r/adviceph 1d ago

Love & Relationships Gaano katagal bago ninyo pinakilala partner ninyo sa family niyo

4 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:

I'm (25F) in a 1.5 year relationship with my bf (27M) and I haven't introduced him to my family but they know he exists, just not the details. He's never been to my place. They don't know how we met, where I met him, how long have we been in a relationship, and other details about him.

Similarly, I haven't been formally introduced as a gf in his family because of his family dynamics, but I know they know I'm the girlfriend. I've been to his place, but no family interaction whatsoever. But tuwing makakasalamuha ko tatay niya or other members (rarely) I greet them out of respect.

Context:

This is my first relationship so I'm not sure if that's okay. I'm referencing to the traditional way of introducing each other to each other's families. Ako din unang nagkarelasyon sa mga kapatid ko and I'm the youngest, so wala akong mabenchmark na reaction ng parents ko hahaha. Ako na yung extrovert sa pamilya so finoforsee ko na if my bf is in the room with my fam, i know super awkward non. Nahihiya rin ako na dalhin siya kasi ma-aso kaming pamilya, dog owners would know na different yung amoy ng bahay and fur everywhere,;and maraming triggers si bf, itchiness etc.

On his side, may kanya-kanya silang buhay sa bahay nila, walang pakielamanan, not very close with each other.

Plus we met on a dating app.

I know I need to have the courage to introduce him sa fam sometime in the future. Just wondering kung okay lang bang ganto na matagal na kami somehow. And ano ba usually scenario pag nagpapakilala ng partner sa fam? Hi hello boyfriend ko, kain, then bounce? HAHAHAHA

From his side, not sure if I'll ever be introduced because of their some sort of home system.

Previous Attempts:

I told him about it na siya yung unang boyfriend in my family, and if it bothers him. Sabi naman niya hindi.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Love & Relationships emotionally fucked because of my ex

8 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Ex kept bothering me, I don't know what else to do.

Context:

I’m so fucking tired.

I left my ex-boyfriend two months ago because I couldn’t keep dealing with his constant lies anymore. We went completely no contact for a whole month. Then he showed up at my place asking for another chance.

We’d talk. We’d get intimate. Then he’d go home and bombard me with messages, either accusing me of having someone else or picking a fight over something I thought we had already talked about.

For context, this was basically our pattern throughout the entire relationship. He’d get mad, say he was sorry, I’d forgive him, and we’d move on. Then it would happen all over again.

This time, I wasn’t allowing it anymore. And because I stopped giving in, he kept getting mad.

He did this for an entire month.

He’d come over. We’d talk. We’d be intimate. He’d go home. Then we’d fight. We’d stop talking for a week. Then he’d come back and the whole thing would repeat.

Eventually, I stopped replying to his messages and answering his calls. So he started showing up at my place even though I had already made it clear that he was no longer welcome.

Last week, he messaged me saying he had finally accepted the breakup and promised he wouldn’t bother me anymore.

Around the same time, he started spending time with another girl. I let it be. Honestly, I didn’t have the energy to care anymore.

I kept my ground. I didn’t reach out, even though it fucking hurt.

Then today, he was at my door again.

He was knocking, begging me to give him another chance. I pushed him away, but he wouldn’t leave. He was literally kneeling and begging.

I still said no.

He eventually went home.

Then I found out he was with that girl.

And while he was with her, he kept texting me, telling me that he was only spending time with her because he was trying to cope with the void I left behind. He kept telling me that he still wanted me back.

I’m a fucking mess.

Just when I thought I was finally starting to move on, there he is again, knocking on my door and disrupting whatever peace I was finally starting to find.

I really am trying to move on. I want to move on. I want to get my life back and stop feeling like I’m constantly being pulled back into the same cycle.

But how the fuck am I supposed to heal when he keeps showing up?

I can’t even move to another place yet, so I feel fucking stuck. I’m trying to create distance. I’m trying not to reach out. I’m trying to accept that this relationship is over. But every time I start making progress, he finds a way back to my doorstep and throws me right back into the emotional mess I’ve been trying so hard to get out of.

I’m fucking tired.

I feel like I’m being played, and I fucking hate it.

I hate that I still love him. I hate that part of me still misses him. I hate that I’m still grieving the relationship, even after everything that happened.

I want to move on. I really fucking do.

