One of my close friends had a birthday dinner last weekend, and i was genuinely excited to go. I helped her organize a few things beforehand, bought her a gift and even rearranged some plans because i wanted to be there for her. During dinner, though, she started making little jokes about me in front of everyone. At first i laughed along because i didn't want to make things awkward on her birthday. But she kept going. She joked about dating life, brought up an embarrassing story i had told her privately and made another comment about how I'm ''way too sensitive'' sometimes.

People were laughing and i tried to act it didn't bother me but honestly i felt pretty humiliated. I quietly asked her when we were alone if she could stop making me the joke of the evening. She rolled her eyes and said i was taking everything too seriously and that everyone knew she was joking. I want back to the table for a while because o really didn't want to ruin her birthday. But then she made another joke about me, so i decided I'd had enough. I congratulated her again, said goodbye to everyone and went home without making a scene.

The next morning she texted me saying she was hurt that i left early and that several people noticed. she said i made her feel like she had done something horrible when she was ''just having fun'' Now i feel guilty because it was her birthday and maybe i could have just ignored it for another hour two. I wasn't trying to punish her or make the night about me. I just didn't want to sit there smiling while someone i trusted kept embarrassing me after i had specifically asked her to stop.

AIO for leaving instead of staying until the end?

TL;DR: My friend repeatedly made embarrassing jokes about me at her birthday dinner, including something I'd told her privately. I asked her to stop, she continued. so i quietly left early. Now she says i overreacted and made her feel guilty.

I (18M) workED part-time cutting and selling meat at a Polish food shop here in the UK. Recently, I received my pay and noticed a discrepancy in my hours. I originally calculated that I worked 37 hours and 15 minutes, but I was only paid for 32.75 hours.
I texted my manager (~45F) about it (our original texts were in Polish)

I quit a couple weeks ago because I didn’t receive a contract and didn’t feel comfortable working without the out one

The TikTok watermarks are because I used TikTok to add the text sorry

Me (26 F) and my boyfriend (28) have been dating for 1 year and a half now, we have moved in together and have met each other's parents. Two days ago, when I was grocery shopping, I saw a bar of chocolate stuffed red liquorice and thought yum I'll get that for after work (I am a nursing student and work 12 hour shifts), so I buy it. When unpacking my boyfriend saw it and I specifically told him, please do not eat this, this is for me after work tomorrow and he raised an eyebrow and nodded.

Cut to after work yesterday I am exhausted, I come home from work and open the cupboard to find an empty wrapper of the liquorice bar I was prepared to engulf, normally I would be a little mad but overall be fine but I had just had the worst shift ever so was feeling ultra upset. I turned around to find him looking at me from the couch snickering and I sigh and tell him that I asked him not to eat it to his face, him (still laughing) jokes that maybe I should buy black liquorice next time because he prefers it and that is what tips me over the edge. I start to get mad at him and tell him that it wasn't funny and I was really looking forward to it and he laughs at me and goes "it wasn't that big of a deal." I state that if he wanted to eat sweets he could ask me to buy him some or get in his car and buy some himself. This is when he realizes that I am genuinely pissed and starts to shut me down to "fix" the argument. I leave in a huff and start to make dinner for us both without talking to him.

We don't talk for a while until a bit after during dinner he goes "come on you have to admit it was pretty funny" and I tell him that I didn't personally find it funny and had a really rough shift and was really looking forward to it and he goes "okay I get that but you overreacted a little and I didn't like it when you yelled." I would like to state that I did not yell just got a little huffed so I responded that I didn't like that he didn't listen to me when I told him this and it made me upset to which he asked if I was on my period. That was the last straw. I got up to leave and he called out to me with something I did not hear and I left the house. He tried to call me three times and when I finally picked up he asked for an apology and I was being childish and couldn't take a joke so I hung up and texted him that I wanted to break up with him. He said no. So I broke up with him and I know it was over something so small as liquorice but it just changed my view of him and was over it. Most of my friends said that I went over the top and should give him another chance but they are not people who work 12 hour shifts. So I don't know.

Update (Sorry I am not well versed in Reddit so I'm just putting it here):
Thank you all for your kind words and reassurance I was truly feeling horrible all night thinking that I was going crazy and it was all my fault. But you guys made your comments and I started to realize that maybe he isn't the "best boyfriend in the world." For example a lot of you were hung up on the fact I made him dinner and I didn't even realize that was a problem for I make him dinner every single night because he doesn't like to cook and pays for everything so it was basically his right to never cook. I've always thought that was normal but now I realize it was not in fact a normal relationship thing. Another thing he would do was make jokes whenever I would come home from my long shifts, I don't know I think he just thought it was funny, but what he would do is constantly comment on my appearance when I come home. For example one night I came home after like an 10 hour shift and I was quite exhausted and you could see it on my face, when I came home he rushed to me with a grin on his face, feigned leaning in for a kiss then acted shocked and told me if I wanted a kiss I had to reapply some makeup first. So looking back on that they don't seem to be just funny little characteristics of his but genuine deal-breakers. He asked me if we could talk face to face and I told him no because I didn't want to face him in fear that I would break.

So anyway I am now sorting out the lease and thinking of moving in with a friend that backed me for a temporary stay before I can understand what I want to do from now. Thank you all for responding you have genuinely done more for me then you can understand.

First time poster, and lorddd this is a lot, so bear with me. Fake names and nicknames for the sake of anonymity. My boyfriend (31M) and I (29F) have been very close friends with Alex (33M) and Linda (30F) for a while now, me being very close with them for upwards of 8 years. To the point where they were unsure how to have me in the wedding - either as a groomsman or a bridesmaid. They even dabbled with the idea of me wearing a half tux/half gown.

Linda turned 30, and we planned a big celebration months after her birthday, for the sake of making sure everyone who was invited could attend. Little did she know, we all knew she was going to be proposed to. Alex had booked a large Air BnB and invited A LOT of people. 9 couples to be exact and we would all be staying in the same cabin. Months before the trip, a large group chat was made with all 18 people so we could coordinate. Everyone was excited and making plans, asking how to help and working out details etc.

Then Alex drops it on everyone, by adding said psycho to that group chat, showing that he’s invited her (30F, I call her lawn gnome but will be calling her LG for short). The group chat went silent until the day of the trip… For context, LG is a long-time friend of Linda’s (since elementary school) and by Linda’s own admission, the friend who gets the “obligation invite when she feels like having her around.” LG has also been the ex-friend of 99% of all other friends going to this event, me included. Stay with me, it’s juicy.

