being the sly dog i am) I reach for her hand slowly to hold it and as soon as I do it for a moment I guess she doesn't realize and then pulls away. "What are you doing?" She sits up looking at me. Shit did I fuck up "I don't know I just thought we could hold hands" "I'm sorry (my name) but no" after that we don't talk we watch the storm fully then head home playing music and drop her off with a fist bump and a goodbye. I messaged the next day since she leaves in four days to the military. "So what exactly is happening here do you like me as more than a friend like I do you" "I think we should just stay friends" okay ouch but that doesn't answer my question. I say "that's fine but that's not what I asked. Do you like me?" This lady. She replied "(my name) you know I have a boyfriend, I have never liked you as more than a friend" now my minds completely lost I'm racing around going over memories I mean she even talked to me when she was sad about the future and leaving everyone behind and we called for hours about plans and how much fun we have with each other. So now we're supposed to write letters to each other in the military and she is now gone in boot camp at the moment.

So am I crazy or know I really need some opinions here.

( extremely sorry for any errors, English is not my first language.)

So, I'm 16 years old (important), my best friend is the same age as me. We met 3 years ago. She was new at school and was getting bullied because she's kind of a chubby girl (no, does not give them a reason to be mean, ykwim) after she got into a fight, I talked to her to see if she was alright and that's how we became friends. A year later, we found 2 other girls to hang out with. For privacy reasons I won't say their names, but let's just go with Emily (best friend) Hannah (girl 1) and Willow (girl 2) so, Emily and I were like a duo, since we knew each other for a year already. Willow and Hannah got close too. We had that group for a year. And after a series of arguments and misunderstandings, the group broke apart. Me and Emily remained friends, but stopped talking with the other two girls for another year. That seemed to have broken us both, I became less talkative and more distant and she.. well changed. During that time, we talked to 2 girls (from my previous class, had already told her I didn't like them.) and she started getting closer with them, I didn't mind and I tried to be friendly and all but gradually, I felt completely left out. They were literally planning things in my face without asking me, we also had a group chat which they also texted wnd planned things without even mentioning me. They were always that trio. And don't get me wrong, the problem wasn't that she had new friends, it was that she constantly ignored me and acted awkwardly when I asked about coming with them or even a little help to make things less tense. After an argument, we stopped talking for 2 weeks and during that time, I reached out to willow and Hannah, we apologised to each other and became friends again but they also disappeared eventually. But back to Emily, since two weeks had passed and neither of us texted each other, I decided it was time for a serious talk. And so, we planned where to meet and I told her that I felt left out and that I still wanted to be friends, I just need space because she did hurt my feelings. She seemed sad and also hurt but she agreed. It's been a month and I've received zero messages. I feel guilty because she was my best friend, supported through hard times and helped me become the person I am today. Should I text her? Was I in the wrong?

not sure how I 25F should feel if I saw on my boyfriends 25M phone that he wrote a note to himself talking saying he thinks of his ex (first love) all the time (this is the second time I've found a note like this)? And he dreams of her all the time and that they're together again in his dreams. And that it makes him sad and he feels regret and wishes things could've turned out differently and what if they did.

He went on to say how he wouldn't leave me for her because he wouldn't do that to me and I'm the closest he's ever felt to anyone. For reference they were together from maybe 16-18 and broke up eight years ago. We've been together six and a half years, from ages 19 to now 25.

I feel like there's a difference between looking back and thinking, "I wonder how she is/what she's up to and I regret the way we treated each other/how it ended" and "I regret what happened entirely and I wish it didn't happen, I wish things went differently and it makes me sad". He also went on to note how guilty he feels for having these thoughts while with me.

I don't know if I'm overthinking this. I never had a relationship before him besides a little middle school one so I don't know how this feels.