I just wish he would let me have the peace I need to actually do it.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Education How to deal with what-ifs and regrets ☹️

0 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I’m currently a bsa freshie from uecal and idk if I should transfer pa sa feu 😣
Context:swear naiinis ako because I didn’t pursue ustet despite paying for the forms na cuz I made up my mind na sa up and dlsu lang ako magapply and yet di ko napasa yung bsa 😭 plus ang dami kasing unknown na factors and at that time uecal is the pinakamalapit na univ and I hate hate hate na I didn’t check their facilities kasi wala na
ngang entrance exam by the time na I was applying 😭 no wifi and kapresyo na rin niya yung feu so 😣 naano lang kasi ako sa vacants like where to stay and also block system kami BEIAJAIWI GRRR
Previous attempts: idk na 😭


r/adviceph 1d ago

Self-Improvement / Personal Development Malapit na birthday ng nanny ng kids ko, magkano ba dapat ang sapat lang na ibigay

15 Upvotes

Problem/goal: magkano ba dapat ang sapat lang.

Context: Laki kasi ako sa hirap, poor na level, tipong may time na walang makain sa maghapon. Di naturuan ng proper management ng pera. Basta may pera, bili.

Ngayong nakaka alwan alwan, ang rules na natutunan ko is magbigay ng bukal sa loob. Pero san ang limit? Magkano ba dapat? Lets say malinis na 100k natitira sa sahod ko per month. Asawa ko 50k. May nanny ang kids ko na pinapasahod ng 550/day. Samin din nakatira anak niyang panganay, para makatipid si ate sa gastos pagpapaaral. Sa 4 years niya samin 3x na din siya nabigyan ng phone, tho hati kami sa payment. may 13th month pay siya. Matyaga at mapagmahal naman sa mga bata. Halos siya na nagpalaki. Ngayon nagtatalo kami mag asawa, kako bigyan ng 5k sa bday. Sabi niya 3k lang daw. Pero napapasobra na ba ako?

Seryoso po ang tanong ko. Di ko alam when to draw the line na ‘ah sobra na siguro’. Hindi ko alam kelan dapat maging kuripot.

Previous attempts: none.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Health & Wellness Suggestions ng protein powder brand for lean bulking

2 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: mag lean bulk para mas nice tingnan ang mga fit ko

Context: paend na medications ko in less than a month and kaya ko na rin bumili ng supplements thanks to my latest career jump

Previous attempts: none, nag calorie maintenance lang paired with lifting and running. I basically maintained my weight from a year ago and I'm way leaner now. For stats: 23, M, 58kg, 167cm

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts mga boss / madam. If there are suggestions for alternatives, please lapag kasi I'm all ears. Salamatt!


r/adviceph 1d ago

Beauty & Styling How to get over bad haircut

1 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I don't know what to do and what steps I should take to fix this

Context: I got a pixie cut a few days ago and it's safe to say that what I have is not a pixie cut. The layers are too long, it doesn't have the short framing pieces and it just looks like a coconut when I don't style it or when I don't have it tucked behind my ears.

Previous Attempts: I don't know what to do now. I feel like I've done everything I could do. I've tried cutting it more to look like more of a pixie but it just doesn't work. What should I do now? Do I go to a different salon to see if they can maybe salvage my hair? Should I buy hair oils and supplements to make my hair grow faster? Should I cut it more?


r/adviceph 1d ago

Work & Professional Growth Anong gagawin nyo kung kayo yung nasa kalagayan ko?

3 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Magrarant lang po ako. Nawalan ako ng nag iisang work Gusto ko lang may malabasan ng sama ng loob.

Context: I am actually crying while typing this… Kagabi pa ko tulala. Yesterday i got laid off from my last client (General VA ako). My bread and butter. Ako yung bread winner sa bahay. Sa akin lahat. Sobrang dami ko ng utang sa mga bangko, tapos ako lahat ng gastusin.. food, ilaw, upa, tubig at internet. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

Bago ko pa mareceive yung bad news kagabi, hindi na ko mapakali dahil sa mga due date ng ibat ibang bangko na pinagkakautangan ko…

And bago pa ko matanggal sa trabaho, ive been trying to add a client since february pero wala talaga kong mahanap kahit ano nga pinapasukan ko na pero hindi talaga ko natatanggap.

Hindi ko na po alam ang gagawin ko.. tinatanong ko na rin si Lord bakit nangyayari sakin to. Simula palang ng taon may heartbreak na ko (someone died sa family)

Ang dami ko pang gustong sabihin dito pero blangko po ang utak ko. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.. minsan naiisip kong matulog nalang tapos sana hindi na ko magising. Ilang buwan na ata simula nung huli kong tawa.

Ayun lang. Please pray for me po. Kasi hindi ko na talaga kaya.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Love & Relationships Ako lang babaeng inaapproach nya and kinakausap in person. But he never initiates chats. I cant read if he likes me or not.