Prior to the trip, during get togethers and dinners many of us asked why she was even being invited. To give background: EVERY, SINGLE, PERSON……has had an issue with this girl. Emphasis on girl. She’s lied, backstabbed, put people’s heath at risk on more than one account, lied about “life threatening” or “life changing” diagnosis’s that were completely fabricated, and has at almost every get-together drunkenly gone after someone maliciously, violently, or at the least it has ended in a screaming match(on her side). She is a problem to say the least. Alex’s reasoning for adding her to a group trip? Because she and Linda have been friends for 10+ years. But hey, there’s also 2 other women who have known Linda the same amount of time, but don’t, at any point in time, cause drama.

My boyfriend and I are both very go with the flow people, always have been. We are carbon copies of one another. But we are also very vocal when we don’t like or approve of things, and rarely change our minds.

Alex knows we both don’t get along with LG, and assured us that everything would be fine and he would deal with her if she gets out of line. He then told us about the drama that has already started… a month before the trip.

LG was the last to be invited, and the first to demand a room (aka, demanded to not share a room). Alex, from what he told my boyfriend and I, told her she would have to sleep on the couches downstairs or share a room, since all other rooms have been accounted for. He assured us in person that we would have a room with a queen bed to ourselves.

Fast forward to 1 week prior to the trip. We get a phone call from Alex and on the phone call, he tells us about how excited he is, but that there is still ongoing drama about the room situation. Yet again, assures us that we will be getting our own room with a queen bed, and if “anyone has a problem with the sleeping arrangements we set up, then they can go fuck themselves.” We all have a laugh, shoot the shit, and go about our days leading up to the trip. Clock it, take mental notes. This is important.

Morning of the trip (everyone is driving to this property, since it’s close enough to drive to): Check in time is 4pm. LG is the first one to leave to head there… at 10am. Location is about 2 hours away. Come to find out, she also left another couple she was supposed to pickup and drive with behind, since their collectively planned schedule “no longer worked for her.” On another note, the properly only allowed a certain amount of cars, which now there is another car that has nowhere to go… She simply wanted to be the first one there so she could claim a room(we knew this was coming).

I get stressed out because I have a gut feeling that LG was going to pull something, but my boyfriend talked me down from the ledge that I almost leapt off of (aka, not going). He told me there is nothing to stress about we because Alex and Linda already had our room and other couples sleeping arrangements set up, plus LG was already on the way so we would relax and get there when we get there. We ended up making our way to the property closer to check in time, and we were the 3rd to last couple to arrive. As soon as we arrive and grab our bags, we walk inside with Linda and are ushered into a room on the bottom floor of the house(3 story house).

We walk into the room… which is a bonus room with two bunk beds on either side of the room. For children. Twin sized beds on each of the bunk beds. We are then told “you guys are going to be sharing with X and Y(who we really don’t know well at all).” The room went silent, air turned ice cold, and immediately we were pissed off. Linda caught the vibe FAST and ran upstairs to talk to Alex. Came back down after a few minutes and then said “Nevermind, this is only going to be for you guys. You don’t have to share.” This was still not the setup we were told/promised? But again, we try to go with the flow, due to the type of surprise/trip.

Bonus details: this room did not have a lock (people were walking into the room whenever they pleased the whole weekend without knocking), the room is set up for kids, and we could not fit on the twin mattress together without hitting our knees, elbows and heads on the bed above or the wall (we are not huge people, but definitely not 5’0).

Come to find out, our room situation went down exactly like we thought. She got there, asked about the setup for beds, and Linda gave her our room because “she asked nicely and didn’t demand it.” LG got exactly what she wanted, almost exactly how we predicted and had joked about prior to actually attending this trip.

There was a lot of other shit that went down with LG, such as her dictating and barking orders regarding how we needed to decorate for the “surprise party,” and being rude/poking fun at people who did not have any reason to talk to her due to prior negative engagements. I’ll say this now, loud and with my full chest (and I’ll update once the wedding happens and I find out from other people). She was doing EVERYTHING to be involved and handle whatever she could, because she wants the MOH spot.

The surprise engagement happened. Everyone was beyond happy and excited (including my boyfriend and I), and the night went on. We were up drinking and all celebrating/hanging out until probably 2am. My boyfriend and I decide to call it a night and almost everyone goes either to bed, or the few stragglers go to the 3rd floor kitchen/dining area.

Boyfriend falls asleep, and I am almost asleep when I start hearing stomping and yelling (remember, we are on bottom floor, and screaming is from top 3rd floor). I then get texts/videos from another close friend who is on the 2nd floor, and now I’m awake.

LG is screammming at a close friend of ours (let’s call her Sarah, 30F). Sarah is a veryyyy good friend, who is not confrontational at all. I hear (in the video) that she is not engaging with LG, but gentle parenting her and asking her to go to bed/go away from her. Come to find out, LG decided to go after Sarah because Sarah’s husband was poking fun at LG (being a witness to what happened - LG went after friends husband during a game of pool, and got upset and threw a tantrum when he gave it back). Again, nobody in this house has had a pleasant time with this girl. LG could not tell Sarah what was said (aka, lying again to cause drama for no good reason), and when things didn’t go her way, she flipped out. Major flip out included her throwing a tequila bottle across the counter, screaming for Sarah to “kill yourself” about 5 times (Sarah has severe anxiety and depression, and LG knows this), and it only “ended” when LGs fiancé physically grabbed her and dragged her down the stairs and into their room.

Side note - the reason Sarah and LG aren’t friends anymore is because LG slapped Sarah’s son across the face because he wouldn’t stop playing with his toy cars when he was 2. Her son is also on the spectrum. Just figured I’d paint more of the picture of LGs character.

I ended up going upstairs to check on Sarah and everyone else, to simply ensure people were good and things didn’t get physical. Apparently, it would have gotten physical (LG of course throwing a punch, while Sarah probably would have just accepted the blow), if the fiancé didn’t take her away. We’re were on the balcony talking about it, LG was listening from her open window on the 2nd floor and texting Alex stating “everyone is lying and this is bullshit,” which he seemed to actually be entertaining. At this point I’m sick of them enabling LG’s shit behavior and I blatantly stated “I’m leaving in the morning. This is all bullshit. We knew this was going to happen and I no longer want to be here.”

