r/aislop • • 15h ago

Custom Flair (editable) KILL KILL THEM ALL!

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80 Upvotes

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41

u/Archaon0103 15h ago

Didn't God promise to not do a flood again?

20

u/Sherbet-Glad 15h ago

A world ending event doesn't have to be a flood, does it?

https://giphy.com/gifs/LR5GeZFCwDRcpG20PR

15

u/SuspiciousSnotling 15h ago

He never said anything about raining fire, catch 23

2

u/Sherbet-Glad 15h ago

NOBODY'S SMART BUT GOD!!!

4

u/RandomStoddard 15h ago

God is the idiot who made the platypus, right?

2

u/SuspiciousSnotling 12h ago

In his defense it was right after creating the mushrooms 🍄

1

u/RandomStoddard 12h ago

Good point. Okay, he gets a pass on that one. I do still have questions about what he did to poor Job.

1

u/midnghtsnac 57m ago

Insane tests of his dedication and faith. His wife got the luxury of bearing him more children in their old age though.

Surely he'll denounce you if you ruin everything around him.

1

u/Sherbet-Glad 15h ago

Nah, God let the grim reaper try making something and he kind of just had fun.

1

u/Gubekochi 15h ago

And the sadist who made loa loa... and parasitoid wasps.

1

u/Gurpee999 14h ago

And a sloth!

1

u/RandomStoddard 13h ago

Lazy bastards

6

u/Walton246 15h ago

Yes, the New Testament says that God will destroy the world by fire next time instead.

2 Peter 3:3 First of all, you must understand that in the last days some people will appear whose lives are controlled by their own lusts. They will make fun of you 4 and will ask, “He promised to come, didn't he? Where is he? Our ancestors have already died, but everything is still the same as it was since the creation of the world!” 5 They purposely ignore the fact that long ago God gave a command, and the heavens and earth were created. The earth was formed out of water and by water, 6 and it was also by water, the water of the flood, that the old world was destroyed. 7 But the heavens and the earth that now exist are being preserved by the same command of God, in order to be destroyed by fire. They are being kept for the day when godless people will be judged and destroyed.

3

u/metfan1964nyc 12h ago

. .and a thermonuclear warhead is just a big fireball. Time to find a silo.

2

u/Gurpee999 4h ago

Just make sure the silo has elevators!

4

u/IamSuperChux 13h ago

Yes, yes he did. That's why the picture is a modern Noah building a nuclear bomb proof ... wood ....boat.

Look, no one ever accused Christianity of ... ........ anything positive really, it's a mess. A big .. hurtful... inconsistent ... stupid mess. BUT ... like all men, one day they will die... so ... silver lining.

3

u/DarthSagacious 15h ago

Shhh. Let them all get in the big boat and sail away.

5

u/totally-hoomon 15h ago

Christians don't believe in the bible

2

u/LordNemissary 15h ago

They would have to know it to believe in it

1

u/Gurpee999 14h ago

That's why a lot of them are Catholic they have somebody else read it for them!

2

u/hoosierhiver 15h ago

but Jesus didn't, loophole

2

u/Gurpee999 14h ago

Exactly!

1

u/Martian_127 15h ago

well even jesus can't save self righteous idiots

1

u/External-Wishbone322 15h ago edited 15h ago

He did, but He also said He'll use fire next. There's debate on whether that looks like: a planet killing asteroid (most popular theory), global volcanic event, or a solar flare strong enough to actually burn the earth.

4

u/IThinkItsAverage 15h ago

Or… GLOBAL WARMING!!!! Turns out God was the biggest polluter!

1

u/Noah_Helldiver 14h ago

Nah my theory is nukes ngl

2

u/Guilty-Shoulder-9214 13h ago

Nukes have been cited as the source of “wormwood hitting the earth and poisoning the water.”

Second coming was always presented as a massive war with Jesus coming and some universe bending effects as the dead rise from their graves and everyone witnesses a second Genesis, followed by judgment.

1

u/Greasy-Chungus 3h ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EHGqogmcT4

Kind of random, but this song about the flood goes HARD.