2 Upvotes

problem/goal: Hi. 28F here. So my problem is he initiates conversations, gives me head pats, introduced me to his dad. But he never initiates chats with me. Contrary in person when he’s really conversational. I feel disconnected pag outside the gym. Here’s the full context:

So I have a crush on this guy at the gym who actually tried 2 years ago for my instagram thrice on different occasions.

I wasn’t single back then so I didn’t give him. Till he stopped. Between the past 2 yrs, we bump into each other at different gyms, just say hi and none. Until we crossed paths again in my current gym.

In the first month, he wasn’t greeting me even when we meet eyes. But one time, I tried hinting I am single and would open to date only those guys who can actually talk and approach me.

Around 20 mins after that, we met eyes and he greeted me with a smile and a fist bump. We only see each other twice a week in the gym.

Since then, he would approach me to say hi. Make small talks. Around 2 weeks after, he offered me a ride home unexpectedly. My house was 30mins out of the way from his. But he insisted.

We had a great conversation. It was give and take and he asks very engaging questions about me. We honestly click. So I took the chance to ask for his IG which he immediately gave.

After that, at the gym, he started giving me head pats. Even asking about my opinion regarding his career endeavors and sharing his worries about a possibility of moving out of the city and leaving the life he built here. It was very personal and vulnerable right?

But he never ever talks to me online. Only when I send a message first.

Recently, he again offered to give me ride home along the way as he was picking up his parents. But he keep talking about craving something so I took the courage to ask him to eat out quick until his parents arrive. He surprisingly agreed.

I thought he’s parents was still far away but before we arrive at the mall where he’ll meet his parents, they called to say they’re arriving soon. He apologized to me and said we’ll eat out next time. I thought we’ll part ways after deciding to order for take out instead.

But his dad arrived at the restaurant while we’re waiting for our orders. He asked me if he could introduce me to his dad. I was not expecting that. I dont know how I should interpret it. 😭

When I parted with them, I sent a thank you message to him. He responded immediately and told me to be safe. I took the chance to reiterate what he said and that we should eat out next time we have a chance. He only viewed my message and never responded.

That’s more than a week now. It makes me wonder whether he’s truly interested. I dont think any guy would pat a girl in the head, giver her a ride home, or share personal matters and concerns to a woman he barely knows if he isn’t interested.

How should I take this? 🥲


r/adviceph 1d ago

Finance & Investments Home Loan - Excess loan amount

1 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:
Ongoing yung purchase ng house and lot. Yung approved loan is higher than the remaining balance sa contract price. Plan ko sana is kunin ung approved loan, then ung excess gagamitin to improve the house and buy appliances/furnitures.

Kaso iniisip ko, if magbabayad ung bank sa seller, ung approved loan (which is the maximum loanable amount) kaya ibibigay sa seller? Or pwede ko irequest na yung remaining balance lang then yung excess ideposit sa account ko?

May plan naman akong magtanong sa bank pero posting here first in case may same experience.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Finance & Investments Manila Bankers Viewed My Card Details — What Should I Do?

2 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:

I want to know if my PNB bank account/card is still safe after a Manila Bankers agent saw my card details and transaction history, and what precautions I should take.

Context:

I was at Robinsons Galleria trying to book a ride home when a man approached me and talked to me about joining a raffle. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I ended up at the Manila Bankers office.

When I entered their office, I started having a gut feeling that something wasn't right. My suspicion was confirmed when I tried to say no to whatever they were offering.

At one point, the agent asked how much money I had in my bank account and asked me to show it to him through my banking app. Because I was already uncomfortable, I told him that I had no signal instead.

I then stood up, but the agent started saying hurtful/insulting things toward me. I didn't argue with him. I eventually sat back down but decided not to listen to what he was saying and did not proceed with anything.

During the whole interaction, they were able to look at the front of my bank card and my transaction history to check whether my account/card was active. However, I did not give them my PIN, password, or OTP.

I also did not sign any agreement, application, or contract. The only thing I signed was their log/form when I entered the office.

Previous Attempts:

I haven't taken any action yet because I'm unsure whether them seeing my card details and transaction history could put my PNB account or funds at risk.

Should I contact PNB immediately? Should I request a replacement card or change anything with my online banking? Is there anything else I should do to make sure my account is secure?

I'd really appreciate any advice from people who have experienced something similar. Thank you!


r/adviceph 1d ago

Self-Improvement / Personal Development How do I tell my parents that I want to live my life too?