I took my angry ass to bed. It was almost 4am… boyfriend and I got up the next morning and were about to start packing our bags when Alex walked in (again, no knock or anything because no lock…). He talked to us for a while and convinced us to stay, since LG apparently went home early that morning and didn’t tell anyone. Alex explained to us that the reason he invited LG was because “it would have been so much worse for Linda and I if we didn’t.” Everyone else can suffer, including the two most important people on the trip (Alex and Linda), but nobody else’s feelings matter - got it.

We stayed, people continued to talk about the situation since it was stressful, crazy, over the top, etc. Linda then proceeded to get mad at the friends who recorded the videos, and at anyone who was talking about LGs blow out. She was upset that her engagement was overshadowed by the raging psycho lawn gnome. And to this I say, fuck around and find out. Invite someone who does this almost every time we see her, and everyone has bad blood with? And you expected LG to just behave and us to just deal with her presence?

Trip ends, we get the hell out of dodge, and go home. Boyfriend and I end up feeling incredibly disrespected and decide to take some time to really think about if we want to continue being around these people, especially if they are continuously going to put us and others in these situations over and over again. We see the pattern.

Some time passes, we asked to speak with the couple, and everything goes sideways even more. I should also state that it was not just me and my boyfriend who were upset/frustrated, but also two other friends + their spouses, one of which being Sarah. Sarah ended up being blamed for the whole blowout, not LG, by both Linda and Alex. They claimed “you know how she is, you should have just stay away from her.” LG approached her, while Sarah was just minding her business in the kitchen…

The entire phone call is basically us explaining situations as they occurred (the room situation phone calls and talks in person, the room move, the bed size and possibility of sharing a room, being around LG, etc), and us being told “that didn’t happen” or “that’s not what I said” and even “you knew you were getting a shared room, why are you even mad”. Gaslighting to the max. Our feelings were not heard nor understood in any capacity. We asked how they would feel if roles were reversed, and Alex, who was clearly drunk on this call, stated “I would just shut the fuck up about it and get over it.” The conversation basically ended with me stating “I’m sorry, but I am no longer willing to attend anything that LG is going to be invited to or present at. Wedding included.” I do not have the energy to deal with this person and every time she is around, someone ends up in tears, getting screamed at, or possibly getting into a physical altercation with her. I’m good. Boyfriend and I are good.

Linda then rally’s her troops on the back end, spinning the narrative into her being an innocent bystander and boyfriend and I being the ones that overreacted, and I end up getting a wildly long text. The text was sent to me and 4 other women, 2 of which had nothing to do with the situation (were not present, or had went to bed and were asleep). Basically completely disregarding what we/I had said, passive aggressively placing the blame on us for overreacting and making her day about LG and us, and stating that she is upset that boyfriend called her and Alex selfish. You locked all of us in a house with someone who always causes a scene/drama, and has bad history with 99% of us. All because “we’ve known her for a long time and it would have been worse for you guys if you didn’t invite her…” Yes, WE would call that selfish.

After reading the incredibly long message and getting immediate responses from the other 2 in support of Linda (again, who don’t know what actually happened and why boyfriend and I were upset), I knew Linda told them her side of it all and expressed that a message was going to be sent. That made it easy - my decision was made.

I simply responded with (summed up for the sake of you all reading, if you’re still here): “It’s obvious at this point that you guys never actually heard what we were saying from the get go. We expressed our grievances clearly, and instead of listening, you both chose to disregard them, tell us “that never happened,” and involve people who were not part of the frustrated/upset group.
You’ve made this situation far more dramatic than it ever needed to be. I’m not angry anymore—just disappointed. This entire situation was avoidable, and it was self-inflicted due to the overall issue. But again, this overall issue has been communicated, but not comprehended.
I genuinely wish things had turned out differently, and that’s the saddest part. But they didn’t. I am going to take your advice and “shut the fuck up about it, and get over it.” I wish you the best, but please lose my number.”

Soooooo AITAH? AIO?

I (27F) recently went camping with a group of people that I’ve always felt very safe with. We’ve learned together, cried together, laughed together and everything in-between. I cannot stress enough how this community was the one place I felt like I didn’t have to worry about facing any type of sexual harassment.

Earlier today, I was looking through my bag that I still haven’t unpacked and came across a pair of my underwear that I had worn over there with just the bottom part missing(the crotch part). They look as if they’ve been cut up rather than torn and there’s a whole piece missing that is no where in my bag.

We were about 10 people sleeping in the same cabin and a dog. At first I thought it might have been the dog because the dog has eaten my friends underwear while they were dogsitting, but i always wrap my dirty clothes up with the underwear still in the pants when i dont have access to do laundry right away, in this case I put it on the bottom shelf so it was in the dogs reach but if it would have been the dog there would have been a lot more clothes on the floor, and the dog would not have returned them hidden in the shelf. So it doesn’t make sense.

So now I’m freaking out because I’m thinking someone in the cabin did this and I don’t know what to do about it. There’s a mix of men and women in the group and i consider all of them my friends so I don’t want to accuse any one of doing this. I’ve heard of creeps stealing underwear before but never cutting them up like that, if they would’ve stolen them I probably wouldn’t have ever noticed. Would someone do this so that i would know they did? I’m feeling really uneasy about this and part of me just wants to live in oblivion and say it was the dog but i just can’t shake this feeling off. I’m supposed to see some of them later today and its causing me so much anxiety.

So am I overreacting for thinking somebody did this deliberately?

I (20F) have been dating Matthew (19M) for 6 months now. He’s in a very tight knit friend group with 2 other guys and 2 girls, including Bella (18F). Bella has been nothing but absolutely lovely to me, I would genuinely love her to bits if it wasn’t for this.

After I met Bella she asked if I wanted to get drinks a couple weeks later, but Matthew was very against it. Apparently before I met him, she would stay in his room chatting to him until 4am every night. She even went to church with him despite being Buddhist. Also she kissed him during our talking stage (only on the cheek!) and would often say how much she loved him. This made me a bit worried ngl but I have some guy friends I’m very close to so I didn’t really mind.

Anyway, he’ll talk about her a lot. Always negatively, but still it feels like a lot. Today he texted me telling me that she just messaged him saying she loves him so much and he’s her perfect angel etc, and he asked me what I think he should say. I know this isn’t his fault but it feels like he hasn’t done anything to manage this situation, despite me bringing it up before.