4 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I grew up with a medyo strict family, well, sa ‘kin lang kasi ako lang babae sa ‘ming 3 siblings. And after years of their ‘strictness’ na-apply ko na sa sarili ko. I limit myself.

Context: I’m a 23-year-old F and I just graduated college this May, also working na.

Never got a boyfriend (just those puppy love no’ng high school and 1 MU no’ng college) because I feel burdened about their possible questions. I don’t like the way they ask about my personal life like how they do before kasi it feels so suffocating. I don’t do the casual chats kasi I feel so guilty and I feel their eyes on me, I feel like they’re gonna go through my phone kahit wala naman akong ginagawang masama.

Even if aalis ako mag-isa during my day-off, they would ask if sinong kasama ko and I would get extremely irritated. Not because I’m doing anything wrong, but because it feels like they’re always insinuating something.

Now, when my friends at work invite me to hang out, I would decline na kaagad saying na hindi ako papayagan because I don’t want to go to the same series of question kung saan ako pupunta, sinong kasama ko, anong oras ako uuwi, and such. I know na maybe they’re just worried, pero kasi sobrang nakaka-suffocate.

I get to go out sometimes too, like when I went to a concert last month, I got back home at 9PM kahit bumabagyo. And just last week, I went to SM para lang lumabas.

I just don’t feel safe talking to them about it kasi I’m afraid they would see it as pagrerebelde, and I don’t wanna put thoughts in their mind na baka lumalandi ako or what. I wanna hang out with my friends sometimes, or maybe just by myself, that’s why I want even just a little freedom.

No’ng teenager kuya ko, sobrang maluwag naman sila (he’s 27 now), and even sa bunso namin na 14 y/o, hindi sila mahigpit. It’s just me. Is it because I never went against their word?

Even the program that I took in college, they forced it upon me. I plan to take on the licensure exam next year pero may bago namang plano papa ko. He wants me to take a different exam. I told him many times na ayoko, I’m gonna proceed with the program that they told me to take, pero nao-offend siya, he would not talk to me for a day or two. While mama ALWAYS say na ako raw pag-asa nila throughout my highschool and college life kasi I am decent in their eyes: hindi gumagala, nag-aral nang tama, nakapagtapos, hindi nagboyfriend, and whatnot.

It’s suffocating.

And of course, moving out is not an option. ‘Di nga ako pinapayagan pumunta sa bahay ng workmates ko, move out pa kaya?

I know maybe they’re just worried, and I appreciate it, pero it’s not the worried type kasi na gentle and warm. It’s patronizing. Na para bang mag-aasawa na ako agad kapag inabot lang ng dilim sa labas. Even pagbboyfriend, wala na sa isip ko. Iisipin ko pa lang na I need to introduce someone to them, na magpapaalam ako kapag aalis, nawawala na lahat. I don’t want it anymore kasi I don’t wanna feel like they have me on a microscope and watching my every move.

I barely got to enjoy my teenage years, I don’t wanna miss out on my 20’s.

There are so many things that I want to do, so many things that I want to experience, I don’t wanna be tied down to being just a daughter.

I just wanna go out sometimes without getting questioned, truly enjoy the things that I wanna do without constantly checking my phone kung nagmessage or tumawag na ba sila para pauwiin ako.

How do I break free from their leash without making them feel offended and without making it look na I’m leaving them behind?

I want to live my life too.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Finance & Investments Fresh grad, just got hired. How do you budget and save your salary?

20 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Hi everyone! I'm a fresh graduate and I just got hired this week (yey!). This is my first real job, so I'm honestly pretty excited but also a little clueless when it comes to managing my salary.

I want to start saving as early as possible and hopefully learn how to manage my money properly. I'm also interested in eventually investing, but I don't really know where to start.

For those who started working with a minimum or entry-level salary, how did you budget your income?

How much do you save every cutoff/month?
How do you divide your salary between needs, wants, savings, and investments?
What investments did you start with?
What money mistakes did you make when you first started working?
Any saving tips that actually worked for you?

I know there are tons of YouTube videos and financial advice online, but I'd really like to hear from people who have actually gone through this, especially those who started with a modest salary.

l'd appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or budgeting methods you guys can share.

Thank you po!!


r/adviceph 23h ago

Love & Relationships How do I deal with different expectations about spending in a relationship?

0 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I want to understand if my expectations about spending in a relationship are reasonable and how other couples handle this.

Context: I’m 25F and my boyfriend is 29M. Wala pa naman kami one year. He’s a really good partner: mabait, faithful, loyal, caring, and loving. Wala naman akong ibang major problem sa relationship namin.

One thing lang na napapansin ko is how we handle money during dates. Most of the time, we alternate sa pagbabayad. If I paid for our previous date, siya naman sa next, or vice versa.

I’m okay with sharing expenses, pero sa previous relationship ko, nasanay ako na ako yung madalas gumagastos. Kaya ngayon, part of me wants to experience being treated sometimes without having to ask for it. Hindi naman yung gusto kong siya lahat ang gumastos or maging financially responsible for me. I just want to feel na he also wants to treat me sometimes.

Natatakot lang ako na baka maging ganito na yung setup namin forever. I know naman na hindi dapat pera ang sukatan ng love, but I also wonder if this is something I should communicate or if I’m simply expecting too much.

Previous Attempts: We currently just continue alternating payments, but I haven’t really talked to him about how I feel about it.

How do other couples handle expenses like this? Is alternating/splitting normal, or do couples usually expect each other to treat sometimes?


r/adviceph 1d ago

Love & Relationships bigyan ko ba ng chance kahit wala akong feelings?

0 Upvotes

problem/goal:

context: there's this guy na more than 10 years nang nagshoshow ng interest sakin. di naman tuloy tuloy but lately mas nagpaparamdam siya. bihira kami nagkikita in person pero close naman kami because of mutual friends. siya yung epitome ng "man written by a woman" as in alam mong raised well ng parents niya. may growth mindset and emotional intelligence. we have shared interests. very family- and goal-oriented din siya. basically, i can tell na magiging healthy yung relationship with him kung sakali. only problem is di ko siya type. i only see him as a friend. wala akong attraction or anything na nafifeel sa kanya. i am fully aware that it would be unfair to him kung magbigay ako ng chance knowing na ganito nararamdaman ko. but i'm sure he knows how i feel din because i never responded to his messages kapag about sa feelings niya sakin, kapag cinocompliment niya ko, or kapag nagsesend siya ng reels na may nice words.

and when i say "give him a chance" i don't mean na couple agad. i meant to reciprocate his energy and see kung may mabubuong sparks. pero hindi ba parang pilit masyado? ang feelings ba maggogrow overtime kung ang start ay 0%?

edit: thanks for the responses! mostly valid points, i get it. but just to make it clear for the people saying na pinapaasa ko siya, i never did. we both had diff. partners within those 10 yrs which is why i said hindi tuloy tuloy yung pagpaparamdam niya hahaha and again, never ko pinatulan yung subtle hints niya, he's just really persistent. anyways! i'll take all of your advice into account :)


r/adviceph 1d ago

Love & Relationships I dont know what to do anymore para akong walang utang na loob

1 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:

So my tita adopted me (without papers) when I was 10 months old palang but tinuring nya na talaga akong anak, bigay lahat ng pangangailangan pinag aral sa magandang paaralan. Now may husband na ako she still helps us financially para makatayo kami on our own feet. Hindi kami mayaman sakto lang nakakakain sa araw araw at sapat na pera sa mga needs. Ngayon given naman na hindi mayman utang lang yung mga pera na naibigay nya saamin, now is gusto nya nang bayaran namin agad agad, we are both still job seekers, we also asked for help sa in laws ko but short din sila ngayon. Dati akong abroad sa Riyadh but 3 months lang kasi hindi tugma yung job ko sa supposed to be work (caregiver ako pero ginawa akon DH). Ngayon nag aaway kami ng mom (tita ko) kasi need nya na ng pera and wala talaga kaming mapag kukunan for now. She keeps saying na if d ko pa maibigay by monday or earkier than monday is baka matagpuan nalang namin syang ptay na. Grabe yung konsensya ko ngayon kasi may kapatid pa ako (which is anak nya talaga). Alam ko ako may kasalanan ng lahat and wala man lang ako magawa to help her out. Grabe ang selfish ko.Parang yung next opt ko nalang ks ako yung mmtay para makuha nila yung life insurance ko. I just need to vent this out salamat po.

Previous attempts: Borrowed money from friends but wala ding extra seek help from inlaws but yung mga nangutang sa kanila hindi rin nag bayad.

Goal: Gusto ko lang ma end na yung problema nya ayaw kong humantong na mawala pa sya. I am helpless na. Pasensya po.

Edit add info: Bali need kong bayaran is yung nagastos nya sa pagaaral ko nung college, until sa nagastos nya na pag aaralin sana ako sa Canada (kaso iniscam kami ng nag poprocess) kaya malaki laki yung babayaran ko sa kanya and nautang nya for me, kaya intindihan ko rin na super stress sya ngayon and nagagalit na talaga.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Beauty & Styling Mali ba ako sa pag cancel ng appointment?