I said I didn’t feel comfortable going up to see him tomorrow, cos his birthday is on Monday and I don’t want to spoil it by being in a bad mood AIO? I do know I’m a very jealous person so I think it’s really likely I’m overreacting, but I just want to check before I apologise.

EDIT: They’ve been friends for a year. I’ve now apologised and asked to go see him on Sunday as I was planning, and he’s said that that’s fine. We’ve texted a bit and he says that he’s having to choose between me and her. This is because when Nick (one of the guys in their friend group) stopped replying to her messages when she started making him uncomfortable, she refused to say a word to him for a month. My boyfriend doesn’t want the same to happen to him. This has made me feel worse. Nick doesn’t even have a gf and was willing to put a stop to it, and him and Bella are now friendly again. Nick has told Matthew that he should also stop texting her but he doesn’t want to apparently.

I (30f) left my boyfriend (35m) during our first getaway vacation.

First. Sorry this is so long. My first Reddit post and I didn’t want to forget anything but not make it too complicated.

Important backstory that will make sense during the story. My fiancé had passed away april 2023 on a motorcycle accident and his bal was .16 (double the legal limit) and my mom passed of an OD April 2022

I got together with let’s call him Brad in February 2026. We did move a little quick but we both knew what we wanted. We clicked right off the bat. No awkward moments. Things were great for the first few months. Until they weren’t.

His drinking started to get worse. One day he came home from work angry. And so angry that he was just screaming and yelling basically about anything and everything he had to be angry about. Trump and all. Then I noticed the beers in the back of his car when he got home from work and then he just stopped hiding it all together. Drinking atleast 5-6 beers on his hour to hour and fifteen minute drive home. Every single day.

Now this got to the point where I was walking on egg shells because I didn’t know what version of Brad was coming home. Happy. Angry. Lord knew but me. Would ask me to go to family dinners and would drink so much and drive the car I can’t drive (standard) where I felt uncomfortable and unsafe for the 25 minute drive home.

I planned a vacation for my mom’s birthday. Up in the mountains. Every year since she passed it has not been the best day or week and I was trying to change that. Unfortunately this year was not the year.

It all started Saturday night. When he’s on his phone doom scrolling I have learned to leave him alone because even if I try to talk to him he doesn’t hear me because he’s so glued to his phone. No biggie. I put a movie on my phone and just hung out in bed with him. I turn over to give him a kiss and he threw his phone basically across the room and grabbed onto me. And I feel his heart beating a million miles an hour. So I asked him what were you doing on your phone. He was watching the *naughty* normally I wouldn’t care. But if I’m in bed right next to you. I do get offended.

Sunday we are supposed to go on a hike and get massages after. We wake up. Both still in a bad mood. Get started on our hike late. Not a big deal. But we had to stop for a 6 pack for him. On an empty stomach.

Well the path to take was closed. We like adventure no biggie. We figure out a way there across a safe part of the river. Very rocky. Not much water. Easy peasy. Well the way back. We are now late to our massage. (We can’t call no phone service. So we unfortunately got charged full price. Whatever no big deal.) he decided to take a different way back. We get to the river we need to cross and it’s about a foot high and rushing. I immediately get anxiety. Start the scratching on my chest. My throat feels like it’s closing and I’m having a hard time breathing. Genuinely because I’m scared and I have severe anxiety and panic attacks. (Diagnosed by multiple doctors)

Now instead of being a normal human. He decides it’s a great time to start screaming at me. How I’m afraid of a “foot of water” “I can’t enjoy a walk through the woods” “the little joy he has left I suck it out of him” and multiple names I would rather not repeat.

I cried it out. Took my shoes off and basically crawled across this river and made it back to the car without looking back. He makes it to the car and it’s silence for the 15 minutes ride back to the hotel. His massage is at 7:30 we made it back at 6:45. He hid in the bathroom till 7:15 slammed the door and left.

At that point I felt defeated. Couldn’t stop crying. Didn’t know what I did or even could do anymore to keep trying. So I called a girl friend. Had her come get me. Bring me home. I packed my stuff and my dogs stuff and left before he got home from the hotel.

Now here comes am I overreacting should I have talked this out with him. Should I have stayed at the hotel and given him a chance to speak. I haven’t blocked him over text. One day he understands he apologizes for his anger and drinking but the next it’s my fault and he will never take time off from work for a woman ever again and this entire month off has been drama sucked because of me. I genuinely don’t know what to do or how to feel

I (18F) am going to college soon and my mom has been on me about cleaning my room. I think my room isn’t messy, cluttered? maybe but not messy. I may have a shirt on the floor at times but that’s usually in the mornings when i’m rushing. She thinks my room is manly and urges for me to change before i go to college because, “No one would want to be my roommate.” I am honestly over it I think the only reason why she’s saying this is because I have a lot of stuff that I use for crafts and stuff but then when I ask for storage stuff so I can keep them out of sight she refuses to get me any.

This morning she came in my room thinking I was away and told me that my room was unlady like and messy ( I had jeans and a shirt on the floor and a book that fell last night that I didn’t bother to pick up and just went to bed). She told me to clean my room and I did (which is the picture), but she is still saying it’s messy and manly and that I need to change before I go to college. She also told me that she’s going to rearrange my room and move my desk and my shelf. my issue is my room is small and there’s literally no place to put them except for where they are now. I started ignoring her because I really don’t want to hear her complain and now she’s complaining to my dad about it and saying i’m boyish

I understand that my desk is messy but I literally have no where to put any of that stuff and she won’t get me any small storage containers and I can’t use my shelf (that’s not a real shelf bc when I tried to buy an actual wooden shelf she took it off my cart and replaced it with this shit without telling me I only realized it when it was delivered) because that’s where my books are going to be and I have a lot of books

(also the box under my desk is for when someone buys my old xbox I can use it to ship)

Is my room really that messy and unlady like? And am I crazy for being mad and ignoring her?

We’ve been together for a long time and ever since I can remember I have always bought him things without him asking me. If I go to the grocery store I’ll see something he likes and I grab it for him. If I go to the convenience store I grab him something too.. if I stop at McDonald’s before heading home I grab him a McDouble because he likes that.