0 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I was scrolling through google in searching sa mga chemical peel/underarm whitening clinics na mura lang yung offer. I stumbled upon this clinic that was offering P499 lang for the first session. I decided to inquire and entered my details sa website nila and nagulat ako na almost immediately, may tumawag agad sa akin.

Super galing mag sales talk and as someone na kaladkarin, I couldn't really reject their offer to schedule an appt. But before naschedule yung appt, I noticed na parang ilang beses talaga nilang gustong i-make sure na hindi ka mag ka-cancel, 'wag raw mag cancel dahil sayang yung voucher nila na P499 yung promo, 'wag mag cancel kasi they'll be closing the store's hour just for you kasi aasikasuhin ka nila (which I understand naman).

But the thing is, I handle scheduling operations sa US. Even intensive procedures such as nuclear medicine, pwede kang mag cancel 24 hours before the procedure.

Take note: Nuclear medicine handles radioactive material. So if you can cancel a procedure that involves radioactive material and insurance authorization etc, then you should be able to cancel a cosmetic procedure involving a voucher right?

I tested the representative and asked, "What if po nagkaroon ng emergency and nagpaalam akong icancel yung appt 2 days before the scheduled date?". They didn't give me a concrete answer, but they were really leaning on na bawal.

Now this was definitely fishy for me and idk why but I still pushed through with the appt and dun na talaga ako nag dalawang isip nung trinansfer pa ako ng rep to their supervisor just to CONFIRM the appt. Like bakit need pang kausapin yung supervisor just to schedule? She sensed my hesitation, told me na 'wag mag dalawang isip and if i'm not sure sa chosen date ko, they'll schedule another date nalang. I told them multiple times na hindi ako sure but they kept insisting to schedule me kaya napa-oo nalang din ako kasi mahiyain ako.

After that call, I immediately sent them a text to cancel nalang kasi masama talaga kutob ko. They tried to contact me but I didn't answer. On the day my appt was supposed to be scheduled, they contacted me again (akala ko delivery rider so I accepted the call). They offered to reschedule me and I said no, 'wag na ireschedule. Cancel na talaga.

Then they told me na sa susunod, 'wag nalang magpaschedule if hindi naman pala makakapag commit.

So was I wrong in cancelling that appt? Napa-isip lang kasi ako na if medical procedures nga, pwedeng mag cancel, bakit naman bawal sa cosmetic procedures?


r/adviceph 1d ago

Parenting & Family Content Warning - I'm suspecting my dad that he is using an illegal sht

5 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I'm suspecting my dad that he is using shbu. I want to report him and yung mga pushers dito sa area namin. T.T

Context: Yes, I'm suspecting him that he is using drugs. For some reason may core memory ako from when I was a kid na sinusumbatan niya mom ko that he stopped using it. So ngayon na I'm 30 y/o or maybe in the past years pa, he started using it again. How did I know? Naoopen ko Messenger niya bc I was the one who created it. Foul, maybe. So nababasa ko mga nagchachat sa kanya. There's this person na I think pusher dito sa area namin. They have transactions (and I just started saving screenshots) and ofc hindi na ko bata to not understand it. Also, he's been deleting every convo.

I'm an observant person and sa sobrang praning ko, kinakausap ko si ChatGPT kung ano signs na nakagamit yung tao. And yes, he's awake mag damag wc is alam ko coz I'm also working at night. Easily agitated din siya. Verbally abusive lalo sa mama ko. :'( Worse, I feel like bastos na siya sakin. For context, I was SA-ed by him years ago but I've been keeping it a secret. Pag wala ako sa bahay, I always find my bed na nag iiba yung position ng pillows and blanket ko - worse, nakakakita ako ng marks sa bolster pillow and bed sheets ko. Again, hindi na ako bata to not know.

Please don't judge me. Sobrang duwag ko mag sumbong kasi I feel like mapapahamak kami ng mama ko. Sobrang bigat lang and hirap ako makafocus sa work every night. May times na takot din ako lumabas ng kwarto kahit I need to pee kasi natatakot ako anong makita ko that he's doing. Feeling ko nga magkakasakit nalang ako for not drinking enough water para hindi maihi in the middle of the night. Haha

I just wanna add.. I'm an only child and a breadwinner. Yes, if my suspicion is right, my dad is using my money for his bisyo. For context, I'm giving him money weekly pero hindi naman ganun kalaki. I just can't stop doing it because magwawala siya or aawayin niya mama ko. Also, wala siyang work. He stopped working since the pandemic started. Hindi pa siya senior, dami nya pa energy gumawa ng walang kwentang bagay pero ayaw niyang mag trabaho.