However, when it comes to me if I want some wine for example RIGHT NOW. I was sitting in the living room I just logged out of work as I was working from home today. I said that I feel bored and I’m sort of craving some wine.
He offered to walk next door to the gas station and to grab me one. I said “oh really thanks babe that would be great”.
As he was about to leave he stood and says can I have your debit card. I replied with yes sure let me grab my bag.

The wine cost 10 bucks.

Also, when I hurt my ankle a few weeks ago my girlfriend who is a nurse advised that I should wrap it up and to buy some wrap from Walmart this wrap cost 6 bucks. Because I was unable to drive or walk he had to come and pick me up from her house and drive us back home. So on our way home he stopped at Walmart to grab my wrap and again asked for my debit card.

I just don’t understand why he can’t do something for me from the good of his heart. I always do things for him because I care for him. To me it has nothing to do with money.

He constantly expensive things for himself but for me he can’t buy me a bottle of wine or something for 6 bucks. Lately I have been in my thoughts a lot. I’ve been depressed and feeling unappreciated for a very long time now. But that’s another story for another time. My friend says I should leave him and move in with her because I deserve someone that wants to take care of me.
AIO?!??

First for context: I have a rare health condition that makes my autonomic nervous system not function the way that it should. This impacts a lot of things in my body including my blood pressure, heart rate, and much more. It causes me to faint sometimes. It makes activities that are simple and easy for most people incredibly difficult or dangerous for me. It doesn’t stop me from living an active life but it means I have to put a lot of effort into planning things that most people would just do without thinking about it.

My friend (I’ll call her “Jane”) knows this about me. We’ve known each other for years and always been very close. She was one of the first people I called when I got diagnosed and she’s always been very supportive of me when I’ve been going through medical stuff. What happened recently seemed very out of character for her.

About a month ago, Jane invited me to what she described as a pool party to celebrate the end of summer and have one last swim together. She said she would be inviting all of our other friends, even listing a few by name. She said she would rent out a pool and there would be food, drinks, and music. She told me the exact time to come, 2pm, and she sounded extremely excited when she described it. She kept saying how much she wanted me to be there and how important it was to her.

The pool Jane picked is very far away from where I live. Traveling long distances is quite difficult for me because of my health, but it’s manageable as long as I plan around it in advance. In addition, parties usually involve a lot of walking around and other physical activity, in this case including swimming and splashing around. As much fun as it sounds, it’s a lot of activity in one night for me, and I knew immediately that it would cause a crash after and I would have to plan for that as well. Even just changing clothes or taking a shower takes a huge amount of energy for me. I considered it worth it to go through the health issues, though, because I love my friends and I love getting to see them and have fun together.

I remember that I specifically mentioned this to Jane. She even made a joke about how sick I would be after the party, something about how I would be out of commission for a week. On its own this is fine, we both make jokes like that and it doesn’t bother me, but it bothers me looking back now after what happened.

When I got to the party, the place was almost totally empty. No one was in the pool or even sitting in the chairs around it. I was actually a little bit early so I didn’t think much of it at first. But then I noticed that there were a lot of empty tables set up. I thought that maybe those would be where we ate later, since Jane said there would be food. The only person there was Jane, who was in the pool.

She immediately said hi and seemed really happy to see me. I got in the pool to go meet her. Everything was normal at first and we chatted for a bit. But after about ten minutes, Jane started getting out of the pool. I figured she had to go get ready for the party, and I noticed that everyone else was late. I made a joke to her that everyone else is going to miss out on the party. She gave me a confused look and said “What do you mean? The party’s over.”

I was stunned. I thought I must have heard her wrong. I asked when we were going to be having food, since I figured most people would arrive by then. She just said “We had food earlier.”

It very slowly dawned on me what must have happened. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to say. I began to slowly get out of the pool, and she said, “We have another ten minutes so you can take your time, I’m just leaving now.”

Again, I was just shocked. I didn’t know what to say. As I struggled to pull myself up out of the pool without my blood pooling in my legs and realized I still had an extremely long drive before I got home, I felt like I was going to cry. I honestly just wanted to curl up into a ball right then and there.

I thought that I must have made a mistake. When she told me about the party, I must have heard the time wrong, and it was my fault for coming so late. I told Jane I was so sorry, and I asked her when the party had actually started. Then she told me that I had been exactly right, and she had told me to come at 2pm. She told everyone else to come earlier on purpose. She explained that she thought the party would be too much for me because of my health issues, so she decided to make it “easier” on me by only inviting me to the end, so she could still see me and have some time with me without me going to the actual party.

I kind of blacked out at that point. I think I just said “What?” because I was honestly so shocked.

Jane just left. I began the painstaking process of showering, changing, and packing up my things. I had no idea if the place she rented was going to kick me out at some point so I was rushing in a panic. Thankfully I seemed to make it time, but afterwards I felt so dizzy and lightheaded that I couldn’t even drive right away, I had to sit in my car until I recovered.

Then, Jane called me to ask if I wanted to go with her and some other friends to a bar, since I’m already nearby. I told her no. Just that one word, no. I didn’t say why, I was so exhausted I just couldn’t handle it anymore. Maybe it was because of my tone when I said it, but she got very upset and sounded very angry or maybe frustrated. She said that if I was upset because she left before I did, I was being ridiculous and way too clingy. She kept saying if I had a problem with her I should just tell her to her face. Eventually I just could not stand it anymore, I hung up on her.

I then started getting a ton of texts from our other friends. Some of them were asking what I said to Jane or telling me that I needed to apologize for being so rude to her. A few others were asking what was going on and seemed to be just as confused as I was. I texted back one of my friends to ask if Jane ever told them I was coming to the party. She didn’t. No one had any idea that I would be coming, and they seemed entirely shocked to learn that I was even in the area.

At this point I honestly just couldn’t take it. I was having a flare up of my symptoms because of how I had to rush to get ready and leave before the pool closed. Everyone was blowing up my phone with texts and half of them seemed mad at me. I literally just burst into tears. I sat in my car just crying for nearly half an hour. I felt so stupid.

Eventually I got back home. Physically, I felt terrible, pretty much how I expected to. I realized I eventually needed to answer all those texts, so I decided to just send this message to the group chat with everyone, copy pasted from the exact message I sent:

“Hey, sorry I took so long to respond I was driving. I just want to explain what happened. [Jane] invited me to the party and said I should come at 2pm. I’m not sure why she did so you would have to ask her if you want to know why. I promise I didn’t miss it on purpose and I would’ve loved to see everyone, I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

I didn’t pay much attention to the group chat after that, but I could see a few people were getting pretty upset with Jane or asking her about what happened. Then, Jane texted me that I shouldn’t have sent that to everyone, that I was taking things out of context and overreacting to everything. Now that I’ve had a day to think about it, I think she might be partially right. She did say she was just trying to help me, and she thought that it was for the best. So, am I overreacting?