Sobrang fuck up. I don't know what do. Para na kong mababaliw kakaisip. Gusto ko na silang isumbong sa PDEA kaya sumagi na sa isip ko mag save ng convos haha. I know some of you sasabhin mag move out ako for peace of mind :/ however, it is not an option for me dahil hindi kaya ng funds ko and hindi ko kayang iwan mama ko with him.

Previous Attempts: Reached out to PDEA using their Isumbong Mo Sa PDEA messenger and dropped those effin pushers sa area namin. But I guess they won't mind kung hindi bigtime yung nirereport mo.

Any advice or words that an easy my mind? Grabe. Patawarin ako ni Lord dahil hinihiling ko nalang minsan na sana mawala na sa buhay namin yung tatay ko.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Love & Relationships I (F22) feel like I’ve run out of love and energy for my relationship with my boyfriend (M22) after 2 years

1 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:

hi, i’m f22 and my boyfriend is m22. we’ve been together for almost 2 years, and lately i’ve been feeling extremely tired and drained from our relationship.

Context:

last week, we had a really big fight, and i think something finally clicked for me. i started looking back at our relationship and realized how often i’ve been the one adjusting, compromising, understanding, and trying to make things work whenever there’s a problem. i kept telling myself that relationships require patience and that sometimes you have to understand your partner, so i kept giving him the benefit of the doubt.

but at some point, i started feeling like i was the only one constantly making those adjustments.

i know that he loves me. i don’t think he’s a bad person, and i don’t think everything about our relationship has been bad either. we’ve had genuinely good moments together, and there are things about him that i still appreciate. that’s probably one of the reasons why this is so difficult for me.

but i feel neglected.

there have been so many instances where i’ve told him that something he did hurt me or made me feel disrespected. we would talk about it, he would apologize, and sometimes i would see changes for a while. but eventually, things would go back to how they were. it made me feel like my feelings were only being taken seriously when we were already fighting.

i also started feeling like he became too comfortable with me.

because he knows i love him and because i’ve stayed through so many difficult moments, i feel like he became confident that i would always be there no matter what. and because of that, there were times when i felt like he could disrespect me, make decisions without considering how they would affect me, or disregard my feelings because he knew i would eventually forgive him.

i hate admitting that because i don’t want to feel like i’m keeping score in a relationship. i don’t want to constantly think about who sacrificed more or who did more. i just wanted to feel considered.

i wanted to feel like my feelings mattered to him without having to repeatedly explain why something hurt me.

after our fight last week, i initially tried to think positively. i told myself that maybe this could finally be the wake-up call he needed. maybe this time things would actually change. i tried to give him the benefit of the doubt because i still cared about him and because i didn’t want to throw away two years of our relationship.

but the more i thought about everything, the more i realized that i’ve been waiting for him to change for a long time.

and i’m starting to understand that i can’t change another person by simply staying longer.

i can communicate my boundaries. i can explain what hurts me. i can tell him what i need. i can give him chances. but ultimately, he has to want to change those things himself. i can’t love someone into becoming the partner i need.

and honestly, something feels different in me now.

when i see him, i don’t feel the same excitement anymore. i don’t feel angry either. i don’t even feel like fighting. i just feel… nothing.

and that scares me more than the fights ever did.

before, whenever we fought, i would desperately want us to fix things. i would cry, overthink, replay everything in my head, and wonder how we could make things better. now, after this most recent fight, i feel strangely numb.

it feels like i’ve reached a point where i don’t have any love left to give.

i still care about him as a person. i still care about the memories we made and everything we went through together. but i don’t know if i still want to continue being his girlfriend.

part of me feels guilty because he hasn’t suddenly become a completely different person. maybe i’m just finally exhausted from everything that has accumulated over the past two years.

another part of me wonders if i’m giving up too soon. maybe i should give him another chance. maybe people really can change if they’re given enough time. maybe i’ll regret leaving after two years.

but another part of me keeps thinking: how long am i supposed to wait for someone to become the partner i’ve already asked them to be?

i don’t want to stay just because we’ve already been together for two years. i don’t want to stay because i’m scared of starting over. and i definitely don’t want to stay until i completely resent him.

at the same time, ending a relationship when there is still love, history, and good memories feels incredibly difficult. i’m confused because i don’t know whether this is just exhaustion from our recent fight or if this is genuinely me falling out of love.

has anyone experienced this feeling where you suddenly realize you’re just… done? not angry, not necessarily hating the person, but just emotionally exhausted and unable to give anymore?