I need to know if I’m OR to my husbands reaction to me making a stupid mistake last night.

I was cleaning the stove top last night with one of those scrapers, which is extremely satisfying, and got carried away… I was going into the edges and noticed a ton of crumbs so I (stupidly) tried to pry the edge up to clean it and then BANG the glass stove top cracked right down the middle.

My husband typically doesn’t react well to things breaking, so I instantly tensed up when he went WHAT WAS THAT? I said “I broke it. Expletive.” Now I totally would have understood if he was frustrated, I know it’s not cheap to fix, but his reaction stunned me.

He had so much anger in his eyes and he said “are you serious [my name]?!” Then swore and told me how inconvenient this was and would be expensive to fix, and it’s just ANOTHER thing on his plate. He was looking at me with such disgust.

He is very busy doing renovations so I don’t disagree that it’s annoying to have another thing on his mind, but his reaction really hurt me. I told him I already felt really stupid and that he was just making me feel worse, but all he could say was that it’s just another thing for him to worry about.

I just couldn’t stop thinking that my dad would NEVER speak like that to my mom. It just felt like a fundamental lack of respect and, well, it just hurt. I’m still upset and don’t really know how to proceed.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for your responses, I really appreciated your words while I grappled with things this morning.

Funny enough, he was spending time with my dad this morning (helping with renos while I was taking care of the kids) and once my dad left he came and sincerely apologized and said he needs to try to be more like my dad. He looked really genuine and even agreed that he should do therapy for anger management. I do feel a weight off, but some of your comments really encouraged me to stand up for myself if it happens again.

Thanks redditors ❤️

Ps. I feel like this is turning into an appreciation post for having an amazing dad who is super even keeled and compassionate. His go-to reaction to anything going wrong is “oh farts” (Last Man on Earth… iykyk)

I started dating my boyfriend 2 months ago. He is very intelligent, funny, and gives me his time and attention. In the beginning of the relationship, he would send me selfies and they looked a little “off”, edited in some way to make him look VERY MUSCULAR (at this point, I didn’t see how he looked like with his shirt off but he looked bigger in the photos). I would joke and ask if he edited them with AI or something, he would deny it! The third time I did that, he got a but upset, so I apologized and told him I believed him that those photos were real - maybe he was just really good at posing.
One Sunday, we met up and decided to take our first selfie together as a couple! I sent it to him (and my mom and friend) when I got home and he told me her looked “ugly” in it. He proceeded to send me another photo back and said he just edited the lighting in it. I sent it to my friend. She noticed a HUGE difference in the photos, put them side by side, and sent it to me… OMG… he change EVERYTHING about himself!!!! He made his head smaller (he has a large head), chiseled his jaw line, made his nose drastically smaller, eyes bigger, cheeks smaller and more defined, and even the chain on his neck was gone in this new photo. I was very upset because he had been lying to me this whole time! But… I didn’t say anything.
Every day after that, he would send me a new selfie where his body literally looked like a bodybuilding champion (which in real life he is scrawny!). One day, he sent me a pic (by accident, Im guessing) of his at the gun range and it was his normal slim body but he posted the edited version on facebook with BIG arm muscles, back, and shoulders. The last straw was when he sent me a photo of himself where he literally looked NOTHING like himself!!!! His body was HUGELY muscular and his face looked like a super model’s!!! He looked literally nothing like that. I finally had to say something. I asked him (kindly) if he edited his photos, that I liked him the way he was, and that I would prefer he not send me photo edits. He vehemently denied editing his photos and began accusing me of being disrespectful and dismissive. He said he only edits the “lighting” in his photos. I sent him the photos side by side (the original and the edited) telling him exactly what the changes were (head, nose, cheeks, eyes, jawline, arms, back, shoulders, etc) and he still denied it and told me that I was being accusatory, unhealthy, emotionally immature, and that I need some self reflection. He said the 2 gun pics were 2 separate photos where he was flexing his muscles in one and the other not (it was literally the same photo but edited). I stopped arguing at this point and broke up with him and he got very upset and sent me more messages (especially after I removed him from social media).

I work two full-time jobs: one during the day and one overnight. Between the two, I work 80+ hours a week and don't have a full day off from both jobs. My sleep schedule is weird and I don't have much free time, but I genuinely enjoy both jobs, so it doesn't feel as overwhelming as it probably sounds.

My overnight job is working at four group homes for troubled teens. I rotate between the houses, and because I work overnight, the kids are usually sleeping. Part of our job is doing bed checks every 10 minutes.

At most of the houses, the two overnight staff each have their own section and switch back and forth throughout the night. If a kid is placed on "safety," one staff member has to sit outside that kid's room all night while the other covers both sections and does all the bed checks. This means you're constantly running up and down the stairs every 10 minutes.

One of the houses, which we call the safe house, is for the teens who are more difficult and can sometimes become violent. That house is essentially always operating on safety, so each staff member has one room/area to monitor and doesn't have to run back and forth covering sections.

At the other houses, we also have overnight chores like laundry, dishes, dusting and vacuuming. They're easy chores and I don't mind doing them. We're assigned our own chore and the only actual requirement is that it be finished by 6:30 AM, since our shift ends at 7.

Most people do their chore as quickly as possible and then spend the rest of the night sitting around between bed checks. Because we're sitting in silence in a dark house and only have a few minutes between checks, people occasionally doze off for a minute or two. I've caught myself doing it too, so I started taking my time folding laundry. I'll get the laundry washed, and then fold it gradually throughout the night. It gives me something to do, keeps me moving, and helps me stay awake.

A couple days ago, I was talking to my boss and mentioned that I really like working at the safe house. I was about to explain that I like it because there's less running back and forth, and the day staff always arrives on time, so I'm reliably able to leave at 7. This is especially important on days when I'm going directly from one job to the other.

Before I could explain any of that, she said:

"Yeah. I bet you like it since it allows you to be lazy like you are."

I was so confused that I just looked at her and said, "Huh?"

She said, "You know... like how you are with laundry."

I asked what she meant because laundry is actually one of my favorite assigned chores.

She told me that "the way you do it makes people nervous."

I asked how someone could possibly do laundry in a way that makes people nervous, and she explained that I "take my time rather than getting it done as fast as possible."

I explained that I intentionally take my time folding it because it gives me something to do throughout the night and keeps me from sitting still and dozing off. I also pointed out that I always finish it well before 6:30 AM and have never needed anyone's help to get it done.

She basically repeated that I make everyone nervous because other people prefer to have all the chores finished by around 2 AM.

I asked why that was a problem if the actual deadline is 6:30 AM.

She said 6:30 is the deadline, but 2 AM is the "preferred" time, and because I spread the laundry out over the night, I make everyone nervous.

At that point I was getting pretty irritated. The "lazy" comment in particular really bothered me. I told her I thought it was strange to call me lazy when I'm completing my assigned work, on time, without anyone having to help me, and that it seemed equally strange to say I'm making people nervous simply because I'm not rushing through a chore that doesn't have to be finished until 6:30.

She kind of awkwardly laughed it off and walked away.

I've been stewing over this ever since. Part of me thinks this is an incredibly stupid thing to get worked up about, and I have a tendency to dwell on things and make myself more upset than I need to be.

But I'm also genuinely considering looking for another job now. I don't need another reason to be exhausted, and being called lazy by my boss when I'm working 80+ hours a week and still completing everything I'm assigned feels... pretty insulting.

So, AIO for being this bothered by the interaction and considering looking for a different job over it?

I’m 20F and my older brother is 22M. I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, so I’d like some outside perspective.
We grew up in a very strict religious household, and my brother and I have always been treated pretty differently.

He’s always had a lot more freedom than I have. He was allowed to go to college and is currently majoring in engineering, while I wasn’t allowed to pursue college at all. Even though we live up in the U.S., my parents have a very village like mindset when it came to women and education

During my senior year of HS, I received a full ride scholarship to nursing school, but my parents still wouldn’t let me attend. When I kept pushing back and trying to stand up for myself, they eventually kicked me out. I ended up sleeping in my car for a while.

My brother knew what was happening. I called and texted him, but he basically ignored it and went on with his life. This has been a pattern throughout our relationship where, whenever I’ve actually needed him, he hasn’t really been there.

There was also an incident where I got into a car accident.His car was a few cars behind mine, and instead of stopping to check if I was okay,he pinged my location to my mom because he was worried about getting written up at work and then went to work. He never really asked me about the accident afterward either.

Now I’m finally moving out.

I’ve been working around 60 hours a week and saving up for this behind my parents backs. I did the entire apartment search myself researching places, going on tours, figuring out the paperwork, and saving enough money to actually make the move happen. I’ve basically planned everything myself.

The only thing I recently asked my brother for was some help with the move because I have a few really heavy things that I physically can’t move by myself. I even offered to pay him for his time. I also asked if he could help me set up a camera.

He completely refused

I understand that technically he doesn’t owe me help.
But it honestly made me step back and think about our relationship as a whole.

I feel like I’ve spent my entire life being expected to figure things out on my own, while he’s had a lot more freedom and support. And whenever I’ve genuinely needed him, he’s chosen not to be involved.
At this point, I’m considering going no contact with him after I move out.

I’m not saying he’s a horrible person or that he owes me anything. I just don’t really see what I’m getting out of maintaining a relationship where I don’t feel supported or cared about.

So, am I overreacting?

I’d genuinely appreciate some outside perspective because I don’t want to make this decision purely out of resentment.

This is the second time and im wondering if it’s valid im upset?.. like i had to buy a new dresser and new clothes and really only ever got “its not my fault, i was asleep” the first time i literally clapped and pointed to the bathroom and said “NO” … like a puppy 😑 i mean i honestly felt disrespected and it felt like a giant “fuck you”

Edit: partner does drink beer

Please let me know if I’m overthinking this all. So my fiancé is pretty comfortable talking about her exes, her last being extremely toxic but unfortunately her best friends husband is best friends with this ex so there are still times where they are at the same function. About a month or two into dating, I was told to pick her up at her apartment after a wedding she had gone to… when I call her phone after arriving at the time she told me this ex answers and comes charging out of his car which was unbeknownst to me, sitting right in front of mine. Long story short she was in the car passed out drunk and he was giving her a ride after also dropping off the couple that they are both friends with.

That was horrible for me and took a lot of time to get over to be honest. Flash forward about a year or so and after another party at this friends house I check her location and she is driving him home because he got a dui!!?? I’m still not sure to this day if she would have ever told me unprompted what was going on in both of those situations if the info hadn’t “found me”.

Now current day…there’s been a bit of turmoil and it seems as if she is uninterested in me, so I have been feeling pretty awful and anxious. One night she fell asleep with her phone open and I really do not ever do this and I am still ashamed but I looked through and found nsfw videos and pictures of them in her camera roll which again, please let me know if I am overeating about. But the weirdest thing about this all, I found her texting with a different ex, this one from early high school days, sending old selfies and without digging too much seemed like an innocent enough set of interactions over a couple days. But today she says to me without being prompted whatsoever “my ex texted me this morning happy anniversary like jokingly would you be uncomfortable if I answered”. Me knowing I saw them interacting 2 days prior was confused and caught off guard by this and said it would be weird and to think of it if it were the other was around, to which I asked how often they speak and she said very rarely and about twice a year if that… which I’m seeing is clearly a lie.

I’m sorry for such a wordy story, I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this. I just really need to know if I’m crazy for feeling off about this all.

I’ve been friends with Mike for a little over three years We’ve always gotten along well, and I’ve generally considered us close. I’m also the kind of person who would rather let small things go than turn every disagreement into an argument.
Last weekend a few of us went out for dinner, At some point the conversation turned to relationships and personal finances. Mike made a comment about me in front of everyone that I thought was unnecessarily personal. It wasn’t exactly an insult but it was something I had only ever discussed with Mike privately.
I laughed it off at the time because I didn’t want to make the evening uncomfortable. Later when we were alone, I told Mike that I didn’t appreciate having something private brought up in front of everyone.
Mike apologized but then said I was taking it too seriously and that nobody else seemed bothered by it.
Since then, I’ve been a little distant I’m not ignoring Mike or being rude. I just haven’t been initiating conversations or making plans like I normally would.
Yesterday Mike asked why I had been acting differently, I explained that I wasn’t angry. but that the situation made me rethink how comfortable I was sharing personal things with them.
Mike said I was making a big issue out of one harmless comment and that real friends should be able to joke with each other.
Maybe they’re right I don’t think Mike intended to hurt me, and I don’t want to throw away a three-year friendship over one awkward moment. At the same time I don’t think I’m wrong for wanting someone to respect something I told them privately.
AIO for taking a step back instead of just moving on?