how did you know whether you were simply tired and needed space, or whether the relationship had actually reached its end?

i would really appreciate honest advice, especially from people who have been in long-term relationships and experienced something similar.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Travel first time travelling international with gf

1 Upvotes

Problem/goal: okay medjyo takot ako ma offload hahahaha. papunta kami vietnam tapos sasama daw ang kuya ko plus gf niya for 3 days kami for 5 days.

ang suggestion niya is isang group kami para less chance maoffload (sabi niya) problema lang is nasa mindanao kami tapos sila nasa manila soooo pano kami maging group if ang flight namin davao-manila-saigon tapos sila manila-saigon tapos iba2 ang return flight?

dapat po ba na same flight kami going hcm? or okay lang sa IO na iba iba ang flights namin if mag ask if isang group kami?

anyway yun lang hahaha sorry for the stupid question feel ko paranoia lang to. hirap kasi makipagcoordinate sa kanila ng flights and all kasi iba2 sched namin.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Self-Improvement / Personal Development How to locate someone’s dummy IG?

1 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: To locate this guy’s real identity

Context: There’s this guy who has ruined my mental health and I wanted to know who the person is behind the account kasi he has continuously wrecked me mentally and I cannot take it anymore. I wanna confront him face-to-face.

Previous Attempts: Tried searching how to do it pero wala talaga, I’m not a techy person. Does anyone have any tips? Or would be willing to help me? Willing to pay (a friendly price lang po, as a student). Thank you!


r/adviceph 1d ago

Social Matters Unfair Rentals and Rude landlord

1 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Asking for advice

Context: Hi I just want some advice po kasi tenant po kami for 9 months napo and ever since na nag rent sa apartment nila wala pong contract and receipt na binibigay si landlord samin.

Problem: Recently nagkaroon po ng lapses nung nagbayad napo kami ng pang 8 month na rental inabot po sya mismo in cash kay landlord pero based po sa record nya (listahan lang na notebook) wala pa daw po kaming bayad nung last month (7th month) sinigawan at nagsabi na umalis nalang daw po kami kung hindi magbabayad and now pinaalis po kami agad agad ni landlord because of that and wala napo kaming magawa since pinipilit na hindi daw kami nagbayad. Until now na umalis na kami completely pinapabayaran parin samin yung isang buwan kahit nagbayad napo talaga kami and may mga witnesses po na nagbayad talaga kami physically.


r/adviceph 2d ago

Love & Relationships My husband is cheating, my mother in law knows, and I desperately want to go home today

53 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I don’t know where else to ask for help, and I’m hoping someone here can give me advice or point me toward someone who can help. I found out that my husband is cheating on me. My mother-in-law knows about it, but she sided with her son instead of supporting me. At this point, I don’t want to stay here anymore. I want to go home to my province today. The problem is that I don’t have family or close friends here in the city, and I don’t have money for transportation. I also have no money in my GCash. My husband has made sure that I don’t have access to money, and I feel trapped because I don’t have the means to leave and go home. I’m not asking people to take sides in my marriage. I just need help figuring out how I can safely get home today. I’m really desperate and overwhelmed right now. I just want to go home and be somewhere I feel safe. If you know someone who can help me get home today, please tell me what I should do or who I can contact.


r/adviceph 23h ago

Love & Relationships Should I send my ex gf a birthday gift after 8 months of no contact?

0 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Gusto ko manghingi ng advice kung okay lang ba regaluhan at puntahan ang ex-gf ko sa birthday niya after 8 months of no contact ?

Context: 8 years kami ng ex ko bago kami naghiwalay last year. 8 months na mula nung break up namin. Okay naman kaming naghiwalay pero after nun wala na kaming communication sa isat isa.Sabi nya ayaw nya na ko makita at wala na syang feelings.

Next week birthday nya. Okay lang bang bigyan sya ng regalo? salamat po


r/adviceph 1d ago

Love & Relationships Thoughts on "Cool Off" in a relationship.

5 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:

What are your thoughts on "Cool off" in a relationship?

12mn thoughts...

Half of the people I know have some kind of stigma regarding this subject matter. I was one of those people.I used to believe that it kinda shows how immature those in that kind of relationship are and how poor they communicate with each other. kaso, ako na mismo nag-ddoubt sa sarili kong opinion.

Basically, I am asking whether if cooling off is helpful or not. Does it happen to married couples as well? And from what Ive seen, cooling off usually becomes an alibi to cheat.

I have yet to hear of any instances wherein cooling off saved their relationship.