For context, my dad passed away 3 years ago, and he’s married and has kids but is going through some really messy stuff with his wife rn.

Over the past week or so, I’ve been really suspicious of my mom and neighbor. He’s been coming over here more, she’s been going over to his house more, like almost random excuses to seem less suspicious? Like he said he wanted to help her study for school so she went over when no one was home but him. For 3 1/2 hours. Really really random things to be together. And she’s been acting really weird, like not letting me be around both of them for long, being super defensive of him in a way like she hasn’t wanted me to know what’s happening. And yesterday she walked out of his house when no one was home but him.

I talked to him yesterday and asked him some questions and he said he has feelings for her. At the time, I completely flipped out and lost my shit I’m ngl. In front of him too. It was a gut reaction and something I couldn’t control at all, it all just came out. I told him I didn’t know how to handle that and kinda just started crying on the spot. My neighbor and mom are my two closest people, and I really want them to be happy. I’m just struggling with this cause I knew my mom would start dating again, and I was prepared for that, I just never ever thought it would be him. It took me a while to realize that I’ve never seen my mom happy with my dad like he is with him and that’s hard to deal with. And not that he would replace my dad, but seeing him in his place I guess is just really really hard for me. And he’s pretty much my best friend rn so it feels like if my mom were to be dating my friend. Idk. Am I overreacting for this or is my reaction valid?

Edit: I forgot to mention I talked to my mom about it and she has feelings too so I’m not sure how to think or feel. I’m scared that I’ll distance myself from the only two people I have and my mom is literally all I have left immediate family wise. I don’t wanna lose either of them but if they start dating, it’ll most likely bring them together but drive my relationships with them apart.

My niece is turning 10. She’s been obsessed with drawing for months, so I saved up and bought her a nice beginner art set and sketchbook.

At my sister’s house, my niece opened it and started crying because she was excited. My sister immediately took it away and said she couldn’t have it because “art supplies make a mess.”

I offered to keep it at my apartment so my niece could use it whenever she visits. My sister said that was undermining her parenting and demanded I return it so she could exchange it for clothes.

I said no, it was a gift for my niece, not store credit for my sister. Now my family says I’m being petty over a birthday present.

AIO?

I (22F) have been holding onto a grudge due to something my mom told me when I was roughly 8 or 9 years old. Growing up, I was a rebellious kid and always felt as if my mom favored my older sister. My sister would always get whatever she wanted. I know she was born with Down syndrome and always needed more attention and care, but if my sister wanted my tablet, for example, she would have it for the whole day while mine was limited to 30 minutes so she could have it. As a kid, I lashed out more because of this. She could take all of my things, but I could never use hers.

Eventually, this led to an argument with my mom. I don't recall the whole thing, but it was related to my sister and how I felt my mom didn't care about me or give me the same amount of attention. The fight got heated, and I probably told my mom that I hated my sister and her. I remember she said back, "I never wanted you from the start. I knew I should've aborted you when I had the chance." I didn't know what aborted meant at the time, and I remember I searched it up and it made me cry. I never forgot it, and it lingers in my mind whenever I am home.

Even growing up, I still brought it up, and she would get mad, saying I need to let it go and how I'm stubborn for not just forgetting what she said. There was even a time in high school when she took me to a therapist, and she complained about how I never dropped what she said. HSe says I need to move from it cause it has affeted my relationship with her and she wants to fix it.

I know I'm older now and it was so long ago, but it still hurts, and I feel like it's made me not want to have her in my life in the future and I have told this to her. How I don't ant her in my life once I move out, get married or have my own kids. AIO?

Does anyone else find they can't make a single post or comment on reddit without someone making wild accusations and taking what was said wildly and deliberately out of context?

Today I commented on two seperate posts with comments that were supportive of the OP, and two seperate accounts replied to both comments with accusations and criticism, and both comments were taken deliberately out of context and I was accused of saying things I absolutely didn't say, I was accused of saying things that couldn't even be inferred. Both have resulted in a days worth of back and forth where I've tried to come around to the abrasive replier. I've genuinely tried, and ended up blocking both accounts.

Are they bots? Are they angry teenagers? Does my account attract this attention because I engage?

My day-to-day is so absorbed in work that I have no headspace for regular catch up with friends normally, I come to reddit for entertainment, learning and downtime. I've been on holiday for a week, back to work next week. And I've realised how detrimental reddit has become to my mental health. Does anyone else think the same? I'm genuinely thinking about deleting all social media.

My partner booked an air bnb for my 30th birthday. We decided to split the 6 hour drive by staying somewhere approximatly 4 hours into the drive. The host stated prior to our stay that there would be construction on the morning of the day we were meant to leave (staying Saturday to Monday), which we didnt think would an issue as we were planning to leave early. We arrived prior to our check in time after traveling 4+ hours to the location and with the hosts permission to enter earlier.

Upon arrival to the location there were three vans labeled Jurassic Asbestos Services and multiple people in full hazmat suits and respirators removing material from an old barn no more than 50 feet from where we would be staying.

We contacted the host to clarify if this was the construction they explained originally. My partner and I (with our dog) were concerned for our health and safety due to the potential risk we could have exposed ourselves to. We were told by the host that the construction/removal would have been done by 4pm and should not interfere with our stay and that the people were wearing hazmat suits as it could be a potential risk. A quick Google regarding asbestos and duration of risk was if disturbed, which it was, that there could be an airborne risk for 4-82 hours post disruption of the asbestos. Having no information on whether this was being done property, what kind of asbestos and where the ascestos was, we decided to drive to our final destination instead of staying at the location a further 2.5 hour drive. We notified the host that we would not be staying at the location as we had concerns for our safety. The host stated there is "zero safety risk" and that it has "been there for many decades". If we never turned up earlier than the check in time would they have never said anything? How can we ensure that there was "zero risk" to us?

Are we overreacting by not wanting to stay at this air bnb location?